Gaijin Bash

Working at a Tsukemen Noodle Festival

2009-11-11T12:21:00.006+09:00

I was sitting in Ivan Ramen, one of my favorite ramen shops out in West Tokyo, chatting with Ivan Orkin, the owner. This was a couple months ago. He was in the beginning stages of working out his involvement in an upcoming tsukemen festival. Tsukemen is like ramen, but the noodles are cold, and served outside of the soup. Tsukemen is delicious and you should eat it. Here are some posts from my Ramen Adevnetures site that show the wonderful world of tsukemen:

TESTU
Yondaime Keisuke
Tasube

Hungry yet?

Ivan asked if I wanted to help him out at the Tsukemen Festival. Hell yeah I do. It's a win-win. I get to spend a weekend doing something totally rad, working in a ramen shop, and Ivan gets 20 hours of free slave labor. Hmmm...

Yeah, it was cool. But for real, it was non-stop labor from 10am until 10pm. With a 15 minute break around 3pm to eat.

And the lines were hella crazy. Here's the ticket line, 2 hours before the festival opened. Why the hell would you wait so long?

This guy. The "Soup Nazi" of ramen land. The "Ramen Nazi" if you will. Not that dude on the right side, he's just some random getting his slurp on before heading to a love hotel with his girl.

Sano-san is this evil ramen guy who shoots down ramen that isn't perfect in his opinion, all on national TV. But it he says your stuff is good, you are in like Flynn.

This guy's job is to hold a sign that says, "This isn't the end of the line, even though it looks like it. Go waaaaayyyyy baaaaaack theeeeeeere!"

Then this dude let's you know that you're gonna be here about 3 hours. For this:

Our line was about 20 minutes at most. We could get it down to 0 with some efficient noodle making, but if your line is too short, people don't want to get in it. At one point, we saw a few people turn away. "Fuck, stop making 5 at a time and only make 3". 20 minutes later, with a healthy line built up, we were back in business.

Here's what went into ours:

Hells yeah those are roasted tomatoes.

The process was simple.

Cook and cool the noodles and place them on the plate
Put the salad on the noodles
Put a bowl of hot soup on the plate
Toppings
Serve

When we were on point, it worked great. When we fucked up, I'd be sitting there with like 10 things in front of me trying to figure out which get an egg, which get roasted garlic, and how much time do I have until a break (the answer to the last one is "long").

But whatever. Some of the staff was stressing, or acting stressed, but people got their food in the end.

My buddies Nate and Keizo gettin' shit done.

Ivan headed things up....

... when he wasn't talking on the phone. Dude talked for like 3 hours on the phone each day. I guess it's good to be the boss.

The lines grew...

and grew.

Our finished product looked like this:

The soup was a white chicken cream soup with 20 ingredients. This was something I could drink straight (and did a few times).

Radical!

After lunch, walking back to Ivan's, I thought I'd take some pictures of other workers.

In the back of Keisuke's , I snapped this shot, then the big guy yelled, "You want some?" I had two options with my reply. Option 1, "No sir, I just ate and couldn't possibly have another bowl. I know it's no charge, but I just can't. Take care!". Option 2, "Hell yeah I want a bowl of your crab and shrimp soup!"

The hook up.

Back at Ivan, things died down a bit in the evening, and we were at a steady pace of 3 bowls at a time. A few of my friends showed up to say hi. Thanks a ton P, Y, M, C, K, S, L, M, M, and K.

In the end, we did about 1200 each day. That's a lot of noodles. And a lot of happy people. Even though food at an outdoor festival isn't going to be as good as at a shop, the atmosphere was live and fresh.

Check out this other shop. Can you read kanji?

It says Ganja.

They had some interesting toppings. Can you read katakana?

Free ganja... but they ran out.

Is this foreshadowing of my future*? Who knows!

*The ramen... not the ganja

Haikyo! Konomai Gold Mine in Hokkaido

2009-11-07T00:18:00.003+09:00

Like a year ago, I took an interest in Haikyo, Japanese urban decay. Products of modern civilization, usually modern overzealous spending, that have gone to the wayside. I bought a book, subscribed to a bunch of blogs, and got my tripod ready to go building hunting.

But apparently my interest went to the wayside too. A recent article from VICE says that urban decay is for lazy journalists. I'm no journalist, but I am lazy, and I can say that it takes a lot to get up and drive hours out of town to see this stuff.

I adopted a new philosophy about this stuff. I'll be an accidental Haikyo finder. If I'm out and about, and run into something random, I'll try my best to check it out. That's just what happened in Hokkaido.

The farmer I was working with took me for a few hours to a nice countryside onsen. On the way back, he pointed at a crumbling chimney in the distance, and in his broken English told me about a gold mine in the area that closed back in the 70s. I noted the spot, and headed out there the next day.

Konomai was the site of the biggest gold mine in Asia in the 40s. A town was built around it, housing some 13,000 people. But then it dried up, and the ground was basically leveled. I walked around for a couple hours looking for anything of interest.

One appeal of Haikyo for me is the ghost factor. The more fucked up the situation was, the more fucked up the spirits are gonna be, right? A love hotel might have some crazy Shining type thing going on. A school? Maybe ghosts of kids murdered by the night janitor. A gold mine though. Think about what might have gone down. Like B.I.G. said, "The chedda breeds jealousy". Dude dies in the mine while his wife is having an affair with the foreman or something. Vengeful ghost enacts his wrath upon all.

I searched and searched for anything freaky.

Then I heard a crash.

My motorcycle had mysteriously fallen over. The back end caught the guard rail, but if it hadn't, I would have been down in a ditch without a clue.

