Someone with more than a wee bit of respect

Put simply, being respected makes life easier. People will want to listen to what you have to say, if you ask for something you are more likely to get it and you will find that your peers and colleagues will actively seek your company and friendship.

Have you ever heard someone say “Why don’t people respect me?” The answer to that question that you have to do certain things and act in a certain way to gain respect. You have to work for it – no one has the right to be respected. In this post I want to talk about respect and some things you can do to help you earn respect from those around you.

What is ‘Respect’?

Everyone knows someone who just seems relaxed and knowledgeable. The sort of person who when something is being planned they are asked to take the lead or their knowledge and opinions are highly sought after. This person never gets in to petty arguments and never gets called out over accusations of talking bullshit (pardon the language). This is because they are respected.

Put simply, respect is people valuing what you say and do.

Gaining Respect

To get respect you have to change the way you interact with people. The changes are small and easy to implement, but you will repeat them many times each day and that can make it difficult to stick with. Rather than try all my suggestions at one, make changes one by one until you are comfortable with each and then move on to the next one.

Always be honest. Never lie and don’t say things about yourself that aren’t true. When you do this people will either not believe you or your lie will be exposed at at a later stage. The urge to tell such lies is strong as we have an inherent desire to get one-up on the stories told by other people or to lie to improve our circumstances. For every lie you get caught out on, no matter how innocent the lie may seem, the level of respect you receive plummets. No one likes a liar.

Here’s something to think about. When a politician is ‘respected’ it’s usually because they have a reputation for being honest. Being completely honest is one of the best way to gain respect.

Take on challenges. Don’t avoid doing something just because it is difficult or awkward. You should jump in to these tasks with relish. When completed you will feel proud of your achievement and be seen as a someone who gets things done.

Think before you speak. It is far too easy to say something you may regret. You may offer an opinion that offends someone or that the majority of people in group you are with disagrees with. You may also say something you believe to be helpful or truthful, but which turns out to be anything but. To be fair, stopping to think before you speak is difficult if you don’t naturally do so, but if you can you’ll find that people will be more accepting of your views and opinions.

Pull the finger out. That’s an Irish way of saying that when there’s work to be done you should help. I’m not talking about the work that you are meant to do. I’m talking about helping with chores around the office, or helping a friend if they have a job that needs to be done. If you don’t offer to help with tasks you are able to help with you may be accused of being a bit lazy,

Rise above pettiness. How many times have you been in a group situation where you have been drawn in to a pointless petty argument about something trivial? We love to argue and we seem to argue more about the things that don’t really matter. If you can avoid being drawn in to such situations by simply stating your case and saying no more you will be seen a straight talker who doesn’t waste his time on silly and petty arguments.

The same goes for another petty concept, gossiping. Don’t say bad things about people behind their backs. Try to always extoll the virtues in people no matter how much they annoy you. If you have a genuine grievance with someone take it up with them directly or follow official procedures if you are in a work environment. Being seen as a gossip instantly reduces your perceived trustworthiness and you many find yourself being shunned.

Strive to be knowledgeable. Someone who wants to keep learning new things is someone who appears to be intelligent. Most people generally prefer to work with and be with intelligent people, we find comfort in knowing that we aren’t with an idiot. Read the news, or a new book every few weeks. It will expand your horizons and people will start to appreciate your you as someone who is a bit more knowledgeable than most.

Don’t take crap. If you are getting bullied, or someone tries to wind you up deliberately you should stand up and stop it. I know it is can be difficult, but failure to do so can mark you as a softy who can handle bad situations. Standing up to a bully or wind up merchant feels great and it it will make people respect you as someone who doesn’t let bad situation get them down.

I would also add that you shouldn’t let people take advantage of you. If you think that someone is becoming a bit too reliant on you and is taking up a bit too much of your time you should put a stop to it. If you let people take advantage of you they will just expect more and more from you and never respect you for it.

Be caring. If someone has a problem or is sad/depressed, offer to help them. No one likes an uncaring brute,

Care for your appearance. Looking good matters not only in your working life, but also in your personal life too. A well groomed and dressed man exudes confidence and people naturally trust confident people.

Don’t try be something you aren’t. I cannot stress this enough! Don’t try to change who you are to gain respect. Don’t create a false facade to hide your background, weaknesses or failings. Just change how you present who you are to show that you are happy with yourself as you are. Hiding the real you means you don’t respect yourself and could you respect someone who doesn’t even respect themselves?

