Tucker Yates: Equipping Men For Community Impact

Coach’s Notes:
In this week’s episode of AchievingOPTIMAL, I’ll be chatting with entrepreneur and men’s leader, Tucker Yates who runs the 414 MINISTRY.

On a mission to help men connect with and build healthy relationships with other men, Tucker breaks down the silent struggles men often face today and what to do about it.

We discuss:

• Purpose & Mission
• Battles Unique to Men
• Superficial Friendships
• The 2AM Phone Call

And much more!

Learn more at 414MINISTRY.LIFE

TUCKERYATES@OUTLOOK.COM

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Today, many have an estranged relationship with the truth.

The humorist, Josh Billings put it this way, “It’s what we know that ain’t true that causes us so much trouble.”

Fortunately, the solution is simple.

It is discernment.

In my recent post, The Challenge of a Nation, I applied some discernment by way of critical thinking (and common sense) to the COVID-19 lockdowns.

I was not the first to do so, and I will not be the last. And, it was certainly not rocket science.

Once I began my research, it became quite easy. In fact, knowing what I do now, I wish I had ventured out of my cocoon (mental and physical) much sooner.

But, at the time, there were few who chose to publicly challenge the acclaimed experts. Interestingly, it was my curiosity and skepticism that made me think and speak differently about the subject. (Inexplicably, even now, many schools, businesses, and other organizations are still planning and implementing draconian policies that disrupt the many when only the extreme few are at risk.)

I’ve concluded that curiosity and skepticism prove very useful, but are in short supply, in evaluating the world today. These two qualities, key elements of independent thinking, prompted me to look for and find what was hidden in plain sight the entire time.

I encourage you to be curious and skeptical as well. Maybe you’ll come to a different conclusion? But, we will never know what your curiosity and skepticism might produce unless you put them into practice, exercising them with a healthy dose of common sense.

As Ben Franklin observed, “Common sense is something that everyone needs, few have, and none think they lack.”

The only downside to discernment is that it can be tedious and time-consuming to learn the facts and uncover the truth. In today’s information-heavy society, discerning the truth can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Sometimes we must dig through the non-sense to see the common sense.

However, it’s a vital part of our civic duty and a small price to pay given the life and death sacrifices of previous generations. In other words, given what is at stake, searching for the truth is a productive use of our time and a prudent investment in our future.

So, what exactly is discernment?

It is the learned ability to recognize what is true in the vast ocean of ideas, story-lines, agendas, and assertions that surround us. If ever there were a pressing need for discernment, it is right now, today.

Questions abound.

Who should I hire? What school is best for my kids? Should I take this job? Are we being deceived? Who is trustworthy? Is this relationship right for me? Is he manipulating me? Should I eat these foods or those foods? Who deserves my vote? Who can I rely on for good advice? What should we do next? What should we stop doing? What’s the wise thing to do?

In everyday life, discernment protects us from drifting away from our values, ideals and priorities. During tough times, discernment keeps us grounded, poised and pointed true-north. In crises, discernment prevents overreaction, intercepts foolish conclusions and leads to wise decision-making.

While not complex or sophisticated, discernment is far from easy to attain. But this old-fashioned virtue is worth every effort you make to acquire it. King Solomon tells us in Proverbs 18:15 that, “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge for the ears of the wise seek it out.”

And the apostle Paul warns us in Romans that we shouldn’t get so comfortable with our culture that we fit into it without even thinking, testing or discerning what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. The Roman scholar and philosopher, Cicero stated it like this, “The function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil.”

Discernment can renew and redirect your life. Even better, if exercised throughout our society, discernment can transform a culture.

In the universe of thought, silence, conformity, and compliance make for a toxic intellectual soup.

Unlike the product of groupthink, the best ideas must be robustly challenged with tough questions, contrarian viewpoints, and intense cross-examination.

Author Rick Warren put it this way, “A lie doesn’t become truth, wrong doesn’t become right and evil doesn’t become good, just because it’s accepted by a majority.”

We should all be suspicious of leaders and movements that insist on uniformity of thought. We should all be alarmed when leaders cleverly position opposing viewpoints in a derogatory light. We should all wave a red flag when we see dissenting voices being stifled.

Unfortunately this is all too common. Only when ideas are given 360 degrees of meaningful and transparent debate will the best ideas rise to the surface. This goes for boardrooms and classrooms, as well as in the court of public opinion.

Viewpoints cannot be summarily dismissed or discarded due to political correctness, otherwise, pervasive groupthink will surely follow.

But, in order to have constructive discussions, we must be able to first discern the truth and agree on what constitutes current reality. If we can’t share a common vocabulary or a common acceptance of objective facts, we cannot make progress.

After all, how do we move forward when everyone is allowed to subjectively define their own truth, based on how they feel at that moment…and then later, edit that previous “truth” to fit changing circumstances? How can we fix obvious problems in society, or even in our own homes, if we cannot agree on a common reality?

We can definitely have our own opinions, and many of us still do, but we can no longer allow them to be called “truth” as is currently commonplace in pop-culture. Truth is not something we can claim as an individual possession; rather, it is something that exists independently and can be verified dispassionately.

Truth is rooted in facts or objective reality. It accurately reflects what has or is currently happening. It can be healthy to express one’s feelings about the facts, but those feelings cannot be a substitute for the facts.

Facts are essential.

Facts reflect the truth of a situation, and form the foundation from which honest discussion can be initiated and prudent solutions can be developed and implemented. Facts that cannot be proved cannot be considered facts.

The alternative is chaos.

Becoming discerning, though, is tougher than ever. Today, we are awash with information, but sorely deficient in wisdom. Painfully obvious, right? We are inundated with slogans and soundbites. Like never before, we are prodded and pressured to fall in line and conform with the latest in “trending” thinking.

For young adults, especially, this is a big problem.

Not only do younger people necessarily have fewer life experiences from which to draw conclusions, discern truth, and demonstrate wisdom, many have only been taught what to think, not how to think.

Instead of being exposed to a diversity of competitive ideas, they have been “educated” with a singular way to think and a uniform, emotive way in which to interpret the world around them. A paradigm shift for many is learning to value the truth, because it is the truth, and not just because it feels true.

Having received an adolescent hall pass when it came to developing critical thinking skills, many do not know how to actively seek the truth, but instead have come to rely heavily on what they feel or presume to be the truth.

Don’t get me wrong, lack of discernment is hardly a problem limited to any specific generation or demographic. It can happen to any of us. But as individuals living in an increasingly secular, complicated, and broken world, we need a plan to counteract the confusion.

To wrap up this message, I have three simple recommendations that you may find helpful in navigating turbulent times.

Connect with God daily.

Investing time alone each day with the Creator produces a world of benefits, including discernment. Consistent exposure to scripture helps us to know God more deeply. It helps us better understand his plan for us, thereby illuminating what is right, in His eyes, and what is not.

Regular prayer and devotion time changes who we are and how we interpret what is going on in the world around us. Connecting with God daily prepares us to…

Observe the world wisely.

While most Christians pray for and work toward a peaceful, loving world, those with discernment recognize the brokenness of humanity,  and don’t bury their heads in the sand pretending otherwise. The timeless standards of God serve as a filter revealing crooked beliefs and cultural counterfeits that falsely and repeatedly promise solutions they have no power to produce.

Scripturally grounded, and less prone to accepting the hype of superficial trends and fads, those with discernment spot and scrutinize false notions quickly and reject them emphatically by comparing what’s being “sold” as the truth against the actual truth of God’s word. Observing the world wisely prompts us to…

Ask Intelligent Questions

Asking and answering questions is essentially what thinking is all about. With mobile devices and non-stop connectivity, it’s easy to allow the 24/7 media culture to dominate our thinking with pithy soundbites and memorable one-liners.

Instead of pondering and reflecting on the happenings of the day, we may slip into the habit of merely reacting to the thoughts we see on our screens, rather than those we originate in our minds. On the other hand, proactive, self-generated questions that carefully probe for the truth make us more likely to uncover it.

For example, here are some strategic questions I use when helping clients manage a crisis or adversity:

What exactly is the problem we are trying to solve? Are we addressing the root cause or just the symptom? Have I clearly separated the causes from the effects?

Are my efforts more directed at image management, damage control, or a practical, sustainable solution? Could anything else be a related or even bigger problem?

Can the problem as we have defined it be measured or quantified? Can we articulate and document the problem clearly and succinctly?

Can we solve the problem as defined? What will be different or better a decade from now? A year from now? Three months from now? What might be worse if we miscalculate?

What are the facts? What does the data tell us? Aside from raw emotion or personal sentiment, what is the reality on the ground? Have we been able to filter our emotions through reason and logic? Could we be overlooking a key piece of information?

