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Fantastic Formals (Smoothing the way for family picture time at your wedding)

hillary@hillaryharvey.com (Hillary Harvey) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 17:47:22 +0000

Fantastic Formals?? An oxymoron, you say? Not so!

It’s true, people tend to dread the family picture time during a wedding. It’s one of the things I hear most often. People say they don’t like to pose. People live in fear of having to keep their large families in line. But the formals don’t have to be the part of the day you get through. And they don’t have to be stiff! Let’s not even call it “formals”! Because there are certain things you and your photographer can do to make the family pictures stress-free… and even fun!

Timing is Everything

When organizing the timing for family pictures, tell the family members who will be needed that you’re starting half an hour before you really plan to be. (This is actually a great rule of thumb for every aspect when timing the wedding ceremony – the hair and makeup, the guests, even the officiant! Half an hour isn’t too long to ask people to wait, especially when they have drinks and people to talk with.) It’ll help your loved ones automatically factor in for traffic and other unforeseen delays or mishaps without compromising your wedding day schedule.

When scheduling your family pictures, find out when sunset will be at that time of year. You’ll lose your workable ambient light about half an hour before sunset, so either schedule it earlier in the day or just know that your family photos, bridal party and solo pictures will need to rely on flash for lighting.

Remember that receiving lines add time. If you have 150 guests, it may take half an hour or more to greet them all as they exit the ceremony site. Build that time into your schedule. If you’re doing a cocktail hour and pictures immediately after the ceremony, you might want to skip the receiving line (in favor of getting to your cocktail hour instead). In that case, you can visit the tables during the reception.

Make time for solo portraits with your new spouse after the ceremony. Beforehand, you may be nervous and have a lot on your mind. But afterwards, you can relax together, which will make better photos. The more time you leave, the more fun you can have with it. You neverk now, it might be the only 15 minutes “alone” together that you get all day!

Keep it Simple

The more people you have to coordinate during family pictures, the more time-consuming it can be. Save extended family photos for the party. Assign one person in each group to be the photographer’s go-to person. Given them a list of people needed for the shot, and ask them to gather everyone up during the party. Then they can grab the photographer, the photographer can grab you, and you’re in the shot and back to your party in no time!

If you don’t want to be posing in photos all night, keep your picture list to the bare necessities. Just list groupings and combinations of people that are absolutely key. Remember, it takes 2-3 minutes per photo set-up, so 15 combinations is about 30-45 minutes.

You want to leave your photographer a little wiggle room to improvise, so s/he can jump in and capture those wonderful emotional moments between you and your family that are bound to happen. That’s the stuff you really want!

Be Inspired

One thing I love to include in my wedding photography packages is a site viewing. Just like it sounds, the couple and photographer meet at the wedding venue for a tour prior to the big day. If the photographer hasn’t been there before, s/he can get to know the grounds and scout out good picture spots. And even if s/he has been there a hundred times, the site viewing allows the photographer and couple to chat about the logistics of location and timing away from the pressure of the wedding day, so everyone knows the game plan ahead of time. (Of course, the plan can sometimes go out the window on the actual day, depending on what’s going on.)

A site viewing allows the photographer and couple to learn more about each other’s aesthetic and vision, so the photographer is in a better position to make those shots that you will always cherish.

If you’re the kind of person who is haunting wedding planning sites and blogs (like this one!), then you might want a photographer who will consider you a collaborator. Share your ideas, send him/her pictures you’re drawn to and let him/her in on the personal details about your love story and family that can add to your pictures of the day. A collaborator-photographer will consider your ideas and aesthetic, allowing it to inspire him/her to make truly personal photos for you. But remember that your photographer is a professional and knows what will work or won’t, given the lighting, backdrop and timing of the day. It’s not always possible to recreate a photo, and sometimes the best pictures are the ones that weren’t planned or expected. As with everything having to do with your wedding day, make your preparations, and then let whatever happens happen. If you can let go of needing to be in control once the day has started and can trust your vendors to do their thing – the thing you hired them to do for you - everyone will be able to get into a good groove, and you’ll have a lot more fun!

When you’re well-prepared, organized and inspired, your family photos can be a fun part of your party – a moment to celebrate the emotions of the day with your very close family and friends. And in 20 years, when your family make-up is bound to have changed, you’ll be so glad you took the time to make those pictures!

Hillary Harvey is a freelance photographer specializing in wedding photojournalism. Though born in Brooklyn to a long line of Brooklynites, she is a tried-and-true valley girl, having lived most of her life in the Hudson Valley. She also lives online, so catch up with her there!

Bridesmaid 101: 10 Ways to Rock Your Bride’s Socks Off

breanna.gunn@gmail.com (Jill Tooley) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 00:29:48 +0000

As a bridesmaid, you don’t have as many responsibilities as the Maid of Honor. But that doesn’t mean you get to sit back and let everyone else do all the work, either! Bridesmaids should always show a genuine interest in the wedding and in the bride’s needs, and they should also be respectful of upcoming deadlines. It’s no cakewalk!

Here are 10 things you can do, as a bridesmaid, to lend a hand for the wedding:

Ask questions

It’s best to get questions cleared up right away. Is the chosen bridesmaid dress style/color a mystery to you? Find out. Are you curious which groomsman you’ll walk with? Ask. Heck, even if you’re unsure of where or when the wedding is, then ask. You need to know these things!

Don’t get overzealous

It’s fine to plan ahead and ask to help out with the bride’s wedding decisions, but don’t step on anyone’s toes while doing so. If you have a stellar suggestion, then bring it up to the bride (or the Maid of Honor) before carrying it out.

Keep your criticisms to a minimum

Do you hate the venue? Are you disappointed that you have to wear that shade of purple? Don’t freely offer your negative opinions or complain about decisions that have already been made. Remember, it’s HER wedding, not yours.

Bond with the MOH

The Maid of Honor is instrumental in any wedding planning – she takes care of business and stays up to date with goings-on. Get to know her sooner rather than later and you’ll feel more “in the loop.”

Do your research

It never hurts to study bridesmaid tasks, even if you think you’ve got a solid grasp. A better informed bridesmaid is a more effective (and conscientious) bridesmaid!

Know all the facts

You should know about the dress you’ll wear, the procession order, the color scheme, the times of important events, and anything else that affects your performance at the wedding. Refer to #1 and ask plenty of questions if you need help.

Don’t miss a deadline or appointment

Nothing’s worse than a bridesmaid who half-asses everything! If you want to be a part of the wedding, then act like it. That means buy your dress and shoes on time, show up to fittings and other appointments, and be ready to roll when you arrive.

Always be reachable

You’re making things more difficult for the bride when you don’t respond to her texts, phone calls, or emails. She should be able to reach you to ask questions or give you updates, and she won’t be able to do that if you constantly ignore her.

Be professional

You’re an extension of the couple when you’re in the wedding party – whether you like it or not. Don’t swear like a sailor, say rude things to the guests, or act in a sloppy manner when you’re in view/earshot of an audience. This goes for the reception, too.

Support, support, support!

The best thing you can do for the bride is to support her throughout the wedding planning process. Be a shoulder to cry on when she needs it, and don’t give her more work than she already has by being difficult.

If you honestly care about the bride and the wedding, then it shouldn’t be a tough task to follow through with any of these tips. Being a bridesmaid is more than putting on a dress and smiling for the camera! The lucky couple will love you even more if you do your absolute best in all aspects. And above all else, don’t lose sight of why you were chosen as a member of the bridal party. Your cooperation is needed and appreciated – always. So get to it!

Do you have any concerns about being a bridesmaid? Are there any more tidbits you’d like to offer for seamless wedding plans?