Took that as a clue, and headed back to finish milking cows.

Awesome Motorcycle Info Map of Tokyo

2009-11-05T07:48:00.004+09:00

Just found this rad map with links to bike stuff shops and circuits in the Kanto area. I hope someone somewhere find it useful!

View Motorcycle Spot in a larger map

Also this map shows you how to ride the Shuto, Tokyo's local highway system. Score!

I'll keep updating this post with fun motorcycle links, for anyone who is interested.

5:21 am

2009-11-04T16:23:00.001+09:00

As seen from my apartment. I gotta wake up early more often.

Hella 500 Yen Coins

2009-11-04T15:26:00.003+09:00

Ever wonder what hella 500 yen coins look like? Here you go.

About a year and a half ago, pockets weighed down with some heavy ass 500 yen coins, I found this piggy bank at the local buck store. 500 yen is about $5. Every time I buy a 100 yen アメリカンドッグ, I gotta break a 1000 yen bill and get another shiny gold coin.

So I had the extremely bright idea to never spend another 500 yen coin, and at the end of each day make a trip to my (extremely) local (piggy) bank.

I was totally diligent to this strange plan. Never spend a 500 yen coin. Even if something cost exactly 500 yen, and I had a coin handy, I would never use it. These coins became like my kryptonite. Some days I'd have like 5 or 6 at the end.

If all are 500
300,000
collect the coins of 500 yen, it saves 300,000

It was all good, my new financial plan. While the economy went to shit, I secretly did my thing. What could I spend 300,000 yen on! Some crazy new camera equipment? Put it towards a new motorcycle? 500 bowls of ramen?

Or maybe I would move and have a couple new expenses, like furniture, that needed to be paid for. Yeah, it's that one.

You literally have to bludgeon the bank with something.

Success!

I feel like a pirate with all these gold coins.

I'm rich, bitch!

Honk, honk!

The ATMs in Japan are crazy rad. They have built in coin deposit bins. The even take the 1 yen coins. Just toss it all in, Coinstar style, and you're good to go.

Apartment furnished, rent paid, and a little super glue put the bank back together for round 2.

Anybody else have any crazy saving schemes?

Tokyo Halloween 2009 - The Kawasaki Halloween Parade

2009-11-04T00:12:00.007+09:00

3 years ago, in Tokyo, I dressed as Batman and had a good ol' time.

2 years ago, in Hiroshima, I had an interesting night, once again in Batman garb. I was ditched by the only people I knew at the time. On my own I hooked up with a Filipino girl who then sent me Jesus Loves You text messages for the next month. I got the fuck out of Hiroshima a month later.

1 year ago, back in Tokyo, I took it easy, dressed as Doraemon, and hung out at my guesthouse and a local bar. I seriously have no good stories from that weekend, except that I met the Japanese version of Mad TV's Delivery Boy.

This year, it was to be this:

Marimokori. I talked about Marimokori's hometown in my Hokkaido report, but let me refresh the memory. "Marimo" is a ball of algae. "Mokori" is an erect penis. So it's both a play on words and a giant green man with a hard cock. I love Japanese word play, thats why I wore it!

But seriously, I'm not a pervert scum in any way when it comes to public appearances. Marimokori is a beloved character in Japan. One little girl, about 8, ran up to me and showed me her Marimokori phone accessory collection. A woman of 40 asked me to take a picture with her family. Even the elderly took part in the fun. On no less than 2 occasions, old men started screaming "Mokori Mokori!!" while pointing at my giant green member. Don't believe me?

Out in other parts of town, people were avoiding eye contact with me, just going on with their day. This is the reason you see grown men walking around wearing school girl outfits on a daily basis in Tokyo... no one acknowledges it. So you freak out one day and dress like a french maid to get some attention. No one gives it. You try harder the next day, maybe dying your hair pink. No one cares. Then you realize that a fluffy skirt is kind of comfortable, and pink matches your eyes, and it becomes your new life.

Anyways....

This year was spent at the Kawasaki Halloween Parade in the day, and clubbing at Ageha at night. No photos from the club, but plenty from the parade. Enjoy.

Mario family. Rad.

Gloomy, another popular-in-Japan character. Gloomy is a cute pink bear with Wolverine style claws who always accidentally cuts up and kills people.

Not the pink Power Ranger, I was informed.

めいど - Maid.

Chucky! Who remembers that Ghetto Boyz track? And yes, this year Halloween did fall on a weekend.

On this day I took my 10-20mm lens to shoot with. I love it! But you literally have to get 2 inches from people's face to take these shots. So Halloween is the only time when I can use it as a portrait lens.

Hayao Miayazaki. It's like dressing up as Walt Disney, except you don't need to be an anti-semite or label your animators as Communists.

Happy Halloween!

Izu, a Rider's Playground

2009-10-25T09:53:00.004+09:00

The Izu peninsula, about 100km from Tokyo, a hot destination for motorcycle riders. Most tourists just take the train to Atami. But the rest of this massive piece of land is not to be missed. There's palm trees, waterfalls, meadow-ed highlands, and coastal radness.

If nature isn't your thing, you can almost always see hella Ferraris. Or, like today, a Fairlady Z club.

If cars ain't your bag, Izu has the food thing going on. Lots of fresh fish, local wasabi, and some odder things. Here's my lunch of shish kebabed wild boar.

So gimme some pictures already!

The problem with me and Izu is that when I ride with my camera, the weather turns to shit. You can't see Fuji from the Izu skyline when you can't see the side of the road 2m away.

And when the weather is good, I'm riding with my track racer friends, and we never stop long enough to take out big bulky SLR cameras.

