This piece is a reprise of remarks I gave at the 49^th Memorial Day Celebration, April 14th, for Rev. Genki Takabayashi, the retired founding abbot of the Dai Bai Zan Cho Bo Zen Temple (Chobo-Ji).

Genki died, Feb. 24^th, at his home in Victor Montana, with his wife Leslie Gannon at his side.   He had just turned 80 (81 by Japanese reckoning).  He was born in Gifu Prefecture in Japan and was given up for adoption at age 11 to a Rinzai Zen priest, Genpo Takabayashi, abbot of Seitai-Ji.  His adoptive father eventually ordained Genki.  As a young adult he left for Daitoku-Ji, one of the two principle Rinzai training temples in Kyoto Japan.  For a time he became abbot of a temple in Kamakura Japan.

After twenty years of Zen training, Genki was a rising star within the Daitoku-Ji ranks. However, because of troubles arising from his own poor behavior, he lost favor with the hierarchy, and no longer had much of a future within Japanese Rinzai Zen.  Therefore, he was amenable to overtures from Dr. Glenn Webb, then an Art History professor at the UW and head of the Seattle Zen Center (the progenitor of Chobo-Ji), to consider immigrating to Seattle to become our temple priest.

He arrived in Seattle in the autumn of 1977, and I was one of a few students to greet him at the airport.  After a long flight he was hungry, so we offered him an airport breakfast of oatmeal, and I became fearful he might just take the next flight home.  In fact, Genki wasn’t sure he would stay; he thought he was coming just to check us out.  However, he was delighted to find that Seattle students were sincere, and he found our spirit and commitment strong and refreshing.  Dr. Webb was able to assist with getting a “green card” for Genki to stay in the USA as a “missionary.”  Eventually, he went on to become a US citizen.

I ended up apprenticing with Genki Roshi (Senior Priest), as we soon came to call him, for twenty years until his retirement in 1997.  Over the course of my long association with him, I learned three profound lessons.

The first thing Genki showed me about the human condition is that it is possible to transcend our likes and dislikes, preferences and opinions.  During the1980 summer sesshin (weeklong meditation intensive) with him, which was held at Dry Falls State Camp, the temperatures were in the nineties and the meditation hall was full of mosquitoes and flies.  In addition, Mount St. Helens had a secondary eruption, flooding the air with gritty ash. To say that our meditation periods were hellish was not an understatement. During this retreat twice a day students would visit Genki Roshi in the Dokusan Room where Dharma Interviews were held. It was a small room with little ventilation, and we all concluded some animal had died and was rotting somewhere under the floorboards. In the meditation hall and Dokusan Room, Genki sat serenely unmoving in full-lotus, with a beneficent continence, seemingly impervious to adversity.  However, he often related that at his first Daitoku-Ji sesshin, after three days he thought he would die from pain and exhaustion, and hoped there would be an earthquake to bring the roof down to end his suffering.  Yet, by the conclusion of the seven-day retreat there had been some kind of shift where he become confident that if an earthquake brought the roof down that somehow he would remain seated in the midst of the rubble.

The Autumn Sesshin of the following year was held on the Seattle Zen Center’s newly acquired property at about 5,000 ft on the crest of a ridge between Cle Elum and Ellensburg, WA.  It began to snow during our retreat and our newly built meditation hall did not yet have windows installed.  One Dokusan period I was waiting in line to visit Genki Roshi and snow was coming through the vacant window and piling up on the frame of my eyeglasses.  When I opened the flap of the outdoor camping tent that was serving as the Dokusan Room, I could hear the crackle of ice snapping.  In front of me Genki was once again sitting serenely in full lotus surrounded by icicles hanging from the walls of the tent.  When I left the next month to train at Ryutaku-Ji, an affiliate monastery in Japan, these images of Genki Roshi sitting untroubled by conditions and circumstances allowed me to face the uncertainty and trials of such a journey with a measure of equanimity, and I am forever grateful.

The second gift I received from Genki Roshi was the opportunity to soak up his actualization that an “enlightened” life is an “ordinary” life.  In everything he approached he demonstrated that living life fully with “everyday openhearted activity” was paramount.  No matter if it was sitting zazen (seated meditation), cooking, calligraphy, gardening, landscaping, cleaning, pottery, giving Teisho (formal Dharma Talk), making a bowl of whisked green tea or writing fiction, Genki was fully present to the activity at hand, operating with joy, unending enthusiasm and energy.  He taught us that samu (work meditation) was more important to our training than zazen, sutra recitation or koan (Zen parable) study.

The third lesson learned, the hardest to accept and perhaps the most important, is that all of us are fully human!  That is to say, that though Genki amply demonstrated that we can be and are all vessels of the Dharma, we are also limited, and from time to time stubbornly primitive.  There will always be tension between our base instincts and true insight.  When Genki left Japan he abandoned a relationship and a child.  He never understood credit or money well and often found himself in debt.  Early on during his time in Seattle we had to warn female participants that there was a good chance he would make a pass at them.  We are all a blend of Buddha and bumpkin; with all the training in the world we will never arrive.  In other words, from wherever we are we are always just beginning. I often tell the story of how at least once a year Genki would give a Teisho where he would exclaim, “I now just beginning to understand, just now beginning to see.”

Everyone has limitations and shortcomings that arise from wounds in our history.  There are three options for dealing with them. One is to do the very difficult work of combusting, digesting and integrating these wounds.  Second is to contain them so that they don’t cause harm to others.  Third is to skip over them with spiritual bypassing, which can be easily done, but usually comes back to haunt us.  Like most of us, Genki made use of all three.

Genki Roshi proved time and again that he could be an inspirational catalyst for those training with him.  He probed and prompted us to investigate and experience the depth of our true nature, a bottomless vastness without form that gives rise to everything.  He taught mainly by example how to live fully and passionately, with an attentive caring attitude, beyond any attachment to rank, position, preference or opinion.  He became a surrogate father to me, and I will be forever grateful for his continued presence in my life.  May the flower of his inspiration continue to bloom for generations to come.

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In some ways my time in Poland visiting Auschwitz/Birkenau was exactly what I expected it to be.  It was a time to sit with the deep wound in our collective unconscious arising from the Nazi effort to exterminate undesirables.  Just over a hundred participants sat for five days between the sorting tracks where trains, pulling cattle cars, dislodged thousands of people to be selected for immediate death in the gas chambers or slave labor in the camp. Life expectancy in the camp was three months.  My sits were very grounded, no distractions; it was hard to be distracted or deluded in such a place.  With each inhalation all of us took in a small packet of the pain, loss and horror associated with the history of the camp.  Within us each small parcel of suffering was at least partially digested and then released with each exhalation. This process was repeated breath after breath, sit after sit, day after day.  At the conclusion of the retreat it felt as though the whole place was a little lighter.  There is still such pent up unprocessed suffering in this location that more generations will be needed to release most of it.  Therefore, it is my intention to return year after year and help with others so inclined to assist with the work that needs doing.  This year’s retreat will be Nov. 4^th – 8^th; I already have made my reservation.  I will be traveling a few days earlier, and anyone reading this interested in attending with me from Seattle, please let me know.

What I wasn’t fully prepared for was how deeply sadistic the slave labor side of the camp was.  Auschwitz/Birkenau was known as a city of death, but this does not do it justice.  I’m convinced that it was the most horrid place ever to exist on this planet.  I’ve heard of awful things and seen many horror movies, but nothing comes close to what went on in this place.  How could primarily Buddhas produce this hell on earth?  I sat with this koan and what follows are some insights that bubbled up.