Is there anything we are missing? If we were missing another key element, what might it be? Have we looked for and/or vetted any blindspots?

Are there any statistics or contrarian perspectives that could be illuminating or add to our understanding of the situation? Might our personal feelings on the matter be clouding our judgement? How so, exactly?

What are our assumptions? Could our assumptions be wrong? In what areas should we be more curious? Does this pass the “shoe on the other foot” test? How and where could we dig deeper for a clearer picture of what’s really going on?

Are we honestly seeing the big picture? Is there any difference between the perceived problem and the actual problem? Could this difference materially affect our solution?

Now you have these questions to apply to challenges in your life. But these questions only work if you do just that. They only work if you ask and answer them in real-life scenarios.

Please hear me.

I don’t claim to have the perfect solutions to solve our nation’s problems.

But I am certain of this.

Whatever the solutions, they will demand discernment.

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Should our children get back to school and resume their normal activities this fall, despite the presence of COVID-19?

Schools are in a tough spot.

How do we best serve our students while dealing with teachers and staff who are uncomfortable returning to the classroom? How do we restart school safely for everyone concerned? How do we make wise decisions with imperfect information?

How do we prioritize our students (and parents) while navigating the school board rules and local government mandates? And, do we allow parents any input in the decision-making process about their own children?

How are politics, local or national, influencing when or if we resume school? How will we deal with all the newest unknowns? What if things get worse? What if we wait just a little longer? What if we wait too long?

Parents are frustrated.

Will virtual learning be effective? Will my children thrive? What about their mental health? How will remote classes interfere with my work schedule? Who will watch my kids at home? Why haven’t we heard anything yet? When will real school return? Will it be safe? Will they have sports? Who’s looking out for my kid’s best interests? What if they just keep delaying? What’s at stake for my family? Is it this bad everywhere?

 

As a coach to entrepreneurs and their families for the last 29 years, I am in the business of helping my clients think about where they are headed and the best way to get there.

Many of my long-term clients use me as a sounding board to shake up their thinking, challenge their assumptions and discover their blindspots.

And, if you’re willing, that’s what I want to do for you in this post. I want to stretch and provoke your thinking for the purpose of helping your kids reach their full potential.

As with my clients, my job is not to change your mind but to sharpen your mind. If you have children or grandchildren, in school or college, this message applies to you.

Our kids need to get back into school, real school.

What’s driving this assertion?

I have been a child.

I am a parent.

I have examined the data.

I am applying common sense.

I also have education in my blood. Both of my grandmothers were teachers. One of my grandfathers was a junior high principal and the other was a teaching pastor. I even married a school teacher.

If you think it’s a good idea to keep kids at home learning virtually, I appreciate that point of view.

However, I strongly disagree.

Kids are not at serious risk with COVID-19. They need to get back in school.

In fact, with only basic precautions and slight modifications, the entirety of the school experience can safely resume for kids across the nation.

But, in many school districts, classes will remain online only. In other zip codes, public and independent schools will partially resume with expensive and draconian “safety” measures making them hardly recognizable compared to just six months ago.

Masks, plastic shields, one-way lines, static “bubble classrooms” for the entire day, no cafeteria, limited sports. You get the picture, right?

Interestingly, youth summer sports leagues, such as baseball, soccer, and lacrosse resumed in many areas in late May and early June. With very minimal precautions (temperature taking and most coaches wearing masks) young people have successfully resumed training and competition without disaster.

Untethered to academic institutions, these organizations chose to err on the side of normalcy for the sake of the kids.

They made prudent decisions.

Evidence is now mounting that children are not vectors for COVID-19 which helps explain the healthy success of youth summer sports programs. The most important evidence regarding pediatric transmission comes from Iceland, and their study published in NEJM. The senior author concluded that, 

“Even if children do get infected, they are less likely to transmit the disease to others than adults. We have not found a single instance of a child infecting parents.”

The genetic analysis in this study shows that children must be less likely to transmit the virus than adults.

Based on extensive contact tracing, the Ministry of Health in the Netherlands found almost no disease spread by infected patients 20 and under at all.

In Ireland, researchers compared infected children with infected adults. Despite identifying a total of 722 contacts for the infected children, the study found not a single instance of an infected child passing on the virus.

Additional data from France, Australia, Denmark, and other countries support the key finding that children play a reduced role in Coronavirus transmission.

To the contrary, the evidence points to adult-to-adult transmissions of COVID being the most likely cause of spread even within households.This is really good news for getting kids back to school and normal activities.

Children need in-person learning because the educational experience is about much more than simply absorbing subject matter in the classroom. The school years are about the overall growth and development of the child.

This includes social engagement, sports, the arts, academic curricula, and much more. Without in-room, real-life learning, your kids will not thrive as they ordinarily would.

If learning specific lessons is the main reason for going to school, then our older children have certainly wasted a lot of time all those years in the curricular and extra-curricular activities that previously kept them engaged, happy and thriving until about 6PM each day.

According to CDC data, adolescents are only at minimal risk of serious COVID infection, even less risk, almost zero risk, for fatality. This has been known for some time, and I previously wrote about this reality in another post in early June (The Challenge of a Nation).

Does this mean that no young person will contract and die from the virus? Unfortunately, it does not. And each death is tragic and heartbreaking, as are the far more common ways that children die every year.

These outlier COVID cases tend to involve young people with underlying conditions, particularly obesity and elevated inflammatory markers, and even so, the cases are extremely rare. In fact, they are far more rare than adolescent deaths from the flu this year.

And, I won’t even get into the risk of suicide. But, we should not, and cannot, dismiss the impact indefinite lockdowns and disruptions are having on the mental health of children and young adults.

We must do our best to reduce the threat to the most vulnerable amongst us while simultaneously moving forward with our jobs, our lives, and yes, with real school.

If the perfect safety (of everyone) is the standard, we will never return to normalcy. We cannot guarantee the safety of anyone. We never have been able to promise such a thing. We can only take reasonable steps to keep students, teachers, and staff safe.

If some children have medical conditions that make attending live classes truly unsafe, then those kids should attend virtually.

The big “story” being promoted, though, is that we have to keep the kids safe. If this is the reason schools don’t return to normal, you should vigorously object because it is misleading at best. It cannot be backed up by science.

If schools won’t open because teachers are too fearful to interact with children in the classroom, that is a fair concern. It should be noted however, that teaching is a very young profession in the United States with half of the teachers under forty years old and a quarter younger than thirty. These teachers are at very little risk of serious COVID infection.

Overall, 90% of teachers are younger than age sixty, the age above which a greater (but still very small) percentage of infections become serious.

And, if the teachers practice “safe-teaching” with CDC approved PPE just as for our “essential workers” in other government-run entities – masks, gloves, hand-washing and sanitizing, etc., then the risks can be reduced even further.

This is the same advice the experts are telling the rest of us to follow.

Either it works for teachers in classrooms just as it works for us fulfilling our daily responsibilities, like working and grocery shopping, or it does not.

Outside of teachers who may be especially vulnerable because of a health condition, teachers who contract COVID-19, like the rest of us, are expected to recover as they do with influenza, especially given the young age of most of our teaching population.

We all need to remind ourselves that 80% of those who become infected with this virus will only have mild to moderate symptoms, if any at all.

Today, unfortunately, our options for returning to normal life have been effectively hijacked by the loudest voices with the most irrational fears. Nonstop news stories with sensational headlines and distorted reporting only make things worse.

Media outlets consistently deliver the sloppy truth, but not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. For example, the fact that the average age of COVID death is 80 years is grossly under-reported. The same is true with the fact that 40% of Coronavirus deaths have occurred in nursing homes. This is staggering to consider.

On the other hand, the exceedingly rare cases of “otherwise healthy” individuals dying of Coronavirus is highlighted. Even more egregious are the sad, but infrequent stories of young COVID victims being presented without informing viewers of very relevant underlying conditions such as cancer, obesity, and auto-immune disorders.

This kind of fear-mongering is disheartening to observe. The fact that one has to dig and research in order to get the entire truth is unnerving and stirs up unnecessary fears and anxiety.

Overall, more than 99.0% of those infected will recover. The CDC now estimates that less than 1% (0.65%) of people infected with Covid-19 will not survive. This recovery rate (99.35%) includes those with significant underlying health conditions as well as those over 80 years old.

If these facts still don’t make the teachers feel safe, why not let those teachers who aren’t comfortable teach from home? Just reverse the virtual learning model. Let the kids come to class with a proctor or sub and the teacher can deliver his or her lesson from home. Or, better yet, let the stay at home teachers work with the stay at home kids.

