Q: Sadaf, your bravery and courage in boldly speaking out about controversial issues, such as LGBT, minority rights and animal rights in Pakistan is very inspiring to all human rights and LGBT activists not only in Pakistan and India but throughout the Indian subcontinent. First of all, I would like to ask you about your blog which touches upon a number of these issues. What motivated you to speak out about LGBT, minority and animal rights, rather than be a passive observer as many of us are in the subcontinent?

Ans: Wow, that’s a tough one. I really don’t think I could pin point the exact time or event in my life that made me want to fight specifically for human rights (even though I can totally do that for animal rights), but I do remember that I always felt a lot of empathy for the underdog from a very young age. Maybe it was because I myself was bullied for a very short time at the age of 9 for being over-weight and since I was always an “over-sensitive” child, that left a strong impression on me. Or maybe it was just that I’ve always been a bit of an “old soul” as my friends used to call me, and never found stuff like someone tripping and falling over terribly hilarious, even if it was a person I wasn’t too fond of. I’ve just always been able to relate to the underdog.

For the longest time in high school I would get infuriatingly upset and stressed over a girl in my class being bullied by 49 other girls. I was never targeted, not even for standing up for her, because I had friends and I suppose was well-liked or didn’t give them enough of an opportunity to pick on me on account of being boringly similar to them. I just hated that they picked on her and it boggled my mind that the girls I was friends with, who were otherwise sweet, kind and compassionate would join in on the laughter and teasing while she cried at the hurtful remarks and incessant mockery. I never understood how people could relate so easily to the pain of their friends and family, yet turn a blind eye to the same pain felt by a stranger. To me, pain was pain, and it should be reacted to in the same manner, irrespective of who was feeling it. So I suppose that frustration grew as the years went by, and now here I am, unable to shut up when I come across someone being bullied, being wronged or being ganged up against. Now it’s an obsession.

Also, since we all know genetics aren’t everything, I believe the rest of my personality comes from my environment and my mother. My mother is an amazing woman who has spent her entire life trying to teach me by example. My mother taught me how to think, not what to think, and for this I will be forever grateful to her. She is one of my biggest supporters in all my fights. She has the kindest heart and even though she didn’t always have such a positive opinion of homosexuality specifically, once I gave her my perspective on human rights (specifically LGBT rights) with regards to psychology, biology and just basic humanity, she was completely turned around regarding these realties and now educates her friends on these topics. She always discourages people from spouting hatred and educates people on what homosexuality is really all about whenever she comes across those who seem to be blinded by the prejudice that arises from ignorance.

The simplest words in which I can explain my belief though, is through a quote by George Bernard Shaw, who said, “The minority is sometimes right, but the majority is ALWAYS wrong”. I think he was spot on.

Q. I am sure there are many who subconsciously feel that change needs to come in both our countries on these issues. But few of us actively seek that change, as many of us sit back and relax hoping someone else will do the hard work. Others feel helpless and wonder if substantial change is possible but developments in the past few years should give us hope. Have you ever faced these doubts and what has motivated you to keep going despite them?

Ans: Many people actually think that just sitting at home and writing a blog is ineffective too, and even if that’s true (which I don’t think it is), many of us don’t know what else we can do. We can write, we can publicize, we can comment, we can argue, we can engage people in debates and we can raise awareness. Most of the people don’t even know about many of the issues our society faces because everything is a taboo these days. You can’t question religion, because it’s disrespectful. You can’t talk about sexual harassment, because that’s inappropriate. You can’t talk about sexual orientation, because no one really knows anything about it other than the fact that they’ve been told that it’s “sinful”. And you most definitely can’t talk about animal rights, because let’s face it, they were never suppose to have any. And them not having rights make our lives pretty easy. I feel trapped in this society sometimes because I don’t know what route to take to make a difference. Setting the whole “fear for life” thing aside, there is too much moral corruption to even sift out right from wrong. Renowned private educational institutions dole out extremely biased and discriminatory lectures on SCIENTIFIC subjects like Psychology, a discipline based on objectivity and empirical evidence. I’m often overwhelmed by these truths and feel insignificant in the face of such deep-rooted hypocrisy and prejudice. But these realizations always result in frustration-driven anger, which fortunately is my motivation.