Nationalism taken to its natural extreme means those not in the club become refuse. Power can corrupt otherwise goodhearted people, and unlimited, unchecked power invites unspeakable cruelty.  Take Dr. Josef Mengele for example.  He was personally responsible for unspeakable cruelties to adults and children.  He was never brought before a war crimes tribunal, and lived out his life hiding in Paraguay.  It is said that he claimed until his death that he had harmed no one.  However, he might have acknowledged that he exterminated and experimented on many cockroaches. Mengele was taught that those transported to the camp were vermin.  He had a PhD in Anthropology, as well as being a medical doctor.  Surely he saw atrocities on the Eastern front where he was posted.  He saved many German soldier lives while becoming wounded himself, earning the Iron Cross.  No longer able to serve at the front he was posted at Auschwitz and became the Chief Medical Officer of the main infirmary at Birkenau.

There is no doubt in my mind that, as with the development of cancer, there were many steps involved in his evolution from a healer to a mass murderer and one of the most heinous sadists ever known. Probably, there was a history of early abuse where Josef was the victim; this was followed by a thorough indoctrination of racism and bigotry, rationalized as natural, appropriate and necessary all the way through graduate school.   Add to this desensitization from seeing horrors day after day at the Eastern Front, where members of his own tribe were being killed and maimed in front of him.  Then we must factor in the reality of his own war wounds, which were severe enough that he had to be recalled from the front.  Top it off with his assignment to Auschwitz/Birkenau where he could really do damage to those whom he felt were the cause of the world’s problems, give him unchecked, unconditional power of life of death in his world of influence and you get Dr. Mengele.  Probably all these steps were necessary to produce the cancer he became.  If even one of these steps were removed, I would likely be writing about someone else.

When I think of less disturbed people such as Eido Shimano, the founding abbot of ZSS, Joshu Sasaki, the founding abbot of Rinzai-Ji Zen Centers, and in my opinion even less disturbed characters such as Genki Takabayashi, Chobo-Ji’s founding abbot, and myself, I see similar patterns.  Perhaps most of us have some kind of trauma from early childhood that is carried unresolved into adulthood.  In my own case, through the help of family, friends, three intense year of psychoanalysis and thirty years working through father issues with my surrogate father figures Genki Takabayashi and Eido Shimano, I feel blessed to have turned a corner.  Hopefully, my own sense of some deep integration with my early abuse history is real. The effect is that I feel much less haunted by the past, and therefore, much less likely to act out my early trauma in present relationships.  Moreover, even though I succeeded Genki Roshi as abbot of Chobo-Ji and have been named a Dharma Heir and my lineage of Zen, I’ve grown enough to know not to take this role or recognition too seriously.

In fact, all I want to be is the temple priest who is responsible for setting the tone of training at Chobo-Ji.  I don’t want followers or students; I have nothing to teach.  The training is designed to allow those who practice at Chobo-Ji to have a direct experiential relationship with their own deep nature.  The best I can do in a leadership position is set the tone with my own dedication to practice, and on occasion (dokusan and Teisho) point at the moon.  I believe this awareness, attitude and intention will limit the possibility of falling into the elevated guru trap that infects many spiritual centers throughout the world.

Certainly both ZSS and Rinzai-Ji centers fell into the trap of raising the Japanese founders to guru status.  This kind of status given to teachers is one big step towards unconditional power and authority, which can corrupt even genuinely awake and openhearted people.  The other important step towards corruption in any organization that raises a person to guru status is lack of effective oversight or mirroring.  If those in a strong leadership position have no way to receive sufficient mirroring from peers and also have no effective oversight by superiors there is a real danger that power will corrupt the leader, leading to inappropriate actions and abuse of the authority invested in them.  Put all these things together, under processed early trauma, skilful means and the talent to use them effectively, rising to a position of leadership and authority, imbued with a cultural sense of specialness or superiority, with little peer oversight or supervision and the situation is ripe for misuse of power and abuse.

Looking forward to the further unfolding of Zen in the West, it becomes evident we must be careful not to elevate leaders responsible for organizing practice and training to guru status.  Those who are in leadership positions must become cognizant of the fact that early wounds and trauma can sneak up on us having a profound impact.  If we are not cognizant or appropriately cautious about this we may begin feeding on our own sangha to meet our primitive unmet needs and wants.  In other words, we must never feel complete and be willing to do all the inner work necessary to assure that we won’t abuse our position of trust and authority.  Furthermore, it is imperative that Zen leaders seek out a close cadre of peers with whom we can consult and be willing to be challenged and confronted.  Moreover, I think some sort of national consortium of Zen leaders that focuses on the voluntary oversight and ethical education and support of constituent members is sorely needed.  On this note, I am wholeheartedly supporting the efforts of two younger Zen priests who occasionally train at Chobo-Ji to start such an organization.

Egyoku Wendy Nakao, who went on to become the current abbot at ZCLA, has provided an excellent example to the nation of how a Zen organization can process the failures and shortcomings of its founder.  It is not that any recovery process is going to satisfy everyone, but she has put the organization back on its feet without sweeping the past under the rug and admirably started ZCLA’s recovery by focusing on reaching out and being of service to those most harmed.  Egyoku has also been instrumental in the healing process that has begun at Rinzai-Ji around the misdeeds of Joshu Sasaki.  It is still my hope that ZSS will learn from her actions, but disappointedly not yet.  For example, there has never been an organizational apology from ZSS admitting any responsibility for how the abuse went on for decades and there has only been one meeting that made any attempt to reach out to those most harmed by Eido Shimano’s actions.

My trip to Auschwitz certainly helped see these sorts of situations in a deeper perspective.  We are all flawed human beings with the potential to actualize our deep Buddha nature.  In addition, we certainly have at least an equal potential to act selfishly and even sadistically from our most base instincts.  Moreover, collectively humans are so hungry for leadership and inspiration that we have the bad habit of often venerating and investing too much power in talented narcissists.  How will we manage and harness our extraordinary range of potential for the benefit of all beings great and small, animate an inanimate?  This question represents our most important generational koan.

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Sorting track, to the left death to the right slave labor.

(Inspired by a recent visit to this place of horror and this verse by Thich Nhat Hanh:
http://www.quietspaces.com/poemHanh.html)

A woman, tattooed with a number, waits in the cold and rain. Thrown away as trash, she is locked in a closed brick-walled courtyard. All the gas chambers are full, so for days she starves without food or water. At noon perchance she hears children playing in the nearby barracks, knowing all too well they will soon meet the same end.

In my opinion man: nationalism taken to its natural extreme means those not in the club become refuse, and unlimited power invites unspeakable cruelty.

I am the women curled up against the wall.

I am the child playfully drawing pictures waiting for my mother’s return.

I am the doctor who enjoys torturing the children.

I am the one angry at denial, because I’ve known it all too well.

I am the one putting my head to the ground in sorrow and shame.

I am the one meditating by the sorting tracks, where slave labor was threshed from those to be killed, embraced by light and rain, chanting names of those known and not forgetting the unknown.

Please remember to call me by my true names so that I may be free to celebrate Shabbat with newly found sisters and brothers calling themselves Zen Peacemakers.

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The Shimano Archive reported some time ago that Eido Shimano was not listed as a Dharma Heir under Soen Nakagawa Roshi in an official Japanese Rinzai lineage chart. After exploring this matter for myself I concluded in 2010 that “Apparently, Soen Roshi… gave Dharma Transmission to Eido Roshi, but failed to record it properly in Japan. I believe he did this because he was so angry with Eido Roshi for not stopping his bad behavior.” (See: http://www.choboji.org/PMN104.pdf, Plum Mountain News, V17.4, page 7)

My deep interest in Zen training began with a conversation with Osho Diazen Brian Victoria on the UCLA campus in 1975 (Daizen went on to write Zen at War where he talks about the “moral blindness” of Japanese Zen.) He sent me to learn zazen from Thích Thiên-Ân at the College of Oriental Studies in LA near ZCLA. After graduation and my move to Seattle, I began sitting with Glenn Webb Sensei and the Seattle Zen Center. This group invited Osho Genki Takabayashi to be its resident teacher in 1978. I was at the airport to greet Genki when he arrived in Seattle and apprenticed with him for twenty years until his retirement. However, even though Genki Takabayashi claimed to be a Dharma Heir in the Japanese Rinzai lineage, his claim is NOT sanctioned by the hierarchy in Japan any more than Eido Shimano’s.