If children will be coming home to “medically fragile” parents, grandparents or other family members, extra precautions can be implemented in those situations. If it is not feasible to protect the vulnerable family member, then that child may need to continue with the virtual experience.

In addition to the vital learning and socialization that occurs in classrooms, lunchrooms, and ball fields, kids need to get out of the house and away from mom and dad. I am not kidding either. This is really healthy for all sorts of reasons. And, the same goes for the parents as well.

So what is the goal of our academic leaders?

Is the goal to have zero tolerance for a positive infection at your school or is the goal to protect the most vulnerable? As a parent, we can discern our school’s priorities by observing their decision-making.

Protecting the vulnerable and preventing infections are two completely different objectives. They demand completely different plans. Keeping everyone safe, or doing no harm, is not practical or sustainable, and how would such a standard even be measured? How is “safe” or “harm” being defined? Your school should answers these questions.

Protecting the most vulnerable is one goal. Preventing additional infections is another goal. One is focused and achievable. The other is broad and unworkable.

If grownups are the reason kids can’t get back to regular life, then the academic leaders need to produce evidence to support such a disruptive conclusion.

Let’s be transparent on this point. Don’t blame the potential void of school, sports, and normal childhood experiences on the safety of the kids. It is simply not a defensible argument.

And suggesting otherwise is provoking all sorts of distress and confusion in communities across the nation. Furthermore, evidence that children are so called, “super-spreaders” of Coronavirus does not exist. To reiterate, growing evidence supports exactly the opposite conclusion.

As of this writing, there is scarce data available suggesting that reopening schools is dangerous to kids or the surrounding community. There is also no research to suggest it is 100% “safe.” But, were schools perfectly safe before COVID-19?

Across the globe, from South Africa to Finland and Japan, schools are opening, some without any restrictions, and the results so far are very encouraging. For example, Austria has reopened and dropped the masks after seeing little spread within the schools. In Canada, Norway, Sweden, and the UK, mask-wearing is optional.

Parent to parent, I challenge you to find any data or science to justify keeping kids from returning to their normal activities this fall. Pay attention to the constant media and academic refrain. It is all about “keeping the students safe.” You should be highly skeptical of this claim.

Moreover, keeping every student, teacher, and staffer “safe” is unreasonable and impractical. There always will be risks. There always have been.

After all, when, exactly, will things be “safe” again?

And, who is in charge of defining what “safe” really means? Has anyone answered that basic question? Learn how “safe” will be defined in your school or district, and who will make that determination…and what will be the indicators, or “red flags” that would change that assessment a month later.

Even with a flu vaccine, for example, over 45,000 people die of influenza each year, including 179 children in the 2018/2019 flu season. Are your children safe from the flu? This flu season alone, four times as many kids have died from the regular flu than from COVID-19.

Coronavirus has been devastating to friends and family who have lost loved ones. It has been a heavy burden on health care workers who served selflessly to bring about healing. It has been really tough on our children. It has crushed our previously robust economy, destroyed jobs, and ruined small businesses across the nation. It has been brutal.

Let’s not make things even worse by locking our kids (and subsequently many parents) down in what is largely a very inadequate substitute for the live campus and classroom experience.

Furthermore, in many lower income communities, students will miss out on much needed meals as well as hearing and vision assessments. Those with learning disabilities will forfeit the essential structure and support of a regular school day.

Child abuse, which has increased during the shutdown, will continue to go undetected. Poor children will suffer the most, expanding their learning gap. And young adults living in troubled neighborhoods will face additional threats and dangers with idle time on their hands.

Virtual schooling leaves a lot to be desired, especially when your child’s growth and development is at stake. It may work for some students, but it should not be mandated for all. If you don’t believe me, just sit in on one of your child’s remote classes.

Our children deserve better, and they are counting on you.

There are those in positions of power and influence who are using their authority and platforms to publicly discourage normalcy. With guaranteed incomes and time to spare, they appear content to just wait and see. But, for our kids, time is of the essence.

As parents, bombarded with contradictory information and surrounded by hysteria, it can be tempting to just sit in suspense wondering what will happen next. 

No doubt it is confusing when information and recommendations change on a week to week or even day to day basis. Who can you believe? Who can you trust?

Perhaps, at this point, then, some simple common sense will prove more valuable than evaluating fluctuating data points and competing “experts”?

If our children are prioritized, schools will reopen and activities will resume.

More than ever, your children need you to advocate for them right now.

It’s easy to be lulled into a state of passivity and simply do as you are told and go with the flow. But what we tolerate today eventually becomes accepted as the new normal.

Don’t let this happen.

Stand up. Speak out. Recruit others who are like-minded.

Make your voices heard.

The risk TO kids of serious infection is extremely low. The risk FROM kids transmitting infection to parents and other adults is also low.

But, without real school and after school activities, our kids will suffer. Parents will suffer. Employers will suffer. Workers will suffer. Our nation will suffer.

The unintended consequences will be steep.

The risks of reopening schools are uncertain; the harm of keeping children quarantined at home is clear.

Keeping kids locked down is not keeping them safe. It is harming them.

We can’t let this happen.

Pediatricians Answer This Question

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References

https://www.nejm.org/doi/pdf/10.1056/NEJMoa2006100?articleTools=true

https://www.sciencemuseumgroup.org.uk/blog/hunting-down-covid-19/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7268273/

https://www.rivm.nl/en/novel-coronavirus-covid-19/children-and-covid-19

https://www.vox.com/2020/7/9/21318560/covid-19-coronavirus-us-testing-children-schools-reopening-questions

https://www.businessinsider.com/cdc-estimate-40-percent-infected-with-covid-19-asymptomatic-2020-7

https://www.statesman.com/news/20200429/fact-check-did-fauci-say-coronavirus-was-lsquonothing-to-worry-aboutrsquo

https://www.businessinsider.com/who-no-transmission-coronavirus-tweet-was-to-appease-china-guardian-2020-4

https://www.businessinsider.com/americans-dont-need-masks-pence-says-as-demand-increases-2020-2

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/22/health/cdc-coronavirus-touching-surfaces.html

https://data.cdc.gov/NCHS/Provisional-COVID-19-Death-Counts-by-Sex-Age-and-S/9bhg-hcku

https://www.aei.org/carpe-diem/map-of-the-day-us-population-divided-by-one-thirds-of-covid-deaths/

https://gis.cdc.gov/grasp/COVIDNet/COVID19_3.html

https://www.cnn.com/videos/health/2020/05/27/anthony-fauci-second-wave-isnt-inevitable-if-we-do-these-things-sot-nr-vpx.cnn

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid19/excess_deaths.htm

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/69/wr/mm6919e5.htm

https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/index.html

https://www.coronavirus.gov/

https://www.webmd.com/

https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/advice-for-public/when-and-how-to-use-masks

https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp2006372

https://www.forbes.com/sites/theapothecary/2020/05/26/nursing-homes-assisted-living-facilities-0-6-of-the-u-s-population-43-of-u-s-covid-19-deaths

https://www.aappublications.org/news/2020/02/28/flu022820

https://news.yahoo.com/florida-teen-whose-mother-treated-224045289.html

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/coronavirus-death-rate/

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/2766121

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A Prayer For Our Nation

 

Heavenly Father,

 

Thank you for making us in your image—as individual souls, distinct and one-of-a-kind!

We praise you for the idea that is America and for everything that is true and noble and right about our nation.

Most especially, we thank you for our individual freedom and both the blessings and burdens that come along with it.

Thank you for our natural resources, our innovative businesses, our independent personality and for our giving spirit.

Forgive us now – both as individuals and as a nation—for turning away from your Word and your principles. Heighten our sensitivity to what is right and good.

Keep us Lord, from being passive, lazy or indifferent, and instead, instill within us the courage and drive to do mighty things for you right now.
Show us what we need to do today to promote and preserve the truth for tomorrow.

Renew a right spirit within us and soften our hearts with grace toward one another. Infuse us with a hunger for the truth. Grant each of us the discernment
to distinguish your direction in the midst of distraction.

Allow us to remain distinct and unique as a people, that shining city on a hill.
May our actions imitate you and your goodness. May our character reflect your character. May our stewardship glorify you.

And, may our leaders love you and be champions of your principles and your truth. We pray as one for Godly leadership throughout our nation,
and we ask that you protect us from anything else.

Grant us the guts to speak boldly and act wisely in defending the principles that matter most. Disrupt and dismantle any authority or schemes that would obscure your will and lead us away from your favor and glory.

Unify us once again as one nation under God, indivisible and with liberty and justice for all.

In Jesus name we pray, AMEN. 

