Genuinely Jarman

The Day My Almost 17 Year Old Waved At Me

2013-04-30T23:02:00.001-06:00

Let today forever be known as the day my almost 17 year old son waved at me.

In public.

But kind of in the privacy of the car.

I'm into sentimentality lately (just in case you didn't already notice). I think the idea of knowing I have a limited amount of time with my kids all under one roof has me seeing through a different lens.

Which is why I'm blogging about my almost 17 year old waving at me.

I had finished work. Tim had already left for work, and Nate (who needed the car earlier to get to and from his job) had dropped me off for a few evening appointments and was now picking me up. (I love being chauffeured and not doing the chauffeuring.) Then it happened. As I walked out the front door of the building and toward the car, I saw this super happy smiling teenager sitting behind the steering wheel waving to me like he was 3 years old again. (But back then he also would have come running at me... Not complaining though. I'll take a happy wave.)

Never mind that 20 seconds later, the beautiful moment was interrupted by siblings complaining about each other.

And never mind that by 10:00 tonight Nate's constant happy mood was driving me a bit nuts... (Makes me want to ask who he's taking to Prom.)

And never mind that he taught his sister an acronym that includes a swear word and she's highly offended that neither of us will tell her what it means...

And never mind that he drove to the store and bought a Dr. Pepper at 9:00 p.m. when it would have been nice to have him sleeping by 10:00 or so...

Ahhhhhhh..... Sentimentality.

Back on the Bottom Bunk...

2013-04-29T22:13:00.001-06:00

Joie and Gabby have been sharing a room since last summer. They're real-life frenemies. I wish I could slip a recorder in their room one day just to get in on all the conversations they have. I love that they can talk...and yell (but I don't love that part).

They take turns (odd/even nights) deciding if the door is open or shut, and turning off the light. This was decided because of nightly arguments about the light and door. Now it's peaceful. Mostly. Until somehow the other night it wasn't. This is a real conversation that took place between them a few nights ago...

Keep in mind, I didn't hear the conversation until it escalated, at which point I heard something like this:

Joie: Gabby! You have to turn off the light.

Gabby: If you want it off, you turn it off.

Joie: No! I had to turn it off when I was on the bottom bunk, so now you have to turn it off.

Gabby: You're an idiot.

Me: (in my best calm neutral, not-intervening in their argument voice) Gabby, we don't call names. You get an extra job.

Gabby: No, wait. Let me explain... (Insert lengthy explanation of how Joie made her get off the top bunk to turn off the light so she was just doing the same thing.)

Me: You two get to work that part out, but we don't call names. (Somehow that made them both hate this family, because apparently being in a family where name calling was ok would have been sooooo much better right then.)

Fast forward an hour (really a few minutes, maybe even seconds, but I'm going for dramatic effect).

Gabby: I'm sleeping with the light on.

Joie: Well, I'm not.

Gabby: Then turn it off yourself.

Joie: I don't have to.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Joie: Gabby! I said I wasn't turning off the light.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Joie: You're a big, fat idiot.

Me: (Voice no longer so calm and neutral) Joie! What did I just say?!? Now you have an extra job too.

Joie: Mom! That's not fair! You always listen to Gabby. You always give her what she wants.

Gabby: Ha!

Joie: See? She's such a baby. Always. Gets. What. She. Wants.

Me: (attempting the calm, neutral voice again) Joie, I know you don't want more jobs. No name calling. (And so on, and so on, and so on...)

At some point I got frustrated and gave up on not getting involved in the argument.

Me: You have two minutes to turn off the light. If it's not off in two minutes, I'm taking out the
lightbulb and you won't even have a light.

Light was turned out. End of story. Joie even got off the top bunk to do it.

End of commentary...on to the real story.

They switched Gabby back to bottom bunk at my request. My Gabby girl hasn't been sleeping very well. She's having nightmares again, so I've been doing essential oils with her at bedtime to help her sleep. (Yes, we've jumped on the essential oils bandwagon.) I told her it would be easier to rub them on her feet if she was on the bottom bunk. The next day they switched. (Exhibit A of how they also can work together.)

Tonight Gabby said, "Mommy, read me a story. It doesn't have to be a chapter book. Just a short book."

And can you believe I said no? But that was at first, before I had the thought a few seconds later that one day my house would be quiet at night, with no one asking me to read them a story, so I did.

I read her the story of her adoption day, and she loved it. Especially the part about doing push-ups in the court house withe dad while we waited, and the part about the sibling slumber party in the living room that night.

And I'm writing it all down so someday when my house is quiet, I'll remember those little voices who needed me. I'm sure I'll still wish they were here. I need to remember that on those busy, do-ing kind of days.

Mom, Why Aren't You Blogging Anymore?

2013-04-20T00:25:00.001-06:00

For some reason, the subject of our family blog has been a topic of conversation around our house lately...

And then the question: Mom, why aren't you blogging anymore?

To which I reply... (sound of crickets chirping)

At one point, it was just because my health was horrible and I just didn't have it in me, but I honestly don't have a good reason anymore. Illness has passed... Health is returning... The catch up game is calming down...

So here I go again. For real.

When our children were younger, I kept a family journal. When I figured out blogging, this became our family journal. When our children were younger, they liked reading out of our family journal. Mostly, it made us laugh. It was also fun to see the growth and changes. I know they all check our blog, even now that they're older, but I didn't know they missed it.

So for the updates:

Nate: Knee injury, which I think I may have already mentioned... Healing... Not healing... Surgery... No Surgery... And then finally, surgery today. I promised I wouldn't post the requisite hospital gown pics, even though he was just sitting in bed waiting to go into surgery when I snapped the photo. Actually, he did say I could include the picture, but I think he also said I'd have to pay him $50.00 or something like that. He told Tim $10.00. Sheesh! Does he think he's a movie star? The picture posted was actually one I took of him right after his injury--back in December. As far as I know, there are no royalties imposed for that picture.

But about the surgery: It was torn cartilage...and a piece of cartilage floating around in his knee. The pain around his ACL was actually a ganglion cyst on the bone near his ACL, which they don't do much about unless it is specifically causing pain. There was also some other inflammation and signs of a pretty traumatic knee injury that was trying to heal. They'll start physical therapy again in a few weeks.

Meanwhile, he hopes every day we find a car for him to drive... We're looking. We may have found something. I hope so. (But he can't drive for a few weeks anyway, so the pressure is off for now.)

He's also got a job now. He works at Arctic Circle. In his own words, "I'm Sponge Bob," (which really means he's a fry cook). The newness of the job wore off enough for him to brave just one more interview at an auto mechanic shop, which is perfect for Nate. It sounds like he got the job, so he may be moving up from Sponge Bob to...not sure which character I should insert here, but picture someone helping out around a mechanic shop...cleaning up, running errands, changing oil, etc. That's his new gig.

Megan: In a word, "sports." And singing. And friends. But mostly sports. Basketball season is over, but she wanted to make it longer, and wishes there was enough time to have eternal soccer and basketball seasons. Soccer has started with the first two games being cancelled, third being played in the rain, followed by a week of coughing and sore throat, and another game scheduled to play in the rain/snow tomorrow. She loves her comp team, but has outgrown them, which means a lot of team try-outs in the near future. She's awesome.

