geek bone

My (ever-growing) XBOX 360 Games Library

2012-03-06T22:42:00.001+08:00

Copy & Play XBOX 360 ISO Files From An External Drive

2012-02-20T22:33:00.000+08:00

As a newcomer to XBOX Jailbreaking and JTAG, it was very difficult for me to find any clear tutorials on how to get my downloaded XBOX 360 ISO files onto my external hard drive. I am lucky to live in a country where dubious services are easy to come by and I had someone do all of the aforementioned tasks for me. So to return the favor here is my simplified tutorial on getting your precious ISO files onto your external HD for you to enjoy some good ol' fashioned pirate-friendly gaming!

Please note this tutorial is NOOB friendly so the more experienced can skim through and get things done faster.

Requirements

A Jailbroken and JTAG-ed XBOX 360 (I have the 4GB Slim version)
An external hard drive formatted as FAT32 and not NTFS - Your XBOX 360 can only read drives formatted in this archaic mode. (I have a 500GB Seagate drive with a 100GB FAT32 partition for my XBOX needs)
FAT32 Format - this is for formatting your large external drive as FAT 32
7Zip or WinRAR - to extract the Freestyle Dash files
ISO of your XBOX 360 game of choice (TPB)
XBOX Backup Creator - This will let you unpack those yummy ISO files into the file structures that your XBOX 360 can read and play.
Freestyle Dash - this was the custom dashboard used by the guys who set my XBOX 360 and external HD up. (link updated to FSD 2.2)

Step One - Formatting your external drive

One of the drawbacks with the FAT32 file system is that it technically cannot be used for drives larger than 32GB. This is where FAT32 Format comes in and it's as simple as it gets.

Open up the FAT32 Format application.
Choose your drive from the top drop-down menu, make sure Quick Format is checked, then click Start at the bottom. You should have a FAT32 formatted drive within a few seconds.

Step Two- Installing Freestyle Dash on your external hard drive

Open up the FSDInstaller.7z and extract only the folder named "FSD" to the root of your external hard drive.

Now open up Notepad and copy and paste the following code into a blank document then Save As LAUNCH.INI (make sure its file name extension is .INI and not .TXT). Save this file in the root of your external hard drive as well and your FSD is all set. The purpose of this launch.ini file is to tell your JTAG XBOX to load FSD on boot up.

[QuickLaunchButtons]

BUT_X = Hdd:\Content\0000000000000000\C0DE9999\00080000\C0DE99990F586558

Default = Usb:\FSD\default.xex

[Settings]

nxemini = true

pingpatch = true

Step Three - Unpacking your XBOX 360 iso

Open up XBOX Backup Creator and click on the Image Tools tab.
Click on Image Browser. This will open up the XBOX Image Browser sub-app.
Click on File then Open Image File.
From here navigate to the iso game file you downloaded and click Open.
Next, right click on the iso file that appears on the left pane of the app and click on Extract.

Now choose the location you want to save your game in. This can be anywhere you fancy but I highly recommend putting it in an appropriately named folder INSIDE the GAMES folder which now sits in your external HD (eg h:\games\halo reach\) This will start the lengthy extraction process so take a break and come back after a few minutes.

Step Four - Loading up your game using Freestyle Dash on your XBOX 360

Unfortunately, I cannot take screenshots of my XBOX 360 display so please bear with the all-text tutorial from hereon-in.

Plug in your external hard drive to a USB port on your JTAG XBOX360. Your console will now boot up straight into Freestyle Dash. Before you can play your games you need to tell FSD where they should be loaded from.
From the main screen, choose Settings and then Content Settings and then Game Path
Select Choose Path and then locate your games folder on your hard drive. Choose USB0, press A, choose GAMES, press A, and then press Y to select this folder.
Next, press X to save your game path and it should appear on the right pane of the screen.
Get back to the main menu and choose XBOX 360 Games and you will be taken to the game selection screen where your precious extracted ISOs can finally be enjoyed.

Note: There is a minor glitch where not all the games you have in your Games folder will turn up in the game selection screen. Oddly enough some games find their way in the other menus such as HOMEBREW GAMES/APPS. So simply choose that option from the main menu and you should see your 'missing' games there. If you are finicky like me, you will want to highlight the misplaced games there and press Y for options. Choose MOVE from the menu that pops up and select XBOX 360 Games as the new location and all your lovely games should now be in the main XBOX 360 Games selection screen.

Voila! I hope that help all the newbies like me. Please leave a comment if you run into any trouble. Enjoy!

You Had Me At "You Suck"

2011-10-23T00:38:00.000+08:00

I recently came upon an article written by a Filipino-Chinese who shared her thoughts on what was wrong with The Philippines. The piece was titled “Why The Philippines Sucks”. It was a typical tirade that we’ve all heard before except maybe for the fact that she personally knew some victims of heinous crimes here and witnessed firsthand the equally inept bureaucracy that handled the cases. However, it wasn’t the content of her article that I’m writing about but some of the comments it received. One in particular struck a (dissonant) chord. It was actually from someone I knew personally and what he said basically was that he was tired of Filipinos hating and complaining about the state of our country. He said that those very same people are what’s wrong with the Philippines and what they ought to do is to take some action and stop the whining. This made me reflect on my current conduct.

Help me help you! Oh wait, wrong scene...

As attested to by my other blog entries here, I myself have a tendency to state my complaints (or what I’d like to think of as commentary) about the issues I see in everyday Filipino life. On the other hand I actually do take action (as minor as they may seem) instead of just bitching. For one thing I am a law-abiding citizen. I follow even the most basic traffic rules. I fall in line and wait my turn. I smile at customer service people and say thank you each time I get served adequately. So here I am, setting a so-called example, but who’s following? I feel like Jerry Maguire when he resigned from work asking, “Who’s coming with me?” The fact is most Filipinos are so content and used to the way of life here that a slow, methodical change of our systems doesn’t seem to be worth their precious time. To me, one phrase that exemplifies the way of the Filipino is, “Pwede na yan!” and with that mindset, we’re probably going to be stuck here for quite some time.

*I am aware I come off as a self-righteous bastard and maybe I am, but when I bitch for change at least I try to do my part no matter how small it may seem at first.

