Gaysi: The Gay Desi

What Does It Feel Like?

The Cathartist — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 04:26:43 +0000

I have never broken up with anyone before. I have always been dumped. Even if I did do the dumping, I don’t think I have the chutzpah to carry it off. I would probably end up feeling sorely guilty. “What if I made a big mistake? What if this was my soul mate? I have to call him before he moves on.. I must undo it”. Yeah, that’d be me. I want to know what its like to feel free after a break up. I want to know what each of my boyfriends must have felt when they dumped me. What does it feel like to feel free? What is it like to be fishing for the other minnow in that proverbial big sea? What is it like to see your ex’s number flashing on your phone and casually clicking on “reject” with the same disdain you reserve for a telemarketer? How does one see a familiar name in the email and not have butterflies in the stomach? What does it feel like to hear a song you’ve have always played while you made out?

I could tell you how I feel.

I can’t listen to Pink Floyd or John Mayer or Coldplay ever again. He’s made it impossible for me to enjoy them without pining for him. I can’t ever have my pictures taken because I wouldn’t like what I see. He was a pro-photographer you see and I had never posed for anyone else before. I can’t ever walk the streets of Bangalore, again. No, no that city would smother me to death with all the memories it holds at every street corner and every jug of beer. And then there is that whole slew of movies we watched together, that’s completely ruined for me now.

So, what does it feel like to be on the other side? I bet it must feel awesome, because being here, just sucks.

A Conversation

Hotline

MJ — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:05:49 +0000

If only our local Support Groups were financially funded by the Big Guys. Anyhoo, there’s good news for the Queer folks living across 7 seas;

“The South Asian Lesbian and Gay Association of New York City announces the launch of its LGBTIQ support hotline. This is the first such hotline for LGBTIQ South Asians in the USA. While the hotline is for everyone, we particularly hope to reach those LGBTIQ folk who are unable to take advantage of our other support events and resources. The hotline is supported by a grant from the Stonewall Foundation, by The Asian Pacific Islander Coalition on HIV/AIDS and by generous contributions from the South Asian LGBT community. Please note details below and spread the word!” [SALGA-NYC]

SALGA Hotline

Thursdays from 5-7pm.

1-866-274-2429

They also organize monthly group meets, so do keep a look out on their website.

Blue

MJ — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:16:04 +0000

I believe people should think twice before associating the colour Blue with anything that they consider of value. I mean look at what happened to the very expensive Bollywood film starring the NoChaatiHairAkshay & CardboardSouthAfricanSharks, Baluuuuuuu. And at the very recently held Blue Apple Festival, Kolkata’s first LGBT literary festival organized by a local NGO named Saathii.

A middle-aged man introducing himself as a homosexual and then talking about his life, his partner and the joy of coming out. “Today, my wife or husband even cooks dinner for my father and my family,” beamed the man, much to the chagrin of LGBT activists around. “Heteronormative,” they shouted. “Why do you need to give a label to your relationship?” asked an enraged lady.

High estrogenial aunty didn’t just stop there…

“Why do we have to define everything in heterosexual way?” she wanted to know. [...]

“I know a label free world sounds very idealistic. But to the prehistoric man, the concept of a society must have sounded idealistic too. To progress we need to be idealistic,” she said.

In the end the one to put a lid on her raging hormones was a transgender activist…

“But I want labels and want to function within their spheres. I am a transgender who wants to be a wife to a man. Why is that wrong?” she asked. [Indian Express]

Honestly I side with the activist. As a Queer person my battle, as I see it is against those who are curbing my choices in the name of culture, religion, society, procreation, and effing etc etc. To me it’s about how I want to live my life…it’s my life. Now whether I am slotted under certain categories, or called by labels or choose to define my relationships the Heteronormative way; it’s my individual choice.

In plain words – call me a dyke and it won’t pinch my sensitive arse – but don’t you mess with my freedom.

So the moral of the story children is, Blue is the new Black word. And you have been warned.

Rekha – Is she?

MJ — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 11:21:51 +0000

Sunday night sitting across the idiot box watching Filmfare Awards 2010; the only saving grace was the teary eyed superbly gorgeous (even @ 55+) Rekha. If my girl friend looks half as hot as her at that age, I will consider my life to be successful.

Anyway so there was the stunning Rekhaji reminiscing over her Umrao Jaan days and I couldn’t help but wonder; while the country is still stuck on her legendary affair with actor Amitabh Bachchan, how come not much has been spoken about her relationship with her hairdresser turned secretary, Farzana?

Something smells fishy no? I mean, the two of them have been living together like forever. And at the possibility of sounding like a pseudo fart, Farzana’s butchish personality is quite in your face. As per Industry Kabootars, Rekha is Bisexual and in fact her relationship with her secretary was one of the reasons behind her husband’s suicide back in 1991.

