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How much do divorce lawyers cost?

yuming — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 09:51:07 +0000

We’ve discussed how to keep your divorce fees down in our previous post, so we’re going to delve deeper into how much matrimonial lawyers charge. Knowing the pricing structure could help you decide on how to save some more dollars, or rather, lessen the financial casualty the breakdown of your marriage caused.

Most lawyers bill you by the hour, so if they charge $200 per hour, it will cost you $2,000 for 10 hours.

But most full-service lawyers would want some payment upfront, and this is called a retainer. This amount varies from firm to firm and from state to state, but to give you a very rough idea, lawyers in the New York City area charge $10,000 to $20,000 for a retainer. That’s just getting started so if you have a long and complicated case, it will truly cost you thousands of dollars.

After you pay the retainer, your lawyer will subtract the hourly rate until the case is over or when the retainer amount is depleted. You could either sign another retainer or just pay your lawyer by the hour that is billed to you weekly or monthly.

Will my lawyer try to milk more money by prolonging my case?

Ethically lawyers are not supposed to do this and it could be to their detriment if they did so. By dragging out a case, they put themselves at risk if the client is unable to pay such a big bill. Whatever doesn’t get paid is written off and, in effect, reduces a lawyer’s hourly rate going forward. There are rules in place, so don’t worry. In fact, there are incentives for lawyers to finish their work within the amount of time covered by the retainer so they get their full hourly rate.

How much time is needed to close a divorce case?

It is hard to predict how much time will be needed, so you can calculate how much money you need to set aside. The retainer is a very rough ballpark and optimistic figure.

If you have a fairly straightforward divorce where you and your ex agree on all issues, the lawyer only needs to draft the legal documents, make sure you understand them, get them to your ex-spouse’s lawyer, and then, submit them to the court. If you or your spouse clash over many issues, then you should expect a very huge bill as negotiation will take up a lot of your lawyer’s time.

What should be in the retainer agreement?

In any retainer, there should be clause that says the firm will return you a refund if the fees are not used up.

The agreement should also state what happens when the retainer is used up — is another lump sum required or will you be billed on a monthly basis?

Like any legitimate contract, you should be able to bring it home to read all the fine print before signing it.

You should be invited to call and ask any questions you have. As eager as you might be to sign the retainer and write out a check, hold back until you read the agreement and thoroughly understand what it says.

What should you look out for in the fine print?

Your agreement should not only flesh out your lawyer’s hourly rate but also others who may assist in your case, like junior lawyers and paralegals.

Your retainer should also outline what other expenses will be incurred, such as photocopying, courier services, and court fees to name a few. You should take note if these bills be deducted from the retainer or treated separately.

Also, look for a clause that tells you how you will be kept informed of the bill as the retainer dwindles.

Do watch out for any lawyer who demands that you put up assets or your house as collateral in the event you cannot pay the bill. Don’t give up something you can’t afford to lose.

How to keep your legal fees down during a divorce

yuming — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 08:36:06 +0000

Once you have decided that your marriage is not salvageable, the next step is to get the deed done. As much as it is a tragic event in one’s life, divorce costs money — a lot of it if you do not proceed wisely. How do you keep your legal fees to a minimum in a divorce?

Hire a good lawyer. If your purse strings are tight, it’s tempting to go with a cheaper but less experienced attorney, but you could get much less in your divorce settlement. Take your time to research on which legal firm would be the best fit for your needs.

Learn the basics of divorce. Before you talk to a lawyer, get into the Internet and find out what are the basic concepts that make up divorce — alimony, child support, equitable distribution, timelines for pleadings, mediation are common terms you should know about. Head on over to reputable websites like Divorce 360 and Divorce Net. You can cut your billing time significantly if your lawyer doesn’t have to explain these simple legal terms to you — plus, you’ll keep up with your spouse or even be a step ahead legal-wise.

Do your own paperwork. Your lawyer needs information about your marital assets, debts, and reasons for divorce. Make an inventory of all your household items (plus pictures and their value), bank accounts, credit cards, vehicle title certificates, monthly expenditure, salary statements, investments, and outstanding debt. Also, include a timeline of your marriage and list all the reasons why you are getting a divorce. Help your lawyer do the groundwork and utilize him for more complex issues than mundane paperwork.

Be your own legal assistant. It is not unheard of for clients to also act as “runners” for their lawyer to shave off dollars from the final bill. Divorce involves a lot of documents that need to be delivered to the courthouse or your ex’s attorney, which is traditionally taken care of by legal assistants or couriers but this would be passed onto your bill.

Choose the associate, not the partner. An associate in a firm could be just as good as a partner and you could cut your legal fees by as much as 50 per cent. This seems to be contradictory to our first point, but you should use your discretion and word-of-mouth could be a pretty reliable source of recommendations.