From Sketch To Screen

2011-09-28T17:16:00.002+08:00

A lot of the traffic that gets driven to my blog is mainly due to the Script To Screen series focusing on the comic book to live-action visual comparisons. So now I've decided to run another blog/site dedicated solely to that series and it's called From Sketch To Screen this time.

From Sketch To Screen will be a more comprehensive database if you will of all the characters I've covered before and will will continue to feature in the future. Each character from DC, Marvel, and various imprints will have their own page with a detailed rundown of the individual appearances they've made on both TV and on film.

Check it oooot!

SCRIPT TO SCREEN: Part 1: Marvel Heroes (Sept 25 Update)

2011-09-25T01:02:00.000+08:00

What started out as a quick & dirty blog idea on doing a side-by side look at how comic book heroes have been visually translated on screen has now blown out to me going nuts trying to do a comparison for virtually every major comic book hero/villain that's made an appearance on screen!

So I thought I'd start with the solo heroes from Marvel, then the teams, and move on to the villains. I'll do Marvel first then DC then the rest.

Update Sept 25 - Hawkeye, Nick Fury
Update: July 25 - Spider-Man, Captain America, and Thor

NICK FURY
Portrayed by: David Hasselhoff [Nick Fury: Agent Of Shield (1998 TV);] Samuel L. Jackson [Iron Man (1998); Iron Man 2 (2010); Thor (2011); Captain America (2011); The Avengers (2012)]

Before the Iron Man movie from 2008, I had no idea there was an alternate, "Ultimate", black-guy version of Nick Fury so imagine my surprise when the extra scene showed up at the end of that movie with Sam Jackson as the colonel. I also very recently discovered that Nick Fury has also been played on TV by none other then The Hoff himself. Awesome!

HAWKEYE
Portrayed by: Jeremy Renner [Thor (2011); The Avengers (2012)]

I loved Hawkeye as a kid. I wasn't a big Marvel reader but I did have a number of Avengers issues. Anyway I'm kinda glad they didn't give him his comic book, Wolverine-like headgear for the movies but we've yet to see how Jeremy Renner and the writers portray Hawkeye. Fingers crossed.

THOR
Portrayed by: Chris Hemsworth [Thor (2011)]

Thor wasn't a bad movie (wasn't great either) as it had out of this world special effects but the stare-at-each-other's-eyes-and-then-giggle-like-girls romantic scenes were cringe-worthy. Chris Hemsworth did a nice job in the role of the once-arrogant God of Thunder. The costume was pretty cool too.

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Portrayed by: Dick Purcell [Movie Serial (1944)]; Reb Brown [TV] (1979); Matt Salinger [Captain America (1991)]; Chris Evans [Captain America (2011)]

I recently found out that the 1991 Captain America movie wasn't the first time Cap appeared live on screen. He starred in a movie serial released in 1944 but the Steve Rogers character was replaced with a guy named Grant Gardner and his trademark shield was nowhere to be found being replaced instead with a pistol. How American!

The next live action Cap features were several TV movies where we see him wearing a motorcycle helmet instead of the winged mask.

Then there was the OK movie from the 90's and now of course the latest Marvel offering with Chris Evans as Steve Rogers (both buff and very skinny pre-Super Soldier Serum version).

IRON MAN
Portrayed by: Robert Downey Jr. [Iron Man (2008)] [Iron Man 2 (2010)]
Well who'd have thunk it? The Iron Man movie was pretty damn cool. I was never a fan of the character in the comic books, mostly due to the fact that I'm a DC fan, but this movie, along with the Civil War comic series, made me realize that Tony Stark was quite an interesting character. Obviously Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal played a big part in this realization, but he can make any character interesting anyway (can't wait till Tropic Thunder opens here)

WOLVERINE
(included here due to the future solo movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine)
Portrayed by: Hugh Jackman [X-Men, X-2, X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, X-Men: First Class] (2000, 2003, 2006, 2009, 2011)
A 6-foot tall, singing & dancing, Australian Wolverine?!? No friggin fan-boy way! So was the cry of most fans when they heard Aussie stage actor Hugh Jackman was to play mean ol' Logan in the X-Men movies. Well as far as I know, everyone was blown away by Mr. Jackman's performance as Wolverine. No one cared in the end if he wasn't 5-foot-3 like in the comics nor did anyone even talk aboot his lack of a Canadian accent. What can I say, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine was just plain cool.

HULK
Portrayed by: Lou Ferrigno, Bill Bixby [TV] (1978); Eric Bana [Hulk] (2003); Ed Norton [The Incredible Hulk] (2008)
The latest Incredible Hulk movie seems to have strengthened the new trend in comic book to movie adaptations started by Batman Begins. That is if your last attempt at the character didn't work, start from scratch and have a do-over. The others that have done this are The Punisher and the upcoming Superman revamp. Sadly even though 2008's Incredible Hulk was better than Ang Lee's yawn-fest, Hulk, it was still just an average action flick.

THE PUNISHER
Portrayed by: Dolph Lundgren [The Punisher] (1989); Thomas Jane [The Punisher] (2004); Ray Stevenson [Punisher: War Zone] (2008)
For a second-tier character, Frank Castle, aka The Punisher has had quite a few movie adaptations. The first movie starred Dolph Lundgren of Rocky IV and He-Man fame. I remember seeing this as a kid but can hardly remember anything from it. The next version starred one of my favorites, Thomas Jane. Sadly his boyish good looks really took a lot away from the supposed grittiness of the character. The latest to play Mr. Castle is the fairly unknown Irish actor Ray Stevenson. We will get to see what he'll bring to the table this December in Punisher: War Zone (which I honestly think will stink).

SPIDER-MAN
Portrayed by: Nicholas Hammond [The Amazing Spider-Man TV] (1977); Tobey Maguire [Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man 3] (2002, 2004, 2007); Andrew Garfield [The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)]

My cousin & I had this feud when we were little kids. He was a big Spider-Man nut and I was the Batman geek (erm, I mean AM, I still AM). Anyway I hated Peter Parker because he had the hot girlfriend-wife-to-be Mary Jane Watson while Bruce Wayne, the playboy, could never really settle down with any of the women he fell for. Mostly coz he fell for the psychotic ones like Selina "Catwoman" Kyle.

