The patterns on this one are just as crazy as the song. There’s something about We Versus the Shark that just gets in my head. I tap out the drum beats constantly at work, to the annoyance of everyone around me. I just can’t stop it sometimes and I’m happy that it’s just as infectious in Beats.

While most geeks are still geeking out over the Diablo/Warcraft news, I’m geeking out over the confirmation that ArtDink and Sony have teamed up once again for a new Aquanaut’s Holiday on PlayStation 3. To be released this September in Japan, this long-overdue sequel looks like much more of a game than the original. Using giant colored blocks that look like Jell-O to simulate building a coral reef while trapped in an underwater capsule always felt a bit limiting, despite having a whole ocean to swim around in.

This new one looks much more playable with a message log (possibly used to get mission requests from islanders) and what appears to be two ways to explore the depths. You’ll probably scuba dive near the surface but you can also take the Dolphin02 submersible for a deep sea spin which features sonar, a map, and other familiar gameplay elements.

Between Afrika, PixelJunk Eden, LittleBigPlanet, Shiki-Tei (the gardening game) and Aquanaut’s Holiday the PS3 is quickly becoming the console with the most interesting games. Well, the most interesting games to me, personally. Let’s see if E3 sways my interests back to the 360 or Wii.

There’s no denying that Nintendo takes their own approach to just about everything they do. Their startlingly unique controllers and their game designs all break from the seemingly logical, yet they go on to be huge sellers and are heavily imitated and copied. There’s also no denying that Wii Fit and its balance board peripheral are the next step in this trend. But unlike the Nintendo 64 controller or the Wii Remote, this is one design philosophy that I’ve had a helluva hard time coming to appreciate.

After all, I first thought to myself, what does Miyamoto know about fitness? Who is Nintendo to tell me how, when, and why to work out? Though several health organizations have shown support for Wii Fit, none were involved in its design, and it shows. For starters the in-game timer that tracks your workout by tossing “time coins” into a piggy bank tends to round up, sometimes by thirty seconds or more.

The lifeless mannequin trainers also spurt out the same dialog every time you play and their instructions are sometimes unclear and out of synch with what’s going on on-screen. They also praise your posture and form during exercises that don’t even require the balance board. Many of the activities plot your movement and give you a score but even swaying well out of the target area only knocks you down a few points. Conversely, I’ve strained to keep my movement as tight as possible only to wind up with a record low score.

The music and visuals are nice, in the same airy style as Wii Sports, but boy do they get monotonous. And since this is a Nintendo offering there’s no option to adjust, change, or even turn the music off. This is a huge flaw in my opinion as you can never play your own music over top without muting the verbal cues and sound effects that help you through the exercises. It’s also impossible to skip the in-between talking and score tallying, collectively wasting several minutes of valuable exercise time each day.

While these can all be considered quirks of the hardware or just niggling complaints, what’s really disheartening is how Wii Fit’s sole basis for health analysis is the outdated Body Mass Index (BMI). Because BMI is simply an equation of your height and weight compared to a social health average, the very use of Wii Fit is liable to skew your results into the overweight category. BMI doesn’t take into account muscle mass, humorously labeling Lance Armstrong as overweight before the 1993 Tour de France. But since the balance board doesn’t have sophisticated fat measuring calipers, BMI and weight is all it can track.

Well, BMI, weight, and the novel gimmick that is your Wii Fit Age. Like the seemingly arbitrary numbers doled out by Dr. Kawashima in the DS’ Brain Age, your Wii Fit Age is some calculation of your daily BMI and a couple of randomly selected balance tests. As unreliable and unpredictable as BMI is, your Wii Fit Age makes it look like the infallible scales of justice in comparison. I’m not thrilled about the fluctuating nature of BMI, the sometimes questionable weight scale, or the pointless Wii Fit Age. I can just see unsuspecting users freaking out when their stats fluctuate like a roller coaster and jumping to drastic, unhealthy means to try and control it.

So why am I still using Wii Fit if it bugs me this much? Shame, mostly. You can play games and work out and log your daily activity, but the basic purpose of Wii Fit is to spend five minutes a day checking in to plot your changing physique. And who can’t find time to do that? Immeasurable shame on you if you outright skip a day! I will admit that all I do now is turn on the Wii, check in via the handy Wii Fit Channel (installable via the game disc), and shut it off. I’ve circumvented all the waiting and repetitive chatter by taking a few photos of the Yoga and Strength screens with my cellphone and doing the poses on my own. The pressure of trying to balance an on-screen cursor seems to contradict the tranquility of doing Yoga so while I don’t get ranked on it, I feel much more at ease once I’m done. Whether it was all the issues I had with Wii Fit that drove me to this routine or if it was Miyamoto’s inspired design I can’t say, but I think that’s what makes Wii Fit an overall success.

It’s not supposed to be a rigid virtual workout. Anyone can get whatever they want out of Wii Fit. You can do every exercise every day, you can stick to your favorites and make a routine of your own, or you can just play balance games. I’m close to my ideal weight but I’ve had a bad knee for a few years so my focus on Yoga is intended to tone the muscles around it, and it’s working. It’s disappointing to see my weight and BMI fluctuate so wildly but I know I’m getting something out of it and that’s what really matters.

Wii Fit offers just enough substance to get you thinking about your health and body with a daily hook that’s simple and quick enough to stick with. If you’re already health conscious it may provide a fun new way to work out and track your progress, but the $90 price tag may not be worth it. For the lethargic Wii owners or healthy-hopefuls out there Wii Fit may be the subtle kick you need to start turning your health around.

