GB TIMES

Do You Want Me to Rob You (Or Not So Much)

2009-11-20T08:33:00.000-06:00

In my attempt to get gas yesterday I reluctantly pulled over at my fav gas station (read: one with the cheapest price) and inserted my card. Of course, as luck would have it, their debit machines were broken (and/or i didn't have enough to get gas...umm that could have been a possibility) so I had to go in and pay cash. With this realization, came a dilemma. You see, my kids were in the car. Should I A) run in and pay and run back out before CPS comes whipping up and arrest me for being an unfit mother with my face plastered all over the 6:00 news or do I B) unhook all intricate car seats and safety belts and risk my son wanting every crunchy salty item in site? I went with option A knowing I could get pretty good speed so, armed with my $20, I sprint inside. Of course, the attendant is MIA. Seriously? WTH? I wait. And I wait. All the while looking frantically back and forth from my car to the attendant's desk. Then I just got pissed. Seriously? Who leaves a gas station desk unattended? I could have easily stuffed my purse with today's hot doughnuts, and chips. At this rate I could have heisted 2 cases of beer and a slurpy. Dude. So I walk back and forth saying "hello?" Maybe he had some bad chicken from next door and was paying dearly to the porcelain god. "Hello?!" no answer. Now I am getting nervous/pissed. Half of me wants to walk behind the counter, turn the pump on and take an additional $20 for good measure. The other half wants to leave but I know I dont have enough gas to make it to work. Then, I start thinking, what if he thinks I am going to rob him and he is going to come out and go all guns of glory ape sh*t vigilante on me with a machete and machine gun? eeee So i opted to just stand and wait and before I could spin on my heels and pray I make it to work on fumes, here comes the attendant. All 10 minutes later (do you know how much loot I could have taken in that much time?). This was a robber's dream! "$20 on 5" I say as I hand him my money. He stares at me like I am not speaking English (and/or his language of choice). So I spell it out for him "$20. On. Pump. 5. (as*hole)" He snatches the money and I am out the door...ugh! WTF?

In other news? I witnessed a wreck today. Car v. Bus. I think you know who won. Ouch.

Oh By All Means, Don't Move

2009-11-19T08:42:00.000-06:00

Growing up, I always believed all the men in the church were nice and had good home training, however, as I have aged in the church, I have seen I am gravely mistaken.

Case in point? Yesterday I went to church with my children. Now, in may left hand was my daugther and her bag. My right hand contained my son's bag and 2 full bags of canned goods for the food drive. Across my body was my daugther's diaper bag (yes, she has 2 bags...shut it) and on my shoulder? My purse. My son was following in tow. I tell you all this so you can imagine what it looked like as I tried to open the door. Now, at the front, sits a nice christian man playing solitaire (I can imagine) on the computer. His job? To greet and HELP people as they come in. In my struggles he looks at me and then looks down and continues playing his game. After much trepidation, he finally says, without looking up, "You got it?" I just looked at him. None the wiser, he says "watch out for little man's fingers." To myself I thought, "you know what...ok...stay calm, we are at church." What I really wanted to say was "For real though? You are just going to sit there and play games while I struggle through the door? No hello, how are you? Dude seriously? No no don't bother walking away from your game to help little ol me...I guess I will forge through this door somehow. I wouldn't want to ruin your score." Ugh. To add insult to injury, once I am finally in the door, he replies "where's your husband?" "On travel." "Hmm, he travels a lot" Thanks for your input. I couldn't have lived without it.

Book Report

2009-11-18T16:09:00.000-06:00

The Second Assistant by Clare Naylor & Mimi Hare is about a young girl beginning a new career in Hollywood as, well, a second assistant. The book is entertaining and an interesting and easy read. With sex details minimal, the story climaxes nicely (ok, that just sounds weird). Enjoyed it!

WetJet Indeed

2009-11-17T08:21:00.000-06:00

I realized yesterday, the pads for Swiffer Wet Jet are nothing more but huge maxi pads...go figure...

Feelin Gummy

2009-11-16T09:19:00.000-06:00

You know what commercials you never see any more? Gum commercials. Have gum manufacturers just given up? Perhaps, but let's take a trip down memory lane shall we?

Double your pleasure, double your fun! (not to be taken literally people) Doublemint:

or how about some BIG RED (yes, I do know all the words):

JuicyFruit? (don't even go there. but really? if you listen to the words and don't associate it with gum it was kinda riske...i'm just saying):

Am I missin any?

Driving in a Daze

2009-11-13T14:11:00.000-06:00

Today I was driving home and realized I was totally not paying attention to what I was doing. I mean, I was obviously paying attention, but it was like driving was so second nature it no longer required a thought process. I have noticed more and more, as I drive, I enter into this zombie-like haze (aka driving trance) and don't really realize where I am, where I'm going or how fast I'm driving until I pull into my driveway at which time all I can say is "ah, another successful mindless trip"...go figure.

