Fat Baby approved.

First of all, they aren’t Chinese; they’re Japanese. I don’t really hold it against the people who were selling it for not knowing the difference — I sure didn’t know the difference — but now that I know what these things really are, I’m being snooty and holding it above anyone who says otherwise. Chinese candy? Please — I’m too cultured and well-rounded to be that ignorant. I have Wikipedia; I’M FROM THE INTERNET. So, educate yourself before we move on. It’s a short article…

Finished learning? Ok, good. Now, I don’t often write about food because I’m not much of a foodie. I mean, look around… articles about Master Blaster, video game items made out of clay, interviews with awesome people… Oh, and all of this just to bring your attention to my struggling foray into entrepreneurship (please buy something!) But I do like writing, and this gives me something to write about. So, please indulge. (and buy something)

In the past few weeks, my friends and I have been taking small, gastronomic journeys — tiny trips into the tastes of cultures not familiar to ourselves. Basically, this just means eating whatever weird shit we can find. For example, I tried BBQ chicken hearts for the first time about 2 weeks ago. It was strange and exciting — the kind of thing I couldn’t keep to myself as I Twittered feverishly in an attempt to garner attention to the fact that I had just engaged in the seemingly macabre act of devouring several, real, actual chicken’s hearta, smothered in barbecue sauce and served up in a small plastic bowl. Was it weird? Oh, yeah… I was left with a lingering sensation of, “What have I done?” for the next day or so. But was it good? It was good. It was very good. Weird, but good; that’s what we’re going for here.

Now, the first thing that kind of threw me off about Botan Rice Candy was the name. Rice is good; I like rice. But rice candy? Well, rice is a cereal grain, and like all grains it’s going to have carbohydrates and sugars in it, so it’s shouldn’t take too much of a stretch of the imagination to see how rice could be turned into a tasty confection, but it was the thin, plastic-like wrapper that envelopes the candy which led to a lot of confusion during the car trip home. You see, we didn’t realize that plastic stuff was edible.

At first, I assumed I had stumbled into some kind of Yo, Dog reference in candy form. I mean, a wrapper in a wrapper? Except, I don’t like wrappers, so putting a wrapper in a wrapper was the most annoying thing you could do to me. The worst part was that the wrapper was hopelessly stuck to the candy. Try as I might, I couldn’t free the treat from it’s transparent prison without ripping it to shreds and leaving little bits and pieces behind. I just wanted the damn candy; who thought up this kind of torture? Is this the kind of candy you give to children who are bad? “Well, you didn’t finish your homework, so your brother and sister are getting Tootsie Rolls, which only have one, easily removable wrapper; but you’re getting Botan Rice Candy. Have fun trying to eat the candy with all this plastic shit stuck to it! You’ll especially enjoy yourself later when it gets all tangled up in your intestines! Bet you’ll never forget to finish your homework again!” Except, no — you eat the plastic; it’s made from rice! It’s perfectly harmless! Somehow, those crafty confectionary geniuses figured out how to make a thin, transparent film out of rice and wrapped the candy in it. Note: the outer layer IS plastic; you don’t eat that bit. It’s the clear stuff inside that’s fair game. Crazy, right?

Of course, all of this confusion might have easily been avoided if I’d chosen to read the box:

This probably should have been printed on the OUTSIDE of the box.

Well, to be fair, they put the instructions on the inside, which is usually where you’ll find bizarre, useless information, like where the box was made, FDA warnings or even anti-drug PSAs. How was I supposed to know?

Speaking of confusing information, this is supposed to be a dog:

Yo, dog, this weird-looking dog looks weird, yo.

See? I have no idea… I thought that was supposed to be a cat. I wander through my life in a self-imposed, semi-concious state which allows me to glide smoothly across the endless potholes and speed bumps along the way. Only when taking the time to try some new kind of candy do I come down, out of my haze.

