Geoff & Cami Brown

Letters to Payton: Month Five.

2012-01-04T18:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Payton:

Five whole months. I can't believe it. This month has gone by so quickly that it is hard for me to feel like you're that much different than you were a month ago. Except for the fact that you are now MORE than double your birth-weight and have legs that are about as rolly-polly as them come. I love how you look in a onsie and nothing else. I could just eat you up!

You are still an awesome sleeper. You sleep through the night and take at least 2 two hour naps everyday. You know exactly when to wake up and you kick your little arms and reach your arms up and greet us with the biggest smile whenever we come to get you out of your crib. Occasionally you will just sit in your bed playing with your toes and even sometimes I have woken up to you giggling all by yourself in your bed. What is so funny? I wish you could talk and tell me.

Every morning, your Dad gets up with you to feed you and I love coming out and seeing you sitting in his lap, or right next to him. You are often just talking away. You really adore your Dad. I love just coming and sitting with you guys on the couch. These little family moments are some of my favorite.

This last month you have started solids and I have yet to find something you do NOT like. You devour everything and sometimes fuss a little when it's all gone. You also grab at EVERYTHING. I have to wear my hair back everyday or else you will manage somehow to pull a bunch of it out. Sometimes when you get lucky you grab my hair with both hands and pull my face in and suck on it. I'd like to think you are being sweet and giving me kisses.

You had your first Christmas and got to meet your great-grandparents and your famous Uncle Brett. They all fell in love with you and you with them. You were such a good baby even though your schedule was totally messed up and you had to sleep all over the place as we went all over the city doing stuff. Such a champ!

You are truly such an incredibly happy baby. You smile SO easily which makes for some awesome photos. I was told just this morning by a good friend of mine that you are truly the cutest baby he has ever known (and he has well over 10 nieces and nephews). I would like to agree, but I may be a little bias.

We are still head over heels in love with you. Next month we get to take you to the temple and make you ours forever. That will be the best day of our lives. I can hardly wait.

Love,

Mom

Now THIS is the life

2011-12-07T19:54:00.001-07:00

Mmmmmm....

2011-12-06T20:58:00.001-07:00

This little guy tried cereal this week. Yes, my blog has come to posting about my baby eating solids. I am THAT Mom. And because Mindy Thornley was wondering, his stats for 4 months are as follows:

15.8 lbs (65th percentile)
26 inches (30th percentile)

Basically he is short and chunky! Just the way I like it!

Letters to Payton; Month Four

2011-12-04T22:18:00.001-07:00

Dear Payton:

You are now 1/3 of a year old! You’ve made all sorts of advances this month. And I am pretty sure you got even cuter! You sleep for 9 to 10 hours at a time which is spectacular- keep it up. When I lay you down, you always turn over onto your left side with your legs at an angle, You must also be practicing gymnastics while you sleep because when I come get you in the morning because quite often you are not facing the direction I left you. You always turn a full 180 degrees during the night. It cracks me up.

You’ve been rolling from your back to your side for a few weeks, but usually can’t get all the way over because your chubby arm gets in the way. But the other day you suddenly rolled from your stomach to your back. You seemed pretty surprised when it happened, but when we put you on your stomach again you did it a few more times. So exciting!

You put EVERYTHING in your mouth, and are almost constantly sucking on your hands. Now that you're grabbing everything, I have to really watch my hair! You love to run your fingers through my hair when you are sitting on my hip which I know you're just doing it because your hand is right there, but it always seems so sweet and tender.

You were able to meet your Grandma & Grandpa Brown this month and even though you weren't feeling your best while they were here, they fell in love with you and you them. I think you are the luckiest little boy to have the grandparents you do.

You’ve started smiling with your tongue sticking out ALL the time and I love it. So stinkin cute! You’re laughing a little more often, but they are still a special treat that we really have to work for. But when we do get a laugh out of you it is just about the sweetest thing. I can't wait until hearing your little laugh becomes a regular part of our life.

You're still in love with your Baby Einstein movies and you kick your feet when they come on and have the biggest, goofy grin on your face. I love it and love those movies cause I can actually get things done when they are on!