Square-Enix put up a not-too-mysterious countdown site consisting of nothing more than what’s shown in the image above. The obvious answer to the mystery the clock presents is that a Chrono Trigger game is coming to the DS. That could be wishful thinking if CTDS weren’t in the url. The only real question now is will it be a remake, or a brand new game? (none of the above, actually) Either way, Chrono Trigger fans are going to be beside themselves with glee until the final reveal is made public.

As far as I’m concerned, this is good news, though I’m not the biggest CT fan in the world. Sure, I paid $75 (yes, $75!) for the SNES game when it came out, and yes, I beat it multiple times, but I never loved the game like I did Finaly Fantasy IV and VI. What I did love was the music. I still listen to the original music to this day. Chrono Trigger had some of the best music of the 16 bit era. Will the new game have the same music, or will it be remixed? It’ll be a treat either way. While most of the world is waiting to see this game, I can’t wait to hear it.

[update]

Square-Enix didn’t wait long to quash the rumor mill on this one. A press release was just issued that details what’s in store for this Chrono Trigger. The main bullet point is that this is not a new game, or even a remake. It’s basically the same as the SNES original, only it’ll take up both screens and have some form of touchscreen functionality. It doesn’t sound like it is getting the deluxe remake treatment that Final Fantasy III and IV did. I imagine the music will remain unchanged, which isn’t a bad thing, but I was hoping for remixed or re-arranged tracks. There’s still a slight bit of hope for it yet. Screenshots and video will inevitably trickle out soon.

Every Tuesday we’ll post a cryptically cropped image from a game. Take a guess, roll over the image for the answer and leave a comment about the game. Did you like it? Hate it? Ever finish it? Purchase a rare mint, boxed copy? C’mon, let’s reminisce.

Not entirely well. He points out that the game was fun once he came to grips with the combat system, but the game ended for him after just 10 hours. After all these delays and hoopla, we get just 10 hours. Granted, the game is, and always was, meant to be played multiple times. You can take your levelled up character through the game several times. The enemies will become more difficult accordingly. The loot-drops will supposedly be better on each iteration, allowing you to build your character up in preparation for the sequels.

It sounds very much like an MMO, or more specifically, it sounds like a Diablo style game. The idea is not to blow through the game and be done with it. You’re meant to play it over and over, constantly grinding away the enemies until your character is a badass.  I’ve known about this aspect of the game and have been prepared for it, but if it only takes 10 hours the first time through, it’s not going to take very many nights of playing to totally max out the characters.

Furthermore, will it even be fun enough to play over and over? Eternal Darkness is a 10-20 hour game as well. It too was meant to be played multiple times. The difference with ED is that it was actually different each time. The story was slightly altered, as were the endings. On top of that, it was just plain fun to play multiple times. It never felt like a chore to me. Will Too Human have the same effect, or will it just feel like 10 hours of “going through the motions” and nothing more? We’ll know for sure come Aug 19.

Despite being in the works for years now, Sony’s Afrika may come along at just the right time. For a while now I’ve been longing for a good exploration game. Not even adventure — which implies some kind of conflict along the way — just a big open world with lots to see, and probably a camera. GameWatch has a new set of screenshots showcasing lots of animals and even post-sunset photo shoots (complete with creepy glowy feline eyes) and it’s got me all longingly excited.

Maybe I’m getting really bad at action games in my old age or maybe I’m just sick of the usual gangland/ninja/fantasy archetypes that gaming has hobbled along on for years. I’m even thinking about paying good Microsoft Points for Sealife Safari on Xbox Live Arcade just to have something different to look at after Grand Theft Auto IV’s drab tones and gritty mobsters.

So here it is, the long overdue and horribly under-produced Episode One of ReGaming My Past. In anticipation of the rebirth of the title I decided to do both old school versions of Bionic Commando and boy, it’s not a pretty picture.

I’ll just say that this song in particular is awesomely 80’s, what I’d call synth-rock, and let you decide if you want to check it out. A little more from the band’s own record label bio: “Pilot Scott Tracy is a brainchild of Scott and Tracy Cox-Stanton, formerly of the Causey Way. It is a flight of fantasy based on the good old days of air travel when stewardesses coddled you with free beverages and fluffed pillows. Their music, described by one critic as “aggressively homo,” is sometimes raw, sometimes pretty, sometimes serious, sometimes silly, a delicious collision of early punk and new wave.”

Clearance at Target. $30 $20 and $35 left to right.

Microsoft’s DRM removal tool for the Xbox 360 is finally out now. It’s a bit involved, and ultimately ends with the user having to redownload every single thing that’s on the 360 hard drive, but hey, it supposedly removes the DRM! According to the FAQ, if your 360 has ever been sent in for repair, the first part of the process has already been completed. You still have to redownload all of your content, unfortunately. For people moving from one 360 to another without having a repair, this is your ticket to freeing up your content. The only other catch is that you can only do this once a year. Make it count!

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I told you last April that Electronic Arts had inked a deal with production music supplier APM to begin providing the service with salable music from its games. Ten discs were initially released with more scheduled each year, ensuring that some day we’d hear a video game tune used completely out of context. Just over a year later and here we are listening to Medal of Honor in a John McCain campaign spot. Christopher Lennertz, the composer, can be as upset as he wants but when you’re working with EA not even your own creations are truly yours.

Surely Queen isn’t thrilled every time a new commercial enlists ‘We Are the Champions’ to peddle their line of sports products so I’m going to view this as another painful baby step in our growth into a more respectable industry.

Another video post for today, this one of some of my favorite wrecks from the original Need for Speed. It’s pretty unplayable these days but the original still has the best crash physics of the entire series (ok, Pro Street may finally have outdone it). Flips and spins and pedestrian takedowns have never been as much fun in a Need for Speed, you could even take down your opponent by causing an unavoidable wreck. Sorry about the low-then-loud-then-low audio quality. Those VHS transfers just aren’t that reliable.