Q. What inspired you to take up the issue of human rights, particularly gay rights? Do you know any gays and lesbians in Pakistan and what is the environment like for them? Do you feel today’s generation is more open minded than previous generations?

Ans: I’ve always had a rather high level of empathy for as long as I can remember. I suppose the idea of not saying or doing something when you know what’s happening around you is wrong, especially when someone else is suffering as a direct result of the wrongdoing, had always seemed extremely preposterous to me.
I do know quite a few gay people in Pakistan now, but I’ve been a firm believer in their rights even before I knew any. I myself have always been gender blind, so I suppose it was easier for me to relate to people falling in love with and/or being attracted to members of the same sex. I never really saw the “haw” factor in that. I mean, all that talk about “inner beauty” and “loving the person and not the face” to me, stretched beyond just “beauty”. I’ve always fallen in love with people, not what was or wasn’t between their legs.

The sexual variant people in Pakistan, the ones I know at least, are incredibly strong-minded, humble and most importantly, fearless. Especially considering how incredibly difficult, almost impossible, this society has made for them to “come out” without their lives being put at risk. One of my good friends, Nuwas Manto, the owner of PQM (Pakistan Queer Movement) and a fellow activist was brave enough to come out to his family at the age of 17, and now, 3 years down the line, his family is still struggling to come to terms with it, and continues to hope for that he will find the “right girl” who will pull him out of his “phase”. Nuwas is only twenty years old. Imagine spending the first quarter of your life fighting for your right to be considered human! Imagine fighting for this right in a society that treats you like a contagious disease, wrong and “sinful”. Imagine your own family not being able to support you in your fight or sooth your self esteem by considering you to be perfect just the way you are. I can’t imagine it. Because it’s impossible to imagine being on the receiving end of such cruelty unless you’ve been subjected to it. There is nothing sadder and more heart breaking than a healthy, beautiful person being made to question their self worth based on something they have absolutely no control over.

It is incredibly difficult to remain as poised and calm as my LGBT brothers and sisters have managed to keep in the face of such excessively institutionalized homophobia. My respect and admiration for the peacefulness and patience of the LGBT community in Pakistan knows no bounds. I idolize their courage and their resilience and will continue to do so and fight alongside them always.

Today’s generation may be more open-minded as compared to the previous generation with respect to the fact that they might consider “death” to be an inappropriate punishment for homosexuality. But sadly, it is also true that today’s generation is just as ignorant as the previous one and a lot more dangerous because along with being ignorant, it is also fed the wrong information as fact by “experts”. So where death is thought to be an disproportionate punishment for homosexuality, people now believe that “professional help” is most definitely a more suitable option for people who’re afflicted with this so called “mental disorder”.

End of Part 1. Please provide your feedback in the comments section and we’ll be sure to share it with Sadaf.

Friday night’s meet-up with the girls was routine. Getting out that one night in a week with friends gave Yasmin a sense of purpose, something constant, something steady. But lately, Yasmin dreaded Friday nights. She hated pubs. She hated the drunken garble because that is all she heard. She laughed at jokes half-heartedly because there was nothing else to do…to say. The interesting conversations seemed to always happen on the other end of the table. She would try hard to lip read and maybe make a comment but nobody heard her. Drinking did nothing for her, either. She never drank enough to get drunk. And by the end of the night, she was sober amongst a bunch of drunk women, taking the auto alone, to her place where she stayed alone.

Friday nights were the only nights she felt lonely.

But last Friday, she regretted reading lips from across the table. Lips that smiled and stunned her. Lips she couldn’t take her eyes off. Lips, she wished she could slowly touch with her thumb and trace their outline. Slowly. Lick them. Kiss them.

It was a little late by the time she realised she’d been staring too long and was perhaps being rude, for she saw that the smiling lips were attached to a face that had eyes which twinkled and were now looking straight at her. She felt flushed and suddenly it was as if the alcohol had hit her. She looked away immediately and got up to pay a visit to the ladies room. She couldn’t bear to go back and the loud thump-thumping wasn’t helping either. She quietly snuck out of the pub and decided to make her way home.

She felt like an idiot. She kept cursing herself for having silly fantasies in a public place about a total stranger. And at the same time she felt her stomach muscles tighten at the thought of those lips and those smiling eyes that were filled with mischief. She shook her head to shake the thought and berated herself for being such a coward…no, a pervert…no, just horny…no no no…coward. Focus!