As your personality comes out more and more it just makes me so excited to see who you're going to be when you grow up. Your Dad is convinced you will be a scientist of some sort. We will see. (: Whenever I see things like dump trucks, trains, or dogs- things you'll find fascinating in a few short months- I just can't wait to share these things with you and see your excitement. Even though I'm always relieved and exhausted when you finally go to sleep each night, spending my days with you is the greatest joy I have ever felt.

You have become a momma's boy quite a bit lately. Part of me dislikes it, but mostly it makes me so happy knowing you love me that much. I will cherish these days because I know before long you will be way more independent.

We love you so much Payton. You will never know the amount of happiness you have brought into our lives. You are our little miracle and we are the luckiest people alive to have you.

Love,

Mom

Shabby Apple Promo!

2011-11-22T13:18:00.001-07:00

Hey Guys,

For any of you who are wanting a new holiday dress or want to give (or get) one, for the next two days you can order a dress for 15% off (because I am such an awesome customer) by following this link. I now own 15 Shabby Apple dresses, and love them all. They are beautiful. modest and make me look forward to Sundays even more! (: Enjoy!

Shabby Apple 15% off discount Link

Best sound ever.

2011-11-14T20:20:00.001-07:00

How delicious is Payton? Yes, sometimes I really want to take a bite out of him cause he is SO stinkin' cute. But no worries, I won't. You can get CPS off the phone now and enjoy this cute little video of the sweetest sound ever.

The Exercising Mom

2011-11-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

There are a few things I have learned the past three months being a new Mom. One, never under-estimate a baby and his power to create loads and loads of laundry. Two, be prepared to worry more about someone more than you ever could possibly imagine and love someone more than you could imagine. Finally, I have learned that no matter what, you need to take time for yourself.

This was really hard for me at first. When Payton came, I only had three weeks to mentally prepare myself to be a Mom. It was all a whirl-wind and when he finally came, I never wanted to leave his side. Even for a minute. I was afraid if I left him, I would miss out on something. His first smile, his first funny face, etc. But I noticed I was sluggish and not feeling good after only a WEEK of taking off from working out. I know that I needed to find time in my life to devote to myself and to find some "me" time.

For me, this "me" time comes from exercise. I know I am a better wife, mother, and over-all person when I take the time to take care of my body. I work full time (nanny-ing for another adorable baby the same age as Payton) and it is VERY tricky managing my time at home between housework, cooking, grocery shopping, taking care of Payton & Geoff and also finding the time to do something for myself.

I think it is SO easy for Moms to "let themselves go" and use the excuse of children because they become our whole world. But I promise you, you will have more energy, be more confident in your relationships and just feel better about yourself if you make the effort to exercise and eat healthy.

I feel better losing an hour of sleep and dragging myself to the gym, than if I were to get that extra hour of sleep. I have promised myself that no matter what comes in life, I will take care of this body, with all it's many imperfections, to the best of my ability. I truly am amazed at how amazing our bodies are. Just today I ran 6 miles, and as I drove home from the gym today I was thinking how crazy it is that I can go that far and that our bodies are capable of doing such amazing things. I will never be a size 2, and that is OK by me... But I am healthy and I will be able to keep up with my children and I am trying to do everything in my power to be sure I am around a long time to see them grow up.

Family Picture

2011-11-06T17:59:00.001-07:00

We have decided since we spent a lot of moolah on this new camera of ours, we better take lots of pictures with it... so today after church, we ventured off to Old Town Spring and took a few pictures. We decided that Payton will do anything BUT look at the camera when it really counts. This was the best picture of him that we took out of like 45. Oh well. He is a cutie none-the-less!

Letters to Payton: Month 3

2011-11-06T06:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Payton,

It has seemed you turned into a real boy this last month. It is as if all of the sudden, your body and brain just clicked and everything has changed. You seem even more like a real person now that you have more control over your little body.

We made a big discovery this month. On a whim, we found out that you loved this small little monkey "tiddlie-wink" snuggler. You were sort of fussing one day and I put it in your arms and immediately you squeezed it and stopped crying. You have been hooked ever since and we went and purchased about 3 more of those little snugglers just in case! They have become a real life saver. Plus, you look so darned cute with your arms wrapped around it. Everyone comments about how they have never seen someone so young so attached to something like that. Apparently, you are way ahead of your time.

You have become very wide-eyed this month and show such interest whenever there is a change in your scenery with your eye expressions. You have these amazing, giant blue eyes that literally melt the hearts of women already. I think we may be in trouble in the future because of that, but for now we love it!