Botan Rice Candy is pretty good, but this isn’t anything that generations of children haven’t already known. It has a chewy texture that lasts for a while without dissolving right away. The flavor isn’t anything special — a sort of nondescript citrus flavor that lingers a while. Adding to the fun is the free sticker that comes inside, almost worth the price of admission all by itself.

WHY, GOD?? WHYYYYY??!!?!?!

The sticker, asking the humble question, “Why?” is probably the most appropriate question you could be asking yourself, right now. As in, “Why am I eating plastic? WHY, GOD? WHY? Who thought this was a good idea? WHY?” Some questions just weren’t meant to be answered.

Got some exotic candy you think I should try? Care to explain that fat baby picture? Or maybe you just want to chastise me for writing about candy instead of video games. Have at me in the comments. I’ve got nothing better to do.

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• Bacon Candy from The Bacon Vixen (bacontoday.com)

The name Deep Fighter really doesn’t have that spark that tells you, “Here lies a great game.” And because I only had the disc, I didn’t have any cover art or screenshots to go on as to what was waiting for me. I figured it was going to be another top down, 2D shooter, but this time with 3D rendered graphics or some other gimmick designed to keep the genre fresh. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised. Dumb name aside, the game has you piloting a submarine, exploring the ocean’s floor as you mine Thorium and defend a submerged city from a wild bunch known as “The Shadowkin.” It’s a lot like Wing Commander, but under water.

Right, so, as we get a little more in depth, the plot unfolds over the course of about 20 missions or so. Each mission briefing is presented in the form of gloriously terrible full-motion videos featuring live actors. It’s as awful a you might imagine. No, wait; it’s worse. One of the first people you’ll meet is the admiral, who looks like “Shamwow!” Vince, minus the hooker attack, but sounding like Robin Leach. He announces that recent seismic activity is wreaking havoc on the mining operation and that you’ll have to go out and gather Thorium yourselves. The Thorium, a radioactive, crystalline material, is badly needed so that the engineers can finish a mothership that will carry everyone to safety, far away from the volcano they somehow missed while building this great, underwater city. The next person you’ll meet is Razz, who comes off as a bit of a Debbie Downer with her first line, “Without the mothership we have no future!” She almost sounds like she’s being sarcastic, but later, when Admiral Vince teams you up, she practically jumps out of her seat and demands to be made point guard, establishing her role as teacher’s pet. Don’t worry, though; she’s a lot less annoying in the future. No, no; I’m lying. She gets MUCH more annoying.

You're gonna love my nuts!

After mining Thorazine — I’m sorry, Thorium — the second mission you undertake is to escort a group of female fish to a breeding ground to replenish a stock that recently died off. Yes, seriously. As if picking up junk off the ocean floor wasn’t low enough, now you get to dabble in animal husbandry as you attempt to locate, tranquilize and tow a male fish to the harem. As bizarre as it sounds, let’s just be thankful that’s as far as it goes. Once you’re done pimping out fishes, it’s almost time to start shooting things!

Oh, Razz! You're so... razzical!

The rest of the game involves completing tasks that escalate in danger as the game progresses. Deep Fighter does feature a fair level of diversity, but, of course, diversity usually means one or two escort missions, a fetch quest and getting hopelessly lost in deep, dark caverns. And, yeah, that’s pretty much everything that happens. You also get to fight a giant water bug!

The last thing I really need to harp on are the graphics, which are above average for a Dreamcast game, but suffer from a disturbingly shallow draw distance. Not since Turok on the Nintendo 64 have I seen such a terrible draw distance, but them’s the breaks. In a way, it does make sense since this is all happening in the ocean, and the light diffusion makes for a great effect, but the game also has sunlight/moonlight cycles which means that not only is your visibility severely reduced, but it also gets very dark when the sun’s not out. Was having a sunlight cycle really necessary? I mean, it gets REALLY hard to see down there at night!