Where does that leave me and all Dharma Heirs linked to Eido Shimano? We are all not recognized by the hierarchy of the Japanese Rinzai lineage. Does this disturb me very much? Not really; I am now in the good company of many sister American lineages such as the Philp Kapleau line. For a great review of issues surrounding Dharma transmission see the following essay by my good friend Bodhin Kjolhede, head of the Rochester Zen Center (See: http://www3.telus.net/public/sarlo/Ykjolhede.htm#kjol). Also take a look at an excellent essay by Dale Wright, which explores how sanctioned masters fall short (see: http://www.thezensite.com/ZenEssays/Philosophical/Satori_and_Moral_Dimension.pdf).

Gempo Yamamoto Roshi, who I still think of as my Dharma Great-Grandfather, likened our adult sense of a separated ego identity as feeling as though we are stuck in a really narrow box; we might think of it as a crib. When we’re stuck inside our personal identity, it’s like we’re stuck inside our infantile idea of self. However, when we have some “awakening” we realize that the box has no lid and we step out of it. I suppose one could call it attainment but all we’re doing is stepping outside of our own box of our infantile idea of self. Zen Master Rinzai refers to this as “obtaining the Dharma.” Whether we call it “obtaining,” “attainment,” “realization,” or “enlightenment,” all we have really done is step outside of the box of our infantile idea of self. That’s it!

It is as though we are mostly little baby Buddhas who live a lot of life in our cribs. When we step out of the crib, living outside the box is so simple. And, when we find ourselves back in our cribs, living inside the box feels narrow and difficult. We all have a lot of growing up to do to learn how to live outside our cribs. First we need to step even briefly outside of the box, get that open-hearted feeling, and let in the truth that we are one with Kannon (Bodhisattva of Compassion) and the Tathâgata, then the real work begins when you come back to your crib.

Before we can more consistently live out of the box we must clean out the stinky karmic baggage we have collected since birth. This may take as long to clean out as it took to collect. Zen practice is initially all about pushing us out of the box, which is helpful and grants us for a time a very wide perspective. However, it is difficult to connect with a sense of emancipation and unconditional compassion for very long. Sooner or later we discover that we have once again returned to the box of our own making.

Most of us have deep resistance to working with our karmic baggage. In some cases we can become so resistant to working with our baggage that we repress our own history. If this happens we may come to believe we have no shit. A big mistake! It is great to step outside the box and make a heart connection with Kannon, but our real work begins when we are able to look at ourselves clearly, becoming deeply motivated to face our faults and clean up our poor behavior. If through difficult purges, many dark nights of the soul, our own intestines become relatively clear, our great vow will motivate us to begin clearing the baggage of the collective unconscious. This is truly the deep work of Zen practice. On this point my “Dharma Father” Eido Shimano, my “Dharma Sister” Shinge Roko Chayat and I have a lot of work to do. In this light, I’m exploring an association with Joan Halifax and Bernie Glassman and will be attending the Zen Peacemakers retreat this November at Auschwitz in Poland (see: http://zenpeacemakers.org/events/bearing-witness-retreat-at-auschwitzbirkenau/)

As for my view of the Zen Studies Society (ZSS) and Shinge’s position in regards to Eido Shimano, I have made my opinion abundantly and repeatedly clear, for an overview see: http://www.choboji.org/PMN114.pdf pages 8 & 9. Shinge claims that she “will not hide behind delusive chains,” that “the smoke and mirrors.. must be cleared away” and that “the reason we are in such a mess is that we believed in a manipulative sociopath who was anything but a true man without rank.” This being the case it seems to me the first step would be to repudiate her own erroneous actions of support for Eido Shimano. A start would be excluding him hence forth from stepping foot on ZSS properties, and refusing to pay him a penny more in compensation while he continues to teach in any venue.

Both the positives and negatives arising from my association with Genki Roshi and Eido Roshi have proved to be great catalysts in my own unfolding and development, and I believe they have served similarly for others. That they are not approved “Roshis” in the official Japanese Rinzai lineage is of little consequence to me. I derive my own confidence in having no attachment to rank or position from my own hard work. I have no need of a title, and I have nothing against accepting a role/title to assist in others’ unfolding. I hope to pass on the best of what I’ve learned in my more than three decades of Zen training, along with many necessary cautions. If I succeed in serving others in this way, I will be most blessed.

What is of great consequence to me, and all those waiting for real recovery at the ZSS, is that the Shimanos continue to be supported and honored by Shinge and the ZSS board, while those taken advantage of, over decades of abuse of power, are essentially abandoned by the organization. In my opinion, victims NOT support of the Shimanos should be given highest priority. Shinge and the ZSS board have as yet failed to sufficiently publicly repudiate and distance themselves from Shimanos or admit their organizational culpability. They are still caught in their own hall of smoke and mirrors. For my part I will continue to press for support for victims and will never hide the fact that my “Dharma Father,” Eido Shimano has demonstrated repeatedly that he is a narcissist of the highest caliber, who stands somewhere between Jerry Sandusky and Lance Armstrong. All three men have talent, but they, and their supporters, are in such denial that they have little or no idea of the harm they have done and continue to do by proving themselves incapable of real remorse or restitution.

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Personally, I’ve come to forgive Eido Roshi for turning out to be a sexual predator who preyed on the most vulnerable female students under his care, resorting to date rape when he couldn’t get his way, and passing STDs to his students.  Perhaps this forgiveness is not mine to give, as I was in no way abused or assaulted by him, but somehow I’ve come to understand that he clearly had no capacity to control his impulses, even though he was confronted about his problem multiple times over the course of decades.  I have no desire to see him in prison, even though in many states he would be in prison for having sexual relations with multiple females (often at the same time) in the “congregation.” And from my gratitude to him for serving many others and me in his role as a Zen Master, I even want him to have a decent retirement package, but not what appears to me to be the ridiculously absurd package he is insisting on.  However, given the facts of this case, I could only support a retirement package that was contingent on Eido Roshi’s complete retirement from teaching anywhere.  You see, though he has my forgiveness and understanding, I do not want more innocent students exposed to his abuses of power and authority.

What I’m not yet able to forgive is that Shinge Roshi and the ZSS board continue to expose the ZSS Sangha to this man that still denies he has a problem, at least not any kind of problem that would require him to work on his culpability. What I also cannot forgive or understand is why they are bankrupting the organization trying to pay him his deferred compensation at the rate of $90,000+ per year in compensation and benefits, even though he continues to teach in New York and elsewhere around the world. (See: http://playfulmoon.com/EidoRoshi/where.html ). Unfortunately, Shinge Roshi has told me he deserves this amount, which is why I think she is unwilling to test the issue in court.  Yet, by holding to this position, she and the board are indirectly funding Eido Roshi’s ability to continue to teach, exposing more students to his predations.  As many know, ZSS is currently seeking to set up a conservation trust with the Nature Conservancy for about half of the DBZ property, an idea which I support, to fund the Shimanos retirement, which I don’t support or forgive (see: http://www.choboji.org/NC.pdf), as it will continue to fund Eido Roshi’s teaching and predations off property.

Even though I had to leave the ZSS board because I was tired of being asked by Shinge Roshi to cover up for Eido Roshi multiple times (see: http://sweepingzen.com/interview-genjo-marinello-on-eido-shimano-zen-studies-society ), and my temple, Chobo-Ji in Seattle, terminated all affiliation because the Chobo-Ji board recognized that the ZSS was not adequately addressing those directly harmed or alienated, ZSS for better or worse will always be my root temple. Therefore, I am still hoping for its recovery, not its downfall.