And friends... She'd probably also do that 24/7 if she could. I love that this girl doesn't ever get sucked into the drama of teen life.

And singing... I think we're the only carpool where the ukelele is preferred to the radio. (Some days it's both, but usually that makes the driver (moi) a bit nuts so we try to limit ourselves to one music source at a time.) Megan and her BFF who carpools with us both love to sing, and now they both have ukeleles. It's a sing-along carpool. Mostly everyone else is ok with that.

At home she sings too. All the time. Most parents threaten to take away iPods or phones if kids don't do homework or chores, but with Megan I have to take away the ukelele. (Although she did go through some minor withdrawal symptoms when she left her iPod on the game bus one day and couldn't find it until the next week.)

And she loves photography (see above self-portriat). She is saving for an expensive camera. She's almost there. Go Megan!

And she said something really amazing today, and made my day. She said all her friends say their parents don't listen to them, and she told them she can talk to her parents. (Huge smile.) She also said, "Yeah, my mom's a therapist." Apparently you need a degree to talk to kids. (Tim is just awesome enough to do it without a degree.)

Jeran: Just to explain the picture... Jeran has had some asthma problems this winter. We thought asthma was behind him, but over the last year and a half it's back. Usually he's ok, but he got a cold that kept him from going camping over spring break with the scouts... Apparently breathing is that important. Later that day we ended up in the doctor's office getting a nebulizer treatment, which he hasn't had since he was about 2 years old, and didn't remember at all. When the nurse gave him the tube that was spewing funky nebulizer mist, he looked at me and said, "Mom, this doesn't feel legal." Yes, he's that funny all the time.

He actually left earlier today for a speech festival. They're staying in Cedar City overnight. He's in a play next week...The Importance of Being Earnest. He's the butler. And he needs a tuxedo shirt and bow tie. I found a bow tie on Amazon, but I don't want to pay for a tuxedo shirt. Anyone have one we can borrow?

This kid is constantly a whirlwind of activity. If it's not something with school, it's friends. And he has awesome friends. One day earlier this year, I was going into the high school with my arms full. Instantly, three students rushed the doors and held them open for me. They were Jeran's friends.

He's also into all things geek. But he's not a geek. (Really, he's not.) But he can't wait for next weeks release of Iron Man 3. I think he has tickets for the midnight showing when it's released.

He's taller than me and stronger than me and smarter than me and he knows it. And he's great at getting things done so he has time for friends and fun... And I'm sure he thinks Nate is a better chauffeur than Tim or I because Nate will stop anywhere. I know there are stories upon stories I don't even know about their time together...just between brothers I guess. I hope one day they'll tell me (someday when removing privileges is no longer an option). Meanwhile, I just tell myself that they're just kidding and that really there is nothing that happens on their outings that they wouldn't share with me, because it makes me feel better when I tell myself that. And "in my world everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies." (credit: Dr. Seuss)

Joie: Once upon a time there was a mom who was happy with three beautiful children. Then unexpectedly one day, a little girl who knew hurt and loneliness beyond belief came into that mom's life, and showed her the joy of living (joie de vivre). That girl is Joie. (The picture is her with her cousin, Kedric, who is named after Joie's dad.)

She was also in a play at school. She was a patient in an insane asylum who thought she was in an army. She got to dress in camouflage and carry a fake weapon. (Yes, even in school... Don't tell anyone.)

And here's a really funny story. Joie is fearless. That's F-e-a-r-l-e-s-s with a capital F. And flirty. Also with a capital F. On second thought, I won't tell the story. (But if you ask, I'll tell you.) But the other funny part of the story was this... A few days after she was gutsy and fearless and asked a guy to be her Valentine, Tim was driving the kids to school and stopped at the store for donuts (because he's cool and awesome like that...insert picture of upset mom). Joie's valentine was also at the store. Tim rolled down the window and called his name. Yes, really. Because he's gutsy and fearless like Joie, but it turns out when dad is being gutsy and fearless, children are usually embarrassed and humiliated. Ok, maybe not humiliated, but embarrassed. And possibly he lost a few cool and awesome points also.

Other amazing things this girls does: She's a brainiac. The straight A kind of brainiac. And she recently started Tae Kwon Do. Her older cousin, Adrienne, was here for the week over spring break. She knew of a gym through a friend here in Utah where she could attend training/workouts for a week. They let Joie and Gabby join with Adrienne, and they got hooked. She broke boards last week. Don't mess with her. And another funny story... Son of the TKD master goes to Joie's school and had just been hitting on Joie and her friend. He walked into the gym one day toward the end of a workout, and was probably super surprised to see her there. (And I thought of all kinds of things I wanted to say to him, but didn't.)

And she's a good person. She recently had a friend tell her she was too happy. Life isn't without challenges, for sure. There are still moments of missing the people who loved her before this little girl came into our life, but she knows genuine happiness also. She is strong, and a good friend who listens and understands. I told her tonight when we were talking about girl drama, "You don't sweat the small stuff because you know there are bigger problems in the world." And it's true (unless the small stuff is with siblings. She still knows how to push those buttons.)

Gabby: This picture is for Grandma Campbell. She is wrapped in a baby blanket made by grandma. My mom made blankets for all our kids when they were babies. Recently she realized she didn't get to do this for Gabby, or for two other grand children who were adopted from foster care by my sister. She asked them about colors and styles, and a few weeks later, the blankets came in the mail. Apparently Grandma blankets bring joy at all ages. I tried to get her to save them somewhere special for her kids, but for now, they're her reading blankets in her room.

And she's caught up almost completely in school. She pushes herself every day. She never misses homework, and I don't have to remind her. She wants to be a doctor when she grows up, or play professional soccer. She and a friend recently made their life plan: Live together when they go to college, and play soccer in college, then be professional soccer players, then doctors. And never get married.

And she rocks at soccer, and being a friend. Gabby got sucked into some friend drama at school this year, and it's been tuff, but she's a smart girl, and doesn't let it happen anymore. (Can I just say I'm so glad the being a friend trait seems to run through my girls...huge sigh of relief.) Her teacher and other adults identify her as a leader in groups. Charisma defines this girl.

She's been busy lately, but keeps up. We usually say only one activity at a time for the kids, but Tae Kwon Do came knocking right after she signed up for soccer, and she does it all. And she still goes to ESL (English Second Language) tutoring four hours a week. One day this week she went from soccer to TKD with less than 20 minutes in between, and did chores and homework too. We decided next soccer season we'll suspend TKD for a few months. She might be able to keep up, but it wears me out!

Since school started last fall, Gabby has been remembering a lot of details about her life in India that I've never heard before. I can see her get stirred up once in a while, and know there is something in her mind ready to break free from where ever she's kept it stored before now... Details of her mom's death. Details of how she handled that loss, and how her brother handled that loss. Details of what her mom taught her before she died. Details of how she got here...and so much more. That's a lot of remembering, which isn't easy. A few months ago I started reading "The Whole Brain Child," by Daniel Siegel (great book, by the way), and just this week attended a conference where he presented. The key of "integration" is the main concept of his book (both within the brain, and in relationships and life). Gabby is integration, because when she isn't, she pushes herself to make meaning out of her many, many stories of hurt and loss. She inspires me to be a better person.

