Get Off The Train - Goethe, Gravy & Guitars

2015-06-14T09:01:00.001+01:00

Get Off The Train has regenerated

You can now follow me at ShedWords

Cinema Experience

2014-03-02T19:52:00.001+00:00

Having spent the last month or so studying Dickens and the condition of England in the 19th century, a fellow student and I decided to go and see The Invisible Woman, the story of Charles Dickens and his young mistress, Nelly.

The showing was in one of the small auditoriums and despite the lateness in the cinematic diary we were not the only customers of the afternoon. Of the 15-20 members of the audience my friend and I were the youngest, interestingly this did not mean that the auditorium was the model of propriety and good manners. To our left sat a couple of friends, one of whom was partially deaf and commented rather loudly throughout the film. To our right were a couple in the full throws of a cold, coughing and spluttering the entire way through. Behind and to our left were the group of friends with the cellophane bag of sweets individually wrapped in – oh yes, cellophane and behind to the right was the man that had to tell the woman next to him to stop texting as it was distracting.

The film itself proved to be a useful reinforcement of details we had studied such as Dickens's journal, Household Words and his trips to Manchester to name but two. It was also an interesting perspective of the man who's mastery of words is more renowned now than ever, who spoke up for the working classes and the poor but who it seems was deeply flawed when it came to relationships with women. Emulating Dickens’s books, the film had a large element of bleakness; here was an ambassador of social ideals with a wife and large family, pursuing and compromising a girl half his age. There were many (too many) meaningful close ups of Nelly and Charles begging you to read the subtext. Wilkie Collins (Tom Hollander) brought some light relief as Dickens’s bohemian friend and Catherine Dickens (JoannaScanlan) was a marvel. “Bastard!” exclaimed our deaf companion when Dickens was particularly cruel to his wife. Fiennes played his role convincingly but Scanlan stood out more.

Notes to Self

2014-02-19T16:15:00.001+00:00

So engrossed was I in my latest assignment that I forgot to post my last blog (Twin Triumph).

It has been an interesting month from a study point of view (by interesting read hard). The final topic was fascinating, engaging and just HUGE. 19th Century England - The Condition of the Working Classes & Charles Dickens Hard Times. There was so much to take in, so many notes to make, that I eventually became enshrouded in multi coloured pieces of paper with various illegible scribbles on them. To make matters worse, I got so carried away with the historical aspect that when I chose the Literature assignment, I approached it from the wrong direction. Once embarked on this erroneous journey it was difficult to steer myself back on course - much pain and agony ensued (sorry family).

BIG NOTE TO SELF - If you are fortunate enough to realise you have made a mistake in approaching a question, start the essay plan from scratch - DO NOT TRY TO RE-JIG IT RETROSPECTIVELY - it's not worth the pain!

ANOTHER BIG NOTE TO SELF - Just because you have half term coming up don't leave the assignment until the last minute. YOU DO NOT DO LAST MINUTE - it's not worth the pain!

Twin Triumph

2014-02-19T15:55:00.000+00:00

Foundations and Fungus

Well after a tortuous twelve day wait I finally got the result for my first creative writing assignment. It was good. Very good, my best yet. Surprisingly, after a little jig around the kitchen and celebratory hugs from my family, my next reaction was a strong urge to go to sleep (I should point out that it was evening). Whilst waiting for the results I had run through a variety of scenarios in my head - ranging from the worst; envisaging my unloved and unused shed crumbling away - a rotting symbol of my despondency, to the best; jumping up and down, laughing and smiling and eventually settling down to a celebratory glass of wine (or two). I had not, however, envisaged how exhausted I would be in reality. The following morning I woke up with ideas for my book running through my mind. The beginning - the first real instruction in technique and effects and I am excited at the prospect of building on these foundations.

That afternoon, with half of my mind floating in the clouds, the other half decided that today was the day to once and for all combat .... The Smell. For weeks now I have been accusing the boys of harbouring some soggy sports kit somewhere in the depths of the bedroom cupboard or bundled in a bag in the cubby under the bed. At every opportunity I have been throwing open the window, skitting around the room like a bobbing madwoman sniffing out the source of the worsening odour. Well today the pong wasn't going to beat me - I was going to conquer it! Having narrowed it down to an area around one cabin bed I swiftly removed the plethora of empty plastic bags, half full water bottles, tissues, sweet wrappers, odd socks and the single glove that had been previously 'tidied' into the corner. After calling in the cavalry and pulling the bed away from the wall - there it was. The Beast. Almost the entire length of the bed along the skirting and part way up the corner of the wall (hidden behind a unit) was a black and white fuzzy mould. The result of a cold outside wall and a lack of air circulation (I'm told). Armoured with the guilt of weeks of accusations I was ready to banish the beast and attack with a mild bleach solution and a scourer - problem solved.

