Gerrymandering and Bolo Ties

Entry 30: Top 25 Left Wingers Heading into the 2011 Season.

2011-09-06T14:11:00.000-07:00

Left Wing is not a position as well defined as center and right wing for whatever reason. This is true throughout the history of hockey. You might say because left handed people aren't as common as right handed people, however playing either wing is not dependent on your handedness. For example, Bobby Ryan of the Anaheim Ducks is right handed and plays on the left side, so why this is is anyone's answer. But, here is my rendition of the NHL's top 25 Left Wingers going into 2011.

And thusly, it's that time again:

25. James Neal

James Neal was a dynamic, gritty young winger out of Dallas before he was traded to Pittsburgh this past season. With Pittsburgh, his production dried up. However, it's the hope of Penguins fans that with the inevitable return of Sydney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, that he'll compliment one of them well. So here he sits at twenty five.

24. Erik Cole

Montreal signed a well known veteren out of Carolina this summer, and with Cole, they hope to add a 20 goal, gritty, 2 way player to compliment their offensively dismal club. Cole's leadership, scoring ability, and physical presence put him at 24.

23. Alex Tanguay

Tanguay has had some up and down seasons lately, but since returning to Calgary, he's certainly found his form as Iginla's left winger, posting almost 70 points this season. If Calgary can find an answer to put down the middle, it'll be a formidable scoring line. But Alex Tanguay has proven to be a reliable scorer in Calgary.

22. Jeff Hartnell

Hartnell has been a reliable twenty goal scorer for the Flyers playing flexibly on their top 3 lines since being there, and is a strong physical presence. When he's not in the penalty box, Hartnell is generally very reliable for posting timely goals.

21. Ville Leino

During the Flyers cup run 2 years ago, Ville Leino truly found his niche in the NHL, and it carried over through last year putting up 53 points. Leino found his payday with the Sabres this off season, and Sabres fans hope that this Slick Finnish winger can put up similar numbers with them this season.

20. Evander Kane

Tomorrow's a momentous day for Evander Kane's new team up in Winnipeg, Manitoba, as they finally unveil their new jerseys for the season. Kane's entering his third NHL season. and will likely improve on already good numbers on a rather mediocre team. Gritty, young, and passionate, look for a possible breakout year from the former 4th overall pick.
19. Brandon Dubinsky

Dubinsky's also coming off a strong regular season campaign posting 54 points, and as an integral core of the New York Rangers along with Michael Callahan, the Rangers hope to have the stability, along with the firepower(Gaborik/Richards) to win their first division since 1994. Dubinsky's a reliable two way player, and strong on the puck and a fan favorite in New York.
18. Alexandre Burrows

Alexandre Burrows is coming off a rather low regular season for him, but had a strong display in the post season. Burrows put up two consecutive 30 goal seasons before this past year however, and is a really reliable scoring line winger for Vancouver.

17. Taylor Hall

Hall's coming off an impressive 40 point rookie season that was cut short by a season ending injury, expect Hall to be back this season with an improving display. Taylor Hall is a winner, and the attitude should rub off on the Oilers as they mature on the heels a very young, prolific goal scorer.

16. Nikolai Kulemin

Kulemin is coming off his best season ever with Toronto, putting up almost 60 points on the left side of Macarthur and Grabovski, expect an improvement this season, as Toronto now has some chemistry to build off of.

15. James Van Riemsdyk

The Flyers handled the development of former 2nd overall pick, Jeff Van Riemsdyk very well, coming off an impressive playoffs. "JVR", as he's be-lovingly known as, fits the power forward bill that's so hard to come by. Coming off a 20 goal season, expect a stronger display this season.

14. Andrew Ladd

The former 4th overall pick of the Carolina Hurricanes took some time bouncing around teams before finding his home in Atlanta...I mean Winnipeg. Ladd's proven to be quite the leader, and in doing so, posted almost 60 points this season to mark his best season yet. Expect bigger and better things going forward.

13. Patrik Elias

Elias is a fan favorite in New Jersey, and a career Devil being described as the "Statesman". Elias is just coming off a 60 point season himself, and is put at 13 because of his role for his franchise, and the work ethic he puts forward.

12. Simon Gagne

Gagne has had a nagging injury problem that's prohibited him from putting up 40+ goal seasons that he's experienced in the past, but he's still a reliable 2nd line scoring center who's not far removed from posting a 30 goal season, and was very reliable for Tampa's deep playoff run last season. Gagne moves to LA where he hopes to have some chemistry with former linemate Mike Richards.
11. Brenden Morrow

The captain of the stars is coming off a fresh 56 point season, where he showed the same grit and leadership that's expected out of him in Dallas. Morrow is a reliable point producer, a gritty two way player, and a true captain. He's going to have to be even more prevalent this season without Richards in Dallas.

10. Milan Lucic

Milan Lucic is a big, bruising fan favorite of Bean Town who just had his best season thus far potting 60 points, and 30 goals. Lucic is a menacing physical presence who rightly sits at 10 on this list.

9. Thomas Vanek

The best Austrian hockey player in the world had a strong rebound year last year posting nearly at a PPG clip, and being one of the sole goal providers in the Sabres post season run. His contract is a bit steep, but for a team that's offensively starved, Vanek's worth every penny.

8. Michael Cammalleri

Surely Lucic is more physical imposing and better in his own end, and surely Vanek's a more prolific goal scorer. Cammalleri's spot on this list is defined by his timely, and impeccable post season points that he produces. His production the last two post seasons has been over a PPG total in a 28 game sample size. That's more than we can say for the other two. While posting respectable regular season numbers despite having nagging injury concerns.

7. Bobby Ryan

The consolation prize for the Sydney Crosby draft has improved every year since joining the league, putting up nearly a PPG this most season, and putting up 4 points in 4 games in the post season. The left winger on perhaps the best line in the NHL of Getzlaf and Perry, Ryan is the lowest of the three on their respective lists, but he's also the youngest, expect an even better season from Ryan this season which'll likely see him rise.

6. Patrick Marleau

Marleau experienced a lot of criticism in the post season this year for not being a big time player, disappearing in the entire round against Detroit. Marleau put up over a PPG 2 years ago, and almost a PPG this past season. Marleau is a dominant regular season player, and if it translated to the post season, you'd see him higher.
5. Zach Parise

Parise would also possibly be higher had he played more than 13 games this past season, the two seasons prior two, he finished over a PPG, and in addition to that, is a good two way player, and is the heart and soul of the New Jersey Devils. Devils hope he's 100% ready to go, because without him, the playoffs are unlikely.

4. Ilya Kovalchuk

Kovalchuk could also be higher if he didn't have such a slumping season last year...By his standards. He a strong second half, but still finished below a PPG pace, which is unusual for the offensive dynamo. However, if the second half of the season is any indication, this should be a bounce back year for Kovie.

3. Rick Nash

Nash has finished under a PPG pace the last two seasons, but the reason he's higher than Kovalchuk, Parise, and Marleau is because Nash has been on his own in Columbus. He has very little offensive support, and is the heart and soul for this franchise. He does it all, defensive play, offensive generation, and leadership. Nash is perfect for spot 3.
2. Daniel Sedin

Daniel Sedin has finished at least at a PPG place for the last 3 straight years, putting up 104 points in 82 games this past season. He made the first team All Star team, and won the Ted Lindsay and Art Ross trophies. The problem is. Sedin is rather one dimensional and receives criticism of only being able to produce with Henrik. However, I see him as the indisputable number 2 best left wing in the NHL, at the moment.
1. Alexander Ovechkin

Let's put it this way, Alexander the Great had a down season this year....A down season for the most prolific goal scorer in the NHL still involved over a PPG pace. Ovechkin is the heart, the soul, the leader of this team. Ovechkin hits like a freight train, and has become more responsible in his own end. Expect a rebound year from Ovechkin.

Entry 29: Superman

2011-09-02T21:11:00.000-07:00

People who read comic books read them for a plethora of reasons. They read comics because they love page long fisticuffs where an entire city, planet, or perhaps more lay in the balance. Maybe they read comics because they like the brilliant visualizations. But I think that most life long comic book fans read comics because they like relating to a character or a story. A lot of people relate to Peter Parker, aka the Amazing Spiderman. A lot of readers like reading about bad asses like Wolverine, Punisher, Venom, and Batman. But today's blog is about someone who receives a lot of criticism from modern American readers. A character I've admired since I was five years old. Today's entry is about the Man of Steel and the Man of Tomorrow. Superman.

The reasoning behind the disliking of Superman usually falls under the same categories: He's boring; he's too powerful; He's not relatable; he's too much of a boyscout. Etc. Etc. Etc. But frankly, readers are missing the point. And I think the disliking of Superman in the modern era is much more of a commentary on modern day America than it is on the character himself. It's a little sad that kids grow up idolizing nihilistic, selfish, and fake role models when they could be idolizing a selfless man who does nothing less than to try to do the right thing and nothing but the right thing. Superman is a character with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. The character can fly, move at remarkable speeds, has unyielding strength, is as indestructible as they come, has heat ray vision, x-ray vision, super hearing, and can freeze things with his breath. Superman can do a lot of things. However, despite having all of those powers he doesn't use them to harm people. Superman can easily take over the entire planet if he wanted to, but he doesn't. It's really interesting, from an early age Bruce Wayne aka Batman was taught the worst humanity had to offer, but with Superman it was different. The last son of Krypton was raised by loving adoptive parents in Smallville, and Superman was raised with the complete opposite. He learned of the good in people. And that's what separates Superman from genuinely every other hero. He constantly looks for the good in everyone. And that's something most of us do. People are so hesitant to trust others, and are quick to think of other people as someone who's selfish and with no regard for others. And you know what? Maybe people aren't wrong for doing so, but Kal-El never loses faith in the people of his adopted home world. Superman wrestles with an unbelievable burdon night in and night out of saving 7 billion people a day for no reward and for no gain. Superman doesn't get a thing for this. He's just a modest farm boy, who tries to do the right thing. He always tries to do the right thing.

People talk about Superman being cocky perhaps? I hardly think so. As Clark Kent, the woman he loves is more in love with the man with the red cape, and his boss is a real hard ass. In fact, the only people who seem to actually understand him are his very own parents. Clark can have anything in the world he wants, but he struggles with keeping everyone away so he doesn't hurt them. He lives a modest life as journalist exposing Lex Luthor in the papers, while foiling him in a bright iconic costume that brings hope to an entire planet of people. The story about Superman is not about a God protecting the Earth from giant threats who are more powerful than him. The story of Superman is about a man that we should all aspire to be like. A selfless, modest, man who never strays from the line. I understand people have a hard time relating to reading about a man who can do anything, but is struggling to find his place in the world, but that's not the point. Superman is someone we should all aspire to be like. Because even though we fool ourselves into believing that we have limitations in life, all we really need to do is reach for the skies and believe.

Fax About Me #IV: Summer Songs

2011-08-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

As this Summer comes to a close, I realize that it has been the most eventful Summer I have ever had. In Past Summers, I find myself sitting around my house until I turn to mush. I did not do that this Summer. Instead I was out either working or gallivanting on one of many adventures with my friends. My friends are what kept me sane as my personal life started to crumble a little. Even though emotionally I was bending, I did not break. Because of this, I was able to keep a smile on my face.

What I noticed with this Summer, along with every other Summer, is that there were songs that defined the times I had. I strongly associate the Summer of 2006 with songs such as "Hair" by the Early November and bands such as Panic! at the Disco. The Summer of 2009 was defined by the song "Oscar Wilde" by Company of Thieves and bands like Motion City Soundtrack. So how could I not put my most eventful Summer into song? This is a list of the five songs that have defined this Summer.

5) Set Guitars to Kill - And So I Watch You From Afar (Late August)

So I just heard this song last week and I am completely hooked on this band. I am completely digging Post-Rock, especially when it gets a little harder like this. I have listened to this cd about 3 times in the past week. It is so good!

4) The Wrong Way - Bayside (June)

Both Incubus and Bayside, my two favorite bands, released CDs this Summer and they were both great. The song that stuck with me from Bayside's new album was called "The Wrong Way." It is not just for the great lyrics that all Bayside songs have, but the crazy guitar solo that I feel no one sees coming.

3) Promises, Promises - Incubus (July)

I am glad to say that a lot of my co-workers also love the band Incubus. They may not be as crazy as me about them, but still they love them. With that being said, there is no surprise that we listened to songs from this cd over and over again at work. I'm pretty sure the girls weren't as happy with it as we were.

2) I Got - Young the Giant (Beginning of July)

There was a moment in this Summer where I just sung this song over and over. The funny thing is, all the words I knew at the time were "I Got." This happened after me and a few friends saw Young the Giant at a free show in Philly. Luckily for the mediocre bands that opened for them, Young the Giant put on a spectacular show. I will be looking forward to seeing them open for my favorite band Incubus on September 10th.

1) Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO (Late July - Present)

I work at a day camp, and every time we had a chance to dance we would blast this song and go crazy dancing. Once work ended, I went to Delaware for a week and we just listened to LMFAO non-stop. Yes, all their songs are the same chord progression, but they are worth a shot because you might just get crazy. I learned the basic moves of the dance, so if you want to see me move, you know what song to play.

Entry 28: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers

2011-08-01T23:38:00.000-07:00

Finally after 10,000 years I am free! And it's time to conquer Earth!