In fact, all of them do. I keep waiting for the proverbial "other foot" to drop in our teen world, but so far it hasn't. I seriously love this time in their lives. There is so much teen energy in this house that some days I think I could bottle it and sell it. (Who wouldn't pay cash to feel the energy of teenagers?) But for now I'll just breathe it in and soak it up, because it's the kind of energy that can't be bottled. I know it will be gone in a blink, and as crazybusy as it gets most days, I'm glad I'm up to my eyeballs in it. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

Last Dance

2013-03-06T22:21:00.000-07:00

I needed a reason to kick start me into blogging again, and trying to find a way to pay tribute to this adorable couple has done it for me.

Meet Ross and Darlene Moser, parents to my brother's wife, Melissa. The first time I met them was at Ben and Melissa's wedding, and I will never forget this soft hearted dad shedding real tears as he talked about his baby girl marrying my brother.

Over the years, as we've spent time with their family during family events, I've come to love this family of in-laws. I'm not sure I know any of my other in-laws the way I know the Mosers, and that's because they want to be known. They're genuine and real...and really fun, the kind of people you just feel comfortable around.

Last year we were all sad to hear that Melissa's dad had been diagnosed with cancer in his foot, but it was unimaginable when, only a few months later, Melissa shared the news that her mom had cancer as well. Over their months of fighting cancer, I'd laugh and cry as I read Melissa's email updates...which were just as real as her family.

But the one thing that always stood out to me in Melissa's emails was the spirit of living life her parents continued to embrace. Even on days when it seemed her parents felt their worst, there were memories being made with children and grand children.

A few months ago, Melissa sent out an email with the above picture attached. (By that point, I'd learned to read Melissa's emails with tissue in hand.) Of course the story behind this picture brought tears, but as always, Melissa's description had me smiling as well. The family was having what her parents thought was a surprise party for her brother. In Melissa's words, "As we were walking down the hall the band started to play. It was awesome! My Dad was really excited! He kicked off his shoes (he didn't have his dancing shoes, so socks were better) and grabbed Mom and started dancing."

Melissa then described how, for the next hour as the band played, she and her siblings took turns dancing with their parents.

That was Ross and Darlene's last dance together. Darlene passed away in January, and just yesterday, two months after his wife had died, Ross passed away as well. It's bittersweet to think of them dancing together in each other's arms once again.

When this picture popped up again on facebook yesterday, my mind filled with memories of times we spent with the Mosers, and how comfortable it always was to just sit and talk to Melissa's mom about anything...or nothing...or everything. It just didn't seem like words or a card or flowers could honor the memory of this life-filled, love-filled family, and the battle they've been through this past year.

Then it hit me... Random Acts of Kindness. We already have the facebook page, and it just seemed appropriate to pay it forward once again in memory of Ross and Darlene Moser.

Please join us. Forward this story. Forward the link to the facebook page. Tell your friends and family.

Saturday, March 9th is Ross's funeral, and while friends and family are paying tribute to him, we will pay tribute to them by spreading random acts of kindness that day in their name.

Join us on facebook or comment here. Share what you've done, or what you're doing, or how participating in another RAK day affected you... We'll pass it on to the Mosers.

Ross and Darlene, you're missed. Thank you for your inspiration and love (and for your amazing daughter, who is arguably the best thing that ever happened to my brother).

A Thankful Heart

2013-01-27T17:40:00.005-07:00

Last Sunday afternoon and Monday I was in bed feeling sorry for myself. It turns out pneumonia recovery takes longer than I thought...

And the air quality in the otherwise beautiful Salt Lake valley was the worst in the world this past week (even worse than in China, according to Jeran).

And everyone else was getting sick too.

Ever heard of the January blahs? We had them (or at least I did).

Then Monday afternoon the phone rang. It was someone from the Relief Society presidency (women's group in church) wondering if I'd teach the lesson on Sunday. I almost started to say I couldn't do it, but something in my said, "This is the answer to the prayer that has been in your heart all week."

The lesson? Consider The Blessings, by Thomas S. Monson. I read it, and thought about blessings, but still didn't feel very blessed.

I read it again. This time I thought I should try to pray for ways I could help people, even though I wasn't feeling well.

Through the week opportunities came. One day a girl on Megan's basketball team needed a ride home. My first thought was that I was too busy to take a few extra minutes to take her home, but then I remembered my prayer and knew it was one of those little things I could do. As we drove her home and she talked about her family and her mom's work schedule, I was glad I'd listened...and glad Megan had such good friends. I ended up telling her we could give her a ride any time, and I was the one who was blessed that day. In just those few minutes my day turned around.

A few days later, Megan's team needed a meal after their games. The team mom asked if I could help buy pizza for the girls. I said I could, and as I was helping drop off pizza at the school, I started talking to the team mom and eventually we were talking about soccer. We've been looking for a new team for Megan and Gabby, and the team her daughters play for (same ages as Megan and Gabby) sounded like what we were looking for. Again, I served, but I was blessed.

And so it went, all week. Me trying to be aware of blessings, and trying to be aware of opportunities to serve, even in small ways. Then about mid-week, Nate (who has been out of wrestling since mid-January because of a torn ACL) came home with news that the entire wrestling team had to take the week off and couldn't go to tournaments because they had skin staph infections they had all contacted from wrestling mats somewhere. I just looked at him, stunned, as the tears formed in my eyes.

"Nate," I said. "Do you know what that means?"

(Confused teenager expression in response... I'm sure he was thinking, "It's just a week... It's just staph... Why are you crying?")

But in an instant, I was insanely grateful for his horrible wrestling season...the torn ACL, the disappointment about not wrestling, the trips to the doctor, the knee brace, the PT, the uncertainty about surgery...all of it. Because all of that meant he didn't have staph. And staph, or anything remotely connected to strep, is horrible for Nate. A few years ago, after a long list of horrible health problems and complications, Nate was diagnosed with PANDAS, which, in a nutshell, means strep antibodies that are supposed to attack strep bacteria attack his neurological system (think rheumatic fever but brain instead of heart). It was a long road to recovery, and one I'm sure could be shorter if he had to travel it again, but I don't want to find out, and I'm sure, neither does he. (See here for long recovery story...not much of an explanation, but a little.)

All week since then, I've thought about how, when he was first injured, I hoped that something good could come out of this, but at the same time, I thought a lot more about how it seemed like Nate couldn't catch a break when it comes to good health, and (sadly) I was also a little put out at the inconvenience of all the doctor's appointments on my schedule. All along God was steering, just like I'd first hoped, but it took a while to see His direction.

Then as the week wore on, I realized all that driving and carpooling Nate had been doing for me while I was in bed with pneumonia wouldn't have happened if he had still been in wrestling.