All in all, a successful weekend.

Creative Conundrum

2014-01-12T20:34:00.001+00:00

Early Lessons

Well, my first creative writing assignment has been sent. It's gone - it's out of my hands. Another agonising wait follows whilst my fate rests in the hands of my Tutor (OK so maybe a bit dramatic but that's how it feels). Consisting of a section of short story and a commentary/reflection, this assignment feels far more personal than any of the essays. Whilst the other results mattered, this one matters more. Supposing I have got it completely wrong? Should I have gone for the the essay option? I know I shouldn't have, I had to give this a go but....

It's been five days so far. Every day I keep reminding myself that this is my first piece of creative writing that has ever been assessed - of course there will be mistakes and of course there will be improvements to make. That is the whole point of taking the course. Next year is my first full creative writing module, I had better get used to this feeling.

Oh well only another ten days to go of this discordant mind tennis - unless of course, by some miracle, my Tutor actually marks it early!

Tricky Wiki

2013-11-25T20:50:00.000+00:00

Tricky Wiki

The first of two collaborative assignments for the year wasn’t what I had hoped it would be. I knew it would be a challenge – what else can you expect from a group of people you don’t really know, conversing only on-line to create an essay? Not only do you have to agree (or compromise) on what you are saying but how you are going to say what you are saying. Not to mention being careful of how you say, how you are going to say what you are saying. It was tricky and just when things seemed to smooth themselves out it all took a turn for the worst. Then it was horrible. Interestingly on the day we finished I saw a retweet from Mark Forsyth ‘sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it’. Whilst the quote is a reference to his new book The Elements of Eloquence, how apt, is all I can say.

During this episode I was aware that I was a nightmare to be with. At work, at home, no-one got away lightly. I’m surprised my family didn’t move out or at least tell me to move out. I was thoroughly horrible. The day after we finished I felt like myself again for the first time in about three weeks. Overnight the frowning, short-tempered beast that had pervaded my being dissipated like a phantom dissolving into the air. What a relief.

Unless the OU and/or universities generally have a huge change of heart and remove these team elements from the curriculum, I will have to do another wiki next spring. Perhaps I can get a bed in my shed? I might need it.

The Next Stop

2013-10-06T16:58:00.001+01:00

Well the first year of study finished in May and I was certainly ready for a break. Whilst I enjoyed the extra free time I am definitely ready for the first phase of this year's study. The materials arrived a good few weeks ago and I was itching to get going - making a dash once again for quiet time in my 'study/shed/office' - both comforting and exciting. Another phase of the journey has begun and this time with a creative writing element. Interestingly, as much as this excites me, I have unexpectedly discovered that I am also extremely nervous about tackling the creative writing tasks. What if I discover that I can't do it?! This was after all the main reason for me taking the course.

Panic aside, I am looking forward to taking on the challenges that the course throws at me and being introduced to new things, the first of which is in assignment one (I still don't entirely know how to describe a wiki). Secondly, in preparation for January, I have just started reading my first Dickens novel (which I am thoroughly enjoying) - so it's only day two and I have already had two new experiences.

As I write this the 'Guitarman' and 'A' are tiling the floor of the side entrance to the house - a surprisingly small space for all the junk that is now distributed around the ground floor rooms - creating mountainous obstructions of wellies, jackets, shoe polish and 'stuff'. What is the 'stuff'? It's all in boxes, it's very useful, it can't be thrown away - you can guarantee that if I throw it I will one day need to go to the 'bit box' to find a screw or a widget or a washer that's not been used for twenty years. The 'bit box' is a fraction of the 'stuff' as a whole - old dog toys (they can go), half empty pots of paint (I might need to do some touching up), windscreen wash (need that) shelf brackets, a staple gun, glue gun... The biggest mountain has been there for a week, a tectonic shift has clearly taken place over the seven days and Snowdon has become Everest as the 'surface' has been used to pile yet more 'stuff'. We have at least one more week of disruption to go before the big tidy up, who knows what could happen in that time, boulders could fall, people may die... The 'Guitarman' had a fantastic gig last night but hasn't yet put all his gear back into place - where is it going to go?!... I think I'll stay in my office and study.

The Lure of the Lake

2013-08-12T22:00:00.000+01:00

Tale Two

Before embarking on our journey to Lombardy, I had conversations with many well-travelled people who told me how beautiful the Italian Lakes are. I was excited to see for myself the place that had inspired so many poets, artists and musicians and to discover what was so special about Lake Como.