Anyways, stay tuned for Izu part 2, sometime in the next year hopefully.

Woke up late...

2009-10-24T02:09:00.002+09:00

Sometimes plans change.

Kawaiso Stories

2009-10-19T15:53:00.002+09:00

かわいそう = kawaiso = pitiful

After the summer break, I gave my high school girls an assignment. Write out something fucked up that happened during your vacation! We then voted on the stories. The kid with the most crazy fucked up story won a prize! Here's some of the gems.

I once ate 17 bananas at Boy Scout camp. True story.

She was the winner in one class. Seriously, she lost here saved game on a Nintendo game and every 17 year old girl was crying with sympathy. Or was it empathy.

Barfing was a common theme. Did you barf that much when you were 17? Ummm... let me rephrase... did you bar from eating too much? Once when we were 17, I drank a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 and "threw up all I had eaten".

Me too.

It was a diamond studded Lil John crunk cup.

A couple girls got shit on. I was happy that I got to teach her the word poop.

Ewwwwww!

She was absent for the homework and came up with this on the spot. A for effort.

I almost started crying, but everyone else in class was saying shogunai... that's life. The girl whose save game got deleted got more reaction. Welcome to Japan.

1st time it has ever happened in Japan.

Could be worse...

She wrote in the 3rd person to keep her anonymity. Didn't work too well when she had to read her story to everyone in class.

I guess there are giant scarab beetles running around her place.

Insects were another popular theme.

I'm not sure how to melt a cake either. It was at a Cake Viking, which is all you can eat desserts, so don't feel too bad for her.

Not really the assignment, but I'm very happy for her.

The Hokkaido Trip Summary

2009-10-16T12:10:00.004+09:00

On a Saturday night, at 9pm I left Monbetsu. Just after this bomb ass dinner made by the farmer's daughter!

This meat dish, made from lamb, is crazy popular in Hokkaido. The name is hilarious... ジンギスカン... Jingisu kan... Genghis Khan. Stir fried lamb and vegetables is named after the 11th century warlord... awesome.

At 11pm the next day, 26 hours and 1400km later, I arrived at my doorstep in Tokyo. I have nothing interesting to report about that stretch, except that I will never ride that far again. I saved a few yen, with the discounted weekend tolls, but I could have taken a ferry all the way to Tokyo, and in the end it would have cost maybe $60 more, factoring in gas prices and what not. Around hour 20 my brain was all mushy, and lane splitting at 80kmh was probably not something I should have been doing. I took a couple random photos:

Local juice.

An $80 steak. At a highway rest stop.

A $5 bowl of fried noodles made with the $80 steak meat.

Radness.

Gassness!

Darkness!

Snacksness.

Statisitcs!

Kilometers travelled: 5705
Nights stayed: 30
Yen Spent: 119,525 (roughly a thousand bucks)
Ice cream cones consumed: 9
Ramen bowl slurped: 8
Free onsens entered: 18
Cow nipples yanked: 160
Insects splattered on my helmet: 655,321

Did I mention that Hokkaido is god damned wonderful? Well it is, and I'll be going back there every summer that I remain in Japan. Done deal! As far as motorcycle touring goes, camping was great, but next time I think I'll stay at a rider's house every night. I'll also consult the ramen rankings before I go!

http://ramen.yahoo.co.jp/best10/index.html

I was able to go to one of these shops, but would have for sure hit up Muroran if I had known it was the hot new ramen town.

People always say that everyone is so nice in Hokkaido. I guess so. Are people jerks in Tokyo? I haven't really noticed too much assholery in this city.

A lot of people were surprised that I really didn't check out Hakkodate or Sapporo much. But every time people talk about Sapporo, it's like, "Sapporo is awesome! It's like a small Tokyo!"

Thanks for reading along, I hope my trip inspires you somehow. I'm back in Tokyo, and back to the usual. A month in Hokkaido was actually my big dream of the past couple years, ever since getting a motorcycle in Japan. So now it's on to something new. Any suggestions?

WWOOFing on a Dairy Farm

2009-09-24T09:39:00.001+09:00

Before I begin my recounting of a 2 week farm stay, where I would be volunteering my labor at a dairy farm, let me answer your obvious question, "What the hell were you thinking?!?" The safe answer, the one that feels right a couple months after the fact is... life experience.

WWOOF stands for World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms. Its a non profit that hooks up people who want to experience living and working on a farm with farms looking for said people. The brochure states a simple formula; half a days work for a place to stay and food to eat, with some old fashioned character building thrown in for free. If you want to know more, google it, this shit is international and pretty popular with the hipsters these days.

I'd wanted to do WWOOFing in Japan for a while now, but lacked the time. A lot of people will spend a month at a farm, then move to the next farm for a month, repeating this for 6 months or even years. It's a novel way to travel and see the world. But with limited time to spare, I could only do a 2 week stint. Hokkaido is famous for milk, so I picked a dairy farm. I could have chosen a nice field of corn, or some kind of organic cafe, but I wanted to live with the humblest of beasts, the cow.

A little about the farm. Mr. Kataoka is 60 years old and has been in the dairy farm business going on 40 years. He works from 6:30am until 6:30pm everyday, 7 days a week. He has 4 children, a few grandchildren, and about 70 cows. This is in the town of Monbetsu, way in the sticks of northeast Hokkaido. This is the polar opposite of anything I could imagine myself doing... ever.