The immortal words that Rita Repulsa spewed as she entered our hearts as the vile immortal nemesis of 5 teenagers with attitude back in 1993! Of course, I speak of: The Power Rangers! When the world is under attack from Rita Repulsa and her fiendish monsters, who better to defend us all, than the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers!

The Power Rangers were a group of teenagers from Angel Grove, California who were granted with amazing powers channeled through their mechanical zords, who fought the good fight every day against some fiendish ghouls whipped up on the moon by Rita. Yeah.

Anyway, today's entry is about the original 5(6) Rangers of season one, the only good season, of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Series, and what better to get this blog kickin' than with this!

(I would have used an actual introduction, like from the show, but none of the ones I found could be embedded...Wut?)

Anyway, before we get to all the fun puttie-kicking goodness, let's just discuss a few....FUN FACTS!

EFF YEAH CLIP ART!

-The Power Rangers were based off the Super Sentai series, which was in it's 16th season at the time, and borrowed it's costumes, giant robots, villains, and quite a bit of it's footage too.

- Austin St. John and Jason Frank (The original Red and Green Rangers) were the only adept Martial Artists on the show.

-Thuy Trang, the original Yellow Ranger, died in a car accident in 2001.

-Yeah, Power Rangers is pretty stereotypical in the first season, for sure.

-That's about it, now let's get to the commentary.

Okay, so if you remember anything about the three seasons of the original series, it's that their zords changed in all three seasons. The reason for that is because of the fact that the Super Sentai Series changes every year with different "rangers" and different "zords." Hence why there's a new Power Ranger series every year since MMPR's popularity waned. But because the original Power Rangers were so popular in this country, they kept the same rangers and costumes, and just changed the robots and stuff. In fact, the White Ranger was created strictly for the American version of the show.

Anyway, let's re-introduce the cast, shall we? IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!

Billy, Trini, Tommy, Jason, Kimberly, and Zach...

Everyone had a favorite ranger. Mine was the cliche'....The Red Ranger. I mean, red has always been my favorite color, so that's what inspired the five year old in me, but I always liked the alphas as a kid too....(Not this Alpha)

Alpha 5

But when I watch Power Rangers today, I look beyond all the plot holes, and bad acting, and bad dubbing in some cases, and I see some rad 90's teenagers who stick it to Rita Repulsa. Is there anything wrong with that? Beside, the Megazord was pretty Bad Ass.

And so was the Dragon Zord:

And so was the way the Green Ranger called the Dragon Zord.

He played a dagger like a flute, without having visible flips to put on said flute.... Choice.

Power Rangers were your marquee 90's kid show, I mean they had awesome action, and in between battles, encouraged kids to go out and do stuff. Like all 90's shows did. But instead, because it was so awesome, kids didn't go out and exercise and just stayed in and got fat. And that's how we got to where we are today. In other words, my hypothesis is that the Power Rangers were so cool that they're why a generation of people are obese. Yeah.

Anyway, I hoped you liked this blog, and found it :Morphinomenal" than any of my others.

Until next time, MORPHIN' OUT! (It's a GIF, click it...)

Entry 27: Top 25 Centers Heading into the 2011-2012 Season

2011-07-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

I decided to dedicate this entry to the top 25 centers going into the league next season. I have a lot of ideas for blogs that I have been meaning to write and am planning to write. The Power Rangers one is about half way done, A Face in the Macabre Part II, Top 25 for the other positions of the NHL, Season Predictions, and an Entry on the new Thunder Cats cartoon. The ideas are all there, it's just having the time to write them. Anyway, today is a:

I looked for the most generic picture of Hockey I could possibly find. Anyway, here's the list, counting down:

HM's: Roy, Plekanec, Riberio, Briere, Zajac, and Pavelski.
Briere missed the list because I'm not sure how he'll peform as a center the entire season, Riberio missed the list because he's TOO one dimensional, Zajac, Plekanec, and Roy were all very close.

25: David Krejci:
It's hard to pinpoint the players around here, because from like 20-30 are all pretty close, but Krecji is well deserving of his spot as 25, he was crucial to the Bruins post season run going nearly a PPG, posting almost at a PPG pace during the regular season, being a very good +/- player, being a strong physical presence, and a good defensive center. Well deserving of this spot.

24. Paul Statsny:
I find that the legendary Peter Statsny's son goes underrated around the NHL, true he got an all star game nod, but the guy goes silently about his business while racking up really impressive numbers. Statsny's a responsible two way player, who puts up respectable numbers, who have declined slightly because of playing on such an atrocious Avalanche team, and playing behind Matt Duchene.

23. Jason Spezza:
With the fall of the Senators, this rather decorated center has falling out of the lime light. He's overpaid, he's becoming more injury prone, and his defense has a poor reputation. However, Spezza still posts almost at a PPG clip, his defense has improved significantly, and all this on a very bad Senators team. He's well deserving of this spot.

22. Matt Duchene:
The other center of the Aves' 1-2 punch has been very solid the last two seasons, last season finishing well above the rest of his teammates. He plays a good two way game, he's not Joe Sakic, but he's as close they'll get.

21. John Tavares:
Tavares is the Islanders. Plain and simple. He's practically their entire offense, and performs admirably for being such a young player. Tavares numbers will increase greatly with more offensive support.

Carter's on the left

20. Jeff Carter:
Carter's an offensively prolific player, being something in the top 5 in goals scored in the last few seasons. He now has an opportunity to play with one of the beloved, and underrated wingers(how is that possible?) in the game, Rick Nash. Both players are natural goalscorers, so chemistry is already being called into question, but the duo is highly anticipated.

19. Vincent Lecavalier:
Vinny had a bit of a renaissance this season, as his numbers improved and he wasn't as injury prone. Leacavlier's numbers dipped in recent seasons due to chronic wrist ailments and such, but he seems to finally be returning to form.

18. Patrice Bergeron:
Who some people call the true captain of the Bruins, Bergeron is a darn good two way center, one of the best of the game, and was absolutely amazing in the playoffs this season. He's a consistent point producer, and always has a very good +/-. If Tim Thomas wasn't as amazing as he was, Bergeron would have been highly considered for the Conn Smythe this year.

17. Mike Richards:
The former Flyers Captain plots down around number 17, (Carter's old number ironically), where he'll likely anchor the second line in Los Angeles this year. Richards is a perennial top 5 defensive forward in the league, who also is pretty consistent for about 25-30 goals a season.

16. Mikko Koivu:
The captain of the Wild is generally pretty underrated, as the Wild really haven't made much noise lately. He's a good Number 1 center who is almost always about at a PPG clip, and plays a generally solid two way game.

15. Claude Giroux:
A lot of pressure is being placed on Giroux this season as he is expected to anchor Philadelphia's first line. But in the past season, Giroux had a really impressive season, performing almost at a PPG pace, playing strong on both sides of the ice, and being a good Special Teams performer. It'll be a showing season for Giroux.

14. Brad Richards:
The crown jewel of the Free Agency market, Brad Richards finds himself on Broadway this season, the former Conn Smythe winner just finished a stint in Dallas, and generally performs over a PPG clip. He has a booming shot, and can be used as a Power Play Quarterback, Richards should perform very well in New York this season.

13. Nicklas Backstrom:
Backstrom is considered one of the premier play makers in the NHL, however he had a slumping season last year, and generally, people attest his impressive point production to Alex Ovechkin, his Superstar linemate. But regardless, Backstrom should have a bounce back year and return to more familiar numbers.

12. Ryan Kesler:
I almost had Kesler at Number 11, but the reason I could not bring myself to do it was because of the fact that he plays behind the Sedins. He generally plays against less fierce talent as they do, and thusly has more inflated numbers. However, even with that stated, Kesler is a premier two way forward, who was on a Conn Smythe quest, and won a Selke this season. I wouldn't be surprised if his stock improves over the next season or two.

11. Anze Kopitar:
Kopitar really exploded in production in the last two years, and has been probably the most prolific offensive player the Kings have seen since Palffy, or maybe even Robataille. Kopitar is a good two way player, and the best Slovenian hockey player in the world....(And it's not even close.) He and Richards promise to be a menacing 1-2 Punch this season.

10. Joe Thornton:
7-10 Were particularly hard to rank, but the reason why Thornton is 10 and not 7, is because he simply isn't clutch in the playoffs. This was by far his best post season to date, but the fact is, he still can't lift his Sharks into the finals. Thornton is a prolific scorer, top 5 since the lock out, but he's simply not clutch. There's a reason why he's called the Tin Man.

9. Eric Staal:
Staal has truly become the face of the Hurricanes taking the mantle from Brind'amour and before him, Francis. He's already got a Stanley Cup ring to his collection, and is one of the most well respected players in the league, while posting at a PPG, or almost at a PPG pace, for the last few seasons.

8. Jonathan Toews:
The most overrated Hockey player in the game today, bar none. Toews was ranked the third best player in the game in last year's The Hockey News magazine, and in Puck Daddy's recent top 25 center's ranking, which inspired this one, he was ranked third there too. I love Toews, he reminds me of Yzerman-lite, but the fact is, the man hasn't reached the PPG mark, nor has he scored more than 40 goals. Instead, his ranking comes from his intangibles, hence being called "Captain Intangibles." I think Toews is one of the best young leaders in the NHL, playing Selke caliber hockey, and already has a Conn Smythe to his name (and this is why he's ahead of Thornton and Staal, because he actually is very clutch), but he's very overrated.

7. Henrik Zetterberg:
Pavel Datsyuk was injured for most of the regular season last year, causing future Red Wings captain, Zetterberg to put the team on his oft-injured back. The result was finishing 3rd in the conference, and finishing at a PPG clip. Zetterberg isn't as graceful as he used to be, but he backchecks doggedly, is considered the most clutch player in the league, second only to maybe Daniel Briere, and would have several Selke's to his name if it weren't for Pavel Datsyuk, and already has a Conn Smythe to his name.

6. Ryan Getzlaf:
Getzlaf is a nasty player, puts up over a PPG pace, consistent +/- player, good on the PK and PP, and is the face of the Anaheim Ducks franchise. Getzlaf is a damn good hockey player, and he's the perfect center for the best line in the game right now.

5. Henrik Sedin:
How ironic that I put Jumbo Joe at number 10 for his lack of playoff performance, but am putting Sedin at number 5 for his. The difference is, when Sedin's brother Daniel was injured in the 2010 season, he put the team on his back and earned the Hart and Art Ross trophies without him, silencing the critics that the Sedin Twins couldn't perform alone. And unlike Thornton, he puts up better numbers, and has actually made the finals, coming one game away from winning the cup. Sedin is well deserving of his spot.

4. Steven Stamkos:
Stamkos has had two very strong seasons, but the reason he's being put at 4 and not 3, when 3 has more reason to be lower on the list is because of two reasons: For being as a big of Stamkos fan as I am, I feel like his production is greatly inflated by perhaps the best pure play maker in the game, St. Louis. AND, because his production seriously tapered off in the last half of the season last year. Stamkos has a lot of growing to do, but within three years has proven that he's a top 5 player in the game, and almost helped his Lightning from being one game away from the Stanley Cup finals last year.

3. Evgeni Malkin:
Malkin's only had one season where he finished below the PPG mark, and that was last year, and that was because of a lingering injury. That said, Malkin only played 43 games last year. But, without having a "what have you done for me lately" mentality, no one takes over a game like Evgeni Malkin does, as evidenced by his playoff perfomance in 2009, Malkin should return to the 11/12 season back to form, and proving why he's a top 3 center in the league.

2. Pavel Datsyuk:
Pavel Datsyuk is the most well rounded player in the world. Datsyuk was a monster in last year's post season, single handedly man handling the Phoenix Coyotes, making them look like CHL players. Datsyuk would have probably won his 4th consecutive Selke Trophy last season if it weren't for his wrist injury that caused him to miss 26 games last year. Fact is, Datsyuk is good for PPG production, while being the best defensive forward in the game leading the league in take aways and having an impressive +/-, while being probably the best deker in the league, bar none.

1. Sidney Crosby:
Crosby went down early last season to nagging concussions, but before that? Crosby was on a pace that had been unseen in years, putting up 66 points in 41 games. Crosby was on a tear, and poised to take home the Art Ross, the Hart, and the Richard trophies. Crosby is truly the undisputed best player in the world, already having two finals appearances, a Stanley Cup, a bunch of hardware, and improving on all aspects of the game.

Entry 26: Random Acts of Kindness

2011-07-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

Today's thrilling entry of blogometry pertains to the enticing subject of random acts of kindness. Now I know I said I'd write about Power Rangers or continue my thrilling, but prolly poorly written story(So like most thrillers), but today's entry is based off a personal experience that happened to me recently. And since no one actually reads my blogs for the content, I'm just going to do what I feel like.

