ONNIE B GOOD

We May As Well Address it

2012-02-12T12:05:00.001-06:00

Unless you having been living under a rock (or of the male species), you know that Tuesday is Valentine's Day (yes, this Tuesday...you can go run to the store now). A lot of women I know dread or outright loathe this day but why? Yeah, yeah so you may not have a date but you have yourself right? And some friends? Isn't that all you need? Why do we always tie Valentine's Day with romantic love? Why can it not be for love of all kinds? Sure, I am not in a romantic relationship but I have 2 beautiful children that I love more than life itself and, as I go on my spiritual journey, I have come to love myself more than I thought I could. Why then can I not find joy in doing loving things for my kids and myself? Oh, but I have. By purchasing some cool Valentine's Day surprises for my kiddies and pampering myself with things I've been wanting to do, I know my Valentine's Day is guaranteed to be exceptional (and it's lasted all weekend. Top that relationship hoarders!). And, really? It is much better to be single on Valentine's Day than with someone and he either A) doesn't do anything or B) doesn't put any effort into doing something (I've been in both situations. Believe me, it sucks ass either way).

I have taken time to show the people I love that I care for them and love them. Sure, it may be family and friends but really those are the people who have been there for me all along. Relationships can be so fickle, true love takes the shape and form of people who are there even when you are going bat shit crazy and don't know which side is up. The people who hear you gripe and complain when you don't get your way or stick it to you straight up when you are off your rocker. Those are the people you should be so eager to share Valentine's Day with. "But I want to feel desired. I see all these couples and they are gazing into each other's eyes and they look like they could eat each other up...I want to someone to want to eat me up." What do I say to that? Go get a lion. A lion will eat you up...

Sure, everything may look wonderful from the outside looking in and it may make you feel unwanted and like crap, but, if you look really hard, I am sure there is a story behind those googly eyes. She may be in love with someone who couldn't care any less about her. He may have just slept with 5 other girls. He may have placed GPS tracking on her phone and is otherwise crazed and deranged. This could be his second Valentine's date. They could both be totally drunk. She could be an escort.

Without knowing what other people are going through, how can you be jealous? I'd rather spend time with people who I know love and cherish me (friends and family) than with someone who is fly by night and may or may not be bat shit crazy.

All I am saying is, love begins inside yourself. I used to feel the way you do. I would look at happy couples and say "dang, I feel like crap. No one wants me like that." But now, I see those couples and say "better her than me" because I have been through the mountains and the valley and I know what it is to resonate love and appreciate myself and those that matter. Maybe one day I will have a genuine Valentine's Day date date, but, for now, I am more than happy baking cupcakes, purchasing kiddie Valentine's Day surprises and pampering myself with love that I never knew was possible.

By desiring yourself, you leave yourself to be desired...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Heads Up! (Hoes Down)

2012-02-08T10:58:00.000-06:00

I will no longer be posting book reports on my blog. Instead, you can find what books I have perused by going to my Pinterest "Books Worth Mentioning" Board. Feel free to subscribe to all my boards to keep the comedy rolling!

Enough Already with the Junk

2012-02-06T09:35:00.001-06:00

Unless you have a ton of extra space in your house (or mailbox) devoted for junk mail, you may want to check out Catalog Choice and opt out of all that junk for free. Just bring in your junk, log it in and let Catalog Choice do it's thing. It even works for those useless phonebooks that are sooo 80s...Do the work now, and you will thank me later!

Enough with That

2012-02-01T10:48:00.002-06:00

I find that I tend to put all my eggs in one basket. Why, I don’t know because it is always to my detriment. Today, I have decided “to hell with that”. I have had my basket of eggs stepped on, dropped, cooked or even stolen so many times; I am throwing the basket and eggs away. I will spread my arms and take control of my own domain (well, let Jesus do it anyway) and live the life of que sera sera…I feel less disappointed already!