As I was writing this post, I realised something. Respect is a sort of default opinion that we hold about other people, but an opinion that is completely overridden when someone does something to cancel it out. For example when you meet someone for the very first time, you respect them as they have not yet done anything to reduce the value of their knowledge or opinions. If they do lie, offend people or gossip you may stop respecting them and start seeing them as a liar, offensive loud-mouth or gossiper. Try to bear that in mind as you interact with other people!

Compared this to football (soccer) where the players will try every dirty trick in the book (diving, haranguing the ref etc) to get one over on their opponents and where they are terrified to get even a scratch on their bodies because they are worth so much money to their club and sponsors.

And the differences are not just limited to the field of play. At top-flight European football games hundreds of stewards and dozens of police officers are present to keep opposing fans apart. At a Rugby game the fans mingle happily in the stands and the only thing that the police do is direct traffic around the stadium.

The is a great sense of friendship in the rugby community and fortunately it is becoming more and more popular all over the world.

Some History

Legend has it that Rugby was created in the year 1823 after a pupil from Rugby School, William Webb Ellis, picked up the ball and ran with it during a game of football. Had he have done that at my old school the P.E. teacher would have sworn at him and sent him off to detention. Fortunately, Mr. Ellis went to much more enlightened school and we now have him to thank for the game.

The game was played in different ways until 1870 when the first set of formal rules were written down and the game has thrived since then.

The Field of Play

Scoring

Points are scored in rugby during open play in three different ways…

• The Try  (5 points) – A player grounds the ball between oppositions goal line and the dead ball line.
• The Conversion (2 points) – After a try is scored, the scoring team is allowed an attempt to convert the points gained from the try in to something higher. A conversion is scored by a team member taking a free kick at the opposing teams goal posts. If the ball goes between the posts and over the crossbar the conversion is achieved and the team gains an extra 2 points. The ball may be kicked from any length away from the goal line, but parallel to where the try was grounded.
• Drop Goal (3 points) – A player kicks the balls between the opposing teams goal posts and above the crossbar during open play or as the result of a penalty kick.

In addition, the following penalty score also exists…

• Penalty Try (5 points) – If the referee believes that the attacking team would have almost certainly scored a try, but a deliberate foul committed by the defending team prevented this from happening he may award a penalty try, which can be converted.

The Basics of Gameplay (I’ll try to keep it simple)

“If you think you understand the rules of rugby, you don’t” – Me, Just now.

The rules of rugby can be quite complex, but the basics are simple enough to understand…

The game is played for 80 minutes, split in to two halves. The teams swap their direction of play at half-time.

At kick off the team that wins the toss kicks the ball in to the opponents half, it must go over the respective 10 meter line.

The ball may never be passed forward. It can only be passed back along the field of play or kicked forward. If the ball bounces forward off you after you attempt to catch it then that is a ‘knock on’ foul.

If the ball goes out of play over the dead ball line, play is resumed from a drop kick from the defending teams 22 meter line.

You may not tackle an opponent above the the shoulders, nor should a tackle be unnecessarily aggressive.

A line out

If the ball goes out play over the touch line then a line-out is played. Two parallel lines are formed at a right angle to the try line at the point where the ball went out of play. A player from the team that did not kick/pass the ball over the touch line will throw the ball back in to the field of play between the parallel lines. The players in these lines will attempt to jump up and grab the ball after it is thrown in.

A ruck

If you go to ground after being tackled you must release or pass the ball on to a team mate immediately. However, if an opposing team mate touches you first them a ruck must be formed. In a ruck opposing team members bind together at the shoulders and attempt to push the opposing team over the ball so that they may pick it up as it comes out the back of the ruck. Hands cannot be used inside of the ruck.

A maul

If you are tacked and don’t go to ground and at least two other players (one from each team) are in contact with you a maul is formed. A maul is a bit like standing ruck. You hold on the ball and attempt to keep moving forward with it, your team mates will try to help you move forward, the opposition will attempt to push back.If the maul stops moving then the referee may say “use it or lose it”. This means you have five seconds to pass the ball. The ruck ends when the ball has been passed or it hits the ground.