Maybe it’s just another one of Hindi Film Industry’s well guarded secrets. It could after all damage the enigmatic starlets’ Kama Sutrik image. Though personally I believe it will only enhance it considering how sexually starved as a nation we are, woman on woman action holding no bar.

And those who dared to question the lady, this was her reply;

What are labels? What do they mean? Can friendship be defined? Can relationships be contained in empty words? If anybody interprets this relationship any other way than it really is — it’s their problem, not mine. [TOI]

Most definitely yes, it’s our problem and not hers. But what to do, we are (bi) curious by nature no?

Either which way, here’s wishing the sexy siren many more fabulous years ahead. As for you junta, spare a moment and tell us what you think haan?

Questions View Results

Interview : Apphia Kumar, BOAF

MJ — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:23:26 +0000

In 2008 I remember cribbing about the lack of social-lezzing in Mumbai city. Or most metro cities for that matter. Gay men were out and about but for desi-lesbians it was a sad story. But there is God (yes yes you Atheist folks can shrug your shoulders, I don’t care!) and thankfully a lot has changed since then, especially with the decimalization of IPC 377.

And it gives me great pleasure to introduce you to Apphia Kumar, one of the founders of Pune’s happening Queer support group, Birds of a Feather.

A little brief;

Birds of a Feather is a support group, and not a commercial enterprise. They aim at bringing people together, forming a community and establishing a foundation for the Queer folks in Pune. BOAF is visible, assuring its members a complete secure, safe place for meeting and socializing. It is also about bringing the Queer community together with the parts of our society that are Pro-gay.

And now without any further ado, here’s the rocking Ms. Apphia Kumar…

Tell us about yourself….

I’m young and restless, just the right amount of crazy, a bit old fashioned and unconventional at the same time.

Hmm that sounds yummy (no distractions…focus MJ)….so what brought about the concept of Birds of a Feather?

Growing up in Pune, I thought I was the only queer person here. When I went back to Bangalore in April 2009, I pouted and whined about the lack of a queer community here, and a delicious dyke told me to quit whining and do something about it. At the same time I met a cute boy in at the Bangalore Queer Film Festival – turned out he was a Pune boy and knew a whole bunch of people here. We decided something needed to be done about the invisible and bland queer life here and did something about it.

Any challenges you faced or continue to face while bringing about the creation of this group?

It is always a challenge to let people know that we’re a safe space, we’re family and that you can come get drunk around us – we won’t mind the hetero-slander. Being Pune’s first visible face to the Queer Community we didn’t know how people would react to us. But Pune is a small city, and friends help each other out. That’s what happened in our case. Word of mouth really worked in our favour. We’ve now almost doubled in size and have a healthy reputation.

With decriminalization of 377, what changes have you noticed w.r.t to society’s acceptance of the queer community & among the queer community in general.

Newspapers love putting the word “GAY” on the front page. It sells. On the entertainment & hospitality front, nothing much has changed. People have always been welcoming of our community. The straight allies now say, oh we’ve never had a problem with you’ll. The closeted now consider coming out. The out, are well… living life Queen Size. And the homophobes…? We argue a bit more, only now we have the freedom to love irrespective of gender, and it’s not punishable by law. I should tell you though, Section 377 hasn’t been read down yet. We still have a long way to go for us to have equal rights in this country.

Getting a little personal here…how has your family dealt with your sexuality and your work in the queer community?

My sexuality is not up for debate, vote or discussion in my family. We don’t even talk about sex. Last time I checked they didn’t have to deal with who I played nookie with, I did (And, boy did I!!) As far as my coming out and being active in the ‘visibility’ aspect of the queer community in Pune – Lines of communication are open. My sister has always been supportive and my mother doesn’t talk about it, but is slowly accepting that this is my life.

Mums….they always know…don’t they?! Okay now let’s get to the fun part….

There is a pre-conceived notion that Homosexuals cannot be Monogamous. What is your take on this?

What nonsense! If you want to be monogamous, you will be. It is every individual’s choice not to fuck around and be loyal. It is every individual’s responsibility to respect their partners in a relationship and the margins of that commitment. This is irrespective of orientation. This ‘pre-conceived notion’ is a rumour, is completely false and just a ruse some people use to justify the actions they aren’t necessarily proud of.

And now comes the most important question; Are you single & ready to mingle?

Yup.

Wow what an awesome coincidence, I am a mingling single too. Let’s exchange numbers then, what say?

On a serious note though, we would like to congratulate Apphia & the entire BOAF gang for their fantastic effort and wish more power to them. And those interested in the joining the BOAF clan, can do so via Facebook.

Woman Lust

MJ — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 09:39:36 +0000

Why are women so attractive?
The talcum powder, the perfume
The pedicure touch

Why are women so unstoppably attractive?
The unruly hair, the lust
The sensuous bust

Why are women so insatiably attractive?
The lips, the clit
The well defined hips

Why are women so incredibly hot?
It’s cool, its fine
The kinkiness in you they invite

Heavily inspired from this fantastic creation.

No related posts.