‘Ok! Stop!’, she told herself. Take a deep breath. She shouldn’t have had that wine she told herself.

“Yasmin, you ok?”

She looked up to find Bindya standing there looking concerned. “Yeah I’m fine, do you have a cigarette I can …bum…” Shite! Too late! The lips! There, standing right next to Bindya were those luscious lips and twinkling eyes! “I should stop calling them that”, Yasmin made a mental note.

“Sorry. We are on our last one, but we can share?” asked Bindya. “No escape”, thought Yasmin as The Lips took a deep drag off her cigarette. “Are you leaving already?” asked Bindya. Yasmin barely nodded while she tried to keep her eyes off The Lips. “Yeah, long day. Should head home”, she mumbled while her head screamed to escape right away. “Oh, come on…we barely get to see you. You are such a party pooper. We might be going over to Moina’s after this. Come no?” “Who Moina?” Yasmin blurted.

“Hi, I’m Moina. I don’t think we’ve met.”

The Lips was speaking to her now and held out her hand. Yasmin put her hand out sheepishly and smiled. “Hi. Sorry…I really got to go.” She quickly hugged Bindya and said her byes promising to meet them again next Friday.

She did not go the next Friday only to get a call from Bindya the following morning throwing a tantrum for not having turned up. It suddenly occurred to her that she had missed Bindya’s birthday. Yasmin apologised and wished her a belated birthday and in turn got arm twisted to going over to Bindya’s for a Sunday brunch. She asked,“Who all will be there?” “The usual…but a smaller group. Hey, Moina was asking about you. But you’ll meet her tomorrow in any case.”

Yasmin barely managed to stifle a “WHAT?” and her horror…excitement…knot in stomach… She mumbled about a headache and said she’d see Bindya tomorrow.

Her head had been muddled ever since and even this shower wasn’t helping. She felt strangely trapped. She decided she didn’t want to eat anything after all. Poured herself a glass of wine and picked out the biggest bar of chocolate from her secret stash, crawled into bed and watched TV till she passed out.

The party seemed like a blur. As usual, everyone had conversations to make except for her. There was much chattering and giggling, none of which she could hear. At least this time it wasn’t the other way round! Yasmin decided to get some fresh air and walked to the balcony only to be intercepted by Bindya on her way. Bindya seemed drunk, grinning ear to ear and talking so fast that Yasmin could barely follow what she was saying. Not that Bindya seemed to mind. She abruptly turned away and started talking to someone else in the same boisterous drunk way.

She wondered what Bindya had meant by ‘a smaller group’ since the house was swarming with women she knew and those she had never seen. So far there was no sign of Moina. Yasmin let out a sigh of relief but she was also disappointed. She decided to make her way to the restroom. She washed her face and stared at the mirror for a while trying to figure out if she was drunk or just fatigue. The latter, she decided.

After what seemed like a long time she noticed that there was someone behind her in the mirror. There she was. Those lips pursed, looking concerned but a smile waiting to appear. Their eyes met in the mirror and Yasmin felt her cheeks flush. She looked away only to realise that Moina had moved forward and was standing right behind her. So close that she could feel Moina’s warm breathe on her hair. Yasmin felt her body tense up begging silently for Moina to touch her.

She wasn’t sure what or how it happened but there she was, kissing those lips and those lips were kissing her back. They moved from her mouth and traced her jawline, slowly down to her neck and ran along her shoulder blade. They tumbled somehow onto Bindya’s bed while Moina’s hands slowly but steadily unpinned Yasmin’s saree and unwound her out of it. Moina’s lips in close tandem with her tongue were working wonders on Yasmin’s skin. The neck…the cleavage and finally devouring her right nipple while her fingers worked on her left. She could feel Moina’s wetness while she straddled Yasmin’s thigh. Their collective moans had drowned out the loud party noises. Her back arched and Moina’s grip tightened around her thigh.

She ran her thumb on the contours of those lips that smiled while they drifted off into a blissful slumber.