Well over 2,000 years ago the ancient Roman poet, Virgil, was drawn to the lake which inspired some of his poetry. The birthplace of Pliny the Younger in 61CE and the inventor of the battery, Alessandro Volta in 1745, Como and the surrounding lakes have lured scientific and creative minds (and hearts) to their natural beauty. Pliny's uncle (Pliny the Elder), author of the encyclopaedic work Natural History, was also born in Novum Comum (Como). Both uncle and nephew were motivated to write about the ebbing and flowing natural spring leading to the lake. In 1498 Leonardo da Vinci visited the site in Torno to study the spring himself and less than one hundred years later the Villa Pliniana was built there, incorporating a grotto fed by the spring which in turn flowed into the lake. Byron, Shelley, Rossini, Verdi and Puccini were amongst the many notorious guests enlivened and touched by the villa and the lake over the following centuries.

In 1787 Goethe embarked on his two year Italian Journey. Towards the end of this journey he sailed the length of Lake Como and sketched the shore and mountain views - 'he was trying to grasp and fix the last moments of happiness as they slipped away' (Boyle, 1992, p.514). In 1790 Wordsworth wrote a poem of the lake in which he declared it 'a treasure whom the earth keeps to herself'. Almost thirty years later Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote to his friend that the lake 'exceeds anything I ever beheld in beauty' and in the late 19th century Henry James wrote to his sister that 'One can't describe the beauty of the Italian Lakes, nor would one try if one could'.

On that note, who am I to try? Here are some photos!

As you can see, the lake is beautiful and whilst I'm sure it has changed greatly in the last century alone, its appeal and magic remain strong. No matter how many times we saw the lake, from which road, hill, mountain, garden or shore, we could not take in enough. Time is lost as the mind tries to absorb the colours, the heat, the water and the contrast of the forests against the backdrop of the mountains. The colourful red roofed villas clinging onto the steep hillsides are interspersed amongst the lush green foliage like gems. Walking through the narrow streets, being drawn down to the lake was a delight in itself. Above your head, bridges of stone or intricate wrought iron connect villas to wonderful roof garden terraces, where you long to take just a moment to be embraced by the sight and colours of the flowers before once again marvelling at the lake.

In Lake Como you see and feel all four of natures elements in their glory. I can't recall another place that has brought out an awareness of this in me. Visiting the lake evokes a feeling of enchantment where nature and wildlife are pushed to the fore. Whether in the hills or on the lake shore we were always surrounded by butterflies. I don't remember ever seeing so many. In our villa up in the hills we were frequently visited by two bewitching deer. As if taking part in the fairy-tale they would appear before us just under the terrace and allow us a brief glimpse of their majesty before vanishing into the forest.

Yes, I think I too have fallen under the spell and the lure of the lake.

Reference: Boyle, N. (1992) Goethe The Poet and The Age Volume I The Poetry of Desire, Oxford Paperbacks

Sights, Sounds and Bites

2013-08-11T19:32:00.000+01:00

Tale One

Our encounters with the creatures of Lombardy began the moment we stepped off of the plane in Milan. As we descended onto the tarmac and alighted the bus we were greeted by a thin cloud of mosquitos. The air assault consisted of two phases; the first took advantage of us unsuspecting prey whilst we were handicapped by the one handed swat defence (the other hand was needed to cling to the rail of the jolting bus). The next assault began at the bus stop immediately outside the terminal. Whilst waiting for the transfer service we were raided again and again. Fortunately our counter attack came in the guise of two prepared and kindly travellers who had Autan spray immediately to hand. Under the protection of the spray we thought we were safe, until 'P' announced that she had been bitten a number of times through her jeans!

Upon arrival at the villa the following day we were welcomed by a lounge of lizards. Generally skittish and shy, they still like to keep us company as we read on the terrace, in the shade of the trees. Occasionally basking in the sun on the villa wall, pausing on the patio to observe before making a dash or sometimes joining us in the house. Apparently nowhere is out of bounds, including the bathroom. I have a particular fondness for lizards going back to my childhood holidays in Malta, however, I am not overly keen on spotting the little fellas on the wall next to me just as I park my bare derrière!

Whilst the lizards were expected, the huge centipedes were not, as 'A' will testify after he woke up in the early hours to find a 2" specimen on his head! In a similar fashion 'J' removed what he believed to be a wad of lint that was tickling his thigh inside his shorts. He was somewhat shocked to discover he was holding some giant mosquito type biting fiend that had already attacked five or six times and summarily 'evicted' the beast.

How blissfully ignorant I was as I swam in Lake Como on our second day. Clear water, sunshine, big fish, little fish. Heat up, dip, cool down - lovely. The following day in Bellagio we took a moment to sit in the shade by the waters edge and take in the view. What did I spot with it's head out of the water but a snake! OK - so maybe it was only 2' at the most but a snake is a snake, let alone a snake in the lake!