I've heard all sorts of different WWOOF stories. In some, the WWOOFer basically lives at a ski resort hotel, spending a few hour peeling carrots or something before clocking out and hitting the slopes. I've heard stories of spreading fertilizer in the hot sun for hours on end. I've heard mostly good stories though, thats for sure. Mine? In retrospect, it was good. But it was hard work. I won't lie, I really expected a sort of home stay type situation, where the farmer has plenty of normal help, and I'm just sort of there to lend a hand. I felt like I was necessary here. Which is good and bad at the same time. My energy was obliterated at the end of each day.

I should also mention that, being a dairy farm, there is poo everywhere. You wear a suit which I dubbed the "poo suit". You wear giant "poo boots". You get a lot of poo on you no matter how careful you are. At any given time, 15% of the cows are pooping. I did the math.

Here's the daily schedule:

6:30am to 9:00am - Milk the cows, feed the baby cows, clean the milking room of poop. Eat breakfast.
10:00am - 11:30am - Take the cows to the pasture, clean the cow shed of one days worth of poo. This requires heavy machinery. Eat lunch.
2:00pm - 3:00pm - Bring the cows back from pasture.
4:00pm - 6:30pm - Milk the cows, feed the baby cows, clean the milking room of poop. Eat dinner.

Before:

During:

After:

Milking time:

Have you ever heard the story of the traveling salesman who asked the farmer if he could stay the night?

During the free time, I was on the internet a lot. The farm had a high speed connection to the world, but no cell phone reception. I also drank like 8 glasses of milk a day, made some ice cream, and hiked around the area. Monbetsu, the closest thing resembling a city, was actually about 30 minutes drive away. Yeah, this was the middle of it.

After 10 days of working with the farmer, another WWOOFer came along to help out, so that was cool.

One day I thought I had hay under my clothes for about an hour, because of the itchiness. I dealt with it for a bit, then threw off the clothes. Found a palm sized spider crawling around against the skin of my lower back.

I thought the cows would be friendly. Yes, I imagined sitting in the pasture, napping against a particularly friendly bovine. Like in the movies! But, the cows were pretty much just robots. Their one command function is typing "bay bay!" into the input terminal. This causes them to proceed towards their next task, whether it be walking into the milking cage, or returning to the shed after grazing. Only the "bay bay" wasn't a simple command line input. It was like you were typing with nothing but your forehead. "Ba1y baay" would yeild nothing but an unmoving animal. "Bey ba74y!"... nothing. "Bay bay!"... 5 steps in the right direction, hooray. Repeat until finished. It was mind numbing at times.

They also respond to being poked in the tookass with shrubbery.

That was it for the dairy farm, and that was it for Hokkaido!

Next time: A wrap up of Hokkaido

Hokkaido!... Towards Monbetsu

2009-09-24T09:38:00.002+09:00

Headed east.

There were horses.

I raced an R6 to this point on the coast. The R6 won.

Found where they throw away the used scallop shells. It smelled bad.

So I ate a scallop burger. It was delicious.

Here is a man taking a picture of a fox. I also took a picture.

I camped here.

I laughed at their funny bug suits. Then I got eaten by a thousand tiny gnats. It sucked.

That's it! Tour over.

Next time: 2 weeks working (WWOOFing) on a dairy farm in Monbetsu.

Hokkaido!... Shiretoko

2009-09-24T09:36:00.004+09:00

Route:

Roads: 243 -> 885 -> 150 -> 975 -> 950 -> 335 -> 87 -> 334

Shiretoko is one of the last true natural places in Japan. But first, my hella awesome dinner!

Chan Chan Yaki is a Hokkaido style fish barbecue. Salmon, trout, squid, scallops... good eats for sure. This was my first night staying at a rider's house, which is pretty much just a cheap place for riders to crash. They are all over Japan, especially in Hokkaido. The room you sleep in is something like this:

Just a massive room with tons of futons to sleep on. Good enough for me, is it good enough for you? They are usually run by old guys who are giving back to the motorcycle touring community. I met all kinds of cool people here.

A group of college students taking a 10 day bicycle trip. Random people taking a couple days away from Sapporo. Tokyo peeps. Old guys on Harleys whose eyes lit up when I told them about the sheer straightness of Highway 5 in California. "500km of totally straight road! My dream come true!"

More onsens, of course, in the area.

But take a closer look.

Anyways... if you are an onsen fan there is an onsen waterfall here. Let me paint the picture. A torrent of hot water, cascading down the mountain. As you climb higher and higher, the water gets hotter and hotter. Behind you, the ocean. Each of the many falls has a pool at the base for soaking. This is no trickle either, but proper river sized.

Now the reality. $15 for a bus ticket (private vehicles not allowed). 45 minutes along a dirt road each way. One you get to the tepid waterfall, you climb higher. Then you see the signs indicating danger and prohibition of entry. The fabled boiling hot waterfalls are inaccessible. Just the one at the base. Back to the 45 minute bus ride. If you are lucky you might see a deer.

I'd like to come back here and do some hiking someday. The peninsula is road free for the most part. If you do have a car though, head along the southern side to this onsen on the water.

Then pop across the street for some ramen.

Wait a sec... BEAR ramen?!?

Also, I went down to the Notsuke peninsula for no reason in particular. Fairly standard, but what's this?

An ultra right-wing uyoko propaganda bus... on a sightseeing trip. "On your left, the lovely bay of Notsuke, known for beautiful driftwood. And on your right, the commie Russian bastard's Kuril Islands... the Emperor's rightful property!"