She woke up with the start to broad daylight and a noisy television. It took her a moment to realise she was in her bed, in her house, alone. Confused, she walked around her house to make sure she was fully awake and that this wasn’t her imagination. So then, if this is real, was that a dream? She sat back on her bed feeling dejected. She pulled her covers up to her knees and sat staring mindlessly at the TV. Slowly she smiled, grinned…

Like she willed, she slept and when she woke up she knew exactly what she had to do.
“So which saree shall I wear today?” she said aloud to herself.

I don’t think it’s fair to compare the 1990 movie with the 2012 re-make/revamp/vamped version. 

Agreed! But that’s exactly the review seems to be doing. You cannot compare the two Vijays or the two Suhasinis. A note from Karan Johar before the credits run in the beginning, hints at the imminent departure from the original. I don’t remember his foreword exactly, but I paraphrase: “the Agneepath of ’90 formed a pillar for the production of Agneepath of 2012″. The storyline was developed differently (for e.g: the events that led to Masterji’s death) and the supporting characters were new. Why even, ‘Kancha’ is merely a name shared by Danny and Sanjay Dutt. In character, they were both quite different.

- the Censor Board’s license – U/A – really? how are children supposed to watch a post-rape scene, couple of bloody murders and extreme violence in the name of a ‘storyline’ and still stay awake at night? Or refrain from trying some of the stuff out?

I don’t know how many people actually follow the Censor Board’s certification, to begin with. The movie also opens with the obligatory disclaimer that the movie is too violent and may be unsuitable for young viewers. People who did go into watch Agneepath: what were they expecting? A Disney remake of the original? The original was rife with violence and parents should know better than to bring kids along. And a separate rant: Parents should stop taking kids to watch movies altogether unless they are old enough to stay still and shut the hell up. Exception: Disney/Pixar movies.

- Rauf Lala (Rishi Kapoor) is a brilliant character, but somehow lacking a decent end. Could’ve been a lot more emphatic towards the ‘death’

I find it hard to sympathise with a man who made a career out of selling underage girls. Vijay tries his best to walk away out of some misplaced sense of respect. But Rauf deliberately provokes Vijay into killing him; either because he no longer has the will to live (having lost his oldest son) or he’s self-destructive and eggs Vijay into doing something his conscience (or whatever is left of it) doesn’t permit him to, at the cost of his own (Rauf’s) life.

In fact, the mother who hates him for his violence, later on almost cheers him in the 2012 movie towards killing Kancha

If just for a moment, you look at Suhasini’s character as someone new and different from the original, you will see that this is a more realistic portrayal of a widow who wants her children to live and follow the ideals of her upstanding husband but crumbles in the face of reality when she understands how the trauma affected her son. She stops being the widow and instead becomes the mother who just wants her son alive. Suhasini, as played by Rohini was an immensely unlikeable character, but Zarina Wahab portrays this character as someone you can feel bad for.

- The villagers of Mandwa are shown as ultra-dumb, money-minded people. Really? Will anyone in this age even be able to relate to that? Satanic colonies that trade cocaine? Mafia that is only full of venom, blood and the Kolaveri (urge to kill)?

Good grief! Could we have some show of hands from people who went into watch Agneepath hoping to relate to Suhasini/Shiksha/Vijay? The movie is fictional, the characters are fictional. But since we’re talking about portrayals and political correctness, let’s look at the villagers of Mandwa. They first side with Kancha when he presents an oversimplified grand scheme to make quick money. Who doesn’t do that? Since times immemorial right up till recent past, villagers have been selling their land for prices way below their market price in hopes to make some quick money. Soon, the money runs out and demonstrating some “sellers’ remorse”, they decide to protest against the government and ask for more money. The foolishness of this aside, the greed (as shown in Agneepath) is completely realistic. Read up on the Tata Nano factory debacle in West bengal and the land fiasco surrounding Buddh International Circuit at Jaypee Greens Sports City. The Mandwa folks (somewhat reluctantly, perhaps) support the Master as he talks them out of selling land to Kancha and then again support Kancha when faced with the Master’s alleged treachery. Though not shown strongly enough, the villagers show a glimmer of doubt and fear when Kancha hangs the Master. This is depicted through their shell-shocked silence as the Master’s writhing stops as life slips out of his body. Mandwa’s transformation from a cheery colorful village (opening Holi scene) to a grey dreary Lanka has been shot wonderfully in Agneepath.