In addition to being a Maid of Honor veteran, Jill Tooley is Head of Content and Social Media at Quality Logo Products, where you can snag the coolest wedding favors and personalized items. Connect with Jill on her company’s promo blog for more handy tips!

First Comes Love, Then Comes… Pregnancy Boudoir?

hillary@hillaryharvey.com (Hillary Harvey) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 18:37:13 +0000

Weddings are often like that schoolyard song - there’s a sequence to them. And with the average age of wedding couples creeping closer to 30, many times the newlyweds are hot to start a family right away. So perhaps a natural next thing to think about trying is a little prego boudoir. It makes a great anniversary gift!

Making the Most of your Pregnancy Shoot

Timing is key to a great pregnancy photo shoot. The best time to do a shoot is when you are big enough to be sporting a nice, recognizable bump, but not so close to your due date that you’re not feeling as physically comfortable or, worse, miss the shoot if the baby arrives early. Different body types, family histories and the way a woman carries the baby in her body (more internally, lower, higher, etc.) dictates how her body will look and react during pregnancy. Even the same woman with multiple pregnancies might find each one of them very different from the next. So this is a generalization that should be considered with a grain og salt: sometime between 7 and 8 months of pregnancy is often ideal for photos of the sexy mama.

If you’re doing your pregnancy shoot on location at your home, schedule it for a time of day when the natural light is brightest ot hitting the windows. That’ll give your photographer more to work with, and give you softer, less commercial-feeling pictures.

Talk to your photographer ahead of time about his/her vision for the shoot. You might even do some website research on other photographers’ blogs and websites or on sites devoted to pregnancy and parenting. You can share with your photographer the images that appeal to you and get ideas for poses you might want to try. Starting the collaboration with your photographer ahead of time will help you both to prepare, as well as start a rapport to build on at the shoot.

What to Wear and Prepare

When doing a photo shoot at your house, it’s helpful to straighten up first, especially in spaces that have good light. Have some cozy couches and your bed prepped for pictures, as well as anywhere near a window, by minimizing clutter around them, arranging pillows and blankets, and hiding unnecessary elements away. With just a few areas tidied, even, you can jump in and out of the various backgrounds with minimal setup. This ability to flow will mean more relaxed, fun photos.

Set out a bunch of scarves, blankets and clothes with drape and texture (but downplay the patterns) that you can play with. Wear form-fitting clothing in solid colors or black to show off your shape and help you look slim, and have your favorite lingerie or bathing suits at the ready for when you feel warmed up. Most of all, choose things to wear that make you feel comfortable and sexy.

Are the Kids All Right?

This might be your second or third pregnancy, or perhaps your partner has a child from a previous relationship. Or maybe you’re less inclined to do a secret boudoir pregnancy shoot and just want some nice portraits. Whatever the case, it’s good to consider ahead of time whether or not you want to include the whole family in the shoot. If so, the shoot might function more like the formals on your wedding day, with a variety of shots taken – people in different combinations, you alone, portraits, body shots, boudoir. You can do it all, and probably in just an hour or two!

When it’s the kids’ turn, remember that they will respond to your attitude. Depending upon the ages of the children, they might be more or less pose-able. If you can, keep your stress level and expectations low, and help them to see the shoot as a fun family event or game. Let kids wander in and out of picture time, and have something ready to keep them busy while you do some photos alone with the photographer. Don’t worry, a pro photographer will be able to grab some great shots with the kids even within a limited or intermittent timeframe.

Maybe you don’t feel as sexy and lovely as you usually do, but pregnancy is a really special time. When the baby comes, you’ll realize how amazing it all was and how fleeting. It’s so great to look back on your body’s shape with baby and a pro photog will know how to capture your best form. Who knows? You may even come away from the experience feeling gorgeous and powerful.

So go ahead and gift it to the one who will always share this new little love with you.

Photos in this post with the e logo are by Ellie Leonardsmith.

Word to the Bride

benedets@gmail.com (Hillary Harvey) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:45:32 +0000

When I was planning my wedding (years and years ago), I wanted the process to be really fun. I wanted it and all the decisions my then-fiance and I were making to reflect our excitement about our future together. Unfortunately, I found myself too easily overwhelmed by all the details involved. I’d only been to two very non-traditional weddings at that point, so my own wedding was essentially the first wedding I’d ever attended!

One of the biggest surprises to me was the expectations involved with weddings: that my husband and I had but hadn’t known about, that our families and friends had for us, and that just seemed to generally be in the air when I mentioned that I was engaged. My husband and I had never hosted such a big event before that, and it was daunting to juggle all the elements.

But in the end, there were some lovely surprises, too. I am not one who enjoys the spotlight, and my family isn’t religious so the thought of my wedding ceremony, itself, sent me into a total state of panic and sleeplessness during our planning. But on the day, the ceremony ended up being my most favorite part. My husband and I chose really inspiring readings that I still think about from time to time, as well as meaningful music. We wrote our own vows, and I was so blissed out at saying and hearing them. I always tell people now that I could have stayed at my wedding ceremony all day, just gazing at my handsome new husband.

Thinking about all of my own ups and downs in my wedding planning, I recently asked several clients if they’d like to share what they’d learned from their weddings. Here’s what they had to say…

Keep it Simple

Bigger is not necessarily better when it comes to wedding parties. I would think twice about having 12 people in the party: too many personalities to deal with and keep track of. I would NOT let them keep their own cameras on them during the formal pictures. Let the photographer do their job, and then they can go and do their own thing. I also would have had my father stick around while dealing with the party so someone else besides me could try to get them to be where they needed to be for pictures and cooperate. – Laurie, married April 2009

Choose Vendors You Can Trust

We had made playlists for reception and dinner music that our DJ played, but they had asked us if they could use their own music for dancing/fun stuff. Everyone still talks about what a fun party that it turned into - everyone was dancing and having a great time. The music matters!! – Christina, married June 2010

Prioritize Your Budget

I knew it would be expensive, but I was floored at how it all adds up. We prioritized on what was most important for us and put our money towards it. In our case, it was having as many guests attend as possible. The inspirational sculpture, Opus 40, in Saugerties, NY, was an alluring venue. Its location and beauty brought all our guests together. It's cliche, but it is true. Having all these people you have known your whole life come out to witness and celebrate in your wedding is worth every penny. – Mitzie, married September 2010

Work out the big issues first, then go down to details (because there will be millions if you plan it yourself). Most important details: good music, good photographer, good food, good booze, good people - and everything will work out great! – Christina

Do It Together

The best surprise was how involved my husband was in the planning. It was a great test of communication and compromise to help prepare for marriage (which is going wonderfully!) – Christina

Through this head-banging process, we really blossomed as a couple and decided what it is, exactly, we want for our marriage; for ourselves. - Mitzie

In the end, the wedding planning process, even with all the stress, expense and overwhelm, seems a well-designed first step in creating a marriage. My husband and I had been together 5 years before we were married, but there were many things we’d never talked about before. And those conversations and compromises we made back then, almost 13 years ago now, set an important foundation for the marriage we began on our wedding day.

I hope you, too, enjoy the ride!

How to Read Minds and Make Dreams Come True as a Maid of Honor

breanna.gunn@gmail.com (Jill Tooley) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 17:27:04 +0000

Didn’t you know that Maids of Honor are supposed to be mind readers? They’re supposed to round up the rest of the bridesmaids, plan the bachelorette party and bridal shower, cater to the bride’s requests, and still find time to lay the smack down when things may not go as planned with vendors or venues. Without oodles of patience and a keen eye for detail, Maids of Honor could end up being completely lost.

The truth is, you can’t exactly read the bride’s mind no matter how determined you may be to do so. But I can get you pretty close. Here are a handful of tips I’ve learned from being a dedicated MOH!