However, to my knowledge:

1. No further exploration or healing with the wider sangha is scheduled.
2. The current operating ZSS bylaws have not been made public, I’m told because they are being worked on; however, this does not fit with any idea of transparency I’m aware of.
3. At this point the board is still essentially appointed, not elected, and the bylaw modification process is a board only concern.
4.  The long awaited forensic audit of ZSS books examining other possible abuses of power and authority, promised since the fall of 2010, has no scheduled completion date.
5. An organizational apology for its part in not better protecting its own sangha over decades of abuse has never been offered and no published ZSS newsletter has ever stated clearly why Eido Roshi resigned as abbot.
6. Eido Roshi retired in the Fall of 2010, yet his possessions still clutter both temples to such an extent that Shinge Roshi has not even been able to sleep in the abbot’s quarters of either temple. It is as though these rooms have become shrines to him or are awaiting his return.

Many have said to me, “Shinge Roshi is doing the best she can,” but sometimes we must come to recognize “the best we can” just doesn’t cut it, and if we are clear eyed enough to see this we must say so.  In my opinion, Shinge Roshi’s loyalty to Eido Roshi is clouding her better judgment and hurting ZSS’s chances of recovery. By supporting only the sangha left standing after another mass exodus, so many are ignored and left out of the process. At least this is how I see it.

In my mind, forgiveness can only come when one can reasonably conclude the abuse has stopped and those who have indirectly supported it have sufficient comprehension of the damage done that they have halted any direct or indirect support.  All I can say is Not Yet.  For myself, I will concentrate on my own practice with the Seattle Sangha, and I pray this is the last post I will feel compelled to make on this subject.

With palms together,

Genjo

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Towards the end of the meeting, I recall Shinge Roshi said to me publicly and privately that many of the steps that I’ve been putting forth as essential prerequisites for renewal and growth at the ZSS are indeed necessary and would be addressed.  The question that remains is when and how will these steps be accomplished, and which if any will be bypassed.

To begin I suggested that Shinge Roshi release the names of the four new ZSS board members and how and why they were selected.  In addition, it is imperative that the new ZSS bylaws be made public.  Announcing a projected date for the completion and public release of the forensic audit would also go a long way towards real transparency.

I can’t know for certain before the new bylaws are released, but I am suspicious that the new structure still does not include a mechanism to have at least half of the board directly elected by the active sangha. Given ZSS’s history there needs to be good separation of fiduciary management from the role of abbot.

I’m told the retirement negotiations with Eido Shimano Roshi continue to drag on.  My hope is that those negotiations take into account the fact that Eido Roshi’s actions have greatly diminished the resources available to the organization.  Moreover, I hope the needs of those harmed by his actions are not forgotten.  These realities must take precedence over the Shimanos in excess of $90,000 per year claims for deferred compensation and benefits.

I know that ZSS is working on a land trust deal with the Nature Conservancy and I think everyone will agree that the first use of these monies should be dedicated to the preservation of the properties for generations of Zen students to come.  Secondly, these funds should be committed to the healing of organizational ills and establishing a reserve of some portion of these funds to assist those most directly harmed by Eido Roshi’s actions.   Then and only then should the remainder of these monies be considered to fund the Shimanos retirement needs.  If these priorities are not considered in this order, then as Eido Roshi himself would say it is upside down thinking.

Sooner than later ZSS needs to issue some sort of organizational apology conceding that it could have done a better job to protect it’s own sangha from Eido Roshi’s abuse of his position of power and authority over decades.  At the same time, it will be essential to remove all of Eido Roshi’s personal possessions from the properties; disputed items will need to be placed in storage off campus. In addition, as soon as possible, Eido Roshi should be excluded from visiting either property, except to do funeral services for those who insist on it and to occasionally visit his family’s resting place in Sangha Meadow.  I think it is fair to say there was a general consensus of those present that only when there is sufficient separation from Eido Roshi will the complete truth of his abuses of power and authority be revealed.

When the above steps have been completed it will become possible to do further outreach to those most harmed and alienated with the intent of offering some process of truth and reconciliation at meetings held at neutral locations supported by professional moderators.  Part of the reconciliation process will need to include more all sangha meetings where the whole sangha and organizational leadership can learn together with professional assistance how to recognize and help prevent further abuses. This list may not be exhaustive, but I hope everyone reading this can agree these are the steps that must be taken if there is any hope for a deep recovery at ZSS.

I do wish Shinge Roshi and the ZSS board best success and good speed in accomplishing these goals.  I understand that at the current pace, this may take two or more years.  Many demand a faster pace, but continuous small steps in the right direction are far better than none. Once there is more separation from Eido Roshi and bylaws adjusted to allow significantly more democratic representation, I will make every effort to resume a more direct and active role in ZSS’s practice schedule and further recovery.  Only time will tell if the current ZSS leadership has the fortitude to follow through.

With palms together,

Genjo

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“Are you willing to say who exactly sits on the ZSS [Zen Studies Society] board at this time? I understand there have been at least two additions since I left. Were they elected or nominated? Has anyone else dropped off? How is the forensic audit coming? Any date in mind when it will be completed? Have the new bylaws been formally adopted yet? If so, may I have a copy, I think bylaws are designed to be a public document.” Shinge Roshi passed this off to Soun Joe Dowling, the ZSS Board President, to respond. To date nothing has been forthcoming.

I just read in a June 4th, 2012 email from ZSS:

“Zensho Martin Hara has been a Rinzai Zen student under the guidance of Ven. Eido Shimano Roshi of the Zen Studies Society since 1979. For 33 years since then, he attended many sesshins at both Dai Bosatsu Zendo and New York Zendo Shobo-JI, especially the observance of O Bon and Rohatsu which he attends each year. He was given the Dharma name Zensho in 1992, meaning ‘Fully Alive’. In 2010, Zensho was chosen to serve on the Executive Committee at NY Zendo Shobo-Ji as a representative member of the Sangha. He was also chosen by Eido Roshi to serve as his personal secretary since his retirement in 2010. Zensho’s Dharma talk ‘The Heart of Being Alive’ will share his early experiences as a Dharma Student, and how Rinzai Zen practice opened up his access to being ‘fully alive’ in the contemporary world today.”

There is no question in my mind that Martin Hara, one of Eido Shimano Roshi’s staunchest supporters (who is now on the NYC Zendo Shobo-Ji Executive Committee) is a bad sign. He is a lovely person and I like him a lot, but the selection of someone who, to my knowledge, has always adamantly supported Eido Roshi’s efforts to continue to teach students, represents the opposite direction of where I hoped the organization was going. This just confirms that the organization, under Shinge Roshi’s leadership, still has not come to terms with the depth of the damage done, is still unable to acknowledge the organization’s part in this, and will be unable to reach out in any meaningful way to those who have been most harmed or alienated.

I recently read the following quote in the National Catholic Reporter that speaks to the opportunity that is being lost:

“When a large group’s identity is threatened and power is lost, the healthy group will mourn before reworking their sense of self to accord with a new reality. When mourning goes well, there is a cleansing of mind, spirit, and psyche to go on after loss; to reconstitute self, relationships with others, hopes, dreams and beliefs in a renegotiated engagement with the real and the possible. There is self-examination about our own contribution to the control we are losing, perhaps ending in a rueful recognition that we never should have had that much control. The crisis of mourning well done can morph into a kairos leading to deeper connection with self, others and the Divine.