As for mafia deaths? I have three words for you. Mexican drug cartels.

- Hijras shown as clever, scheming people is okay. But as violent mobs? Dagger and knife-armed killers? Come on! Get a life! I know we’ve not portrayed Hijras in Bollywood for quite some time, but then comes this ghastly, scary image of the queens. Don’t compare them with the buggers in Ninja Asssassin.

This is the part of review I most disagree with. Why is it okay to show Hijra as scheming but not violent? I acknowledge, the movie did not spend enough time on the character development of the Hijras. As I saw it, they were shown as supportive of Vijay and loyal and fierce. They rise up in arms against a mob of cruel men that have thronged to witness and participate in the auction of a girl. What’s wrong with that? Would you rather that Hijras be shown as only sweet loving angels who provide comedic relief from time to time (as is the case in Bollywood now)? I could write a whole new post about movies where Hijras paid central and negative characters that are worth complaining about. But I’ll leave you with one enduring image that haunted me for ages after having watched the movie.

Maharani (Sadak)

Yes, that’s Sadashiv Amrapurkar as Maharani in Sadak.

I have said this before and I say this again. If we queerfolk are truly fighting for equality, then we should be comfortable with being shown in positive and negative light in the media as long as they aren’t ill sketched caricatures. If the violent army of Vijay were comprised of women and not Hijras, would we be as vociferous in our protest about the way they were portrayed? It also seems weird to me that, we must protest against violence being shown in an action movie.

All in all the movie wasn’t half as bad as Srini’s review implies. Yes, it did have its flaws. The character of Vijay as a child appears to be a lot more vocal and stronger than Vijay as an adult. I understand that they wanted to build a silent brooding anti-hero. But there should have been a few more dialogues to depict the dichotomy of Vijay as a gentle, charitable, do gooder and the tortured, anguished, grieving renegade trying to avenge his father’s death. Also Priyanka Chopra as Kaali is a constant annoyance and distraction in the movie. I was part relieved, when her character was killed. It seemed very unconvincing to see such a strong emotional reaction from Vijay when she dies, given how he’d been aloof to her for most part of the movie.

But the movie’s strength was most certainly the acting of Rishi Kapoor, Hritik Roshan (he worked with what he got) and Sanjay Dutt. Not to mention the ever under rated hero: the background music. It’s a shame that Indian movies do not devote enough importance to original background score. This is the one place where the Agneepath of 1990 and 2012 are comparable. Mukul Anand’s Agneepath had background music which was ‘inspired’ by Jean Michel André Jarre and the 2012 Agneepath had original music by Atul-Anand.

I am glad that yet another movie (last one was Wake Up Sid) has come out of the Dharma Productions stable which does not rely on stereotypes, familiar tropes and offensive humor to make the film work.

I’m being the bitch, and ‘cos Hrithik graced the private screening “Agneepath” (2012) in Mumbai for the Queer Azaadi Mumbai 2012 organizing members and supporting personalities. L, G, B, T, H, I, K, Q and the rest of the Queer Alphabet were touched by Hrithik’s warmth and friendliness. And like MJ said it, we’re pimping Bollywood honey!

I don’t think it’s fair to compare the 1990 movie with the 2012 re-make/revamp/vamped version. Couple of things that definitely went wrong in Agneepath 2012:

-          the Censor Board’s license – U/A – really? how are children supposed to watch a post-rape scene, couple of bloody murders and extreme violence in the name of a ‘storyline’ and still stay awake at night? Or refrain from trying some of the stuff out?

-          Hrithik’s character has no consistency in the adult role unlike Amitabh – he’s weak even when he faces Kancha (Sanjay Dutt) in Mandwa. He’s not so weak, when he faces his not-so-bold or non-dramatic mother. –

-          Supporting characters: Kali, Shiksha, Inspector Gaitonde – are less impressive, since the violence of Kancha and the bloodthirst- not-so-clever Vijay fill the screen.

-          Rauf Lala (Rishi Kapoor) is a brilliant character, but somehow lacking a decent end. Could’ve been a lot more emphatic towards the ‘death’

-          The whole progression of Vijay Chauhan from kid to Don is somewhere amiss – nobody can really say the 1990 dialogues of “Vijay Chauhan, Vijay Deeanath Chauhan” etc quite like Amitabh did.