Valentines

MJ — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 08:28:50 +0000

And it looks to be a Gay one this year.

“We toyed with the idea (of queer-friendly cards) for two or three years but unfortunately the law criminalising gays and lesbians stopped us,’’ said Youhan Aria, head of corporate communications, Archies Ltd. “With the high court order as well as the rising social acceptance of the lesbian and gay community in the country, we felt that the time was just right to launch the cards.’’ The response has been positive, says Aria, with franchisees eager to stock the cards in their stores. [TOI]

Not that I am much of a V Day fan…ah well its more like the Jackal and Grapes story…with no guess who the Jack is here. But yeah, its great to see visible positive outcomes from the recent IPC 377 ruling.

So here’s wishing all a very Happy Valentines from the Gaysi clan. And to those non-believers, just remember, there’s always another year.

[Picture Source : Hindustan Times]

Bhook

MJ — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:58:47 +0000

Amusing, no doubt. But a harsh reality of the times we live in. Now if only love could be a little more appealing.

Sex For Conversation

MJ — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:21:02 +0000

This recent post on Gaysi by Chicklet has got me thinking about a conversation I had some time ago with a very good friend of mine. We were generally chitty-chatting about our current partners (yes…shoot me), when somewhat out of context she remarked – “At least I know with her all can be sorted in bed”.

Now I consider myself a very sexual person. Yes, the sorts who regard sexual chemistry much higher than…let’s say one’s intellectualness. But I do believe that matters of importance….issues which require serious attention…should to be sorted outside the bed room and not init.

The sole reason being; there’s no real communication (sorry Missy, Oooosss and aahsss don’t exactly fall under this category). A discussion over sex is more like turning a blind eye and telling the heart “Aal izz well”. Yet many of us continue to follow this trend of replacing conversation with sex.

Fucked up no? And yours truly at times is no different.

Anyway without beating around the bush (no pun intended), tell me Ladies and let’s be honest here how many of you out there use sex as way of getting out of serious one-on-one talk with their partner. Or who’s been in a situation where in their partner’s response to “We need to talk!” has only ended up in pinning the other in bed.

Relationships

Chicklet — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:23:32 +0000

The greatest factor that keeps us all going. One factor that plays the key role in how long a relationship will last.

Communication
The art of listening
Team work
Common goals
Respecting each other’s differences
Common spirituality
Honesty
Compatibility
Love [not referring to our modern day version of love; but the true unconditional lurrrrve]
Laughter
Fidelity
Conversations
.
.

These seem to be vital factors that keep a relationship going for most same sex couples around me.

But what about Sex? And Passion? And Romance? Why do we end up taking a relationship for granted once we attain a certain level intimacy? We tend to assume that we’re regular partners. We forget to work on the rough edges and re-work on the smooth ones.

Is it amazing when two people express romance through small gifts, romantic night outs, sharing chocolate fudge on cold winter nights, pretty sunsets, earth shaking sex in the bedroom?

Or when romance is explored from the desire to create something new…something fun… beautiful and then surrender to it completely?

It would be immature of me to ignore the fundamental heterogeneity of human personality & consider that one thing works for all. It has to be an inquiry within each of us…right?

So here’s my bit….

All the building blocks are lying in the form of crayons in some drawer of my being. And I’m picking up red to celebrate her in my life and tell her that I wake up smiling because I’m so in love with her. And a bit of pink to convey … umm playfulness?

Happy Together

MJ — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 04:00:03 +0000

Twenty five years ago, Thingring fell in love with Roinachi who was serving as a domestic help in a family which allegedly tortured her. They soon married in a temple with Hindu rites. A shocked Fakiraguri village which had not even heard of gay relationships immediately ostracised them. They moved home and settled down in nearby Simlaguri village.

“Had we feared we couldn’t have got married,” said Thingring, husband.

They say it’s a marriage made in heaven.

“We have never had any marital discord. We are very happy together,” said Roinachi, wife. [NDTV]

Awesomeness. Though I can’t help but wonder; who did put the “husband” & “wife” label? The women themselves decided to enact the gender game or the Media assigned them these roles simply based on their relationship modus operandi – husband, the one who brings in the money & the one cooking is the wife. So very freaking apt.

And The Pseudo Crap Lives Happily Ever After

MJ — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 09:41:40 +0000

Once upon a time there lived a King and his Queen. In a mystical place called Swades, also called Hindustan, depending on which actor you fancy (Shahrukh Khan or Hrthik Roshan).

Now it’s an inconsequential matter that the King and Queen were both males. Yes, you read it right – the King and Queen both belonged to the same gender – but the ill-informed people of Hindustan conveniently ignored this (as mentioned, inconsequential) detail.

You see in Hindustan, Homosexuality had only recently stepped out in the open after years of outofclosetphobia. To stand up against Hindustan’s fanaticism towards hetro-norms, believe you me, wasn’t as easy as Salman Khan stripping off his shirt.