When mourning is refused, however, we may deny that loss is permanent and instead manically try to restore that which is forever changed. Nostalgia, memory’s rose-colored cousin, rules the mind and soul. In some cases, we select someone or something defined now as “Other” onto whom we direct rage for “causing” our loss of power and control even if our own behaviors actually ushered in the loss. Mourning is submerged beneath rage and exclusivity — we are OK, they are not; the badness is out there while goodness and heroism is within.”

Unfortunately, the course set by Shinge Roshi for the Zen Studies Society, sounds eerily familiar.  Clearly there has been insufficient self-examination about the extent of the organization’s missteps that allowed Eido Shimano Roshi to groom female students to feed his sexual appetite for decades, occasionally plying female students with alcohol and committing date rape to have his way. Moreover, I have personally felt what it is like to be the subject of attacks and misrepresentations of my motives and character by the faithful. With the selection of Zensho Martin Hara to be on the Executive Committee, I am losing all hope that the organization can turn around in any meaningful way.

Sadly,

Genjo

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I am not the only one who has reported being treated very poorly when they publicly disagree with the course of the ZSS administration.

I fully accept that there may be many different views on how to proceed, but I think dialogue here and elsewhere should stay on track about helping ZSS find its way to a more healthy future.  I consider the ZSS properties to be a national treasure, purchased by the donations and sweat of many hundreds of people alive and dead. As everyone knows, I resigned from the ZSS board in July of last year because I felt as though I were beating my head against a wall.  The board was going in directions I could not support.  But this fact does not abrogate my or anyone’s right to express our views on what we see and what we want to see to help this national treasure recover.  As a Dharma Heir of Eido Shimano Roshi I have a vested interest in this lineage, and as someone who has served on the ZSS board, an intimate understanding of the complications.

Here are the steps that I believe have been overlooked: 1) Eido Shimano Roshi should be excluded from being on ZSS property, 2) that there are good arguments that the 1995 Deferred Compensation Agreements that pay the Shimano’s in excess of $90,000 a year are bogus, essentially written by Eido Roshi himself, and should be challenged in court, 3) There needs to be a democratically elected ZSS Board, 4) There needs to be an organizational apology from the board of ZSS for not taking stronger steps to protect its own sangha, 5) There continues to be Insufficient investigation and outreach to those most harmed by Eido Shimano Roshi’s history of abuse of power and position.

I don’t see how any of the harmed or alienated sangha can feel relief or any possibility of being welcomed while Eido Roshi is still allowed on campus, at least the majority of the ZSS board is elected by the active sangha, there is an organizational apology, and further investigation and some sort of effort at restitution is made.

I’m sorry if this seems like a broken record or too much to ask for, but I will not be cowered into being quiet.

The stakes are too high to stop or divert the dialogue here or elsewhere to personal attacks. Shinge Roshi has done a lot to positively change the atmosphere and course, but still more needs to be done. I am asking that all of us offer Shinge Roshi our heartfelt support and sincere wishes for efforts to right the ZSS organization, but I’m also asking that we not fail to put forth clear ideas of what needs doing to support this great treasure.  If you think my ideas have merit, please support them by sending a letter to the ZSS board. If you think there are items I have missed or think some of my suggestions are too severe please say so to the ZSS Board.  At the very least ZSS Board can review our collective wisdom of what we think remains to be done.  I know that in the past they have been influenced but such written appeals.  Here is the contact information…

Attention ZSS Board President
New York Zendo Shobo-ji
223 East 67th Street
New York, NY 10065
(212) 861-3333 | Fax (212) 628-6968
email New York Zendo: office@newyorkzendo.org

With palms together,

Genjo

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Rinzai also reminds us that Zen Masters, or anybody in authority, can sometimes be too timid.  He says, “The Zen master who is like a new bride is afraid to be kicked out from the temple with nothing to eat, with no peace or comfort. Since olden days, our predecessors were misunderstood by ordinary people.  Only after they were kicked out did people realize how worthy they were.  If they had been readily accepted by ordinary people, what good would they have been?”  In other words, “Often a leader, especially a new one, can be like a new bride who is afraid to upset anyone in fear of being kicked out of the house, not knowing where she will go or how she will eat.” Rinzai is scolding the abbots or Zen Masters of the day for not being more radical and bold enough to deeply right the wrongs directly in front of them.  Isn’t it odd that often only after sages and prophets have been condemned by the populace, and sometimes killed, do we realize how valuable they have been!  In fact, if people readily accepted them, they probably wouldn’t have been very useful in the first place. Think about it, if one is “readily accepted,” then it is likely the status quo has not been disturbed.  Rinzai exhorts us to be movers and shakers! To recognize not only what’s wrong, but to be bold and clear about taking significant steps to right the wrongs that have been done, especially if they have taken place in our own house, state or culture.  Rinzai in this way is calling us to be bold and dynamic!  He is exhorting us to be movers and shakers, to call a spade a spade and to do what needs to be done to right past wrongs by boldly implementing redemptive steps with deep compassion for those who have been harmed.

I have no idea what Rinzai would think of the Occupy Movement, but I would like to think he would stand with those who have be disenfranchised, left behind, wounded, or harmed by society.  We must all do out part to work for more grass roots democracy, and support efforts that diminish ignorance, avarice, inequity, inequality and any sense of superiority that can mask or falsely justify leaving people behind without resources to cope in the world we have made.

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The question is how can the ZSS board demonstrate plainly that any impasse has cleared. I think the answer is relatively simple. I know a sincere effort was made at the Sangha Meeting, August 26-28, to bring the two factions together to hear each other so that movement could be made to arrive on the same page towards a healthy future, but it seems clear from the little I’ve heard of the meeting that the staunch supporters of Eido Roshi cannot even concede that there was sexual misconduct (See: http://www.zenforuminternational.org/viewtopic.php?f=73&t=3584&start=1341). Therefore, it is time to move on; please let the majority of those present be assured by your prompt actions that you heard them.

If together you can manage to quickly, 1) declare that under no circumstances will any ZSS property be sold to either Eido Roshi or some consortium that supports him (See: http://www.zenforuminternational.org/viewtopic.php?f=73&t=3584&start=1350), 2) exclude Eido Roshi from being on ZSS property indefinitely, 3) remind staunch supporters of Eido Roshi that they can train elsewhere, 4) offer an organizational apology to those the organization was not able to protect from serial abuses over decades, 5) adopt bylaws that allow for significant democratization of the board and the limiting of the role of abbot to conducting practice style and schedule, 6) announce that significant resources will be devoted to healing the deep wounds of those directly and indirectly harmed during Eido Roshi’s tenure as Abbot, then and only then will this board be able to established the credibility it needs to chart a healthy recovery and future. Take at least the first two steps immediately and I will rescind my resignation from the ZSS Board. The construction of the new Chobo-Ji Practice Center is nearly complete, and I have confidence that the root being planted will grow even if I remain a bit distracted by events in New York. However, if you are unable to take at least these two steps, then I will be approaching Chobo-Ji’s board to end all affiliation with ZSS, at least until this impasse has cleared.

In my mind, only by taking these steps can the current board and abbot offer any evidence that the organization is capable of honoring the good Eido Roshi has done. I know many critics will say that he could not have done any good given his flaws, but I will continue to adamantly disagree and say unequivocally that anyone who thinks only in black and white or good or bad has learned nothing about what Zen Buddhism has to offer. He was for me and many others a significant catalyst in our own unfolding, and for this I will be forever grateful. However, since he has proven himself incapable of discerning the great damage he has done, it falls to the current abbot and board to do it for him. This is truly the only way the gifts he has given have any possibility of being appreciated over time. It was an error not to have any mention of why Eido Roshi retired so precipitously at his retirement Dec. 8th, at Shinge Roshi’s installation Jan. 1st, at the “special announcement” July 2nd, or even in the recently released ZSS newsletter. I completely agree with Seigan (See: http://www.zenforuminternational.org/viewtopic.php?f=73&t=3584&start=1333) that there should be repeated acknowledgment of the terrible pain caused by both Eido Shimano Roshi and the organizational structure that allowed his abuses to go on for decades. May we all work concertedly to see that the wheel of Dharma turns with deep self-reflection and openheartedness at the practice centers we are associated with.

