Here at GG, you know we love our geek t-shirts; in fact, maybe the only thing we love better is scoring an epic deal on those stylin’ threads. Now through May 31st, you can do just that from one of our favorite geek & pop culture t-shirt merchants!

We’ve already written about their collection of Charlie Sheen t-shirts, as well as the cheeky win of the “Hello” Lionel Richie t-shirt. But one thing I really dig about Donkey Tees’ collection is how quick they are to jump on pop culture happenings and trends. Sure, they cover nostalgic movie, music, and television references – but they also have designs based on recent trends and events, something you don’t often see with other t-shirt sites.

So what’s the dealio? If you spend $50 on tees between now and May 31st, you’ll receive a free drink koozie and a free $20 gift certificate good for a purchase in June. Score!

  Donkey Tees Memorial Weekend Sale

Normally I’m not one for little carved dolls. A lot of them just look … odd to me. Even the ones that can be taken apart to reveal a littler doll and then an even littler one (known as matryoshka or nesting dolls), until you’re left with something super small. Fun as they may be, I could not bring myself to like those beady-eyed pieces of wood. But these utterly adorable Zelda and Link dolls are changing my mind fast!

These two hand painted wooden dolls would make great accent pieces to any geeky décor! They could also make unique collectibles for children or for that man/woman-child in your life that has a deep-seated fondness for the Legend of Zelda series. The creator, Etsy artisan MyLittleNiche, even recommends them as one of a kind wedding cake toppers for Zelda fans. Now that’s geekalicious!

  Twilight Princess Zelda & Link Wooden Dolls ($38.50)

If you don’t immediately recognize the exquisite AURYN amulet pictured above, get out from my sight and never come back. For serious.

… Oh good, you’re still here! For those of us who grew up on the wealth of fantasy films released in the 1980s, the Neverending Story “orin” necklace (as its often misspelled) is an unmistakable symbol of all things Fantasia. Worn by Atreyu (excuse me whilst my inner 8 year old swoons), the AURYN amulet guides him on his quest to save the creatures of Fantasia from “The Nothing”, a void-like plague that consumes everything in its path.

In the book version of The Neverending Story, AURYN grants wishes and simultaneously drains memories from its keeper, Bastian. But while this incredible replica by Plumevine may not offer the same powers, it’s absolutely captivating to behold. Hand-carved and painted from resin clay, the amulet’s detail is stunning – from the lustrous, metal-like paints, to the dual-toned chatons used for the serpent eyes, to the antique look of the included brass-tone chain. Sadly, the original AURYN amulet has sold, but Plumevine offers other similarly inspired designs (though it’s likely another AURYN replica will be listed soon). This is one truly unique item that any Neverending Story fan would treasure!

  Plumevine AURYN Designs ($140 and up)

Personally speaking, there is absolutely no worse place for me to drink my coffee than at my computer. Sadder still? That’s the place I will always need a cup most.

Though intended as a sipping beverage, one can only drink coffee so leisurely. Its ever-escaping warmth always leaves a sense of urgency to finish it before it goes stone cold. But when I’m seeing paradise by my monitor’s light, every other concern just escapes me. Before I know it, distraction has robbed my body of some hot Colombian lovin’ and left me chilled, bitter fail in a cup.

Fortunately, as I’m learning every single day, there are few things a standard USB port can’t fix. This 5.5″ x 3.5″ USB beverage cooler and warmer with 3.5-foot cable will fit at even a cluttered dump of a workspace. More importantly, flip a single switch on the back and swap between keeping a hot drink steaming at 120°F to 140°F to keep you going, or a cool beverage chilly at 55°F for when you feel you need to be slowin’. Even at its hottest temperatures, this USB drink warmer won’t burn disposable paper cups, making it Starbucks-ready at such a portable and convenient size.

It’s the coaster that science intended.

  USB Beverage Cup Warmer & Cooler ($19.95)

     

Geeks don’t drink harder. We drink smarter.

Remind us: who showed you an oversized martini glass that holds a drink so large, it would almost guarantee a blackout? We did. Who sang the praises of the pocket Breathalyzer that not only told you just how many sheets to the wind you were, but also just what toll it had taken on your breath? We did. Now, answer this: who’s going to show you just exactly what will get you drunker faster and cheaper?