They (the King and his King and their band of loyal supporters) did succeed to a large extent in making their presence felt. What they did not anticipate however was the power of Hindustani people and their hetro-focused viewing lenses.

And so even today the King and (technically) his King continue to be judged as per the pseudo heterosexual technicalities and pre-conceived notions of the Queer world. Thereby tagging them as – King & Queen – because you see, there ain’t two way about it.

Just in case interested, this is what my rant is all about.

Delhi nightclubs say entry passes for New Year’s Eve parties will now be available to same-sex couples too. […]

However, it’s not so simple. Afraid that single men may pose as gay couples to gain entry, nightclubs have some checks in place. Sohrab Sitaram of Tabula Rasa says, “We’ll allow gay couples. But will check the genuinity of the couple. […]

For DJ Rummy Sharma of Pure by Kuki, however, checking for the “authenticity” of couples will not be a problem. He says that he has trained his gate manager to check the couples. “It is easy to assess if they are being honest. One of the partners in a genuine gay couple, is a ‘king’ while the other is the ‘queen’. And we engage them in a conversation to check if they are faking it.” [Hindustan Times]

Such bullocks; can’t decide whether to be happy or freaking pissed shit.

Miss India, Thoda Hatke!

MJ — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:54:56 +0000

India is a phunny country; an orthodox bitch to the extent of choking one’s sensibilities and the next minute turning into this fabulous woman high on progressive pills.

I remember donkeys of years ago (yes I am getting old and pressuring the memory nerve is….hmmm…nerve wrecking)…so anyway…Mr. Senior Bachchan was the main organizer and one of the judges for some International Beauty Pageant. Keeping story short; certain NGOs along with various groups dedicated to the “Save Bharatiya Nari” andolan made his life a living nightmare. Because you see, we Bharatiya ladies don’t flaunt their hips, flash flat bellies (if lucky enough to have such a thing), flicker their eyes, cash in those seductive vibes and hai…narg main bhasm ho if they even think of wearing that vulgar export from videsh called “swimwear”. *In case wondering, no the same rule is not applicable to certain Bollywood size zero heroines*

And so began thrashthebeatuies phenomena. Nowadays no sooner Miss India types contest are announced, we have the moral brigade out on the roads dressed in their hypocrite preaching, adamant on saving the nation.

Then at times you witness such twist of faith or should I tag it as luck by chance episode;

The first ever Miss India Transgender Pageant was held in Chennai on December 19, 2009.

The pageant saw 120 transgenders between the ages of 20 to 35 participate, representing different states like Tamil Nadu, Pondicherry, Kerala [Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka and Maharashtra. About 800 transgender community members and representatives working for them across the country attended to ensure its success. […]

Miss India Transgender was organized by the Indian Community Welfare Organization (ICWO), an NGO that is focused on the prevention of HIV and AIDS. The ICWO works with various target groups like gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders, female sex workers and the children of sex workers. The event was also supported by TANSACS, UNAIDS and ACTIONAID. […]

No kaam-chalaoo contest this my friends…

Besides the main and runner-up titles, there were also other prizes to claim, for Miss Beautiful Hair, Miss Beautiful Walk, Miss Beautiful Eyes and Miss Best Skin. [Rediff.com]

It just amazes me to see a country which is still plagued with gender discrimination, caste discrimination, state discrimination, income discrimination…oh yeah we have it all…allows an event like this to take place minus the ruckus. Awesome no? If only we could have such days all thru the year. Wishful thinking, yes, but one can always be hopeful.

Winner of the Miss India Transgender pageant Karina Shalini (C) from Mumbai celebrates with runner ups Romi (L) from Manipur and Padmini (R) of Tamil Nadu

Anyway…heartiest congratulation to the winning ladies on behalf of the Gaysi gang and before I end…let me just say “Go Mumbai Go!”…*suck up losers*.

Shiny New Gaysi Website

Broom - Editor — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 16:49:19 +0000

Hello fellow gaysis & supporters,

Hope you had a good weekend. I sure did. The Girl & I are throwing a holiday party (I refuse to call it ‘Christmas’ because of my militant atheism and also to annoy The Girl!) and we’ve been busy going to all the hip Torontonian markets – Queen Street, Kensington Market & China town & buying groceries for the party and little unique gifts for the people we’ve invited. Although, we realised that every time we bought something we liked we said ‘We could give this to S or D. OR… WE COULD JUST KEEP THIS FOR OURSELVES.’ So we are making another trip there in an hour to make sure we do have gifts for people other than ourselves. ‘Tis the season to be self-indulgent, I suppose!

Anyway, so MJ & I have looking at the gaysifamily blog/website & we agree that it needs to be brought into the oneders. Right now the look and feel is VERY late 90s or at best early 2000. And since this is a ‘family’ effort, we’d like you, our family members, to tell us what you’d like to see (other than nude pictures) on this site. Tell us what you don’t want to see, too.