The post God Bless America! appeared first on America's Success Coach.

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Should our children get back to school and resume their normal activities this fall, despite the presence of COVID-19?

Schools are in a tough spot.

How do we best serve our students while dealing with teachers and staff who are uncomfortable returning to the classroom? How do we restart school safely for everyone concerned? How do we make wise decisions with imperfect information?

How do we prioritize our students (and parents) while navigating the school board rules and local government mandates? And, do we allow parents any input in the decision-making process about their own children?

How are politics, local or national, influencing when or if we resume school? How will we deal with all the newest unknowns? What if things get worse? What if we wait just a little longer? What if we wait too long?

Parents are frustrated.

Will virtual learning be effective? Will my children thrive? What about their mental health? How will remote classes interfere with my work schedule? Who will watch my kids at home? Why haven’t we heard anything yet? When will real school return? Will it be safe? Will they have sports? Who’s looking out for my kid’s best interests? What if they just keep delaying? What’s at stake for my family? Is it this bad everywhere?

As a coach to entrepreneurs and their families for the last 29 years, I am in the business of helping my clients think about where they are headed and the best way to get there.

Many of my long-term clients use me as a sounding board to shake up their thinking, challenge their assumptions and discover their blindspots.

And, if you’re willing, that’s what I want to do for you in this post. I want to stretch and provoke your thinking for the purpose of helping your kids reach their full potential.

As with my clients, my job is not to change your mind but to sharpen your mind. If you have children or grandchildren, in school or college, this message applies to you.

Our kids need to get back into school, real school.

What’s driving this assertion?

I have been a child.

I am a parent.

I have examined the data.

I am applying common sense.

I also have education in my blood. Both of my grandmothers were teachers. One of my grandfathers was a junior high principal and the other was a teaching pastor. I even married a school teacher.

If you think it’s a good idea to keep kids at home learning virtually, I appreciate that point of view.

However, I strongly disagree.

Kids are not at serious risk with COVID-19. They need to get back in school.

In fact, with only basic precautions and slight modifications, the entirety of the school experience can safely resume for kids across the nation.

But, in many school districts, classes will remain online only. In other zip codes, public and independent schools will partially resume with expensive and draconian “safety” measures making them hardly recognizable compared to just six months ago.

Masks, plastic shields, one-way lines, static “bubble classrooms” for the entire day, no cafeteria, limited sports. You get the picture, right?

Interestingly, youth summer sports leagues, such as baseball, soccer, and lacrosse resumed in many areas in late May and early June. With very minimal precautions (temperature taking and most coaches wearing masks) young people have successfully resumed training and competition without disaster.

Untethered to academic institutions, these organizations chose to err on the side of normalcy for the sake of the kids.

They made prudent decisions.

Evidence is now mounting that children are not vectors for COVID-19 which helps explain the healthy success of youth summer sports programs. The most important evidence regarding pediatric transmission comes from Iceland, and their study published in NEJM. The senior author concluded that, 

“Even if children do get infected, they are less likely to transmit the disease to others than adults. We have not found a single instance of a child infecting parents.”

The genetic analysis in this study shows that children must be less likely to transmit the virus than adults.

Based on extensive contact tracing, the Ministry of Health in the Netherlands found almost no disease spread by infected patients 20 and under at all.

In Ireland, researchers compared infected children with infected adults. Despite identifying a total of 722 contacts for the infected children, the study found not a single instance of an infected child passing on the virus.

Additional data from France, Australia, Denmark, and other countries support the key finding that children play a reduced role in Coronavirus transmission.

To the contrary, the evidence points to adult-to-adult transmissions of COVID being the most likely cause of spread even within households.This is really good news for getting kids back to school and normal activities.

Children need in-person learning because the educational experience is about much more than simply absorbing subject matter in the classroom. The school years are about the overall growth and development of the child.

This includes social engagement, sports, the arts, academic curricula, and much more. Without in-room, real-life learning, your kids will not thrive as they ordinarily would.

If learning specific lessons is the main reason for going to school, then our older children have certainly wasted a lot of time all those years in the curricular and extra-curricular activities that previously kept them engaged, happy and thriving until about 6PM each day.

According to CDC data, adolescents are only at minimal risk of serious COVID infection, even less risk, almost zero risk, for fatality. This has been known for some time, and I previously wrote about this reality in another post in early June (The Challenge of a Nation).

Does this mean that no young person will contract and die from the virus? Unfortunately, it does not. And each death is tragic and heartbreaking, as are the far more common ways that children die every year.

These outlier COVID cases tend to involve young people with underlying conditions, particularly obesity and elevated inflammatory markers, and even so, the cases are extremely rare. In fact, they are far more rare than adolescent deaths from the flu this year.

And, I won’t even get into the risk of suicide. But, we should not, and cannot, dismiss the impact indefinite lockdowns and disruptions are having on the mental health of children and young adults.

We must do our best to reduce the threat to the most vulnerable amongst us while simultaneously moving forward with our jobs, our lives, and yes, with real school.

If the perfect safety (of everyone) is the standard, we will never return to normalcy. We cannot guarantee the safety of anyone. We never have been able to promise such a thing. We can only take reasonable steps to keep students, teachers, and staff safe.

If some children have medical conditions that make attending live classes truly unsafe, then those kids should attend virtually.

The big “story” being promoted, though, is that we have to keep the kids safe. If this is the reason schools don’t return to normal, you should vigorously object because it is misleading at best. It cannot be backed up by science.

If schools won’t open because teachers are too fearful to interact with children in the classroom, that is a fair concern. It should be noted however, that teaching is a very young profession in the United States with half of the teachers being under forty years old and another quarter younger than thirty.

These teachers are at very little risk of serious COVID infection. Overall, 90% of teachers are younger than age sixty, the age above which a greater (but still very small) percentage of infections become serious.

And, if the teachers practice “safe-teaching” with CDC approved PPE just as for our “essential workers” in other government-run entities – masks, gloves, hand-washing and sanitizing, etc., then the risks can be reduced even further.

This is the same advice the experts are telling the rest of us to follow.

Either it works for teachers in classrooms just as it works for us fulfilling our daily responsibilities, like working and grocery shopping, or it does not.

Outside of teachers who may be especially vulnerable because of a health condition, teachers who contract COVID-19, like the rest of us, are expected to recover as they do with influenza, especially given the young age of most of our teaching population.

We all need to remind ourselves that 80% of those who become infected with this virus will only have mild to moderate symptoms, if any at all.

Today, unfortunately, our options for returning to normal life have been effectively hijacked by the loudest voices with the most irrational fears. Nonstop news stories with sensational headlines and distorted reporting only make things worse.

Media outlets consistently deliver the sloppy truth, but not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. For example, the fact that the average age of COVID death is 80 years is grossly under-reported. The same is true with the fact that 40% of Coronavirus deaths have occurred in nursing homes. This is staggering to consider.

On the other hand, the exceedingly rare cases of “otherwise healthy” individuals dying of Coronavirus is highlighted. Even more egregious are the sad, but infrequent stories of young COVID victims being presented without informing viewers of very relevant underlying conditions such as cancer, obesity, and auto-immune disorders.

This kind of fear-mongering is disheartening to observe. The fact that one has to dig and research in order to get the entire truth is unnerving and stirs up unnecessary fears and anxiety.

Overall, more than 99.0% of those infected will recover. The CDC now estimates that less than 1% (0.65%) of people infected with Covid-19 will not survive. This recovery rate (99.35%) includes those with significant underlying health conditions as well as those over 80 years old.

If these facts still don’t make the teachers feel safe, why not let those teachers who aren’t comfortable teach from home? Just reverse the virtual learning model. Let the kids come to class with a proctor or sub and the teacher can deliver his or her lesson from home. Or, better yet, let the stay at home teachers work with the stay at home kids.

If children will be coming home to “medically fragile” parents, grandparents or other family members, extra precautions can be implemented in those situations. If it is not feasible to protect the vulnerable family member, then that child may need to continue with the virtual experience.

In addition to the vital learning and socialization that occurs in classrooms, lunchrooms, and ball fields, kids need to get out of the house and away from mom and dad. I am not kidding either. This is really healthy for all sorts of reasons. And, the same goes for the parents as well.

So what is the goal of our academic leaders?

Is the goal to have zero tolerance for a positive infection at your school or is the goal to protect the most vulnerable? As a parent, we can discern our school’s priorities by observing their decision-making.

Protecting the vulnerable and preventing infections are two completely different objectives. They demand completely different plans. Keeping everyone safe, or doing no harm, is not practical or sustainable, and how would such a standard even be measured? How is “safe” or “harm” being defined? Your school should answers these questions.