Mediate, rather than litigate. This method of divorce is also called collaborative divorce where a neutral third party, a divorce mediator, tries to help the divorcing couple to come to a mutually agreeable settlement. What does a mediator do? She gathers the proposals from each side, and comes up with a settlement that is amicably accepted by both parties.

Arbitration costs less, too. It is very similar to mediation but the decision made by the arbitrator is legally binding. It’s a procedure that private and confidential where the divorce proceedings are not privy to the public. The services of an arbitrator are paid by both sides and you could choose to have a lawyer present if it makes you feel more secure.

Separated but living together: How to get through it

yuming — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:52:47 +0000

There have been many reports about how the economic downturn is leading to more divorces. In good times, money can be an easy band aid to gloss over toxic relationship issues, but in bad times, people cannot afford distractions and fights start to escalate at home.

While a break up is the best solution for a failed marriage, what happens when you can’t sell the house during a time the real estate market is plunging to new lows? You live together anyway until the house is sold or you have enough to move out.

Divorcing couples are finding it harder to move on. Most people would not recommend living with an ex after breaking up, but if you have to, what can you do for yourself in such a difficult situation?

Lay down some rules. Be it from who takes care of the grocery bill to dating other people, you should try to make clear what your boundaries are. If you choose not to see other people, stick to it.

Be respectful. Forcing yourself to be civil to each could help you realize a more collaborative style of divorce and it could be very well end up being less emotional and painful.

Don’t fall for your ex. Many would agree that when things at home seem nice, it almost feels like you’re back together as a couple again. You would experience conflicting emotions and may even reconsider the divorce. Good for you if it helps your relationship but be aware of why you chose to break up in the first place.

Remain positive. The transition period can be harrowing for some and all you can do is hold on to your sanity. Bumping into each other in the hallway or changing your schedule just to avoid your ex can cause daily tension. There is no real solution except to keep to your side of the house but be a civil housemate. Keep positive and try your best not to let the stress grind you down.

Stop the paranoia. While you are in situation where you are stuck together physically, the only other way to carve out boundaries would be in the mind. Your ex is no longer yours, so try not to be paranoid or obsess over whether he or she is dating again.

Think of Plan B. If your house cannot be sold, have you considered other options like moving back with your parents, or living with a friend, or renting a cheap apartment? Those are obvious first choices in the beginning but you should work towards finding an alternative living solution even if you have decided to live together until the property is sold. There is a price to pay for physical space but it can be worth it for mental relief if things are unbearable.

Changing the face of divorced dads

yuming — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 09:43:57 +0000

Although there are abundant horror stories about deadbeat fathers, divorced dads who want to spend more time with their kids are a growing group trying to be heard. In his latest book, Hollywood celebrity Alec Baldwin speaks of his own struggle with post-divorce alienation from his daughter — we are forced to think that this is not just a problem faced by regular guys because it’s happens a lot to many divorced fathers.

The common complaint about how divorce law is flawed is that it contributes to further fracturing of the family post-divorce. Fathers are supposed to pay child support but are only allowed every other Sunday to play the role of dad. They basically are not given much entitlement to see their children.

Furthermore, other complications such as the custodial spouse moves to another country or re-marries that lead to alienation between father and children. Common scenarios, but heart-breaking nonetheless.

An advocacy group started in Britain, called Fathers4Justice, has 33 offshoot organizations all over the world, including the US.

It is a reality that family courts do favor the mother in terms of custody and some are brave enough to say that the courts are “afraid” of women’s charter groups. Although there are compelling statistics to say that women suffer more post divorce, these numbers do not measure the emotional aspect of what a split family goes through post-divorce.

Silently suffering dads are not keeping quiet anymore and groups like Fathers4Justice, American Coalition for Fathers and Children, and Alliance for Non-custodial Parents Rights have been pushing for changes in custody law and changing the image of the callous divorced or unwed father.

Age-old gender stereotypes also permit this on-going unfairness — men are not good caregivers, and so don’t deserve to be in a primary nurturing role for their children.

But there is progress in this issue and some family experts have hope for change as society acknowledges that divorced men can be good fathers. They argue that if child-rearing today is defined as a responsibility to be shared equally between a married couple, then it should remain so, even after divorce.

Women suffer more in divorce

yuming — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 06:15:53 +0000

Although we all probably know that divorce hits women harder than men with tons of anecdotal evidence, but there are statistics to prove it and they don’t look good at all.

According to Long Island University’s National Center for Women & Retirement Research, the average woman sees a 45 per cent drop in her standard of living after divorce, while the average man improves his standard of living by 15 per cent.

The financial drain of the home and children tend to fall on women’s shoulders, while men suddenly have more dollars in the bank. While this is certainly a stereotypical snapshot, the reality is that a lot of people do fit into such a cliché.