My bike fully loaded. The tank bag has my SLR camera with 2 lenses, which takes up most of the room. Also my wallet, phone, iPod, and toilet/onsen kit. On the back is a massive waterproof bag. I searched and searched and searched for a hard case system like this. I was totally down to spend like $600 on an awesome detachable case setup. I seriously spent about 20 hours over the last 6 months searching for this for my CB1000. Bike shops, internet auctions, the local dealerships. But it turns out the CB1000 isn't that common of a bike, and the only company that made something for my bike was Krauser, and it would cost about $1200 for a set of hard cases. I could have had something custom made, but that would be expensive too. So, in the end, just bought a massive bag and strapped it on with bungee cords. Good enough to hold my camping gear, a couple changes of clothes, and a set of waterproof gear for the rain that never came.

Next time: In search of the fabled square sunset. Yeah, it's as exciting as it sounds. Also biting gnats.

Hokkaido!... Lake Mashu

2009-09-24T09:33:00.007+09:00

Heading East:

The roads: 274 -> 134 -> 242 -> 241 -> 243 -> 52 -> 243 -> 391 -> 52 -> 243

The first lake was Akanko.

This is, of course, the birthplace of Marimokori, the character who has almost surpassed Hello Kitty in cell phone strap attachment popularity. What is a Marimokori? Lets examine the Japanese. A marimo is an algae ball formed in this particular lake in Hokkaido. The gentle lapping of the lake, along with what I can assume is ideal algae making chemistry results in small green spheres.

Combining marimo with mokori we get Marimokori. What's a mokori? Well, its a big hard cock! This is official business here, and in any tourist spot in this fine country you can purchase a Marimokori celebrating the local area to hang from your cell phone for $4. You think this is some sort of pervert joke, but hella my Junior High and High School students have Marimokri things.

Also there is official marimo (kori?) ice cream.

Found a nice camp spot on the shores of Kussharoko, another lake in the area. Can't beat this!

These lakes are all volcanic craters, which means plenty of onsens. This one is on a beach. Dig into the sand and the hot water bubbles out.

Check out this one. Left is for the ladies and right is for the boys. Privacy, shmivacy.

This one is a disgusting marsh-hot spring. It remained un-entered.

This beautiful artwork is native to the area, and part of the Ainu culture.

There were two old guys selling it, and we started talking. They asked if my tattoos present a problem when I teach in High School in Tokyo. I told them that I always wear long furosode. A slip in the language, as sode means sleeves, but furosode are the special sleeves on Japanese kimonos. His response, and remember this is some random dude I just met, was something like, "You know whats totally awesome about furosode? Because the cuff is so huge, you can slip your hand in, sneak it up, and then grab a giant handful of bare tits. Wouldn't you agree? My friend here knows what I'm talking about. I love me some titties!"

More local volcanic fun. Wicked!

Hungry?

Selling eggs. Probably been selling eggs for the past 40 years.

And more local ice cream. Scrumptious!

Then it was off to Lake Mashu. An iconic lake in Hokkaido, there are no rivers into or out of it's basin. The water remains at a constant level, and the sharp edges prevent access. I heard later that it is covered in fog almost every day.

Had a nice soak in a foot onsen at the station with some new friends. We talked about Disneyland for 15 minutes.

Back to the camp site for a midnight dip into the onsen.

The next day I took a walk around the peninsula I was camping near.

All kinds of sulfur leaking out. There has gotta be a hot spring.

Someone built this hidden onsen into the lake. Some other dude was there, and we were just chatting when I see this furry black thing walking along the bank of the lake. It was a massive black ferret, just minding the fuck out of it's own business, while scaring the shit out of a couple of naked dudes.

My Japanese language ability is no where near what I'd like it to be, but when in one day you have a conversation about how a ferret is more interested in bugs than naked dudes, a conversation about how kick ass Disneyland is, and a conversation about feeling up girls through their festive, traditional clothing... well maybe my Japanese is just where it needs to be.

Next time: Off to Shiretoko, where deer and bears roam free.

Hokkaido!.... Daisetsuzan National Park

2009-09-24T09:25:00.008+09:00

I waited out some bad weather in the morning, then headed towards Asahikawa. But Asahikawa was not the destination, just a mere rest stop before heading to Daisetsuzan National Park. The weather went from bad to worse, and I decided to fuck up my budget and stay in a hotel. Of course, the minute I booked a room at the Toyoku Inn, the clouds parted. And for being the 2nd biggest city in all of Hokkaido, Asahikawa is kind of lame. Except for the ramen and this place.

Had some beers at the Taisetsuzan brewery, which is actually more of a family restaurant than a nice place to drink beer. Who brings their kids to a brewery? Cut that shit out people!

Next morning headed out and drove the length of the national park. Here's the route:

The roads: Bibai -> 12 -> Asahikawa -> 39 -> 140 -> 295 -> 140 -> 39 -> 273 -> 85 -> 1088

Its gorgeous here.

Ended up at this campground.

With this free onsen next to the river. This is the life, 20 minutes in a bath, eat some snacks, 20 minutes in a bath, study a bit, 20 minutes in a bath, take a nap, 20 minutes in a bath, sleep. Feel free to add booze to every comma mark there.

Using the camp as a base, I spent a day exploring a 100km radius. First, a nice long dirt road into the remote mountains for this!

Ok, on paper it looks like an unbelievable place. I don't know who built this, but they did it up proper. Just me, nature, and a hot bath. So relaxing! But...

It's hella hot. The source is almost 100 degrees Celsius. So basically boiling. There is a valve for hot onsen water and one for cold river water. But the valve is either rushing torrent ON, or no water OFF. The balance is really hard. Wouldn't be too bad, just takes some time. Lie out in the sun and wait for that perfect heat to build up. Except the bug of this leg of the trip is the buyo, which is some kind of biting Japanese horsefly. And remember, you are naked in an onsen situation. And the buyo bites.

No camping dude!

