Wrath of the Empire

Hoth is no different.

You fight a lot of Wampas, but they’re nothing compared to the Rancors the core game threw at you. More challenging are the platforming elements I remember from Super Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back. There’re some nice surprises once you reach the Rebel base — including an Expanded Universe shaking event — but too much time is devoted towards chopping up anonymous Rebels.

Hoth was previously only available in the Ultimate Sith Edition of the game. It arrived on Xbox Live without much fanfare and — the horrors — without Achievements. It’s too short, too easy and too expensive to recommend, especially since so many other games do Hoth so well.

I found this video over at Hawty McBloggy and it’s worth watching even though I disagree with Brian Schmoyer’s assertion that video games, as entertainment, have no lasting value. The short version is that after 30 years of gaming, the Schmoyer found himself “alone, overweight and divorced,” and he blames this on the time he spent playing video games.

Coming off of two Dragon Age playthroughs and one run through Mass Effect 2, I’m probably more sympathetic towards Schmoyer’s POV than a gaming blogger should be. I’ve basically minored in BioWare RPGs. However, I don’t think I could have made better use of that time so much as I would have made other use of that time — at the very least, I should have done more laundry.

Still, in between my tours of Ferelden and Masseffectium, I’ve managed to keep my approval rating high among my friends and family. Likewise, I continue to have a strong romance with my wife, which I attribute to the diversity of conversation options we have available. Finally, though my quest log is never empty, I remain a kickass Collection Development Librarian (it’s all about the graphic novels).

Stand Up to Cancer and Microsoft Join Together with “The Big Bang Theory’s” Jim Parsons

Pinnacle Station

Capture, Survival, Hunt and Time Trial are the four modes of gameplay fought in subterranean, volcanic, tropical and warehouse arenas. Similar to what you might find in a multiplayer game, these simulations are less compelling in a single-player RPG.

Survival – endless waves of enemies – works the best, welcoming different playing styles and combinations of biotic and combat abilities. Hunt and Time Trial – both focused on killing enemies as fast as possible – are less effective, especially since Hunt requires convenient enemy spawns. Capture – hitting three or four checkpoints – is the least well designed since it relies purely on memorizing the map.

I always thought Mass Effect had a crude, but effective, combat engine and Pinnacle Station reinforces this belief. There’s fun to be had here, but sluggish gunplay and teammates who can’t keep up with Shepard’s pace add unwelcome complications. Overall, this expansion seems poorly balanced. I took on Saren in Insane Difficulty, but the basic simulations had me reaching for the “I’m too Young To Die” setting.

Ultimately, it fails to offer an essential Mass Effect experience, but the final simulation and its reward make this expansion worth muscling through for completists.

Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
Developer: Level-5
Publisher: Nintendo
Platform: Nintendo DS
Released: August 24, 2009
Test Freaks’ Freak Score: 9.6/10

If you’ve played the first game, you’ll recognize the game’s structure. Resembling a point-and-click adventure, you navigate around a map by tapping your stylus on a series of mostly static screens. Populating these screens are villagers who fill-in their locale’s backstory and challenge you with puzzles.

The Professor Layton games collect brain teasers and plug them into a framework of overarching mysteries. Want to find someone’s home? You’ll have to decipher clues they’ve left you. Need to explore a mine? You’ll have to deal with wiring issues. Combine this with a whimsical art style, solid voice acting, beautiful music, and gorgeous animation and you have a charming game.

Which key opens the door?

Even if this game were a retread of Curious Village, I would have no problem recommending it, but Level-5 has added some fun new features. Apprentice Luke creates a sandbox obstacle course for his overweight hamster. Professor Layton brews tea for picky villagers. Building a camera leads to spot-the-difference camera puzzles.

With over 20 hours invested, I’ve completed the story mode and beaten most of the 138 puzzles in the core game. However, I’ve barely touched Layton’s Challenges and haven’t downloaded any of the weekly puzzles. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to figure out how many hops it takes a frog to get to his home.

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard
Developer: Vicious Cycle Software
Publisher: D3 Publisher
Platform: Xbox 360 (also PS3)
Released: Feb. 26, 2009
Test Freaks’ Freak Score: 5.9/10

Matt Hazard is the legendary Marathon character who hit the big time in the 8-bit days. Since then his career has taken a downward trajectory. Hoping to pull himself up from flops like Haz-Matt Carts, Matt is entering the “next-gen” era, but Marathon owner Wallace “Wally” Wellesley has other ideas. Wally hopes to pull off a twist by killing Matt in his own game setting up Sting Sniperscope as Marathon’s new golden boy.

Eat Lead, Wafferthinn!

While this sounds like Left 4 Dead’s AI Director gone rogue, the end result is that one generic setting is exchanged for another. There are some good set pieces: a multistage sniper sequence finds you providing cover for Bill the Wizard and fighting zombies on a tennis court is original, but most of the levels are unmemorable.

Eat Lead, Cowboy!

Of course the real challenge comes from multiplayer — not that it has multiplayer, but you get an Achievement for it anyway. But this is a game where you earn an Achievement for pressing start. It’s all part of the sense of humor which carries the game. Will Arnett voices Matt Hazard and he does a great job capturing the meta nature of the character. Neil Patrick Harris has less to work with as Wally, but it’s still NPH.

Much like 2004’s The Bard’s Tale, Eat Lead forgets gaming clichés are fun to point out, but annoying to play through. If a little less effort was put into being funny and more effort put into being fun, this would be a game worth recommending.

In terms of length and level design, Tatooine isn’t better than the previous expansion (Jedi Temple). The add-on, once again, only adds 30 minutes of gameplay and you basically run in a straight line until you reach the end. For 800 MS Points ($10), players deserve more – however, there’s a lot to be said for fanboy appeal.

Punting Jawas and choking Gamorrean guards never gets old and the obligatory showdown against Boba Fett works really well. Even if you’re expecting the endboss, you’ll find some surprises. Unlike the boss fights in the core game, the Tatooine add-on makes good use of the camera and provides more interactive settings for the battles. Less impressive is Jabba’s Palace, which seems more like a prison, and the fact that while reaching Mos Eisley should mark the game’s halfway point, it signifies the end.

The Biggest Story
The Rape Game, my take on the RapeLay/Amazon controversy, drew the most views, thanks largely to Leigh Alexander including it in RapeLay: The Response.

The Second Biggest Story
I understand why unique content gets a lot of traffic, but I was surprised that so many people came here looking for information about The Force Unleashed: Jedi Temple DLC. Doesn’t IGN cover stuff like this?

The Story I Wish Had Been Bigger
When a friend spotted Game Couch in a psychology newsletter, I was hoping for another flood of traffic to my interview with Grand Theft Childhood co-author Dr. Cheryl K. Olson. Instead it was just an aftershock from the 2008 piece.

Cool People
Rebecca Mayes, Audio Gamer
Video game reviews in song? I was intrigued. Since then Rebecca has exploded and now Rebecca Mayes Muses is a major part of The Escapist.

Howard Sherman, Interactive Fiction Author
What do ebook readers mean for gaming? I asked Howard Sherman, the madman behind Malinche about Interactive Fiction on the Kindle.

Beth Gallaway, Information Goddess
Beth exists in the intersection between gaming and libraries. Buy her book: Game On!

We Are They
This lead came via Jamie Sanders (VNES). They’re a cool band and I still love the pirate song. Don’t know how the Wii contest ever turned out.