We have also discovered how much you love to be read to. We try and make sure to read to you before bed-time and it is adorable watching you look at the pages of the book and smile. Your Dad has already taught you so much about science. His hopes is that you will be the only kids in kindergarten that knows all of the constellations. We will see...

You got your first real cold this month. You would hardly guess you were sick. You would have these coughing spells and then when you are done, let out this little sigh and then smile at me. I can already tell you are a patient little person and a go-with-the-flow type of guy.

We heard your first REAL laugh the other day and I am quite sure it was the sweetest sound I have ever heard. I am pretty sure you have figured out already that your Dad is the fun one. I thought I had at least a few more months. You always have tons of smiles for him when he gets home from work. You are still such a cheerful baby and smile a ton for everyone, especially in the mornings.

These 3 months have just flown by. I see a newborn baby and can't believe you were ever that small. You have almost doubled your birth weight and you are becoming quite the little chunk! I am thrilled you are growing and developing like a champ. We still pinch ourselves that this is all real. Quite often I look down at you while you are eating, and my eyes well up with tears because of how much I love you. It is so true that a mother's love is one of the most powerful things in this world. I would do anything for you. You are the loves of our life and just so so happy you are ours.

Love,

Mom

Evening at the Park

2011-10-23T20:14:00.000-06:00

We decided to go to the park after church today and had an impromptu photo session. I am really loving our new camera... It was worth every penny!

Oh, did I mention how cute Payton is? Yeah, check it out for yourself!

(Sorry, I am turning into a braggy Mom, I just can't help it).

Letters to Payton: Month Two

2011-10-04T20:45:00.006-06:00

Dear Payton:

This last month has been a big one for you. Your little personality has come out and you are one feisty little guy! You let us know when you are happy and you let us know when you are not so happy. You have been known to kick your little feet and throw a tantrum. I for one, think its hilarious and oh so cute. I probably won't think that for too long, but for now, just about everything you do is adorable to me.

You’ve started smiling all the time, but your happiest time of day is between 8 and 9 in the morning. I am not a morning person, but your smiles and coos are enough to covert me to be. Many mornings, I set you between us on the bed and we just sit and look at you and watch you smile back at us and laugh at your funny faces and cute sounds. You’ve started “talking” to us and your little noises just make me melt. I love it. Sometimes you take breaks from eating and just lay there and look up at me and tell me all sorts of things. It is so cute. It is even cuter when you do it with your dad. It makes me so happy to see you smile at him. He loves you so much.

You are a champion sleeper. I’m taking no credit whatsoever for this- I haven’t done anything to make you sleep through the night, but you’ve been sleeping longer and longer each night, getting up to 8 1/2 hours one night. So keep it up.

You’re so close to discovering your hands. Every so often you will catch sight of them and just stare in wonder. If I put a toy in front of you, you move your arms around- trying so hard to make them do what you want. One of these days your arms are going to listen to your brain and open up a whole new world.

You’ve changed so much in the last month. You have much more of a personality and you’re getting to be way more fun. You’re turning into a real person, and it makes me so excited as you become less of a blob and more of a little dude. It makes this motherhood thing so much easier and way more fun. I honestly can't imagine doing anything else in my life than taking care of you. I am so glad that I am able to be with you all day long.

You love being in your stroller, so we go on walks frequently, especially as it is getting cooler outside- I’m worried your first word might be “Target”. Whenever we're out and about, people comment on how cute you are. The nurse at the pediatrician's office even said that you were "almost too cute to be a boy." It is nice to know that it isn't just us that just can't believe how cute you are. I love that random strangers want to come look at you and comment about what a sweet boy you are and what amazing blue eyes you have.

Keep up the good work, kid. You are such a great baby and you make our life way more fun. Spending my days with you has become the greatest joy of my life and it really does get better and better every day. It is hard and sometimes I wonder what in the world I am doing, but you make it an absolute joy. Seeing you grow and develop is amazing to me and I can tell that it is just going to get more fun as you start to learn new things. Thanks for making our life so great.

Love,

Mom

I dare you...

2011-09-17T15:43:00.000-06:00

...not to cry. I sure did. Geoff made this for me. Yes, it's totally cheesy but I adore it.