The story goes like this: I'm running an errand for my brother by picking up groceries at the local Giant grocery market, and as I walk to my vehicle, I notice an older woman, probably mid to late 30's putting away her luggage. I wasn't particularly the most jubilant of people around this time for one reason or another, but I saw she had a plethora, that is to say heaps of groceries to put away. So despite my not really wanting to, I extended my good intentions into helping her put them away, maybe shaving a little time off of her trip to the grocery market. She, as I should have probably expected, turned me down, but the noteworthy thing, and the point of this entry is that she was surprised and almost alarmed by my offer. And that leads to the topic of the blog. Are random acts of kindness really that unusual and unprecedented? Now, I'm sure the more critical reader would wonder why someone who wasn't in a good mood would extend such a charitable offer. Well, simply put, this supposed selflessness came on the merit of karma. That is to say, I felt like I needed a little more favoring from the cosmic scale of good and evil, not that I necessarily believe in such a thing, but it was the notion that crossed my inner brow at the time. Anyway, sociologically speaking, is it truly that peculiar for one person to do unto others as you would have them do unto you? I know I'd want someone to help me with my groceries if I were having a rough day, and I can only assume I didn't appear to be a miscreant. Our American society has been molded on core "Christian" beliefs, beliefs that are supposed to derive from the Bible. A book that puts magnificent stress on the principle of kindness, from Luke 6:35, "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back." Now I'm not a religious man, not even close, but with a society that was forged on such principled good intentions, why is it that in this day and age, random acts of kindness are so seemingly unprecedented. I mean, in hindsight, I'm not actually that surprised that she was so surprised by my magnanimous offer, and I suppose I don't have a proposed resolution to this rhetoric, or a point really, rather merely an observation of our culture. With everything stated, in southern U.S states and European countries, if you enter a store, hospitality and politeness are the first things extended to the consumer, but in our North Eastern culture, it's much more independent and such. Could that perhaps be a reflection of the culture in which I write of? I'm not proposing one is better than the other, and I'm not writing of what is right and wrong. I'm merely penning my observations on to this blog. In any case, that's something for you readers to mull over and think about. This isn't a call to arms, nor a farewell to arms(Hemingway jokes are really funny), but merely a question of random acts of kindness.

Entry 25: Thor and Green Lantern.

2011-07-12T17:30:00.000-07:00

Hey readers, how are we doing today? I'm back in sunny PA, and I actually mean that sort of literally, because it rained an awful lot in Boston, and I'm here to weigh in my opinion...

on some serious business. And when I say serious business, I mean SERIOUS BUSINESS. We're talking film adaptations of comic book characters. So let's crack our knuckles,

and get right down to business.

Firstly, let's discuss Thor.

Except he looks a little more like this in the movie:

Okay, just to provide a little back story on the character, he's obviously based on the Norse mythologies, the character was created by the great Stan Lee, and the late great, Jack "The King" Kirby. Thor is essentially Marvel's answer to Superman, in that he's capable of many great supernatural abilities, mostly thanks to his god-like superhuman abilities, and mjolnir. His magical hammer which grants him flight, weather manipulation, and other great abilities. Thor has a pretty fleshed out universe, with his primary nemesis being the prankster Loki, but has other great villains such as the Asgardian Destroyer, Enchantress, and the Wrecking Crew. Thor has also been a staple of the Avengers since their very inception.

Okay, so discussing the movie now.

So. In my opinion, Thor is actually kind of a dull character. Like. He's a little bland at times, but the writers and staff of this film certainly drew everything they could from the character, and Chris Hemsworth's performance was very good and very convincing and very heroic. Keneth Branagh was a very interesting director for this film, considering his background is very Shakespearean in repertoire, and chose to direct a film about a god amongst men. Tom Hiddleston and Anthony Hopkins were great supporting characters as well, with Hiddleston being a very good and convincing Loki. Natalie Portman(My well established celebrity crush) was absolutely breath taking during this movie. I needed a personal respirator just to get me through her very strong performance as astro-physicist Jane Foster. Her performance was very convincing, and the love story between her and Chris Hemsworth was the drive of the film. A good love story is usually the drive for most good action films....(Unless you're watching like the Terminator or something). Anyway, I know this is a very late review, but I strongly endorse Thor for any viewer who hasn't seen it yet.

Moving on, Green Lantern.

I think this is the third blog that's had the Green Lantern brought up? Because of this, I won't go into the backstory, I'll just get right to the review. If you really feel the need to research his backstory, just check back like 3-5 entries or so. Anyway. Green Lantern!

If you read anything about the film, it was critically universally panned. After watching the film, I can tell you it was basically just average. Like, the script was cheesy, the editing was subpar, and "Parallax" looked atrociously bad. But the special effects were OKAY, Ryan Reynolds was enjoyable, and if they didn't try to put so much into an hour and a half film, it could have been better. Unlike Thor, the love story is quite possibly the most crippling element to it. It was just very, very uninteresting and cheesy. Like I said, a strong love story has to be the center of your action film. It grounds it. The Green Lantern is a fantastic epic, and to ground such an unreal concept, you need a gripping love story, and the Green Lantern certainly took a swing at it, and missed. But Ryan Reynolds performance made the film OKAY.

Anyway, That's it for this entry. Next time I'll write about either Power Rangers or write the second installment of "The Face in the Macabre." Also, read Caleb's article about turning twenty-one. It's really good.

Cheers!

Fax About Me #III: Turning 21

2011-07-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

Instead of telling everyone about how my 21st birthday went, I decided to write a blog about it from beginning to now. The night itself felt like it flew by as if it only lasted a couple minutes. I hope I can remember enough of it to tell you all about it.

Being Responsible

On the day of my birthday, I had to work at 7:30 in the morning until 2:30 in the afternoon. So there was no way I was going to go out the night before. I had waited 21 years, I could wait another couple of hours. By the time 11 pm rolled around I was beat, but I had to stay up to see the first Facebook notifications I would get at Midnight. At around 12:15 I clocked out so I could clock into work in the morning. I work at day camp, where every day is a different theme. The theme on my birthday ended up being one of my favorite things in the world: the Muppets. I helped plan said day and it was a huge success!! I was Kermit, of course, and like all main characters, I had kids trying to pull off my costume. After the work day was over, I had to go home and wash all the green dye out of my hair. Then all I did was wait. I waited and waited until I left at 8:30.

Being Less Responsible

I got there early because I was excited, Devin and Kevin did not. While we waited for Kevin who was tied up at the moment, Devin gave me my first legal drink. The Culprit? A Mongolian Mother. I learned that a Mongolian Mother had 7 different types of alcohol in it (including a vodka that is the second most potent vodka in the world) and is equal to about 4 beers. Well, I had two along with a Swedish fish and Big Red. When Kevin showed up, I was already feeling it. So what did Kevin do? He ordered me a soco with a jager bomb. We said our goodbyes to Devin and moved from Starters to Mcgrady's. As I walked in, I remember the bouncer saying something like "Happy Birthday, don't puke on my floor!"

This is where the story gets a little more fuzzy. I met a table of people sitting with Matty that probably hated how obnoxious I was by the end of the night. I then had a beer and two Alabama Slammas. Kevin brought a girl over to give me a kiss on the cheek for my birthday. When she said "It's your 21st?" I said "Yeah" and whipped out my ID, that I dropped straight into a pitcher of beer. It was almost as if I tried to do it. But to get back on track, the people I met were Nikki, Jenna, Matta, John, James, Jake, Jeff, Val, Brian and Norv. I am so good at remembering names! I remember that I kept hitting the table and John kept yelling at me for it. I said "Sorry" like I did about a million times that night. I do not know how it happened, but one of the times that I hit the table, I hit over two beers which dumped on Nikki's phone. By this time, I was totally "that guy" and I felt like everyone hated me. But at the same time, I feel like everyone understood. The waitress came up and asked me about some guy that didn't pay, I don't know how I knew who it was...but I figured out that it was Jeff. Me being me, I searched the place up and down for him but could not find him.
Norv looked like the Bassist from Protest the Hero

I remember leaving, but I do not remember why we had to leave. I would have liked to stay longer. We stopped at Taco bell and I got 3 tacos which I probably got all over Kevin's car. After that we went to Jake's place and hung out. James and Jake played Magic with Molly and Val, while Kevin and I just hung out. It was an anticlimactic end to a good night, but it is what it is. Now that I a retelling the story, I am actually amazed at how much I do not remember. This is because when I woke up, I felt like I remember every detail of the night.

The Morning After

I woke up with a really dry mouth and a little bit of an upset stomach. However, once I got in Kevin's car I felt bright eyed and bushy tailed. I was amazed at how perfectly fine I really felt. When I got home I took a look at myself in the mirror and there was just something different about me. Normally when people ask "Happy Birthday, feel any older?" I respond with a "No, not really." This time was different. This time, I'm not a kid anymore.

Entry 24: A Face In The Macabre: Part 1.

2011-07-05T13:24:00.000-07:00

It was a quarter til three. The darkness of the unknown had engulfed my slumber time nest. I couldn't see anything neither here nor there, but as my head rested gently on my fool proof pillow, the shadows on the wall danced. I dare not mutter a word and interrupt their cadaverous ballet. I dare not stare and vindicate their somber profession. The only light and colors I see are the flashing brilliance of the phosphenes within my own eyelids. The room, so silent that the only sound I can hear is the benign breathing of my own lungs, inhaling and exhaling to no particular rhythm. No apparent smell, nor extraordinary feeling nor taste. Just the gentle nodding off of a man with his meandering thoughts, sound of mind, preparing for another evening of a gentle sleep, caressed by the sound of nothingness. At least, that'd be the usual repertoire of my evening in bed. Tonight, however, the apparent gentle atmosphere of my personal propinquity has been amiss on this gentle July evening. For a vagrant presence has made itself known within the sanctity of my room. As I lie motionless, my peace of mind has been contravened. Despite the fact that my basic senses, all functioning as well as can be expected, aren't detecting any sort of intrusion, my intuition and would be "sixth sense" sounds off a blaring internal signal, forbidding me from truly nodding off into the good night. I feel as if I'm being watched as I lay, and I dare not move, nor dare I make a peep less I run the risk of being ambushed by the arcane assailant. I dare not open my eyes, less I make a rendezvous with destiny. A most inopportune rendezvous. So I lie, and I listen, and I wait. But I find myself focused on my impending doom, my unquestioned peril, and my catastrophic calamity, for in my wildest thoughts I somehow reason with myself, that for if I let my thoughts stray, I will experience an unrelenting onslaught of hellish fury unprecedented and unparalleled. This is the second straight night of my firm conviction, and the previous evening was no different. I lied in still silence until dawn until the feeling subsided, and I was able to look into my dimly lit room to acknowledge how safe it actually was. However, the jeopardy that my life was in, and the anxiety that my state of mind was experiencing wouldn't allow me to fall to sleep that quickly, and I had school to attend soon, certainly I hadn't done anything to warrant this influx of psychological unrest. Truly there was no question of my impending doom. But as I lie here, as I had the night before, the gentle chill of what is otherwise unknown races up my spine as fast as the beads of sweat roll down my temples. I've never experienced such exhaust in my life time. Hours have gone by since my bed sheets had first been clenched by my nerve wrecked grasp. And finally, an overwhelming feeling of relief fills the room as birds begin to sing outside. I hear my mother on the main floor of my humble abode preparing for the day. I realize that the evening from hell was over, and I had survived another night. My hands relax, and my heart impedes. I sit up slowly to look around my room, to acknowledge my safe whereabouts noticing not a thing different. But as I lie back down, a chill arouses the hair on my arms once more. I stare upon my plain ceiling to notice something I hadn't before. The smallest, most insignificant writing had appeared on my inner chamber's ceiling. The writing was small, and would otherwise be unnoticeable, but the message itself was haunting, and validated my grievous of fears. It affirmed that things do go boom in the night, and that my morose suspicions were not only fact, but life threatening as well. As I felt my heart accelerate once more, and perspiration dampen my forehead, I can only lie and wonder, "Am I still alone?"

Entry 23: Ukulele Covers

2011-06-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was actually working on another blog that I'm saving for the next entry now about the Green Lantern and Thor movies. I decided to postpone that to post an entry featuring covers of some of my favorite songs on the Ukulele...It's a bit of a hobby of mine. That is, I enjoy looking up amateur covers of artists I enjoy, but by people who aren't professional and that happen to play the Ukulele. So. Let's get started shall we?

Okay, so this cover is of one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists. This cover literally left me breathless. It's so beautiful. Like. How even? Maybe you can watch and decide if you agree with me or not.

Ben Folds - The Luckiest.

Okay, this is a song from one of my favorite albums. This is actually a really good cover of a good Andrew Bird song. Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left.

This is probably one of my favorite covers I've stumbled upon. This is the only video that she's done, at least as far as I can see, but it's really fantastic. I don't know what to say to describe the quality of all these covers I'm posting that's not overly repetitive, but I just wanted an excuse to post some of these. It's Young The Giant's Cough Syrup.

Okay, this next one is really charming, it's a cute girl, with a Joker poster in the background no less, with a cute accent doing a Neutral Milk Hotel cover. Does it get any better than that? I don't think so. It's just SO charming. In The Aeroplane Over The Sea.

So, this next Ukulele cover isn't like the best cover I've ever heard, but something about it is really relaxing. It's surprisingly really difficult to find great Streetlight Manifesto Ukulele covers. Surprisingly. Anyway, this is a really good Ukulele player. Doing one of my all time favorite songs, Somewhere in the Between.

This song has always had a really personal meaning for me, and this cover is very endearing. It's a very lovely cover. Que Sera Sera by Doris Day.

A cover from one of my favorite movies, Dooley Wilson's As Time Goes By from Casablanca. This is a really good cover. It's really relaxing, and it get's really into it.