Just a little FYI, Nicholas Hammond played Friedrich, one of the Von Trapp children in The Sound Of Music movie.

BLADE
Portrayed by: Wesley Snipes [Blade, Blade 2, Blade: Trinity] (1998, 2002, 2004); Kirk 'Sticky Fingaz' Jones [Blade: The Series TV] (2006)
Much to my surprise, almost no one I've spoken to that's seen Blade 2 actually like the movie. I loved it! Guillermo Del Toro is a comic book geek and he made this flick look outstanding and very, very comic book like. What's wrong with you people?

DAREDEVIL
Portrayed by: Ben Affleck [Daredevil] (2003)
The movie was a joke but I'll be honest, Ben Affleck sure looked like Matt Murdoch in costume to me! Oh and this movie is responsible for giving the world Beniffer! Groan!

GHOST RIDER
Portrayed by: Nicholas Cage [Ghost Rider] (2007)
A B-grade movie for a B-grade character. I have no idea why they made this movie. But at least Ghost Rider looked the part.

ELEKTRA
Portrayed by: Jennifer Garner [Daredevil, Elektra] (2003, 2005)
Another B-grade movie for a another B-grade character. Aside from the bandana, the costume was pretty faithful to the comics.

SILVER SURFER
Portrayed by: Doug Jones [4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer] (2007)
What I thought would definitely be an all-CG character turned out to be a mix of special effects and amazing costume work. What's with the Lawrence Fishburne voice though?!? I thought it was so out of place since I never imagined SS to have such a deep sounding black man's voice!

SCRIPT TO SCREEN: Part 4: DC Heroes (July 25 Update)

2011-07-25T00:57:00.002+08:00

And now we'll cover the DC characters by starting with the major heroes roster. There have been a lot of characters making cameos (especially in the Smallville series) but have not appeared in their respective costumes so I've decided to leave them out for the time being.

UPDATE: July 25 - Green Lantern

GREEN LANTERN
Portrayed by: Ryan Reynolds [Green Lantern (2011)]

Interesting move by the producers to do Green Lantern's costume as CGI - their reasoning being that the suit is alien so it shouldn't be anything like what we have on Earth. Ryan Reynolds looks extremely slim from the movie still I've seen. (I haven't watched the film and will wait for it to come out as a torrent)

BATMAN
Portrayed by: Lewis Wilson [Batman Movie Serial (1943)]; Robert Lowery [Batman and Robin Movie Serial (1949)]; Adam West [Batman TV Series (1960), Batman The Movie (1966)]

The Batman's costume sure has come a long way since those 1940's movie serials. For more info and pics of the later incarnations of Batman on screen, read my previous feature on the Batsuit's evolution here.

SUPERMAN
Portrayed by: Kirk Alyn [Superman Movie Serial (1948)]; George Reeves [Superman & The Molemen, Superman TV Series (1951)]; Christopher Reeve [Superman (1978), Superman II (1980), Superman III (1983), Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1986)]; Dean Cain [Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman TV Series (1993)]; Michael O’Hearn [World’s Finest fanfilm (2004)]; Brandon Routh [Superman Returns (2006)]

I intentionally did not include Tom Welling's Clark Kent character from Smallville here since he's never worn nor is he ever supposed to wear the Superman costume in the TV series.

ROBIN
Portrayed by: Douglas Croft [Batman Movie Serial (1943)]; Johnny Duncan [Batman and Robin Movie Serial (1949)]; Burt Ward [Batman TV Series, Batman The Movie (1966)]; Chris O’ Donnell [Batman Forever (1995), Batman & Robin (1997)]; John Fiorella [Grayson fanfilm (2004)]

I did not include the 3rd and 4th costume worn by Chris O' Donnell in Batman & Robin since those were more akin to the Nightwing costume design than the traditional Robin's.

BAT-GIRL
Portrayed by: Yvonne Craig [Batman TV Series (1966)]; Alicia Silverstone [Batman & Robin (1997)]; Dina Meyer [Birds Of Prey TV Series (2004)]

I liked the Batgirl costume worn by Dina Meyer which I'd guess was very much influenced by the Batman Animated Series Batgirl. The latest comics version of the character now wears a very BDSM-like leather mask covering the entire face.

THE FLASH
Portrayed by: John Wesley Shippe [The Flash TV Series (1996)]; Kenny Johnston [Justice League of America TV Pilot (1997)]

I watched the 1996 TV series regularly and I thought the costume was pretty nifty. Looking back at it, I guess it still is but now I question why they decided to make Barry Allen ultra-muscular. The 1997 JLA pilot was a joke so the costumes and even character adaptations were askew as well. Trust me, I watched it.

SUPERGIRL
Portrayed by: Helen Slater [Supergirl The Movie (1984)]

Again I did not include the Smallville version of this character because as far as I know, just like her Kryptonian cousin, she hasn't appeared in costume yet.

STEEL
Portrayed by: Shaquille O'Neal [Steel (1997)]

Did they really need to cast a 7-foot tall man to play John Henry Irons? Sure Shaq is charismatic & all but my god did he look akward in that suit.

WONDER WOMAN
Portrayed by: Lynda Carter [Wonder Woman TV Series (1975)]

Lynda Carter sure was hot enough to play the Amazonian Princess. The live-action movie slated for 2011 is looking more and more like a no-go but I never had my hopes up for it anyway unless they write her character like the later comics version where she's a much more headstrong and even slightly unbalanced Warrior Princess.

HELLBLAZER: JOHN CONSTANTINE
Portrayed by: Keanu Reenes [Constantine (2005)]

Total miscast here. Keanu just wasn't anywhere near as interesting (or British) as his comic book counterpart. Costume-wise, it's really hard to screw up the trench coat look so besides the darker color choice, it's pretty much alright. Oh and it's pronounced Constan-TYNE!

HONORABLE MENTIONS
The Spirit (2008) Gabriel Macht; Swamp Thing (1982)/Return Of The Swamp Thing (1989) Louis Jourdan; Adventures of Captain Marvel (1941) Tom Tyler; Black Canary [Birds Of Prey (2002) Rachel Skarsten; Smallville (2008) Alaina Huffman]; Huntress [Birds Of Prey (2002) Ashley Scott]; Green Arrow [Smallville (2007) Justin Hartey]; Aquaman [Smallville (2007) Alan Ritchson]

Next up we shall take a look at the DC "teams": League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Justice League Of America, & Watchmen.