With palms together,

Genjo

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It has been a great burden mixed with great pleasure working with all of you over this past year through such difficult times. I feel we all have grown immensely from our efforts to serve our legacy and sangha. However, I’ve exhausted my reserves, and I need to concentrate on my practice in Seattle, as we will soon be opening our new zendo and residential practice center. Given our recent success encouraging Eido Roshi to be fully retired and not do any more teaching on or off campus, I feel we have rounded a big corner for the Zen Studies Society (ZSS). Therefore, I can withdraw from this board without feeling I am abandoning this organization or my commitment to True Dharma.

In addition, it is clear from our last Board Meeting that my position is no longer in harmony with the majority of this board. I feel that in order for ZSS to deeply heal and grow in a way that will allow a genuine opportunity for former students to return and the real possibility of cultivating new students, at least a moderate break from Eido Roshi’s presence on campus is necessary. I also believe that Eido Roshi should not have rooms or space devoted to him for his use on either property, and I’m frustrated that after six months of retirement neither of his rooms have been cleared. I think that this board is taking a huge fiduciary risk by allowing highly restricted but regular access on ZSS property to someone who has such a long documented history of ethical breaches. At this point, the slightest sexual transgression by Eido Roshi on our property would be disastrous for us. Given his recent documented lack of awareness of the severity of the damage he has done, as evident by his July 5th letter to us requesting that he be allowed to lead zazen and teach Dharma classes at New York Zendo (NYZ), I think it is a mistake to allow him regular, all be it highly restricted, access to our property. I fully understand and support the ideas of installing an electronic lock with camera that would only allow access for him at times that NYZ is not in use by our sangha, but really if these are the precautions that are deemed necessary, I think it is safer just not to let him on the property at all. Let me be clear that I have no interest in punishing Eido Roshi for past transgressions, and I support paying him and Aiho-san a decent retirement stipend for the rest of their lives; however, I am concerned by how difficult it has been to arrive at a mutually agreeable amount. Nevertheless, I trust your negotiations will soon conclude with a satisfactory arrangement that everyone can live with.

Overall, it has been a great blessing in my life to work with such a dedicated and determined group of people. I pray that any hard feelings generated recently between us, or by my departure, will quickly dissipate. It is my intention to attend two sesshins a year at Dai Bosatsu Zendo (DBZ), and I will be at the August Sangha meeting. If a committee is convened at the August meeting to assist with the development of new bylaws, I will volunteer to join it, as I am still committed to assisting the ZSS becoming a membership-based organization, where at least the majority of the board is elected by the membership. May True Dharma grow and flourish at both DBZ and NYZ.

With deep gassho,

Genjo Marinello

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Dear Chobo-Ji Sangha,

Here is an update on my recent visit to New York.

June 5th the Board met with Dai Bosatsu Zendo (DBZ) monks, residents and often attending sangha from 2:30PM to 8:30PM with a dinner break.

We heard mostly how many wanted Eido Roshi (ER) to be able to do a limited teaching schedule over the next two years. We also heard from some how my recent Dharma Talks have felt offensive to them, “slandering the father in the father’s house” sort of thing.

The Board made good arguments for why ER is retired and must stay retired, with little or no chance of any continued teaching at Zen Studies Society (ZSS) because of little understanding, remorse or any real redemptive efforts.

Shinge Roshi related that not enough people at DBZ were coming to dokusan with her. Most people responded that they either were still grieving and not ready for a new dokusan relationship or were still hoping for ER’s return, or simply didn’t want to offend ER by writing him that they no longer wanted him as their teacher (which has been a requirement up to now).

June 6th the Board met with DBZ monks and heard of ER’s response (or really lack of it) to a proposed joint statement with the board that asked for many concessions in exchange for some limited access to former students requesting it. This response was relayed by Shinge Roshi, but not advocated by her. Because it was clear that ER was either not willing or not capable of coming close to the steps the board outlined as minimally necessary for some partial reconciliation, it was concluded that a new statement would be drafted that reiterated the Board’s stance that ER is fully retired and will not be doing any teaching under ZSS auspices. The board also concluded that ER would not be invited to Obon ceremony, nor would the new DBZ front gate have any opening ceremony when completed. The Board also worked long and hard on a retirement agreement for ER, we are still feeling hemmed in by the unfunded 95 Deferred Compensation Agreements. A retirement proposal was developed that we hope to have ER sign at a meeting towards the end of the month, at this meeting he will also be informed that we will continue our policy of full retirement and no teaching under ZSS auspices.

I then went down with others for an all day sit, June 7th, at New York Zendo (NYZ) attended by 16 people. I gave the Teisho and tried to be a bit more PC, but still got complaints that I was too judgmental of ER. However, most of those at NYZ supported me and the efforts of the Board to keep ER fully retired.

After the all day sit, I had dinner with a former senior student of ER and heard some tales of further indiscretions that exceeded “consensual” sexual relations with students. Consequently, I have become even more convinced that we cannot have ER return to teaching in any way at ZSS.

In other ZSS news, we have finally gotten all documents, records and seals from ER. Our lawyer has gone over them and on first few there are many discrepancies, but no indication of fraud or gross mismanagement. We are now working with a couple of accountants to try and bring both NYZ and DBZ up to a level where an ordinary audit can be done. Our treasurer, is a volunteer, doing a great job, but is not an accountant himself. Once the books are ready for ordinary audits then we will begin work on a more detailed historical review of past years. The locks at NYZ have been changed, so now there should be no unannounced meetings or activities at NYZ that aren’t part of scheduled events.

There will be a mediation meeting the weekend of August 27th for the ZSS Sangha at DBZ. This will be a chance for all students to speak from their hearts, and I hope many who have concerns about the future of ZSS will attend. We plan to include an envisioning method called Open Space, led by Shoshana Susanne Triner. There will be no overnight or conference fee, but dana will be gratefully accepted to help cover costs.

Well, that is it for now, much more work to be done.

With gassho,

~Genj0

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Transcription of 3^rd day Teisho at Chobo-Ji’s 2011 Rohatsu Sesshin

Mumonkan Case 38:  A Buffalo Passes Through a Window

Koan

Goso said, “To give an example, it is like a buffalo passing through a window.  Its head, horns and four legs have all passed through.  Why is it that its tail cannot?”

Mumon’s Commentary

If you can penetrate to the point of this Koan, open your Zen eye to it, and give a turning word to it, you will then be able to repay the four obligations above and help the three existences below.  If you still cannot do so, work with the tail single heartedly until you can really grasp it as your own.

Mumon’s Poem

If it passes through, it falls into a ditch;

If it turns back, it is destroyed.

This tiny tail,

How extremely marvelous!

So we’re really in it now!  The third day of Rohatsu Sesshin, we are at the peak of complaints.  The body and the mind are doubtlessly throwing all kinds of daggers into us.   We acutely feel the fatigue, pain, confusion and doubt, you name it, it’s all up!

One person came to me in dokusan and said, “My samadhi’s so smooth but I hate everybody!”  (laughter)  I suspect we laugh because we all understand.  Someone else said to me this morning, “Rohatsu feels like a prison… more like death row really.”  Ah, Rohatsu is doing its good work!