We really need this feedback, so I request all you readers & lurkers to take a minute out of your precious day and get in touch. If what you like is already here then just tell us that too, so we don’t axe it!

Thank you, y’all! Merry holidays!

No related posts.

Being Gay

MJ — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:26:35 +0000

Perhaps, ‘I got new shoes’ would have garnered more shrieks than my coming out did. Its been a couple of years now and I have realized how perceptions and opinions change once you tell people you swing the other way. They almost see you through new eyes.

When you meet new people (the straight lot, I mean) it is just presumed you are heterosexual. You can’t really blame them since we are brought up in such a heterosexist environment. Coming to the point, the minute I tell someone ‘I am gay’ – there is often a lateral shift in perception. [...]

Read the entire piece @ The Queer Chronicle : Page 2

A Conversation

Chicklet — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 07:23:39 +0000

How does it feel to be in a closet? To be invisible? How does it feel to not have a voice? To be called a joke, a threat, a freak? Disconcerting, isn’t it? That’s why I keep insisting, we should move and must settle outside India. A place where we can live without fear & prejudice.

But, I do not wish to choose the life of an exile! We will carve our own little niche, here, in this very country.

How can you not understand me? I want us to be more than just “living together”. I want access to all basic human rights. I want us to have a family, kids, dogs, you and me, darling. I want all this and much more for us. Uff! I wish I could make you see the future I envisage for us.

Oh ho baby, I would want to raise our kids here, in India.

Don’t be funny, it would be no different there.

It would be. I wouldn’t even know how to relate to my own child! I would be an alien to the language, education system and to the very world they would be growing in! No matter how much I learn of that culture; it would never be enough. We will always remain aloof from each other.’

But aren’t we responsible adults? We will give them a quality life, a well deserved life. I will really try hard to make it all work, I promise. Please, help me with this.

Really? And how would they relate to the historical evidence of our reality? Don’t you see there is just so much more to you and me than what our eyes can see? It would be like leading a split life.

I don’t want to exist between lines.

We always will… No matter which side of the line we are.

Bombay And More

Chicklet — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:58:51 +0000

[At the risk of being shunned by the MNS bullies, we present to you a poem on Mumbai Bombay by our resident author, Chicklet. We are Gay and therefore invincible.]

She bought me my first Irish coffee
In Bombay.
People in a rush all the time
In Bombay
History of past , present and future already merging
In Bombay
can’t trust your stomach with street food
In Bombay
Loud clubs, intimate passengers in local trains , sand and the sea
In Bombay
Surprising rains , old chariot at gateway of India
In Bombay
You have to take chances when crossing a road
In Bombay
Can be a fool for lesser things
Only in Bombay
Maddening traffic , bumpy roads, faraway destinations
In Bombay
Fanaticism , undefined energy , greasy poles for rat race, lovers everywhere
in Bombay
But for me its the city where she bought me my first Irish coffee. Yep, in Bombay !

No related posts.

The Gays Are Here

MJ — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:28:12 +0000

And it’s time to cash in. The most evident and (thankfully) positive effect coming from Decimalization of IPC 377 is Business honchos using the Gay angle to promote their products and services.

There are two ways to look at it;

Eyeing the ‘Pink Money’

And

Raising an eyebrow factor

Since being Gay and everything around it seems to be the ‘in-thing’ nowadays, business have adopted the “behti Ganga mein haath dohlo” attitude. And not that I’m complaining.

Here’s a look at some of the Gaysi-friendly television commercials.

1. McDonalds Happy Price Menu

2. Internet Explorer 8

3. Hajmola

Honestly not too sure about this one. Looks more like a conjoined twins thingy and not a Gay couple trying to up a notch with their boss. But then who cares as long as its helping the Queer cause.

*Much thanks to Reza for sending in the links

Karan Johar: To Be or Not To Be (Gay)

MJ — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:57:28 +0000

So the guy is Gay. I know it. You know it. Your mama knows it. Your neighbors know it. Your cousins know it. Kanta bhen knows….okay maybe this is stretching it too far. But you get the point, right?

Every single soul belonging to the Page 3 circuit is aware; they gossip, link him with several men (King Khan being the favorite but of course), pick on his dressing sense, his feminine gestures, etc etc. And yet when it comes to openly talking about it, they all seem to shy away. A brilliant example of what we call an Open Secret.

The other day I was once again asked; don’t you think Karan Johar should step out of the closet and thereby be morally responsible towards the Gaysi Community?

My reply – As my darling mama would say *ghanta*. In simple words meaning, fuck shit.

You see for me it’s a simple Math. Ideally people should judge one another as per same standards…as I mentioned, ideally. But we don’t and that’s a different story.

We the Queer folks proclaim that it’s not the world’s business as to know what happens in our bedrooms. Many of us find it convenient to stay within the closet; be it because of family, work, insecurities and reasons galore. And there are some of us who are out to only those we find important, as for world, we couldn’t give a flying crap.