Protecting the most vulnerable is one goal. Preventing additional infections is another goal. One is focused and achievable. The other is broad and unworkable.

If grownups are the reason kids can’t get back to regular life, then the academic leaders need to produce evidence to support such a disruptive conclusion.

Let’s be transparent on this point. Don’t blame the potential void of school, sports, and normal childhood experiences on the safety of the kids. It is simply not a defensible argument.

And suggesting otherwise is provoking all sorts of distress and confusion in communities across the nation. Furthermore, evidence that children are so called, “super-spreaders” of Coronavirus does not exist. To reiterate, growing evidence supports exactly the opposite conclusion.

As of this writing, there is no data available suggesting that reopening schools is dangerous to kids or the surrounding community. There is also no research to suggest it is 100% “safe.” But, were schools perfectly safe before COVID-19?

Across the globe, from South Africa to Finland and Japan, schools are opening, some without any restrictions, and the results so far are very encouraging. For example, Austria has reopened and dropped the masks after seeing little spread within the schools. In Canada, Norway, Sweden, and the UK, mask-wearing is optional.

Parent to parent, I challenge you to find any data or science to justify keeping kids from returning to their normal actives this fall. Pay attention to the constant media and academic refrain. It is all about “keeping the students safe.” You should be highly skeptical of this claim.

Moreover, keeping every student, teacher, and staffer “safe” is unreasonable and impractical. There always will be risks. There always have been.

After all, when, exactly, will things be “safe” again?

And, who is in charge of defining what “safe” really means? Has anyone answered that basic question? Learn how “safe” will be defined in your school or district, and who will make that determination…and what will be the indicators, or “red flags” that would change that assessment a month later.

Even with a flu vaccine, for example, over 45,000 people die of influenza each year, including 179 children in the 2018/2019 flu season. Are your children safe from the flu? This flu season alone, four times as many kids have died from the regular flu than from COVID-19.

Coronavirus has been devastating to friends and family who have lost loved ones. It has been a heavy burden on health care workers who served selflessly to bring about healing. It has been really tough on our children. It has crushed our previously robust economy, destroyed jobs, and ruined small businesses across the nation. It has been brutal.

Let’s not make things even worse by locking our kids (and subsequently many parents) down in what is largely a very inadequate substitute for the live campus and classroom experience.

Moreover, in many lower income communities, students will miss out on much needed meals as well as hearing and vision assessments. Those with learning disabilities will forfeit the essential structure and support of a regular school day.

Child abuse, which has increased during the shutdown, will continue to go undetected. And young adults living in troubled neighborhoods will face additional threats and dangers with idle time on their hands.

Virtual schooling leaves a lot to be desired, especially when your child’s growth and development is at stake. It may work for some students, but it should not be mandated for all. If you don’t believe me, just sit in on one of your child’s remote classes.

Our children deserve better, and they are counting on you.

Bombarded with contradictory information and surrounded by hysteria, it can be tempting to just wait and see what happens next.

It is confusing when information and recommendations change on a week to week or even day to day basis? Who can you believe? Who can you trust?

Perhaps, at this point, some simple common sense will prove more valuable than evaluating fluctuating data points and competing “experts”?

If our children our prioritized, schools will reopen and activities will resume.

More than ever, your children need you to advocate for them right now.

It’s easy to be lulled into a state of passivity and simply do as you are told and go with the flow. But what we tolerate today eventually becomes accepted as the new normal.

Don’t let this happen.

Stand up. Speak out. Recruit others who are like-minded.

Make your voices heard.

The risk TO kids of serious infection is extremely low. The risk FROM kids transmitting infection to parents and other adults is also low.

But, without real school and after school activities, our kids will suffer. Parents will suffer. Employers will suffer. Workers will suffer. Our nation will suffer.

The unintended consequences will be steep.

The risks of reopening schools are uncertain; the harm of keeping children quarantined at home is clear.

Keeping kids locked down is not keeping them safe. It is harming them.

We can’t let this happen.

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As our country heads into the summer, we find ourselves with an abundance of data, opinions, and questions. But, there’s something more troubling we also find in abundance today—a deficit of common sense.

What exactly is common sense? Well, my grandmother referred to it as good old-fashioned horse-sense. Have you ever heard of that expression? I prefer to think of common sense as practical wisdom.

I’m talking about usable intelligence, that flows to us instinctively from ordinary life experience and a basic understanding of timeless principles and human nature.

It’s not fancy, sophisticated or expensive. And it is free to all who use it. You incur a cost only when you neglect to put it into practice.

But common sense hasn’t been so common, at least over the last few months. To a greater degree than most of us would be comfortable acknowledging, we have swapped common sense for groupthink or “crowd-think” as I heard it described recently. Unfortunately, we’re not currently facing a deficit of groupthink.

Groupthink is the tendency to conform to popular opinion. It most often reveals itself in rushed decisions, during crises, and when alternate perspectives and voices are not encouraged. 

Sometimes, group thinking is prevalent because consensus or a particular agenda is valued more than rational thinking or prudence.

More often than not, groupthink is the simple byproduct of intellectual laziness, impulsiveness, or a notion that everyone else knows the answers. And, sometimes it is just a reaction to fear and peer pressure.

Regardless, the collective power of groupthink tends to be counter-productive at best. In many instances, it can be tirelessly destructive—leading large groups of people to accept the herd mentality and go along with foolish ideas, even those that disregard truth or violate their cherished convictions.

Of course, at one time or another, we’ve all probably given into, or played along with, groupthink. The more immature we were, the more susceptible we were to be captivated by groupthink and popular opinion. 

Nevertheless, the more confident we are in the quality of our own thinking, the less likely we are to surrender our reasoning for the sake of a group.

If you are a responsible parent, you’ve likely attempted to empower your children to “think for themselves.” I don’t know about you, but if I heard that admonition once growing up, I heard it a thousand times.

And, looking back, my worst decisions seemed to coincide with violating this principle of “thinking for myself.” That’s probably not just a coincidence, right? Consider your worst decisions. Most likely they weren’t really your decisions—except for the fact that you agreed to follow a much louder group versus your quieter inner voice.

When you think for yourself, you are more likely to make smart choices that move your career, relationship, health, and overall life in a positive direction. I strongly suspect our Creator gave each of us separate brains so that we would use them as distinct individuals, not simply to parrot the communal thought processes of our neighbors. 

After all, each of us look and sound a bit different. We have distinct personalities. We have unique fingerprints and a one-of-a-kind DNA. Naturally then, we should think as individual beings, not as collective units. This means, we’ve been given the natural tools, voices, and in this country the freedom, to disagree—to have our own thoughts, perspectives, and opinions.

In my new ebook, The Challenge of a Nation, I highlight some very surprising information that will help crush fear and fuel optimism for the months ahead.

You can read it here.

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Coach’s Notes:

This is Part 2. Click Here for Part 1.

In this week’s special two-part episode of AchievingOPTIMAL I’m  speaking with clinical psychologist Dr. Mark Crawford.

This show was recorded LIVE at Barnsley Resort during our recent Couples Planning Retreat.

We’re going to be chatting about goals, relationships, and the science of marriage.

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Your Marriage Blesses Others!

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Success is a planned outcome, not an accident. Success, casually defined as getting what YOU want out of a relationship, a job, or just life in general, is a very good thing.

This is what normal, hard-working, mentally healthy people want for their children and it’s what normal, hard-working, mentally healthy people want for themselves as well. But, this success won’t just happen by accident!

Success, as well as mediocrity (chronic underperformance), are both absolutely predictable because they follow the natural and immutable law of sowing and reaping.

Simply stated, if you want to reap more rewards, you must sow more service, contribution, and value. This is a no-nonsense, common sense formula for being a good steward of your time, talent and treasure.

God’s blessings have prerequisites! If we want to reap, we have to sow. Sometimes the sowing won’t work out so well, so we must wait longer than we’d like to reap success. Sometimes we clumsily and unknowingly plant the wrong seeds. Big deal. We start over.

So, we have to replant, hopefully, this time learning from our mistakes. So next time, we pray then plant just enough of the right seeds, but this time, we neglect to water and nurture the seeds, and success eludes us once more.

Here we go again. Now we plant plenty of the right seeds AND take exceptional care of those seeds, nurturing them with everything we’ve got. Unfortunately, a big storm comes along and washes aways the amazing seeds. This isn’t fun anymore.

But what is the alternative? So, we plant again…and pray a bit more this time…and nurture those seeds, of course. Weather works out for us this time, and with a grateful heart, we give thanks for an abundant crop!

Success in life is not based on need, but on seed. Either you become really good at planting in the springtime or really good at begging and stealing in the fall.