Resume, Doh!

2011-03-16T01:05:00.002+08:00

I work together with the Human Resources (HR) department and as part of my job I do get to see around 25 resumes each day from call center applicants. The hilarity ensuing from these is almost enough to numb the pain of interviewing those very people every day. There is an outdated tumblog with a collection of interview fails (or sometimes wins) that can be found here but I am not at liberty to say who used to run it (me).

Thank you for the laughs guys. Now I thought I'd give some love back and enumerate a few key points that local call center applicants should follow when it comes to resume writing.

List your work experience in reverse chronological order.

If you're applying for a web designer position then no one cares if you worked as a cashier at McDonald's ten years ago when you were 15. If you still feel the need to mention your fast food experience then shove that info all the way down the list because your prospective employer's main concern is your most recent & most significant work experience.

Make sense, damn it!

If you want to put your objectives in your CV then make sure you are coherent in doing so. Don't just string together all the high-level industry jargon you know into one long run-on sentence. The following is a real life example of what NOT to write.

"To be of service and to be attached to the company with stable and firm foundation, well established and fast growing both financial and interpersonal relations. To achieve optimum personal and professional growth. Skill, creativity and innovation."

It's your own resume, not your family's

Some people have a strange need to put unnecessary information in their resumes. There are a number of people who include their father and mother's name plus their occupations to boot. Some even mention their siblings and what year they are in school. Seriously, no one cares about that crap.

Being tall and sexy is insignificant

It's probably a cultural thing and what we Filipinos are used to, but unless you're trying out for the Miss Universe pageant there is absolutely no need to include your height and weight in your personal information. Some countries like Australia even forbid the inclusion of a photo in your resume because it might sway the impending decision of employment, ultimately meaning discrimination.

HR people do not like jumpers

If you are an experienced applicant but have a history of working in different places for short periods of time (3-6 months) try not to include that information in your resume unless you have a very valid reason for continuously jumping ship (medical emergency, death in the family, sexual harassment case, end of the world, etc). The HR folks will always think you are not capable of committing to any job. Instead, just include the lengthiest experience you have and mention in detail all the responsibilities you had for that job.

Don’t strike a pose

You might be a frustrated model-slash-actor but please try and use a professional looking headshot for your resume. Countless times have I seen profiles with ridiculous photos attached. Some use the tried and tested ‘emo’ angle from above the head. Some use cropped group photos where you can see the shoulders of people standing beside them. I even encountered a guy who submitted a full body shot, in jeans and sneakers, in his CV.

Remember you want to appear professional no matter what job you are applying for and this relates to everything from your resume, to your attire, and all the way to your decorum. Smile when you’re being interviewed, don’t let Mr. Crankypants HR person get to you.

Words Of Wisdom

2011-02-23T03:11:00.000+08:00

Funny how some quotes stick to you all your life, some for the wrong reasons. Here's a priceless nugget from a high school classmate of mine who thought he knew it all at the age of 15.

"Girls don't dig guitar players because they have rough, calloused hands" -Divad Onairam*

It has to be mentioned that Divad didn't know how to play the guitar so chalk this one up to spitefulness.

*not real name

I Game To Complain: Gran Turismo 5

2011-02-19T02:00:00.003+08:00

Why I Sold My Copy Of Gran Turismo 5

I prefer sim racers over arcade ones like the Burnout series but Gran Turismo 5, the self-proclaimed king of driving sims, despite it's realistic trappings and awesome visuals, left me wanting a lot more. In this case my money back.

Menu/User Interface

Merriam-Webster has this photo filed under "CLUNKY"

Did Polyphony Digital design the interface to be future-proof hoping that all households will eventually be using touch-screen TVs? You'd think they were releasing GT5 on PC with what looks like a mouse-driven GUI but without the analog control. Basically it's a very cluttered confusing mess with mysterious icons and whatnot that forces the player into way too many button presses just to get the simplest tasks done (exiting any given menu usually takes about 2-3 button presses).

Damage

What's this rally car doing on a street circuit anyway?

Real racing is full of incidents, accidents, and mishaps. These mishaps affect a vehicle's aesthetics and overall performance. Therefore a Real Driving Simulator should have Real Damage Modeling, right? Apparently not, according to Polyphony Digital who believe a head on impact with a steel barrier at 200mph results only in a dull 'thud' sound effect and your car's bonnet only getting slightly crumpled. Your steering might go somewhat awry but rest assured you can still finish the race even after several brushes with death. How can GT5 pride itself as being a complete simulation when one of the most integral parts of racing is missing?

Classic Cars Get Discriminated

If you prick us do we not get a flat tire?

GT5 boasts an unprecedented number of cars available in-game. What most will realize though is that only about 20% of the 1000-plus vehicles are modeled in great detail. The rest of the "non-premium" cars have a PS2 look to them, are missing their corresponding dashboard/cockpit views and feature no damage modeling at all on any of them save for some scratches here and there. My favorite, the Honda Civic SiR-II, is included in this list.

Jagged, Flickering Shadows

caption

GT5 has superb graphics all in all that's why the little negative nuances really shine as well. The rippling shadow issue has plagued GT since the first game on the original Playstation. You'd think with all the power the PS3 has could’ve resolved this issue but sadly no. The replays are marred by this technical hiccup and it gets really distracting especially as the rest of the visuals are stunning.

Long Install & Load Times
GT5 took about 45 minutes to install on my PS3. FORTY-FIVE WHAT THE HELL FOR MINUTES! On top of that, once it's done installing and you've also finished doing your laundry AND making dinner for you and your neighbors, the game tells you that it requires an update via PSN. This update is 600-plus MB which, depending on your internet connection, is another 40 minutes or so. GT5 installs about 7GB of data on your PS3 hard drive yet it still takes the game ages to load just about anything. From menus, to car previews, to race start, GT5 likes to makes you wait. The game also insists on checking and synchronizing online every time you change something which makes the wait time more unbearable. Polyphony Digital is probably Japanese for "You take it & like it, idiot monkey".

