Was I disappointed in the actual fights I watched? No. Was I disappointed in the results of the fights I watched? Abso-fucking-lutely.

If you were able to catch the Bisping vs. Hamill fight, then you were probably impressed with how exciting it was. I was surprised with how much better Matt Hamill has gotten with his stand-up. Before the fight, I was a fan of both fighters. After the fight, I was just a fan of Hamill.

Let me explain. Hamill kicked Michael Bisping’s ass up and down the octagon. He bloodied Bisping’s face all to hell in the first minute of the fight. He took Bisping down at will in all three rounds. He landed more punches in all three rounds. He inflicted more damage in all three rounds. Guess who won? Michael Bisping by split decision. A fucking farce. We all sat there in front of the television slack-jawed. We couldn’t believe it. Did the judges watch the same fight we did?

It was surreal to watch Michael Bisping talk shit about being the real Ultimate Fighter champion with his face all swollen and bashed in, and then turn around and watch a sullen Matt Hamill, with the only evidence he was in a fight being a little cut above his nose, talk about how “I thought I won, but he beat me fair and square”.

This is exactly why I don’t ever watch boxing. The subjective, crooked-behind-the-scenes judging is everything that’s wrong with boxing, and now it’s found its way into the UFC. If Dana White doesn’t do something about this, I might have to start boycotting the UFC. I’ve never seen such an obvious decision go the wrong way. Sure, close fights are going to be called one way that some fans may not like. But this fight WASN’T EVEN CLOSE.

I don’t care what anyone says about “the official judging rules”, and that Bisping won because he had “better technique” and “better looking punches”. Better technique and better looking punches don’t amount to shit when you get thrown around the octagon by a deaf man-beast and have your face pulverized by “unorthodox punches”.

Apparently, Dana White thinks a rematch is a no-brainer. Which is good by itself, but it’s a lame consolation in my eyes.

On the flip side, the Quinton Jackson vs. Dan Henderson fight was great. I couldn’t believe both fighters went all five rounds. Jackson won by unanimous decision, and that one was even closer than the Bisping-Hamill fight, although I agree with the judges.

I think a real consolation prize for the fans would be Dana White to setting up a fight for Michael Bisping against either Quinton Jackson or Dan Henderson. Then we could all REALLY see him get his face smashed in.

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“The answer may stink, but eating or drinking anything gives us gas. In fact, it’s normal to fart up to half of a gallon (1.9 liters), or about 15 to 20 toots worth of gas, each day.”

15 to 20 toots worth of gas each day? How much gas, exactly, makes up your average “toot”? Are we talking “five-second cushion burner”, “long slow quiet release”, or more along the lines of “short frog croak”? Seems to me, all those toots are comprised of quite different volumes of gas.

If you’re like me, and I sincerely hope you’re not, then you might be the kind of person who squeezes out 15-20 “five-second cushion burners” per day. Which means I need to Febreeze my office seat cushion about once a week.

According to the article, ass gas is produced by intestinal bacteria that do the following:

“In the process of converting our meals into useful nutrients, these food-munching microbes produce a smelly by-product of hydrogen sulfide gas—the same stench that emanates from rotten eggs.”

But that doesn’t explain why my bologna farts actually smell like bologna.

And the only food that doesn’t give you gas: Rice.  Which is great for the Asian countries, as long as they’d stop producing children’s jewelry with lead in it and killing our animals with poison pet food.

Link [via Digg]

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If you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll remember that I started blogging on a Blogger domain. That just got too damn frustrating, so I ended up purchasing a domain and switching to Wordpress. So far, I’m glad I dropped the ol’ blogspot domain.

Here are just a few of the notable milestones from the past two years:

• 200,770 unique visitors
• 318,127 page views
• 295 posts
• 2,566 comments
• 51,061 blocked spam comments thanks to Akismet
• 3 mistaken posts about diaper fetishes - [Diaper Post #1] [Diaper Post #2] [Diaper Post #3]
• 2 extremely popular posts on ass/booty - [Booty Post #1] [Booty Post #2]
• 2 posts showcasing the idiots who stole a video camera from my work - [bitch session
• etc, etc, etc…

Of course, they go on and on. But a two year anniversary post wouldn’t be complete without a thorough look back on how G&H has grown up. Through the magic of internet caches, you will now get the pleasure of reliving the past two years with Gangstas & Hugs.

Plenty of chronological screen shots after the jump!

November 11, 2005 -Not sure where I was going with this template, but I made it while I was still using Blogger. Notice the great ‘Mojo’ graphic in the top left… gold tooth and all. Looks like I was into bitching about web standards and other crap back then. What the hell is funny about that? And what was up with that Tag Box in the right sidebar? That thing was just annoying.