Deep Fighter is not a bad game! I was kind of amazed to find reviews from back in the day to be mostly positive. GameSpot, in particular, gave it an 8.1, which I think was a bit high. However, the diversity of the missions, the plot, the premise, the excellent gameplay and setting all had me hooked until the very end. It’s not perfect, but I’ve played much, much worse. So, while there may be plenty of fish in the ocean, don’t let this be the one that got away!

For those of you who read this far, here’s a video of the first mission briefing:

Super Mushroom

It will be lovingly nestled within a box, stuffed full of packing materials and sent off to you — wherever you may be. In fact, I’ve already sold one off! It’s kind of odd to look up at my shelf and realize I have one less pair of eyes staring at me; where there used to be three, only two remain. Hopefully, its new owner will give it a good home. Until then, I’ll just have to make more!

The mushroom that put the Super in Super Mario Bros.

Ok, so, I might have actually found it “growing” in my studio, and it might actually be made out of clay. But who cares about details? Speaking of details, this shroom stands 2 1/2 inches tall and weighs only 4.4 ounces. Good things do come in small packages.

So, are you feeling down, feeling small? Would you rather feel super, and tall?
This humble ‘shroom would hardly call itself super, but I will!

One bite of this fungus will make you humongous!
Before the blink of your eyes you’ll be twice your size.

Direct from the Mushroom Kingdom, this Super Mushroom is just what you need for breaking bricks with your fists and gaining enough strength to survive one direct attack on your person from goombas, koopa troopas and various other enemies. Mario was just another plumber from Brooklyn before he got his hands on one of these; think about what it could do for you. Take a bite, save the princess; you know you want to.

Warning: I would not actually eat this “mushroom” if I were you. Although made of non-toxic materials, it would be very bad for you and utterly devastating to the mushroom.

When it came to finding inspiration for a shape or design I wanted to work on, I didn’t have to look very far. One of the first objects I thought would lend itself well to the shape of a mug was “Bullet Bill,” a character from the world of the Super Mario Bros. Given his simple, easily recognizable shape, I didn’t think it would be too difficult for a first attempt at really making something.

Just to refresh your memory, here’s what Bullet Bill looks like:

Bullet Bill reference

Now, getting around that pointy shaped nose wasn’t going to be easy. I wondered about turning the thing upside down, but decided it would be awkward to drink out of his face, so I went with my first instinct and left him face down. Now it was just up to actually making the thing.

I started by building the usual mug shape, spreading it out and pulling the walls up as I’d been practicing. Unfortunately, I only had about a pound and a half of clay left to work with and I still wasn’t very good at gaining height without the walls ripping apart or collapsing. Eventually, I decided to compromise. The clay is self-drying and isn’t meant to be fired, so anything I made couldn’t be used to drink out of or eat off of. Even if it was, I don’t have access to a kiln. Anything I make has to be for decoration, only. So, while the cup is rather small, at least it can serve as a guide for future attempts. What I eventually ended up with looked like this:

Exterior

Interior view

As you can tell from that angle I goofed on the lip a little. Just have to keep practicing…

Meanwhile, after letting it dry several hours, I was able to trim the foot down and smooth out the sides to reinforce the bullet shape I was going for:

Foot trimmed, sides shaped and smoothed

Then it was time to paint it. Again, I don’t have the proper glazes or a kiln to fire them so I went with some hobby/craft paint. I went for the obvious metallic black paint for the interior and exterior:

Metallic black, all purpose hobby/craft paint

Painted interior, same as exterior

Finally, after applying several coats, it was time to paint the face:

Mostly finished, needs touching up

In this picture it’s not quite finished. I had to touch the face up a few times before I was really happy with the result, but this is how it looks, more or less.

And here’s how it looks sitting on a table:

Finished, sitting down

I have a few more projects drying and waiting to be painted. I still can’t properly fire mugs to be used for drinking but I’m working on decorative items I’m interested in selling in the store. Maybe with a bit more practice I’ll be confident enough in the quality of my work to put them out there. Until then, I’m just having a lot of fun and getting a real kick out of the fact that I made this all by myself. Let me know what you think in the comments. Any other characters you’d like to see?