The Bible says, “Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” Unfortunately, many well-meaning folks have been deceived, confused, tricked, and misled into believing they will not be held accountable for their choices and that they will miraculously harvest something other than what they planted.

This is not the truth.

This dangerously popular distortion promotes mediocrity, victimhood, and underachievement. Consider the effort and expense Americans undertake to solve and cure diseases and social ills while they do very little, if anything, to avoid them.

It is popular today to treat symptoms, but it is commonly considered insensitive, intolerant, or otherwise offensive to speak aloud or otherwise address the root and often obvious causes of pervasive problems. As a result, a toxic attitude, that denies that effects really do have causes, continues to fester in our society.

Are YOU planting the right seeds?

By design, there are no exceptions to the law of causality. It is impartial and impersonal, and it comes to us in a particular order – sow then reap. This is not my truth or your truth. This is the truth.

If you want to repel what you really, really want in life, then disregard what you’ve just read. Otherwise, to live a successful, impactful life, make sure you are continuously organizing (and reorganizing) your thoughts, words, and behaviors with this law in mind.

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Your Marriage Blesses Others!

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This is not breaking news! Every husband and every wife are imperfect, both gifted and flawed in numerous, often unpredictable ways. Consequently, nowhere is the apostle Paul’s advice from Philippians 4:8 more valuable, more practical, or more enduring than in the arena of marriage. 

Consider that every thought you think about your spouse either strengthens or weakens the foundation of the relationship. 

Thoughts about your husband are not neutral. Thoughts about your wife are not neutral. Every thought matters. Warm, caring thoughts build up; cold, selfish thoughts tear down. 

Thinking critically about your spouse, even if you believe it is warranted, will postpone true intimacy and the closeness you both desire. As relentlessly as you may try, you cannot think one thing about your mate and experience something different in the relationship. 

Much of the negative thinking about your spouse occurs when he or she is not around. Nonetheless, the effects of this “invisible” negativity will, in due course, become visible in your common space as a couple. 

In what ways could some 4:8 thinking bring out the best in your spouse this weekend and beyond?

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Show Notes:

I want to tell you the truth about positive self-talk and show you how to get started with it.

What is self-talk?

Self-talk is the inner dialogue that runs all the time, that inner voice, sometimes positive, sometimes negative.

We all talk to ourselves.

I used to be skeptic of self-talk until I realized how many world class athletes use positive self-talk as part of the overall preparation ritual, in particular, right before events.

I started using it, and I believe so highly in the efficacy that I’ve taught it for more than 30 years.

More importantly, you can tell what someone truly believes in by what they share with those that they love. For example, I have provided my children self talk scripts over and over again. I have made them CD’s and mp3’s. I have practiced positive affirmations with them repeatedly.

When I had only been dating my wife Kristin for maybe 2 months, I made a whole stack of notecards for her with positive affirmations on them.

Does it feel a little hokey to do positive self-talk?

Absolutely.

But the option is to leave your inner dialogue, which is going to happen one way another, to chance. And you don’t want to do that.

Affirmation vs Self-talk

Affirmation is something that is more intentional.

Self-talk is automatic, and can be either positive or negative.

“An affirmation is a perfect expression of faith”

Question: “If you had full faith in God, or your abilities, or that a particular event was going to turn out favorably for you, how would you speak to yourself?”

Your self talk will be either random, or intentional. Positive or negative.

Self-talk either supports your goals, or conflicts and inhibits them.

If you are consciously wanting to reach a goal, but unconsciously, there is this voice that is telling you, you can’t do it…This causes you to be double-minded, and when you are double-minded you are unstable, and certainly not optimal.

I want you to be consistent and congruent.

In fact, I want your prayers, thoughts, words, and behaviors to all be in sync.

Now, we are never going to be perfect with this, but we can work at it and get better and better indefinitely.

In todays session I want to encourage you to revisit the power and benefits of positive self-talk.

Benefits of intentional, positive self-talk:

1.

The most important benefit of positive self-talk is that it has a displacement value.

In other words, when you’re saying something positive and encouraging, you are displacing something negative or mediocre that may have otherwise been occupying space in your mind.

So when I’m saying:

“I fell healthy, I feel happy, I feel terrific.”

Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.

But by saying that I am giving my brain an instruction for what I want it to help me create.

More importantly, I’m displacing any negative thought that may be lingering in my mind.

Back when I was still playing baseball I would talk to myself in a positive way before I got up to bat.

“See the ball, see the ball, see the ball, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it”

This is not some magic pill. But when I am saying these constructive things, the negative thoughts don’t have any place to disrupt my thinking.

2.

Because you are intentionally filling your mind with the right thoughts, you become very sensitive to circumstances, to other thought impulses, to what other people are saying.

You become highly sensitized to as to whether or not your thought life is supportive of the goals you want to reach, whether, for example, what you’re watching in the evening is moving you toward your goal or away from your goal.

The more that you are affirming who you want to become and what you want to achieve, the more sensitive you become to your own self talk and whether or not it is alignment with who you want to become.

This creates another benefit, which is an accountability mechanism.

3.

If you’re constantly affirming what you want and you’re not behaving in a manor consistent with that intention, you will “call yourself out.” This “self-coaching” is very powerful and productive.

4.

Because you have this built-in accountability mechanism, it minimizes drift.

Drift, as I’ve observed over the decades, is the main reason people get off track.

They don’t just fall off track all at once. They drift just a little bit at a time.

A little bit, A little bit. A little bit.

That’s how people get off track in any area in life. It’s very seldom abrupt. Its drift, drift, drift.

With positive self talk, there is a protective stop, a firewall, that prevents you from getting too far off track without realizing it.

5.

When you use positive self-talk, your confidence is boosted.

The more you are using positive self talk intentionally, the less you will be distracted by negative unintentional thoughts that weaken your confidence.

You will no longer be dependent on others building you up, and you will have a defense for those who bring you down.

Positive self-talk takes time to help your performance. It is like planting a seed. Most people who’ve practiced positive self-talk give up too soon, before the seeds begin to grow.

How to screw up your self talk. (Don’t do this!)

1. Be reactive and just let it happen. This takes no effort at all. You let your circumstances determine what thoughts you think…being on mental autopilot.

2. Thinking that positive self talk is a quick fix. It is a fix, but it is not a quick fix. You have to plan’t the seeds and be confidently patient, like you would in planting a garden or sticking with your diet.

It is estimated that we think 50,000 thoughts a day. How many of those thoughts are congruent with the person you intend to become? The purpose of self talk is to increase that number, day by day by day.

3. Neglecting to align your behavior with your self-talk and affirmation. We want your self-talk to be a support mechanism for your goal achievement. You can’t just sit on the couch and practice positive self-talk and reach your goals. Not going to happen like that.

How to get started with self-talk

Focus. Pick a particular goal.

Maybe it’s a relationship goal, fitness goal, or financial goal.

Write it as specifically and clearly as you can with a deadline.

Draft 10 supporting statements.

These 10 statements are your affirmations or positive self-talk statements.

Put them on a notecard so that you can flip through them throughout the day.

Use the PEPP formula.

Postive.

Emotion Provoking.

Personal.

Present tense.

For example, if you had a goal to get lean, you might think and repeat to yourself:

“I am lean and strong”

“I eat the right amount for perfect fitness”

“I drink my bodyweight in ounces”

“I have great self-discipline”

“I exercise daily”

Etc…

Put one affirmation per notecard.

Review it and flip through the notecards as frequently as possible.

Recap.

-Self talk is a tool, not a magic wand.

-Repetition and emotion produce results.

-Work on one area of your life at a time, then spread this practice to another area of your life.

-Make intentional self-talk part of your daily success discipline.

Remember my job is to help you reach the right goals faster, because….

Your Success Blesses Others!

The post How Do You Talk To Yourself? appeared first on America's Success Coach.

Show Notes:

In this weeks episode of AchievingOPTIMAL I want to focus on a fundamental practice that drives your entire thought process.

This fundamental is: Positive Mental Nutrition.

In fact, if you’re not aware of Positive Mental Nutrition (and especially negative mental nutrition) it can really drain you of energy and motivation.

Think about this… to achieve a healthy body you’ve got to have the right quantity and variety of nutrient dense foods. You’ve got to drink the right amount of water, workout, sleep, and take the right supplements.

If you wanted to be healthy, you wouldn’t skip sleep, stop working out, eat unhealthy, greasy and sugary foods.

Let’s say you wanted to lose weight… you would decide in advance: here are the foods I’m going to eat, and here are the foods I’m not going to eat, 

That’s your physical diet. Maybe low carb, or low fat? Who knows?