And we've loved the relationship we have with him again because he's home more, and getting to enjoy his humor and random insights...

And after the doctor thinking Nate would need surgery, we are finding out that he might not, which is great news.

It's all been a blessing...

So (note to self) keep calm and be thankful.

I'm feeling better and better every day. I'm actually now only a little out of breath when I climb stairs. Mostly I have enough energy for a day, and I've just finished four consecutive days of work, which is a record since January 1st when I first came down with the flu.

And even though it's dumping snow outside right now, it was almost 40 degrees today, and the wind before this storm blew all of the gunk out of the air and we woke up being able to see sky and mountains for the first time in almost a month...and cleaner air is in the forecast for this week. I can already feel my lungs expanding.

Random Whiny Blog Post: Take Two

2013-01-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

So apparently this isn't mono.

It's pneumonia.

I started on antibiotics this afternoon.

I'll be better by Thursday.

At least that's what the doctor said. If not, prepare for Random Whiny Blog Post (three).

Mary's Sick Log: Week 215

2013-01-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

Ok. I know it hasn't been 215 weeks since I was healthy, but it sure feels like it.

There was mono last fall...

Then the flu on New Year's Day (which lasted a full week).

Now mono again, which I know wasn't really completely gone before I got the flu, but now because of the flu, the symptoms are back.

I hate being sick. You know that saying that you don't fully appreciate health until you're sick? Well, that fits me. I take health for granted until I'm sick, and I hate being sick. I'm so impatient.

And I'm pretty sure my family isn't happy about it either...

And there are still a few Christmas items to return/exchange...

And would you believe a few packages to mail still?

And ideas of projects, and things that need to be done... But all that gets done is work and the basic family things.

And random whiny blogs. (Check)

A Little Bit of Bliss

2013-01-04T06:56:00.001-07:00

This has not been a good health year for me... Mono that goes away but keeps lingering, and makes it so my eternal to-do list only grows and grows and grows. Now I've started off 2013 with a full blown case of the flu... Achy, feverish, sore throat. I need a new immune system

But the bliss...

Nate got his driver's license on December 31st, 2012.

The last few days while I've been sick, he's been the taxi driver.

Bliss!

I posted on facebook that if nothing else happens in 2013, my life will be complete.

...Ignoring the story of old man who didn't do a head check and almost merged into Nate.

...Ignoring that in a few weeks he'll be incapacitated because of knee surgery.

...Just enjoying it right here, right now.

New Chapter

2013-01-01T00:14:00.000-07:00

My facebook post today: "Dear 2012-- You pushed me around and even tried to intimidate me a little, but after all that, I'm still here, and you're going away. Ba-bye!"

One thing I learned in 2012: Better self understanding...learning how the things I react to in others are lessons about myself. (...Still going to keep working on that one in 2013, since I learned it rather reluctantly in 2012...took most of the year, in fact.)

Another thing I learned: There is a whole lot of good in the bad. 2012 brought so many blessings...personal growth, family growth, job growth, opportunities, friendships, love, renewed acquaintances...so, so many blessings. But I've admitted before that I'm a wimp when it comes to pain, and I'll be the first to hope that 2013 offers me far fewer growth opportunities than 2012.

But just in case, my motto for 2013 is:

image credit

I heard another great quote this year: "When you own your own breath, no one can steal your peace. Keep breathing." (Breathing in...breathing out...)

Happy New Year!

Donny and Marie--The Rest of the Story

2012-12-30T18:27:00.005-07:00

The truth: Tim is a fan. I know who they are. I appreciate their talent and professionalism, and I think they have an incredible story. I think Marie is an amazing, strong, accomplished, talented and resilient woman--love that she is real and what she stands for.

However, back when Donny and Marie were huge pop culture icons, I was growing up in rural Idaho, in a home without a TV because antenna signals weren't strong enough back then to reach us. My first intro to Donny and Marie (after we got a TV) was my mom being excited for us to watch their Christmas special on TV. My mom had also been excited for us to watch Lawrence Welk. For all I knew, Donny and Marie were in the same category as Lawrence Welk. If my mom liked it, I was sure it was my duty as a budding teen to not like them.

When I realized who they were, I thought their story was cool, but I missed out on the mania that creates lifelong fans...

Which is what Tim is.

When our children were younger, he bought a Donny and Marie CD and put it in the car CD player. One day my kids were singing Donny and Marie songs. It was then I heard that when I wasn't in the car, they would drive around with Tim with the windows down singing along to the Donny and Marie CD at the top of their longs. (So glad I wasn't with them.) I can appreciate the talent of the Osmonds without singing their songs at the top of my lungs, right?

But when their show was coming to Salt Lake City so close to Christmas, I couldn't resist getting tickets for Tim...

And what an amazing show. They really are talented performers... 50 years in the business and still going strong in a business that chews people up and spits them out...selling out shows 5 times a week in Las Vegas, winning awards in Vegas, where shows are known for pushing limits... That's impressive.

So, yup. There you have it. The rest of the story.

Day In Review...If You Give A Mouse A Cookie

2012-12-30T02:25:00.001-07:00

You know those days when the day leads you? When best laid plans get ignored? (a.k.a give-a-mouse-a-cookie kind of days.)

But before the day in review, I need to say Tim and I had huge plans to attend Donny and Marie concert in Salt Lake City later in the evening...Tim's Christmas present from me, and I did surprise him, unlike most other years. Yes, I bought the tickets in November and Tim still didn't find out.

Day in review:

Plan to do some winter cleaning...
Drove Megan to basketball practice
Start winter cleaning, which included a nice sized donation pile.
Tim was doing his some winter organizing of his own in his office...new set of shelves he built.
Couldn't get down the hall while he was moving the shelves in so I got put on guinea pig babysitting duty while Gabby cleaned her guinea pig cage (guinea pigs are a gift from Santa).
Jeran found Kohl's cash while helping Tim move shelves that had to be used by the 1st. (Note: Change of plans...add trip to Kohl's into my day, when I go to drop off huge donation pile, and pick up the tickets from my office where I hid them.)
Somehow the dog and the guinea pigs got into the same room...no harm. Dog was curious, but not interested in making Gabby's new pets into a meal.
Relieved of pet sitting duty.
Leave to pick up Megan from basketball practice.
Megan is dizzy and feels like passing out. She eats and feels a little better, but as we're talking about symptoms, she named some symptoms of diabetes (which runs in her genes...over 50% of the population of Marshall Islanders over 30 has diabetes...something I've always worried about).
Call a friend who is a nurse and takes care of daily testing for students with diabetes in our school district. Wait for her to call me back.
Megan feels better but is still pretty wiped out.
I go to Kohl's. Friend calls back while I'm there...thinks Megan should get checked out. Tim has a friend who also works with diabetics. He said the same thing.
Cry on the phone to Tim because the emotions of the day and worry about Megan hit me all at once.
Tim takes Nate to driving portion of his driver's license test. Nate passed. (Huge, loud cheering.)
Finish at Kohl's and go home to take Megan to Urgent Care without dropping off donations (which are still, at this late hour, in the back of the Durango).
2.5 hours at Urgent Care. It's their busiest week of the year (the nurse said so). All the while I'm wondering who Tim will take to the concert if Megan is sick or in the hospital and I can't go...
Turns out Megan's blood sugar is ok...She was dehydrated.
Stop at the store to buy some healthy food as Megan tries to talk me into every sugary treat imaginable because apparently, 2.5 hours of imagining her life with sugar restrictions had left her with some cravings (but I said no...such a good mom...who is more determined than ever to help this girl never get diabetes).
Get home in time to see the huge mess I left trying to get some cleaning done...which would have to remain a huge mess because no matter what, we were going to the concert.
But first I had to drop Jeran off at a birthday party and pick up the tickets from my office.
Enjoyed an amazing evening of entertainment with Tim and about 2,700 of Donny and Marie's friends.