Okay, to conclude this Ukulele cover blog, this is a great song by one of my favorite bands, Los Campesinos, The Sea is a Good Place to think of the Future. A great cover, maybe it's the accent? She stumbles in the middle and all you can do is smile, yano?

Anyway that's all I wanted to post today. Not really a real set of writing, but maybe some of you readers will look for some ukulele covers yourselves, because there's a lot of people who are really talented out there on the interwebs. Anyway. The next blog should be up in a few days.

<3<3<3<3<3

Entry 22: Hockey Blog

2011-06-23T20:35:00.000-07:00

Hey all, Phil here, to distinguish from me and the others, I've decided to write in a different font...Anyway...

Okay, So I’m actually writing this blog from Boston. I’m planning on keeping this entry relatively short, it’s that the NHL entry draft is tomorrow, and I’d like to write a blog on it before it happens. So it won’t detract from my vacation. Furthermore, writing is a good way for me to keep my mind off things and stuff. Anyway, tomorrow is the annual NHL Entry Draft, this year located in Minnesota, and in the midst of the encroaching draft, many things have transpired in the world of hockey. The NHL Awards in Las Vegas occurred as well, and a few surprises popped up, so in other words. This blog is about hockey. I have a few other things I’d like to write about for this entry, but I’ll save them for another entry.

Let’s discuss the NHL Awards, shall we? First and foremost, the most deserving goaltender was awarded the Vezina Trophy for goaltender of the year, Tim Thomas. Stanley Cup Winning, Conn Smythe receiving Tim Thomas. Posting the best Goals Against Average in a season since Dominik Hasek in 1998. Timmy Thomas. No surprise there. Thomas was the best goalie in the world this year. Nick Lidstrom, Mr. Perfect won his 7th. Count them, 7th Norris Trophy. (Best defenseman of the season). Tying Doug Harvey, and sitting one behind Bobby Orr. I’m sure you readers are wondering if he could perhaps top that mystical number, but the fact is, he probably won’t. The man is 41.…And sure he won one as a 41 year old, the fact is, he’s starting to wear down. He’s been playing less minutes, and he finished his first season in history as a minus player. In fact, most hockey fans speculate this Norris was won on reputation(I disagree). This actually raises another question all together here, where does Lidstrom rank on the all time “Greatest Defensemen” list. Bobby Orr is firmly locked in at number 1, the man revolutionized the position, and in addition to his 8 Norris Trophies, he won an Art Ross Trophy(Leading the league in points, incredible considering he was a defenseman), and 3 consecutive Hart Trophies(Trophy awarded for the player who’s essentially most valuable to his team in the league, perhaps the most prestigious individual trophy one can win.) Orr is untouchable at the moment, in the same way Gretzky is. However, who’s number 2? You could make a case for the late great Doug Harvey, who also revolutionized the game while playing for the Canadiens throughout the 40’s introducing the notion that a defenseman could contribute to the score sheet. The previously mentioned Nick Lidstrom. Eddie Shore, the grittiest defensemen of the 1930’s who hit like a freight train. And Ray Bourque. The beloved. Ray Bourque, who was the cornerstone of the Bruins franchise for 20 years. (Incidentally, 3 of the 4 defensemen are Bruins.) These are the four defensemen that essentially fill out the 2-5 positions on the top 5 defensemen list of all time, interchangeably.(HM to Dennis Potvin.) Moving on from that discussion…..Dan Bylsma, the Penguins coach, brought home the Jack Adams coach for best coach, little dispute there. Daniel Sedin brought home the Art Ross, naturally. Corey Perry brought home the Rocket Richard trophy for most goals in a season. Roberto Luongo and Corey Schneider shared honors of winning the William M. Jennings trophy for allowing the fewest goals in a season. Ryan Kesler won the Selke trophy for best defensive forward(mainly for the fact that Datsyuk missed a string of games with a wrist injury.) Marty St. Louis brought home the Lady Byng trophy for most gentlemanly player. Jeff Skinner brought home the Calder Trophy for rookie of the year. Ian Laperriere won the Bill Masterton trophy for Perseverance and Dedication to hockey. The winner of the Ted Lindsay award, awarded to the MVP of the season as determined by the players of the league, went to Daniel Sedin. Mike Gillis won GM of the year, and the Mark Messier leadership award went to Zdeno Chara. The King Clancy trophy, awarded to players deemed to have donated a significant Humanitarian contribution went to Doug Weight, who received a standing ovation. And perhaps the most interesting awarding of all. The Hart Trophy went to Corey Perry. Everyone suspected that Daniel Sedin would run away with it, but in a surprising twist of events, Corey pulled away his first Hart, most likely for his effort of carrying the team on his back after Ryan Getzlaf went down mid way through the season.

Next matter of business. This afternoon, the Philadelphia Flyers essentially blew up their roster by sending the 5th highest goal scorer of the NHL since 2009 to the Columbus Blue Jackets, 2003 11th overall pick Jeff Carter to the Columbus Blue Jackets for 2007 7th overall pick, Jakub Voracek, the 2011 8th overall selection, and a 3rd round pick, as well as sending 2003 24th overall pick Captain Mike Richards to Los Angeles for 2009 5th overall Brayden Schenn and 2007 61st overall pick, Wayne Simmonds. Long story short. The Flyers just sent their top two center across the country. Also, the Flyers signed goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov for a 9 year deal at 51 million dollars. That amounts to about to 5.66 million per year. That’s pretty high for a goaltender that genuinely has not proven a thing in the post season. The Flyers have a youthful forward corps, an aging defensive corps, and a ridiculously termed goaltender. None of this quite makes sense, however, because Philadelphia has 50 signed players, it’s speculated that they aren’t done, since 50 is the absolute max. So we’ll see where the Flyers wind up. I think it’s safe to say however, that Richards was traded as a result of the Pronger-Richards dispute, and it’s likely, Pronger will be the Flyers captain for next season. Columbus gets their first real first line center in franchise history, who’ll most likely center career Blue Jacket, Rich Nash, and possibly Kristian Huselius, while the Kings get a second line center to take some of the load off of Anze Kopitar’s back. Los Angeles is shaping up to be a top 3 team in the west next season based off this trade.

Which leads me to my next and final topic, The NHL Draft is tomorrow evening at 7 pm. I’m going to run a top 10 simulation, of the draft. I could be completely wrong, but being an armchair GM, I’m going to try anyway. Here’s my Mock Draft…

Hopkins

1. Edmonton - C Red Deer Rebels WHL Ryan Nugent-Hopkins

Best player available, center for Taylor Hall and Jordan Eberle, TSN interviewed 10 scounts, 9 of which said RNH is the best player available.

2. Colorado LW Gabriel Landeskog OHL Kitchener Rangers

Rather than taking the second best player available player, the Aves stick to precedent of the last couple of seasons by drafting a player further down, in this case, the most NHL ready player, and Swedish Mike Richards, Landeskog. Replaces Stewart and looks good on Duchene’s wing.

3. Florida C Jonathan Huberdeau QMJHL Saint John Sea Dogs

A late bloomer, Florida needs some offense, and Huberdeau looks like a promising 2 way player. They also pass on Larsson because of last year’s 3rd overall pick of Gudbranson.

4. New Jersey D Adam Larsson SEL Skelleftea HC

Unusual drafting position for the Devils, the Devils select the best defenseman available, a real fantastic prospect, Adam Larsson.

5. New York Islanders C Sean Couturier QMJHL Drummondville Voltigeurs

Islanders draft a real power forward to compliment Tavares. A real steal, if it wasn’t for a bout of Mono, he would probably be drafted top 2.

6. Ottawa - C Ryan Strome OHL Niagra Icedogs

Will require a lot of conditioning, but the Sens are bare on forwards in terms of prospects, has PPG potential.

7. Winnipeg D Dougie Hamilton OHL Niagra Icedogs

A strong pick for the new Winnipeg franchise, Hamilton is considered a 2 way defenseman, and could be a foundation with Enstrom and Bogosian for years.

8. Philadelphia(From Columbus) D Ryan Murphy OHL Kitchener Rangers

A pure offensive catalyst, and Don Cherry’s favorite player it seems like. Real threat from the blue line, and would help bolster a weakened Flyers defensive cupboard, and aging NHL blue line.

9. Boston (From Toronto) D Duncan Siemens WHL Saskatoon Blades

Fresh from a Stanley Cup parade, the Bruins select a player to bolster their bare defensive cupboard to compliment Tyler Seguin from last year.

10. Minnesota C Mika Zibanejad SEL Djurgarden

A strong two way center to compliment a two way system that Minnesota encourages, will compliment Koivu and Granlund well, has Backstrom-lite upside.

I'm no prospect expert, but that's my take. If I'm wrong about anything, I bet it's Colorado taking Larsson after all...

Anyway. Phil Signing off.

Hope everyone remembered not to duplicate their Bending units...(Tonight's Futurama Reference.)

Fax About Me #II: Top 25 Music Videos imo.

2011-06-19T17:03:00.000-07:00

This entry is being written for two reason: I am a person who loves making lists and I think I have been unofficially named the music writer for this blogging corporation of "Gerrymandering and Bolo Ties." Also, I am making this list because these music artists have found a way to combine the art of music with a visual art as well! It is apparent to me that you will probably have some discrepancies amongst the music videos that I have posted. I would love to hear what you think should be on the list, so feel free to leave a comment. Now, what are we waiting for? Lets get started!

25. Ms. Jackson - Outkast

Move over Keyboard Cat! An adorable puppy is playing piano in this video. It is pretty obvious that the puppy isn't actually playing the right notes as he runs across the keys, but it is still pretty cool. Normally, I hate things that involve talking animals. I made an exception for this song because they have so few lines. They also all contagiously bob their heads up and down with the song. This makes you do the same while thinking "Eff yeah, that pup knows whats up!" Even though the animals seem to get me off track, there are other features about this video that makes me love it. You see, Andre and Big Boi seem to be indebted to this older woman because they are doing all her chores. No matter what they do, it ends up in failure. For example, the car gets struck by lightning after it had just been washed. In this song, Big Boi raps to his future mother-in-law (the lady he is indebted to). The point of this video and song is to say, that even though he is a failure at everything else, he will still marry her daughter (his baby mama). If you do not even listen to the lyrics, you can tell because of "Here Comes the Bride" being played on the piano.

24. From Above - Ben Folds/Nick Hornby

If there is one word to describe this video, its "serendipitous." It is full of cool drawing effects and Ben Folds is hidden throughout it. It is just crazy to think that you could be that close to your soul mate and not meet until you are in heaven.

23. Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins

Known for directing "Little Miss Sunshine," Dayton and Faris made a very unusual video. At the time, it was hard for them to find costumes for it because the Titanic had taken all of the time period cloths in LA. It is obvious that other videos, such as "Into the Ocean" by Blue October, were heavily influenced by this one.

22. The Gorillaz (In General)

How many bands actually identify themselves as cartoons? There are not many more than the Gorillaz. The artwork is extremely well done and videos for songs such as "Feel Good Inc." have a lot of dimensional properties to it.

21. Rough Landing, Holly - Yellowcard

This video is full of neat effects. Ryan Key is always running from one man that looks like he wants to kill him. All he has to do is turn and he is in a different place. He goes out a window and comes out a man hole. He is swimming in the ocean and comes out a sink. Personally, I have always wanted to be part of a kissing train.

20. Nine Inch Nails (In General)

Nine Inch Nails are a band that pushes the limits of videos. They often make you go "WTF?" The video for "Closer" is known as one of the best videos of all time, however it is really weird. They also have one of the most horrifying videos of all time. The videos of theirs that I like are the ones that have been done more recently. For example, "Survivalism" is a video that gives you a big brother feel as you look at people through surveillance cameras. My favorite NIN video is the one for "Only." The reason I love this video is because it uses 3D Pin Art for Trent Reznor's face...it is pretty cool.

19. Buddy Holly - Weezer

Wait, wait, wait! Happy Days ended in 1983. This video was made in 1994...How did they do that?!??! Anyway I'm impressed. I remember watching this music video over and over on my computer when I was 8. All I ever remembered was the Fonz doing a split and "Not today Al!"

18. Sabotage - Beastie Boys

Who wouldn't love running around acting like asshole cops from the 1970's! This Starsky and Hutch-esqe video looks like it was incredibly fun to make. Beastie Boys are actually known for making a lot of funny videos. These videos include ones where they diss Sasquatch and others where there are fighting robots. However, I feel like Sabotage is the one that is by far the best.

17. Walkie Talkie Man - Steriogram

Though this band is only somewhat known for this song, it doesn't mean the video is not awesome. Everything is made out of yarn. EVERYTHING! and when the lead singer is ripped apart by a huge yarn man, he gets sewn back together...backwards! It's neat.

16. 30 Seconds to Mars (In General)

MAN TITS! Did I get your attention? well good, because in 30 Seconds to Mars' 13 minute film for "Hurricane" there are man boobs and much more. Most of their videos, especially lately, have been to make a point to end war or help the environment. After movies such as "Fight Club" (sorry for breaking rules), Jered Leto has tried to combine his theatrical nature with his on going music career. Each video is somewhere between six and fourteen minutes long and is directed as if it should be up for an Academy Award. I feel like each one is a part to a puzzle, but not one that I have figured out yet. This leaves me very intrigued.

15. Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden

Have you ever tried acid? I haven't...but this video makes it feel as I have. The whole time you watch it, you just say "what the hell is going on?" But it is one of the most unique videos and there really has never been a video that is like it.

14. Learn to Fly - Foo Fighters

A little help from Tenacious D was all this video needed to become one of the best of all time. The fact that the Foo Fighters love playing every other character in their videos also helped. I personally like this video for just how silly it is. Watching Dave Grohl play a girl in anything is worth it!

13. Smack My Bitch Up - Prodigy

This video was not let on tv. It is known as one of the most offensive videos of all time. However, the reason it is on this list is not for the sake of controversy. The reason is the way one thinks when watching it. This video makes you go into the point of view of an out of control partier. I have watched this video a couple times with other people and their comments are always "this guy..." and "he is crazy," things of that nature. You cannot watch this on Youtube because they censor the entire point of the video. After having wild crazy sex, the main character looks in the mirror, and sees a drugged out woman. The whole time, you thought you were a man! Mind. Blown!

12. Freak on a Leash - Korn

Though I will have a lot of friends that yell at me for having Korn on any list, this video is worth it. Directed by the same people who did "Tonight, Tonight," they were able to make a horrifying cartoon come to life. Also, you follow a bullet...it is just really neat, to say the least.

11. Typical - Mute Math

Yes, I know. There are a lot of videos that have done the backward thing. But this one is unique for a couple reasons. The first one is because of the natural stage presence of the band. There is just so much keytar breaking and keyboard flipping that its just impossible not to love it. Secondly, they try to do the things that would look the coolest backward. These things include shooting silly string and having paint thrown on the lead singer. I always just thought it was an extremely interesting video.

10. Ok Go (In General)

I do not think there is much I can say about Ok Go, that has not already been said. This band became famous because of their videos. Their popularity started with a choreographed dance on treadmills in the video for "Here it Goes Again." The video went viral and everyone wanted to watch it over and over again. Personally, I knew the dance without the treadmill at the time. More recently, they did music videos for songs "White Knuckles," where they had the help of some well trained dogs, and "This Too Shall Pass," which was all a big Rube Goldberg Machine (The Bravery did something similar). I think what makes this band so fantastic, is the fact that they do these things in one fluid take. That has to be time consuming!

9. Weapon of Choice - Fat Boy Slim

THE ICE, IS GONNA BREAK...because of how awesome this video is. In this video, Christopher is not only Walken but he is dancing! Did you know he could dance? He is actually a professional dancer, and he gets to showcase it. He is in a lobby all by himself and no one witnesses the astonishing stunts that he pulls. All of a sudden, he is flying! like really? FLYING? Yes. Flying. Though Fat Boy Slim has other videos that are also fun, this one will cure any fever...without a cowbell! Alright, I'll stop the puns now.

8. Vampire Weekend (In General)

Vampire Weekend is a band that tries to do anything they can to be unique. On top of that, their videos all seem very fun to make. With a couple of camera effects they are able to change with the seasons or screw around in an alley. For the sake of having fun, they also have cruised around in 70's garb...1670's that is! I am not the only one to notice their music video making ability. Other musicians and actors, such as Jake Gyllenhaal have made guest appearances!

7. Grapevine Fires - Death Cab for Cutie

I don't know if there is another music video that makes me feel as emotional as this one does. With some kind of paper art, Death Cab was able to bring the lyrics to the song to life. It reminds you to cherish the ones you have while they are around because we can burn away faster than paper.

6. The Scientist - Coldplay

"Hello, Chris Martin" we all say as we start with a close up on his baby blue eyes. Then we realize that the video is going all backward. "A backward video is cool and all, but it doesn't impress me that much," you say. Well if you would stop complaining and keep watching, you would notice that he is in deep contemplation the whole time. What could he be thinking about? Well, he then gets out of town and goes into the woods...in reverse. Eventually he gets into a car randomly in the grass and hits his head on the steering wheel and gets knocked out. Meanwhile, a girl bounces off the ground and comes back through the windshield. It is found out that she takes off her seat belt to get a jacket right before he gets into an accident. He was probably in shock when he left the vehicle, so i guess that explains why he didn't go check on his possibly dead girlfriend. However, even though this is a wonderful video it does the raise the question: How did she not get thrown out of the car sooner? Still, one of my favorites!

5. Love Lost -Temper Trap

To be honest, I wanted to do this list just to put this video in my top five. It finds a way to be both artistically done, while also being kind of comical. The video involves what I can assume is some kinda of ten year old youth soccer team that is forced to do laps. What makes it amazing is the fact that while running, the main kid is singing and all of them do some kind of exercise dance that is wonderful. On top of this, they eventually start doing flips and they jump in the mud during every cymbal crash. When there are no puddles to jump in, there are fireworks that shoot up out of the ground. Meanwhile, they get passed by a group of girls in much better shape then them. Finally, the song ends the best way possible...with a chubby kid throwing up. This video is just so unexpected, that is why it is great!

4. Californication - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

As a kid, I thought this was the coolest video ever. I always wished I could play a video game where you could swim with sharks and escape bear attacks, and RHCP's fake game delivers. I feel like I could play all day as Chad and snowboard down the Golden Gate bridge. This game...I mean video, was something that was very different. I would not be surprised if it actually influenced a game or two.

3. Jeremy - Pearl Jam

As we get into these last three videos, we enter into videos that are way before their time. Pearl Jam is a band known for their compelling songs about topics such as homelessness and domestic abuse. "Jeremy" was practically a warning about teenage anxiety in the 90's. I say it was a warning because seven years later the shooting at Columbine unfortunately struck the nation. This song and video basically tells others to pay attention. Jeremy was neglected by his parents and laughed at by his peers. No one knows how much actions and neglect can affect a person. It is a video that hits home because we all have those people in our life.

2. Take On Me -Ah-Ha

Before there was the cartoon/real life transition in "Freak on a Leash" there was "Take On Me," which will always go down as one of the best videos of all time. This is a video that just about everyone has seen. The main character falls in love with the hansom drawing version of the lead singer. As they are forced out of his world, she is forced to reluctantly go back to hers. She tries to save him and he becomes human, even though he almost dies doing so. Aw how cute! But this video seems as if its straight out of a Molly Ringwald romance.

1. Thriller - Michael Jackson

I remember being seven, fifteen years after this came out, and changing the channel when MTV would play the video. It was still horrifying late into the 1990's. If it wasn't for a change in the Horror genre, this music video would still be scary to me. It is as if they decided to take "The Night of the Living Dead" and actually make it more effective. What else can I say about this video? It was way before its time, the make up and directing is wonderful, and the dancing is legendary. By far, the best music video ever made in my opinion.

Entry 21: New Writers and Discussing the new Winnipeg hockey team.

2011-06-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

Hey FOLKS, the primary purpose of today's blog is to discuss the fact that Gerrymandering and Bolo Ties now has four writers...(three new ones). The purpose of adding these new writers is to add diversity(even though they're all white), different view points(Even though we grew up in the same county), and further the creativity that this blog so heavily stresses. With the increase of writers, there should be a genuine increase in readers as well and stuff. So I hope you enjoy the increase in entries, and the diversity in the writing and topics.

So, discussing something else completely different. In NHL news, for those of you who do not know, the Atlanta Thrashers owned by the Atlanta Spirit Group(Owner of Philips Arena in Atlanta and the NBA's Atlanta Hawks) have been sold to True North Sports and Entertainment Limited. What does that mean? The Thrashers are moving to Winnipeg. Now. I know what most of you are thinking. "Where the fuck is Winnipeg?"(Most people casually swear when they think in contrast to when they speak). Winnipeg is the largest city in the Canadian Province of Manitoba in central Canada. Coincidentally, it'll be the second smallest city to feature a professional sports team in North America.(The smallest being Salt Lake City). Winnipeg hasn't had a professional hockey team since the Jets left town in 1996 to move to Phoenix. (Typical fairweather team...The team probably had a uniform asthma attack and was looking for a drier comment.) I looked to interview long tenured winnipeg jet/phoenix coyote Shane Doan for a comment, but I couldn't find him. Anyway, with the sale finalized, all that remains is a vote by the NHL board of governors to solidify the team's placing in the league. Should the owners come to a super majority, which they should, Winnipeg will have a place in the league next year.

Now there have been many questions raised by all of this, such as, what will they be called? There's been a misconception that the Coyotes organization owns the trademark "Jets", because the original team relocated to Phoenix. However, because the Coyotes are in fact owned by the NHL, commissioner Gary Bettman, and the owners of TNSE have made it clear that if they decide to name the team the Jets, there will be no difficulty in doing so. Another discussed root is, will they name the NHL franchise after the AHL Manitoba Moose? Most fans are in unanimous agreement that that would be terrible. Then there's a disagreement over whether the team should be called Winnipeg or Manitoba? In my opinion, the team should be called the Jets. Why? Well, when it was announced the sale was finalized, footage of fans flooded the internet showing fans draped in Jets colors chanting, "Let's Go Jets!" For you see, despite losing the team because of lack of Corporate sponsoring, the fans of Winnipeg never gave up hope on their beloved franchise returning. So here's to TNSE naming their newly purchased team, the Jets.


Picture Winnipeg above Minnesota.

The next matter of controversy is regarding divisional realignments. There's been talk of putting them in the North Western division in the west, the central division, and even keeping them in the south east division for a season(where the thrashers played.) If scheduling is indeed finalized, then obviously they'll HAVE to play in the south east for a season, but if it isn't? What makes the most sense is putting them in the North West, moving Minnesota to the central division, and taking Nashville or Columbus and moving them to the Southeast, successfully moving everything around fairly equally. But that's open for discussion.

Commissioner Bettman

I'm truly excited for the fans of Manitoba, for Gary Bettman made it clear that if the team is to succeed, they'll need to sell at least 13000 tickets(it's a 15000 capacity arena, when most in the NHL are around 18000), they successfully met the drive within a week despite above average ticket prices to meet the expenses of a smaller arena. Hockey fever truly exists in Manitoba.

Either way, I'd like to congratulate the fans of Winnipeg, and I'd like to give my condolences to the fans of Atlanta. (Who lost their team due to corporate mismanagement, not because of their fans).

Anyway, that's all for today. Phil Away!


Nyanyannyan.

Fax About Me #I : I like Incubus?

2011-06-18T12:59:00.000-07:00

Writing in a blog is something new for me. Should I write as if I am a concerned reporter that is wondering what is wrong with this world? How can we fix it? Why Am I asking so many questions? Do people only read this because they Google "Spongebob Squarepants Sex"? If so, that brings me back to my original question: What is wrong with this world?

What I am really used to writing, besides term papers filled with bull, is poetry. It seems impossible for me to not put my feelings into metaphor. Many times rhyming words seem to come out of me like some kind of ectoplasm, leaving a part of me on paper. As you can see, it is a real problem.

But ladies and gentlemen, what I am really here to talk about is the band Incubus. Many of those who know me know my obsession with this band already. However, in the last week, they have engulfed my life. I am actually listening to them now as we speak. If you have not listened to said band, I suggest you do so. They have an ability to relate to any relationship or loss of relationship that you and I could possibly have.

To those whom I have had a "falling out" with, they have a song for them that says exactly what I am thinking. Actually they have about ten. I would show a few lyrics, but I feel like the rest of this blog will be full of lyrics pertaining to other situations. So for your sake and mine, I'll leave this paragraph lyric free.

I also was in an 18 month relationship that had just ended two weeks ago. Though I feel emotional at times, I can listen to Incubus and know that someone has felt the same way as I do, and can put it perfectly into words. The CD that really applies to me at the moment is "Light Grenades." To me, it is seen as the 'break up' album. It has lines that anyone out of a relationship can relate to. E.g. "You and I are like Oil and Water, and we've been trying to mix it up" or "Love hurts but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive. Love sings, when it transcends the bad things, have a heart and try me 'cause without love I won't survive." In a very poetic way, this says: though falling out of love can feel like you are emotionally dying, it is what we need to carry on. Though love in one place has died, love will live on. We just have to find it.

For those in a relationship, Incubus has about ten songs for you too! "Echo" is my favorite song of theirs because it is the theme song for those hopeless romantics that dream of falling in love at first sight. In songs such as "I Miss You," Brandon compares the lucky lady in his life to "a three-fold Utopian dream." If that is not the most poetic romantic line, then I don't know what is!

I have found that I have grown up with Incubus, almost maturing with them (even though they are probably 15 years older than me). Each album has its own feeling and sound, while still being able to sound like Incubus. They are not like bands, such as Kings of Leon and Muse, who completely changed their sound, because they most likely could not perfect their own. This new CD "If not now, when?" has songs such as "Promises, Promises." This song is most likely about Brandon sleeping with girls that he has no feelings for, believe it or not. To be specific, it says that he is taking the "road of least resistance." This leads me to ask, is this my future? We will have to just wait and see I guess!

My final thought about Incubus is how they affect me. When talking to my one friend, I was trying to explain, though it sounds cheesy, this band touches my soul. The way I see it, there is music for music sake, music to make a point, and music for a spiritual purpose. Churches with gospel choirs are able to do the same thing to people that this band is able to do to me. This band is why I can see people needing religion in their life. All I have to do is listen and I have hope, and I am proud of myself, and I know not to dwell on things that will only hurt me.