Maid of Honor Tip #1: Do Your Research and Stay One Step Ahead

My first MOH experience gave me a crash course on the subject of wedding research – I had exactly 5 months to coordinate everything and I had no clue where to start! I scoured the internet for articles about Maid of Honor duties and temporarily flipped my lid after seeing how much had to be accomplished. However, after closer inspection, many of the articles included outdated information that my bride didn’t care to include. So, I compiled my own to-do list based on info from several different sites, specifically tailoring it to her specific needs. I ended up with a more precise list that wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as I’d expected.

Once you have that list, it’s important to prioritize those tasks and then get to work on them immediately. It’s never too early to start thinking about the bachelorette party (some venues fill up months in advance) and the bridal shower, but there will be plenty of smaller, manageable tasks to handle as well, like helping her with ideas for personalized items or suggesting bridesmaids’ shoe styles. And just think: you’ll have more time to focus on the big projects once you get the minor ones out of the way!

Even if you’ve previously been a MOH, you still have research to do. Brush up on your knowledge and you’ll be that much more efficient because of it.

Maid of Honor Tip #2: Always Communicate with the Bride and Respect Her Authority

Never assume that your wedding preferences match those of the bride! Verify everything with her first (unless it’s a secret bachelorette party or shower, in which case it would be a good idea to probe her for preferences without tipping her off) and make sure she doesn’t have anything else to add to your list.

Don’t let your personal opinions bleed into your decisions too much; remember, it’s her wedding and she’ll let you know specific things she likes or hates. It’s one thing to talk her out of a potentially disastrous decision, but don’t urge her to get a hairstyle she’s on the fence about or convince her not to get the type of cake she wants – your job is to support her, not to influence her. Trust me, these things have a way of backfiring! You do not want to get accused of ruining any details after the fact.

Maid of Honor Tip #3: Be Firm with Bridesmaids and Vendors if Needed, but Don’t Be Overly Demanding

We’ve all heard horror stories about uncooperative bridesmaids and vendors. Hopefully you’ll get lucky and end up with a group of perfectly-organized, on-the-ball individuals, but that’s incredibly rare. There are usually a couple of bad eggs in the bunch that’ll try to jeopardize your master plan. Don’t let them!

Did a bridesmaid neglect to order her dress a day before the cutoff date? Call her and stress the importance of it without accusing her of indifference. Did the bachelorette party venue get back to you with prices for an incorrect head count? Let them know they made a mistake, politely ask that they correct it, and ask them to re-send the confirmation with the new totals. Yelling and pointing the finger at people will only make them shy further away from responsibilities. Be firm while conveying the urgency of the issue but avoid unnecessary confrontation; no one will want to help you if you’re rude to them!

Extra tip: It’s always a smart idea to pad deadlines for those super slackers! If dresses have to be ordered no later than June 1^st, then tell the bridesmaids the last day is May 15^th. This gives you some leeway in sticky situations and provides some peace of mind.

Maid of Honor Tip #4: Be Attentive and Don’t Let the Bride See You Panic on the Big Day

Are you secretly freaking out because you noticed the venue failed to put out cake-cutting utensils (this happened at my own wedding and at a friend’s) or because the kitchen mixed up a few meals on the placecards? Don’t immediately go running to the bride with the news; it’ll only frazzle her and make her upset. Step up to the plate and take care of unexpected situations as best you can –while keeping her best interests in mind – and only involve the bride if absolutely necessary. Panic doesn’t exactly set the mood for having a good time, and her enjoyment is the most important of all.

Oh, and pay attention to every detail you can take in, from the setup of the reception hall to the servers’ attire and behavior. It’s your job to take care of business if there’s something lacking, because the bride will surely be distracted and overwhelmed with other things!

Maid of Honor Tip #5: Over-Prepare for the Unexpected

Emotions will be running wild once the big day finally rolls around, which means items will be forgotten. As a MOH, you’ll want to think like a responsible mom with quintuplets; that means you have to prepare yourself for every possible crisis you can imagine. Pack an overnight bag with commonly-overlooked necessities like nail polish remover, Q-tips, cotton balls, petroleum jelly, deodorant, razors, toothpaste, dental floss, nail files/clippers, lotion, tampons/pads, and shampoo/conditioner. You can even throw in extras like energy shots or bottled water. This won’t go unnoticed!

Don’t forget to eat during the whirlwind of preparation and encourage the bridal party to do the same. Snag some bagels and cream cheese, fresh fruit, and non-messy snacks for people to munch on while they’re getting ready. It’s not a good idea to skip breakfast on the wedding day…dinnertime will be a long way off!

A Maid of Honor wears dozens of hats, such as bridesmaid shepherd, party planner, and go-to problem fixer. The job may seem overwhelming at first, but it’s much more manageable when everything is split up into bite-sized tasks. The bride is counting on you, so remember to keep your cool and stay organized even when things seem chaotic!

In addition to being a Maid of Honor veteran, Jill Tooley is Head of Content and Social Media at Quality Logo Products, a leading supplier of personalized items and wedding favors. You can connect with her on Twitter and on her company’s promo blog.

Real Wedding: Fall Flare at The Grandview

breanna.gunn@gmail.com (Michele Diggelmann) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 01:03:33 +0000

Michele & Ryan

Location: The Grandview, Poughkeepsie, NY

We got married in a small, adorable Roman Catholic church in the town of Pawling (St. Johns). I picked this church because it's my church and I just absolutely LOVE it there!

Afterwards, we headed over to the Grandview in Poughkeepsie for our reception and we were speechless! The service we received was out of this world! They made my visions come true with the set up and they were right there if we needed anything. Our reception (even though I know it was our wedding!) was honestly one of the BEST Iíve ever been too! People are still raving about the view of the Hudson River and the Mid-Hudson Bridge and the FOOD! We had five stations of different foods that we picked. Each station had several different things on them. People RAVED about this because they got a little bit of everything. My thinking was that Iíve been to so many weddings were I didnít care for my dinner and youíre stuck until the cake comes out. Here you had so many choices.

Photographer: Surprise Photography

She was absolutely AMAZING (as always). We did our engagement pictures with her and Ryanís family had a family shoot with her. She does beautiful work! She is also such a sweetheart! Anthony is my 3 year-old son and I thought I was never going to get him to sit still for a picture. But Melissa to the rescue! She was outstanding and we had a blast working with her!

Entertainment: Next Generation, Mahopac, NY

It was great! People danced the whole wedding. There was never a slow down. The guys that were working for us were so much fun and so lively! They also had a great set up and a slide show of our personal pictures. Seeing pictures of us as kids and grandparents who couldnít be with us that day added a great touch to the night. [first dance, kids dancing, dancing, dancing guys, dancing guys2]

Dress: Maggie Sottero

I got it right before she discontinued making it. It was purchased at a little shop called Brides Fanatasy, which sadly is recently closed. The women there were dolls! They made my experience of finding and buying ìthe dressî everything it should be!

Shoes: Ivanka Trump

My adorable hubby purchased them for me on Zappos. They were these one-of-a-kind Ivanka Trump pumps. I say one of a kind because if you saw the pictures of them, they were the new millennium Cinderella slipper!

Jewelry

My jewelry was also purchased at Brides Fantasy. I highly recommend that if you donít buy your jewelry at the same shop, bring it with you and try it all on with your dress. It helps to bring the whole picture together.

Hairpiece

My hair piece was also purchased a Brides Fantasy. I was going sort of vintage with my look so I had (what looked like old) combs with plenty on gems. They made me feel like they were off the Titanic. My veil was purchased by surfing the internet. In stores veils can cost you almost $200. Mine cost $35, but you would've never known!