This is the episode that changes everything. A host’s secrets may be revealed and the results could be deadly. Will they be able to make it out alive?
All of your questions will be answered — even the really dumb ones you should have been able to figure out for yourself. (Seriously, what’s wrong with you? Every morning you make ludicrous speculations about the most meaningless things when the answer is right in front of you. Just get your cup of coffee and go back to your cubicle; stop annoying everyone else in the office!)

GoozCast: Episode 29

This time, it’s personal.

Use only as directed. Please drink responsibly. If erection lasts more than 4 hours, please see a doctor. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Don’t eat the daisies. Don’t feed the mogwai after midnight. And, above all else, REMEMBER THE ALAMO

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• Duke Nukem Forever Finally Gets Release Date (gamesareevil.com)

We used to have these things called “1-900″ phone numbers. You could get advice from your psychic friends, have a heart-to-heart with Freddy Krueger or get video game tips from “the pros.” I wasn’t allowed to watch Freddy Krueger, and, even at that age, I knew psychics were bogus, so I went straight for the game tips.

It turns out the game tips line was equally bogus. I assumed there was going to be an actual “pro” on the other end who was going to help me out with my video game, but there wasn’t — it was just a bunch of mumbling, chatterbox kids talking about how they got the oak stake in Castlevania 2, or whatever. I listened for a few minutes and then hung up the phone. Did I do something wrong? Where was “the pro?” I called again, but I got the same result. I didn’t even really have a question, I just wanted to talk about video games. Well, about a month later, the phone bill came. My dad wasn’t too happy when I told him it was the baby-sitter who was making all calls to “1-900″ numbers. I told the baby-sitter not to, but she just wouldn’t listen!

The point of this story is: kids are dumb. Like when you tell your sister there’s a special warp zone in one of the bottomless pits of world 1-1 in Super Mario Bros., but you can’t remember which one, so she’s going to have to jump down each one to investigate. You’d do it yourself, of course, but you passed that level and completely forgot about the warp zone. You can actually get away with this a couple times before your siblings find out, especially if you show them where the hidden 1-UP mushroom is on that level. Once they see that block pop out of nowhere and the green mushroom goes running across the bottom of the screen, they’ll believe anything.

Unfortunately, kids haven’t gotten much smarter in the last 20 years, they’ve just gotten a lot more efficient at making poor decisions. For example, my poor decision resulted in an extra $20 in charges (give or take) being tacked on to the end of the phone bill. Even in 1980s dollars, that’s nothing compared to a boy in the UK who spent £900 on FarmVille which, in American dollars, is about $1,383. Ouch!

The kid blew it all on virtual items for the extremely popular Facebook game FarmVille according to The Guardian Co.Uk.

Neither Zynga, the game’s creators, nor Facebook are going to return the money, and that’s that. The mother wishes to remain anonymous but hopes that others learn from this and take action by, presumably, hiding their credit cards in a better place.

Hey, if spending money on virtual stuff for your virtual farm floats your boat, more power to you. Just remember, kids: those virtual things cost real money. Oh, and there really is a warp world in the bottom of one of the pits on World 1-1 of Super Mario Bros., you just have to make sure you’re pointing backwards and heading in at the right angle. Trust me.

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Gary Vincent, President of the American Classic Arcade Museum

After finally tracking down the man himself, we head out to a nice, quiet (read: extremely busy and loud) hallway to chat about old arcade games. As I think about appropriate questions to ask, I decide to go back to the beginning and ask, “When did this all start?”