It is also why I can see people using drugs. I know that a lot of people listen to Incubus while high, but I'm not one to do such things. Personally, I do not think the drugs are necessary to feel their music. This fact makes me think though. Simply, I was able to compare both religion and drug usage to music. These are two things that many people would argue are completely different things. Though I do see similarities, I would not look at the drugs or the religion as being the major factors in this equation. Music is. It is the one thing that crosses boundaries. I may not be able to speak the same language as you, but we could react the same to certain music. I just say this, because I think it is really beautiful.

-Caleb

Entry 20: The Modern Day Zombie

2011-06-17T14:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, to make up for Gerrymandering and Bolo Ties' last debacle, I've decided to forward all of my readers three thousand big ones. But since I have tens of thousands of readers, the fraction that people will actually receive is actually very small. Because that three thousand dollars is communal. Also, just kidding. Please don't stop reading. Your angry faces as you read my humble blog keeps my heart beating, and keeps the bacon on the table(Also, the stapler does that too, but that's a different thing entirely.) and pays for my staples. Because of the recent success of my blog, yano, successfully going international and outernational, I've received more and more sponsors by the barrel fulls.( I actually highly considered listing an obscure, small business as a sponsor, but I scurred myself by the off chance they might discover I illegally gave them a shout out.) Anyway, keep on reading, and I'll present my undying love to you with a hammock and a sloppy joe, and we'll talk about our futures together, just so as long as you keep reading crater hole that is my blog. Today's matter of discussion falls on Zombie.

My first and only question. Can Zombies be productive members of society?


The Zombies

All puns aside, the rhetoric I press to you readers to concern yourselves over pertains to whether or not zombies can be productive elements to today's complex, and politically correct society.(Hello College Thesis)

For starters, let's approach this topic from a purely politically correct stand point. Girls hate when men objectify them, and men hate it when girls don't let guys objectify them. And if a person comes on too strongly to a fellow employee, the litigation quickly follows. The problem with zombies is they simply leave no personal space. They're simply always trying to eat people's brains. You might say it's because they're mindless. But the difference between them and the viewers of According to Jim is that the viewers of According to Jim are not discriminated against, whereas Zombies are in fact discriminated against.

There's been a rising movement among collegiate students, the "Romero Movement"(I'll treat a person to a Popsicle if they get the reference without looking it up, and since I can't trust anyone to not look it up, I immediately recede my offer.) as it's called, to not only bring Zombies to the work force, but to academia as well. There have been increasing cases of people trying to wed the zombie they love, but because they're undead and therefore, not tax paying citizens, the controversy rages on. The politicians on Capital Hill, especially of the Tea Party movement find them to be a threat to the American way. So I ask you, the readers, if you think Zombies should enter the work force and or academia and or should be allowed to marry non zombies.

The next matter of business in discussing the productive Zombie's role in society is whether or not they should receive social security benefits. This has been a pressing issue as well, for many zombies have a plethora of health issues such a dysentery, and live to be much older than sixty two. A lot of democrats were fighting for Zombie medicare and medicaid, when the Republicans were opposing it. This is certainly a hot button issue, that won't be resolved quickly.

Next, the Zombies are starting to sit in front of buses in the south. A lot of southeners are getting increasingly more antsy with the presumptuous Zombies. As everyone knows, the South has decided to discriminate against Zombie men and women by installing different bathrooms, schools, water fountains, and segregating public transportation. This should not stand, but we all know how fickle zombie haters are.

Finally, and most importantly, How do we deal with the rising civil war between Cyborgs and Zombies? Do we bunker down and say our prayers, or do we pick a side, like the grand U S of A did in the first World War?

Can a Zombie really thrive in today's America? And when will the hate crimes come to an end? And should they come to and end? Clearly grey issues.

I'll let you readers mull these issues over, until next time.

Au Revoir!

Entry 19: Who would even live in a Pine Apple under the Sea?

2011-06-15T00:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this blog is dedicated to a few things this evening.

Mainly This:

I'll probably be straining to write anything of genuine substance, and this'll probably be my worst blog yet, but that's whatever. I'm not trying to impress my 6 readers.(Please don't leave....I do it for you, I promise.)

So, I basically really wanted to write about my favorite porous, business casual sponge in the deep blue sea, without sounding too verbose....So I'm just going to write in really small sentences that viewers of all ages can truly enjoy, while avoiding the risk of writing any kind of run on sentences and stuff, etc. So, to start, I think we all have our favorite character from the Steve Hillenburg(I didn't even look that up, what's up?) Nickelodeon show, and I'm sure most of you would say Larry.

Larry

Obviously because he's not just some fool who ripped his pants.

As seen here.

And I know a lot of you will say some of the cliche' favorites, such as the Screaming Chocolate Guy(aka MY LEG guy)...

Or Deaugh guy...

Or even Pinhead Larry(No relation to Larry the Lobster):

But I'm here to tell you my faithful reader(s) that I'm going against the grain. For once in my life I'm making a stand on a topic that matters. I won't pick any of these cliche' Spongebob characters, oh no sir, I'm going to pick an obscure character, that I'm sure most of you forgot about. My favorite character just so happens to be really good at playing the cashier. Squidward Tentacles.

Not to be confused with his more well known, and more popular doppleganger, Squilliam Fancyson.

What can't Squidward do? He keeps Spongebob and Patrick and check, he keeps the Krusty Krab franchise a float, and he's really good at playing the cashier and doing art stuff and also the clarinet kind of. So. Next time you pick a favorite Sponge Bob character, I entice you to consider Squidward...

Anyway, Spongebob Squarepants first aired on Nickelodeon over 11 years, and has made a lasting impact on an entire generation. There's a few things that'll sell these days, and those things include the following: Sex, Drugs, and Spongebob(If you fuse the three.....Jeebus). So I decided to follow the trend by writing about one of those three things.(Shit, I haven't been swearing enough these days to entice my dirtier readers.)

I'm sure everyone has their favorite episode of spongebob too, mine just happens to be the one about the slash bringing hasher....the sash ringing....the trash singing....the mash flinging...the flash springing...ringing...the crash dinging.....The Hash Slinging Slasher. Aka, Graveyard Shift. I think we can ALL agree that's a classic. One of Squidward's best, clearly.

Anyway, this blog really doesn't have much of a point. It's just a blog about jelly fishing and stuff, man. But, that's basically all. Sorry for wasting all of you folks' time. The next one will be better, I promise.

Until next time. Seeya True Believers.

Entry 18: In Brightest Day, In Darkest Night, Mortal Kombat 9 will Test Your Might

2011-05-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

Aloha citizens of Blogtopia, what brings you to the humble abode that is my blog? You wish to read entertaining entries with casual swearing, you say? Well then, you've come to the right place, because if there's one thing this blog is notorious for, it's casual swearing. Hell Damn Fart! Anyway, sorry for the long delay between entries, I've been caught up with collegiate finals and camaraderie of summer that I haven't had time to write jibberish on this here blog. Now I know you've all waited with bated breath for my next entry after I wrote sheer poetry when discussing the importance of cyborgs in popular culture, but today I come to you to discuss the Green Lantern movie and the newest Mortal Kombat! So, I hope you've got your mouse ready to skim through this filler entry, because it promises to be one of my better filler entries.

In brightest day,

In darkest night,

No evil shall escape myself sight,

Let those who worship evil's might,

Beware my power,

Green Lantern's Light!

Alan Scott

A little backstory regarding the Green Lantern Corps before I write about the upcoming Warner Brothers Film, the Green Lantern mythos began in July of 1940, when a young railroad engineer by the name of Alan Scott who found a magical green lamp which was prophesied to bring him great power. He subsequently isn't a real Green Lantern, that is, he isn't part of the Green Lantern Corps officially, but in modern times, he is considered an honorary Green Lantern. 19 years later, when the Golden Age of Superhero characters were fading into obscurity(Except the trinity of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman), many of the Golden Age characters were reinvented such as the Flash, Hawkeye, etc. Along with all these reinvented characters included the Green Lantern mythos. Hal Jordan was a test pilot who had a fateful encounter with the greatest Green Lantern perhaps second only to Sinestro, Abin Sur who was dying.(Whenever a Green Lantern dies, their ring searches for a living thing that possesses great willpower and courage.) Hal Jordan takes the ring and joins the ranks of the intergalatic police force, the Green Lantern Corps.

The Green Lantern and his supporting cast has been a staple for DC Comics for 40 years, with 5 Earth Based Lanterns, and many crazy aliens, such as the comic community beloved, Kilowag.(ya Poozer), and has experienced resurfaced popularity since Geoff Johns took over the title in 2004 with the reboot, Green Lantern: Rebirth through Brightest Day. Which leads us to the up and coming Summer Blockbuster.

Plot wise, from everything I can see thus far, the newest Green Lantern film starring Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Mark Strong, and Peter Sarsgaard looks very promising. It explores the Green Lantern Universe, has a good first movie villain in Hector Hammond and appears to be displaying foreshadowing of future villains with the very embodiment of fear, Parallax, and the fallen Lantern, Sinestro. Strictly speaking about plot, it's very promising.

Cast? I think they got it all right, Mark Strong, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard all look like pretty promising selections, and as for Mark Reynolds. I have my skepticism, being a long time Green Lantern reader, but I'm naively optimistic, and think he'll be fine.

The most gripes I've heard is regarding about how the film looks, especially the costume. I actually think the costume looks just fine, and makes the Green Lantern look very alien and futuristic, and like a true uniform. I think the planet Oa(Where Lanterns are based) looks absolutely stunning, and all and all, I'm very optimistic about this movie, and I entice everyone to give it a chance.

Sorry 'bout that tangent boys and girls, but let's talk about something far more bloody. And by that, I mean Mortal Kombat.

Come Over Here!

Little known fact about this author is that I'm actually a big fan of this Midway series, having played every game extensively....At least every main game(Shaolin Monks doesn't count, etc.), having played 4 the fewest. Anyway, I played Mortal Kombat 9, which essentially served as a reboot to the series, taking it back to it's roots by making it extra bloody and grotesque than usual. This series really took it back to it's roots, there was special preordering downloadable content that gave classic characters, Sub Zero, Scorpion, as well as Ermac, Noob Saibot, Reptile, and Smoke their original ninja costumes. There's even Downloadable content to give Cyrax and Sektor their original costumes as well. Storyline wise, the series takes place between the first 3 games, starting with the first Mortal Kombat tournament introducing Shang Tsung, leading into the second establishing the evil emperor of outworld, Shao Khan. It showcases the Cyborg Ninjas, Cyrax and Sektor as humans, and even introduces Sub Zero as a Cyborg! So clearly, they did a lot right, but what about gameplay you ask? Addicting. The combos are all there, the fatalities, babalities, stage fatalities, all there. There's even a new feature called X-Ray attacks where you can see just how bone crunching your blows truly are. This is probably the most violent Mortal Kombat game ever. I strongly endorse this title, boys and girls.

Anyway, that's enough of this guy.

Au Revoir!

Entry 17: Playoffs? Playoffs? We're talking Playoffs here.

2011-04-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

This blog is about North America's 3rd/4th favorite professional sport's annual playoffs. That's right. We're talking about the National Hockey League's playoffs. Now it's true the NBA's playoffs are upon us, and we could talk about the NFL's lockout til the cow's come, and we could talk about the beginning of the MLB season, BUT. We're going to talk about something else that will alienate all my female readers and probably motivate them to never read my blog again, and that's hockey. This blog is all about hockey.

I love Ice hockey, I truly do, I've played it since I was 7, and after I began learning how to skate I became a fan of the Detroit Red Wings. I'm often asked why I love Detroit and New York Sports teams. My love for New York Sports team stems from my upbringing there, but my love for Detroit sports teams is much more unorthodox. I became a Red Wings fan because, when I was 7, having been learning how to skate, I decided to start paying attention to the sport. I asked my father to name some teams, and when he named the Red Wings, I immediately decided they would be my favorite team, because my favorite color is red, and wings is animal like, and when I was 7 I loved anything that pertained to animals. It was sheer coincidence that in the same year I became a Red Wings fan, they won their second of back to back Stanley Cups, beatings the Capitals in 4. I fell in love with Tomas Holmstrom, Chris Osgood, and Sergei Fedorov that season. However, it was when the captain, Steve Yzerman handed the paraplegic Vladimir Konstantinov the Stanley Cup in his wheel chair(Konstantinov was a top pairing defenseman for us on the 1997 team who got into a limousine accident over the summer when celebrating the cup win), I realized what it meant to be a leader, and a compassionate human being. And from that day on, Steve Yzerman became my favorite hockey player, my role model, and the 1997-1998 Detroit Red Wings have remained my all time favorite hockey team since then.


Last Year's Champions, the Chicago Black Hawks

I've been blessed to have been a fan of the most prosperous sports team of the last two decades, and this season we enter our 20th consecutive playoffs dating back to 1991, my birth year. Since then, we've made the finals 6 times, and won the cup 4 times, I've witnessed 4 of these finals appearances, and 3 of those cups since watching hockey. However, I think it's well known that I'm a hockey fanatic, I can practically spout of the line up of any team dating back since the lockout ended, simply because I love the sport. I will sit and watch any game that's on, and really appreciate all the teams in the NHL, and love the decorated history of this prestigious game. And so, we move into our 94th Stanley Cup playoffs, as we know the NHL today.