Image credit shared by my friend on facebook when she knew we were going to the concert

...And the mouse hangs the picture on the refrigerator and stands back to admire his work and seeing the refrigerator, wants milk, then asks for a cookie to go with it... And the whole thing starts over again tomorrow.

Pondering Christmas

2012-12-25T22:41:00.001-07:00

It's 9:45 p.m. on December 25th. We've enjoyed presents, love, food, and companionship, and as this day ends, my heart is full of love for this season and this day.

I love my Savior--our Savior. The Savior of the World. It means so much to say, "He lives," because he does, and is a part of our lives every day.

Where would I be without His love? I can take anything to Him.

Anything. My joys, my tears, my love, my mistakes, my worries, my fears... All of it. When I'm hurting, or worried, I feel peace. When my heart is filled with joy and love, I feel His rejoicing with me.

And I am always amazed he does the same for all of us, where ever we are, and whatever we are doing. His love for us is personal, and reaches every person where they are in deeply meaningful ways that only we individually understand because He knows us that well.

His birth--the gift of God's love to the earth--is meaningful beyond measure. Last year I started a personal tradition of reading the Four Gospels by December 25th. It's difficult to do, for sure, and there was more than one occasion when I was cooking dinner or goodies or food for a gathering that I'd listen to chapters on my computer while I was cooking, and other times when I would listen on my iPhone as I drove... And I finished. And how amazing it was, once again. It strengthens me and lifts me and helps me focus on the incredible meaning of this season.

Without Christ's birth, there could not have been the gifts of the Atonement and Resurrection. Without His birth, my pain would remain pain, and I wouldn't know the gift of complete peace in the midst of worry. And most definitely, I wouldn't know the hope of once again seeing and living forever with loved ones who have died before me.

(Told you my heart was full.)

At the end of the book of John, Christ is once again with the apostles, and was teaching them after his resurrection. He lovingly counseled with Peter to feed his sheep, and then in John 21:18 Jesus tells Peter, "...When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not."

At various times in my life I read that verse, and it has had different meanings to me, but mostly a personal meaning to gain the maturity it takes to set aside my own will and live according to His will. That is such a difficult thing. But through my life, as I've walked those paths where the Savior has taken me wither I wouldest not, I've always known His peace, and it is because of that peace that my heart is full.

I know it is because of the Savior that on all these journeys where I don't want to go, He can somehow turn that journey into a journey of growth and love and peace that knits my heart to His.

And so it is that His birth means so much--to me, and to the world, that each of us personally can know eternal love and peace, not just after we die, but right now in this life as we walk with Him on our life's path.

Amazing.

Merry Christmas to friends and family (cards are still coming... I ordered New Year's card's this year, knowing we wouldn't get them out in time). My love and best wishes to all of you this season and in the New Year.

The Case of the Missing Chocolate Covered Cinnamon Bears

2012-12-18T21:59:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had these things? They're addictive! Seriously...

Try to eat just one.

We are no strangers to sports and school fundraisers this year. In the past 6 months we have had 2 fundraisers for a local frozen yogurt place (buy one get one free cards), a fundraiser selling potatoes (huge Idaho Russets...just in time for Thanksgiving), a coupon book fundraiser, cookie dough, and a few others I'm sure I don't even remember. We also had two fundraisers of selling all kinds of sweets...fun stuff that is overpriced, but very yummy so people will buy it.

Which brings us to chocolate covered cinnamon bears. One of our neighbors bought some from Megan. Megan delivered all the goodies except theirs, because they were out of town. (Those would be the chocolate covered cinnamon bears.)

And she naively left the tub of bears in the kitchen. Right where everything is fair game. Of course everyone wanted some. I asked a few times whose they were. No one answered. One of the kids even said they were a Christmas present from dad. And the boys said they were ours, that dad bought them from Megan in the fundraiser. (Note to self: Never believe hungry teens when it comes to claiming food.) No one admits to opening them, but several of us might admit to enjoying them...

Needless to say, by the time the neighbors were home and Megan realized what had happened, it was too late. We're hoping they accept a cute note and a treat...

(And no worries. We're going with the you-eat-it, you-buy-it policy so they'll get their money back also.)

Seriously, with all those fundraisers, if this was our only delivery mishap, that's not so bad...

Unless you're our neighbors.

Sidenote: Gabby graduated from NOVA today.

Sidenote #2: Nate went to an orthopedic specialist today and we found out it's his ACL that is torn. When the swelling goes down in a few weeks, he'll have surgery. Meanwhile he gets to wear his brace for a few more weeks, and is out of wrestling for the season...and probably spring sports as well. His goal: To take his driver's ed test and get his license before he has surgery.

It's Gabby Jarman Day

2012-12-17T06:33:00.000-07:00

This is a picture taken of Gabby when we went to meet her in Omaha two years ago. We went one week to meet her, and went back the next week to bring her home.

Today is officially Gabby Jarman Day--the anniversary of the day she became a part of the family two years ago.

I will never forget the feeling I had when we went to pick her up from school that day. In that one moment, as we walked from the school to the car, we went from a family of 6 to a family of 7. It's another one of those moments that is such a vivid picture in my mind, I could swear I've seen a picture of it somewhere, but no picture exists.

Can I tell you how much I love this girl? I can't imagine our lives without her. What a blessing she is to us!

For sure we're celebrating, although Gabby hasn't decided yet between pizza and Indian food.

And yesterday she told me, "I showered twice today so I wouldn't have to shower again tomorrow." She was totally serious. I guess she doesn't want to have to worry about a shower on her big day.

Sunday afternoon I read through the posts I wrote during the time we were preparing to adopt her, meeting her, and picking her up. (Tears...but happy tears.) I'll say it again. I love this girl. I love who she is. I love that we get to share her life. We are blessed.

See Gabby's adoption posts here. (The order is most recent to oldest post...scroll back and start at the oldest post to get the story.)

In October (back when mono took over and I wasn't blogging much) we made a trip back to Omaha to visit people Gabby loved before she came to our family...that story will follow soon (promise).

Today we celebrate!

I'm Declaring It Family Friday

2012-12-14T18:08:00.001-07:00

The tragedy on my mind this afternoon is the same tragedy on everyone's mind...

As you all know, early this morning a gunman entered an elementary school and shot 26 people (20 kids). His actions have left a lot of minds reeling today with questions about safety.

