marriage equality

From the Project Rewind Site:

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Gay Research Study, Safe Sex Study, Gay Porn

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of our dear
friend and community activist, Gay Catholic Priest, Rev. Dr. Paul E.
Murray.

Rev. Dr. Murray, Chairperson of the God &
Sexuality Conference, Catholic Chaplain and Visiting Assistant
Professor of Religion at Bard College passed away on On
January 31st in his home in
Tivoli, NY.

Dr. Murray was an author, teacher, scholar, and activist. 
He touched thousands of lives and devoted his spiritual and intellectual
energies to creating a more dynamic, welcoming, and safe Catholic
church and understanding of religion in general.  Paul was the founder
and executive director of Among Friends, Inc.,
which provides transitional housing, counseling, and job-search support
to persons in crisis. 

Paul was a great and quiet man.  He changed the lives of thousands and
offered a vision of compassion, spirituality, and promise to Lesbian,
Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer people of all ages and faiths.  
His work was confident, his beliefs deep, his patience endless.  He
is greatly missed.

He most recently published his memoir Life in Paradox, The Story of a Gay Catholic Priest
(2008, O Books). Other publications include: “A Cultural Reading of Literature on the Catholic Church in the South,” Culture of Bible Belt
Catholics; “The ‘International Outlook’,” Place of the Person in Social Life; and articles, interviews, and book reviews in
Anthropos; Technology and Disability; National Catholic Reporter; Charities, U.S.A.; Washington
Blade. 

He is survived by his mother Verna H. Murray, sister
Rebecca Burns, nieces Julia Warga and Jennifer Glynn, and many friends, students, and colleagues.

Friends may call at the Arlington Funeral Home, 3901 N. Fairfax Dr.,
Arlington, VA on Friday, February 13, 2009 from 6 to 8 p.m. A mass of
Christian burial will be celebrated on Saturday, February 14, 2009 at
10:30 a.m. in St. Stephen-Martyr Catholic Church, 2436 Pennsylvania
Ave., NW, Washington DC. Interment to follow in Oakwood Cemetery, Falls
Church, VA.

Memorial contributions maybe made to the
The God and Sexuality Conference at Bard College, PO Box 5000,
Annandale-on-Hudson, NY 12504.  Please let us know if you would like to make a contribution in Paul’s memory.

In Sorrow,

Gabriel Blau

Director, The God & Sexuality Conference

Gay Catholic Priest, Paul Murray, Bard College,

Register Now for Nehirim’s First Annual Women’s Retreat.  Slated for March 20-22, 2009 at Isabella Freedman Retreat Center in Falls Village, CT, the Women’s Retreat welcomes all self-identified women to build a vibrant, diverse community in a beautiful natural setting.  Also, children’s programming will be available, so bring along those smaller members of the family.

Also, Super-Early Bird Registration is now open for this year’s Nehirim West and Nehirim East retreats.  Register by March 1 (by clicking here for Nehirim West and here for Nehirim East) to get a double discount!  Nehirim West will be held at Walker Creek Ranch, in Petaluma, CA, on May 8-10, 2009.  Nehirim East will take place at Isabella Freedman Retreat Center in Falls Village, CT, on May 15-17, 2009.

We also have some exciting upcoming local events in the New York City metro area:
We hope to see you at Ma’agal, our monthly Nehirim women’s group, facilitated by Chani Getter, or at Social Networking for Couples, Parents, & Prospective Parents, an event for LGBT Jews who are considering marriage, parenting, and other forms of family-building, run by Marlene Rachelle, whom you may have met at Queer Shabbaton New York or the Nehirim Gathering.

nehirim, gay, jewish, events

Obama, Inauguration, Rick Warren, CBST, Gay, Lesbian, Prayer

Visit http://jointheimpact.wetpaint.com/

Protests are happening around the country tomorrow.  This is important.  Be a part of it.  Use the above link to get more info for your area.

Together we can secure our rights and gain equality!

Visit http://jointheimpact.wetpaint.com/

This is really wonderful.  Kudos to Keith and MSNBC.  Let them know how you feel about Keith’s comment by emailing them here.

This isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics, and this isn’t really just about Prop-8.  And I don’t have a personal investment in this: I’m not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.

And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics. This is about the human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.

If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not understand.

Click below to watch the video and see the full transcript…

Here’s the Transcript:

Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast.

Some parameters, as preface. This isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics, and this isn’t really just about Prop-8.  And I don’t have a personal investment in this: I’m not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.