Tux: Menís Wearhouse

The boys got their tuxes from Menís Wearhouse on Rt.9 Poughkeepsie. My husband did a great job picking the styles and colors to match my girls!

Bridesmaid dresses: After Six

I got my girls to order their dresses from PerfectBridal.com. They were After Six dresses for $160. They got them in plenty of time to go wherever they wanted to get them altered. It worked out perfectly!

Cake

Our cake was supplied by The Grandview, and it was delicious! I had picked an octagon shape and supplied them with fake fall leaves that they assembled on the cake, which was chocolate, with chocolate mousse and butter cream frosting. People kept asking me if it was the real wedding cake because it looked so amazing and it was!

Flowers: DIY

For my Flowers I got silk flowers from Michaels on Rt.9. They were absolutely beautiful and we got to keep them forever!

Hair and makeup: Shara Studler

My hair and makeup was done by a good friend of ours, Shara Studler. Her husband Justin was a groomsman. She stayed overnight and we got to work at like 6 am. Why so early? Because we got married at 10am! She did an amazing job. I would have been lost without her!

Inspiration

My color and theme inspiration basically came from the season. Fall and vintage were my key words. I ìmadeî my own centerpieces. I bought cast iron pumpkins from Michaels a year in advance, and put an orange candle in them. Since I couldnít have a candle directly on top of the linen, I found brown plates and placed the pumpkins on top of them. On either side of the pumpkins I purchased mason jars and filled the bottoms with a small orange votive and orange and clear glass pebbles. Then there were a few fall leaves (fake, of course) scattered along the tables. The girlsí dresses were a beautiful orange color. It was called Clementine but it was very muted with a wide lace ivory sash. I also purchased the flower girl dresses online and they matched perfectly!

Michele's advice for future brides

I would have to say although I put a lot of time, thought and effort towards basically everything and Iím well aware that a lot of people donít have that kind of time, it was really important to me that I helped create the day. Walking into the reception area and seeing my centerpieces come to life was really special to me. I would love to do it again, but who has that kind of money?!

What would you do differently?

Since I had our son with me the morning of the wedding and both flower girls, plus my four bridesmaids, two matrons of honor, my mother, my father and my hair dresser (the lovely Shara), it was a little crazy! I definitely either would have had the kids go to a family memberís house or had a babysitter with them all morning. I love my niece, but having her crying on my dress while I was getting it laced up isnít exactly how I envisioned it! J Thatís ok. Kids are kids and they are darn cute! All in all it was a beautiful day and I couldnít have been or be happier to be Mrs. Diggelmann!

Real Wedding: Gorgeous Pops of Color at The Venetian Yacht Club

jengarry@besthudsonvalleyweddingever.com (Jennifer Garry) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 01:30:19 +0000

Katie & Steve, October 9, 2011

As cliché as it may sound, I truly have been planning my wedding ever since my first walk down the aisle as the flower girl at my parents' wedding. My dad still jokes to this day that my new husband Steve was the final missing piece to all of my wedding planning! After becoming engaged I realized it was even more fun planning a wedding with the love of your life to help (and of course a bridesmaid here and there!).

Two of my friends have had amazing weddings with unbelievable pictures, so of course my very first phone call was to Ulysses Photography. I wanted to have them shoot our wedding so bad that I called them before I even had a wedding date picked! Having already known Jenni and Ulysses from previous weddings, it was more like having our pictures taken by our friends.

Before I could book them we had to pick a venue, which ended up being The Venetian Yacht Club, which sits on the Great South Bay of Long Island. Knowing that we were going to have pictures outside with gorgeous views of the bay, we decided on an early fall wedding.

The date is also special to me because, being a John Lennon fan, I knew I’d be getting married on his birthday! Another really special touch was that we had our ceremony at St. Patrick’s Church, which is the same aisle I walked down for my parents' wedding as their flower girl.

I really wanted my wedding to not be the usual cookie-cutter wedding and instead opted for some unique touches. I never really saw myself in a big ball gown dress, and after trying on my Reem Acra Grecian-style gown it was love at first sight! I also wanted to add a little drama by wearing my navy Badgley Mischka shoes as my “something blue.”

Another place I knew I had to go to for some unique ideas was Bayview Florist. When Steve and I walked into our reception hall, we were just blown away by the centerpieces with white lilies and roses spilling out of their water and crystal filled vases.

Steve and I have been together for four years and I don’t think we have stopped laughing or having fun together since, and that was exactly what we wanted our wedding to feel like. I really feel that we made that happen with our photo booth from Ovations. They made us an album of all of the crazy pictures taken by our friends and family, and to this day it cracks us up every time we look at it.

I know my dad jokes about Steve being my last piece of the planning, but it ended up being the surprise of his entire family coming over from England, Spain and Australia. Having all our family and friends in one room celebrating with us really made our special day the most unforgettable one that we have ever had.

Vendors

Photography: Ulysses Photography

Flowers: Bayview Florist

Ceremony Location: St. Patrick's Church

Reception Location: Venetian Yacht Club

Invitations: Wedding Paper Divas

Shoes: Badgley Mischka

Bride's Dress: Reem Acra

Bridesmaids Dresses: Ivy & Ashh

Cake: Sweet Fifi

Makeup: LJ Makeup Artistry

Hair: Gina of The Hair & Makeup Studio

Real Wedding: Rustic Elegance at Onteora Mountain House

jengarry@besthudsonvalleyweddingever.com (Jennifer Garry) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:06:50 +0000

Jessica Cummings and Ashlin Halfnight, September 3, 2011

Our wedding in Woodstock was a dream come true, from start to finish. We were looking for a rustic setting, woods and sky and fresh air, but with convenience and class... somewhere people could feel relaxed but pampered. Onteora Mountain House was all that and more... and everyone who came was stunned.

Our ceremony went off without a hitch, except for the fact that our best man forgot the wedding rings... which added the perfect dash of drama to an otherwise smooth and enchanting start to the wedding day. After leaving the church with Jessica waving out of the sunroof of the getaway car, we headed back to Onteora to start the party. On the heels of Hurricane Irene, we chose the Dark and Stormy as our specialty cocktail, but as the night wore on plenty of sweat, laughs and tears were in evidence, but thankfully, no raindrops at all.

Ulysses and Jenni from Ulysses Photography were awesome, capturing the ceremony, reception, and intimate details throughout with a compassion, vision, and humor that was beyond compare. Our florists, Steven Bruce Design were so cool and chill in the lead-up, even with the added complications of power outages and road closures, and the end results were perfect and beautiful and exactly what we'd imagined. We could not have asked for a better day to celebrate our love.

Vendors:

Photography: Ulysses Photography
Flowers: Steven Bruce Design
Caterer: Blue Mountain Bistro
Location: Onteora Mountain House
Stationery: Minted
Dress: Jim Hjelm
Bridesmaids dresses: After Six
Music: Boss Systems
Hair: Courtney Benedetti
Makeup: Jennifer McCarthy

Shoesday: Funky Wedding Shoes

jengarry@besthudsonvalleyweddingever.com (Brea Gunn) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:02:29 +0000

Happy Shoesday, everyone! Did you have a fabulous weekend? I saw quite a few friends, and one of my dear, dear friends was wearing shoes that were just about as fun and funky as mine.

See, shoes with some spunk and creativity always make me smile.

They’re a great way to show off your personality in small doses. I like small doses of fun and funky, especially for an important and elegant ocassion such as your wedding.

It’s important to make a style statement on your big day, and these shoes definitely do not lack in personality.