Stop reading meaning into every little thing. Stop worrying about what other people will say or think. Stop contemplating every little move.* Life a "light" life of doing those things that bring you happiness and fulfilling your dreams. Let people talk, hate, or even shake their head (if they must) and realize they are disapproving because they do not have the courage to do the same. Meet new people, create new experiances, face your fears and start living life...for real for real.

*Please do contemplate your economic future...please do.

Book Report

2012-01-27T11:46:00.003-06:00

What would you do if you had it all and then lost it all in a matter of days? How disperate would you become? Mule by Tony D'Souza is a fast-paced novel about a family trying to make it after losing everything to the economy. Watch as desperation turns into greed and turns back into desperation. You will be all types of excited by the time you reach the end.

Get Your Mind Right

2012-01-25T14:37:00.004-06:00

Sometimes we get burned out…tired of everything bombarding are poor little brains. Lose weight, feel great, eat right, don’t eat at night, I’m hungry, I’m tired, get this done, conquer the world in 8 short days…all these messages can make us wacky, or, unfortunately turn our brains off before it burns out from overload. Silence is key.

Recently, I have been suffering from a burned out brain. When a brain is burned out, it stops working properly and sometimes starts working against itself by giving you negative messages, conflicting or even frightening thoughts or make you sound like a blubbering idiot. You can get frustrated or hurt more easily and you feel tired, irritable and unfilled a lot. When I begin feeling this way, I know it’s important for me to sit down and doe the following:

1. Write down how you feel. And when I say write, I mean, write…write the unabridged version of every thought you have, every pain you feel. It’s going to be depressing or even angering but you need to write it out. You may go from laughing to crying to screaming but you need to let it out…everything that comes out is what has been bottled up inside and it’s definitely healthier to get it out then to continue to give it valuable mind space

2. Reach for the book. I have already recommended Dr David Burn’s book The Feel Good Handbook but I will recommend it again. The first time, I checked it out from the library, but I will be going to half price books (or online) to purchase a copy for myself because I think it’s just that valuable to have around at all times, and I will want to share it with my children when they get older and start dealing with teenage years. The Feel Good Handbook teaches you how to deal with your thoughts and emotions in a practical and safe way and you will fill TONS better just by following the steps he suggests in his book.

3. Meditate. Be silent. This is a hard one. It used to be hard for me to sit and not think about anything but, after much practice, I have reached a deeper level of meditation than I ever thought I could. All you have to do is sit in the dark silently for a time period. I sit Indian-Style on the floor and focus on my breathing with my eyes closed. Soon, I begin to see a white circle between my eyes and I focus on that. It sounds weird, but focusing on this circle does wonders. At first, there was no circle, so I would say “peace” or “help me” each time I inhaled and exhaled. Doing these things keeps your other roaming thoughts at bay otherwise you will find yourself thinking of things you need to do, situations that transpired through the day or other things that will make you even more stressed and worn out than you were when you began. Slowly, as you practice, you will find background noise will suddenly mute itself. And, you will find time will start going by faster. When I first started, I could only sit for 3-4 minutes, now, I find I can sit anywhere from 10-15 and it feels like only seconds! I hope to one day get up to at least an hour. Just try it. Meditation is a truly personal thing and maybe it’s not for you but you will never know if you don’t try. You don’t need any special equipment or outfit. You just need yourself, your thoughts and your breath. You will feel more relaxed than you ever have (that’s why I do this right before bed).

The truth is, if you get overrun by outside influences and stresses, you will go crazy. You will not live a fulfilling life and you will become frustrated with your very existence. That’s not to say all your problems will go away and you will never be sad again. Lord knows I still have my days BUT I am equipped to handle those days in a more positive and less destructive way. Life is all about hills and valleys, you need to have tools for both. Are you ready for the journey?

Book Swap

2012-01-24T12:22:00.001-06:00

As you guys know, I read a lot and it bothers me that some of you aren't close to a library (I am right across the street from a large one) and therefore don't read as much. If proximity is keeping you from reading and expanding your mind, I may just have the solution for that: Paperbackswap.com.