Personally, when I heard the news, I felt the same way I did on 9-11. I couldn't wait to hug my kids this afternoon. I wanted right then to go find them where ever they were at and wrap my protective parent arms around them and make sure nothing ever hurt them. Ever.

My next thoughts were about our crazy morning. There were too many things happening to fit into one day and it turned out to be one of those mornings. (If you're a parent, you know what I mean.)

Nate was sporting crutches and a knee brace, courtesy of a wrestling injury that was really a cross country injury that hadn't healed and was re-injured, and I knew I needed to try to get him in to an orthopedic specialist sometime in the near future.

Megan had to be to school early to take a test, and Joie needed to leave with her to go to a study lab.

Gabby needed Mentos, Diet Coke, and Play Doh for a science experiment at school, and the two stores I had been to the night before didn't have Mentos, so I knew I'd be on some kind of mission that morning before work to find a store or gas station that stocked Mentos...

And Gabby was worried she wouldn't get what she needed for her experiment.

Jeran was rushing around trying to pack up the 30-something birdhouses he had made and was donating to Primary Children's Hospital for kids in the hospital to paint.

Tim, who was supposed to be getting ready to drive Jeran and the birdhouses to the hospital was on a cleaning frenzy, which stresses me out because if he cleans I feel like I have to clean and that just wasn't on my to-do list for today.

Somehow in the process of us ~~arguing~~ passionately discussing housecleaning, the topic of kids' chores came up and poor Gabby only heard which jobs hadn't been done, and didn't get much credit for all she had done. I hate it when that happens, and I saw it on her face as soon as she heard it.

Never in a million years would I care more about a clean house than my children. (I can offer a free tour of our messy house as Exhibit A in my defense.) But that's the message Gabby got.

I also hate sending my kids to school upset. I've been known to take the long way to school so we can talk, or park in the parking lot to finish a discussion, and even drop them off late on occasion just to make sure we don't part ways upset at each other. It's funny what loss will do to you that way, and somewhere in the back of my mind there's always the thought that we can't part ways upset... Call it residual grief or a life's lesson learned. Either way, it's important to me.

Today was no different. Gabby had stomped out the front door and was sitting on the porch. I called her back in and we had a minute--just Mom, Dad, Gabby, and Jeran. Gabby got to hear how much she was loved and even what an amazing hard worker she was (because she is), and in just a few minutes our priorities were re-adjusted and relationships became once again more important than a ~~messy~~ clean house.

Why do I share that? Because today, like so many other parents, as soon as I heard the news, I thought of all those other parents who will never get to hug their kiddos again, and wondered what if...

What if that had been our school, in our town...students we knew and loved, or even one of our own children? And I thought of our morning.

Then I thought of people I knew, and found myself sympathizing with comments on facebook about wanting to homeschool, and sending prayers and love to people affected by this tragedy... All of us trying in every way like I was to make sense of senseless.

Then when school let out, I went to go pick up Gabby, and was relieved that (at least for now, until she starts hearing more about it) she was just happy with the goldfish crackers and apple juice I bought her for her snack before she went to tutoring. She heard what happened and asked a few questions, but quickly moved on to other things.

And as difficult as it was to not want to listen to the news on the radio, I turned it down and once again it was just me and one of my kids, and all was right with the world. Then I dropped her off at her tutoring class and fought the urge to disrupt normal and just keep her with me today. (Sigh.)

Then later when I picked her up, she was chatting about her day and asking for "Little Cheesers Pizza" for dinner because "Little Cheesers" is next to her tutoring, and she can't not ask every time we leave. It was all oh-so-normal.

And I was oh-so-thankful that things were oh-so-normal...

And the sadness of the day hit me again as I thought about those whose lives are anything but normal today, and whose arms will feel especially empty tonight.

I know Gabby will have questions as she hears more about it, and I know over the weekend we'll discuss it more so she gets to process it first before hearing it from her friends. The other kids have had questions too, and have already talked about it with their friends.

Sadly, tragedy isn't new to our family, and I learned a long time ago you can't make sense of senseless. I also know, more than I wish I knew, that I can't protect children from life (but that doesn't keep me from wishing I could, and even trying...because I'm a mom and I'm human).

At the same time, the lessons I've learned lead me like an old friend through helping me process this new tragedy with my children. I know without even thinking that my need to process isn't theirs. And I learned a long time ago that hiding my sadness and grief won't protect them, and letting my grief show gives them permission to do the same, even when what we're experiencing isn't the same. And fear... My fear isn't their fear, but how I handle my fear is a cue to them about how to handle their fear.

And that is why today, like every day, they will see me doing what I always do...breathing in...breathing out...driving crazy carpools, and dropping them off at tutoring and practices and bossing them around all evening as they do their chores.

And tonight, as luck would have it, no one has anything scheduled, so we're declaring it Family Friday, and watching "It's A Wonderful Life" together. And what do you know...the teens aren't even protesting (at least not much). Some days I guess we're all just a little more thankful for each other than others.

And an awesome Mr. Rogers quote shared today on facebook: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world."

Also some great resources about helping kids deal with tragedy can be found here.

Things That Would Make My Life Easier

2012-12-13T21:49:00.004-07:00

In no particular order...

A slow cooker that never over or undercooks things, because my slow cooker is my best friend, and nothing is worse than slow cooker recipes that tell you 5-6 hours when really the food is done in 3-4 hours...or less.
A grocery delivery service, because there's always that one thing I forgot... Today it was Diet Coke, Mentos, and Play Doh so Gabby can make a rocket in school tomorrow. I did remember the Christmas card for the foreign exchange student, and the cookies for the boys that came to help with Jeran's Eagle Scout Project, but I forgot the Diet Coke, Mentos, and Play Doh. Don't you think it would be awesome if stores rewarded frequent shopper moms like me by gifting us one free delivery a week? Wouldn't that be awesome?
A chauffeur...definitely a chauffer, but only when I really, really can't handle getting in the car one more time that day. Quite honestly, I do enjoy the conversations with my kids in car, and overhearing all their conversations with their friends, and overhearing two totally off-key teenager boys sing along with the radio at the top of their lungs (laughed so hard I almost crashed the car...kidding, Mom! But I did laugh hard, and will never, never forget it as long as I live). But it's that One. Last. Trip. Of. The. Day. By then I'm out of both words and brain cells, which are, coincidentally, required to make a conversation work. I've also been known to tune out my own children during such periods of time when brain cells are in short supply. For times like those times it would be a huge gift to have a chauffeur.
And while I'm at it, self cleaning dishes, laundry, and kitchen and bathrooms would be nice. Or a maid. By the way, my kids claim they're my maids... Sheesh! (Said in my best teenage protest voice.)
And a bank account that replenishes itself would be nice also.
And a magic wand or access to a really awesome genie without a lot of rules about wishes.

Back to reality. Now I'm closing my eyes and pretending I don't see the dishes in the sink, or the message light blinking on the answering machine, or the slow cooker waiting for me to decide what goes in it tomorrow...

And I did not just see my oldest son walk through the door on crutches.