Back at the villa that afternoon I sat and read as the large black ants occasionally dashed across my feet (by now these harmless fellows seemed the least of our worries). There was a louder than usual rustle in the leaves at the bottom of the tree. I looked up to discover a one eared glis glis staring at me with cute round eyes. He paid us a relatively long visit, rummaging around the garden for twenty minutes or so. Eventually he scuttled along the grassy path onto the pile of dead leaves and on into the woods.

The glis glis may have rustled his way in and out of or company but other sounds have been with us from the outset. We are surrounded by hills and woodland, as we open the door in the morning we welcome the rising sun, the buzzing of the insects and chirping birdsong. On the evening of day five, however, we were invaded by an as yet unseen loud 'mouthed' bird that doesn't so much sing but squawk and screech in an insult to the ears kind of way! At 5am the following morning it began again, outside the bedroom window - I think in competition with the braying donkey that decided to make an early morning call. We haven't seen it yet but the bellowing beast likes to echo his call down the hillside. Not to be outdone by the cacophony, the guard dog down the hill joined in with a verse or two of barking before a chorus of full blown howling. Oh and did I mention the bells?

- After writing this, 'M' advised me that he saw a snake by the path as they trekked down to the lake at lunchtime.

We Survived - Year One!

2013-06-06T20:14:00.001+01:00

It's been a long time since my last post, as expected things got very hectic towards the end of last month. As a 'mature' student learning to combine the essay deadlines, family and friend commitments and generally just living - all take practise. Academia aside, I have learnt that I can walk past the pile of papers on the table without tidying them - and the world doesn't come to an end. I have also learnt that the family won't die of starvation because I'm not cooking and that the ironing pile mountain can actually get pretty damn high before toppling - so what! Don't get me wrong, I'm not the only one in the house capable of doing these things, but typically it comes down to me - and I have learnt to let it go. I feel quite liberated as well as educated and the truth is that the pressure only comes from me!

It is fair to say that I have embraced the learning experience and that it has awakened a hunger in me. My confidence has grown, my memory improved (if only slightly) and my social horizons have widened. I see links and connections in literature or history that I never knew existed before. This both excites me and scares me. How can I ever have time to read it all or remember it!

I have a few months now to recharge the batteries before beginning the next five years (which I believe run concurrently). I desperately want to get writing again and in fact took a special day trip last week in the name of 'research' - but that's a blog for next time.

If anyone is contemplating a late education, like me - I would categorically say 'stop thinking and just do it!'

Boilers, Blogs and Beats

2013-03-17T22:13:00.000+00:00

Boilers, Blogs and Beats...

I have well and truly neglected my blog over the last month. It seems everything has conspired against me. A nice short school term at work means not long until the next break. On the minus side it means cramming six weeks of work into four and a half weeks. So, getting home already a bit jaded from a days work, I have tried to get on with the studying.

My plan for 'brewing' essays went to pot when the assignment week proved to be a disaster at home. Amongst other distractions, the boiler broke down whilst the gas and heating engineer (also known as the Guitarman) was away for two days. Since changing careers seven years ago, the Guitarman has rarely gone away - why did the boiler choose this week to die! Lots of kettle boiling and filling of pans ensued. I missed my yoga class and crammed in studying - twenty minutes here and twenty minutes there, but managed to get the assignment in on time. Completely out of my comfort zone as organisation went out of the window on this one but I suppose it had to happen sometime.

In an effort to ensure that this doesn't happen again I crammed in the next two weeks chapters of the course in one and started preparation for the next assignment, about two weeks ahead of time. The Burial at Thebes by Seamus Heaney - Sophocles' Antigone. I have a definite fondness for classical studies going back to my time at secondary school. Poetry, however, is not my strong point. I have been reliably informed by the study material that the prologue is in three beat verse - I have listened to the audio production and read it out loud I don't know how many times but as yet I don't get it! My brain is not tuning in - I'm not hearing the three beats. Oh dear, not a good start...

2013-02-02T23:39:00.000+00:00

Discombobulated

As I suspected the essay did not write itself and in many ways I would have gone through less pain had I pulled my own teeth out with a pair of pliers! This latest assignment has caused me grief, I think mainly because it is such a huge and complicated topic that I knew very little about. I have only a few days in which to let it brew and finalise before submitting. In the mean time I need to catch up on two chapters and read a new one before my tutorial on Tuesday. Oh yes and do the ironing, the shopping and go to work. As I said, discombobulated.

2013-01-28T21:32:00.000+00:00

A Good Cup of Tea...

Well after all the brewing, I finally made a good cup of tea. For the first time I am actually pleased with my mark. Whilst there are still improvements to be made, I at least feel that I am on the right track.