Paperbackswap.com is an easy and cheap way to trade your paperbacks with others without restrictions or time limits. No need to recheck your book every 6 weeks, just re list when you are done and get ready to trade again. Think of it as a type of Netflix for books!

I am not getting paid to post this, and I am not 1000% familiar with the program, but, after reading about it and hearing recommendations, I feel comfortable passing on the information.

Try it and see how it goes...you have nothing to lose but ignorance!

I Know, Let's Demand Less and Expect More!

2012-01-23T12:10:00.000-06:00

I hate award shows, but it hasn’t always been that way. When my sisters and I were younger, we would make frantic preparations the evening before an award show, especially the Grammys. Food was scarfed, showers were taken and seats picked out way before the show started so as not to miss a second. Why the excitement? Because, we grew up in the MJ era and knew we could potentially catch a full musical “movie” during an award show. Even if it wasn’t MJ himself, it was another great trying to compete with him so the show was going to be wonderful no matter what. We also grew up pre-speech time limits (or at least strict time limits) and would die with laughter when music would start to play while someone was talking….classic.

Unfortunately, now, it’s all about glamour and glitz. Who came with who, who wore what, with very little resting on quality of performances. That isn’t to say all performances are crap. Every now and again, I find myself searching for one on youtube, choosing to bypass all the bs and get straight to the performances…because really? That’s what it’s all about. Still, it seems performances are haphazard, many “artists” not even choosing to sing. Why even wear (or hold) a mic if you are just going to attempt to sing every other word? Either sing it all the way or not at all because we, the audience, can tell the difference thank you very much.

It appears that, somewhere along the way, we as fans have allowed performers to get lackluster and half step. We are unfortunately okay with whatever we put out and therefore the artist, getting paid way more than what they did “back in the day” feels okay with delivering less. Why overwork when you can do less and get more? I agree. Is society afraid to demand more? Are we really okay with 5 million rappers on stage…99% of them having nothing to do with anything…just standing there throwing around towels? What is this, a family reunion for the world to see? As long as there is a little smoke and a live band, are we okay with someone just running back and forth on stage and then maybe into the audience and then back and then onto the little island thing and then back and then a little gyration then over? Really? That’s more like a scavenger hunt. The winners are predictable, the speeches are predictable, the attire is predictable…the jokes are predictable. If award shows were the lottery, I’d win every time…Even those being honored as living legends are kind of whack. It’s like, who nominated these people for this mess? Really?

All I am saying is, at some point we as a people should demand more…in ALL aspects of life including entertainment. Instead of the bar going down, the bar should be way higher or is it that MJ and others during that era placed the bar so high no one even tries to compete. There are a few out there that do but they are few and far between. Is It just me or is society as a whole getting lazier and dumber in direct correlation to technology getting better and more advanced? What the hell. The further back in history we go, the more substantial things were done with less than now…now we are inventing dumb things so we can get even more lazier. Where are the free and deep thinkers? Where are the true inventors (no, a No-No and a Snuggie are NOT true inventions)…where are the people that come up with things that, if we didn’t have them today, we wouldn’t know how to go on (like zippers, shoe laces or even paper clips for goodness sake). We should be more advanced than this. Instead we are ok with reality tv that depicts no type of reality whatsoever (except maybe Supernanny, DIY and cooking shows) and we watch people do stupid stuff and involve themselves in staged drama just to make our days go better. We are okay with that somehow instead of using our own brains to figure out how to make us happy and get us out of drama and to do things that actually make a difference. We would rather watch the Real Housewives of Crapville while than helping real working mothers of everywhere to take care of their children. But, then again, it’s every man for himself right? It’s just a dog eat dog world huh. Right. So how then did the people way, way, way back in the day make it? Did they not help each other to succeed? All racism and sexism aside, people were helping people. Not so much anymore. Today a man opened the door for himself, looked me in the eye and let the door close on me. W.T.H. so I may have said “just going to let the door close on me eh? Thanks” This is bullshit and you all know it but there are too many people too lazy or self absorbed or dare I say afraid to do anything about it.