In Zen, we say, “Die on your cushion” and sesshin is the best time to do just that. Rohatsu Sesshin is our most arduous sesshin of the year, which makes dying a little easier.  There’s a sign in front of most Zen Temples in Asia that says, “Don’t dare to enter unless you’re prepared to die!”  What this really means is, “be prepared to face your own mortality.”  It may seem severe or paradoxical, but we must be willing to surrender this life to deeply awaken and become compassionate, caring beings.  If you’re not willing to die then sesshin won’t be the catalyst it can be.  Please remember that all sesshin activities are mandatory and not optional, this also means that we should all strive to be on time or ideally early for all events including kinhin.  Of course, those who have kitchen duties or other assigned duties may be excused from after-meal kinhin.  However, too many people are showing up late for kinhin or zazen.  Please be early, not late.

Sesshin is short; we are already three days into our eight days together.  It moves quicker the further in we go.  At the end of Sesshin, you don’t want to have a regret saying, “Oh, it went by too quickly and I didn’t give it my all.”  Others have asked me, “How do you know how hard to push in Sesshin?”  With each activity give your all; however, there may come a time when your body just says “no.”  Your heart/mind and ego will give you conflicting messages, but your body is the best meter.  If you’re getting so little sleep or are in so much pain that your body won’t allow you to sit up straight, then listen to your body and don’t try to force something; pull back a bit.

On the other hand, it’s very easy to let the pendulum swing too far and be overly cautious or soft.   The Buddhist path is called the Middle Path.  This does not mean halfway between excessive softness and excessive tightness.  The Middle Path is learning how to regulate in this moment, because this is the only moment we have.   With each breath and sit, we attempt to be fully alert, attentive and present.  We attempt to give our all, but rarely do we do so.  Our distractions or delusions often win and persuade us not to do our best.  But it’s also true that the macho part of our ego may try to force us into giving more than we should.  The pendulum can swing in either direction.  Anytime our effort is not matching the circumstances of this sit, then we are out of balance and we are not making the best use of our time.  Learning how to discern what is my best effort is something I’m still working on.  Year after year, there is improvement, but our bodies are constantly changing, which means it is hard to find just the right balance.  As I age, I must relearn how to sit with the body of this age.  Right now, I seem to have the hang of it, but five years from now, I’ll have to recalibrate the right momentum for that moment.

Both Genki Roshi and Eido Roshi have often told us not to hold anything in reserve for tomorrow or even next sit.  They encourage us to give our all every sit. During one sesshin I made a vow that I would sit in full-lotus.  I kept it up for about three days and then, one sit, I pulled my outer leg up to complete full-lotus and literally yelped, “Ahhh!”  In that moment I was smart enough to break my vow and not do full-lotus that sit.  It didn’t mean that I gave up on full-lotus for that sesshin, but my body clearly told me, “No!  Not this sit, don’t be excessive by forcing it.”  So I backed off and sat half-lotus.  As the assessment of my body has become more refined and less ego directed, I’ve been able to give more to each sit.  Because I can read my body better, I’ve stopped worrying about tomorrow.  Now I ask all of you to join me in this effort to discern the limits of your body clearly.  Don’t be directed by your ego that will undoubtedly try to get you to be overly reserved or excessive.  Read your body well, and you will have no trouble finding the right balance for this sit.  Throw everything into every sit, don’t hold anything back for a tomorrow, but respect your body.

When we give our all and truly just sit, breath and listen, there’s a shift where we learn to relax even in the midst of deep fatigue, pain, desires or delusions.  Work hard not to be possessed by the demons that try to tempt us to play it safe or exceed our limits.  With this kind of effort, we eventually learn how to break out of the prison of our preferences and expectations. Don’t enter some fantasy realm or run some kind of mind-movie to escape from being present.  Instead fully participate in this moment of eternity.  Learn to surf the rain, wind and your many thoughts, feelings and sensations.  Relax and let your mind float on the current of gentle awareness, and the cushion becomes like a flying carpet.  Then in the midst of sesshin’s tight form and schedule, you will enter samadhi.  Your mind will be free to be anywhere and everywhere at once, and sitting still on your zafu and zabuton you will feel extraordinarily free.

This is a skill that we can take back into ordinary life.  Every so often, life throws us a curve.  When facing some crisis or marathon that requires all our attention and fortitude there is often very little wiggle room.  Such times can be very trying, but if we have learned at sesshin how to break out of the prison of our mind, and cruise in the midst of a very rigorous demanding schedule, then ordinary life feels like a piece of cake or a knife through warm butter and difficult times are not as problematic.  Therefore, there’s something to be said for all this rigor and discipline.  If we can learn how to enter samadhi under these trying conditions, then we can be free even when there are outwardly restrictive and difficult circumstances.

The first and in some ways most important step of our practice is to enter samadhi.  Step two is to go deeper, which can only come from our surrender to the absolute and requires the willingness to die on the cushion.  I could say the willingness to die for the Dharma or for our vow to care for all beings, but it doesn’t have to be connected to anything.  It’s just the willingness to let go completely, period.  When we are able to let go of our attachment to this life and our various ego identities, there’s another shift that is far beyond the kind of magic carpet feeling that can come from samadhi.  When this shift happens, we fully realize that our so-called individual mind is not separate from the Mind or Heart of the Universe and beyond.  This is true freedom because, in that moment, physical form, personal identity, all trials and tribulations are transcended, nothing feels separate or isolated from the heart of the universe.

Well, that sounds pretty free, but that’s only step two.  The third step is to learn how to walk life humbly, gently and genuinely as a Holy Fool, always ready to lend a helping hand, with no agenda to save or fix anything or anybody.  The Holy Fool is naturally kind and caring, always ready to share the burden, and often humorously finds the “burden” to be light.  The Holy Fool can be serious but is never somber.  We may feel this kind of light-hearted freedom at sesshin, but it takes decades of practice to consistently feel this way in the midst of daily life.  The Holy Fool is not boxed in by Buddhism, Zen or monastery walls.  The Holy Fool, which in my mind corresponds to Rinzai’s “Person of No Rank” and Tozan’s Fifth Rank, is truly emancipated and free to walk through this life with kindness and a gentle, humble heart, sharing an openhearted caring attitude in nearly every circumstance.  There are very few people walking the planet with this openhearted, caring attitude most of the time.  And I’m sure there is no one who walks this way all the time, we’re too complex for that to be possible.  But it’s not unattainable to be in this space more than half the time, and if we can cross this threshold our life is fundamentally transformed.

Even if we have learned how to live life at least part of the time as the Holy Fool, we must never forget that there still will be times when we’re not that clear and free.  We must learn to be cautious because, when we return to being motivated by our instincts for survival we will likely make ourselves miserable, and also everyone around us.  Of course there is a place for our survival instincts, a healthy need to be secure, to have enough, and perhaps a little more, but we can be so much more than this and we so often aren’t. To be free, the Holy Fool must be in the driver’s seat.

Can you see how this is related to the Buffalo whose tail cannot pass through?  To give an example, it’s like a Buffalo, and you are the Buffalo, attempting to pass through a wide window.  This is a Chinese round doorway window, big enough for a Buffalo to pass through.  You’re able to get your head and four legs out, but your tail cannot get through.  Why not?

What is this tail?  There are two ways to look at it.  One way to see it is that it’s our egoistic complications and delusions that are always tripping us up.  And the other way is to see it as our original self or true nature.  The koan is why cannot the tail pass through freely?   From an absolute perspective, why can’t it pass through?  I tell you truly, It cannot pass, but why?  And from a relativistic perspective or egoistic perspective, we can certainly say no one’s perfect so perhaps that’s why the tail can’t pass through.

It’s a wide-open window or door, so why can’t the tail pass through?  This is called a nanto koan, one that is complicated and has lots of twists and turns; therefore it’s often quite hard to penetrate and requires multiple clear insights.  In fact, when Josen heard that we were going to be investigating this case, she said, “Oh, the worst koan of all!  I hated that koan!  It drove me nuts.  Why can’t the tail pass through?  Why can’t the tail pass through??  WHY CAN’T THE TAIL PASS THROUGH??”  (laughter)  That’s the koan.