The Need For More Speed
Why can't driving at 200mph feel as dangerous as it should? I often find myself under-braking when turning into corners in the game because I get the sensation I'm already at a slow enough speed to take them but then I realize the speedometer says I'm still going at well above 20mph faster than I ought to be. Even on straights the sensation of speed is sorely lacking unlike in games like NFS Shift which I thought had this part of the driving experience well in hand. In NFS Shift it felt exciting and dangerous to be going wheel to wheel at top speed and that's probably due to the (excessive) blur effect. But then if that's what it takes to make for a great experience then blur me silly, I say.

PWEDE NA YAN: If Your Home Is Your Castle, Then Your Toilet Is Your Throne

2011-01-21T21:36:00.001+08:00

Part of my job is to visit different call center sites and to carry out the English Language Assessments for their recruitment and Human Resources departments. There are a couple of clients I frequent that have toilet facilities that make me shake my head in disgust. These toilets are mostly used by current employees yet I often see urine on the floor or on the sides of the toilet bowl. There are times when there are USED tissues or paper towels just left on the floor or worse, in the sink/washing area. The worst offense of all is the un-flushed toilet. For f@#%’s sake! How difficult is it to flush after yourself?! If you feel like the flush handle might be too dirty to touch with your bare hands then use a tissue or even your goddamn feet to flush. I would partly understand if this was happening in a public toilet like in a mall where you probably won’t be using the same toilet twice but in your own freakin’ office?! Talk about shitting in your own backyard. I feel very sorry for the cleaners who have to tidy up after you. They must curse your filthy, soiled name in their sleep.

Why do Filipinos do this anyway? We have a history of having no regard for the cleanliness of our surroundings. Try going to a food court in any mall and you will see tables filled with used plates and utensils even though they’re mere feet away from the waste bin. There are also citizens who throw all manner of rubbish on the streets from candy wrappers to whole plastic bags of garbage. The only explanation I can come up with is that we are so used to having people clean up after us. From household maids to street sweepers to food court waste collectors, we got our collective litterbug asses covered well. PNY indeed.

PWEDE NA YAN: Miss Universe Is A Major Major Joke

2011-01-19T08:36:00.019+08:00

The Miss Universe contest is a joke. Some people are deluded enough to believe it is more than a beauty pageant. What led me to this train of thought was the fumbled opportunity our Miss Philippines Venus Raj had at the 2010 contest. I personally did not get a chance to watch the show but judging from what I’ve heard she was stunning in her swimsuit, elegant in her evening gown, and dazzling in all the other criteria. So in short, she was deserving of the crown if it weren’t for the inadequate answer she gave in the final round. Now I’m not going to delve into how the question she received was difficult to answer well and honestly. She’s a young woman who probably hasn’t had many MAJOR MAJOR roadblocks in her life.

Birry Bardwin

Nor will I bring up the fact that the question came from Billy Baldwin, a person not exactly known for his profound intellect or any MAJOR MAJOR box office hits. No I just want to focus on the reality that any given Miss Universe winner is there to be looked at and not to be listened to. Don’t give me that “you sexist, chauvinistic pig” look. Ask yourselves, if a Miss Universe were to make an appearance in your neck of the woods, would you go to check out how good-looking she really is? Or would you bring a notepad and jot down the deep, insightful words of wisdom pouring forth from her lovely mouth? Hmmm?

Every year the contestants are prepped and trained to answer an expected list of questions. How does that measure intellect? I think a fairer way to do that is to put the finalists in sound-isolation booths and ask each the same question. Another thing, why don’t non native English speakers just answer in their own language if it means they’re just going to embarrass themselves? I mean if they can get their point across more eloquently in their native tongue, why hold them back by asking them to trip over themselves? I’m looking in your direction, Manny Pacquiao.

PWEDE NA YAN: I'm Whining In The Rain

2011-01-17T17:32:00.001+08:00

The Philippines is a tropical country yet most locals seem to detest the only elements we have, sunshine & rain. I remember when my mom visited me back when I used to live in Sydney, Australia and the time she popped-open her umbrella on a perfectly sunny day. People were giving us funny looks and double takes and some even held out their hands trying to see if it was starting to rain. Most Filipinos hide from the sun for two main reasons, the first being a wholly logical and scientifically proven one and that is skin cancer. The second though is rooted more into our past and culture: dark skin complexion. It is widely acknowledged here that fair skin complexion is more attractive and is usually a sign of nobility (see The Beautiful People).

As for the apparent fear of rain, I would say this is due by and large to old wives’ tales. My mother up to this very day constantly reminds me, “Huwag ka magpabasa sa ulan ha? (Don’t get yourself wet in the rain ok?)” as she believes I will most certainly catch a cold that way. The last time I checked rainfall is made of almost pure water which I’m pretty sure is not detrimental to our wellbeing. Just recently I was in a taxi stopped at an intersection when it began to very lightly drizzle. A young woman standing at the crossing caught my attention. She badly wanted to cross the street despite the red light because she was getting a bit rained on. The expression on her face was a mix of irritation, frustration, and anguish as she shuffled about and even stomped her feet from time to time. This amused me greatly but on the other hand I thought maybe she just had to go pee.

PWEDE NA YAN: The Beautiful People

2010-11-20T05:22:00.002+08:00

My skin tone is slightly dark and I’ve never really had too much of a problem with it. There was the slight teasing back in elementary school but kids have never cared and would probably mock you for having an abusive, alcoholic father too. So I used to wonder why the majority of Filipinos go mad trying to ‘whiten’ their skin complexion. It’s understood that fair skin is often looked at as attractiveness but there are plenty of beautiful people with dark skin as well.

Well I’ve come to the conclusion that the motive to look “white” is rooted in the belief that fair skin was a sign of nobility back in the day. The fair-skinned people then were in most cases descendents of Spaniards whilst the “kayumanggi (brown-colored)” folk were the commoners and locals. The rich and well-to-do could safely stay in the shade while the local workers toiled in the heat of the sun hence darkening their skin. Recollect and you will remember a time when you’d hear people comment “Ay mukhang mayaman siya (Oh, she looks rich)” solely basing this on the mere fact that the person in question is fair-skinned. Thus even today, Filipinos are after a lighter complexion so that they don’t look common and so they can emulate their favorite celebrities as well. The irony is, those very same celebrities are trying to tan themselves to match our native kayumanggi color.