I need a new genie.

16.5

2012-12-03T22:39:00.001-07:00

On November 16th, this kiddo turned 16.5. With each passing day, I'm more and more aware that he has limited time left at home. And I gotta admit, the idea of him not being my kiddo anymore tugs a little at my heart strings. People, trust me... It goes so fast. Don't blink.

He's almost half way through his junior year. Next year he'll be a senior. He gets his driver's license any day now... I made a new rule for driving the kids to school this year: Nate gets the front seat every day he rides with us because he doesn't have very many of those days left. (Really, it was my selfish way of keeping his close to me. As much as I hate being a taxi mom, I love talking to my kids in the car, and the older I get, the more fun those conversations are... And I know I have a lot fewer of those left with Nate than with any of the others.)

Friday Nate had his wisdom teeth out. He was semi-ok Friday and Saturday. We put a remote in his hand and gave him the really good drugs once in a while, and he was fine. They said the worst day for pain is the third day. Sunday was not a great day for him, and he was sure there was a piece of food stuck in the back of his mouth, and he was determined to pull it out (against the advice of his doctor, who said let it work it's way out). When there's something bugging him, he just can't leave it alone.

In all of his obsessing about whatever was in his mouth, I said, "What if it's just your stitches?"

Then the rest of us left Nate home alone and went downtown Salt Lake City for the LDS church's Christmas Devotional. Nate was here alone...just him and the remote... And a waterpik. He was determined to get that food out.

He's in a lot of pain today. I called the doctor and they said he may have given himself a dry socket by using the waterpik... We'll know tomorrow.

Seriously... One day they'll all just figure out that Mom's right and we'll avoid half of the things that fall into the "oops" category of life. Meanwhile, good thing we have a sense of humor. (When they were babies, someone told me I wouldn't get mad when I saw all the messes they got into if I grabbed a camera and took a picture instead of yelling. I guess it worked.)

Today, Nate came to me and said, "Mom, what if that thing that I thought was a piece of food is stitches?"

I have to say in his defense, that I was 16.5 once too. I think there were also things I had to figure out for myself...like gravity. My young and in love self decided to descend the face of a giant rock without gear because in the euphoria of being in love, we both thought it sounded like a good idea... I fell. Thankfully, a quick thinking ranger caught me and stopped my fall (and all I remember about him now is that he had red hair and an Aussie accent...the ranger that is, not the guy I was with).

Then later that evening, we thought it would be fun to drive in reverse down the dirt road that lead out of the canyon.

And my mom remembers that when I told her the story, I prefaced it with, "Before I tell you what happened, I want to tell you that I didn't even break a fingernail." (I clearly remember holding my hands up as proof, at which time she saw the scrapes down the sides of my arms.)

And 2 days after I had my wisdom teeth out I went skiing because adrenaline took over and the thought of a ski date with someone older who I had a crush on sounded too good to pass up. (It was my last and only date with him...wonder why?)

So I've done my share of sixteen and stupid, and Nate's obsession with his stitches and possibly creating a dry socket doesn't come close. I forgive him.

Funny though... Everyone in the family is now telling and re-telling the story of when Nate pulled his own stitches out when he was four. He'd had ear tubes a few years earlier, and the hole in his eardrum hadn't closed. Surgery was recommended to repair the hole, which involved taking a tiny bit of tissue from the back of his earlobe to graft onto his eardrum as a patch, hence the stitches in his earlobe.

I remember we brought him home from the hospital, and I did the same thing back then I did this time--put him in front of the TV. He'd been sleepy, and fell asleep as soon as I laid him on the couch, so I went upstairs to start cleaning the kitchen. Not even 5 minutes later he was standing there in the kitchen with blood dripping off his ear and down his shoulder, and as calmly as a kid could ask for anything he said, "Mom, can you help me get these stitches out?" Apparently they were bugging him back then also. I also still remember the look on the face of the nurses when I walked back into the surgical center with a bleeding child not even an hour after walking out. And by then Nate was tired and very, very aware of the stitches in his earlobe...not our favorite day at the doctor.

Nate gets that humor softens things for me. Today in an attempt to stop the "I-told-you-so" that he sensed might follow his stitches ah-ha moment, Nate said, "It's my own special trait. Removing stitches."

Nate, we love you. And all your special traits. Maybe you'll be a surgeon someday.

And no, you can't wrestle on Saturday if you have a dry socket. And I won't feel bad and give in. (But dad might, and I might go along with it.)

(And all this while we had carpet layers in our house from 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Of course that only added to the fun, but new carpet! It makes me forget everything else.)

Inspired by Nutella

2012-11-30T23:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Self: Should I be worried that the four food groups for my 11 year old daughter are Nutella, Nutella, Nutella, and Nutella? It's just a phase, right? Just an itty bitty, meaningless, normal, childhood phase.

Never mind that Nutella has twenty-one grams of sugar per serving. After all, it's also loaded with protein. Three whole grams.

And her little vegetarian self struggles to get enough protein. So sugar soaked protein is ok, right?

And please, dear self, whatever you do, don't start googling nutrient content of her former favorite foods to compare (quinoa bean salad, for example, with over sixteen grams of protein per serving, and absolutely no sugar).

And never mind that she won't eat any of her favorite fruits and veggies... (sigh)

And dear, dear self, if you do start obsessing about the above nutrient content facts, please remember: This is not about food. This is about a little girl having a need right now to explore the limits of her control...

And as with past food phases, she'll get over it, and once again start requesting those healthy favorites...

Meanwhile, self, what's a little hazelnut wrapped in sugar and a little artificial flavoring. It's nothing, really. And she does eat it with whole wheat bread...sometimes.

Just remember self, that you're growing a whole person, and her heart sometimes needs to be in charge so it can catch up with her body.

That's all. Nothing more.

So let it happen, and stop googling nutrition facts. Her heart is thriving.

Sincerely, Me

Jarman Heartbreak Hall of Fame

2012-11-29T23:37:00.000-07:00

freedigitalphotos.net

In a house full of teens it was bound to happen at some point...the sting of first love's heartbreak.

I'm not saying who, but in a family the size of ours with children as close in age as our children, there aren't a lot of secrets.

We've seen the symptoms for the past few days... (Images of the longing, sad faces of the characters in Seven Brides For Seven Brothers during that long, cold winter come to mind.)

There have even been tears, and the lament of, "Mom, you just don't understand how it feels!" (Dear child: There is a reason none of us want to ever re-live our teen years. Yours truly, Your Loving, Kind Mother Who Doesn't Understand.)

And there has been anger, and plotting revenge...hoping said heartbreaker would move to California or somewhere far away. (Or that the heartbreaker's head was a balloon that would pop or deflate.) As the mom in the story, I'd be ok with said heartbreaker moving to California... Or a remote island in the Pacific with no Wi-Fi or texting capabilities.

The true tragedy is the heartbreak goes both ways... (Sigh.)

And her friend said that his friend said that he said that she said that her friend said that his friend said...

Enough already!

Only in teen life (and Desperate Housewives, which by the way, I've never seen) could it be so complicated.