That’s right. We’ve got this.

Glancing over our shoulders toward history, we’ve spied a road to one resourceful buzz-on. This DIY juice alcoholic drink kit will turn your juice to hooch, and turn your casa into the low-budget fiesta that never stops. Get yourself a 64-ounce bottle of the fruit juice of your choice; pour in one of the six included yeast shots; seal the airlock top and give the blend of yeast, organic evaporated cane juice and emulsifier 48 hours to turn the juice’s fructose to carbonation and alcohol. In two days’ time, you will be reveling in the bounty of your very own boozy beverage packing an up to 14% alcohol by volume kick in the head.

This is a simple but very, very old fermentation method traditionally producing what is known in Germany as “Federweisser” (“white wine”) and in Austria as “Sturm” (or “storm,” for its commonly cloudy appearance). Actually, those authentic vintages traditionally only result in 4-10% alcohol by volume – not quite the whollop this kit’s finished product could deliver! The genuine articles produced in Europe for over a century often have a flavor akin to light grape soda or sparkling wine, but by all means: toy with flavors. Age some heavy-duty hard apple cider, or try some OJ and create an electrifying orange juice that’s a little more Black & Decker power-drill than simple screwdriver.

Every DIY juice alcoholic drink kit contains six bottle labels, one airlock, one rubber stopper, recipes and six packets of simple, magical, fermenting-then-inebriating science.

  DIY Juice to Alcohol Kit ($9.99)

“Eating” and “drinking” is for chumps with time for meaningless dull crap like “chewing” and “swallowing.” Go ahead – inhale dessert. Suck it right down. Seriously, kids – go nuts!

Sure, coffee and chocolate taste magnificent. They’re intoxicatingly rich and distinctly sensual indulgences that stir senses like so much cream and sugar in so very much java. Alas, though, everyone pays those pipers sometime. Chocolate’s soothing wave of rich flavor also brings in with the tide calories that will hang about the waist and tell a tale of vices, and slaves to them. Coffee? Don’t tell The Sleepless One about its Lazerus-like rejuvenation. For that matter, let’s not tell The Sleepless One all about crashing like a 12-car pile-up preceded by about three pots of coffee in 24 hours. You might as well give water to a drowning man.

Now, take Le Whif Coffee & Chocolate Inhalers. Each 100-percent biodegradable tube inhaler accompanies three 300-mg packs of your choice of coffee or chocolate; the chocolate three-pack includes one flavor-pack each of raspberry, mint and milk chocolate. Each puff from the inhaler delivers a 40-80 mg chocolate or coffee blast that settles across the taste buds (never down the lungs, mind you) and lets the flavor kick the joneses with a cost of less than a single calorie. Dieters and chocolate/coffee-loving smokers, whatever the vice, this is your quick flavor fix to choke out whatever habit fights you kicking and screaming.

Probably best of all, your fixes will never again mean interrupting your day’s rhythm with a single quick Le Whif. Can you make time to breathe? Then you can make time to Whif.

Call me crazy, call me kinky, Heaven knows I’ve been called a little of both – but might the post-coital cigarette have met its match, and perhaps been replaced by a couple of shared chocolate inhalers instead?

Le Hmmm …

  Le Whif Breathable Chocolate ($3.99 and up)

Hey guys! Big news: Geek Gems just scored a major sponsor! So while we perform our traditional dance of jubilation and gratitude (which, to the uninitiated, looks suspiciously like a really complex version of the “Running Man”), please enjoy this word from our newest benefactor:

Hi there. You know who I am, but you don’t know my name. It was hard work and sacrifice that freed me from Vault 101, but surviving day-to-day out here in the gray, God-forsaken Washington DC Wastelands? There’s no comparison. Between molerats, mutants and roving gangs, water sometimes just won’t do the job quenching my big, big thirst.

So when it’s time to get down and dirty, hot and heavy, and very possibly lethally contaminated along the way out here in the Wastes, reach for the fortified WMT (Weapon of Massive Thirst): Nuka Cola!