November 24, 2005 - I think this is still using a Blogger template, but the colors are all changed. Just look at how damn busy the page is. It’s like a smurf sharted text boxes all over the screen. Why did I ever think people would take a look at this page and stick around to read? It wasn’t the worst looking blog design I’ve ever seen, but I wouldn’t exactly call it “good”.

December 31, 2005 - Time for the sexy ads to make an appearance in the sidebar. The over all look was starting to take the shape of the current design. I think I actually started shying away from political posts around this time, and began focusing more on humor. Or lack thereof. I do miss seeing those scantily clad babes every time I loaded the site. Maybe I’ll bring those back, just for nostalgic reasons.

May 12, 2006 - This was during my “social web” phase, where I started an account on every Web 2.0 site I could find, and then linked to them on G&H. Bleh. No thanks. I prefer to have a modicum of privacy in my personal life now and again. Myspace is crap, and the thought of using Twitter and Facebook so my friends can keep tabs on what I’m doing 24 hours a day is scary to me. But look, now you can search at the top of the page! And the blogroll is above the fold again!

September 1, 2006 - This is the beginning of the simpler 2-column layout. I thought this was much easier to read than the 3-column mumbo jumbo. The sidebar still needed some work, but at least the posts were easy to see and read right away. I still get a kick out of watching that OK Go video, although I think the pictured post started a run of posting other people’s videos that hasn’t quite died down yet.

November 26, 2006 - Messing around with the sidebar again, and changing around the menu buttons in the header. I still don’t know why I opted to go with that diagonal hashing as a background for the sidebar. Guess that was my attempt at a new Web 2.0 design. At least the diaper fetish freaks still like me. If only I could surmise why

May 24, 2007 - Started messing around with the sidebar junk again. At least the blue diagonal hashing was gone. Man, the more I see them, the more I hate those little blue background headers for the sidebar text boxes. God those were annoying. Why didn’t anyone tell me? I even tried to get away with an Adsense ad in the to right of the banner. Lame. I’ll go ahead and chalk that up to me ignoring the blog for weeks at a time. Hey, cut me some slack. I was finishing up my last semester of grad school bitches!

August 29, 2007 - Now isn’t that better? The most straight forward Wordpress theme yet. Sure, there are a couple ads above the fold, but at least their not super ugly or all over the place. Now that I look back on all the time I spent trying to design a decent blog template, I realize I should have gone ahead and paid a real designer to make me one. Hell, I still might do that. Just as soon as I quit my job and start blogging full-time.

Here’s to another two years! Oh, and a quick congratulations to The Phoenix who also recently celebrated his two year anniversary.

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If you didn’t find that funny, then you need to get yourself a sense of humor. Either that, or you hate pictures of cats. Which I could totally understand if these pictures weren’t funny, and were more along the lines of: “These are my very cute cats, who number fourteen at the moment. I live with them in my one bedroom apartment on the bad side of town. Tinkerbell is my favorite because she licks my wounds when the other cats get excited and scratch me. Aren’t they cute?”

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I can't believe I missed this entire SNL episode when Peyton Manning hosted. Oh well, at least there's Youtube. Some of my favorite quotes:

"Everybody bring it back in. Except for you, I can't even look at you."

"Go sit in the port-a-potty for 20 minutes!"

"Cops! Cops! Every man for himself!"

"I would kill a snitch. Now, I'm not sayin' I have. I'm not sayin' I haven't... you know what I mean."

Too bad that bastard plays for the Indianapolis Colts. I might actually start to like him.

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xkcd is one of my favorite web comics, and this one in particular is no exception. If you aren’t a fan yet, I highly recommend checking out the archives. You’ll be hooked in no time.

You may also have noticed random xkcd comics showing up in the Gangstas and Hugs feed, via del.icio.us. Imagine what else you might be missing by not subscribing!

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but when I first found out about Power Rangers, there were only five of those jackasses. If that’s the case, how come I saw twenty of those scrotum-cheese goobers running around on the screen? How can there be that many now? Do kids with crappy Lycra costumes and lolly-pop helmets multiply that fast?

An what the hell is up with the plot? Or lack of one? From the part of the show I saw, I figured out there was a Power Ranger base where injured Power Rangers go have sex and recuperate. That’s also the same place they manufacture their robots that transform from sultry sex-pots into giant foam weapons spray-painted to look like Voltron.

The next part of the episode I was able to decipher was that all the Power Ranger enemies are required to be made of special effects foam. That and they either have space-age blue buck teeth or a spinning Christmas light head like the robot from Lost in Space that said “Danger, Danger Will Robinson!”

It also looks like the special effects team wanted to leave their mark in each shot because what looked like a battle taking place in a crater on some far off world was also a dumping ground for 1992 Nissans and 1988 Toyota Tercels. I shit you not, every big special effects explosion had at least one early model vehicle parked in the background, and they had nothing to do with the crappy plot.