“The arcade museum started in September 1998. It was an idea I had as a long time employee at Funspot in New Hampshire. I had started there in summer of ’81 during the whole boom of video games, and I noticed later on as I had been working there that there were fewer and fewer places that had classic games left, and thats why in the fall of ’98 I had mentioned to the owner of Funspot, ‘I’m not seeing any place left where people can go and play games because, either games were thrown in landfills, destroyed, parted out, or they had wound up in private collections. But the average game player, they don’t know someone with a game collection. They’re not gonna be able to play these. Do you mind if I start, like, sort of a museum project?’ And he said, ‘Yeah! That sounds like a good idea.’ And that’s how it all started. And then in 2002 we incorporated the museum and applied for and recieved our 501(c)(3) non-profit status.

“I started in the business because I was a game player. In the summer of ’81 the folks at Funspot were short handed. They said, ‘Can you maybe fill in 3 or 4 weeks at the end of the summer to help out?’ I was like, ‘Sure!’ That was 1981. It’s still going!”

The museum lies on the third floor of Funspot, which has been called The World’s Largest Arcade by Guinness, with 250 video arcade machines and 25 pinball machines. It’s the place where Steve Wiebe and Billy Mitchell did battle in The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. Their oldest video arcade machine is a Nutting Associates Computer Space, “the one that came in the curved fiberglass cabinet,” as Vincent puts it, but they’ve also got a Stop ‘N’ Go pinball machine from the 1950s.

Vincent elaborates on their oldest pinball machine: “It’s a static display. The machine does work but it’s from the 1950s and the problem is, our concern is it’s not going to be conducive to being shaken around like people want to do nowadays. It’s got a fragile ball-lift system, where everyone is used to putting a coin in and pressing start and the ball pops up, they don’t on the old machines — you actually have to push a lever to get the ball up, then pull the plunger. So, we just leave it out as a static display.”

Pong

But the games in the museum aren’t just for show. I ask if anyone can play the games on display. Vincent enthusiastically responds, “Oh, yeah! That’s the whole purpose! We’re dedicated to preserving and playing the games, you know? So, people can actually come in and experience it. It’s a little bit of, we get the old purists who sometimes say, ‘You know, this game’s not a hundred percent perfect. I noticed that, you know, maybe one piece of side art’s missing,’ or this one may not have the original joystick, or it has some microswitch instead of a leaf. And it’s one of those things where you kinda have to draw a line somewhere. Do you wanna spend a sum of money preserving or restoring something back to new condition and then be sitting there, worrying, every single time somebody walks up to it that something’s gonna get scratched, or whatever? So, while all the games are in good to excellent condition — you know, some of them are near perfect — it’s just like I said, it’s a tough thing. You gotta balance what’s important: people being able to play games or trying to put things behind a velvet rope.”

“So, your goal isn’t to restore them with only original parts? Like, there are people who buy an old car and will fix it up and want everything original, and then there are people who will throw on newly fabricated parts that aren’t original but they’ll make the car look the way it was supposed to.”

“Oh, sure. Yeah, it’s more of a preservation, more so than, like, restoring things to collector’s condition.”

“As long as it works?”

“Works, and looks nice. We’re not gonna put something out on the floor that’s all rusty or somebody’s carved up the side of it. We do go for as good a condition as we can get but still not have to stand there, biting your fingernails the whole time that somebody’s gonna breathe on it.”

Keeping the games in working condition, however, can be a full-time job as, during the Expo, several games did break down. A Flash pinball, for example, had some problem with one of the slingshots (a.k.a. kickers) the night before this interview, and the table had to be lifted. A crowd of people gathered ’round to watch one of the staff open it up, and as we stood there in muted silence, it almost felt like we were standing on holy ground. We peered into the gaping maw of a world few people had ever seen — a world that is becoming increasingly rare. Curious eyes pored over the complex arrangement of the machine’s guts with its large, late ’70s era electronic components, wires and other parts hanging out, completely exposed. I didn’t want to get in the technician’s way, but I just had to see this thing for myself; I couldn’t pull myself away.

The musty smell of the old wood flooded my nostrils. One of the onlookers commented, “That’s a good smell. That brings back so many memories of working on pinball machines with my dad. Everyone of them has its own smell, too. I love that smell.” It made me think that everyone has a story, everyone has a memory connected to these old games. The sights, the sounds and, in this case, the smells can unlock and bring back so much of our past that may have been forgotten for years. As I stood there, watching, I found that I also loved that smell.