Now looking at Mr. Johar from the same perspective; to me the man has done no wrong.

(Assuming) He is out to those who truly matter but plays along the – Find me a hot woman – charade, just like others from the Gay world. He doesn’t want to risk his successful business empire especially in the hands of the so-called Moral Brigade bastards. Not that they are making his life any easier off late, kabhi Mumbai-Bombay bukwaas toh sometimes Kareena ka (no) libaaz – one can only imagine the calamities that could fall upon him if he started yelling out “Gay, haanji haan main hoon”.

And most important of all, who the shit are we to dig our noses in his bedroom activities.

But yes, if he decides to then it would be awesome. Any form of encouragement is always appreciated and his coming out will surely encourage many more.

The only request I have is – boss please no more Kanta bhens, no more stereotype Dostanas and no more gay mockery in exchange for Box Office bling bling. Represent us in the righteous sense or don’t bother at all.

Hope you find a nice puppy paneer for yourself and as for the sexy chories, give me a tingle.

Celebrating With Pride

MJ — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:49:03 +0000

The atmosphere in the march was electric, and resembled nothing short of a carnival. In the midst of startling colours, drummers drummed out the sort of rhythm that one couldn’t help but jerk one’s head to. Hijras danced bhangra and further, up ahead in the contingent, a student battalion from TISS belted out Bollywood numbers like Aaj kal tere mere pyaar ke charche har zubaan par and Tadap tadap ke iss dil, amidst much fanfare. Difference sparkled and shimmered like a defined entity, and in the space of the two-and-a-half hours that the march lasted, over SV Road down to Girgaum Chowpatty, contingents of the various groups representing Mumbai’s sexual minorities matching step and rhythm, celebrated it with zest. [.....]

Better than the real thing. So she makes it sound. A well written piece and therefore a must read for all.

Wanna Help!

MJ — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:37:36 +0000

The Indian Media loves us Queer folks, especially after the IPC 377 enigma. At times they represent us with the deserving sensitivity and care and many a times they do what they do best, shoddy journalism that is.
But let’s not bother with the shoddy crackers. At least not in this post. Cause clearly unke ghar main (gay) bhai behen nahi hain.

A trusted Gaysi supporter & well wisher is planning on doing a story on desi lezzies for a reputed women’s magazine. Topic is quite open; being a lesbian in India, difficulties in coming out, stereotypes, etc.

So if you are interested in spreading the right words at your expense then do get in touch with us via contact form. Needless to say; anonymity guaranteed.

Later then Foxies!

Silencing Them Is Not The Answer

Guest Author — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:44:02 +0000

[ Reader Val's response to Rohit Verma Booo Hooo! ]

I have to start by saying, I am against any form of censorship. Whether the demand for it is made by the extreme right, left or the center. Yes, there are all sorts of misguided people who propagate dubious information to the vulnerable. I completely understand the frustration stemming from those suffering as an direct or indirect consequence.

However, the response to these misguided people should be demolishing their credibility and creating awareness by countering this with the correct information; not by silencing them. In the very specific case of Rohit Verma, after his antics on Bigg Boss, what he says is hardly taken seriously by contestants who are not always (at the time of publishing this article, I think they are) privy to the misunderstandings he creates and his tendency to contort/exaggerate the things spoken to him in confidence and then conveying it to other parties. His credibility at Bigg Boss house is nil. Everyone’s using him for their own gains to win the game show. Needless to say, people like us who can see his true nature, unedited, thanks to a dozen cameras, should have no faith in what he propagates. Rohit is a pathological drama queen.

Homosexuality does not have a clear and scientific proof that can categorically attribute a cause to it. Some have claimed that their attraction to men is resultant of the child abuse that they have suffered. This is their story and indisputable. Others claim to have known their orientation from prepubescent years.. some as young as 9.. How? Why? We don’t know.

Racism, in its more subtle forms continue to exist on television.. The other day on a laughter show, the skit portrayed an Arab as a boy-lover and with homosexual tendencies. The crowds were in throes of laughter over it. This is more clear and easy to define and criticise (should one care enough), unlike those who throw up their own theories on homosexuality.

On what basis is Bigg Boss to size up Rohit? In this singular instance, he had no malicious intent, he was merely saying what he believed to be true. Just as Ismail Darbar announced to the world his mistrust for those with light colored eyes.

Gaysi Prayers for Modi.

Guest Author — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:05:09 +0000

[Guest Author: The Bride]

I’m not quite sure what to think of this one:
Gays pray for CM at Bahucharaji

The reaction of most people (on my Facebook list) is:
1. They have fabricated this.
2. Ok, other news media have also covered it so maybe it’s true.
3. If it is true, then, hawww! How could they?

My questions are:
1. Is a right-wing gay person an oymoron?
2. Is their sexuality relevant at all? If heterosexual people prayed for Modi, there wouldn’t be a headline like: “Straight people pray for Modi”. BUT what makes this news is that fact that they are gay, and gay-ness is not seen as compatible with being right wing. OR maybe there’s some other news angle that I am missing here.