Whatever. Society is a bunch of idiots and I am not afraid to say it. (and yes, I am part of society but at least I am working on my stupidity… are you?)

Book Report

2012-01-21T08:33:00.001-06:00

Some marry for love, others for reasons unknown. It's How You Play the Game by Jimmy Gleacher follows one young man's marriage situation through quite a few dynamic twists and turns. This book is a great and easy read. I really enjoyed it and highly recommend it!

Book Report

2012-01-15T17:55:00.001-06:00

What happens when a dinner guest randomly locks himself in the host's spare room and never leaves? Follow this artsy tale as it follows 3 people who have been impacted by the mystery guest and be ready to end this book with a question mark over your head.

This book is VERY abstract and artsy. If you understand that and take it as that, it's a good read, but if you are reading for fun and don't want to think, analyze or wonder, this will not be the book for you. There were several times I wanted to just say "never mind" and close this book forever but, for whatever reason, I kept reading and finished it (go me!).

Ah. So NOW it Makes Sense

2012-01-13T14:45:00.000-06:00

For the longest time I didn't understand why P Diddy's group "Dirty Money" was called Dirty Money. I mean, who wants to be dirty money? It stinks and has illegal undertones (then again, that may be why he chose it) anyway, after hearing this song I maybe can understand the name selection, but I think the Adventures of Stevie V (the name later would become a children's book...just kidding) should be paid for the idea...

Book Report

2012-01-10T09:10:00.003-06:00

As a lawyer, you can always trust your client, right? Wrong. Sometimes clients lie to themselves and others to paint a beautiful picture of whatever will help them prevail. You Poor Monster by Michael Kun (yes, another one), a lawyer battles between friendship, morality and his professional duties when he meets a client he won’t soon forget...or will he?

I really enjoyed the realism of this book and, unlike other Kun books, this novel has a somber yet extremely heartfelt undertone that will reel you in and make you realize and appreciate your life and the wonders of the world.

Perfection is Unnecessary

2012-01-05T18:26:00.002-06:00

I have never been perfect. If I said I've never tried to be, it would be a lie but I gave up quickly after trying because it's too damn stressful. Unfortunately, I know people who try to be perfect; people who think that perfection will make them the envy of others and their lives 100% better. You may be the envy of others, but at what cost?

I read a blog today that hits hard on this point. Too many people are trying to be fake versions of a perfect self and are succumbing to tragic conclusions. I hope you read this article and are simply encouraged to be yourself and to accept others as they are...flaws and all...

Read the article here and post your thoughts. Stay beautiful people! (and, yes, you are beautiful...flaws and all)

Explain this to Me...Please

2012-01-05T09:43:00.000-06:00

There are a lot of things in this world I don't understand...a few are quite disturbing while others are...well...just weird

(enter "Fred Come to Bed" by E-rotic)

If you liked that one, you will LOVE "Help Me Dr. Dick"

s.m.h.

Leftover Unite!

2012-01-02T13:56:00.003-06:00

I have a ton of stuff in my refrigerator...I can't even see everything properly. It's sad really. In an effort to regain refrigerator sanity, I will be making all types of creations using what is in my pantry, freezer and fridge. Here's what I have made thus far:

Brisket Baked Potato:
baked potato + leftover brisket + cheese, sour cream and salsa = cheap bbq potato delight

Strawberry Eggnog Shake:
leftover strawberries + eggnog ice cream + eggnog = a sweet milky delight (if you are lactose intolerant, drink a couple full glasses of water after this shake or you will hate me for a really long time)

No Bake Sugar Cookies with Eggnog Frosting:
check it out here

There will be more creations coming from my kitchen. I encourage you to do the same. Why waste food when you can use your creative ability and make something genius for free?!

So Fresh and So Clean! Purex Review

2012-01-02T10:31:00.001-06:00

Over the holidays, I was given the opportunity to try a new Purex product called "Triple Action Liquid Bright-White-Clean" (ok, so no points for creativity in the name). I was extremely excited because I have loved, loved, loved Purex since my best friend introduced it to me in college. After using Purex for years, however, I had to stop using the detergent after my son was born because he has very sensitive skin and Purex was too harsh with its perfumes and what not. Fail. Well, I am happy now because Purex now has a new formula for clean!