Also went to Obihiro, another large city in Hokkaido. Of course, the minute I park my bike I find an awesome Irish bar with a cool owner who told me the best place in town for Obihro style pork bowls. I would have stayed here, but the tent was already pitched miles away.

The Obihiro Pork Bowl was recommended by a student of mine. When I said I was going to Hokkaido, and I wanted suggestions, his eyes lit up. "Obihiro Pork!!!" Nothing else in all of Hokkaido, just eat up some of that pork.

In defense of my hungry student, this was some damn tasty pork.

Back to the camp, back to the onsen. Hung out with some Canadian dude who thinks that there is a big conspiracy to overthrow Western ideals, and that civilization as we know it is going to be plunged back into the dark ages.

Here's the thing I noticed though. In my life I've had long conversations with maybe 15 Canadian people. Out of those 15, 5 were bat shit crazy conspiracy theorists. One dude I met always wears yellow tinted glasses because he thinks that companies spend billions studying colors to put on their advertisements, and if you wear color tinted glasses you can negate their mind control. So, in my case, 1/3 of Canadians are, like, out there man. To be fair, 15 isn't a good sample size... and if I extend the study to westerners in general who come to Japan, 1 out of 10 people are crazy whack funky (sample size more like a few hundred). That's the end of my short rant.

Next time: Off to some lakes, Akanko, Kussharoko, and Mashuuko. That first one is the birthplace of Marimokori, the algae boy with a giant erection. What? Hokkaido is still part of Japan, remember?

Hokkaido!... The Middle Bits

2009-09-23T12:52:00.006+09:00

From the coast, headed inland to Bibai. Here's the route:

The roads: 229 -> 913 -> 229 -> Fruit Road -> 5 -> 337 -> 275 -> 6 -> 33 -> Bibai -> 12 -> 116 -> 452 -> 135 -> 38 -> 237 -> 544 -> 253 -> 298 -> 291 -> 966 -> 237 -> Bibai

Exciting numbers.

Along the way, seems a little touristy. The Otaru area is just close enough to Sapporo for a family fun style day trip, which means lame tourist attractions! Like some random space land.

Or a fruits information center.... with a massive slide!

What's the opposite of "Wheeeee!!!"??

Or a park dedicated to world famous Japanese sculptor Kan Yasuda. Actually that last one was kind of cool.

Stayed with a friend in Bibai. Fun fact, it has the 8th highest old people per capita population in Japan. Also there is a McDonalds within driving distance of the town. That's about it. My apologies to the Bibai tourism board, but your town is whack. Well, it's halfway between Sapporo and Asahikawa, which are the 2 biggest cities in Hokkaido. But check out the last train time from Asahikawa.

10:00pm! Some dudes invited me to their hip hop club in Asahikawa, but thats not even remotely possible.

Oh, and there was a big festival going on in Asahikawa.

Asahikawa is well known for it's ramen. Roasted pork bones stewed in a soy sauce base. If you want to know more about ramen, look at my other site, Ramen Adventures.

So what else is near Bibai? How about Furano! This is the spot, yo. If you've seen any Hokkaido tourism brochure, you have seen flowing fields of lavender flowers, stretching to the horizon. Visions of a magical land. Didn't Oz have miles of poppies on the way to the castle? Anyways, it's pretty breathtakingly beautiful.

Beautiful in photos. Turn around and there were no less than 30 tour busses full of people lining up to see this one field of flowers. Yeah, one field. Theres a lot of agriculture in Furano, but its all regular stuff like potatoes or beans or the like. Then you have this one field of pretty flowers, that probably was on TV at one time*, then people flocked to it, then that spawned another TV appearance, and the spiral went on. Whatever, they have lavendar ice cream which was kind of cool.
*It totally was I found out later!

Oh yeah, bonus story! I was driving through the mountains that day. I make a lot of passes on the bike, but I usually don't pass on the double yellow lines. So I'm behind 3 or 4 guys, waiting for that dotted white, and this Nissan Skyline goes flying around me. The chase is on! Skidding around corners, some quick braking to avoid random deer or foxes, and some frightened old ladies is all part of the game. The racing game. Then I see a giant staute of a dinosaur and quietly excuse myself from the festivities. I mean how often do you see a giant T-Rex statue in Japan? Ok, I know the answer is every other day, but thats not the point. Also a waterfall.

Then, about 5 km past the waterfall, I see that same Skyline, completely wrapped around a pole. Demolished. With an angry rich guy on a cell phone standing outside. So I guess I won... sort of.

The touring map recommended some roads up onto the western edge of Daisetsuzan nation Park. Lots of remote mountain hot springs up here, so bring your towel.

Next time: Daisetsuzan, dubbed the playground of the gods. Get my hopes up why don't you!

Hokkaido!... Around the Southwestern Tip.

2009-09-23T12:26:00.007+09:00

2 weeks of motorcycle touring has officially begun. I didn't do much research before I came, I figured people I met would give me suggestions, and the Japanese Touring Mapple guides show free campgrounds and free onsens, so its gonna be a day by day thing. Anyways, I got pointed to the southwest, around the Matsumae Peninsula. Here's the route:

The roads: 228 -> 229 -> 277 -> 229

Microsoft Paint has a GPS feature.

The insect of this leg of the trip is tanbo, dragonflies. My new white riding jacket was covered in tanbo bits. Dudes on Harleys with their skull cap helmets better like the taste.

The coastal route was great. And the rain stopped for the first time in 3 months. Nature straight hooked me up!

Popped into this free mountain onsen for an hour with some crazy dudes from Asahikawa. They took a lot of photos, which probably means theres nude photos of me on the internet now. If you are lucky enough to see em, sorry about the blinding whiteness, I don't go out in the sun... ever. Also, we jumped in the river and it was cold. Anyways...