Shame on Upper Deck & Panini

2010-11-20T04:56:00.006+08:00

I pay a lot of attention to the packaging of hobby products. In fact as a kid I based my pack purchases solely on this aspect.

watch a youtube box break here

Now I’d been away from NBA cards for more than 12 years and just recently got back into it late this year (2010). Back in the day, there were only a handful of brands from the 4 main manufacturers, Fleer, Skybox, Topps & Upper Deck. The most expensive products then were Topps Finest & the Skybox E-X releases. Game-used jersey cards were next to impossible to find and only Skybox products offered autographed pulls on relatively easy odds via their cross-brand Autographics inserts. So upon my glorious return to collecting, I discover that GU cards and AUTOS are pretty commonplace especially if one buys high-end products.

I am aware that the hobby demanded these premium cards and were very much OK to shell out the big bucks for them. High end cards sure look tasty and the card stock used is 4-5 times thicker than what I'd been used to. Then I watched a few box-breaks on youtube and I have to say I was pretty disgusted when I discovered how these products are packaged. For example we have the Exquisite Collection from Upper Deck. You have seven cards inside a cushioned box wrapped in plastic. This box sits inside a tin container which is inside another cushioned box again wrapped in plastic. Everything then is contained in yet another bigger cardboard box wrapped in plastic! What a shameful waste of materials! In this age of eco-friendliness and consciousness, how can we stand by this travesty? Is all this necessary to make consumers feel they are getting the appropriate bang for their buck? I think not.

I say Panini and the rest should set an example by being a little more ‘green’ and conserve on packaging which will no doubt lead to lower prices and “de-alienating” the rest of the hobby folk from the high end releases. Even if they choose to maintain the high prices, I wish they'd show more responsibility and maybe use recycled materials. Another idea would be to run a redemption program and let customers return the packaging in exchange for collectibles or cards.

Disclaimer: I am not a hippie nor a tree-hugger. I just care.

Street Fighter WTF?!

2010-11-13T04:12:00.002+08:00

I'm talking about Street Fighter II and the Championship Edition so don’t get your panties in a knot. OK, so why do they call it Street Fighter anyway? Is it just a bunch of vagrants duking it out in the streets? Wasn't there a TV show called Bum-Fights a few years ago that followed the same formula? Anyhow, sure, each fighter in the game has their own agendas but if say, Guile really had to kill Bison for murdering his friend Charlie (who I'm sure he had a sexual relationship with), why does he have to fight Dhalsim too, for example? What’s he got against the poor little Indian who just wants to Yoga Fire this and Yoga Flame that. Leave the poor man alone, he looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks!

Speaking of Yoga Fires, talk about unfair odds. Ryu, Ken, Guile, Dhalsim, and Sagat all have projectile attacks. If I were in a fight for my life and I had an ability to shoot fiery, burning orbs of energy from my body, I'd be going "TigerTigerTigerTigerTigerTigerTiger!” all day.

And what about the ludicrous bonus stages?

Alright, mighty Street Fighter. If you manage to destroy this car, that for some reason is parked on this dock, with your bare hands within the given time limit, you win POINTS!!!

These wooden barrels, which for some unknown explanation travel via conveyor belt onto a mini trampoline, need to be neatly stacked in this warehouse. But since our laborers are on strike, you, stupendous Street Fighter are tasked with trashing the barrels instead before time runs out. Do this within the time limit and you win POINTS!!!

These large metal barrels full of oil have been set on fire and arranged in a most precarious manner. If you, brave Street Fighter, kick the shit out of them and avoid getting 3rd degree burns before the timer runs out, you win POINTS!!!

Street Fighter?! Jeez! Seems more like Street Cleaner to me!

Disclaimer: I am actually a big Street Fighter fan

PWEDE NA YAN: The EDSA Grand Prix

2010-11-11T22:37:00.004+08:00

Bus drivers in Manila are given a hard time by everyone. The poor guys. Just because most of them probably never even went to bus driver school, don't know how to use their rearview mirrors and have a total disregard for safety, doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy a good warm hug at the end of the day.

Seriously though, these drivers get very little money in terms of their base monthly salary and just make up for it through commission on the number of passengers they can cram into their buses and how many trips they make in a day. Now there must be at least a hundred bus companies operating in Metro Manila alone, so each driver from all these companies is battling it out with one another every day to snag every possible passenger on the road. This directly equates to the reckless, lane-swerving shenanigans we witness everyday on EDSA. Hence, no matter what kind of zoning, bus-only lane, or designated stops schemes the MMDA concocts up, a poor bus driver will always see those idle passengers as more money and more food on the table for their families.

The reason public bus systems in other developed countries work so well is because there are only a handful of operators running in any given city. That and the fact that drivers get a sufficient base salary. In other words, adequately-paid drivers aren’t desperate for passengers and will more likely follow traffic rules and bus stop regulations.

PWEDE NA YAN: I'd Sell Both Coke & Pepsi If They Paid Me Enough

2010-11-11T05:35:00.002+08:00

Welcome to the Philippines. Would you like to be rich & famous? Then you’ve come to the right place. Unlike most nations that have common sense, you don’t have to be talented to make it here (see Ding Dong Dantes). You don’t even have to be good looking (see Ding Dong Dantes).

All you got to do is smile and look at the camera and say, “This product is awesome”. Oh, and showing some skin never hurt anyone’s chances either (see Ding Dong Dantes). Some might be able to read between the lines and pick up on my subtle hints that I am not a fan of unrelated, laughable celebrity endorsements (There used to be an ad for Max’s Fried Chicken with Piolo Pascual looking suggestively at you while lying down on a couch holding a big plate with 1 whole fried chicken on it!) and Ding Dong Dantes. I plead guilty, but I mean c’mon! The guy looks like a creepy, serial rapist. Plus I never trust men named after the male genitalia. And why is he always half naked on enormous billboards on EDSA? I like making it to the office in the morning BEFORE I throw up my breakfast, thank you very much.