Cried like a big freakin baby!

Brainwashed?

2011-09-10T20:48:00.002-06:00

Maybe.

But he sure looks cute in this UT onesie. ESPECIALLY when Texas beat BYU (it was a close game but we won and that's all that matters right, winning??)

The best part of all of this is, I had a bet with my Brother-in-law, a die hard BYU fan, that whoever lost would have a picture of their child holding a sign promoting the opposing team on facebook.
Thank goodness Payton will not have to do that.

Phew.

Hook 'em horns!

Staying Home

2011-09-08T17:26:00.000-06:00

So many people have asked me how I am adjusting to staying at home with Payton after so many years of being a "working girl". Well, to be honest, I am totally loving it!

Yes, I am totally exhausted some days after late nights with the little guy, but man, is there anything on earth more amazing than caring for a sweet baby??

After wanting this for so long, and working so hard to get my little boy... I will never take for granted the blessing of being able to stay home and be with him. I may not always be a stay-at-home-mom, but for now, it's where I need to be and I am loving every minute of it.

I mean... how could I not when I get to be with this chubby little man all day??

Exactly.

Letter to Payton; Month One

2011-09-05T22:33:00.000-06:00

I'm stealing this idea from a stranger's blog that I read. She writes a letter to her daughter every month and I think it is such a great idea. Hopefully I'll be somewhat successful and actually carry this idea out. And hopefully my other children won't hate me if I don't have time to do this for them. My plan is to make blog books since I am a horrible journal writer... we will see how this goes.

Dear Payton,

Welcome to the world my little man. This last month has been both the hardest and best month of my life. You are a remarkably easy baby, but this is still hard work. Possibly the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding.

The day you arrived was a bit of a blur. I remember when they rolled you in to meet us and looking down at you, all wrinkly and small and scooping you up to hold you against my chest -- I was just in shock that you were finally here and that you were OURS.

There was no doubt in my mind at that moment that Heavenly Father sent you to us. You looked so chubby and cute then. When you were about a week and half old, and had finally gained back the weight you lost your first week, I was holding you up in just a diaper and you were squirming around. You looked so much like you did in your first moment of life and all the tears I had shed when you were born came rushing out all over again. Even now as I write this and think about those first few moments we had as a new little family, I'm fighting back the lump in my throat.

I love the smell of your little head and seriously think they should bottle that smell. It would fly off the shelves. I can't get enough of it.

Even when I'm exhausted and you just won't go to sleep, there's nothing quite like feeling your fuzzy little head on my cheek and taking as much of that amazing smell in as I can.

There are several times through out each day when I am holding you and I just am overcome with love for you that I just need to squeeze you and kiss your little cheeks or your chubby little neck. I am constantly yelling to your Dad to look at you and how cute you are. He never disagrees.

One of my favorite things is the smiles you make when you're sleeping. Almost every time you fall asleep a huge smile creeps across your face in the moment when you finally close your eyes. It is like your body is just so happy to finally give in to the sleep.

Over the last several days you've started smiling for real sometimes but just for me. It is the best thing in the world and melts my heart each precious time it happens.
I fall in love with you a little more every time your eyes light up and that huge, adorable smile creeps out.

You are freakishly strong. Seriously. You've been able to hold your head up since we were in the hospital and have just been getting stronger and stronger as the weeks go by. Your arms are so strong that when I have to forcibly move them to get the out of the way for you to eat. You will try and shove your hands in your mouth with your bottle and it never works out. It really takes some effort to work against your strength.

We call you our little monkey because you are constantly making little monkey sounds, even while you are sleeping.

Your dad and I love you so much and we are overcome with gratitude for your arrival in our family. I have said many times that you were worth the wait and I would do everything all over again to have you. You have made us so incredibly happy and I hope you will always know how much we wanted you.

You win the hearts of everyone who meets you. I may be a little biased, but you really are a beautiful baby and even though you're still pretty much still just a lump of baby, you'll already a little charmer.

Payton, thanks for coming into our life and letting us be your parents. I couldn't imagine life without you.

Love,
Mom

The Nursery

2011-09-01T12:50:00.001-06:00

When we found out we would have a baby placed in our family, and not knowing the gender... I decided to go with bright, bold colors so that a little girl or little boy would fit well in this room. I searched and searched the internet and fell in love with the owl prints that I have hanging in the room and decided to have an owl themed nursery. The room is nothing too fancy, but I think it's welcoming and if I have to go in that room all hours of the night, I better like what I look at, ha ha!