Coffee Rice

2009-11-12T12:57:00.000-06:00

I got 3 copies of the same e-mail in my box yesterday from my kid's school (already annoying). What did it say? It directed me to send my children to school on Nov 13 with Coffee/Tea (my daugther) and a box/bag or rice (my son). Really? What the hell for? But it gets better. It also gave the option of writing the school a check to purchase the items. How about I write my monthly check and they budget it to purchase those items. Better yet, how about I write them a check for $1 and give them $2 worth of coupons. The required items are for the "food bank" though I want to know what homeless person sloshes across town looking for an outlet for his coffee maker (he apparently already has the clean water, coffee filter and mug/hand). Ugh and how the hell is the homeless guy going to make the rice? Wait til the water on the streets start to boil? How about canned meat and graham crackers like I ate coming up...now that? is a great food bank meal.

In other news, I might have told someone they were stupid during a hearing today...eeee

I Don't Want to Be THAT A*shole

2009-11-11T14:30:00.000-06:00

Help folks. I am torn. I applied to work at Macy's during the holiday for the cool little temp/flex get up they have this time of year. After I applied and received a notice for an interview, I began to feel guilty. Why you ask? Well, because there are a lot of people with no job and here I am racking up 2. Am I wrong to want to have a little extra ching ching during this holiday season? I do have to pay this high as* HOA bill and my son's birthday party and don't forget all the other Christmas expenses that come around. And really? I have this strange exciting fetish with working retail...specifically the cash register. It's like all my childhood dreams came true when I ring up customers (yes, I served a 4 month stint at what used to be known as Hecht's in Chevy Chase, Maryland my Junior year in college...it was heaven). I'm weird. I know.

Now that I think about it, I think Krayzie Bone's Hard Time Hustlin' has become the nation's theme song...sad

Hard Time Hustlin'

Krayzie Bone

MySpace Music Videos

V-Day

2009-11-11T09:08:00.000-06:00

And no, I don't mean Valentine's Day. Try Veteran's Day. Yep, today is veteran's day and I would like to take the time to thank all veteran's for the sacrifice they make so my family and I may be relatively safe (let's face it, there are crazies in this country we just can't protect ourselves against).

If you are a veteran, a lot of establishments are offering you discounts and/or free bloomin onions (see Outback.com) on this day so be sure you mention you are a veteran everywhere you go so you won't miss out on a discount! (most do require your military id so don't forget it!)

To learn more about Veteran's Day, go here

You can also watch a nice yet lengthy (as in 8 minutes) video here.

Enjoy your day Troops!

You Suck the Life Outta Me

2009-11-10T13:19:00.000-06:00

I just came from a audio conference and, I must say, meetings of any kind make me so freakin tired. I don't understand why. For example, in this conference, all I did was read a book and maybe jot down a few notes (and turn the page when the chime sounded), and yet I am ready to go home and take a 5 hour nap. My goodness. What is is about doing nothing that drains all your energy? I was so pumped before the conference and now I feel like someone has awaken me from a 30 second nap. I need coffee and/or a caffeine drip asap.

If You Remember to Not Forget

2009-11-10T11:47:00.000-06:00

Walmart has a daily deal this holiday season. Kind of like a daily Black Friday, go to Walmart.com daily to see what's on sale. Today it's a GPS system for $99.00. Target has something similar but you can sign up to receive the deal via email so you don't have to go to Target.com every day...a little more convenient but saving money is work sometimes right? Hopefully something will come up to your liking. If not, then you know you aren't missing anything.

Book Report

2009-11-09T08:37:00.000-06:00

Yes people, it's been a while but I have finished another good book. Again, people with children (or mothers to be) can probably relate better to this book but it's entertaining none the less. I had a few LOL moments. Tales from the Crib by Risa Green is about a young woman who just had her first baby. It's about her ups and downs and there is hilarity littered throughout. It was a fun, easy read.

My Schedule

2009-11-06T11:48:00.000-06:00

The following is my Kiss A*S schedule. I only kiss a*s during the following times:

Mon-Thurs 8:00 a.m.-4:30 p.m.
Fri-Sunday CLOSED

*Schedule may change due to circumstances, moods or other various, uncontrollable factors.

Just Give Me a Minute

2009-11-05T11:56:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes, the website is under construction. Some of the links don't work (I know) and really I am tired of working on it today so just give me a minute and it will be finished in no time! :)

You Didn't Hear this from Me

2009-11-05T08:50:00.001-06:00

Wal-Mart is getting a jump on Black Friday. Thanks My Big Fat Piggy Bank for this!

Walmart Pre-Black Friday 1 Day Sale!

Walmart is getting started with Black Friday type

deals early this year with a one day sale on

Saturday Nov. 7th. Deals include an Xbox 360

for $199 with a $100 Giftcard! So basically a $99 Xbox!

Other deals include a $148 Sony Blu-Ray Player and a

$298 laptop! Click HERE to view some of the deals.

They are also starting a "Value of the Day" program

that you can see on the website.

What?!

2009-11-04T10:16:00.000-06:00

There is just so much wrong with this...