Now to tackle the next one. In my opinion the fourth and current assignment is by far the hardest yet. (This is not helped by the somewhat strange and seemingly misjudged order of the chapters. I won't bore you with the details but I can't make up my mind if it's deliberate or an oversight on the part of the OU). That obstacle aside there is also the ESSAY PLAN to contend with. 'Ahh well', I thought, 'it's going to be better this time, I have double the word count' - and then I read the question, stared blankly at an empty piece of paper for a few hours which eventually turned into a few days. After another day of trying to gather my thoughts and ideas on Tradition and Dissent in English Christianity, I tried the suggested mind maps - the colour pens were called upon and a frenzy of cross referencing began. This technique definitely helped. It's been mind maps galore in my little hideaway and finally, after much procrastination, I have produced a plan! I am sure the theory is that I have done the bulk of the hard work and now the essay will flow out of my mind and onto the page with ease...... I wish!

2013-01-14T20:36:00.005+00:00

Top Tips?

I am willing to give it a try

The OU are running a competition this month for students to give their top studying tip and it got me thinking. As a relatively new student I'm not sure if I am yet qualified to give a top tip but I do know what works for me and what doesn't.

Aside from the need to be able to study away from family life I have noticed something recently. When discussing my essay topic (with anyone who will listen but typically The Guitarman), I usually come to some realisation or conclusion that I hadn't thought of before. It seems that giving a verbal account of the topic helps me in some way that writing alone doesn't do. I'm already an advocate for the tutorials (if you can manage to attend), which go some way towards this solution - but I hadn't quite expected this development. In all honesty I haven't even needed a response from the listener, it is more the fact that I am putting my thoughts in order so therefore, I suppose, I could be speaking to myself. I haven't yet put this to the test but I am willing to give it a try.

....So, my top tips:

Shut yourself away
Start talking to yourself

BREAKING NEWS......

MADWOMAN LIVING IN HERTFORDSHIRE SHED....LAST SEEN CLUTCHING AA100 BOOK 2 WITTERING ABOUT TRADITION AND DISSENT IN ENGLISH CHRISTIANITY....APPROACH WITH CAUTION...

Leaving it to Brew

2013-01-02T21:07:00.000+00:00

Leaving it to Brew

I am currently working on my third assignment which consists of two short (make that very short) essays and a deadline to submit at the end of next week. With two assignments under my belt I am trying an approach that makes sense but quite frankly scares me a bit. Part of the battle with these initial assignments is the small word counts and therefore what to leave out without leaving too much ...um out. My approach this time is to write the essay, leave it for a few days, make changes as usual and then leave it to brew for a few more days. The result so far has been a complete restructure of the essay - I am happier with it now but there is a little niggle in my head 'was it better before? I can't tell anymore I've read it so many times.' I am now working on the second essay which hopefully will give my brain a respite from the first and it will all become clear again on my final check before submission.

2012-12-13T20:00:00.000+00:00

Shed Envy?

Well it had to happen. So envious is The Guitarman of my little hideaway that he wants one for himself, only his is going to be bigger (but not better in my opinion, nothing can match my tranquil little haven).

The groundworks have been laid and the shed (second house) constructed. The structure is currently being lined and prepared for wiring and soundproofing.

Oh the joy, no more piles of paperwork cluttering up the house but more importantly no more STUFF! Guitars and widgets and gadgets all evicted from the house and consigned to the studio/office. The Lego like barricade of equipment will be taken down brick by brick and we will reclaim the room! OK, so I had better not get too excited, it'll be ages yet before it's all finished, dry, warm and secure but ...... whoohooo!

It is somewhat ironic that this blog did not post when scheduled and in the interim I had a dream. In the dream The Guitarman 'led me up the garden path' to view the 'shed' which was being worked on by an inordinate amount of helpers. Impressed by the scale of the construction I went inside and discovered a reasonable space with a good amount of floor room. To my surprise (and undetectable from outside) in true Tardis style, the room seemed bigger inside than out and even had a door leading to another room. 'Lovely', I exclaimed, 'you can have this room as your studio and that one will work perfectly as your office!' 'That's not all', said The Guitarman, 'follow me', as he grasped my hand and led me through yet another door. I distinctly remember a feeling of rising anger as we went from room to increasing room, by the time we reached a bathroom I was practically apoplectic and to cap it off I came across some stairs! Ultimately this 'shed' was a three storey wooden house with the finest state of the art bathroom fittings. - Err, now who is it that has shed envy?

2012-12-10T18:30:00.000+00:00

No More Room!

If you have been following my blog you will have noticed that I haven't posted for a month. Well here I am trying to make amends. Things have become more than a little hectic. Does it get worse than this? I hope not, but probably.

It's nearly Christmas, every aspect of life is busier than usual - everything seemingly revolves around dates and deadlines, from work and study to social life; organising the work 'do', writing out Christmas cards, buying presents, submitting assignments, studying topics and attending tutorials.