From top left: Poetic Licence Charm School Pump, Poetic Licence Love Letter Pump,
Poetic LicenceSpectacle Pump, Poetic Licence Date Night Pump

How to Wear Funky Wedding Shoes

The best advice I can give about exactly how to pull off the perfect pair of funky pumps is to do it with gusto. Yes, I just used the word gusto.

Enjoy the moment, and be proud of your unique style and fun shoes. I think that shoes should be all about fun (it does help if they’re functional, but that can be ignored if they’re spectcular).

From top left: Poetic Licence Exclusive Delight Sandal, Poetic Licence Girl’s Best Friend Pump,
Poetic Licence All Tied Up Pump, Poetic Licence Feel The Rhythm Pump

I love bright colors, especially for shoes. Can you tell? There’s just something so bright and happy when you’re wearing fantastically over-the-top shoes. The best part? (at least for me) You can rewear any of these styles, which makes them multi-functional (a huge win in my book!).

From top left: Poetic Licence Dance All Night Pump, Poetic Licence Birdcage Pump,
Poetic Licence Tempt Me Bootie, Poetic LicenceGlamming Up Pump

Don’t you just love the bright colors and little details?

Brea Gunn is a blogger and writer living in Houston, TX with her husband and son. When she's not hyperventilating as a result of chasing her son, Smalls, you will find her immersed in any one of her writing projects. Her current obsessions include shoes of any kind, healthy eating, fashion, and sewing. According to her husband, she is very opinionated. Brea doesn't always agree with him.

Rethinking Boutonnieres

jengarry@besthudsonvalleyweddingever.com (Jennifer Garry) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 17:15:08 +0000

I’m kind of bored of boutonnieres. I mean, I get it. Give the boys something to make them feel special and stand out a little in the sea of suits. But most boutonnieres are just a flower (usually a rose) and maybe (if you’re feeling wild!) a little sprig of baby’s breath. Booooring.

Why hasn’t the DIY trend or the attention to personalizing one’s wedding jumped on boutonnieres yet? There’s so much potential for fun or even sentimental touches. And let’s face it, the guys’ looks are usually pretty straightforward. Why not give your groom a little room to let his personality shine?

From more traditional dried flowers and feathers to whimsical and quirky pieces, there are so many more options than your run-of-the-mill rose.

1 Surroundings // 2 Pixel and Hank // 3 Fritts Rosenow // 4 The Kookie Kutter // 5 Flora Organica Designs
6 Pomp and Plumage // 7 A Simple Start // 8 The Sunflower Stand // 9 Surroundings

Isn't that better than the usual suspects? Even the most traditional pieces shown here have a little twist on what we usually see. The key is, tailor it to you and your hubby. Don't just go with a rose because that's what everyone says a boutonniere should be.

It's your wedding. It can be whatever you want it to be!

Jennifer Garry is a writer (with a sparkly new blog!) who lives in Westchester, NY with her husband and two daughters. When she's not up to her ears in kiddie crafts and spit up, she's plotting her next move (children's book? event planning? jewelry empire?). Her obsessions include tea, chocolate, sarcasm and her daughters' giggles—any of which can be used to coax her from whatever project she's currently engrossed in.

"WTF is a Bridal Gift? Do I Need One?"

Mon, 01 Aug 2011 04:00:00 +0000

A reader writes in the forums:

"I was just informed this weekend that I need to get a wedding-day gift for my fiancee.

"This was news to me, and I thought I was pretty well-informed about such things. Of course, this leads to a flurry of new questions.

"How long has this "tradition" been around, an [...]

How to: Deal with a Best Man Dropping the Ball

Wed, 25 May 2011 04:00:00 +0000

A reader writes: "We're getting married on a cruise ship. We gave everyone almost a year's notice. About 15 people from her side, and my mom and dad will be attending the ceremony/reception on the boat before we set sail for our honeymoon. "None of my wedding party has agreed to come, some because they can [...]

She Forbids Strippers. What Do You Do?

Wed, 18 May 2011 04:00:00 +0000

A reader writes:

"Okay I want a bachelor party......and my girl doesn't care if I have one. I was thinking of going to the strip club with the fellas having a couple of drinks, going home and playing cards/X-box 360/ Bones (dominoes).....the works ya know?

"But my girl has a problem with the strip club.....and str [...]

No Sex in Engagement: Should They Call it Off?

Fri, 15 Apr 2011 04:00:00 +0000

A female reader writes:

"i found this site and i think its WONDERFUL. i love reading things from the man's point of view, but now i need a LOT of help.

"My fiance and i started dating almost 2 years ago and we would have sex a few times a week-perfect for me. then after 2 months of dating he left for a deployment (he's in th [...]

Tips for Deciding on a Florist and Spring Wedding Flowers

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 13:59:40 +0000

Deciding on a florist is one of the last things that you do in the wedding planning process, after you have chosen your venue, your caterer, your overall theme, your bridesmaids’ dresses, and of course, your color palette. Spring wedding flowers present you with a lot of opportunities to be creative and work with a wide range of color palettes. Here are a few steps to take to ensure that you love your spring wedding bouquet:

Before you decide on your florist, it is important to see a portfolio of his or her work. Also, you absolutely need to have personal recommendations from clients whose weddings they have done. In a recent Colorado wedding during spring, the bride hired a group of florists who were excellent designers, had amazing ability to create gorgeous arrangements, and who had a lot of artistic flair. However, these florists did not have experience with large-scale events (having done a few weddings, but not any with over 50 people); in the end, they did not calculate enough time to finish everything they had promised to deliver. The two main arrangements for the ceremony arrived after it was over, and the bridal party did not have their corsages and bouquets for the photographs (which were taken before the ceremony). Another bride who recently got married in California had a similar situation: Guests were arriving and there were absolutely no centerpieces on any of the tables. These things should be finished at least an hour before guests arrive, if not sooner. Make sure that whoever you hire as your florist understands the timing and technicality of working with a living organism, and has a few backup plans if anything goes wrong.

Consider spring wedding flowers by season, including tulips, daffodils, calla lilies, magnolias, easter lilies, gardenias, hydrangeas, gerbera daisies, and apple or cherry blossoms. You will save a lot of money if you are open to using spring wedding flowers that are readily available.

Consider your color palette. If you are getting married in a garden setting, for example, green and white, or yellow and green, are always lovely color combinations. You can always choose bright, more vibrant colors (but paired with something sleek) such as hot pink with black or lime green with black, with accents of white. For an earthier feel, consider using chocolate brown with blue, pink, or lavender.

Your containers can also be very creative and unusual. Consider using objects like pots, urns, watering cans, teapots, weaved baskets, or wicker baskets painted in colors from your palette.

Add greenery wherever you can. One benefits of a spring wedding, especially if it is outdoors, is that you already have a wealth of greenery that naturally adds to your setting. However, if you are getting married indoors, drape ivy or arbors over areas like mantels or doorways.

If you want add a bit of whimsy and fun, try adding some different patterns, such as polka dots, gingham, lace, or even stripes. Depending on the formality of your venue, patterns like this may not work, but if you are getting married outdoors, these types of accents can be adorable.

Read more:

Honeymooning in Portland, Oregon

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 13:44:40 +0000

Though many people think beaches, white sand, and tropical weather for a honeymoon, you may be more of a city person with a love of bookstores, shopping, coffee, microbreweries, restaurants, and interesting people. If that is the case, consider going to Portland, Oregon. One bride and groom who recently went there on their honeymoon (as a last-minute decision because airfares were excellent) said that Portland by far exceeded their expectations. Here are a few reasons that Portland is one of the most unforgettable honeymoons:

The charming and inviting downtown area is filled with parks, fountains, hotels (some offer excellent honeymoon packages), shops, museums, and restaurants, and it has a mix of new and historic buildings. Portland is also extremely clean, and is known for being one of the “greenest” cities in the United States. You can ride the MAX, the Portland street car, for free here, as it is part of the Tri-Met’s Fareless Square route.