A scrum (see top image) is called when play is restarted after one of the following occurs:

• The ball has been knocked on
• The ball has gone forward
• Accidental offside
• The ball has not come out from a ruck or maul

Scrums look complex, but they are actually quite simple. Players from each time bind with each other at the shoulders and attempt to push the other team back over the ball that is placed between them. They cannot handle or move the ball with their feet. They must push the opposing team and step over the ball so that it comes out behind them where it can be picked up by a team mate and play can resume.

So just how dangerous is it?

Not as dangerous as it looks. Because players do not wear any form of body amour, this ensures that each player plays knowing full well that a bad attack on an opposing player would ensure “Mutually Assured Destruction’. I.E. They run the risk of hurting themselves committing the act of violence, or suffering a revenge attack at a different time. Plus, the friendly nature of the game helps matters too.

The real dangers are in the scrum. Having so many heavy players crushing their shoulders and necks together brings risks. Fortunately the powers that be have brought in safeguards to prevent injuries. Scrums can no longer crash together, they must now pause before a gentle engagement. Only after the teams engage can full pressure be applied to the scrum.

Another scrum risk is what is known as ‘Cauliflower Ear’. The human ear does not like to be crushed. If it does get badly crushed it may start to look disfigured, a bit like a cauliflower in fact. There is no cure for it, save for some extreme cosmetic surgery. Although it looks rather ugly some rugby players take pride in the injury as it shows just how much they loved to be in the scrum. Cauliflower ear can be prevented by wearing a scrum hat (a flexible padded helmet that protects the ears) or by wrapping electricians tape around the forehead and ears.

Most rugby injuries are accidental and rarely serious. Though some players can get carried away and maybe try to tackle to hard or fast and suffer the consequences. Injuries can be prevented by playing sensibly and within the rules.

What about Rugby League?

Up to now I have been talking about Rugby Union. There is another version of the game called Rugby League. This form broke away from the union version in 1895 over the issue of amateurism. The Rugby Football Union had decreed that no rugby player could earn a living from playing the game, so a lot of Northern English teams formed a breakaway league. Immediately after the breakaway they started to change the rules of the game to make it faster by doing away with the scrum and requiring a team to score before it was tackled six time by the other team or else lose possession of the ball.

I may talk about league form of rugby in another post. It’s no less a game than union, it’s just that I have always been a union sort of person.

I’d like to know about rugby positions…

I have deliberate;y avoided talking about rugby positions in this post as I am trying to keep things simple. Talk of scrum-halves, prop-forwards and flankers can be very confusing when you are just tying to get your head around the basics of gameplay. I will discuss rugby positions and the rules of the game in more detail in a future post.

So why should I play rugby?

Firstly, it is game that does wonders for your physical fitness. It is a extremely energetic game that can be played by people of all shapes and sizes. It exercises your legs, torso, arms and brain too.

Secondly, it is a cheap game to play. All you need to play is a decent set of rugby boots, a cup, mouth guard and a tough rugby shirt. If you play for a club team they will ask for subscriptions, but these are low and they will provide uniforms.

Lastly, the game has a great social scene attached to it. I don’t know of any rugby club that doesn’t have a social schedule. If you join a rugby club not only will you be playing a great game, you will make great friends too.

What next?

If you want to play you should find a local rugby club to join. There are loads all over the world. they will be welcoming to you and take you on regardless of your ability. It is quite common for clubs to have multiple teams to cater to differing abilities.

Further Reading

The Wikpedia page on Rugby is a great place to start.

Before Jake was born we read a lot of books and scoured hundreds of websites trying to learn as much as we could about babies and toddlers in the hope that we would be the best parents ever. We learned a lot from the experts behind these books and websites. Alas, they neglected to tell us certain things that had we known before Jake was born our lives would have been so much easier.

Here is a list of 10 such things that we have learned…

1. Not all baby poo is equal.

Ordinary baby poo smells, we all know that. It’s bad, but not so bad that it makes you retch. However, if you feed baby some food with a high meat content, the stink level goes off the scale. I have never retched so hard in my life when I had to change Jakes nappy after a feed of Gerbers finest meat based baby food. And before you say anything it’s not just a man thing, my wife suffered the same too. So bear in mind that what you put in to baby has a major impact on the smell of what comes out of baby.