"Triple Action Liquid Free & Clear"* is 100% free of perfumes and dyes and it's super concentrated so one small bottle will get you through 33 loads (of course I tried the trial version so a bigger bottle will take you further). Purex Triple Action is suitable for all machines and its bottle is made of 25% recycled plastic (for all your go greeners out there). The detergent works like a dream and costs a fraction of the price of other brands (I love the savings).

Triple Action may not be available in your area yet as it's just being "rolled out" but be on the look out for this grand product and start the new year so fresh and so clean with savings!

*Just a heads up, Triple Action does come in scents so if you like to smell your clean laundry all perfumed and the like, you have a lot of fresh scents to choose from!

Resolutions

2012-01-01T23:20:00.000-06:00

The ball has dropped and we are heading nicely into 2012. Some of us are timidly going forward while others are bolding approaching the year ready to tackle what lies ahead. I have been on both sides of the coin and, weirdly, this year I have no apprehension or excitement...I just kind of "am." If you have been following this blog for a while, then you know I do not do resolutions. Resolutions tend to be unrealistic goals we set for ourselves that are either too general or too stringent and we set ourselves up for a quick failure thereby setting the tone of defeat for the remainder of the year. Saying things like "I won't curse or drink or I will eat better or pray more" are all well and good but they are both unrealistic and unattainable. How do you know that you have actually eaten better? Do you count your prayers to know you have prayed more?

While I don't do resolutions per se, I do write down my goals for the year. I make sure they are attainable, definite and spelled out. It's important to actually write out your goals and make sure they have a definite beginning and ending. For example, instead of saying "I will eat better" you should say "I will only eat dessert once a week." Now, you don't want to be stringent by saying "I will only eat dessert on Saturdays" because things come up...what if your friend is having a birthday bash on a Friday and you want to enjoy cake with her? What then?

Take the time to sit down, think about, and write out your goals. After you have written them, read them and stash them away in a safe place to read on Jan 1 next year. You will be amazed how many goals you can check off as accomplished and those victories will give you encouragement to get through the future years.

2012 is YOUR year so take the bull by the horns! Forget resolutions...failure is not an option!

Happy 2012 my people!

Maybe It's Much too Early in the Game

2011-12-28T09:58:00.000-06:00

But I thought I'd ask you just the same...

What are you doing New Year's Eve?

In a Nutshell

2011-12-27T20:05:00.002-06:00

I am totally disgusted by the world today. Disgusted. If people aren't bragging about what they have and robbing from the poor to give to the rich, they are freaking killing each other (including children) and dismembering them. I mean, what the ducking hell people?! Was this shit going on in the 80s and I just didn't know about it? Is this some new shit going on? I am afraid for my children to be out of my sight for a second. People you think you can trust, you really can't and bullies at school are graduating to murderer status. What happened that the world has become such a dark, hopeless place? Does no one believe in the saving grace of God any more? Sweet Lord deliver us from this evil.

*end rant*

Book Report

2011-12-27T09:27:00.002-06:00

Oh the things that can happen while preparing for a college reunion. Follow the main character of The Locklear Letters by Michael Kun, Sid Straw, as he details various misunderstandings in letter form (i.e. letters to Heather Locklear). The concept is genius and makes for a quick and entertaining read. You will see Sid’s life go from good to horrible and back again and you will find yourself cheering for him in the end. Enjoy!

Aww Ain't That Cute

2011-12-22T14:26:00.001-06:00

These are some of the cutest Christmas songs raiding the airwaves this holiday season:

am I missing any?

HALT

2011-12-22T11:35:00.003-06:00

We make decisions every day. Some big. Some small. We all know all decisions have consequences, but, sometimes, we fail to contemplate or even care about the consequences due to a distracted mind.