Then again, maybe I’m overthinking this.

FAQueer: Is there a “cure” for homosexuality?

Rohit Verma Booo Hooo!

MJ — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:36:45 +0000

As mentioned in some of my earlier posts; Projection of the Queer World by the Indian Media, Entertainment Channels & Bollywood, gets my balls twisted all black and blue.

And here’s the current reason for my anguish. A chameleon personified. Bigg Boss 3 contestant. Rohit Verma.

For those who are not in tune with the Indian Idiot Box can brush through these sites and increase their GK by reading useless information [Bigg Boss 3 & Rohit Verma]. For those who are aware, let me pull the trigger, straight away.

I am pissed at Rohit Verma, not because;

He is a back stabber
He is a liar
He wrongly accuses people over serious issues such as racism
Raises the bar of Bitching to a all new high
He is a Baba Ramdev follower (so is the rumor)

But in fact what has rubbed my wrong side is this;

According to very openly gay Mr. Verma, homosexuality is a psychological problem. A problem triggered by some childhood trauma, because of which the inner desire of man for the opposite sex is vanquished.

WTF! Psychological Problem?!

Now I am a very liberal person and I do firmly believe that everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. Similarly Mr. Verma is entitled to his own. And he can share this verbal diarrhea with his equally butthead housemates but what is not right is screening such shit out loud on National Television.

Homosexuality as we are aware is a very sensitive social issue in this country, where societal & parental pressure is part of a Queer person’s day-to-day life. The positive effects coming out of Decriminalization of IPC 377 are still a long way ahead. And topping it all we have misguided information being circulated by one of most powerful medium, that too by a gay man.

If the Bigg Boss officials could pull his undies up for falsely accusing a housemates of racism then why not for his displaced theory on Homosexuality.

Gaining sympathy, manipulation, switching sides, etc as part of winning a reality show strategy is understandable but what is not forgivable is nullifying the efforts of many NGOs and individuals in spreading the Queer cause, providing valid information and forcing the society to think beyond the stereotype mindset.

Its time Television Channels looked beyond low-down activities for gaining TRPs!

Fantasy List

MJ — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 07:41:35 +0000

Lists. I love making them. And ever since I have declared myself out in the Lezziedom, the so-called Fantasy List has been some-what a priority. I mean let’s face it; life is short and there’s so much to do!

Surely most of you have a Fantasy List; if not on paper, but definitely somewhere in the back of that lusty lecherous mind. And every time something radical, something that makes you go hmm….happens, you can’t help but wish you get to experience it at least once in your lifetime.

So yeah, since I very much glee on the fact of being the shameless kind, couple this with the entertainment pleasure for you reading folks, I present to you Top 5 must experience items (before my boobs start to sag and reach my 6-flab stomach) from my Fantasy List.

In random order….

1. Lap Dance: Okay, so this may sound like a dud for a start but by Gawd I still wanna get it from a tall, superbly gorgeous woman with a curvaceous body and even more curvy moves. Just like the one Shane gets from Carmen in tele-series, The L Word (aka. The Lesbian Bible). I think it was Season 4 or maybe 5?!

2. Make-Out on a Mountain Top: With the complete works; full moon, wine on ice (and other non-mentionable places), picnic basket, soft white/red bed sheet, etc etc. Mushy, yes I know. Therefore this ideally I would want with someone I am in love with. Head over heels, Can’t live without, Deep, Crazy…that sorta loowe. Cause everything doesn’t necessarily need to revolve around lust, now does it? * rule exception – the Lisa Ray kinds, I’m game even for a one night stand *

3. Threesome: Now do I really need to elaborate here? Gee…such perverts you women are! Anyway the only rule here is that I have to be the one in the middle. No supporting role for moi.

4. Break the 22 hours record: A very dear friend once boasted of her 22 hours sex marathon with her ever-amazing partner. Since then it’s been stuck in head, more like a challenge to my mojo. The maximum I have touched is around 9 odd hours, not even close I know, but honestly the fault does not lie with me but in fact with the other party. No wonder they say we live in The Instant Era. But I ain’t gonna give up.

5. Er…Karva Chauth: Okay now stop giving me that fucked in the head wala look. I belong to the 80s Bollywood generation, what can I say, I have been influenced (or maybe it’s the hot blooded Punjabi male mentality in me somewhere, well so my potential girl friend thinks).

Anyway…I want my missy to keep a Karva Chauth for me someday. Fasting all day long, traditional desi dressing, impatiently waiting by the window for her hard(ly) working Saiya. But what’s an absolute must and totally digs my fancy *hold your breath* the maang main sindoor bit. Don’t laugh, I’m serious, pretty much like one of 80s Amitabh Bachchan films – in a temple, the hero standing tall, the heroine shedding khushi ke tears, hero cutting his thumb and pouring precious drops of blood in heroine’s oil soaked hair. Okay, so maybe this sounds a bit extreme plus I belong to the rare blood group type….but you get the picture no?!