2. They learn to be manipulative at a surprisingly early stage.

At 4 months Jake learned how to manipulate those around him with cute looks in order to get the most attention. If there were several people in a group around him he would move his head to point at each person in the group and make a cute look. If the person failed to respond with enough attention for him, he moved on to the next person and repeated the process. Having observed this I can be certain that there were deliberate though processes powering these actions. When you think your 18 month old has just learned to take advantage of you, bear in mind they have probably been doing so for about a year already.

3. They are stronger than they look.

Although Jake is tall for his age, he is still skinny. This is perfectly normal for a toddler of his age. Although, he doesn’t look like he could take an adult on in a fight, the truth that he can lay down a fairly painful punch if he wants to. There have been occasions where either myself or my wife have been holding him and he has seen something that he wants to investigate (usually an animal of some kind). When this happens he wants to be put down immediately and will struggle to break free from our grip, but we have to hold on to him for safety reasons. Although we usually win, we pay the price through sheer exhaustion.  And just today I got a nice punch in the face from Jake after he decided he did not want to get eyedrops to help cure his conjunctivitis. To be fair getting eyes drops isn’t pleasant and I could see why he would want to fight back. So bear in my parents everywhere, toddlers are a lot stronger than they look.

4. Crèches will make your child and you sick.

Crèches are like aeroplanes in that loads of people come in to a confined space and force everyone else to share their germs, but with children instead of passengers. You child is going to get sick from other children, your child is going to get other children sick. And no matter what – the parents are going to get sick too. It’s normal and there isn’t lot you can do about it except take the usual precautions to prevent you and your family getting an infection such as eating healthily, exercising and taking vitamin supplements

5. The paperwork is a right pain.

Imagine a pile of forms that you will need to fill in for your child during their first year. Now multiply that pile in height by 10 and you will be heading in the right direction.

There is so much paperwork that need to be processed for your child that you never know when it has all been completed. For example this is a selection of things that we had to process for Jake in his first year…

• Birth registration.
• Hospital forms.
• Hospital bill.
• Community nurse paperwork.
• GP (local doctor) registration.
• Vaccination records.
• Never ending scheduled health check-ups.
• Passport application.
• Medical insurance applications.
• Child benefit applications.
• Bank account opening.
• Trust fund openings.
• Crèche/daycare paperwork.

The worst thing about all this is that there is no list of things you need to do paperwork-wise when a baby is born. We learned all this as we went along or got letter in the post asking why we hadn’t something we were supposed to. It was all such a pain.

6. Even more expensive than you think.

We all know that having a baby is expensive. Hospital bills, clothes, nappies, food, pram, car set etc. It all adds up pretty quickly. Sadly there are loads more other costs that are very easy to overlook.

Firstly, the car seat and pram you bought will have to be replaced. They don’t last as long as you think. Jake is already on to his thrid pram and he has just managed to break the foam inside his car seat. In fairness, we are fairly outdoorsy people and that could explain the rapid pram replacement. But we paid lot for each pram, yet only got about 8 months use out of each. You should expect the same no matter how much you spend.

By having a baby you instantly become members of the new parents club. All of a sudden neighbours, colleagues and friends will invite you to their children’s birthday parties. You will have to buy presents, it won’t be cheap.

You will discover soon enough that the cheaper nappies will make babas bottom a bit red and that you will have to buy the expensive branded ones from then on. The same goes for wipes too.

And I haven’t even discussed the cost of baby sitters and Christmas!

Yep, it’s more expensive than you could have ever imagined.

7. It won’t affect your social life, until…

…baby learns how to crawl. Up to that point our baby will be a little cute stationary bundle of love who will happily stay in their pram all day long. You can go to restaurants, do shopping and even go to the cinema without any problems. Once your baby learns how to move on their own say goodbye to your social life. From this point forward you will need attention 110% of the time and there’s nothing you can do about it.

8. Some people hate babies and will let you know this.

There are some people in the world who have a weird and downright irrational hatred of babies. There are the people who say things like “I hate being in a room with a crying baby” or “I don’t want that baby anywhere near me”. Some of these people will actually let you know how much your child irritates them. Although I have never experienced it as I am built like a proverbial outside toilet, my wife has. She has had people come up to her in restaurants and tell her to make Jake be quite, sometimes this happens when he is just making happy sounds and not even crying.