Baby Shower

2011-08-31T15:53:00.008-06:00

I have been blessed with an amazing sister in law. I don't even consider Heather my sister in law. She is just my sister. I thank Heavenly Father that my brother married her, because she has become one of my greatest confidants and friends. As soon as there was word that Payton would be joining us, Heather started planning a baby shower... and when Heather does something-- she does it OUT OF THIS WORLD! Seriously. Incredible. She should start a business in event planning/party planning.

The shower was so much fun. I got to see some life long friends, and have them meet our little Payton. He was a hit & everyone fell in love. I am so grateful for all these amazing women in my life who were able to come. Here are a few pictures of the decor and people that were at the shower. My friend Tracey (an amazing photographer) took some pics at the shower as well... thank goodness cause I really didn't take very many!

It was a day to remember, that is for sure.

Hello...

2011-08-27T21:48:00.002-06:00

Hi my name is Payton and I am getting fatter every day. My mom loves it! The end.

First 2 weeks in Pictures

2011-08-20T18:19:00.012-06:00

As you can tell... He was asleep for a good portion of the first two weeks of his life ha ha

Utah Trip 2011

2011-08-17T10:39:00.012-06:00

I am only a little over a month late on this post but better late than never, right? We took our annual trip to Utah to visit the Brown side of the family & some of the Nelson extended family & even managed to see a couple of friends along the way. It was such a great time and we wish we had more than a week and a half to see everyone. It's crazy to think next year we will have a baby to bring with us! Highlights from our trip:

-Visiting Logan & seeing all of Cami's special clients/co-workers she adores!
-Catching up with Zak & Kellee and seeing their new baby girl Kate (Payton's future girlfriend)
-Fireworks/BBQ with Cami's grandparents/aunt &uncles/cousins/Little brother Brett
-running in the mountains
-Brown family reunion up Cedar Mountain in an awesome cabin.
-Cave hiking
-Pedicures with my SIL Beth and my two beautiful nieces
-many, many late nights laughing and just being together as a family.

We loved our time with the family and wish we all lived closer, but it's so nice to know that no matter how far we live from each other, some things never change (:

Complete

2011-08-13T14:30:00.005-06:00

I was texting my Mom today about Payton and how he has been kinda gassy and how we have had to go to the store in the middle of the night for gas drops and different formula and how tired I am. And her response of course was to say how sorry she was... and then it came to me how much I love being this tired. I love being covered in formula and baby spit and not showering til late in the afternoon... I have seriously never been happier. My life feels complete now. Geoff and I always felt a void in our home and Payton was the missing puzzle piece. I think everyday this week I have had a moment where tears were just streaming down my face because I am overcome with love and gratitude for my baby boy. I would go through the pain and agony of the last 4 years again and again to have him. It makes me think about why Heavenly Father gives us certain trials... and now I know with a certainty that this trial was meant to be so that we could be with Payton when all is said and done.

Love

2011-08-10T15:59:00.001-06:00

I just sit and stare at him all the time. I often have to pinch myself that I am actually this angel's Mom. Life is good... He was so worth everything and I would do it over and over again if I had to.

Payton Geoffrey Brown

2011-08-08T09:09:00.008-06:00

If you don't already know by now, Geoff and I have had the most amazing miracle happen in our family. This weekend we adopted the most precious little boy who was born on August 5, 2011, weighing 8 lbs 4 oz and measured 20 inches long. He is perfect and healthy and just a true miracle to us.

So many people have asked the story behind this little guy, so here it goes. Many of you know we were approved for adoption at the beginning of April. We debated for a few weeks whether or not to advertise our profile on this national website called parentprofiles.com due to the expensive price-tag of it all. But after deliberating over it for awhile, we posted our profile on this website and almost immediately we began receiving emails and phone calls from birth-mothers from all over the country. On July 10th, we were contacted by one birth-mom in particular who was from North Texas and stated after much searching she just knew we were the ones she wanted to be her baby's parents. After several days of talking, she officially asked us if we would adopt her baby and we felt an over-whelming feeling that THIS was the baby Heavenly Father intended for us. We told very few people that we had been picked because with adoption, nothing is certain until the papers are signed so that is why this little guy came as such a surprise to so many.