  Drink Nuka Cola T-Shirt ($24)

Last month, we wrote about the retro-licious Slap Watches, and the fond memories they brought back of slap bracelets from the late ’80s. The folks at Slap Watch were kind enough to send us a watch to review, and it’s equally rugged and modern – the perfect unisex accessory. The silicone band is super comfortable to wear, and once the watch is slapped n’ wrapped around your wrist, it feels very secure and looks uber-stylish. We give it two thumbs (or wrists) way up – and now one lucky reader will get the chance to take a nostalgic trip back “in time” with their very own Slap Watch! Read all the details below:

Giveaway Item: Black Slap Watch ($20 value)
Eligibility: Ages 18+, USA only
Entrance Period: May 23rd – May 29th (11:59pm EST)

Main Entry: Visit the Slap Watch website, then come back to this post and leave a comment letting us know face/band color combination is your favorite. Limit one comment entry per person. Receive one (1) additional entry each by completing these optional steps:

- Send out a tweet linking to this post. Be sure include @GeekGems or @Scarlettopia in the tweet
- Add a comment (one per person) to the wall post for this giveaway on the Geek Gems Facebook page
- Link to this giveaway on your personal blog, then email us the link to your post

The winner will be selected by a random number drawing on Sunday, May 29th. Best of luck to all who enter, and thank you Slap Watch for sponsoring this awesome giveaway!

Down the hatch, morning after morning, goes my favorite breakfast cereal – half of which turns into a soggy fail-mush by the time I eat my way down the bowl. On top of that, at least a cup or so of milk ultimately flows down the drain. I suppose it beats the slovenly alternative, though. My five year old inner being is one thing, but the nearly 30 year old Sleepless One just feels his dignity slip a little at chug-a-lugging the leftover milk and crumbs. So could a hands-on experience with a Geek Gems favorite save my love affair with cereal, while whittling down my grocery budget?

I dug the Obol cereal bowl from the first time we featured it here. A bowl in which I could separate my milk and cereal, keeping my breakfast crunchy as I scoop-and-swoop what I needed into the milk a single bite at a time? Simple! Perfect! Useful! Where, oh where had this been all my life?

I was already impressed before the first milk drops coated the bowl’s bottom. The durable white plastic dish is molded with this C-shaped, textured white handhold in the base, making it so very simple to cradle comfortably to one’s body while reclining. It’s also a necessity, as the bowl is wide enough across that palming it would be a bit cumbersome. The shallower of the Obol’s two recesses holds what amounts to a perfect portion-controlling single measuring cup of any dry cereal. The divider between cereal and milk gives way via something shaped a little like a built-in curved playground slide to the deeper pool for the milk. And here’s where things go from “awesome” to “pretty damn awesome”.

I will nearly guarantee from personal experience that anybody could finish a dry cup of cereal using as little as a half pint of milk and pour practically nothing down the drain. Think of what cup after cup of wasted milk would’ve ultimately added up to over a week or a month. Another half-gallon? A full gallon? That couple bucks doesn’t seem like much this shopping trip, but over a year, that savings shall keep your treasure troves of Fruity Pebbles running over. Your only problem will be what you’re to do with all those extra prizes from the bottoms of all those extra boxes of cereal you can suddenly stockpile, you Seinfeldian saver, you!

I own few kitchen implements and gadgets that each day I truly relish using, and the Obol cereal bowl is useful enough to be favored among the few, right alongside my ESPN Sportszone “Chalice of Colombian Caffeination”. For casual users and cereal connoisseurs alike, the Obol gets two solid thumbs-up!

  Obol: The Original Crispy Bowl ($19.99)

Etsy artisan BaconFactory creates the most stunning word burned art portraits I’ve ever seen – and I absolutely love how many of the subjects are decidedly geeky in nature.

Hang the Joker portrait from The Dark Knight and ask your guests, “why so serious?” Or perhaps an iconic pose from the Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter films would make a perfect nod to your fandom of their respective series. Star Wars and World of Warcraft are also duly represented (the pyrography portrait of a Night Elf is especially breathtaking). And for those wanting to pay homage to silver screen Hollywood ingénues, Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn are yours for the wood burned bliss.

Insert obligatory joke about how they already give you “wood” here. ;)

  BaconFactory Pyrography Art ($44.90)