For a day trip, a drive to the Wilamette Valley is one of the most gorgeous honeymoon ideas because it has some of the most beautiful scenery in the Pacific Northwest. It is the heart of Oregon’s agricultural economy. There are also quite a few wineries and lodges, perfect for unforgettable honeymoons and extra romance. The Oregon coastline is also not far away.

If you are interested in Victorian architecture, Nob Hill (Northwest 23rd Avenue) is filled with cafes, restaurants, galleries and boutiques. It has been fashionable since the 1880s.

Read more:

Designer Wedding Shoes: Can They Be Comfortable?

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 17:13:10 +0000

In a recent wedding, the bride decided to wear high heels for her entire wedding. They were high-quality, leather, designer wedding shoes. Although they were comfortable for a few hours during pictures, by the end of the night, she was in the worst foot pain. It took almost a week for her feet to recover. Here are some tips on choosing comfortable wedding shoes and how to prevent foot pain:

Some brides opt for flat wedding shoes, or shoes that have only a slight kitten heel. These tend to be a lot more comfortable, but remember that you will be on your feet pretty much the entire day, so a certain amount of foot pain is normal and expected.

A lot of bridal salons sell shoes specifically for weddings, but many of them are extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes it is better to go with designer wedding shoes purchased at a department store, or by a brand that you have worn before and know to be fairly comfortable. Remember that you do not have to choose white or ivory shoes to match your dress. You could wear a soft pink, silver, bronze, or even chocolate brown or black depending on the nature of your dress.

If you choose to go with heels, you can have a back-up plan by bringing a pair of flat ballet shoes to dance in. If it makes you a difference between you dancing and you sitting down in pain at your own wedding, then definitely change shoes. Just make sure that you take this into account when you get your dress hemmed, as you do not want it dragging too much (or be tripping over it!).

Read more:

Trends for Spring Bridal Dresses

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 15:17:33 +0000

One of the major trends the bridal gown industry is moving toward is the soft, sleek, goddess-like silhouette. You are going to be seeing much less unnecessary fabric and beading and a lot more simplicity and understated elegance. For spring bridal dresses, this is especially appropriate, as spring connotes a “light and airy" feel. Here are a few key trends for spring bridal gowns:

Bridal dresses that are one-shoulder, or off the shoulder, are extremely popular. The one-shoulder trend is perfect for brides who do not want to go strapless, (it seems at least 90% of all the brides we see opt for a strapless dress!), but who love that strapless dresses are flattering to the upper body. With a one-shoulder dress, you can have the best of both worlds. Also, it is a classic look that is always in style.

Another trend for spring bridal dresses is the short dress. Depending on how formal your venue is, short wedding dresses can be chic, elegant, and a bit more unique than floor-length gowns. Some brides actually look better in short skirted wedding gowns than in longer ones; it just depends on your style and body type. Just make sure that to choose a design that flatters you.

Lastly, bridal fashion is moving away from the huge ball gowns. You do want to feel like a princess, but remember: this isn’t prom. Also, less fabric can be more flattering, more elegant, and definitely more in style.

Read more:

Tips on Choosing Spring Honeymoon Destinations

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 17:07:32 +0000

If you are wondering where to go during the months of March through May, here are a few important things to keep in mind when choosing spring honeymoon destinations:

Make sure to check that college’s spring break does not coincide with your honeymoon. Flights are often packed during these weeks, and certain honeymoon spots-such as Jamaica, the Caribbean, resort areas of Mexico, or the Dominican Republican-are going to be filled with a lot of college kids getting rowdy and drunk. If you do not want a “booze-cruise” feel to your honeymoon, try to avoid traveling on spring break, even if this means postponing your honeymoon by a couple of weeks.

Europe is a great for spring honeymoon destinations, especially as this is presumably before hoards of tourists arrive during the summer. You may be cutting it a bit close to a busier season in May, but April is especially safe for avoiding crowds. Remember that in certain European cities, the weather may be a bit precarious, and it is often still a bit chilly. However, you will not run out of things to do and see in most European cities.

Hawaii is always an excellent choice in the spring. Any of the main islands are excellent honeymoon locations, such as Maui, Kauai, Hawaii, and Oahu. The weather is extremely pleasant, the people are friendly, and the scenery is absolutely gorgeous.

Read more:

6 Scottish Wedding Traditions

Mon, 11 Apr 2011 15:04:29 +0000

Celtic wedding customs-particularly Scottish wedding traditions-have long held us transfixed by their beautiful music, old-world charm, and thoughts of stunning, gorgeous green countryside. If you are of Scottish heritage, or if you simply gravitate toward Celtic customs, here are a few ways you can incorporate Scottish wedding traditions into your wedding day:

A grand engagement party.
Scottish people love merry making, and the thought of a wedding is the perfect reason to celebrate. The engagement party is usually held at one of the parents’ home, at a hotel or club, or sometimes at a village hall with everyone in town present.

Stag party.
On the night before the wedding, the friends of the groom throw a Stag party, an often rowdy event involving pranks. For example, there is an old custom where the groom sits in a tub of water, and his friends “wash” his feet by smearing grease, soot and ashes all over them. This good-natured custom is meant to ensure good fortune in his marriage.

Hen's night.
For the bride, the Hen’s night takes place, when she is dressed up with streamers, balloons, (and often soot and flour). She and her troop make their way through the streets for all to see. Her friends simultaneously rattle cans, whistle, ring bells, and clash pots and pans to make a ton of noise and create a spirit of rebel rousing. Sometimes, a friend will carry a chamber pot which townspeople can throw coins into. This is a great way to get some extra funds for the wedding celebration or the honeymoon.

The Loving Cup.
At a Scottish wedding, the couple takes their first celebratory drink as husband and wife from the Quaich, or Loving Cup, which is shaped as a bowl with two handles. It is passed down through the generations; the custom dates back to the 15the century. It symbolizes the two families coming together, and is supposed to bring happiness and good fortune to the couples who drink from it.

Scottish wedding music.
Bagpipes are the first thing that come to mind when thinking of Scottish music, but other musicians can also be involved, such as a fiddler, a string quartet, a piano player, or the clarsach, a small harp that is very popular in Scottish wedding ceremonies. It can be used during the ceremony or as backup music during the meal and the reception. Remember that playing the bagpipes involves a lot of energy, as the bagpipe player has to stand with the heavy instrument for sustained lengths of time. It is a good idea to have other types of music at a Scottish wedding to allow the bagpiper some breaks.

Scottish wedding toasts.
According to tradition, the father of the bride offers the first Scottish wedding blessing, which usually includes advice on how to be happy, with a personal story about the bride and groom. The groom usually gives a wedding toast, with a special thank you to his parents, to the bridal party, and to everyone who helped in preparation for the big day. The best man also makes a toast, as well as a member of the clergy. A typical sentiment that is echoed throughout the wedding blessings is this: “May the Lord keep you in His hand, and never close His fist too tight on you,' in order to wish the couple prosperity and long life.”

Read more:

Pre-Wedding Toast Jitters

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 16:41:27 +0000

Public speaking takes a lot of skill, and guts. More often then not you’ll find the maid of honor or best man at weddings with sweat on their brow, or a case of the hand shakes. When prepping for maid of honor toasts, maid of honor poems, or a best man speech, keep the following wedding toast tips for de-stressing in mind.

1. Positive Thinking: This has a bigger impact on your performance than you may be aware of. Many self-help guru’s and public speaking coaches emphasize the importance of giving yourself positive pep talks leading up to your speech. If you tell yourself that you’re going to do a great job, then chances are you actually will.