Assignment two has been sent off, assignment three is brewing. The nerves for the second assignment were worse than the first but this time there will be no thumb twiddling waiting for the assignment to come back - it's two weeks before I find out the result and a little more than two weeks until Christmas. Method and organisation (my stabilising comforts) are slipping, memory is worsening and lists are growing. The book research has been abandoned as has Anna Karenina. The diary, the study planner and the 'to do before Christmas' lists are full. My brain is positively yelling at me, 'don't take anything else on, there's no more room in here!'

Note to self: Next year start Christmas arrangements in June.

2012-11-10T13:30:00.000+00:00

Ill? I Don't Have The Time!

Well it has certainly been an eventful week, amongst other things I:

Submitted my first TMA (Tutor Marked Assignment)

Saw the first phase of a work project come to fruition

Discovered that the OU Student Newsletter listed this blog as blog of the month

Didn't read a single page of Anna Karenina

Did read the OU chapter on Stalin

Did read a book about writing

Did some research for my book

Came down with some flu like thing that has knocked me sideways

Thankfully the TMA was my priority and I sent if off on Monday - no more checking, re-checking and checking the re-checking, the deed is done and now I must wait....

Sadly Anna Karenina was the sacrifice - well, something had to give. Perhaps next week.

As for being ill, we are not a sickly sort of family - none of us are ill very often, who has the time to be ill anyway? Quite frankly - I just don't do illness. I get cross and impatient because there are always 'things to do' rather than sleep or sitting doing nothing. However, on this ocassion - between having a snooze on the bed late morning yesterday and sitting wrapped in the duvet watching a film a few hours later, I was able to watch a YouTube video on 'Stalin the Myth', recommended by a fellow student that very afternoon. I also had some time to contemplate the plot of my story and had an idea for a radical change from the original plan. If my head didn't hurt so much I'd be feeling quite pleased with myself.

2012-10-26T21:02:00.000+01:00

Tutorials -

Not Compulsory But Can You Manage Without Them?

For me personally - no.

OK so it's still early days and at this stage I have only attended two but both undoubtedly provided the impetus I needed to get the first TMA underway. I left the tutorials with a sense of purpose and clarity which I hadn't achieved from reading the study material alone. I have thrown myself into this wholeheartedly - amongst other things I have watched just over three hours of Cleopatra, I have listened to BBC4 history podcasts and I have visited the National Gallery and Courtauld Gallery to see the Cezanne paintings in the 'flesh'. The three plus hours of Cleopatra were worth it just to illuminate Plutarch's view on her visit to Tarsus. But what really got me going was sitting with my contemporaries discussing the various aspects of the topic. Everyone contributed something, it felt as though we were on the same level - it dispelled the feeling of inadequacy over the standard and content of the discussion forums. Equally with regards to Cezanne, I was completely dazed and out of my depth after reading the chapter through twice - but after the day class on Saturday, I came away feeling that I had at least some understanding of what Cezanne was trying to achieve.

Of course there is every chance that this could just be me. I have been out of education for over twenty six years, I am out of practice. Maybe a few topics or even modules down the line I won't feel quite the same.

Right now though, I would categorically say, if you can go - do.

2012-10-19T22:49:00.001+01:00

Juggling The Balls

Weeks ago I sat down and planned out my days in half hour slots, plotting when I would be at work (grey blocks), getting home and cooking, sorting washing etc (white blocks) when I could study (red blocks) and when I would give myself some time off (yellow blocks). The first week was perfect.

Sadly this second week hasn't worked quite so well and all those colours seem more like blocks with an additional 'o' and 'l'! I am part of a family, unexpected 'things' crop up and the basic stuff still needs to be done. I thought I had allowed time for this but as I have discovered life isn't always that organised. I work hard and so does The Guitarman, sometimes he isn't able to take J to his guitar lesson or maybe he needs to pop home briefly to eat before going out to work again. Someone has to cook the dinner and provide the taxi service and whilst everyone is mucking in, that also has to include me. I made the mistake on Tuesday of allowing myself unscheduled leisure time because technically I am ahead of the game. However Wednesday, for various reasons outside anyones control, went completely to pot. By the time I was free to study it was gone 9pm and I was dead on my feet. At the end of the evening I was really anxious as I know that on Thursdays I have other commitments and cannot study at all. That's three days in a row without study - I might be able to get away with it at the moment but as the course progresses this won't be the case I am sure.