Despite being a huge Red Wings fan, I'm a realist when it comes to this game, and seeing the playoffs dawn upon us over the last couple of weeks, I made my own personal predictions. I have the Sharks v.s the Flyers in the finals, but anything could happen. Vancouver looks great, the Bruins and Capitals look daunting, anyone can truly make the finals this year, which is what makes this sport so great. Already, with only the first games passing, we saw Montreal Canadiens goaltender, Carey Price, New York Rangers goaltender, Henrik Lundqvist, and Buffalo Sabres goaltender, Ryan Miller all stand on their heads in the first game, playing exceptionally well. These playoffs have been nothing short of exciting, and it's only been the first game. I expect Joe Pavelski, of the San Jose Sharks to have a second consecutive, HUGE playoffs. I expect Jonathan Toews, of the Chicago Black Hawks, to give his team every possible opportunity, to pull an upset on the Vancouver Canucks, I expect the Montreal Canadiens and Carey Price to frustrate anyone they play against, I expect Chris Pronger to piss off someone, and I expect Nicklas Lidstrom to be perfect, as always.


Bobby Baun's Broken Leg Goal

It's a great time of year when player's lose their teeth, beards grow out(Especially mine), goal horns sound of, and players skate on broken legs ala Bobby Baun. It's the time of year that'll define a legacy, when history is truly made. And I for one hope that everybody watches these playoffs with as much excitement and anticipation that I'll be expressing and containing. Because it'll truly be a memorable experience.

Until next time, looks like Team Rocket's Blasting Off Again!

Entry 16: Everything would be better with Cyborgs except real life.

2011-04-07T21:59:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone and welcome to my momentous 20th blog. Why is it so momentous you ask? Simple. I did not think I'd stick with it for as long as I have, and I'm thoroughly impressed that I've gotten this far and have written nonsensical entries about things people don't care about for this long. It's truly an accomplishment and I deserve all the praise in the world. Just kidding. But seriously, I was looking over my views and this blog has been clicked 306 times. That's pretty awesome for only having 19 entires up til now. So, even though no one's commenting, it feels okay knowing that people are at least maybe reading my ramblings. That is, the stark raving ramblings of a deranged college student, etc. Anyway. Today's entry is on one mere topic. And I feel like it'll be a good one. Today's topic: Cyborgs.

The earliest median that I've ever seen with a Cyborg was an old Doctor Who episode from the 60's featuring the Cybermen where the said Cyberman would take human bodies and replace parts with mechanical prosthesis and were emotionless creatures driven by logic. Not to be confused with Vulcans, which is what this blog is NOT about. Our popular culture is chop full of Cyborgs with all sorts of goals. You have the villainous cyborgs, like Metallo, the Superman villain....Cyborg Superman....the Green Lantern and Superman villain, Anakin Skywalker, Androids 16-20(The English dub of Dragonball Z called them Androids, but believe me, they're cyborgs.), The Borg from Star Trek, Doctor Claw from Inspector Gadget, General Grievous from Star Wars, Gigan from Godzilla, etc. etc. etc.You have the hero Cyborgs, like Cyborg of the Teen Titans, Deathlok the Demolisher of Marvel Comics, Robocop, the Spartan from Wildstorm Comics, etc. And then you have people like the Terminator who are both depending on the movie you watch.(He's actually an Android...) Cyborgs are in SO much media, and the purpose of this entry is for you, the reader, to agree in seeing just how essential Cyborgs are in every day life.

Before, we go into more detail about why we should have more Cyborgs in everything, let's distinguish between robots, androids, and cyborgs. Robots are just machines. Period. Androids? Robots that look like humans. Cyborgs? A mix of man and machine! An abomination to everything good and holy as we know it! And thusly, that is why we should have more Cyborgs in everything....Except real life. If you notice in the previous paragraph, there are not many heroic cyborgs. They take the gifts that some scientist gave them and use them for sheer EVIL. Uncle Ben Parker would be ashamed.(With great power comes great responsibility, etc.) So with that said, imagine if every book you're reading had a cyborg in it? Say you're reading David Copperfield. What if he was a Cyborg? Say you're reading the Three Musketeers. What if the de-facto leader, Athos, was a Cyborg? What if in the story of Jonah and the Whale, the whale was a Cyborg?(There should be more aquatic based Cyborgs in general). What if we add them to movies. What if in Philadelphia, Tom Hanks is a Cyborg?(this would carry over to Forrest Gump a year later, obviously.)....(Although, when he had those leg braces on, he kind of WAS a Cyborg.) What if Andy from Toy Story had a Cyborg toy that was better than Buzz at everything because he's a Cyborg? Anyway, the point is. Everything would be better with a Cyborg. And now, I'm just going to rattle off some pictures of notorious cyborgs listed in an earlier paragraph. I hope you've enjoyed this bizarre entry, because I sure enjoyed writing it.

Deathlok

Sektor from Mortal Kombat

Cybermen

Dr. Claw

Cable from X-Men

Until Next Time, this bird's gotta fly!

Blog 15: Transformers, Twilight Zone, Black and White.

2011-03-28T12:25:00.000-07:00

Hello True Believers, I'm back for yet another exciting blog! This blog will contain more nudity, swearing and Michael Bay esque Explosions, than Predator(I saw so much Predator ass that movie). However, we're not going to talk about the testosterone filled Predator movie. This blog will contain discussion regarding the Transformers film series, the old 1960's Twilight Zone, The new Pokemon Black and White games, and Young the Giant. Now let's get rockin'!

It took many years for the Transformers to feature a live action movie unlike other 1980's cartoons, IE The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(My favorite was always Donatello by the way), and for obvious reasons. How even were you going to make a giant Bumblebee? (I hope all my readers visually pictured a giant bee...Jerry Seinfeld will get all the royalties for that visualization.) So, finally, fans were promised a Transformers movie and the hype was high. And why not? Peter Cullen, the voice actor whom originally played Optimus Prime in the 1980's cartoon was returning. The core group of Autobots and Deceptions were returning! Everything seemed promising. Then the movie came out....And I'm fairly sure Megan Fox got more screen time than Optimus....There's something inherently wrong with that.(Which goes against the male grain) The action scenes were great, but the human story was just the worst thing ever, and it's highlighted by one of my least favorite actors, Mr. Shia Labeouf. He's just such a terrible actor(See: Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls, Indiana Jones). This is highlighted more so in the sequel, Revenge of the Fallen. Firstly, Michael Bay begins to just go against the Cybertronian grid all together, and starts making up stuff. He adds a character who only exists in one very small continuity....the Fallen...It's so very lame. They added the great former Decepticon now highly decorated Autobot scientist, Jetfire...But turned him into a geriatric ol' geezer. Can robots even age? Point is, the entire series has been a monumental disappointment since the getco, and I have no doubt that the third installment, which hits screen this summer, will also disappoint substantially.

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area we call the Twilight Zone. The series ran from 1959 to 1964 in an age of television when everything was heavily censored. Rod Serling was an individual who lead the way into breaking the barriers of what was allowed and wasn't allowed on tv. And we're not talking about nudity or of anything of the sorts, we're talking about rhetorical discussions used in the context of the "Twilight Zone." Rod Serling himself wrote most of the episodes which varied from topic to topic whether making commentary on inner beauty or on the communist scare of the 1950's. This was a brilliant program that stands the tests of time to this day, and cultivates the mind to think outside of the box. I know that Mr. Serling is a creative inspiration for me to this day, because if there's anything I want my creative writing to be able to do, it's to cultivate other's minds. The Twilight Zone usually airs for 24 straight hours on the 4th of July and New Years on the Scifi(Syfy) channel, and I recommend unfamilar viewers to watch. Because you never know when you yourself will be making a stop into....the Twilight Zone.

Next topic, Gamefreak and Nintendo Studios released yet another installment into the wildly successful Pokemon franchise. Pokemon Black and White. Pokemon is such a wildly successful franchise, it's Nintendo's second highest selling franchise behind that of Mario, their mascot. This is considered the 5th generation(First being Red and Blue, Second being Gold and Silver, third being Ruby and Sapphire, and 4th being Diamond and Pearl) of Pokemon games and fans are left thinking, "Really?" or, "Shit yeah!" The game sold extremely well, becoming one of the most successful games released on the Nintendo DS, and reviews were exceedingly high. All reviews for the games averaged around a 9.0 out of 10, which is phenomenal. Long time players have said playing this game is like playing the original Red and Blue, and that series clearly went back to it's roots. That in itself is pretty cool. I bought White, played the crap out of it, and it was addicting, and cultivating as ever. I hated the designs of the actual Pokemon at first, but I warmed up on them as I played the game. And they're actually quite good. I recommend these games to everyone.

And finally, I leave a question to the readers of the blog. You don't have to answer it since it'll demonstrate how few readers I actually have. BUT. Who'd win in a fight? Han Solo or Indiana Jones? (With no weapons.)

Just keep readin' the ol' Blog.

El Bloggo Numero 14: Sheetz Suckz, Taco Bell Muy Bueno.

2011-03-02T22:02:00.000-08:00

Hey True Believers, it's me returning to blog yet again, however, unlike blogs past, I have a personal vendetta against the first topic, which pertains against Sheetz. Sheetz is basically a gas station / convenient store that sells many items and basically tries to be Wawa.( Another widespread gas station / convenient store.) This is a topic of monumental importance to the world at large. We can ignore the riots throughout Northern Africa and the Middle east, ignore the rising inflation throughout the United States, Obama's proposed lowered budget for 2012, and even the revolutionary Watson who tore apart human competitors on Jeopardy not too long ago. Today's topic about two convenient store chains.

Okay, so I went to my first Sheetz last week and I wasn't too wonderfully impressed. They had a looming canopy over their Gas Station that loomed over that to the convenient store which was daunting. Upon entering the business of humble origins I noticed what looked appeared to be a booming industry. Having grown up on Wawa when I lived in Southern Jersey, and then again when I lived in eastern Pennsylvania, it was all too apparent for this college lad that I was no longer in Wawa country. The people with whom I attended this foreign trading station knew where to go and what to do right away. Whereas I was dumbfounded by the slight similarities between the two, but at the same time, the overwhelming differences. I decided to investigate the refrigerated beverages first, and low and behold, there was a plethora of cold beverages to choose from. Alas, despite the increase quantity, there was a surprising lack of quality. Wawa is infamous for their wide array of store brand teas, juices, and milk. These beverages were absent from the shelves of Sheetz. Or, in more economic terms. There wasn't a substitute. Just inferior goods. So, with that noted, i made my way to food section. There were more options there than at Wawa. You could get burgers and french fries for example. Hell, if I recall correctly, you could even get a cheesesteak if you so pleased. So, having had gone there twice, I tried a cold cut sandwich the first time(turkey), and a grilled chicken sandwich the second. Both experiences left me feeling sick to my stomach. A feeling that Wawa never leaves me with. The reason I even decided on going the second time was because of the simple fact I was fooling myself into believing the first incident was merely isolated. So to all you Sheetz lovers, I intend not to offend, I'm merely offering my two cents, and with that said, to all you people who have never been to Sheetz, I would avoid it if I can. And finally, in conclusion, Sheetz offers a great variety of products, but it does not offer the same quality, as Wawa.

Pressing on into Spanish territory, the next "order" of business pertains to a more sizzling topic. Talking about more food, the next topic is about Taco Bell. Taco Bell is one of the most successful fast food businesses in North America, belonging to Yum Inc along with KFC, Long John Silvers, Pizza Hut, and others, it's truly one of the tastiest fast food restaurants around. Now I know it's rather irrelevant to write a paragraph on a chain that literally everyone knows about. So, what I'm going to write about are entrées that perhaps you, the consumer, have never had. Everyone's probably had their hard and soft beef tacos and their beefy 5-layer burritos, or even their crunch wrap supremes. If you're unimpressed by those meal options, may I suggest trying a Gordita or a Chalupa of the nacho cheese variety? It's Scrumptious. Or even a Quesadilla? And for an appetizer try out their cheese roll ups. They're freaken bangin'. Anyway, enough of this promo, of which I'm not even being paid for. Just do it.

Anyway, this was by far the most biased and opinionated blog I've ever written, and it's not even a political entry(what with being a government major and all). But these are my opinions, and I just shoved them down your throat. Accept my editorial bullshit readers.

Until next time, Ciao.

Entry 13: Tale of Two Blogs, Pokemon Generation IV, and Baseball

2011-02-23T11:57:00.000-08:00

Here’s the tale of two blogs. Two blogs that are so radically different from one another that they’re actually dramatically the same. In other words, it’s the same blog, in two mediums, just to increase my exposure to the internet. But. To make things more complicated, the blog on blogspot is on entry 17, and the one on tumblr is on 1. By the time the Blogspot is on entry 50, the blog on tumblr will be on 33. How confusing is that, bros and brahs? Anyway, moving on.