Camped at this free camping spot in the mountains.

Ate some hella good foods.

And some more hella good foods.

And more onsens.

And more camping.

The roads here are long and scenic. The speed limit is 50kmh almost everywhere you go. That's like 35mph. It's almost a joke. Everyone I talked to said to expect at least one speeding ticket. But it seems that the cops only hang out on the main roads. The Mapple Touring atlas warns of some spots, so of course I slowed down there, but other than that I maintained a comfortable speed (50kph ain't comfortable) and never got spotted for the whole time.

Your mileage may vary.

FYI, there are sometimes speed cameras that take a photo of the front of your vehicle. S.W.I.M. was speeding and suddenly, bam!, a big flash of red and white light. Ticket in the mail?

The coast here is some really good camping. At night, the squid boats go out and use high powered lights to lure their catch. It's pretty magical, seeing their lights dotting the horizon.

Working north along the coast, I headed inland to Niseko, home of Youteizan. Because of the shape, it's known as the Mt. Fuji of Hokkaido. It's there somewhere, I think. I didn't stick around long.

Back to the coast, Cape Kamuimisaki is pretty nice.

Next time: Headed inland for some ramen, flowers, and the only day of rain on my trip.

Hokkaido!... Oma to Hakkodate

2009-09-23T12:21:00.003+09:00

An hour from Osorezan is Oma, famous for its tuna. I missed the 7:10 ferry and had to wait until the 2:30 one. Great... time to explore exciting Oma.

This is one of the MANY places in Japan that is crazy boring, but it's slightly famous for some random thing. In this case, its famous for tuna and being the northernmost point of Honshu. So every 30 minutes at the northernmost tourist stop, a couple busses show up, and the tuna pushers come out in droves. Then, 10 minutes later, everyone leaves and the tuna ladies get a break.

The tuna is pretty damn good though.

Not to mention the fresh uni.

The shop owner realized I was actually in need of breakfast, so she went and got me a bowl of rice for free. Solid!

Arrived in Hakkodate at around 5:00pm. Turns out it had been pouring rain for the last 3 months straight. If I had started my bike trip on time I would have been caught in that and spent 2 days just sitting around. That's some universal synchronicity going on there. Word!

I met my friend, and almost immediately was out. Turns out I hadn't slept for 48 hours!

Next time: Around the southern tip of the island, free onsens, and possible nude pictures of me available on the internet.

Osorezan - 恐山

2009-09-23T12:09:00.003+09:00

恐 = fear
山 = mountain
恐山 = Fear Mountain

Yep, a place in Japan called "Fear Mountain".

Osorezan came highly recommended. It's one of the three holiest sites in Japan, founded in the 9th century by Buddhist priest En'nin. Chillin in Kyoto having a dream, En'nin was shown a place with 108 boiling pools of sulfur and mud, each corresponding to one of the 108 worldly desires, each linked to hell itself. The landscape wasn't just gloom and doom though, the 8 mountains and lake were so beautiful that they were nothing less than an image of Paradise, a blooming lotus flower. En'nin walked 30 days from Kyoto, found his dream spot, built a statue of the Bodhisattva Jizo, and the rest is Buddhist history.

If you come here July 20th, blind mediums will channel the dead for you. No blind mediums on July 27th though. Missed it by a couple of days.

There are some onsens inside the temple itself. Don't forget your towel. At 6am, I had the whole place to myself.

Living in Tokyo, one can forget how amazing the religious sites in Japan are. Tokyo is chock full of temples and shrines, but they are nestled between crumbling high rise apartments and messy power cables in most cases. Something like Osorezan is well...

... amazing.

Next time: I missed the ferry from Oma to Hakkodate.

Hokkaido!... Let's Go!

2009-09-23T00:51:00.005+09:00

The plan = Leave early Saturday morning to take advantage of the 1000 yen flat rate toll on expressways. Camp on the "ax handle" of Aomori Prefecture near Osorezan. Well rested, I'd take the ferry Sunday morning to Hakkodate to meet some people to ride motorcycles with and crash on their couch.

The plan also = completely fucked.

I stuck the key in my bike Friday night. No go. The starter was doing it's job, but the engine wasn't starting. I guess that means the starter wasn't doing it's job. Anyways, suddenly my month long vacation to the north of Japan, Hokkaido, was put on an immediate hold. The prospects of 23 degree weather and epic motorcycle touring... delayed. Not a good way to start the weekend. I got drunk and went to sleep, figuring I could fix the issue the next day.

The next day. I couldn't fix the issue.

The battery had a problem in the past, and a good charge was all it needed. I don't own a battery charger. So I went and bought a battery charger from the bike district near Ueno Park. Got home, charged the battery, it's now the afternoon on Saturday. The charge, of course, was ineffective. I started checking off a list. Push the bike to a station and fill it with gas... check. Clean the carbs... check. Add some oil... check.

Random side note. The dude at a local bike shop had to use Wikipedia's Japanese site to look up what a funnel was. Not the English to Japanese translation, but the actual existence of a thing that you use to pour liquid into holes. I dunno.

Oh yeah, it's like Sunday night by now. I should be in Hakkodate, eating ika somen, sitting in an onsen, and not at my apartment watching old episodes of Conan - Future Boy on my computer. Then, on another random check of the bike, I see that something on the top of the engine looks askew. These yellow rubber plugs are off somehow. It turns out some jerk-o pulled my spark plugs sometime in the last couple weeks. Who pulls spark plugs? Bunch of savages in Bunkyo if you ask me. Plugged them back in, and started the bike on the first go. Literally ran up to my room, grabbed my shit, and left. It was now a race against the clock. At 11:59 the cheap toll would revert to the expensive toll. About $10 would become about $150.