So at the point in the story when it was ok for the tears to turn to levity, we started a new tradition: It's the Jarman Heartbreak Hall of Fame. It's currently on a dry erase board, so if you come looking, we'll destroy the evidence. We all put names on the list. It was a good family bonding moment.

In the process, I learned the name of Tim's 6th grade girlfriend...

And things about my children that I didn't know before, but were suddenly ok to reveal in a tell-all heartbreak impromptu family meeting.

And for the moment, all is well and said broken heart is healing, until tomorrow when one broken heart has to see the other broken heart at school and the friends start talking and texting and it starts all over again.

I have a feeling this isn't the last time we'll be turning to the Heartbreak Hall of Fame. Welcome to life in a house full to teens!

It's Been A While...

2012-11-25T22:40:00.000-07:00

...Almost three months since my last real blog post? Really? (The last two were just acknowledgement of my little hiatus.)

Mono kicked my hiney. There are still some days I yawn at work (not a good thing for a therapist to do a whole lot of), and I'm amazed still at how fast I can feel exhausted. Mostly though, I have more days now where I feel "normal," so I'll take it.

But really... Where to begin?

November... National Adoption Month. Thanksgiving. Most years I have a lot to say about both. Our November tradition around here is to focus on gratitude by naming things we're thankful for every day and trying to fill up our kernel jar.

This year I heard a question early in November that made our gratitude focus a little different. The question was "Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch me or one of my family members this day?"

As imperfectly as we could with crazy teen schedules and a parent with mono, we tried to focus on this question when we talked about gratitude. ...Different twist, and I think a great way for us to focus attention on how God's hand is in the details.

Also on Thanksgiving Day, Tim and I celebrated our 18th anniversary. Happy day.

We even left the kids overnight the weekend prior to Thanksgiving to celebrate... All by themselves... All five of them... And the house was still here when we got back... And they're all still alive.

I know. Amazing.

And there's more... So much, much more, but I'm sure we'll catch up. Or not. Either way, I think I'm blogging again. Time will tell.

Apparently You Can Get Mono Twice

2012-10-15T11:32:00.003-06:00

No wonder I'm so exhausted.

And this sore throat that feels like strep comes and goes and won't go away!

And those days where I'm achy and feverish...

I just thought I must be getting every cold that is going around this fall, but apparently it's one really, really long virus.

But life goes on. Ibuprofen and Airborne are my friends, because I feel better and function better when they're my friends.

And as long as you don't kiss me or drink out of my water bottle, you should be fine.

And some fun news...

We're excited to be going back to Omaha next week to visit Gabby's sister and former friends, fantastic foster mom, etc...

Meanwhile, enjoy the fall pictures.

Joie was ticked that we had to go see the "stupid fall leaves."

Great picture. In reality she was running away from the camera.

Then she got into the whole idea of Hunger Games and suddenly the fall leaves weren't stupid anymore.

Then

Something about rugby conditioning...
He packs her around a lot lately, and obviously, she doesn't mind.

They hiked up from the clearing below where Jeran somehow got them to sit and just take it all in and create a mental picture of their visit to the mountains. They had a Walden Pond moment.

You would not believe how hard it was to convince Nate to join a family picture.
(Not like you couldn't tell from the look on his face.)

Please Stand By...

2012-09-16T01:37:00.000-06:00

...We are experiencing exhaustion, burnout, and fatigue. Please stand by. Tim will be finished traveling soon, and the logistical nightmare of being a mom to four teens and one teen wannabe will soon end. Really. It will end.

Meanwhile... My current quote to live by. (I love that it's from Winnie the Pooh.) You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. --A. A. Milne

The Whole Family Got Promoted

2012-09-02T20:57:00.003-06:00

How often is it the whole family gets promoted all at once? Really. Pretty rare, right?

Well, it happened to the Jarmans.

For starters, all five children got promoted to new grades in school. Nate is a (gulp) junior in high school. Megan and Jeran are high school freshmen. Joie is a "sevie" (a.k.a. seventh grader), and Gabby is in 5th grade.

Back to school pics...

My neighbor was kind enough to take one of Gabby. (I have a legitimate excuse. Really. Just keep reading.)

Gabby and her walking buddy, McKenna, whose mom will double as a pseudo mom in a pinch and does amazing things like sign planners for Gabby when she forgets to have me sign it, and takes back to school pics of my children. Don't they look thrilled?

And some real back-to-school photos. Adjusting to the schedule was hard work for Gabby...

Asleep on mom's lap during Family Home Evening

Another one:

Second day of school...asleep running errands after school

And no one else fought sleep either. We've all been recovering from a summer cold, and tired was going around.

Then on Wednesday, in the middle of a week of intense teaching, Tim got long awaited news that he got a promotion he put in for months and months ago...like last spring. (Extremely loud, very exuberant cheering.) Well deserved, indeed. He's amazing like that.

I was also promoted. (And just how do you get a promotion when you're a private practice therapist?) You move to a bigger office, with a lot of colleagues, maintain your private practice status (read: still be your own boss), and in partnership with a group of like-minded clinicians (read: over exposure to pure awesomeness), you offer a wider range of services and pinch yourself because you could have never imagined, in a million years, you'd be doing something this amazing.

Last June we signed the lease. In July we painted and got new carpet (in all our spare time), and in August we waited...and decorated (not me, but others who have the decorating gift), got our city licenses, changes addresses with insurance panels, and a hundred other little details associated with moving. Finally, this last week, we moved. (...The week school started...insane, right? Which is why I don't have back to school picture, but I did get all my children to school every day with back to school paperwork and notes signed, school supplies bought, and to all their gazillion practices, mostly on time). And I saw a full caseload, furnished and decorated a play therapy room, and my own office...

My family has been stellar! They're troopers, I tell you. Troopers!

They helped.

A lot.

And the end result is something really amazing. I see my first clients Tuesday in my new office. Exciting doesn't begin to describe how I feel. (Check us out by clicking on our logo below.)

After months and months of work and waiting, South Valley Clinical services is a reality.

And of course there was celebration involved...

Times like this feel soooooooo good.

And Nate topped it off with a new personal best time on a cold-ish, sort of rainy morning cross country meet.

Now that's a wrap!

If You Want A Happy Ending, Take 2

2012-08-22T13:11:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I posted this quote: If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story. --Orson Welles

It had been one of those not-quite-perfect, but content days...a good enough place to push pause and say, "And they all lived happily ever after."

Something in me just knew that with 5 teens, 2 dogs, 2 jobs, and a mortgage, content was just as good as happily ever after.

I was right.

Take two.

I love my teens, really I do, which is why I didn't go bat-freaking-crazy when I could have. (Patting myself on the back...)

But not coming unglued is far from happily ever after.

Take two.

Take three.

Take four.

Take twenty...

However many takes it takes...

And keep repeating, "My job is to keep you safe, and healthy, and to love you. That was not safe, or healthy, but I still love you."

If You Want A Happy Ending...

2012-08-21T22:02:00.000-06:00

I heard this quote the other day:

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story. --Orson Welles

The End.

(Don't you wish you could do that in real life?)