The people who say such things are idiots who don’t realise that they were babies once and probably caused the same commotion out in public. Babies do make sounds and yes they sometimes cry, it is annoying, but it is also a natural part of being ahuman being.

If someone says something to you along these lines just point out that they are being a hypocrite as they were babies too. Whatever you do, don’t let it get to you!

9. Most child locks are crap.

Yep, they are. We’ve tried loads and Jacob has learned how to defeat each one either through intelligence or sheer brute force. So stay alert mum and dad, always keep an eye on the little one.

10. Valuables will get lost or destroyed.

You can never make a house 100% child proof, your baby will find and destroy important things. You have to accept that. Jake hid my fancy Nokia N900 smartphone last October and I still haven’t found it.

11. It’s more amazing than you could ever imagine.

A bonus point just to say that despite what I have said above, I love being a dad. I wouldn’t have it any other way and I am so glad that I have such a wonderful son. Yes, it’s expensive and tiring, but I don’t care. Jake makes everything perfect for me and I recommend fatherhood to everyone.

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True, it is a handy thing to have, particularly when you are in a hurry. But the non-iron shirt, like many other advances in clothing technology, comes with downsides too.

My main gripe is they lack character. Traditionally made shirts wear away at a predictable rate. As an example, for the first thirty or so wears, the fabric is crisp and smooth and the colours are vivid. The next thirty wears will cause the fabric to become noticeably softer. And after that the seams and folds will start to show some light wear and tear and the colours will start to fade. Throughout this process the shirt will go from being one of your smart work shirts through to becoming a casual shirt and then finally a shirt that you wear to do housework or DIY. All the wear and tear the shirt has suffered tells a story, you can remember what you where doing when you wore that shirt. It will have become and old friend that you feel bad about throwing away when it finally can be worn no longer.

Non-iron shirts just don’t wear away in the same manner. This is because of how they are made. The fibres that make the cloth are soaked in a cocktail of chemicals, formaldehyde being one, that removes the fibres natural ability to wrinkle and crease. This process also hides the signs of wear and tear. The shirt will look almost like new after 50 or more washes. A character-less Dorian Grey of a shirt that is aging but hides the fact due to the ‘wonders’ of science. What you gain in convenience you lose in the character of your clothing and the potential environmental harm caused by the way the fabric was made. Plus, the non-iron shirt will never last any longer than a all-naturally made one.

There is also the fact that non-iron shirts don’t feel all that great against the skin either, they are a bit too ‘plasticky’ for my liking. Nothing at all like a wearing a well broken-in natural cotton shirt.

It is not just modern fabric treatment techniques that I don’t like. I have considerable ire for modern clothing construction methods. There was a time when all shirt collars were sewed together. Nowadays fused collars are common. A fused collar is in simple terms a collar that has been glued together and sealed using heat. It makes shirt manufacture quicker and cheaper, but a fused collar wears our sooner and cannot ever be repaired. Sadly, even some expensive shirts are made with fused collars too. Gone are the days when paying more meant you were more likely to get better quality.

What I have said above doesn’t just apply to shirts, it can apply to all items of clothing. For example expensive synthetic coats made from fancy waterproof ‘somethingorother-tex’ fabrics have incredibly short lifespans due to designs that go out of date quickly and the fact that if they get torn they are incredibly difficult to repair. A all-natural Barbour jacket can last decades if cared for and repairs actually make them look better.

My advice is to seek out clothing that is traditionally made using natural fabrics. Not only will they feel better to wear, they are easier to mend and repair and the lack of weird chemical cocktails being used to change their natural characteristics means less damage to the environment too.

So I have decided to try and replicate it here in Dublin.

Allow me to present The Annora Society, a Dublin based club for people who care about traditional style and being well mannered. If you think tweed is the ultimate fashion fabric, love wearing hats and are very particular about how your Martini should be served, this might just be the club for you.

Our inaugural meeting will be held on the 16th February 2011 at The Long stone Pub at 7:30pm. Look for the people in tweed.

If you would like to know more about the society, please have a dander over to our website for more details

We hope to see you there.

Jacob just doing what Jacob does.

So if we must work, then why not work for yourself? It’s the ideal middle ground between winning the lottery and working for a boss you hate.

