Garden Variety Family

The President Observes Diwali

2009-10-26T10:21:41-04:00

Let's shed some light I don't understand why this executive order was eliminated by President Bush, I imagine it is because he couldn't or wouldn't attempt to pronounce all those beautiful surnames, but so glad it is reinstated. How fitting that this was done during Diwali. Let's celebrate the triumph of "good over evil and the victory of light over darkness and knowledge over ignorance". Yay! knowledge over ignorance. Why undo something that officially recognizes a major segment of the population? Seems that undoing it would alienate an entire state. Anyway, Thank you President Obama, for officially recognizing the contributions and needs of my family and friends -- Americans through and through.

photo from BBC online

anti-adoption sentiments on the web

2009-09-27T23:16:51-04:00

I have just been on a trip around the internet reading blogs and articles about those who are against adoption. They started from comments posted on an infertile blonde. As a mother who would do anything for my child I am speechless. Most of what I read was from people adopted long ago when adoption was not spoken of, swept under the rug, when young single women were coerced or forced to give up their infants for adoption. I am always horrified when I read such stories, see movies, or hear of cases like these. I believe it was wrong but this is not the only adoption scenario out there, certainly today, more and more young women are keeping their babies. But that doesn't change the fact that there are grey areas in every issue, individual circumstance, different details. My son will know his, and with any luck he will know all the people in his triad. There were so many hurtful things said about adoptive parents in the things I read today, I am still trying to process it. Everything I read was so black and white: assuming that their experiences, their feelings, their reasons, their circumstances are those of their counterparts. I don't know what to say. I can't begin to tackle the tangled emotions and thoughts that are broiling in my head right now.

will my ice cube trays ever be white again?

2009-09-03T10:00:24-04:00

When I started this blog it was all about our path to parenthood. I had hopes of documenting our adoption process as a chronicle for us but also to maybe help others out who were in the same boat. The blog slowed to a near halt as our adoption path virtually stalled with little relief in sight. Out of the blue and with no warning we got the once-in-a-lifetime-chance to become parents. Our goal was achieved without a peep on the blog. We went from international adoption to domestic in a heartbeat and hardly knew how it happened. So with a sweet babe in arms for almost 7 months now what do I do with this blog? The other primary purpose of the blog was to celebrate diverse families, namely those created through adoption. The blog can still do that as we are still a multi-racial family but then there is this babyhood that, as it speeds by is like nothing else. I understand mommy bloggers now, I never really wanted to be one but there is this awe that takes over your life as this little being takes over and makes you see life from an entirely new vantage point. You find yourself doing and loving experiences you never imagined. As a visual artist I can't help but see this beauty in this amazing mundane.

So our Little Truffle is getting really big, actually he is in the 90th percentile and every inch of him is gorgeous. He started eating cereals a couple months ago and we are slowly adding fruits and veggies. I am making all his food myself at this point "making" means steaming and pureeing -- I am not relying on Gerber to nourish my child. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I am just a do-it-yourself kinda gal and I like knowing exactly what is going in my child's mouth and... have you ever noticed how outrageously expensive it is? My son is certainly worth it but I buy organic, I can get fresh and more diverse variety in huge quantities for a lot less. All of this is an attempt to expand his palate to hopefully avoid the pickies later and to give him all the goodness of a full rainbow of foods.

So after, carrots (which gave him the twitchies it was hilarious to watch) we had peas, bananas, butternut squash, and next on the spectrum: a gorgeous alizarine crimson. I got these gorgeous beets from our public market. They are like candy and I had to restrain myself from eating them all. I did my thing, boiled them, peeled them and blend, blend, blended them. Just look at these gems.

The color drives me wild.

Do you thing my ice cube trays will ever be white again?

Up next: apples of one of my favorite varieties, Pink Lady.