-          Suhasini Chauhan (Zarina Wahab) is utterly small and boring against an imposing Rohini Hattangadi, who makes Amitabh Bacchan shiver, sweat, cry and yearn for love. In fact, the mother who hates him for his violence, in the 2012 movie, later on almost cheers him towards killing Kancha

-          The villagers of Mandwa are shown as ultra-dumb, money-minded people. Really? Will anyone in this age even be able to relate to that? Satanic colonies that trade cocaine? Mafia that is only full of venom, blood and the Kolaveri (urge to kill)?

-          Hijras shown as clever, scheming people is okay. But as violent mobs? Dagger and knife-armed killers? Come on! Get a life! I know we’ve not portrayed Hijras in Bollywood for quite some time, but then comes this ghastly, scary image of the queens. Don’t compare them with the buggers in Ninja Asssassin.

-          Chikni Chameli – I’d anyday prefer the Kombdi Padali version, but we gotta give it to Katrina – brilliant dancing. Btw, is she trying to reach Audrey Hepburn’s waist-size?

-          Kancha – seems like a master-villain, but again, what does he smuggle? Isn’t he supposed to be rich and famous? Why is he only a don controlling a small village, that’s not shown to export millions of kilos of Cocaine or trade with the outside world? Quite weird, no? In all, I think the movie was a disaster.

If Dharma Productions hope to get their 62 Crore INR back, they gotta make movies better than this. And let’s not compare this to anything from Kaminey or Scarface. Not even dust.

Performers

1) Alisha Pais

Alisha Pais is a singer/songwriter from Mumbai, who taps into folk rock, alternative and contemporary genres. She is also a sessions musician who has performed with bands like BramFatura and The Petri Dish Project. Having played all over Mumbai and Pune, and also at music festivals like Nh7 2010, Nh7 2011 and Sunburn 2011. With the acoustic guitar as her weapon of choice she plans to steadily conquer cities far and wide!

2) Ashwini Mishra

Ashwini Mishra a.k.a A-List has been a rap artist and performer since 2004. A-List’s style of music is conscious hip hop where he tries to tell stories through his music and avoids stereotypes of thugs or gangstas as he likes to tell the story of the environment he grew up in- a normal Indian middle class boy with no pretensions of ‘streetness’. He is currently occupied with his day job in internal branding at TCS but continues with his passion for hip hop and alternative rap.

3) Beena Noronha and Fungus

5 metropolitan strangers found their way to each other through their love for music. songs written and composed by Beena – about bombay, about love, about life! she is accompanied by “her boys” playing flute, guitar, bass and drums. They call their band FUNGUS

4) Kris Bass

Kris Bass, a.k.a. Krishna Kumar Venkitachalam, is a trained surgeon who is on a sabbatical to pursue his dreams in music. He plays bass guitar as the primary instrument with bands like Shor Bazaar, Cirkles, and Overhung. He also writes and records songs for his pet project called Ideat Savant, in which he plays the guitar and sings.

5) Ralf Kamphuis

Ralf Kamphuis was born in Germany. He was grown up with Music and started playing Flute from the age of six years. When he was 10 he started playing Piano. After listening to a Concert of the Vibraphon Player Milt Jackson he decided to play Vibraphon. He started his studies 1985 with Wolfgang Schlueter a wellknown Vibraphon Player from NDR Big Band Hamburg.

A few weeks ago, while The Girl was away on yet another business trip, I was watching some mindless TV & I suddenly felt myself get really sad. It was a weird feeling, because I wasn’t really sad & it felt like I was watching my mind being taken over (fans of Harry Potter might say there were Dementors in the room) by some unstoppable force. My brain was saying, “Huh?! But there’s nothing to be sad about.” But the heart was all, “Help! The Sadness is overpowering me!”. A couple of days later I had my period, which explained a lot. Sometimes I hate being a woman. Whoever designed our bodies was a fucking asshole. Not only do we have to bleed about every month, we also get aches & pains, get bloated & feel ugly & then to top it all – we get mood swings & depression. What the fuck was this designer thinking? Was there any vetting process when this idiot was hired?

Anyway, I bring this up because, The Girl is away again today & I have my period & my back has been hurting for 3 days now & I feel fat & just 10 minutes ago I cried while watching this video.

