Geeky Posh » Quiet Time

Best birthday present ever, thank you God!

Jenny — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 01:39:35 +0000

You guys might remember me talking about my frustrations in my job search. I’ve been looking and sending out resumes since my senior year of college, and after 18 months of rejections and disappointments, God didn’t let me down. I knew that He was going to do great things for me this year, and that His words for me for 2012 was “Have faith“. Truly this period of waiting for God’s plans was a test of faith, but I knew that He would come through for me at the end.

All we need to do is bring it to the cross.

Last month I finally got an interview at a small but upcoming software development firm not far from where I live. It went well¹, but I didn’t hear back from them for 3 weeks. I thought I had failed, but just when I did, they emailed me back for a second interview. I went to that last Wednesday, and to my surprise, there was a test! Despite not having prepared for that at all, I did well on it and on the interview in general². They said they’d get back to me within a week or 2 for a final decision.

Today I got an offer letter. With a salary that was above and beyond my expectations. Despite the fact that I’m an international student³. The crazy thing was that it happened so quickly, and just a day after my birthday! I had casually asked God if I could have a job as my birthday present this year, but I never really stressed when because God’s timing > my timing. I just thought that it’d be nice. And if my birthday didn’t happen to be on a weekend, I actually would’ve heard back before my birthday!

Even as I write this I’m still in awe at how everything happened and the perfect timing of it all. I know some of you might think it’s a coincidence, or I’m exaggerating, but I can only say what Jeremy Lin said of his NBA career: God’s fingerprints were all over the place. It’s the truth.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Or so I thought ↩
Again, so I thought ↩
It’s more troublesome than you think, a lot of companies avoid us like the plague ↩

You don’t need to be afraid anymore

Jenny — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 21:34:15 +0000

My 2 cats Shelly and Cooper couldn’t be more different from each other in terms of looks or personality. While Shelly is outgoing and not afraid of anything, Cooper is extremely shy. My boyfriend and I suspect that he might have been abused as a kitten, or at least wasn’t socialized properly. It took a good month before he finally crawled out from under the couch and opened up to us.

Cooper hiding in my closet. He's good at that.

Even after Cooper has opened up to us¹, he still scares easily. Any sudden noises or movements sends him scurrying under the couch again, so you can imagine what he’s like when I’m vacuuming or have friends over. He’s afraid of the unfamiliar and prefers to stay in his comfort zone, aka, the couch.

Cooper’s fear of the unknown reminds me of, well, me! I don’t like going out of my comfort zone to face the unfamiliar. Maybe it’s a bad past experience or maybe it’s just a lack of confidence, but there’s really no reason to be afraid because God is right here with me! Just as I won’t let anything or anyone hurt Cooper, how much more would my Heavenly Father do for me?

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord

Romans 8:38-39

Cooper still hasn’t learned to fully trust me, his mother and caretaker, that I’ll make sure everything is ok, even when it seems like it won’t be. Likewise, I still haven’t learned to fully trust God, that He’d give me the power to walk on water, if only I just stepped out of the boat. But I don’t blame Cooper at all. In fact, I love him all the more², because I know that only love can cast out fear. My love isn’t perfect, but God’s is, and each day I’m a taking one step closer to getting out of that boat. As a matter of fact, that’s one of the main reasons why God wanted me to come back to the US alone. To learn to trust in Him, and not be afraid anymore.

And he turned out to be extremely affectionate, especially towards me ↩
If that’s even possible ↩

Finding God in the dark clouds

Jenny — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:42:15 +0000

After 2+ weeks of not reading the bible, I finally got myself to sit down and open the Word of God. The strange thing about all this was that this whole time, I wanted to read the bible, but I would always get distracted or something would come up and I’d never get around to it. And the less I read the bible the less I was in tune with God and needless to say, my life fell in a rut, and I distracted myself doing other things. But regardless of what I did, whether it was job applications or even trying to level up my Pokemon¹, nothing was going right. It was one failure after another.

It certainly felt like there was a very dark cloud over my head this whole time

Interestingly, the passage I read today was 1 Kings 8:1-14. I usually yawn when I read the old testament², but one verse just stood out to me:

Then Solomon said, “The LORD has said that he would dwell in a dark cloud;”
1 Kings 8:12

My first thought was: why not a fluffy white cloud? When I think of heaven and God, I certainly don’t think of dark clouds. Those are associated with bad weather and storms. But then it dawned on me: God is with us not only during the peaceful times of our lives, but also during its storms. To me, the verse was God telling me that yes, I have been going through storms, but He has said that He would dwell in the very dark cloud of the storms. He has not forsaken me. He’s right there in the midst of all the chaos.