Busy with work, busy with family, and all the while trying unsuccessfully to stick to the plan. Anyone that knows me well, knows that this is my idea of hell. I like things to be organised, I like to know what I am doing and when and I don't particularly enjoy last minute deviations. This week I am studying Cleopatra, that week I am studying Cezanne, it's clear in my head, I am happy. Meanwhile in reality my email pings and a tutor on my tutorial forum poses a question to get us all thinking and discussing a related topic. What do other students do? They respond with thoughtful and considered observations. What do I do? Ignore it. The truth is, at the moment I simply can't cope with it.

So what have I learnt this week?

Following the plan isn't always going to be possible
I need to take my opportunities when I get them (don't sit in your dressing gown drinking wine and catching up on True Blood)
I need to adjust to later nights during the working week
I can't bury my head forever, sooner or later I am going to have to cope with work, home and social life, official study and the extra stuff thrown in

Oops, what just fell on the floor?

2012-10-02T21:02:00.002+01:00

The Grumpy Old Bag?

Well the WiFi euphoria soon wore off when I realised that connection in the hide-away is only sporadic and the booster that I have since purchased doesn't appear to work at all! For some inexplicable reason I have connection as I type but for how long?......

Things have progressed since my last post. The module website is open, I have had a letter and an email from my tutor and I have a list of my local tutorials over the coming months. The tutor has suggested that I look at two specific areas of the first workbook before our meeting next week. I feel relatively calm and very ready to begin. In addition to this I have withdrawn from the unofficial module facebook group - at the risk of sounding like a grumpy old bag - I couldn't stand it anymore! Life's too short, too many books and not enough time..... From now on I will rely on the official forums and groups which will hopefully stick to the relevant stuff. If I make some friends along the way that's great but I don't need to take on other people's stresses and strains (particularly when most of the time they simply haven't read something properly). OK so I do sound like a grumpy old bag - all I would advise is that it would be wise to weigh up the benefits and be selective in choosing which groups you join.

2012-09-19T20:37:00.000+01:00

Keeping a Clear Head

It's been a few weeks since my last post, the summerhouse was delivered (at the very end of the delivery schedule of course) and I am sitting here for the first time in my freshly painted and kitted out hut-shed-summerhouse-office-study thing. It's peaceful and warm, I have electricity and light and much to my surprise WiFi signal!

The course start date is fast approaching and like many keen students I have joined the OU Arts & Humanities forum linked to my first course. In addition I have also joined a course specific facebook group.  Both of these facilities have proved useful in picking up information from people all over the country, eg we have shared links for performances of Dr Faustus both at the theatre and a special showing at Vue cinemas. We have also shared info on the Hollywood version of Cleopatra which was showing on Sky TV and on Saturday I am meeting up with 3 fellow students at the National Gallery to take a look at the original Cezanne painting 'The Bathers' - all positive stuff. There is however a draw back to this social network business - it can be very distracting....

Aside from trying to keep up with all the new joiners on either site which takes up your time (be warned - joining a closed facebook group seems to mean that you get an email each time someone posts), there is an element of filtering to be established - great, yes Person A, let's meet up and view the paintings together....But Person B do I really need to know that you 'didn't do any studying today and will catch up tomorrow LOL'. Not everyone on these sites is new to the OU, some have already started other courses, their posts fill some of the new students with sheer panic thinking that they are way behind everyone else. Others have started assignments even though we haven't yet been allocated or spoken to our Tutors.  Couple the panic filled posts with the glut of information from the OU and you can easily become overwhelmed.

There is so much to explore on the OU website, with the Library services offering online tutorials covering a range of topics (including how to attend an online tutorial!) We have the books, CD's, DVD's and study guides to read/listen to and watch as well as the set texts. Dipping into these at this stage is all that is required.  I have booked tickets to see Dr Faustus at the Islington Pleasance Theatre next month, I am half way through Cleopatra (it is almost 4hrs long) and I am off to the museum on Saturday. I am limiting myself to 1-2 visits to the forum per week and I am trying not to get too involved in the many posts from the facebook group whilst at the same time still taking part.

My workspace is ready, I have done some reading, some listening and some watching, I have prepared a study schedule now all I need to do is keep a clear head........

2012-08-23T18:08:00.000+01:00

Nerves & Nitty Gritty

Having spent the last three weeks preparing the garden, today I am sitting and waiting for the delivery of my study/summerhouse. On the one hand I am really excited, my organisation freak side can't wait to get it painted and kitted out with my files, books, new stationary and pictures for the wall - all in time for the beginning of the course. My nervous side is developing an increasing sense of fear - the books have all arrived from the OU, the Student Finance is all arranged, my workspace is almost ready...... and then it all comes down to me. The summer is almost over, I am due to go back to work - how am I going to work, study, keep reading and writing and look after my family?! Should they be in that order? That's how it came out, does this mean something? I don't know. What if I can't do it, supposing my assignments aren't up to scratch, or everyone in the group understands a concept apart from me?