A half of year with my beautiful, beautiful boy

2009-08-17T15:05:00-04:00

It seems I have spent the last 6 months of my life trying to memorize every detail, the contours of your face, every eyelash, your creamy color, the placement of every dimple. Nothing can capture the satiny softness of your skin. At every moment I have the desire to pickle you forever; preserve every wonder that you are at any that moment. When we nap together I try to absorb you as if I were a tree and you my life giving sun. I cannot describe how inextricably part of me you feel. When you sleep you grin as if having a great dream of milk showering from clouds and flowers bursting from the ground to give you something to chew on. I can't help but smile as you suck on a phantom nipple or jump as if in your beloved bouncer. You are the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever beheld, I love you to my core, no bond could be stronger. You are my miracle and I bask in the wonder of that knowledge every day. Little boy, you are everything I needed and didn't know it. You are magic.

Just Like Me

2009-08-10T12:18:41-04:00

I've seen this video before but never posted it. It makes me cry to think what our birthmother went through, as well as when I relive the moment our Little Pudding was put into my arms for the first time.

Both DMC and Sarah McLachlan were adopted (click their names to read more about it). I think it is important to stress to our children that before anything, and just like every human being, they were born, adoption is secondary -- an additional miracle. Telling him he is adopted before age 35 (I realize it was a different time) is key. I just don't know how people kept such secrets. We hope to avoid the feelings DMC felt about learning he was adopted by forging an open relationship with his birth mother. We can do what we can, so far we have had no contact with his birthmother.

Enjoy the video I find the contrast of their styles compelling and beautiful.

Our Little Truffle may never be just like me/us but already there are so many ways that he just fits in. He is definitely a snuggler which is great because his parents are a cuddly couple. I like how Sarah says in the Parents.com interview that she is growing up to be "very much" like her mom.

Doing what a thousand words could not.

2009-08-08T00:05:45-04:00

The blog has been needing a design update, this image, the obvious choice.

State of the Garden

2009-08-04T22:19:27-04:00

Well literally the garden is a mess, weeds rule and everything else is suffering the serfs life. The Garden of us, well we are great. Actually Steven and I are getting ready to take our first overnight outing without our little Truffle. I have been worrying about it for weeks. Every year we go to Stratford, Canada for the Shakespeare Festival. This we year we will do it in abbreviated fashion. Two days, one night. We got the jacuzzi suite at our normal B&B we are going to try to get rush tickets for West Side Story. Go to a great Indian restaurant and get a Pavlova, walk for miles hand in hand and troll the quaint shops and then rush home to our little love.

Everyday I still look at our baby and wonder in awe how lucky we are that his little soul chose us as his caretakers. Not a day goes by that I don't thank the heavens for sending him to us. I cannot describe what it is like to be in awe for 24 straight weeks.

In other news, I am thinking about reassessing my/our online presence. I really wish that if there are any readers, left out there after my long absences between posts, who can help me by weighing in. Discussing my infertility and adoption path was one thing when it involved just me, well, and my husband. Now though I have a beautiful boy to protect. I've seen an Oprah show where FBI specialists question why parents put pictures and info about their children online because it can compromise the child's safety, yet so many families do it. It is a wonderful support system to be able to share and grow with the bloggers I've met from all over the world. So how do I share our story, offer hope, get support while keeping our Sweetness safe? I'd like to think that I can physically protect him. I genuinely believe that people are good for the most part but I know there is a sinister world out there. Yikes, I hate even putting those thoughts to the keyboard.

To that end I am considering merging my blogs to a single online presence where I will take greater care with my son's identity. But it is terrible to have a blog about the adoption process -- an adoption journey that doesn't show the happy ending, the pot of gold at the end. I want my son someday to read how proud, excited, and in love with him I was and am. I want him to know he was never a second choice. He is who we waited for we just didn't know it and we are so honored to be his parents, and that everyday I shed tears of joy for the blessing he is in my life. So there is my quandary and writing hasn't made a decision any clearer for me.

For now I just can't help but share an update on my beautiful surprise boy. He is blooming and growing, REALLY growing. He is the size of a 9-12 month old. His cuteness is unmatched, how is that for an unbiased mother?