Before long, the table was back in commission and ready for the line of players, eager to play another round.

Buck Rogers

“A lot of the stuff — thankfully, due to the collectors market — a lot of people are getting into remanufacturing game pieces aftermarket. We’re noticing that with pinball there’s always a problem with the old Bally MPU boards. The NiCd batteries would eat them up, rot them away until the board wouldn’t work. The aftermarket boards being made now work just great, because now you’re putting in new components.”

“They might even be manufactured to better standards?”

“Yeah, and it’s obviously going to give you a lot more reliability than fixing something that’s 30 years old.”

“I’m just imagining all those old transistors and obscure parts that must be a real bear to try and find.”

“It’s funny that in order to preserve old technology you look to new technology. I remember back in ’87, ’88, we’d have games break down — there’s no Internet! You’d call up your supplier and, if they didn’t have the part, what would you do? You were done. You can’t fix the game; they don’t make the part. Where, now, you get on the Internet. Craigslist, eBay, forums, people buying and selling, “Hey look! I found the piece I need!”

Craigslist and eBay — how good those sites have been to all of us in the interests of classic gaming. But what about the next generation of gamers, I wondered? What do they think of all this? “What’s the age group of people who come in to the museum?” I asked.

“We get a good variety of people — mainly a male demographic. Probably, I would say mid-twenties to fifties.”

Sweetums playing Buck Rogers: Planet of Zoom

“It’s funny. We do get some kids, because usually it’ll be the parents will bring them in and say, ‘Hey, look! These are the games I played when I was your age. Here, let me show you something on the game,’ where it’s usually the kid at home showing dad all the moves on his Xbox.”

“I was just in the classic console room and this guy was asking, ‘How do you get the game out of the Nintendo?’ He said the last time he played an NES was when he was 4 years old.”

Gary clearly identifies with this feeling as he laughs, “Sure!”

“I grew up with an NES, and I still play it almost every day, so of course I know how, but I’m staring at him and wondering, ‘How do you not know?’, right?”

“Yup, yup!”

“So, do you get a lot of this, I guess I want to call it ‘generation gap’ or ‘age shock,’ where you have these kids who look at these things with these buttons and these mechanical parts and it just blows their minds?”

Spy Hunter pinball

“The thing I love about pinball, though, is that they go back to the 1800s, almost, so it’s not just when I was a kid or when my dad was my age, it was when my grandfather was a kid. And they haven’t really changed a lot over the years. So, like, where video games have changed radically, pinball kinda stays the same.”

“Pinball is wonderful, we all love pinball. It is just that, pinball is all moving parts. Everything. You’re taking a metal ball and smacking it into everything on the playfield, so not only is there electronic wear and tear, you’ve got physical wear and tear.”

“It changes the game every time you play it, too.”

“Yeah! Yeah, and it’s a constant, non-stop thing.”

“It’s kind of like in the realm of vinyl collecting where you want to listen to this old record but at the same time, every time you play it, you’re kind of destroying it a little more.”

“Yeah, you’re taking and degrading the quality a little more each time. That’s a good analogy! It’s easier to preserve video arcade games because there are less moving parts than in pinball. I mean, I would love… We’ve got probably 40 pins in storage, but at some point you’ve gotta be realistic and say, ‘I don’t have the abilities or means — at this time — to maintain them. We’re not gonna make that effort until we can do it right.’”

The founders of General Computer Company standing in front of some of the machines they created. Gary Vincent at right.

Except for the parts where he’s tracking down obsolete components and rebuilding machines, managing an entire non-profit organization or driving a 22′ truck full of fragile arcade machines through busy, Boston traffic to set up at an Expo where, potentially, 60,000 gamers are going to be banging on them, Gary Vincent probably has one of the coolest jobs in the world, and I think he knows it. But maybe he likes those aspects of it, too? If the smile says anything, it’s that Gary Vincent really loves old arcade games.