Mumon’s poem says, even if it passes through, it falls into a ditch.  Damn!  But, if it tries to turn back, it’s destroyed.  Double damn!  Such a conundrum!  If it passes through, it falls into a ditch, if it goes back, it’s destroyed.  This teeny tail, how extremely marvelous!  One of the things Eido Shimano Roshi has always taught is that we’re never complete, not yet, and he personally knows this well.  Not yet!  So one answer to this koan is we’re never complete, not yet.  Fine.  But putting that aside, why can’t the tail pass through and why is it destroyed if it turns back?

Nyogen Senzaki, about this koan, says, “A monk may have accumulated the gold pieces of meditation for twenty [or more] years, yet he might lose them overnight at the beautiful smile of a woman.”  That’s really what it says!  Nyogen Senzaki continues, “Others may live together for many seasons in a harmonious Sangha, but a storm of anger might sweep away the peace and make them enemies of each other.  Vanity, pride, self-conceit, envy, jealousy, and other emotions —each looks so small that one usually doesn’t notice it.  You Zen students talk of delusions and illusions collectively, and may think that you are free from all obstacles to enlightenment.  Each of you, however, is forgetting your own tail.”

Mumon’s commentary says, “If you can penetrate to the point of this koan, open your Zen eye to it, and give a turning word to it, you will then be able to repay the four obligations above and help the three existences below.”  A better way might be to say, “…you will be able to requite all the gifts you’ve been given.”  The four obligations are to your parents, teachers, society and ancestors.  The three existences are the realm of devils and demons, the realm of form, and the realm of non-form.  If you are able to penetrate this koan you can become a beneficent benefactor to the planet.  If you cannot understand, then work with this tail singlehandedly until you really grasp it as your own, until you clearly see why the tail cannot pass through.

Nyogen Senzaki goes on to say, “Some Japanese Zen teachers ask their students about the buffalo that passes through the window. ‘His horns, his head, and his hoofs have already passed through,’ say the teachers, ‘so why can’t the tail also pass?’  Those teachers are trying to mystify Zen teachings…  They are proclaiming themselves Zen masters, just because they passed several hundred koans in the secret rooms of their teachers.  They teach their students in their own secret rooms and produce similar Zen teachers.  It is a sort of school for magic and tricks.  It has nothing to do with the understanding of Buddha Shakyamuni and Bodhidharma.  The whole matter is nothing but a joke.  No wonder most Zen teachers in Japan now have wives and children.  They drink and smoke, and accumulate money for the comfort of themselves and their families.  They certainly have long, bushy tails, like foxes.” Whew!  Well, I’ve got a wife, a daughter, an airplane, and in my little esoteric room I teach you all the secrets of Zen!   I must really be in trouble!    Is Nyogen Senzaki talking about my bushy tail?  Eido Roshi’s?  Yes.

You may think that you understand this koan.  Even those of you who have “passed” this koan may think you understand it.  And you may think you’ve got your tail completely out; you’re wrong.  It doesn’t go anywhere.  It’s always with us.  That’s true of both the relative of absolute perspectives.  So, if you think you’ve gotten it out.  Look out!

Still, the question is, why can it not pass through?  Putting aside not yet, not complete and the fact that you’re never separated from it, why can it not pass through?  And, if you have a penetrating insight to this fact, I’ll continue to ask, so why can it not pass through?

Let’s review.  Here we are in prison on death row.  Gempo Roshi, Soen’s Dharma Father, says, “It’s as though you feel stuck in a small box, imprisoned.” That’s how we sometimes feel about life.  That’s certainly how we feel in sesshin from time to time.  And Gempo Roshi also says, “but you don’t realize that there’s no top to this box.  All you have to do is stand up, and step out of the box.”  That’s finding magic carpet samadhi.  However, this is only the first part of the journey.  Next is to lose yourself entirely, and find complete freedom.  From such an experience you may think you realize why the tail can’t pass through.  Still, if you settled for this much, you’ve missed it.  Finally, if you’re able to walk for even some of this life with true humility and a caring, compassion heart towards all, you might think, “Oh, now I totally understand why the tail cannot pass through!”  Watch out!  Watch out!  Look again!  Why can’t the tail pass through?

We are all on this path towards this impossible dream of being a Holy Fool in all our roles and in every endeavor and encounter. We practice to be naturally humble and caring, and to masterfully move through life like a knife through warm butter, turning the wheel of Dharma.  Of course we all know the wheel of Dharma turns all by itself, and the True Person is going in and out of our face at all times, but with practice we can become like a bee that pollinates and is not seen.  Even so, for that little bee, why can’t the tail pass through?  Already free, to fly anywhere, why cannot the tail pass through?  This is a lifelong koan and, if it’s not, you’re in trouble.

Gassho,

Genjo

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Dear Dharma Brothers and Sisters,

I don’t know how to put it more plainly, but please be assured that Eido Shimano Roshi and his wife Aiho-san Shimano did resign from the Board of Directors of the Zen Studies Society on July 4th, 2010. Their resignations were formally accepted by the Board, and we meet regularly by conference call, and when we are able in person, without their presence or undue influence. In all previous cycles of complaints, Roshi and Aiho-san have remained on the Board and this did indeed create circumstances that hindered the proper processing of similar complaints.

After this date the board has gone on to:

Engage the FaithTrust Institute to help us process ethics complaints and consult with us on how to best achieve a positive future for our Society.

We have instigated a complete rewrite of the ZSS bylaws that will be membership based, with a much more democratic structure, which we hope to have in place by late January, 2011.

We are pursuing a “forensic” audit of the whole financial structure of the organization so that we can understand all our assets and liabilities from the ground up.

After completing the first phase of our ethics investigation, we concluded that a sincere letter of apology was needed, along with a much earlier retirement date for Roshi. The board made this known to Roshi at our Labor Day weekend meeting with him.

The Board meets face to face with the New York Sangha Labor Day weekend and everyone is heard.

Eido Roshi writes his letter of apology that announces his retirement as Abbot at the close of this training season 12/8/10. Roshi’s retirement is officially accepted and acknowledged by the Board.

Aiho-san is scheduled to step down as the director of Shobo-Ji, New York City Zendo, by the first of the year. A new director(s) is being selected and will be in place by January 1st, 2011.

Shinge Roko Sherry Chayat Roshi will be installed as the new Abbot of the Zen Studies Society on January 2nd, 2011.

At every turn we have tried to respond promptly and with an open heart to every correspondence we have directly received to the Board or Ethics Committee.

As to Eido Roshi’s relationship with the Zen Studies Society after 12/8/10, this is currently a matter of much discussion by the Board. I cannot go into details on this because we are in the middle of our own discernment. Speaking for myself, I hope that Eido Roshi will be able to assist Shinge Roko Roshi to learn the forms and ceremonies appropriate for her role as Abbot for the first six months of 2011. I also hope that Eido Roshi will occasionally be invited as our retired founding abbot to give Teisho at either DBZ or New York City Zendo. However, we are all cognizant that Shinge Roshi will need to find her own footing and that an extended absence by Eido Roshi would probably be very helpful to make for a clean transition.

Finally, as I stated in my own newsletter, as “women come forward who are having trouble coping with the ramifications from these inappropriate relationships, the ZSS Board and I personally will do our best to be helpful…

There are no Buddhas; if I meet one on the road of life, I have found a fraud. It is a delusion to believe that we are either Buddhas or bumpkins. Everyone should know that you will never find one without the other. The good news of Buddhism is that we are not just naked apes but also Buddhas.

I have been asked how could a “Roshi” be so blind? We all have blind spots; unfortunately, Eido Roshi’s have proven to be repeatedly dangerous to the very Followers of the Way he has otherwise given his life to. Very tragic for him, the Sangha and most of all those he has wounded.”

With palms together,

Genjo Marinello

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