Suddenly daddy, we celebrate

2009-06-22T00:34:43-04:00

Four months ago today, Steven spent his first full day with our son. And now here just one third of a year later Steven is a father seasoned by being blanched in parenthood. Steven has done a really good job, he is a natural -- devoted -- sacrificing --and loving. I couldn't ask for a better father for my child. I love him more every day, seeing him as a father has given me one more facet of my husband to love. Happy Father's Day, we never would have guessed that we would be celebrating this day this year.

They are a couple peas in a pod, aren't they? I adore them both and when they are together, well I just get weak. Thank you, honey for saying yes. I can't believe how much I am loving this life.

terms of endearment

2009-06-08T09:14:49-04:00

Well, we have an absolutely irresistible bundle of boy. I keep drafting a post to tell the story of how it all happened, every last detail. I feel some trepidation because as much as this is our story it is also our baby's story and some of it should be his to tell. I am in a bit of a quandary as to what to do. I want to share because it is the most remarkable story as well as a story of a successful adoption, but I want to honor my son because this blog will be for him someday too. Any suggestions? I'd love to hear them.

In the meantime I thought I would share all the pet names that seem to befall our dear baby. Everyday he gets cuter and more delicious.

Some of the usuals that you hear lots of people use. Sweet pea, love bug, snuggle bug. I call him my little nugget, nugget of love, snuggle buggle, pie face, sweetie boy, love nugget, Levi love. My favorite is truffle, because he is like a yummy melty chocolate treat filled with gooey goodness but also in the more fungal meaning: highly valued and difficult to find (both true), therefore a true prize (he is a prize all right) when found. He often reminds us of the seeker as well as the seekee in a traditional truffle hunting situation. We are enchanted by his snorts and chordles as our little piggy starts to tell us he is hungry. I call him piglet and hungry caterpillar. Steven says he is Hungarian, which should be spelled Hungrian.

He is my First prize, the nickname my mom gave me as a baby--being her first child and all.

More: muffin, cupcake, dumpling. He is my sweetness. My joy. My pudding. ( I know I am forgetting some...a bunch) I love him, I love him, I love him. Sometimes his wondeful-ness just makes me cry.

The most pivotal day of my life

2009-06-03T14:50:45-04:00

On February 19, 2009 our path to parenthood took a dramatic and sudden turn. After spending two years in line in what seems to be an endless wait for a China adoption we decided to explore the option of private domestic adoption. At 2pm we met with an adoption attorney to discuss and start the process. In an amazing turn of events, 45 minutes after leaving the lawyer’s office we got a call from the agency we used for our China adoption home study asking us if we would be interested in adopting a baby boy born two days earlier. We had about five minutes to think about and discuss it and decide. In an unbelievable minute we became parents!

We had two hours to find a pediatrician, get a car seat and meet our social worker at the hospital. We cannot begin to describe the overwhelming emotion that was in control of us as we walked into the nursery and the most beautiful baby was placed in our arms. Less than 24 hours later we were on our way home with our baby boy whom we named Levi. Without a single baby item in our house, our wonderful friends and family rallied to bring us the items we needed to get through our first night and the next few days with our surprise baby. Everything fell together so serendipitously, so perfectly, it seemed that the creation of our family was written in the stars. Still, we had to wait out the mandatory 30 days that the birthmother had to reconsider her decision. Bonding was not hard---it was love at first sight and it just grew through every sleepless moment with our son. Thirty days went by without any communication from the birthmother. He was ours forever!

I want to chronicle the last three whirlwind months of our lives for us, mainly for our baby, so that we remember every detail and he knows as much as we can tell him about how he made us a family of three. Things will be coming in dribs and drabs as I publish things I wrote in sleep-deprived stupor and as I recall what went on and how I felt during this amazing time. There may be overlap, gaps, and things out of sequence but it is important to me to get it written down. I have three months to catch up on and current things to report. Welcome to our rollercoaster our time-machine of sorts.