Some of you may like your job and to you I say congratulations and to let you know this article isn’t written with you in mind. But you are probably in the minority of workers. the rest of us have aspirations to do something different and more enjoyable with our work lives.

I’ll start off by saying I am not self-employed, but that I really want to be. I would love to earn a living writing web software and writing on blogs. But having a young son means my time is limited and working a standard 9-to-5 job means I have some much need structure in my life. So every day I get up to work as a software engineer for a marketing firm. It pays the bills.

This post is to inspire both you and me to get up and actually start the process of becoming self employed.

Why Become Self-Employed?

I have though about this long and hard and come to the following conclusions…

No More Annoying Bosses

The industry I work in (software development) has changed a lot since the internet arrived. Previously, software developers like myself would be given a task and sent off to work on it at our own pace and to report back when the product was ready.

The internet changed that. Now software developers fin themselves working within target focused work environments under managers who are more likely to micro-manage. Rather than increase productivity, such work environments actually lower it and can also cause stress. I’d rather be my own boss and work at my own pace.

Flexibility

Of course, working for yourself means you can define your own work schedule. You could fit your working day around your family life. You can also take your holidays when you want to and not have to hope for your employers approval.

The flip side to this is that you may find yourself working longer hours. Being self-employed means that you not only have to do you regular job, but you also have to be a book-keeper and  secretary as well.

Realising the Full Value of Your Work.

The number one reason why I want to be self-employed is that I want to earn the full value of my work.

For example, if you earn “X” per year, how much extra does your employer make from your work. Is it equal to X or maybe X times 2, or maybe even more? In fact it is probably a lot more. In the case of a company that makes multi-billion profits then it might be several times more.  By working for someone else you are giving giving way some of your talent and effort for free.

Now to be fair, that is the trade off we make in order to simplify our working lives. You do a defined amount of work and receive a defined amount of compensation. You don’t have to worry about finding the work or seal with fluctuating levels of income.

I would rather realise the full value of my skills, even if it means I have to deal with the extra work involved in being self-employed.

So the next question is – What am I going to do?

I don’t really know to be honest. I’d like to start writing software, or maybe even develop the next facebook (I know, it won’t happen). Either way, I will keep you informed of my progress via this blog.

If you have any stores about being self-employed or any advice for someone contemplating going down this road, please feel to share them in the comments.

The idea for the post came about after a slightly luke warm discussion with some friends over a few drinks at Christmas.

One of my friends mentioned that he had some clothes that needed to be worked on by a clothes alteration bod, but he didn’t think paying €15 to have his jeans taken up was good value considering he only paid €35 for them. I mentioned that I had a sewing machine and did most of my own alterations.

Naturally, this resulted in me getting a bit of ribbing. But once that died down we started to discuss what essential skills we all should have. The sort of skills that ease our passage through life. Skills that may not always be put to use, but when needed would be really handy to have.

We managed to come up with a short list on the night. It was agreed that everyone should understand finance, politics and be able to cook. After a few more drinks we moved on to talking about some other nonsense.

The discussion got me thinking and I thought I would expand on the list we drew up that night. So here are the 24 skills I think everyone should have…

1. Basic Car Maintenance and Repairs

Being able to check and top up your cars fluid levels, replacing wiper blades and keeping your tyres inflated are simple things every car owner should be able to do. Do you know how to change a tyre or jump/push start a car.

Did you read the owners manual for your car? You should, it will tell you everything you need to do in order to keep your vehicle in tip top condition and keep down mechanics bills. It is also surprisingly educational as you will learn a lot about car maintenance that applies topretty much every make and model of car.

2. Cook

Being able to cook your own meals will not only be healthier for you as you will be eating a lot less processed food, you will also save money and impress people.

You don’t need to become an expert, you just need to be competent enough to manage most of the standards of cooking such as steaks, roast chicken, omelettes, roast potatoes, pies and soups amongst others.

You can teach yourself to be a good cook. All you need is a good cookbook and a willingness to experiment and try new things. It’s a lot easier than you think.

3. Decorate a Home

Hiring a decorating contractor can be pricey. You can save a lot by doing it yourself. Plus, it also gives you a good feeling to know that you decorated your own home.

Painting isn’t that difficult, all you need are good brushes and a steady hand. Wallpapering is another matter altogether. It’s easy to get the a paper on the wall, making it look like a professional did the job is much more difficult.