What comfort, what hope. I’m not going to deny, all these repeated rejections in terms of jobs really got to me. I began to doubt God’s promises and His faithfulness. I began to let go of the very thing that would carry me through the storm. But God didn’t let go. Instead, He chose to gently remind me that He’s right here with me, and He’ll continue to be with me to ride out the storm.

I used to resent the dark clouds of my life, but now, I will choose to see them as the very place to draw closer to God.

I decided to replay my Pokemon HeartGold…I never finished the game yet! ↩
Sorry God, but most of it really is quite dry ↩

Striving for the eternal prize

Jenny — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 04:55:33 +0000

If you follow the NBA¹, you’ve probably heard about a player named Jeremy Lin. For those of you who have never heard of him, he’s an amazing player on the New York Knicks, averaging 24.4 points and 9.1 assists per game. But that’s not it. Prior to his shot to fame, he has been consistently overlooked and released twice from 2 NBA teams before joining the Knicks. He was close to getting released a third time when the coach finally decided to let him play², and the Linderella³ story was born.

When asked about his sudden rise to fame, Lin simply said “God’s fingerprint was all over the place.” As I continued to learn more about the obstacles he had to overcome to get to where he is today, I couldn’t agree more that this was all part of God’s plan and timing. Lin knew this himself, even before he became famous:

I’m currently going through a phase in my life where I’m really unsure of the future. The pressure of finding a job before I graduate in May is getting to me, and that’s pretty much all I can focus on right now. Whatever focus is left is directed towards my blog and school. I’m like the runner in 1 Corinthians 9:24-25, striving for a crown that will one day fade away. Like Lin before, I’ve become preoccupied with what others will think of me if I don’t find a job. In seeking the earthly prize, I have forgotten the eternal one.

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14

If Jeremy Lin kept looking into the past at his failures, he wouldn’t have been able to look ahead at what God had in store for him! Right now I’m constantly looking back at my own failures as well: all those resumes sent out and no response. No, I must strain toward what is ahead: God’s wonderful plans for my future. And when I strain ahead, my goal isn’t just to win a good job, it’s to win the grace, richness, and glory in Christ Jesus.

What we live for determines our actions and the eventual path in life we will take. Jeremy Lin decided that he didn’t want to strive for the earthly prize of whatever being an NBA star could offer. He decided to strive for the eternal prize, and like they say, the rest is history.

Or if you’re simply Asian ↩
He’s been warming benches prior to this ↩
I can’t help it, there are way too many puns associated with his name ↩

Heart of the Father

Jenny — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 15:28:00 +0000

My mom once told me that by being a mother, she was able to better understand the heart of God and His love for us than before entering parenthood. That always intrigued me, but now, as the “mother” to my newly adopted cat, I’m starting to understand what my mom meant.

Shelly being a typical cat

Shelly is your typical cat. She has her own personality, and while she is sweet and affectionate, she often does as she pleases. If she feels like sitting on your lap and cuddling, that’s what she’ll do. If she doesn’t feel like it, then no matter how many times you try to get her to stay on your lap, she’ll just run away. While I’d love for her to cuddle with me all the time, I’ve learned to simply accept the fact that that’s not going to happen, and just take joy during the times it does.

She can be a trouble maker as well, scratching up the furniture and me, jumping onto counters, and knocking things over. Do I get angry? Of course. Do I scold her? You bet. But my anger goes away as quick as it comes. After all, she’s my baby, and she’s also a cat. I can’t expect from a cat what I would from another human being.

In the end, I know that regardless of what crazy antics she pulls or how my legs and arms my be covered in scratches, I’ll still love her. Isn’t this exactly how our Father in heaven feels about us? Despite our sins and many shortcomings, He still loves us all the same. It’s just like Paul says:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39

And in the same way I’m delighted every time Shelly comes up to cuddle with me, God delights in us spending time with Him. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, but if Shelly comes up to me, I’ll put everything aside to spend time with her. If I can feel this way about a cat, how much more love can God feel for us?