ACAM gladly accepts donations, and Funspot is open year-round. I’m planning on making a trip there myself, some day, but I’d love to hear from people who have been there. What do you think of Funspot? What do you think of ACAM? Let me know in the comments!

DJ Cutman

There aren’t a lot of folks around at the moment, just a bunch of gamers lounging on Sumo chairs — one girl appears to be asleep. A small group of gamers are playing Settlers of Catan while most are on their DSs, PSPs and whatever else. Everyone is chilling out, listening to the music and having a good time. I decide this is the perfect time to do an interview as I sit down on the floor next to Cutman and start asking questions.

“So what do you?” I ask.

“I am a video game and chiptune DJ,” he says. “I play music made from video games or made out of video games.”

“What’s your favorite game to take samples from?” I ask.

“I’m a big fan of Mega Man — being DJ Cutman.” I admit I felt stupid asking a guy dressed like a boss from Mega Man what his favorite game was, but you never know — maybe he was more of a Pac-Man guy? He continues, “The compositions are great! The first 6 games? I could listen to that any time. I love it!”

“Which Mega Man is your favorite?”

“I think Mega Man 2 or 3.”

“Yeah?”

“3′s got a special place in my heart. You can charge now, your dog looks cool…”

I shake my head and laugh, “I can never remember which one is which.”

“It’s like a big, blue blur,” he says, and we both laugh.

“Yeah, like, from 1 straight on to, what, 10, now?”

“Yeah, yeah! I just got 10; I haven’t beat it yet. I was so stoked when 9 came out, I was like, just searching old school, and then sorta started playing this sort of music just for me because I wanted to hear like, you know, old stuff with like, high-end production and like, cool beats and stuff. And people just started lovin’ it, so I’m just out here right now, just playing on my little speakers. You know? Gettin’ the music out there!”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“Been doing this for only about three months.”

“How much money have you invested in it? Like, I can you see you’ve got the computer set up and a [Korg] Kaoss Pad and…”

“Well, I work in a recording studio, so some of this gear isn’t totally mine… but the studio’s letting me borrow it just to sorta get a feel around here. The Kaoss Pad is mine. But if someone wanted to get a situation like this set up, I’d say about five, six hundred dollars. I got a MBox 2 for recording and the Kaoss Pad for effects. Got my monitor speakers for mixing and playing out and the laptop computer.”

“Do you do this on stage?”

“I’ve played a few gigs up in New York — a few little DJ sets, short stuff. Some house parties and little openers and stuff like that, but I haven’t ever played to a big stage. I played something like this at Magfest. I was at the SickDamage.com Death Panel, which was a panel discussion that they changed into a big dance party. And that was one of the first places I performed as DJ Cutman, throwing down a little bit of stuff. And I got a good response — people were enjoying it; people were having a good time.
After I got back to New York I sorta gathered all my stuff and thought about what exactly do I need to bring with me to do this — play it out. I was waiting to get booked places, I was waiting to get booked here at PAX. I wasn’t hearing back; people would not call me back. They would say something and do something else, and I just wanted to get the music out, so I thought, what would be the best way to do that? Take some speakers and the computer I’m making it on and just go out. So, at PAX, the first thing I did was this thing right here.”

“How long have you been here, tonight?”

“About 2 1/2 hours.”

“Oh, yeah? No one’s given you any problems about it yet?”

He shakes his head and smiles, “No! All the of the Enforcers are about the coolest dang people in the world! They’re rockin’ out, like, YEAH!”

“That’s really cool; they’re great people.”

“I heard that I shouldn’t go down by the strategy games because those kids need their focus.”

“Yeah, it’s all that math and stuff…” we laugh. “So, where do you get your ideas?”

“THE GAMES, man!” he says, smiling.

“Well, I mean, who influences you?