Whatever diet you choose, you are deciding in advance what you’re going to consume and what you’re not going to consume .

Now for your mindset… how do you develop a positive mindset?

You consume Positive Mental Nutrition.

To upgrade your mindset, decide in advance what you’re going to feed yourself mentally.

One of the things I’ve found working with clients over the years is that they’ve got to stock their fridge and pantry with healthy food and drink choices if they want to reach their goal of becoming physically fit.

If they are really committed to being healthy and fit, and they are clear on what they should eat and shouldn’t eat, but their fridge and pantry are stocked with unhealthy options, that creates a much higher likelihood of failure. Keeping unhealthy food at home moves them away from their goal and often triumphs because it forces an extra degree of discipline to stick with their diet when you are in the presence of junk food.

The same exact thing is true with your mental diet.

The key is to prep your environment.

Think of this as your “mental fridge” or “mental pantry.”

Only keep things that make you healthier and more joyful around in your surroundings.

“A healthy mind produces joy like a healthy body produces energy”

If you don’t have joy, that should tell you that something is not right. Joy is your natural state.

A lack of joy can almost always can be traced back to negative mental nutrition. Allowing junk in your mind shifts your focus to what’s missing or deficient or broken.

If you’re low on energy, it’s likely because you’re not eating or drinking the right things.

There’s a very interesting parallel between healthy physical nutrition and Positive Mental Nutrition.

Feeding yourself mentally with highly nutritiousness thoughts, images and ideas is pretty simple.

It’s easy to do that if you are intentional.

If you will just commit to 15 minutes a day of making sure that you consume Positive Mental Nutrition, it can transform your mindset.

If you transform your mindset, you transform your habits.

If you transform your habits, then you start to get better results.

The 15 Minute Miracle

I often call this the 15 minutes miracle.

Let’s do some math.

15 minutes every day for a week ends up being 1 hour and 45 minutes.

So what if you took 15 min each day to fill your mind with something inspiring, motivational, educational, or informative.

You could swap out 15 minutes of watching random TV episode or scrolling through social media.

Or just wake up an extra 15 minutes early to create this opportunity time.

15 minutes a day is….

1 hour 45 minutes a week

7 and a half hours a month

22 and a half hours a quarter

90 hours a year… that’s two 45 hour work weeks.

This could transform your life.

Why 15 minutes?

I wanted to show you how just a little bit every day can make a huge difference.

Imagine if you did an hour a day.

It would come out to 15, 24-hour days. Or 46, 8-hour days.

That is like a month and a half of work.

We know that it is very important to guard your heart, which means to guard your mind, because whatever goes in, comes out.

If it comes out, it was at some point put in.

That is why it is important to not let things into your system that move you way from the person that you’re capable of becoming.

It’s really important to be strategic about what you allow into your mind.

Often the reason that you’re not feeling 1000%, that you’re not as ambitious or motivated as you would like to be, or excited about the future, is because you’re feeding yourself the wrong mental diet.

You are a sponge.

We are constantly soaking up everything around us.

Everything counts.

You don’t have to be obsessive… but maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Pay attention to the things that you read, watch, and listen to. And this includes surfing the Internet, conversing with other people, etc…All of this shapes and molds your mindset which means it shapes and molds your outlook on life, the habits and activities you engage in, and ultimately the results that you generate.

My challenge to you…

Chose a time during the day to take 15 minutes to make sure you are consuming Positive Mental Nutrition.

Two good options:

The first 15 minutes in the morning or the last 15 minutes before bed.

During this 15 minute stretch, inspire yourself.

Read the Bible.

Read an inspirational book.

Read something that will elevate your relationships.

Read something that will allow you to serve others better.

Other opportunities…

In the car or train while you are commuting.

While you are exercising.

While doing chores or cleaning up around the house.

While you are showering.

Anytime you are doing a mindless task, try listening to an audiobook or podcast.

Instead of letting your mind roam free, try loading it with Positive Mental Nutrition.

Know where you are.

It’s really easy to think you’re doing well in this area, when maybe you’re not.

Be excellent in this area.

Be sure that you are strong and consistent with you mental diet.

Know what you’re consuming.

In light of your goals, are you consuming the right quality and quantity of Positive Mental Nutrition?

If you’re not, let’s make some adjustments.

What do you listen to first thing in the morning? What do you see? What do you read? What are you absorbing mentally first thing in after awakening?

Same thing for the evening.

Right before bed, what do you tend to be thinking about? Or consuming?

It is so easy today to fill ourselves with good and bad. Choose good.

Ask yourself:

In light of my goals… what should I read more, what should I listen to more, what should I watch more?

In light of my goals… what should I stop reading, stop listening to, or stop watching?

Recap:

Positive Mental Nutrition: Deliberate productive inputs, what you read, watch and listen to on a consistent basis.

Everything counts. What you consume either directly or indirectly influences every decision you make.

It is important that your reach your full potential because…

Your Success Blesses Others!

The post Are You On The Right Mental Diet? appeared first on America's Success Coach.

Show Notes:

Dominate Your 20s

If you’re in your 20s or if you have loved ones such as your children who are in theirs 20s, this show is for you.

Over the years, I have worked with many teenagers and young adults on what it takes to succeed ensuring they have the right foundation for success.

Your 20s is an amazing decade of life, especially when it comes to establishing the foundation of a high-character, high-performance way of living.

What you do, or what you neglect to do, between graduation from college and your 30th birthday is huge. It sets the tone for the rest of your life.

Avoid the mindset of the “extended college mentality” or “extended college lifestyle.”

If you haven’t already, now that you’re out in the real world, you want to start thinking like a totally responsible individual.h

When you wake up on your 30th birthday, be where you want to be in life.  Accomplish what you intend to accomplish.

Think about your 20s as your freshman decade.

You’re in your freshman decade right now. What does that mean to you?

A lot is going to happen in this age range that will influence the rest of your life.

Your 20s is the ideal time to set the foundation for an exceptional life, to create the habits that will build the momentum going forward.

You don’t want to make it to age 32, then look back and say, “I wasted a lot of time.” That will be a painful moment and painful realization.

Here are some recommendations to help you achieve your best. Compare yourself against these standards and see how you measure up.

Train to win.

Train to win. Train to crush it. I want you to be one of the most successful people you know on your 30th birthday. Zoom in on that picture.

Seize the decade.

How do you do that? You seize the decade by seizing each and every day. And that begins with thinking back from the future.

Define optimal. 

I want you to define what optimal is.

I want you to think about what would make your life perfect at age 35.

If you had everything you wanted at age 35, what would you have? What would be true, that’s not 100% true today?

What would be in your life? Who would be in your life? What and who would NOT be in your life?

Define that now.

Invest a couple of hours reflecting about what you really really want. Then plan back from that.

Ask yourself the same questions for age 30, then 28 and 26 and so on. This is the piece that is often not done.

It is real easy to move on in life without having a long time perspective.

“You should be very very interested in your future because your going to be spending the rest of your life there”

Set meaningful goals.

Don’t stress about it. You can always change them later.

Establish meaningful goals.

“Think with your fingers.” Either with old fashioned pen and paper – write out the things you want to be true. Or create a document.

Clarify what you want…

Relationally

Financially 

Career

Fitness

Faith

Fun

etc…

Define what you want, why you want it, and how you’re going to go about getting it.

Get serious about success. Unfortunately, not that many people are very serious about success.

You will be the exception.

Build success character.

If you are in your early 20s or that general phase of life.

You probably grew up with many different influences shaping what you believe about the world.

Today, I’m not covering the soft character qualities like compassion, empathy, patience, etc…

These are important. But what I want to talk about is success character.

This will be the difference that will accelerate your progress and help you get from where you are now to where you really want to be down the road.

-Winning mindset.

-Work ethic.

-Focus

-Intentional relationships.

-Service and value creation.

Winning Mindset.

It begins with your outlook or worldview.

Be a good steward of your potential. This is an obligation that you have. Become everything that God created you to become.

Success is about stewardship.

You have been given talents, time, opportunities, and it’s very important that whatever you multiply what you have been given. This is stewardship. 

Believe in abundance.

If you apply the principles of success, plant the right seeds, and refuse to give up, you can succeed and everyone else around you can succeed as well. All truly successful individuals understand this.

We can all succeed and maximize our full potential.

Success in real life is not a zero sum game.

The flip side of this is the “poverty mindset.” Or scarcity mindset.

“If you win, then I loose”

“If you earn more, I earn less”

“When you become more successful, it makes me less successful. ” “There’s not enough to go around.” This is all nonsense.

Stay away from people who think or talk like this. Avoid exposure that promote this toxic mentality.

Success is a blessing.