There are a couple of types that specifically piss me off.

(*Jahil = Illiterate)

1) The complete ‘Jahil’*: This kind of person is the worst by far, doesn’t know jack about anything and will usually quote something religious, with no logic or reason to back their hatred of homosexuality. Don’t bother arguing or trying to explain anything to them, because they usually have the intellect of a squirrel, with really thick skulls that are virtually impenetrable. Sadly, some of them are totally and hypocritically gay themselves.

When writing about these freaks I’m reminded of a news report I saw in Karachi approximately 5 yrs ago. It was about a (bearded) Muslim man who confessed to the imam of his mosque that he was acting out on his homosexual desires, the imam told him that, it was a sin and to absolve himself he should sacrifice something that was dear to him. How this scrotumface translated the imam’s words was ghastly beyond words. He thought the only way his gayness would be ‘cured’ and forgiven was if he chopped the heads off all three of his sleeping children. And so that’s what this asshole did. I don’t know what became of him. But for fuck’s sake, it’s idiots like these that give Islam a bad name. And, what a dickwad imam too. None of this would happen if our people were more educated.

2) The ‘Educated’ Jahil: A living, breathing oxymoron. They’re hard to spot really; they live amongst us, they’re doctors, teachers, lawyers etc. And you can’t tell at first because they’re seemingly educated, well-traveled and well-rounded. But then one day, you’re having a conversation and they say something like, “OMG! There’s a gay guy at my work… It’s so disgusting, it’s just not natural!”

And be warned, that’ll completely catch you off guard. But remain calm – because getting your panties in a bunch and arguing with these types is pretty pointless. Their educated side has usually been glazed over with a thick coat of blind faith. And I have no problem with people of religion, as long as their critical thinking skills and logic remain intact. 

3) The Pseudo-liberal Ignoramus: These sorts like to pretend they’re ok with everything when they’re really not. They’ll usually say things that’ll clue you in to their particular condition, such as “Oh I’m fine with gay people as long as they don’t try to hit on me.”

What the fuck does that mean? Really, you think you’re THAT attractive that you’ll tempt every single gay person that you cross paths with? It’s just as ludicrous as a straight person assuming that everyone of the opposite sex wants to sleep with them (ugh and those exist too).

Here’s another give away. You may hear them say, “I’m fine with gay people as long as they don’t touch each other in front of me…” So it’s ok for you to suck your ugly partner’s face in front of everyone but gay people need to keep it in the bedroom? That’s bullshit.

4) The Double-Standard Douche: Sadly, this type is almost always male. He will make it clear that he’s not ok with male homosexuality, but will make it a point to emphasise that he’s (more than) fine with lesbians. This is followed with a slimy comment on how he’d like to ‘do it’ with a lesbian. Sorry dumbass! A lesbian’s not likely to do it with you….ESPECIALLY you!

I’m not trying to say that any guy with a lesbian fantasy is a dick; just the ones that are homophobes at the same time. Cuz yeah, let’s face it, most guys love the idea of two ladies getting it on. And if you aren’t a homo-hater, there ain’t nothing wrong with visualizing two lovely ladies. But if you hate homosexuality, then stick with it asshole. Be consistent; don’t drop the hate when it’s convenient.

So, there ya have it folks, those are the main types I’ve been able to identify. Feel free to let me know if you’ve spotted any other varieties. If you really want to be sure you aren’t catching a case of homophobe cooties, then print out the following picture (I took it at the Parade, you’re welcome!) Keep it in your wallet. If ever in doubt, pull it out and all possible homophobes will clear the room!
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I kid, I kid. That picture could send a lot of perfectly nice people screaming if they aren’t expecting it. So don’t subject unsuspecting passersby to it. However, if you really want to, you can link em to the blog. And for those of you whose eyes are burning from the previous visual, I’ll post a picture that turned up on my camera after my husband was holding it for a while.

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Ah Pride….something for everyone… really.

Come celebrate some of the hottest grooves brought to you by star Djs at this Worli hot spot as Mumbai celebrates its annual pride week!