“Even the most professionally savvy women often make disastrous, irreversible mistakes in a divorce,” explains Certified Financial Planner Faith Xenos, co-founder and partner of Singer Xenos, one of South Florida’s largest independent wealth management firms. “When it comes to divorce, women need to get their heads out of the clouds and take the steps to protect themselves from falling into financial crises.”

Consider three common-sense rules to your divorce:

Don’t go to court. Litigating your divorce case will never bring a better monetary outcome than a 50-50 division of assets. Most long-term marriages will usually end up with this result anyway so think again if you are out to take him to the cleaners.

Don’t go after everything. Not everyone should take Ivana Trump’s advice who famously said, “Don’t get mad, get everything.” Know that not all assets are valuable to you because on paper they could be worth a lot but you can’t liquidize them at the end of the day — so that doesn’t look so useful in everyday life, eh? If you’re not financially-savvy, hire an accountant to look through everything you’ve got in the books before you sign anything.

Dig deep. You can start your detective work on your tax returns but consider the fact that your husband may have other assets like stock options with his company. Such assets don’t reflect in tax returns. There is no easy way to be a sleuth but you could keep an eye on incoming mail that has unfamiliar bank or brokerage statements.

After gay marriage, divorce is even tougher

yuming — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 06:56:00 +0000

Brangelina may have sounded like cheeseball idealists when they said, “Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able.” But seriously, wouldn’t the world be a much better place when we stop this nonsense about who can get married and now who can get divorced?

In a bittersweet statement, Providence resident Cassandra Ormiston, sums it up in her inability to get divorced from her lesbian partner Margaret Chambers, “I’m a 61-year-old woman who always votes and pays my taxes, “I’m a good citizen, a good American. And then to be told I don’t have the same rights as everyone else.”

They are caught in a no-way-out situation where they cannot get divorced in their home state of Rhode Island as the court does not recognize same-sex unions, which means they cannot divorce if they weren’t married in the first place.

Although they got hitched in Massachusetts, divorce is not possible either because they need to be residents for at least a year.

The LA Times sketched out a very good article on this topic and points out the legal traps of clashing federal and state laws relating to same-sex marriages in the US:

* If a judge orders a heterosexual couple to divide a pension during a divorce, federal law allows the pension to be divided without triggering early-withdrawal penalties. Divorcing gay couples must pay the penalties.

* Court-ordered alimony payments can be deducted from federal income taxes in straight divorces, but not in same-sex divorces.

* In gay divorces, when a judge orders one party to give money or other assets to a spouse, those assets may be subject to gift or income taxes.

* When real property is transferred from joint ownership to one gay spouse by a court order, capital-gains taxes are often triggered.

What I find curious is there was a lesbian couple who were residing in Canada and managed to get a divorce in New York, which is dubbed the first gay divorce in the history of the state’s family law system. Maybe Ormistan needs to head over there?

Gay marriage on both coasts is something I support but it is truly a pity that the whole country isn’t in synch on this issue. I think it’s time that divorce laws for same-sex unions catch up fast.

How to prepare for a divorce

yuming — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:34:39 +0000

You have fought all the fights and tried to make it work, but it isn’t happening. Both you and your spouse have decided to call it quits and maybe one of you has moved out.

Many experts will tell you to not let your emotions get the better of you and you need get ready. Learn how to avoid common pitfalls made in divorce proceedings. These tips will help me make more informed and sound decisions.

Have all the paperwork. Get information on your bank accounts, credit cards, assets, savings, mortgage and debts as individuals and as a couple. Be aware that you can obtain your tax statements for the past 3 years along with your salary statements and employment contract. This is essential to calculate the marital estate — subtract the debts from the assets and then divide equally by two.

Get a lawyer ASAP. You may be in the very early stages of separation but it is better to gain as much knowledge as you can because it is usually the first time for most people. Your lawyer can clearly explain to you the basics of family law and what your various options are available to your situation.

Consider filing your taxes separately. Your marital status in your tax return is set according to the last day of the fiscal year, so some people would file for divorce before the end of the year. This seems to be the safer choice as trust levels tend to be very low during divorce proceedings, and if for some reason, you have to file jointly, both parties are exposed to liabilities, even if you’re not in the loop for all the calculations drawn up in the return. If you feel vulnerable as the less financially savvy partner, you should hire another accountant to review the tax return for you.

Ensure you have enough insurance. Most married couples take out insurance policies together because it is cheaper, but if you are single, make sure you factor in insurance for yourself, your children, home and vehicle as an individual.

The cliché that “divorce is business” is not a tired saying for nothing. Marriage is a binding contract and divorce is ending that written bond, if you look at it that way. It is a complex process to face in the midst of emotional turmoil, but like in any tragedy, taking care of the details of what needs to be done could help you cope with any further difficulties that may arise.