An evening course will help you learn all you need to know, and a lot of trial and error afterwards!

4. Mend Clothes

How many of you won trousers that are a bit too long? Do they drag on the ground? Or do they bunch up on top of your shoes? If so, you probably know that you should get them fixed, but maybe you don’t have the time to leave them in with a mender? Perhaps, the costs of going to a mender seems excessive? That’s certainly the case with me, I find it hard to justify spending €20.00 to take up the legs of a pair of trousers that cost just €40.00.

If you can mend and alter your own clothes you will save a small fortune and look better.

5. Balance Your Household Budget

This one is simple, basically you should spend no more money than you bring in. Sounds easy, but it’s a lot more difficult in practice.

If you can balance your household budget then you will be financially liberated with no need to make use of credit cards and overdrafts. And of course that will do wonders for your quality of life and you will never suffer from debt stress.

6. Save

This leads on from the previous skill. You should be able to save habitually. By that I mean you should be able to save a portion of your income every week/month as a matter of habit. Don’t save for a specific thing or for a specific length of time, you should be a habitual lifetime saver so that your nest egg constantly grows.

Plus, you should only dip in to your savings when you have a really good excuse.

Having savings on hand does wonders for your quality of life and could be a lifesaver if you run in to unexpected financial difficulties.

7. Understand Economics

Do you really know what inflation is? Do you know what it means for you and how the inflation statistics you hear on the news are compiled? You should.

Having a comprehensive knowledge of the world of finance and economics is something all people should have, but very few do. You may think that talk of stock, shares and bonds etc. have no impact on your life, but they do. If you want to be a good saver and build your nest egg through investments you should understand these things.

8. Understand Politics

When you vote you are influencing how your country will develop and change. So therefore you should be an informed voter.

When an election looms do you read party manifestos and make you voting decision based on what your have read and researched? If not, do you really know what you are voting for?

Do you understand the voting system or how your parliament operates and passes legislation? You should. By being better informed about politics you will be able to make a better voting decision that will make you a better citizen.

9. Clean and Launder

Okay, I’ll admit it seems like an obvious thing, but if you can’t clean your home or do your laundry properly I have to ask how on earth you get by in life with a stinky home and smelly wrinkled clothes?

10. Household Repairs

Nothing fancy, just stuff like putting up pictures, putting on electrical plugs, changing locks and assembling flat pack furniture.

Get yourself a good household toolkit and a book on DIY and your house will be less rickety.

11. Carry Out Basic First Aid and CPR

Something everyone should be able to do. Get yourself on a first aid course and be a lifesaver.

12. Book a Holiday

The days of going to a travel agents and booking a package holiday for a single fee are slowly disappearing.

The internet allows us to build a holiday from individual components e.g. flights, hotels, car hire and connecting trains/buses. Can you do this whilst saving money and making sure you can handle unexpected delays and diversions in your itinerary?

Transport providers are cutting costs ruthlessly and as a result you’ll find that they will not help you if your next leg is on a different ticket. So you need to be able to plan your holiday to take this in to account.

13. Camp and Hike

There’s nothing like a nice camping holiday, assuming the weather shines on you. It’s good for you and cheaper than going to a fancy hotel. And if you have children, they will love it.

Going camping without knowing what you are doing is miserable. Knowing what your are doing will make your trip much more enjoyable. Plus, a lot of the skills that you learn while camping and hiking can be put to use in  your daily life.

14. Care for Children and Babies

Even if you don’t have children, you should still read a manual and try to understand them. You never know when you will be called upon to be a lifesaver and do some babysitting.

15. Give a Massage

Is your partner stressed or in pain? They will love it if you could give them a relaxing massage.

Speaking from experience getting a massage from someone who doesn’t know what they are doing is not pleasant. So get a book and learn.

16. Give a Speech or Presentation

At some point in your life you will find yourself in front of a group of people having to talk to them. It might be giving a presentation at work or a toast at a wedding. Either way, it could be a nerve-wracking experience for you. If you can manage to give the talk/speech without looking nervous or fidgety then you will be better remembered and appreciated. People appreciate confident, friendly speakers. And if you are trying to get something as result of your talk you will be more likely to actually get it.

How do you be better a public speaker? Read up on it (there are loads of websites to help) and practice.