Street Fighter Comebacks or How To Talk Trash To Street Fighters

2010-10-02T08:20:00.002+08:00

Do those stupid Street Fighters ALWAYS kick the crap out of you? Are you tired of their ANNOYING one-liners after a bout? Can you never EVER win a fight? If you answered "YES!" to any of these questions then you need my new book called "STREET FIGHTER COMEBACKS: How To Talk Trash To Street Fighters!"

Those pesky Street Fighters have always had the last laugh but not anymore. In this guide you will learn how to take a beat-down with dignity. No longer will you need to walk away, stripped of your quarters, in shame.

Here are but some of the gems you will find in this enlightening manual:

Buy now for just $29.99!!!

Ryu: You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance!
–That April Fool’s joke is only about 20 years old now, cmon!

Chun Li: I'm the strongest woman in the world!
–You’re also the ONLY woman in THIS world.

Guile: Are you man enough to fight with me?
–Uh, I just finished fighting you, hello!

Sagat: You are not a warrior; you're a beginner!
–You are not from Thailand; you are too tall!

Blanka: Seeing you in action is a joke.
–Seeing you in person is a vomit-inducing experience.

Dhalsim: I will meditate then destroy you.
–I will donate to the World Food Program then feed you.

E Honda: Can’t you do better than that?
-Uh...can't you do better than THAT?

Zangief: My strength is much greater than yours.
-You're strength must be your chest hair then.

Balrog: My fists have your blood on them.
-My blood is infected with Hepatitis B.

Vega: Handsome fighters never lose battles.
-Especially handsome fighters who bring 8-inch blades to a fistfight. Asshole!

Microsoft Kinect Will Fail

2010-10-02T08:05:00.003+08:00

Kinect cannot connect with real gamers. Say that 10 times quickly

Everyone knows this. Sony and Nintendo are already snickering at Microsoft’s latest foible. There are numerous videos online already showing how ridiculous people look as they flail around trying to dodge virtual balls (hmmm that sounded nasty). No matter how much Microsoft promote that their product is the next step in video game interactivity, there really still needs to be a medium in between the player and the game. Simply put, when you were younger, who looked cooler, the kid running around with an imaginary toy gun? Or the kid who had the snazzy, plastic laser rifle? ‘Nuff said.

The Gospel According To Ken Masters

2010-10-02T07:53:00.004+08:00

I'm Ken Masters! Whoo!

I’d like to first take this opportunity to thank VideoGaymes for letting me write this special feature editorial. Also, I’d like to thank the millions of awesome Street Fighter fans who’ve supported me all these years. It’s been an awesome ride guys. You all rock.

So I’m a “bad news first” kind of guy so let me clear the air and officially announce that Eliza and I have filed for a divorce. It’s been a great 19 years but we both decided that our lives are heading in separate and very different directions. Eliza wants to have kids now because she says we’re not getting any younger. On the contrary, I feel like a million bucks, man. My Shoryuken has never been as devastating even compared to the first time I developed the flaming version in the original Super Street Fighter. Eliza tells me, “I need to start being responsible and grown-up and raising children is what I need to be happy in life”. So I told her to take a look at Guile and his daughter. You think they look happy? They hardly talk to each other. She does cocaine, sleeps around, and who knows what else. Meanwhile Guile doesn’t seem to care about all that. Every time I run into him all he talks about is Charlie this, Charlie that. I swear, I think Guile went into the Air Force to escape his homosexual tendencies but met Charlie there instead. Yeesh.

Christian Howard as Ken in Street Fighter Legacy

Well so much for the bad news haha. Now I’m sure most of you guys have seen the awesome Street Fighter short, Street Fighter Legacy, on YouTube. Where’d they get that guy to play me? He could be my freakin’ twin! I should track him down so I can get him to double for me for some of my celebrity appearances. Anyway, the film was pretty well done considering the budget they had but it was way too short at only a little over 3 minutes long. Speaking of movie budgets, I’m working with some Hollywood writers and producers in hopes of getting another Street Fighter movie done, this time with yours truly as the titular hero. I’m extremely excited as the filmmakers want to work closely with me unlike how they did with Chun-Li’s movie. It’ll still be an origin-type of story so you all will learn about some of my early years and how I got involved with Master Gouki and Ryu. No actors have been decided on but I’m leaning towards getting Chris Evans to play me since he has the build, he’s athletic, he’s a handsome guy, and he has thick eyebrows hehe. As for a director, Uwe Boll has approached us numerous times but I would actually pay the man the director’s fee to just stay the hell away from us.

So, I’ve gotten a lot of messages on my Official Facebook Fan Page and besides the ones related to the new movie project, here are the top questions asked. So here I am to set the record straight.

What do you think of Mortal Kombat?

I am a fan. There, I said it. I’ll probably get in a whole lot of legal trouble for that but hey, Mortal Kombat is good, gory fun. I’ve actually met and spoken to Sub-Zero, who ain’t the warmest of fellas (ha-ha), on a few separate occasions. That guy Scorpion too, gives me the creeps. What’s with the eyes man? Also, I’ve been told that he is actually Japanese so his English isn’t very good but I think his vocabulary is severely limited. His only reply to anything I said to him was “Get over here!” What a weirdo.

What do you think of the original Street Fighter live-action movie?

It’s crap. It’s terrible. The film makers never asked me for input so I was portrayed as a flippin’ self-absorbed con-artist who had a feud with Sagat. I know, right? I’m fixing this absurdity with the new film we’re working on.

Does it hurt when you do a flaming Shoryuken?

Not the traditional burning sensation but rather a slightly draining feeling as I have to concentrate and draw from my Ki when I do one. What you should be asking my opponents is, “How much does it hurt when you get hit by a flaming Shoryuken in the gut?” Ha-ha.

Alright, that’s it from me. Thanks again to everyone for the support and be sure to keep an eye out for the new Street Fighter film which should be coming in 2012. Peace, out.

Video Game Console Names Suck

2010-10-02T07:46:00.003+08:00

Let's face it. No company has ever come up with a name for their video game console that made you go "Yea that name is so cool, I'd buy that thing just coz the name is so cool!" Right? So let's have a look at the top offenders (so far).