I’ll be damned if I ever let my kids watch this nonsense. I’m not sure what shows I’ll let them watch while they raise themselves in front of the television, but I do know this one won’t be one of them.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inA-36YRV0Y

In the name of all that is holy, why would you want to be jostling around in any liquid with this many people in it? Seriously? If I had to swim around in urine, I’d rather that urine be my own thanks.

I know this would only happen in Japan, but don’t they have some sort of fire code also? Me thinks that whole pool is inside a building, and from the looks of it, I have no idea how that many people could ever exit in an emergency.

Makes me very thankful I can pee-pee and poop-poop in so many open spaces here in America.

Link [via Trends in Japan]

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Someone then suggested we start a club for people who have not read Harry Potter. I concurred. So far, here is the club:

• Me
• Robguy
• JJ
• Mr. Fabulous
• Minijonb

UPDATE - New Members:

• April

The name of the club shall henceforth be known as “Americans/Australians/AnyCountryThatStartsWithA Against Popular Leisure Reading” or AAPLR for short. The best pronunciation of the acronym I can come up with is AAAAAAA-pluhr. Think “Aflac duck” for the first syllable, followed by a nasal rendition of the first part of ‘plural’.

Stay with me. How many times have you missed out on a conversation because you had yet to catch up on the popular book/show/movie/sex toy everyone else was talking about? I think it’s time we make a stand. A stand for what we believe in. A stand against popularity in all its forms. In fact, if this club gets too popular, I’m going to shut it down. Just like that. I believe in what I stand for just that much.

What about you? Who’s with me? Who else wants to join Aaaaaaapluhr? The only prerequisite is that you haven’t read Harry Potter or anything on Oprah’s Book Club reading list. If you fail to meet the requirements and still want to join, I’ll need a note from your mother or one of your twelve cats confirming that you haven’t read any of the aforementioned tomes in the last six to eight weeks.

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So what is Faceball, besides being founded by John Allspaw and Dunstan Orchard?

At it’s simplest level Faceball involves two people hitting beach balls at each other’s faces. At a deeper level it’s a vehicle for the release of personal animosity, and the Shaming of the Weak.

Brilliant! Releasing personal animosity and shaming the weak are my lifeblood. Looks like someone released a little personal animosity on this biatch. But it looks like Tom Coates doesn’t mind a little shaming of the weak. Flickr seems to have a ton of people documenting this latest work-place phenomenon.

A video documentary and some more Faceball links after the jump.

Faceball, a documentary from Face Ball and Vimeo.

It sure is better than some of the antics people in my office do for fun. If anyone is interested in setting up some type of regional pod-tournament between offices, holla’ at me.

Link [via Neatorama]

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I mean, I do alright when I watch the World Series of Pop Culture. Hell, I could probably win the damn thing by myself. Unless they ask anything about Jake Ryan. Who the hell is that guy? And why does everyone still talk about him?

Enough with the posturing, here’s the list of what I missed:

Gimmicks, Toys, etc.

• [Pokemon] - I just never had enough imagination to think I was playing with anything other than some cards with pictures on them.
• [Magic: The Gathering] - See above. I know some married men who still play this and it scares me. A LOT.
• [G.I. Joe] - My mom would never buy them for us because they “promoted violence”. Cry me a river…

Movies

• [Sixteen Candles] - Is Jake Ryan in this one or the other one?
• [American Gigolo] - Why else would that gerbil rumor get started?
• [Heavy Metal] - I watched about 5 minutes of this, and I really, really needed to be high.

Books

• [Harry Potter] - I think I’m going to be a trend-setter by never reading any of them.

Fads

• [Gold Crown on your car dashboard] - I still have no idea what this was all about.
• [Gold Fist of Power in rear window of your Cadillac] - I saw way too many of these in the ghetto.
• [Air-Brushed T-Shirts] - Fashion FOH PAW!
• [Grillz] - How this ever became a fad, I’ll never know.
• [Wearing pants/shorts below my entire ass] - Maybe I was just afraid the “dirt tracks” in my tighty-whities would show, but I never really gave this fad the ol’ college try.

So as long as they stay away from anything on this list, I could be a shoe-in for the next spot that opens up on the internet user team for the World Series of Poker. Ask me anything about The Goonies, The Transformers, or that red-head who starred in The Goonies and it’s on!

What pop culture detritus have you missed out on?

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The Katsak? Seriously? A crinkly bag for your cat you could make any time you bring home groceries, and you’re selling it on a home shopping network? I do have to give it to Mike though, he kept it entertaining, and almost had me calling the number to get one. God only knows what kind of effect he had on middle-American stay-at-home housewives when this originally aired. I’m thinking the only way a product like this could get on the air is if a couple of the producers had a bet with each other and wanted to fuck with the new guy.

I’d wager one of those producers lost big time when Mike “Raw Sewage” Rowe started racking up sale after sale from some horny middle-aged Days of Our Lives watchers in the Bible Belt.

Link [via Videosift]

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