“I always dug the old Mega Man music, but I heard a lot of remix stuff and OCRemix — the OverClock Remix — for like, years now. I’ve always loved video game music. I feel good when I’m playing games, I just listen to the music to feel good, too, and all the remixes are so sweet, people have recomposed and reworked and recreated all these classic themes and stuff, you know? I’ve always loved that. I’ve tried a few myself, but it takes a lot of time to get a really good composition and stuff that I’d actually be really happy with. But I just really wish that someone would just take the original, delicious chip music that I love from the game and just put a phat beat behind it, put a bassline, make it groove and make me something that I can listen to without feeling kinda guilty about it. Not that I don’t walk around listening to Mega Man 1 through 6 on my iPod.” I nod in agreement — I’ve got a few of the Mega Man soundtracks on my iPod, too.

“So, do you have a parting message or philosophy to live by?”

“If you like it, do it. That’s what I’m doing!”

And he does it well. On the laptop, you can see each track, each loop and sample running. The Kaoss Pad looks like a giant mouse pad with glowing red squares, and by placing his fingers on it and sliding them around, he can stop the music, suspend it, pull it back and let it go. He can adjust filters and manipulate the sound — slow it down, speed it up, dull it to a whisper or powerfully surge it out of the speakers. He makes it look so easy…

A steady stream of people approach him to check out his setup, take a look at his costume, grab a card and listen to the music. Our interview barely finishes when a crowd of people come walking down the hallway — the last of the live panels has let out. They begin to crowd around and, for a moment, it’s like a junior high school dance — everyone just standing around, not sure what to do. Suddenly, one brave soul — a girl in jeans and grey t-shirt — steps out of the crowd and starts dancing. Before long, she’s joined by another, then several more. As the music pumps, the dance party goes full tilt. An impromptu rave has broken out on the third floor of the convention center. Men, women, people in costumes, people taking pictures and shooting video — everyone is having a good time. It’s one of those moments that just happens, and it’s exactly why we love PAX.

Here’s a clip I shot on my camera. Enjoy! And be sure check out DJ Cutman’s website.

The show floor has been exceptionally crowded, and today isn’t even the “busy” day. I have a hell of a time getting from one end to the other and can’t even begin to comprehend everything I’m seeing. Some cosplayers here and there, people handing out free stuff, NVIDIA and ATI duking it out over who can hook up more displays to their computers (NVIDIA actually one-ups ATI by making their multi-displays… wait for it… 3D!). Meanwhile, one developer in the back of the room is showing off real guitars with colored frets, hoping to create a Guitar Hero-like game that actually teaches you how to play guitar. Unfortunately, it’s not hooked up to anything, so who knows if it’s just vapor ware or if this thing can actually do what they say it will.

The vibe is definitely different here, but it depends on what you bring to the party as far as the experience you’re going to have. If you’re willing to take a passive course and accept what comes your way, you’ll probably have a great time. That said, if you do a little bit of planing before heading into the fray, it can go a long way towards making sure you see some really cool stuff.

One of the best things I’ve done today, and something I feel has been greatly missed at previous PAXes is the classic arcade room, filled with some pretty obscure games and pinball machines — all free to play. The feeling in the room was absolutely positive. So much joy and nostalgia going on, almost everyone had their own story. At one point, the Flash pinball broke down. When one of the vendors opened it up to fix it, I was one of a few who stood around to take a whiff of that authentic, old arcade smell. A guy standing next to me related how many memories of his dad it brought back because they had a pinball machine growing up. I know exactly what he’s talking about. Crowds grew around a few machines and cheers, as well as shouts of anguish, could be heard all over the room. We watched a guy beat Dragon’s Lair three times last night, and the roof tore off the place every single time he slew the dragon. Even if the rest of my PAX experience is terrible, this one memory will endure.

Capping off the evening were the concerts. I was only able to catch Metroid Metal and MC Frontalot, but that was enough. Overall, day one has been a lot of fun and I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.

And now, PICTURES!