Here’s the link to the Tumblr blog: http://cyborgdocholliday.tumblr.com

Pokemon Generation 4 is winding to an end with the impending release of the generation 5 games, Pokemon Black and White(a blog will be dedicated to their release when the game is released) So, with that said, here’s a blog dedicated to Pokemon Pearl, Diamond, Platinum, Heart Gold, and Soul Silver. The last two being direct remakes of Pokemon Gold and Silver. Anyway, the 4th generation contained a variety of crap pokemon, that’s for sure, but the gameplay was fun, and there were handful of serious pokebros. The series, in my opinion has yet to dull, and consumes a fair amount of my life. Soul Silver just happened to be my favorite pokemon game yet though. Basically because I loved Silver more than any other pokemon game, even red, and a remake just basically made me cream myself. Everyone has their series they’ve been playing since they were a kid. Mario. Sonic. Donkey Kong. Mine happens to be Pokemon. Anyway, good series overall, and I’m looking forward to Black and White’s impending release.

Moving right along, next matter of business is that Baseball season is upon us with Spring Training coming up and players already reporting to camps. I for one, am ecstatic for the impending season. Two power houses stand from each league in the Red Sox and the Phillies, and I think a lot of people are truly electrified for this coming season. Especially in the Philadelphia region now that they have 4 aces…

http://www.crossingbroad.com/2011/02/old-people-like-aces-too.html#more

Anyway, long season, and i’m simply registering my sentiments ahead of time of my impending excitement. That’s about it. Until next time.

I'M OFF!

Entry #12: Streetlight Manifesto, Marble Hornets, and The Lost Generation

2011-02-19T22:39:00.000-08:00

Cutting to the chase, about two weeks ago, I saw the Ska/Jazz Punk band Streetlight Manifesto at Penn State University. It was a misty Monday evening filled with sleet as I embarked upon my journey to the institution of higher learning, 3 hours both ways. I met up with my peers from high school as we trekked on over to see the exuberant, high energy band. The warm up band was one of the big, local bands known as the Go Go Gadgets. They weren't a bad band by any means....Not exactly the most original band, but they were not catering in front of the right audience. They played popular songs such as Dynamite by Taio Cruz in front of a punk of punk kids. They were not well received. But after they bowed, Streetlight exploded on the scene and did not disappoint. My fourth time seeing them, and despite having a shorter set than usual, they were absolutely amazing despite their bass player, Pete McCullough, not being there, it was a blast. Best part was when they closed with my favorite song of theirs, Somewhere in the Between, and catching lead singer/songwriter/guitarist Tomas Kalnonky's pick. It was one hell of a show, and it was a bitch getting home.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlWFbDpJgyw

So, let's talk about something more spine tingling, shall we? In the last few weeks, we've seen the new season of the terrifying series known as Marble Hornets. To explain to those who are unfamiliar with Marble Hornets, Marble Hornets is a youtube sensation about two separate individuals being haunted by an unknown figure dubbed by fans as "Slenderman." In any case, Entries 27 through 35 have been uploaded sporadically on their youtube account, and take it from this personal account, it's especially spine tingling.

Long time Green Arrow and Batman writer, Judd Winick tackled a new ongoing known as Justice League: Lost Generation, written as an homage to the 1980's series, Justice League International which was groundbreakingly memorable for it's combination of humor and action, featuring most of DC Comics B list characters, and an injection of the likes of Wonder Woman or Batman from time to time. More than twenty years later, he's been working on a marvelous ongoing with a team of characters that have been disbanded since then, working to take out the big, bad villain of infinite crisis and their old boss, Max Lord. The series stars Booster Gold, Captain Atom, Fire, Ice, a new Rocket Red, and the new Blue Beetle. Now, I know what you're thinking, "WHO THE SHIT ARE THEY!?" And that's the beauty of the series. The ongoing is only on issue 19, and I highly recommend any reader to take the chance on picking it up. It's a good title.

Until Next Time. Goulet.

Entry 11: Marvel v.s Capcom 3, The NHL All Star Game, and Geoff Johns

2011-01-28T08:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, folks here we are for another rousing series of ramblings patented exclusively by me. Today I'm going to talk about the impending release of Marvel v.s Capcom 3, The up and coming NHL All Star Game, DC Comics writer Geoff Johns, and Greek philosopher Plato.

We'll start off with the gaming stuff.

Firstly, I usually dislike Marvel Comics. I could elaborate on that, but we can save an entry on that for later, but I usually do appreciate the mass media products Marvel puts out, such as movies and games. And that Marvel v.s Capcom is absolutely no exception. The first two games, predominately more infamous for being arcade games, are some of the most intricate fighting games ever released. And, if not truly a buff at them, requires some surious button mashing. Marvel v.s Capcom 2 came out 11 years ago in the turn of the new millennium, and was a 2 dimensional fighter released under the Naomi arcade platform. It was a wildly popular game, and a wildly difficult game. One I happen to not be very good at. Anyway, 11 years later, we get a beautifully polished looking game with a full blend of characters ranging from Ryu and Viewtiful Joe to Wolverine and Iron Man. Not counting Downloadable content, the game features a whopping 36 characters, and the game builds upon a intricate, meticulous strategy where a player selects up to three characters at a time. There's been unbelievable hype for this game from the gaming world, not unlike that for Super Smash Bros. Brawl back when the Nintendo Wii was first released, and it looks nothing short of promising. The game is to be released on February 17 on US Shores.

Left to Right: Captain America, Taskmaster, Spiderman

Moving right along to our next topic, The NHL All Star game is this Sunday, and like All Star games, no one is going to watch. Forget the fact it's a hockey all star game, just the fact that it is indeed an All Star game all but cements the fact no one will watch it. However, I think the NHL's Vice President of Hockey and Business Development, and former Red Wings, Brendan Shanahan has done a great job at developing some sort of hype for this all star slug fest between the all stars of the NHL world.....Except for Sydney Crosby....Who got a bruise or something and can't make the game....For the second straight time....*Ahem* (Note: Editorial Bullshit: The NHL would have a better face for the league, if said current face wasn't partially covered up by his pacifier.) Moving on, this time around, the NHLPA(National Hockey League Player's Association) took the players voted in by fans and picked by the league itself(picked by seasonal statistics and accounted for by parity's sake to give every team some sort of representation), and voted for two captains. Nicklas Lidstrom, greatest defenseman of our generation and current captain of the Detroit Red Wings, and Eric Staal, one of the premier league's power forwards, and captain of the hometown Carolina Hurricanes(game's in Raleigh, North Carolina). The two Captains then go on to have a draft and pick their own team. This aspect of the game has sparked more interest in the weekend than the actual game has itself. The theory is Lidstrom will pick many other countrymen, being that he's from Sweden, and that many NHL Swedes are pretty close.(2006 Turin Olympics unified the countrymen substantially) And on top of all that, The NHL Guardians, which'll either be decent, or laughably horrible will make whatever debut they have Sunday as well. So, stay tuned for entertaining NHL festivities this weekend.

Next order of business. I'd like to talk about one of my very favorite writers of the comic industry currently. The architect of what may be the best ongoing book of the last decade, and the best crossovers in ages, Geoff Johns. Geoff Johns is solely responsible for The reinvention of Hal Jordan and the entire Green Lantern Corps. He took the series starting from Rebirth, moving into the Sinestro Corps War, and then to Blackest Night, and currently is working on Brightest day. Six years of phenomenal work. It's because his dialog between characters, his character development, and attention to details is incomparable. He may not have the subtlety that fellow writer Grant Morrison has, but he knows how to write and enthralling and exciting book. And to think, he's had all of this outlined since it's inception. He's made the Green Lantern so popular within Comic circles that it's inspired a film to be released this summer before another Superman movie or even a Wonder Woman movie. DC Comics editor Dan Didio is fully aware of the prominent success of Johns and has handed him the reigns to many other DC books, such as some Superman books, the Flash, Booster Gold, the Justice Society of America, among others. I just wanted to give a shout out to probably my favorite second writer of the business. Perhaps I'll elaborate more on the Green Lantern mythos in a future blog.

Alright folks, I had it planned that I'd rant about Plato in this blog too, but frankly I wrote a lot already, so I'll save that for the next entry. But for now, I bid a humble adieu to all, and to all a good night. Seeya my few, and faithful.

Yo, this is the 10th entry and it has content pertaining to the NHL Guardians, Independence, and Generic Wawa Drank.

2011-01-19T07:31:00.000-08:00

Here we are folks, time for another blog entry. I dunno about the rest of you, but I hit a serious 4-5 week writing block. Shit was not cash. However, listening to Bomb the Music Industry and drinking some serious generic wawa drank while wearing superman jammie bottoms and a let it be shirt, I can honestly say this newly rediscovered independence is pretty righteous as my 1980's born would attest. Or, as Milhouse would say, "radical." 'Cause that was his catchphrase. Anyway, I got really tired of my title formula that I used for the first 10 entries, so I rearranged that. If you want to stay alive in this business, and I don't mean that cannibalistic airplane movie.(fathom that, planes eating eachother, what the shit?) Anyway, I'm back and bigger and badder than ever. You're favorite resident blogging badass. And the good news, the writing in this is more pretentious than ever.(Not unlike the author, obviously.)

FIRST MATTER OF BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The NHL and Stan Lee have teamed up for a new Guardian Project. What's a Guardian Project? The Guardian Project is an idea where Stan Lee takes every NHL team and recreates them into a superhero, often taking the city from which the team is from into heavy account. Suffice to say, it's a neat, cute little idea. And being a huge hockey AND comic books fan you'd think I'd adore it. Lawlz. Well. A lot of the creations that Stanley Lieber(Stan Lee) has created are pretty plagiarized looking, or pretty crappy looking.... That really pains me to say. For I love Stan Lee, and I love Hockey. And I know I couldn't do any better or anything, but....c'mon. Allow me to introduce you to a good one. And a bad one. And a plagiarized one.

Here's the Oiler...He's all right....

This is his bio though:

"The Oiler" is serious in a way that only a guy living on the outskirts of the most northern Canadian metropolis can be. He's gritty and tough like the roughneck oilrig workers he mostly associates with. He loves getting his hands dirty and not only doesn't he shy away from hard, physical work, he relishes it. He spends a majority of his time roaming the Northwest Territories. He's most happy when he's exploring the vast northern wilderness.

He does have a lighter side although his superhero buddies don't always get his quirky sense of humor. He's a modern day Cain constantly searching for the wisdom that he's certain the frozen north has to offer.

In stature you'd be hard pressed to find a more impressive Guardian. He's a 10 and a half-foot tall and 950-pound mountain of muscle. Whether it's blasting bad guys with torrents of energized oil, engulfing them in a horrendous blizzard or crushing through concrete walls, the Oiler is one devastating Guardian.

Yerp.

Here's a bad one:

Silver Surfer Surf Board.....Also, sweet Mohawk bro. And here's his bio....:

'The Lightning' is a man of action, he is brazen and cocky. Like the pirates who inhabited the Tampa area 200 years ago, he is impetuous and unpredictable. He's feisty and fun and he is a natural ladies man with an in-your-face bravado. He is determined to save the world from harm, and wants to look good doing it. Physically he looks like a dashing young teenager complete with an electric blue Mohawk. He wears a rubber suit, that resembles a wetsuit but far more durable, that insulates his electrical current and allows him to walk amongst others without burning them to a crisp.

He can move at the speed of lightning and can travel from place to place using power lines or any electrical current. At a moment’s notice he can summon lightning from the sky and harness its devastating energy. He can focus electric lightning blasts from his fingertips and his internal electrical charge could light an entire blacked out city. His most devastating weapon however is what he calls his "Bolt Spear" which is essentially a highly energized lightning rod that he can create in the palm of his hand.

And here's the plagiarized one. Cyclops. I Mean the Penguin. Why even? I mean, I guess Stan Lee can plagiarize his own creation, but.....but....Um. Here's his bio.

"The Penguin" as a character mirrors the recent history of the city of Pittsburgh. He was raised the son of a steel worker and he grew up watching his dad work in the steel mills. The toughness and gritty determination to provide left an indelible imprint on him.

However, he's a visionary and he loves thinking about how to improve the world around him especially when it comes to his native Pittsburgh. He is a gifted inventor and has a love of science and innovation.

Of all the Guardians, the Penguin is the least willing to be placed into a box. He considers himself a renaissance man, able to adapt to a variety of conditions. In exterior appearance, the Penguin is an impressive looking superhero, mostly human features except for a set of Penguin like wings attached to his arms. The wings, like that of an actual Penguin, don't enable him to fly but rather they allow him to maneuver both in the air and especially at sea.

So, that's a little taste of the NHL Guardians. Now, I know what you're saying, "It's prolly just for kids, why so mad, bro?" Well, they're going to make it into some kind of huge event at the NHL All Star Game....It'll be either unintentionally hilarious, or just bad....If I'm wrong, then SWEET. That'd be awesome, to be honest. But, if you want to see the rest of the revealed so far, just venture off here:

http://www.facebook.com/theguardianproject#!/theguardianproject

Okay, so, being back at the fair University that I humbly reside at, I'm completely independent. I have to be organized, and do everything by myself. I've noticed a consider social withdraw on my half. There's plenty of reasons to attribute to that, but none worth delving into on here. However, I feel like such a growned up here. What with all the responsibility I has here. No, but seriously. Independence isn't a bad thing at all.

And finally, I'd just like to wish everyone a good new semester. You can do anything you set your mind to. But to find a little extra motivation, drink some Tropical Punch, brought to you exclusively by Wawa.

(I can't even find a picture of it....Too generic.)

Scores.