On to the expressway, I could see stars in the sky and dry lightning in the distance. I think I had some 48 hour Armin Van Burren trance mix to keep my awake and speedy.

The plan B = drive hella fast until 11:55 and then take the first exit I see. The 1000 yen discount, like Cinderella, vanishes at midnight.

The plan B also = All kinds of good.

That exit turned out to be in Kitakami, which is for reals the middle of nowhere. There was a local road that parralls the expressway, so on to that I went. Grabbed some dinner at 1am at a family resaurant. Some small talk with the waitress revealed that she lives in town and that Kitakami is a great place. Then she ran away because I was probably the first foreigner she'd ever talked to.

According to the internet, Kitakami is famous for a sword dance. Word.

I got a tip for you, don't order the "Mexican Pilaf with Cheese Curry Chicken". It wasn't good. Coupled this with about 6 cappuccinos. You do the math.

By the time the sun rose, I had made it to my destination, Osorezan.

Next time: A sacred mountain whose kanji characters are fear + mountain. Yes, please.

Crazy Cube Tower

2009-09-23T00:16:00.003+09:00

Check out this crazy building made by stacking dinky rooms on each other. Apparently, people thought modular housing would be the future of city life. Then the bubble burst and everyone forgot.

Also on the street in front is an advertisement for an underground restaurant. Usually they use the nice, always fresh plastic food models. But here they just slap some plastic wrap on the real thing. On a folding table on the sidewalk.

The July Sake-Swap

2009-09-22T23:47:00.003+09:00

Signed up for this sake-swap thing back in July. The idea is that you get paired with a random person and have to send them a bottle of sake. In turn they send you one. It's as simple as the name... a sake-swap. I want to "understand" sake a little more, so this might be educational. I only knew of one good sake by name that you can't buy at the local 7-11, so I sent that. In return, I got this great bottle of Odayaka Tokubetsu Junmai from Etsuko over at Tokyofoodcast. Solid. She describes it as a "feel good" sake.

And nothing says "feel good" like some half priced tuna sushi from the supermarket. My attempt at pairing sake with food.

Good sake, cheap sushi, and some anime on the computer. This could work. Note the coffee mug for sippin' the fine nihonshu. Classy.

No lengthy review of the sakes "nose", or what "notes" develop, or even the "taste". Like I said, I don't know anything about reviewing sake. Head over to Tokyofoodcast for a real review!

What's for Dinner?

2009-09-21T15:34:00.002+09:00

A $45 pizza topped with sirloin steak. From Dominos.

Gundam in Odaiba

2009-09-20T09:53:00.002+09:00

There's a life-size Gundam in Odaiba. Here are my over processed photos of it.

Every 30 minutes there is a "show". Basically there is music and the Gundam's head turns left and right and everyone in attendance except me is seriously into that.

Check it out before it blasts off... into the future!*

*It's gone, sorry. I didn't have internet for 3 months.

New Apartment in Bunkyo

2009-09-18T14:24:00.004+09:00

Here it is, the new place. It's in the Bunkyo district of Tokyo, which is on the northern side. The place is actually inside the Yamanote train line, which is dope. A friend suggest it be called RadPad. So I give you RadPad.

It's a 1K, meaning a small kitchen, bathroom, and 1 large bedroom.

But don't call it an apartment. It's a マンシオン. Yes, in Japan an apartment building which is higher than 3 stories is called a mansion. Real mansions don't exist in this country.

One cool feature is that every room has some sort of control panel, all Jetson's style. What's that about?

The bathroom has a few settings, one is a dryer. Hang your wet laundry inside and hit the button. Through the magic of heaters and fans, your stuff is all dry a few hours later. This is hella useful in muggy, rainy Japan.

The bedroom has a video intercom connected to the doorbell in the lobby. Kanji lesson time! That round button at the top, that sets off the alarm. Found that out the hard way. How long before help arrived? It took the security company 2 weeks to respond. Im not joking. Homeboy showed up at the door 2 weeks down the road all like, "Is there a problem, you set off the alarm."

Washlet. I'm gonna miss these if I ever leave this country.

The view from the entrance. My High School is down there, about a kilometer away. I went from a one hour commute on packed Tokyo trains in the morning to a 5 minute stroll.

The view from the balcony. It's rad at night, but I can't seem to take a good night shot of it.

Moving was interesting. Zero furniture or appliances. Coming home each day to a sleeping bag on a yoga mat isn't the best way to say おつかれさまです。 Luckily, in Tokyo, there is a constant flow of foreigners leaving the country. This leads to the "Sayonara Sale". Most things are about 1/3 the price. Some good places to look are

Metropolis Classifieds
Gaijinpot Classifieds
Craiglist

Delivery can be a problem though. There are also second hand shops, most of which will deliver. Or find someone with a truck, which is pretty hard in this country. Or just buy new off the internet. Or carry a giant washing machine 3km on a hot summer day and get to be known as the crazy knew foreigner around your neighborhood.

Took about 2 weeks to get everything sorted.

How much? Well, a typical apartment like this, a 1K on a high floor in a new mansion, is around $1000 to $1500 a month. There are also a lot of upfront costs. 1-2 months "key" money. 1-2 months "deposit" (you wont get this back). And 1 month to the real estate office. Plus regular rent charges. So you can easily have to dish out more than $6000 within your first month.

Most Japanese people live with their parents until they are married.

I paid less, but there are some extenuating circumstances that I can't go into on the blog.