And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn’t about yelling, and this isn’t about politics. This is about the human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it.

If you voted for this Proposition or support those who did or the sentiment they expressed, I have some questions, because, truly, I do not understand. Why does this matter to you? What is it to you? In a time of impermanence and fly-by-night relationships, these people over here want the same chance at permanence and happiness that is your option. They don’t want to deny you yours. They don’t want to take anything away from you. They want what you want—a chance to be a little less alone in the world.

Only now you are saying to them—no. You can’t have it on these terms. Maybe something similar. If they behave. If they don’t cause too much trouble.  You’ll even give them all the same legal rights—even as you’re taking away the legal right, which they already had. A world around them, still anchored in love and marriage, and you are saying, no, you can’t marry. What if somebody passed a law that said you couldn’t marry?

I keep hearing this term “re-defining” marriage. If this country hadn’t re-defined marriage, black people still couldn’t marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal in 1967. 1967.

The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn’t have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it’s worse than that. If this country had not “re-defined” marriage, some black people still couldn’t marry black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized, if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, or mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not “Until Death, Do You Part,” but “Until Death or Distance, Do You Part.” Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized.

You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are gay.

And uncountable in our history are the number of men and women, forced by society into marrying the opposite sex, in sham marriages, or marriages of convenience, or just marriages of not knowing, centuries of men and women who have lived their lives in shame and unhappiness, and who have, through a lie to themselves or others, broken countless other lives, of spouses and children, all because we said a man couldn’t marry another man, or a woman couldn’t marry another woman. The sanctity of marriage.

How many marriages like that have there been and how on earth do they increase the “sanctity” of marriage rather than render the term, meaningless?

What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don’t you, as human beings, have to embrace… that love? The world is barren enough.

It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.

And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling.  With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?

With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate… this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then Spread happiness—this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness—share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate.

You don’t have to help it, you don’t have it applaud it, you don’t have to fight for it. Just don’t put it out. Just don’t extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don’t know and you don’t understand and maybe you don’t even want to know. It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow person just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too.

This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial.

But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this:

“I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam,” he told the judge. It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all: So I be written in the Book of Love; I do not care about that Book above. Erase my name, or write it as you will, So I be written in the Book of Love.”

Here’s a list of protest happening this weekend in California care of Towleroad.com

We had hoped never to have to write this email.

Sadly, fueled by misinformation, distortions and lies, millions of voters went to the polls yesterday and said YES to bigotry, YES to discrimination, YES to second-class status for same-sex couples.

And while the election was close, and millions of votes still remain uncounted, it has become apparent that we lost.

There is no question this defeat is hard.

Thousands of people have poured their talents, their time, their resources and their hearts into this struggle for freedom and this fight to have their relationships treated equally. Much has been sacrificed in this struggle.

While we knew the odds for success were not with us, we believed Californians could be the first in the nation to defeat the injustice of discriminatory measures like Proposition 8.

And while victory is not ours this day, we know that because of the work done here, freedom, fairness and equality will be ours someday. Just look at how far we have come in a few decades.

Up until 1974 same-sex intimacy was a crime in California. There wasn’t a single law recognizing the relationships of same-sex couples until 1984 — passed by the Berkeley School District. San Francisco did not pass domestic-partner protections until 1990; the state of California followed in 2005. And in 2000, Proposition 22 passed with a 23% majority.

Today, we fought to retain our right to marry and millions of Californians stood with us. Over the course of this campaign everyday Californians and their friends, neighbors and families built a civil rights campaign unequalled in California history.

You raised more money than anyone believed possible for an LGBT civil rights campaign.

You reached out to family and friends in record numbers — helping hundreds of thousands of Californians understand what the LGBT civil rights struggle is really about.

You built the largest grassroots and volunteer network that has ever been built — a coalition that will continue to fight until all people are equal.

And you made the case to the people of California and to the rest of the world that discrimination — in any form — is unfair and wrong.

We are humbled by the courage, dignity and commitment displayed by all who fought this historic battle.

Victory was not ours today. But the struggle for equality is not over.

Because of the struggle fought here in California — fought so incredibly well by the people in this state who love freedom and justice — our fight for full civil rights will continue.

Activist and writer Anne Lamott writes, “Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.”

We stand together, knowing… our dawn will come.

Dr. Delores A. Jacobs
CEO
Center Advocacy Project

Lorri L. Jean
CEO
L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center

Kate Kendell
Executive Director
National Center for Lesbian Rights

Geoff Kors
Executive Director
Equality California