17. Help a Friend in Need

The true test of friendship is being able to drop everything to help a friend in need. If you have a friend who is in need you should help them. And I’m not just talking about practical things such loaning them cash or physical objects for example. I’m also talking about emotional help. If your friends suffered a bereavement or had a bad experience, could you help them and maybe give them a shoulder to cry on?

18. Be Charitable

Don’t be a tightwad, you should help out those less fortunate than you. I have included it in this list as some people do consider it to be a skill that mus be learned.

19. Build a Versatile Wardrobe

A good wardrobe is a well panned wardrobe. One that allows you to dress for any eventuality.

If you like a particular style of clothing, you may be tempted to stock up on similar items. You must resist this urge so that your wardrobe has some variety.

A basic wardrobe might consist of a few different suits, some casual items, a select of different business shirts, a few pairs of shoes – both business and casual, some sports wear and just one or two pairs of jeans. You could also add a dinner jacket/tux as you will be needing it at some point in your life.

20. Keep Healthy

This seems difficult, but it isn’t really. You just have to think about it and make a concerted effort to eat properly and get plenty of exercise. The only thing stopping you is you.

If you don’t keep healthy you might die early and that would be a very bad things!

21. Be a Connoisseur of Something

It could be wine, beer, art, cigars, whisky or food. It doesn’t really matter, but you should have a passion for something. It will be both a hobby and also bring you loads of pleasure. It will also impress people too.

22. Be a Good Host

If you invite someone in your home or to a party you should be always attentive to their needs and make sure they always feel welcome. It goes without saying.

Not caring for the needs of your guests can really create a dour atmosphere.

23. Understand Agreements

When you signed up for your mobile phone, dd you read the terms and conditions? Yes, I know they are complicated and full of legalese, but you are signing a legally binding agreement that commits you to a lot. You may have signed to to an agreement that allows the phone company to give your personal details to anyone they please or to allow them to up their prices without warning.

You should always read any T&Cs and contracts that you are asked to sign no matter how trivial they seem. Nine times out of ten they will be typical and just like any other similar agreements, but there will be times that you will find a clause you aren’t too happy with.

24. Finish What You Start

If you can’t finish what you say will will, then you run the risk of people calling you unreliable or lackadaisical. You’ll also find yourself having periods of frustration as you kick yourself for not getting things done.

Is this a skill? I would say it is. It takes good life control and organisational skills to be able to keep track of your tasks. This is something you can teach yourself.

So that’s my list. Do you have any suggestion of your own, if so please let us know via the comments section.

Happy New Year One and All!

I have to admit I’ve been  rather negelectful of this blog as of late. That is a consequence of being the father of a very energetic toddler. Time for me is something of a luxury right now.

But that is soemthing I intend to change.

I have two new years resulotions for 2011 – lose some weight and blog more.

This leads me on to make some some comments on the whole new years resolution thing. The fact is that most resolutions prove themselves to be nothing more than aspirations. We all say we want to lose weight, stop smoking or drink less and we do, for maybe a week. Then we find ourselves reverting to our old ways.

So just how do we keep our resolutions? I’ve been doing some reading up on some strategies and I have come to one conclusion – less is more.

Pick just one resolution that you know you are capable of achieving and work on it hard as you can.

You have to be practical. For example saying you want to lose 3 stones by April is not being practical. Most people will not be able to achieve such lofty goals. Saying you want to lose a few pounds each month untill you are at your ideal weight is a more realistic strategy that is more likely to succeed.

By working on achieving your goal as hard as you can you are more likely to turn it in to a good habit that stays with you forever. The more you work on it, the greater the chances that it will become part of you daily routine.

In short, be reailistic and focus.

I’d also like to add that you don’t have to start your resolutions on January 1st. Leaving it for a week or two can sometimes help you by allowing you to integrate your resolution activities in to your regular daily routine. It’s hard to focus on a resolution when you have a new years day hangover.

Site News…

I know I have gone against my own advice by adoptiong two new years resolutions – losing weight and working on this site, but I think I can get away with it.

I’m going to be adding more content to the site over the next few months.I have also lined up some great guest authors to help me out too. I’m even planning to start producing podcasts featuring talks on gentlemanly issues and some great classic music.

Keep checking back for more new content over the coming weeks and months, I know you’re going to enjoy it.

Robert