The few weeks we waited for him to come to us were intense. She didn't have a clear due date, so we just had to keep busy and prepare as best as we could for the baby to arrive. On Sunday July 31st, our birth-mom contacted us that she thought she was in labor and she was going to the hospital. After hours and hours, the doctors sent her back home saying it wasn't time yet. They went ahead and scheduled the C-Section for the following Friday (August 5th) and said as long as her amniocentesis came back OK, they would deliver then. That was probably the longest week of our lives. Geoff decided to quit his summer employment early to prepare for the next year of teaching and start getting lesson plans ready. So he kept busy doing that, and I pretty much was a mad woman for the next few days. I felt more anxiety than I had ever felt in my life. I was worried that something would happen that our birth-mom would change her mind. I had already quit my job at my school so that I could be at home with this little guy so I was afraid I did that too soon and yada yada. Geoff suggested so many times that we pray... and I always followed his advise and almost immediately was reassured that all is well.

When August 5th finally rolled around, I could barely sit, stand or think to do anything. I wanted to know everything that was going on, but we decided we would wait to hear from the hospital before we left to Wichita Falls (where the baby would be born) so we would know for sure he was going to come that day. At about 1:30 I had this over-whelming feeling that Geoff and I needed to begin praying. As I began to pray, the distint impression came over me to quit worrying about myself and to pray for our sweet birth-mom and the agony she was going through. I prayed for her to have strength to make the right choice, I prayed for her to feel His love for her. I prayed for her to feel our love for her.

An hour and a half later, we got a phone call from our case worker saying the baby had been born and he was perfect and healthy. We ran around the house like crazy people throwing things in our suitcase and jumping up and down in excitement. We had a six hour drive ahead of us and I swear it felt like it was about double that. The anticipation of meeting our little man was almost too much to handle. We were crying the whole way up and just in such awe of love our Father in Heaven had for us to bless us in such an incredible way.

When we got to the hospital in Wichita Falls, it was around 9 and the hospital had a room all prepared for us. To make it easier on herself, the birth-mom asked to not have contact with us and the baby at all. She decided it was best for her and all who were involved for it to be that way... So the hospital staff let us know that we would be caring for the baby during his stay there.

When the nurse rolled our little guy in, we were both shaking. Meeting him for the first time was the most amazing moment and one I will never, ever forget. I felt pure love wash over me and I just knew with all my heart that I was this sweet little boy's Mother. I scooped him up in my arms, and Geoff and I stood there holding each other and sobbing. All those years of heartbreak, disappointment and grief all made sense in that moment. I knew why I had to go through so much to get to this little guy. I realized JUST how perfect God's plan was for Geoff and I during those quiet first moments with Payton.

We were able to have Payton sleep in our room and we were the ones who fed, changed him and snuggled him his entire stay in the hospital. It was the most incredible experience for us. One that we will never forget. I am so excited to be Payton's Mom. I am more in love with Geoff after seeing him love our little boy so freely and care for him in a way I didn't know was possible.

I am just overwhelmed with gratitude to such a strong birth-mom. I will always love her. She is our angel and I will never be able to repay her for the gift she has given us. All we can do is give Payton the best life we can and to love him always. I am so grateful for such a kind, loving Heavenly Father. We recognize this little miracle was not a coincidence at all and that He was the one who orchestrated these events leading up to Payton's arrival. August 5th is my Dad's birthday and has always been special to me. Now with it being my little boy's birthday, it will now become one of the greatest days of my life.

New Toy

2011-07-27T21:21:00.002-06:00

Geoff and I have been wanting to get a really good SLR camera for ages now, especially before kids come into the picture, so we finally buckled down and got the NikonD5000... and it was money well spent. It takes beautiful pictures! I have lots to learn about it... the user manual is a novel & it has so many functions, but it will be fun to learn all about. Here is our first photo shoot with our 18 month old niece Ellie. How cute is she?

2011-07-21T22:57:00.002-06:00

A good friend of mine shared this quote today and it literally pierced my soul. I truly think she was inspired to share it for my benefit. guess it was just one of those days!

f a i t h is something greater than ourselves that enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired, or hurt, or afraid - to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is uncertain - gordon b. hinckley