Alternative to a Money Tree

2009-11-02T19:35:00.000-06:00

Yes folks, the holidays are upon us. And what comes with the holidays? You guessed it, gifts; lots and lots of gifts. Every year, we enter the holiday season with a game plan; a plan to purchase tons of gifts and food with a certain amount of cash. But then, what happens? Let’s see. The house breaks, someone loses their job, the car needs an inspection sticker. Life’s hiccups can sometimes put our holiday plans in jeopardy. No fear folks. Have you ever thought about taking a cash advance loan? Places like checkmate loans offer cash advance loans with little fees and quick cash in hand. You can pay it off with your Christmas bonus or after the holidays. I have never used a cash advance place but did come close last year when it seemed 1000 bills were coming at us at once. Luckily, we were blessed to pull through, but in case you don’t have the same support system I have, a cash advance may be a nice alternative for you. Just be sure not to bite off more than you can chew (like, say, getting a cash advance for $1000 with you know you can only afford $200). Also? Be sure to pay these things back as soon as possible. You don’t want them to bite you in the butt later (i.e. you don’t want to be still paying this cash advance this time next year okay?) Happy shopping!

Don't Forget

2009-10-31T11:40:00.000-05:00

For those of you who are thinking about going out, tonight is the night to do it. Why? Because you get an extra hour of music, drinking and chaos at midnight! Talk about value :)

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T09:13:00.000-05:00

And I know it's easy, but don't take candy from a baby today okay?

Slippery Slope

2009-10-30T10:10:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was in the restroom speaking to a proud grandmother of twin 8 month old boys. I asked her if her daugther was going to dress up the boys for halloween "no," she said "but I found a cute little Tigger costume at a thrift store I will keep for when they get bigger." How cute I coo. Then the slope becomes slippery. She begins to tell me a story of how she saw a little baby in a Tigger costume and the more she said "Tigger" the more my mind would subconciously switch the "T" to a "N" making the conversation sound totally different. By the time she said "and the lady let me hold the baby and I was like 'oh I am holding a cute little Tigger baby...'" I didn't even know what to say. There was an awkward silence where our eyes locked and I coughed a nervous cough and wished her well on her journey home. She began to nervously brush her hair...Tigger indeed.

You're Officially Running Out of Time

2009-10-27T13:53:00.000-05:00

If you haven't gotten your Charlie Brown "It's The Great Pumpkin" fill in, you are officially running out of time. Halloween is Saturday so what exactly are you waiting for?

(yes, this is only part 1 of 3 but you can do the rest yourself...)
Or you can watch a special take on it from Robot Chicken:

Carve a pumpkin while you watch the classic film. Not sure how? Here are some tips:

Now That's Hot

2009-10-27T13:37:00.000-05:00

I saw this in the store Friday while doing my shopping:

Now, let's see...a snuggie for a dog...don't dogs have their own permanent snuggie? It would be called fur and I believe it will suffice...but I could be wrong...poor dogs...hot for no reason. (For the record, these things just look like human dickies converted for dogs).

Toy Time!

2009-10-27T10:11:00.001-05:00

It's finally here! The Toys R Us "Big Book" has landed in a mailbox near you and the sales are on beginning November 1. I know a lot of you were getting nervous because the book usually comes mid October...for whatever reason, Toys R Us decided to take its precious time this year and wait until November (probably something to do with sales). Anyway, it's out, it's big and it's ready to be taken advantage of (get your mind out of the gutters ladies). What else can I say to make you giddy with toy savings glee? Well, how about Target has jumped on the toy savings train? Not to be outdone by Toys R Us this year, Target wants to seal the deal on Toys R Us going out of business and is offering a nice, thick, Toys Coupon book that apprarently looks like this:

Find a full list of coupons and other savings here. I think you have to go to Target to pick it up but it may be in the mailbox too. I will be going to Target after work today to investigate and will update my post tomorrow with the real deal.

With these 2 great resources, your Christmas shopping should be filled with glee, but don't wait until the last minute to get started, not only will you run the risk of the best toys selling out but the Target coupons expire the day before Black Friday.

*Note: I called our store and they have not put the Target Coupon Book out yet. I will check again after Halloween but check with your Target to see if it's on the ball!

Book Report

2009-10-27T09:53:00.001-05:00

The book I read this time may disappoint some because it's really not for everyone. American Parent by Sam Apple is about a young father preparing for his first baby. Woven into Sam's personal accounts of pregnancy and life after baby, are pages and pages of psychological and philosophical information. Because I was a sociology major (and I love PBS), I found it highly interesting but not everyone may think so. I do, however, highly recommend this book to those thinking of becoming pregnant, mothers to be and current mothers as the information is highly valuable and interesting. If however, if having children is the farthest thing on your mind, skip this one...:)

Motivation (less)

2009-10-26T09:47:00.000-05:00

As the holidays roll around, I am starting to get less and less motivated at work (sshh, don't tell). The thing is, I don't want to start any new projects that might reach their peak during say November or December...and I sure don't want to start any fires I will have to fight during that time. Instead, I choose to finish up things during this time and start anew in January. The only problem is I have finished up everything and now I just sit here and look at the papers on my desk...ready to be tackled and I just know they are going to heat up in November and December when I just want to deck the halls and daydream about taking vacation. What's a worker bee to do?