Madonna and Guy: Together or not?

yuming — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 05:27:32 +0000

The Internet has been ablaze with reports of Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie’s impending split because the Material Girl star allegedly visited Fiona Shackleton, the dynamo legal eagle behind Princess Diana and Sir Paul McCartney’s divorces.

At stake is Madonna’s staggering fortune of $650 million, so she certainly needs the best lawyers around to help her. Apparently, there was no pre-nuptial agreement in place. Not possible, you think, but even the super-wealthy think with their hearts and not their bank accounts.

There were reports that Ritchie flew to New York in a last bid to save their broken marriage, but rumor has it, that the movie director visited top London family law firm, Forsters.

To spoil tabloid fun and games, Madonna’s rep released an exclusive statement to People magazine that there is no divorce in the air at all. She debunked rumors of affairs with Alex Rodriguez and Lil Wayne as untrue.

Paul McCartney in divorce face-off with Heather Mills

To divorce or not: Does the nature of an affair matter?

yuming — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:13:17 +0000

Yes, for most people, they would consider what kind of infidelity was committed. The decision to break up really depends where you are coming from and other factors in your relationship.

In our previous article on whether or not to leave a cheating spouse, we discussed the important questions we should ask while making what could one of life’s most difficult decisions.

Are you religious? Are there children involved? Are you financially independent? Is your partner remorseful? Can you forgive such grievous mistake?

How you found out does play a significant role in your decision, too. Was it by accident or through snooping through text messages or did your spouse confess? They are all terrible ways to discover the truth but there are varying degrees of betrayal in everyone’s book and you have to decide what your boundaries are.

For some people, cheating is just unacceptable and will follow the separation path, but for some, there is a lot more at stake and would consider staying together.

But it’s hard — really hard — because sexual betrayal is the ultimate destruction of trust in any relationship.

Let’s zero in on one aspect that is always thrown up as an important deciding factor — what kind of infidelity was it?

In a moment of weakness, your spouse cheated on you. Maybe it was a one-night stand, or with a prostitute, and they are no longer in contact. It’s important to ask why it happened and what part of your relationship could’ve triggered something like this. It could have been sexual problems, or communication, alienation, and overwhelming stress from having a family — whatever it is, try to hear your spouse out.

Of all the kinds of infidelities, this could be the easiest to overcome, especially if your partner is willing to go for marriage counseling. It may be a cliché to think all human beings make mistakes and there is no weakness in recognizing and accepting that in your spouse. You probably make relationship mistakes, too, but in other ways.

The power-play affair says a lot about what the cheating spouse is angry or dissatisfied about and uses this as a means of revenge or even feels justified to being unfaithful. Chances are they want you to catch them one way or another. You may be even blamed for the affair for happening. Counseling is definitely advised for this situation to help “restructure” the power balance in the marriage.

A long-term affair is emotionally crushing and probably one of the most difficult types to get over. Is your spouse willing to leave their lover? Is the lover unwilling to leave? What was the reason for having this affair and how did it start? You may wonder these questions and if you would ever pull through.

The most important question to ask yourself: is the marriage something you can save? If your spouse wants to give it second shot, don’t close this option off if it is presented to you. You may regret not trying to work your issues out by insisting on a divorce.

The worst scenario is when the cheating spouse refuses to leave the lover nor you. There could be a period of time where you might be in a back-and-forth situation where you seem to take turns with the lover to be with your spouse. Don’t feel like a failure if you decide to give up the tussle because you are being emotionally jerked around. Perhaps giving an ultimatum would be the best move but be prepared for the outcome to go either way.

The philandering spouse is also an excruciating roadblock and the reason for this often lies with the cheating individual. Maybe they need a constant ego boost, or they are addicted to winning conquests, or they could suffer from sex addiction — the question would then be, if your spouse cheats again, can you overlook it?

Like the previous type of infidelity, the vote to stay or not is 50-50. Some people would just choose divorce and wipe the slate clean, but some do stay for many different reasons — financial dependence, children, old age, cancer and numerous investments. If you stay it’s because you feel you have a lot more to lose from a divorce. In this case, you have to come to terms that your relationship with your spouse would inevitably have certain limitations.

Bill Murray and wife given quick divorce

yuming — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:26:40 +0000

The family courts have granted Bill Murray and his wife of 10 years, Jennifer, a speedy divorce.

The couple’s separation was only publicized last month. According to court documents, she will have custody of their four children and was given the marital home as part of her settlement. Murray will pay child support.

Jennifer allegedly filed for divorce because the comedian was an abusive sex addict and the breakdown of their marriage was due to his “adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment.”