A real boy playing a Virtual Boy

Nintendo Virtual Boy
So the name was given to keep with the ongoing trend Nintendo had then of having the word "boy" in their products (eg. GameBoy). The moniker Virtual Boy though gives me the pedophiliac heebie-jeebies. "Can't get that strapping, young paperboy lad to come down to your basement for some refreshments? Then get yourself a VIRTUAL BOY! All the fun, none of the embarrassing lawsuits!"

Sega Dreamcast
I owned and loved this machine but what in the blue blazes were Sega thinking?! The name Dreamcast reminds me of unicorns and rainbows and fairies and other less-than-manly crap. They should've just called it the Sega PukeInMyMouth, really.

Microsoft X-Box & X-Box 360
It has been proven that adding an "X" to your product name gives it an appeal to the uneducated masses and makes them think "Whoa X! This thing must be EXTREEEEEME!!!" Microsoft called their first ever video game console the X-Box at first because they hadn't come up with a proper name for it then. You know, all ooh mystery-box-like? I guess the marketing guys fell asleep or something coz the name stuck and they probably rationalized and said something like "Well our product is so EXTREEEME that no other name would do it justice so X-Box it is! Now let's down some bottles of Mountain Dew!!! High-fives all around, yeah!"

A few years later they developed a newer X-Box model and christened it the X-Box 360. This was due to the fact they thought it was "revolutionary" (360 degrees, geddit?) but Nintendo had the rights to the name Nintendo Revolution (which later became the Nintendo Wii). But to me 360 just connotes that the product just made a whole roundabout turn in development and ended up in the exact same place. Hurray for progress!

Nintendo Wii
Them wacky Japanese have done it again. Slightly cool 'coz the name doesn't really mean anything but also annoying for the exact same reason! At least the name Wii sounds like "WHEEE!" like you're having fun. Maybe they should've called it "Nintendo Wii Argh! Fuck! My Brand New Plasma TV!!!" instead as there are many YouTube videos to attest to the hilarity that ensues after not attaching the Wii controller to your wrist as recommended.

Sony Playstation 1, 2, & 3
Sony's first foray into the video game console world was a hit to say the least. It gave Nintendo & Sega a run for its money and the Playstation 2 eventually was the cause for Sega to throw in the towel with regards to its hardware production. Admittedly the Playstation name isn't all that bad but it does make me think of kiddie rides and kiddie games in a kiddie theme park. And we all know that video games are unlikeTrix, they aren't for kids. The decision simply add a number to the later models is also boring. Haven't they learned from Hollywood and its sequels? Sequels with just numerical names have all fallen flat on their faces. Rambo? Karate Kid? Psycho?

LEAST OFFENSIVE NAME: Sega Saturn
After the Sega CD, the Saturn was the next sign of the apocalypse for Sega. Undoubtedly a capable machine just like the Dreamcast that followed, it too really just did not have the support of 3rd party developers. But unlike the Gaycast, Sega Saturn was a pretty decent name for a gaming machine. It was slightly ambiguous and let's face it, Saturn with its rings is one bad-ass planet.

Stupid Mario Brothers

2010-10-01T16:49:00.001+08:00

Stupid Mario Brothers

Super Gay Mario Brothers

Why in heck is Mario so beloved by video game geeks?! I don't get it. He isn't exactly leading man material with his huge schnoz and beer-belly (it could be a pasta-belly). He has spent most of his life trying to rescue an unattractive, 80's era big-haired, princess who can never seem to stay put in one castle. I guess if your only companions in the world are a dim-witted copycat brother, a midget with a mushroom-design turban, and an odd, green dinosaur, then I'd start eating mushrooms and chasing pathetic skirts too.

I've also wondered why in his 20+ years of existence has he never changed clothes? Yeah I know about the white, flower-powered, fireball-spitting version but that's just a damn pallette swap. Even the most famous comic book characters like Batman & Superman have had costume changes so isn't it time Jumpman got some fashion advice too? Then again if a make-over and re-imagining means the live-action, Bob Hoskins movie version, then maybe red overalls aren't out of style yet.

Mortal Kombat Screengrabs

2010-07-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

Bored. The Mortal Kombat movie trailer/pitch looked cool so I thought I'd grab some stills to get a good look at the characters in it. Enjoy.

8-Word Movie Review: SHUTTER ISLAND (2009)

2010-03-30T21:02:00.003+08:00

Plot holes are trivial against deep engaging twist.

Pretty Porn Stars

2010-02-16T02:21:00.002+08:00

This entry's full title is WHY PORN?!? OR ADULT FILM STARS WHOSE LOOKS COULD'VE PROBABLY LANDED THEM JOBS THAT REQUIRE LESS NUDITY AND DEBAUCHERY. Sadly, Worpress does not allow titles that long, so yea.

I'm sure all guys have come across at least one porn film where the actress made them do a double-take and ask themselves, "She's gorgeous, why in heck is she doing goddamn pornography for chrissake?!?" Then a few moments later those same guys realize the absurdity of that question and thank the lord for the blessing they are partaking in. So in no particular order, here are some of the females in question.

Lacie Heart
Sweet, girl-next-door looks. That is all.

Cassidey Rae aka Paizley Adams

One of the first stars I ever noticed and wondered "Why Porn?!". It's tough finding a photo of her not being all porn-like so you'll have to settle for this goofy pic.

Sunny Leone

Sunny is downright gorgeous at times. And I'm not being a prude here, but I have not watched any of her films. I had just come across her a few times online and have always had to take a closer look each time. I would go as far as to say she looks like a genuine film star.

Stoya

Stoya has both the girl-next-door looks and a bit of the high fashion model's as well. There are shots where she reminds me of Milla Jovovich too. Mmmm...Milla... It's such a shame Stoya dated Marilyn Manson.

Maria Ozawa
"Sweet Jesus Fuck", as Hunter S. Thompson would say. Maria is an incredibly good looking woman. If there were an epitome of what this blog entry is all about, Maria would be it.

Honorable Mentions - Tory Lane & Gianna Lynn

I'm aware a lot of people think Tory's a dog but for some insane reason I think she's alright. As for Gianna, she is included not only because she is sometimes pretty damn good looking but more importantly, because she is part Filipino.