There you go…hope you ladies have been exceptionally well-entertained and find this post to be a perfect Diwali Dhamaka. If feeling a bit generous, do jot down your fantasy number in the comment section.

Happy holidays Gaysies.

Let’s Educate & Be Educated

MJ — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:50:48 +0000

Launched October 11, 2009, the Campaign for Open Minds is one of the many efforts to end homophobia, biphobia and transphobia in India. This online campaign is a response to the alarming surge in attempts at conversion therapy and other negative reactions to increased visibility of LGBT people, following Delhi High Court’s historic July 2 2009 decision decriminalizing homosexuality. We have three open letters, and invite you to sign the one most appropriate to you.

(i) If you are a healthcare professional (doctor/nurse/counselor/mental health professional/medical social worker/ hospital administrator/public health scientist/researcher) in India or of Indian origin, we invite you to sign the letter opposing conversion therapy and supporting non-discriminatory, appropriate, and ethical treatment and healthcare for LGBT people.

(ii) If you are a supportive parent, sibling, or friend of an LGBT person in India or of Indian origin, please sign the letter to express solidarity with your loved one(s) and register your opposition to homophobia, biphobia and transphobia.

(iii) If you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, please join us to sign the letter promoting the visibility of our diverse communities, and appealing for non-discriminatory treatment from our family and friends, healthcare establishment, media, educational institutions and workplaces in India.

For detailed information, go here.

A Moral Dilemma: Being Politically Correct & Not Being A Tease

Ideasmith — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:13:05 +0000

Some months ago, I received an email from one of my readers. She was a lesbian lady who had come across one of my posts on Gaysi and wanted to tell me that she appreciated my support for the gay community. I wrote back thanking her and telling her how some of my close friends were gay and that it had given me a chance to see the difficulties they faced because of discrimination. At the end of that conversation, she asked to meet me, adding ‘if you don’t mind having coffee sometime with a dyke’. Of course I didn’t I told her, wouldn’t that be silly after all I had said? Later, she invited me to a party, telling me that there would be mostly gay people at the party. I didn’t manage to make it to that party after all. We’ve had a few conversations since then, about general topics, the kind that I write about – life, love, friendship, people etc.

In the recent past, she had popped up a number of times on my radar, in the form of her thoughts on my posts or just a chat window saying hello. She has also been inviting me to a number of different events and outings in addition to asking me when I’d like to meet for coffee. I have to say that I haven’t managed to make it to any of the aforementioned events and neither have I made time for the promised coffee. I do have a rather busy social life and when it comes to prioritizing, I almost always place an old friend, a date or solo time over a casual conversation with a stranger. There has however been one thing nagging at the back of my head for some time now. If it had been a straight girl, I think she would most likely have lost interest in trying to make contact with me by now. If it had been a guy at the other end of this interaction, his persistence would have made me think that he had a crush on me. This actually is the first time I’m making an online connection with a lesbian girl.

I thought back to my friend MJ. I didn’t know she was a lesbian when we first met and neither of us actively pursued the friendship. We just ended up meeting a lot of times, hanging out a lot with friends and by ourselves and had become close when I realised she was gay. By that time though, her major association in my mind was friend and being gay was just one of the many things I knew about her, like her hair colour or her last name. In this case though, the only real definition I have of this lady is that she is lesbian. And she has been quite keen to meet me. I know that this may be more indicative of her friendliness than a romantic interest in me. And yet, the possibility exists, however remote. I also know that gay people are able to discern other gays and would logically not expect a person to change their sexuality.

Then again, one of my lesbian friends did indeed date someone who had hitherto portrayed a ‘straight’ face (pun entirely unintended!), even having had a boyfriend before she met my friend. And also, I myself know that when you like someone a lot, it is quite possible to misread or even read a little too much into their actions. The dilemma I face is a moral one, not a practical one. Should I meet her and risk sending her a wrong signal that I reciprocate? Or should I refrain and succumb to that archaic belief that gay people are just waiting to pounce on one? Furthermore, considering that we don’t have common friends or interests, am I not willing to meet her only to prove that I’m open-minded about homosexuality? There’s definitely an over-correction in favour of gay people then. After all by my own premise, equal rights means equality and vice versa. I struggled with all of these for a number of days.

Finally, I decided to just come clean and tell her what I thought. I told her that this was what I would think if a guy reader had contacted me and that I could be reading this wrong but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t sending out a wrong message. She replied,

“Oh god, don’t tell me you got the wrong message!”

and then logged off. Maybe she was offended and I am sorry about that. It was never my intention to insult anyone. But at the end of it, I think I’d rather live with that than run the risk of leading her on.

Note: I mentioned this to MJ who laughed and said, “It’s so amusing to see the hetro community more touchy about gay issues then gays themselves!”

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