My sensible side is telling me to keep calm - I have the support of my family, I (will) have a quiet working space, with the help from the OU guide I have worked out a study and free time schedule, I am already in contact with other students on the OU forum who virtually all feel just as nervous. My 'children' are now young men, they are not going to starve (Sainsbury's can testify to that!) It is going to be hard, it is going to be tiring but the will and intent are there.

Now I've slapped myself around the face, where's that blasted delivery?.....

2012-08-13T20:12:00.000+01:00

Foundations and Summerhouses

This year the family summer holiday provided more than an escape from the routine of everyday living. Aside from the cultural education and relaxation aspects, I had a chance to formulate the plot for my novel, which up until recently was a 'mishmash' of thoughts and feelings and lacked coherence in my mind. Whilst I am sure things will change, it now has a spine from which the branches of the story can grow. I had the idea for a short story which I will pick up when the time is right and wrote the framework of another short story which now needs the 'meat on the bones'. I also learnt something very important - that whilst I can read through almost any noise associated with family life, I simply can't write with any distractions. As I am due to start my OU course in under two months I think this last realisation is fairly crucial. Unless I sit on my bed, I have nowhere to study or write without being in the throng of things (my chiropractor would have a field day!)

Coincidentally I bought a writers magazine to read on the journey which included an article on writers workspace. The cover shows a very romantic picture of an author sitting in a summerhouse with hens pecking the dappled sunlit ground. "Where are you going to study?" asked The Guitarman (husband) as we sat in the shade on the peaceful terrace one afternoon. "Err, I had thought at the dining room table but now I am beginning to wonder if that will work.... I have no idea!" I replied with more than a hint of panic. He picked up the magazine and said, "I think we should build you a summerhouse."

For the last three days all five members of the 'H' clan have been involved in preparing the ground for the summerhouse. The sun has shone, we've had laughs - fortunately no tears - but plenty of mud and stones, railway sleepers, blisters and aching muscles and we did it! I feel very proud and very lucky that along with The Guitarman my three teenage boys willingly and enthusiastically helped build the foundation. I am moved and overwhelmed by the poignancy of what is essentially an area of concrete and wood. I am truly grateful to my supportive family.

2012-08-12T01:36:00.000+01:00

The Gem

One of my aims whilst visiting Granada was to take a tour of Lorca's Summerhouse. The Internet indicated that there were pleasant gardens and a café - an ideal sojourn for my 3 unaffected companions whilst I took the tour.

I studied Lorca at college many years ago; Blood Wedding (Bodas de sangre), The House of Bernarda Alba (La casa de Bernarda Alba) and I vaguely remember the title of Yerma. As part of our study we had a class trip to a tiny independent cinema in London to see Bodas de sangre performed and choreographed by Antonio Gades - I was mesmerised by Gades and the emotion he portrayed through dance. The performance reawakened a childhood awe of flamenco and since that day I have seen many shows and even attended flamenco dance classes for a short period. The dance, the passion and the story have a combined effect on me and the individual aspects can stir me to the core. My recent involvement with Lorca's work came about this year when I accompanied the year 10 drama class to a local production of Blood Wedding and a few weeks later I had the pleasure of watching their earnest and mature representation.

The House - Huerta de San Vicente - It was by sheer luck that I took the tour with only four other people, a family who also happened to be English, so the guide was able to address us all at once. For half an hour we were taken around the home with the original furniture and relevant pieces of artwork and wall hangings. From the moment we stepped into the entrance hall we were all enchanted, not only by the excellent guide but also by the simplicity of the museum which contained so much history. Despite or because of the simplicity, the meaning of the chosen exhibits was amplified and profound. As we were taken from room to room the sense of Federico's being grew, his family, his friends and his work. The final room was his bedroom which contained a bed, a chair, a picture and his desk. It was too much to resist running a finger over the beautiful and over large oak desk at which he wrote Bodas de sangre and completed La casa de Bernarda Alba. Finally we were guided to the exhibition hall (originally 3 upstairs rooms) where the dominant feature was a large poster celebrating the 100th performance of Bodas de sangre in Argentina - significant not only because Lorca attended the performance but more importantly because of the achievement of 100 performances and overseas recognition in the 1930's (without the technology and publicity available today). The tour was at an end and as we reluctantly made our way down the stairs, the son of the English family asked his father what happened to Federico Garcia Lorca and his father relayed the terrible story of his murder in 1936.

I normally associate museum tours with feelings of interest and fascination but this was something so much more. It was the most emotive and affecting museum tour I have ever experienced and I honestly think I will remember it forever.

My family were waiting for me in the shade outside the house. "Was it good?"
"It was excellent" I replied, fighting back the tears.
"How was the café?"
"Closed."

Oops.....