2. Talk Therapy: This is an exercise that is great for the moments leading up to your speech. This exercise entails that you ask yourself simple questions and answer them. Some of the questions you could ask are, “How am I feeling?” or “What kind of mood am I in?”. Asking and answering these questions will alleviate tension and allow you to relax before you take the microphone.

3. Connect with Your Environment: Throughout the reception, prior to your speech, make eye contact and smile with the other guests. Get to know some of the guests you haven’t met and say hi to the guests you do know. This will allow you to feel as though you know those around you, and will make you feel safe and calm.

4. Deep Breathing: This is an age-old technique that works. If you can, find a quiet space to sit and breath. If you have a difficult time breathing slowly then count to five as you inhale and then exhale. If you aren’t able to find a quiet space, then feel free to practice deep breathing in your chair as you wait to be called to the microphone.

Read more:

Wedding Garters: How to Make Your Own

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 16:29:50 +0000

The wedding garter toss was one of the first wedding traditions, and is still present at some weddings today. If you’re on the fence about having a wedding garter on your big day, then some research could help guide you toward your final decision. Knowing what a wedding garter set’s
use is, and possibly how to make it on your own could influence your decision.

If you’re a young bride, you many not be aware of the history of the garter toss, since they aren’t as prevalent amongst modern weddings as they used to be. The lace wedding garter used to be one of the most important wedding accessories and a close second to the ubiquitous bridal bouquet. There are a few wedding garter traditions, for example that it has always been worn high up on the bride’s thigh.

If you choose yes, then picking a garter that fits your size and unique style is of the utmost importance. The best way to ensure your wedding garter is exactly what you want is by making it yourself.

How does one make a wedding garter? It’s a moderately difficult task, but you’ll find that it could be worth every ounce of energy you put into it. You will need the following materials to create your very own wedding garter is a 3” wide fabric strip that is about one and a half times the circumference of your leg. You’ll also need some lace trim, elastic, a needle and thread (or a sewing machine), and any other decorative embellishments you want to include on your garter.

Next, get your thigh measurement. Figure out exactly where on your thigh you want the garter to go, and measure the circumference of your thigh in that spot.
Turn the fabric strip so that the wrong side is facing outward, then fold it length-wise in half.
Then sew the edge of the fabric, and then turn the tube of it so that the right side is facing outward.
Find the seam in the back and center it. Once the seam is flat it will face your leg so that it will be hidden once the garter is on.
Find your lace strip and sew it onto the bottom edge of the strip.
Next you’ll need to put the elastic into the tube of the fabric. If the elastic is being stubborn and won’t make it’s way all the way through then pull it out and pin a safety pin to the end of it and push it through.
Now it’s time to place the garter around your thigh and find a comfortable measurement for the elastic. Once you’ll found the perfect length, mark it and trim it.
Use either a needle and thread or a sewing machine to sew the two ends of the strip together, creating a circle. Begin with the elastic, and then move to the fabric and then lace.
The last step is to add any embellishments you would like to your garter. Some popular items include faux flowers, crystals, pearls, and bows.

Read more:

8 Reasons to Have a Small Wedding

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 16:13:31 +0000

If you’re on the fence about having a small wedding ceremony, you might like to know that there are a lot of perks to doing so. While a large and lavish wedding may seem like a dream come true, the realities that accompany such a large affair might not be worth the extra dough and energy. Explore the following reasons as to why an intimate wedding might be the best route for you.

1. Large weddings require a lot of energy and time to plan, which equals more stress. If you choose to have a small wedding, then you’re proactively cutting out unneeded stress during the planning process, as well as your wedding day.

2. Are you planning a wedding or a production? Large weddings typically have banquet captains and wedding planners behind the scenes equipped with headsets and walkie-talkies that coordinate each step in the production. Smaller weddings don’t require this type of manpower and reflect that by exuding a more personal and relaxed energy.

3. The most obvious reason to opt for a smaller wedding is because you’ll save money. Weddings, unless you go the extreme minimalist route, are expensive regardless of the size, however you’d be surprised at just how much you can save by cutting down the guest list. Every wedding guest requires an invitation, a meal, drinks, and a designated spot at your wedding; all of which comes at a cost.

4. If you have a smaller wedding, then you’ll be able to allocate more of your budget to your wedding getaways. How nice would it be to schedule a spa day a day or two prior to your wedding? Or going over seas to an exotic destination for your honeymoon instead of having to stay close to home?

5. There are countless romantic wedding destinations to choose from, but if you’re working with a small budget then you’ll most likely need to cut down your guest list in order to have your wedding at one. Destination weddings tend to be on the smaller side anyway, since a lot of wedding guests aren’t able to get away.

6. The fewer guests you have, the more time you’ll have to allocate to each guest. It’s proper wedding etiquette to visit with each guest at some point during your wedding reception and thank him or her for coming. If there are 600 guests at your wedding, then this respectful gesture becomes almost impossible.

7. If you opt to have a smaller guest list, then you can put more money into other aspects of your wedding, for example your wedding dinner. Having fewer guests could give you the opportunity to be choosey about your wedding food.

8. Fewer guests also means you’ll have more venue options to choose from. For example you could hold your wedding at a home, in a backyard, a park, vineyard, restaurant, art gallery, or perhaps an adorable bed and breakfast.

There are two (or more) sides to every aspect of your wedding planning, including the size of your guest list. The most important aspect of this decision is that you know the pro’s and con’s of each, so that you can make the right decision that fits your budget and wedding vision.

Read more:

Woman Asks: What if the Groom Just Doesn't Give a Damn?

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 04:00:00 +0000

A reader writes:

"First of all, love your website. Yep, I'm a chick, I hate wedding porn. I find it obnoxious. I love how honest this website is.

"I have a question. It's about my fiancé...I'm torn. Maybe it's just a dream of mine but I'd like to think he can have as much fun at the wedding as I can. Maybe [...]

How To: Replace a Fallen Groomsman

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 04:00:00 +0000

A reader writes:

"One of my groomsmen called me to let me know his wife's mother is seriously ill.

"Because they are taking on her bills--and taking her into their home--he will be unable to come to our wedding which is next summer.

"I have a friend who was in the running to be a groomsman but I ende [...]

What If You Don’t Have a Best Man?

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 04:00:00 +0000

A reader writes:

I am having problems finding someone to identify as a Best Man. I have a couple of close friends who I can use as Groomsmen, but I can't really see anyone as able to fill the role of Best Man.

"My former best friend and I don't talk anymore and I don't have anyone that can handle the responsib [...]

Honeymoon Sweepstakes as Wedding Gift: Brilliant or Boring?

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 04:00:00 +0000

A reader asks us:

"What do you guys think about honeymoon sweepstakes? Any tips or ideas? Any sweepstakes?

I know your advice on this is that this isn't going to be our best vacation ever, but I'm seriously wanting to get the heck out of dodge and the only way we can afford it... would most likely be through a sweepstakes of som [...]

How to "Speed Plan" Your Wedding

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 04:00:00 +0000

A reader writes:

"Yes, I'm a woman (gasp!) and you didn't scare me away. Nice try.

"It's like this: Neither my fiance or myself really care about the wedding or wedding planning. We both care about marrying each other and that's it. I know I want some kind of wedding, but planning is like pulling teeth. I don't give a f [...]

The Plunge Hits the Morning Talk Shows to Talk Relationships, Platinum Rings

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 04:00:00 +0000

We've made no secret about our preference for Platinum. When you're buying a ring--whether for her or for you--it's the safer choice, the longer-lasting choice, the better-investment choice.