I have started to use the HALT concept when making decisions. The rule is, never make a decision while you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

H(ungry). We’ve all made the mistake of going to the store when hungry. We end up purchasing all types of random crap all because we are letting our stomachs dictate our purchase. Instead of focusing on our list, prices and future needs, we listen to our current need and give way to immediate gratification desires. Later, after we have eaten and survey our purchases, we are like “what the...” and it’s all because we consciously decided to go to the store while hungry. Now, this concept doesn’t just apply to going to the grocery store. At work, people have learned that I am not at my best when hungry. I have instructed all my co-workers (yes, even my boss) to not ask me to make any decisions while I am hungry. Now, when they approach me, I just say “hungry” if I am hungry and they know to step down. After I have eaten, I visit them and decisions are made...people have to understand.

A(ngry). We’ve all gotten angry and said things that we wish we hadn’t and, though you may apologize and the person forgives you, what was said cannot be taken back and you have a dark cloud of guilt hanging over your head. Instead, take the time to explain to the person that you are angry, the reason why you are angry, and ask for a short break to be with your thoughts. Once you have cooled down (this could take days) revisit that person and talk about the situation. My children even understand that mommy somtimes needs a minute. Instead of going all ballistic on them, I just say "mommy needs a minute" walk to my room and close the door. I do some deep breaths, calm down and the revisit the situation. If we are in the car, I say the same thing and the kids are instantly quiet and give me the break I deserve. It's amazing how you can train people to be tolerant of your needs. Believe me, you will not feel guilty for taking time to cool down but you will feel guilty just blurting out the first thing that comes to mind while you are angry.

L(onely). I get lonely sometimes. Especially during the holidays. We have all called up an old suitor or someone else that we know is either not good for us or we are not that interested in just to keep us company and chase away our loneliness for a few hours. The problem with that is someone always gets hurt. Don’t let loneliness dictate your actions. Find some friends to hang out with. Join a Meet Up group. Don’t go back to a bad situation just for attention. It’s bad business for all parties involved.

T(ired). Sleep deprivation can do wonders and sometimes being tired doesn’t even necessarily mean being sleepy. Sometimes you just need to veg out. Do it. Don’t make decisions while you are sleepy or otherwise tired because you will inevitably rush to some conclusion that will not make a lick of sense later. Just acknowledge you are tired. Stop what you are doing, and rest whether it be a nap, a stroll through a park or sitting on the couch and watching tv. Do what you need to do to rejuvenate.

The truth is, we are not robots yet we walk around acting like we are. Our bodies talk to us all the time, yet we choose to ignore them and get upset when they break down. Just like your car dash tells you when something is wrong with your car, your body gives signals and signs. Whether it be a rumble in the tummy, a yawn or even a wandering mind, our body gives us signals when something is going awry. We perform regular maintenance on our cars to prevent major breakdowns. Why then do we not do it for our bodies? Prevention is the key.

Look . Listen. Live applies to more than just trains...it also applies to our bodies. Look.Listen.Live and HALT before you make some decisions that you will regret later.

I Ain't Sayin' She's a Gold Digger But...

2011-12-21T08:01:00.000-06:00

This Christmas season, don't forget about the gold digger in your life...though I won't totally disagree with either of these songs. Closed mouths don't get fed...and all of that

(and if I could look like her, all the better!)

Book Report

2011-12-19T15:19:00.000-06:00

Let me preface this post by saying, I am NOT a fan of short stories...not even Edgar Allen Poe could hold my attention past the Telltale Heart. That being said, I just finished, to my amazement, Correction to My Memoirs by Michael Kun. This book is a collection of short stories *gasp* and I totally loved it! *double gasp and faint* Treating each as a unique story, even the publisher's notes were entertaining and insanely hilarious. This is the first (and maybe only) short story collection I have ever recommended and it comes with high honors!

Office Laughter Because You, My Friend, Are Bored

2011-12-19T12:15:00.005-06:00

Because you have nothing else to do...go read some office spam. The first one isn't very funny because it's serious but the second one, about lawyers, is my favorite (of course!) and the next one is funny too...i think