**Date – Wednesday,25th Jan (the next day is a holiday! Yay!!!).
**Time – 9.30pm onwards.
**Cover Charge – rs700 before 11pm / rs750 after 11pm (to defray the expenses)

**Includes – 2 Drinks/mixers (IMFL) Or Beer Pints (Budweiser) Or Red/White Wine (Sula),Soft Drinks…and ofcourse our star dj for the night.

**The cover charge also includes your personal donation towards Queer Azaadi Mumbai (QAM) which celebrates its 4th year!

So block the date,get your act together and get set for a rocking pride week and come celebrate the most awaited MUMBAI PRIDE NIGHT on the 25th as we set the tone for another super smashing pride march with QAM 2012!!!

ITS TIME TO BE A STAR,AGAIN!!!

Hoshang Merchant, India’s first gay poet, says he liked being noticed as a gay writer since its difficult to be noticed. Now however, he says that it is a straitjacket. The conversation moves on to Vikram Seth, where R Raj Rao says Seth compromised for mainstream acceptance so as not to be stuck with the label of a gay writer.

Hoshang merchant says gender is genre. Gays should not write straight books like vikram seth . He is arch enemy in my camp. Genres are foisted on the author.

I’ve not read Hoshang Merchant and have not read any of his work. I have read Seth however. Everything he’s written. But this isn’t a review of Hosang’s work vs. Seth’s. As we celebrate Pride Week, I wonder what are we fighting for? Are we all fighting for the same rights? If yes, should one of us limit ourselves to writing only queer themes? This was recently brought up on Gaysi by a reader who says,

I thought it was nice that this blog is restricted to only LGBT-related content because there are few desi blogs dedicated to this subject. There are lots of places for people to read about recipes, general books etc. but few places that are dedicated platforms for desi LGBTs.

I believe that queer people of any race and any origin should be able to write about whatever the fuck they want. If my language is strong, it is because I feel passionately so about this subject. I am also slightly incensed Hosang calls Seth a sell out, though not in as many words. If we are fighting for acceptance, if we are fighting for unity and equal rights and opportunities, how dare we limit ourselves and our imagination. Why shouldn’t we write straight love stories? Why shouldn’t straight people write a queer crime story? I find it deplorable that Hosang expects Vikram to be a poster boy for gay literature and proceeds to undermine him for being anything less. This is reminiscent of second wave feminism when women who didn’t join the bra-burning, men-bashing brigade were considered stupid and treacherous. Since I wasn’t at JLT myself and must rely on this report, I must add this clause… if Hosang does indeed consider Seth the ‘arch enemy’ in his camp, I do worry what camp he belongs to and how big it is.

In the foreground, I am calm.

To be honest this was not me couple of hours ago. In fact I have been on a perpetual see-saw of highs-n-lows for the past 10 days. And it all started from the minute we (Gaysi) volunteered to host “Dirty Talk” as part of the Mumbai Pride Week.

And since we are on an honesty drive here’s another truth to your face – MJ cringes at the thought of teamwork and how! Yes, now don’t fall off your potty seat! This “Breaking News” comes straight from the hottie’s mouth. You see I have always considered myself as this lone stallion (blame the star sign), wandering, exploring and forever learning, leaving no room for dependency. 

But, being part of Gaysi means being part of a team (and a hell lot of effort). However, this is an online space where each member contributes from the comfort of their own surroundings behind their glowing screens it somehow reduces the level of dependence on one other. Or perhaps Broom and I have been blessed with a responsible team. In which case “Praise the Gaylord!” I say.

On the other hand (and pardon my French here) when shit hits the roof, yours truly can be the most difficult person to breathe around. This along with my all my OCDs, the picture is worse than all Ramsay Brothers’ creations put together. And if Chicklet had her say, she would have issued a fatwa against my ways ages ago.

 “Dirty Talk” was pretty much like taking a bite out of the forbidden fruit wherein “teamwork” meant actual working with a team, in real life. In the offline “community” being part of a team means – many more egos to please, favors asked, requests made…requests turned down, at times by those least expected. Deadlines. Disappointments. Dependence. Shit hitting the roof.

And then came a helping hand. Joined by another. And another. A yes. Followed by a yes. Yes! Yes! Yes! (Not in the way you think!)  Patience. Passion. Pride.

So while Adele continues to sing the blues and the final outcome of all this “Dirty Talk” is a few days away, the calmer me smiles.