So in the past couple of months, Plunge editor (Jeff Wilser) and fellow relationship expert Andrea Syrtash hit the media waves to discuss relationships, prop [...]

Jealous of Her Sexual Past? This Dude Is. What Should He Do?

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 04:00:00 +0000

In the Plunge Forums, a reader writes:

"I'm the guy that was never popular in high school, doesn't have many friends, and was never given the time of day until college started. I'm 21 years old now, as is my fiancée.

"She was the girl that everybody wanted al [...]

What Does "STD" Mean? Wedding Abbreviations, Decoded

Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:00:00 +0000

You might not know it, but your fiancée has just picked up a foreign language.

Over at all the "wedding forums," the brides use a confusing, jumbled system of abbreviations that would, we suspect, impress the sonar-encryption-scientists from World War II.

Every now and then, it's possible that she might slip th [...]

The Plunge Unleashes 50--Yes, 50--New Year's Resolutions for Men

Tue, 28 Dec 2010 04:00:00 +0000

We hate New Year's Resolutions. They strike us as cheesy and obvious and trite. And a little arbitrary, no? Why not March 17th Resolutions or St. Patrick's Day Resolutions? After all, you're pretty much the same dude on January 1st as you were on December 31st, just a little older, a little poorer, and a billion times more hung over. Not much changes. In a sense [...]

10 (Less-Obvious) Date Ideas to Augment Dinner and Drinks

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 04:00:00 +0000

What do you do for a date? Or, more specifically, what do you do when the obvious stuff runs dry?

Let's look at the classic date pattern:

1st date: Drinks.
2nd date: Drinks.
3rd date: Dinner + Drinks + Sex.
....
10th date and beyond: Sex.

The trick, therefore, is that awkward middle ground between the 3r [...]

What to Do if: Your Parents Don’t Approve of Her

Mon, 06 Dec 2010 04:00:00 +0000

Plunge reader Ryanh007 posts in the forums:

"You meet girl. You fall in love with girl. You want to marry girl. What do you do if your family doesn't like her? This isn't the irrational "Nobody is good enough for my boy" dislike, its the irrational "Her family isn't [...]

The Wedding Booze Bible: Everything You Need to Know

Wed, 24 Nov 2010 04:00:00 +0000

Alcohol is the lifeblood of your reception. You could blow $40,000 on ice sculptures, a coveted venue, and flowers coming out the officiant's ass, but if you run out of booze, suddenly the party craters at 8pm and everyone leaves unsatisfied.

So. While we typically recommend a "big picture" approach to wedding planning [...]

Will Your Wife Stay Hot When You Get Old?

Wed, 17 Nov 2010 04:00:00 +0000

In most areas of life, my talents are modest. I'm not a particularly great athlete, chess player, or flutist. I can't whistle.

One thing that at The Plunge that we're quite excellent at, however, is pissing people off.

Latest example? In our piece The 10 Dumbest Reasons to Get Married, we wrote the following:

& [...]

If Parents Are Paying, Do You Control Guest List?

Mon, 08 Nov 2010 04:00:00 +0000

A reader writes:

"My fiancee's mother is very involved with our planning, which at times is not a problem at all. However, we are almost 50 people over what we had wanted to invite for our wedding.

"Her mom keeps insisting that we invite her cousins' son (who my bride-to-be has never met), and refuses to back d [...]

Should You Give Up Alcohol for Your Woman?

Mon, 01 Nov 2010 04:00:00 +0000

Some serious stuff in today's mailbag.

From a reader:

"I am in the military and my significant other and I have spent little time together. I was stationed away from the home town, where she lives, and saw her seldomly. I drank on the weekends or whenever I didn't have to work. Now I am deployed and when I return home, she [...]

Some Contrarian Advice: Do NOT Engrave

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 04:00:00 +0000

A reader writes:

"I have 7 Groomsmen.

I was thinking of buying a bottle of Mccallan 15 Year Scotch($65) and engraving my name, my fiance's name, and our wedding date on it? Any thoughts?"

We're reasonably confident that every wedding publication in history would love your idea. They would say, YES, go for it, engrave it, t [...]

Get Married | Wedding Guide | How To | Advice

Fantastic Formals (Smoothing the way for family picture time at your wedding)

Timing is Everything

Keep it Simple

You want to leave your photographer a little wiggle room to improvise, so s/he can jump in and capture those wonderful emotional moments between you and your family that are bound to happen. That’s the stuff you really want!

Be Inspired

A site viewing allows the photographer and couple to learn more about each other’s aesthetic and vision, so the photographer is in a better position to make those shots that you will always cherish.

Bridesmaid 101: 10 Ways to Rock Your Bride’s Socks Off

Ask questions

Don’t get overzealous

Keep your criticisms to a minimum

Bond with the MOH

Do your research

Know all the facts

Don’t miss a deadline or appointment

Always be reachable

Be professional

Support, support, support!

First Comes Love, Then Comes… Pregnancy Boudoir?

Making the Most of your Pregnancy Shoot

What to Wear and Prepare

Are the Kids All Right?

So go ahead and gift it to the one who will always share this new little love with you.

Word to the Bride

Keep it Simple

Choose Vendors You Can Trust

Prioritize Your Budget

Do It Together

How to Read Minds and Make Dreams Come True as a Maid of Honor

Maid of Honor Tip #1: Do Your Research and Stay One Step Ahead

Maid of Honor Tip #2: Always Communicate with the Bride and Respect Her Authority

Maid of Honor Tip #3: Be Firm with Bridesmaids and Vendors if Needed, but Don’t Be Overly Demanding

Maid of Honor Tip #4: Be Attentive and Don’t Let the Bride See You Panic on the Big Day

Maid of Honor Tip #5: Over-Prepare for the Unexpected

Real Wedding: Fall Flare at The Grandview

Michele & Ryan

Location: The Grandview, Poughkeepsie, NY

Photographer: Surprise Photography

Entertainment: Next Generation, Mahopac, NY

Dress: Maggie Sottero

Shoes: Ivanka Trump

Jewelry

Hairpiece

Tux: Menís Wearhouse

Bridesmaid dresses: After Six

Cake

Flowers: DIY

Hair and makeup: Shara Studler

Inspiration

Michele's advice for future brides

What would you do differently?

Real Wedding: Gorgeous Pops of Color at The Venetian Yacht Club

Katie & Steve, October 9, 2011

Vendors

Real Wedding: Rustic Elegance at Onteora Mountain House

Jessica Cummings and Ashlin Halfnight, September 3, 2011

Vendors:

Shoesday: Funky Wedding Shoes

How to Wear Funky Wedding Shoes

Rethinking Boutonnieres

"WTF is a Bridal Gift? Do I Need One?"

How to: Deal with a Best Man Dropping the Ball

She Forbids Strippers. What Do You Do?

No Sex in Engagement: Should They Call it Off?

Tips for Deciding on a Florist and Spring Wedding Flowers

Honeymooning in Portland, Oregon

Designer Wedding Shoes: Can They Be Comfortable?

Trends for Spring Bridal Dresses

Tips on Choosing Spring Honeymoon Destinations

Top 8 Wedding Gift Etiquette Questions and Answers

6 Scottish Wedding Traditions

Pre-Wedding Toast Jitters

Wedding Garters: How to Make Your Own

8 Reasons to Have a Small Wedding

Woman Asks: What if the Groom Just Doesn't Give a Damn?

How To: Replace a Fallen Groomsman

What If You Don’t Have a Best Man?

Honeymoon Sweepstakes as Wedding Gift: Brilliant or Boring?

How to "Speed Plan" Your Wedding

The Plunge Hits the Morning Talk Shows to Talk Relationships, Platinum Rings