Your success blesses others.

When you succeed you create a ripple effect.

For example, when someone starts a business and the business does well it creates jobs.

When you succeed, it’s almost impossible to not bring other people with you.

Self image. (How you think about yourself right now)

A lot of your mindset has to do with how you see yourself.

This is generally developed by what you say to yourself and what you believe.

It is also developed based on what the people you love and care about say about you.

Self ideal. (Future image of yourself, who you might one day become.)

Everybody has a self-ideal. Be more intentional and deliberate with the development of this mental construct. Otherwise you will be on autopilot and let others shape your destiny.

In your 20s you can make your life whatever you want to want to make of it if…

…If you are willing to get clear on what you’re trying to accomplish and are willing to work really hard.

4:8 Mindset (Optimistic Mindset)

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

In any situation you have the choice to either focus on the good or the bad.

Extreme ownership (see Jocko Willink)

Ownership of your thoughts.

Ownership of your words.

Ownership of your actions.

Create an excuse free zone.

Say “I am responsible” all the time.

It may be painful at first, but it is actually very freeing.

Pretending to be a victim slows your growth.

Work Ethic

In your 20s, outwork everyone.

Leverage your discretionary time.

Evenings. Weekends. Vacations.

In your 20s, be more focused on preparing for your 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s than simply entertaining yourself.

Make sure you are using extra time every day to get ahead, to do more than the average person.

If you just do what everyone else is doing, you can only go at that pace, which produces mediocrity at best.

Sleep and Work

There is a phase of life when for at least 5 nights a week, you go to sleep early and you get up early and you go to work.

Stress and recovery!

Don’t maintain a lifestyle form college where you stay up late and sleep in until the last possible moment.

Focus

Focus and concentration produce success. It’s really that simple. Distraction is enemy #1.

Lack of concentration and diffusion of focus produces failure. (Being scattered)

Thinking about too many things at the same time is a prescription for underperformance.

Two Types of Focus:

Task Focus and Long-term focus.

Task focus is working on a specific task. This is single minded focus.

This is stating on task until the task is complete. This is not checking your phone or multitasking.

Research shows multitasking or toggling between tasks drastically reduces productivity.

Long-term (sustained) focus.

This is having a 1 year, or 3 year, goal and being able to stick with it until it is achieved.

If you have finished college, that is amazing. That is an example of sustained focus.

Your 35th birthday will come much quicker than you think.

When you wake on your 35th birthday, you are going to wake up to a certain set of circumstances and conditions and success or lack thereof.

Now is the time to change what age 35 looks like.

Set 3-5 short term goals that motivate you.

Choose goals that have powerful and positive rewards when you reach them so that it motivates you.

Set goals that make you want to get up early and stay up late to push towards your goal. If you don’t have motivation like this, change your goals. 

Develop a goal map.

This is a collage of pictures that are symbolic of what you are trying to accomplish or who you are trying to become.

You can either do it on a poster board with pictures cut out of a magazine.

Some people prefer making a keynote or powerpoint that they can flip through every morning.

Weekly Evaluation.

I encourage you to take 10-15 minutes sometime on Sunday to review how you have performed in the last week.

Ask yourself:

What has gone well?

What hasn’t gone well?

What do I need to do differently?

This will speed up the learning curve and prevent you from making the same mistakes over and over again.

Relationship building.

You want to make connections with other individuals that will be a part of your community of success.

Make connections, join groups, get around other success-oriented individuals.

Establish friendships with your goals in mind.

Keep track of the people that you’re meeting and getting to know.

Make notes so you can keep track of the goals and dreams of the people around you.

Ultimately, you want to focus on adding value to the people that you are meeting.

Seek to help the people you meet. This is huge!

The way to reach your goals is to help as many other people reach their goals.

Develop a list of the most important 10-20 people in your life and look at it frequently.

Build relationships before you need them.

Service

Our rewards in life will be in direct proportion to the value we add to the marketplace.

I’m referring to service in the sense of adding value and contributing to people in the marketplace.

Find out how people want to be served and then serve them better than anyone else.

Find out how you can be more valuable to your boss, your customers and your co-workers.

Get obsessed with making yourself more valuable.

To earn more, you have to learn more and serve more.

Go the extra mile.

Pay the price now.

Your 20s is your launching pad decade.

Plant the right seeds.

Delay gratification.

Train to win.

Your Success Blesses Others!

The post Dominate Your 20s appeared first on America's Success Coach.

Show Notes:

Questions shape your thinking….and your thinking shapes your life – Coach

The power of questions.

Questions are very powerful because they steer your thinking in either an upward or downward direction.

We constantly ask ourselves questions…and answer those questions…for better or worse.

As your coach, I ask questions to help you get to the next level.

If you get into habit of asking yourself productive questions, you will create a positive mental atmosphere.

Questions redirect your thinking from something okay to something excellent.

They steer your focus toward productive aims.

They have a displacement value. Strong questions push out weak questions.

If you train yourself to ask quality questions, you can defeat negativity.

Many people drive themselves into discouragement by asking self-defeating questions.

Productive questions spawn additional productive questions…and productive thinking is the result.

I use the following five questions to upgrade the thinking of my clientele.

I encourage you to use these as well.

Question 1: What’s Your Goal?

“We have all been in situations where we’ve almost enjoyed wallowing in negative emotions. We nurse a grudge against someone who said something hurtful, or we sulk in response to being disappointed. But what is the end result? Will acting on the negative emotion move us in the direction of our highest good? Will that negative emotion bless those closest to us? Will it help us reach our goals? In a marriage spat, for example, is the goal to be right or to be happy?

What’s your goal?

I bombard my clients with this question for the purpose of activating their God-given reason and conscience, thereby enhancing their spontaneous decision making. Your goal should act as a filter, eliminating words, behaviors, and other emotional responses that oppose it.”

From p.213 of 40 Days to a Joy Filled Life.

By asking the question, you’re going to make better MICRO-CHOICES all day long.

We make so many small choices every day and we don’t notice them, but they accumulate.

Over time, those small choices add up.

“As a parent, for example, your emotional responses can be tempered by a clearly stated parenting goal-such as communicating love, not impatience, to your children- that weeds out irresponsible parental reactions regardless of their apparent justification.

Certainly, you will have negative triggers in your life from time to time. Fortunately, Got has provided a little gap of opportunity for his most valuable creation. This tiny space between stimuli and your response to it gives you a chance to think before you react. This will shape not only your potential for joy but also your destiny as a human being.

What’s your goal?”

What’s your goal?

Ask yourself: “What’s my goal?”

Don’t let the radio, or music, or social media drive you’re thinking.

YOU drive your own thinking by thinking about your goals.

I have found that decision making is very difficult if we are not clear on our goals.

Ask “WHAT’S MY GOAL” daily!

Question 2: What’s the most valuable use of your time right now?

Ask yourself: Whats the most valuable use of my time right now?

Constantly check yourself. Ask this question over and over again thought the day.

When you constantly ask yourself this question it prevents you from drifting off track.

Often, in the work environment, we drift towards the activities that are third in importance or second in importance.

The purpose of this question is to steer us back to number one.

Closely related is the next question…

Question 3: Whats important now?  (W.I.N.)

I remember when my oldest son Ty was in the first or second grade and I wanted to help him stay focused in class.

Before parent’s night, I had a bunch of business cards created with “W.I.N. What’s Important Now” printed on them.

I went in on parent’s night and stuck a whole bunch of them in his desk (and later his book bag) so that he would eventually see them…and see them over and over again.

My goal was to prompt him repeatedly to remember our conversations about goals and focus.

Ask yourself early and often, “What’s important now?.”

What was important yesterday, an hour ago, or even fifteen minutes ago, may not be what is important NOW.

So ask throughout the day!

Question 4: Is it optimal?

This questions means a lot to me. It is very simple.

Is it optimal?

Or

Is this optimal?

The reason this is so profound is because we often settle for okay or fine.

Have you seen those AT&T commercials?

“Just OK is not OK”

I often open my talks with these videos.

Sometimes we get used to things being okay.

As long as its not “bad” we accept it.

You want to start asking yourself “Is it optimal?”

There are some things that are sub-optimal and there are things that are optimal.

Always pursue optimal.

…With how you run your life.

…With what you’re eating.

…With what you’re thinking.

Is this optimal?

Question 5: What’s the number one thing you could be doing, that if you did it constantly, would have the most positive impact on your life?

What is it?

This is a question that you can not escape or avoid.

We could tailor this question specifically for different areas of your life.

What’s the number one thing you could be doing, that if you did it constantly, would have the most positive impact on your marriage?

What’s the number one thing you could be doing, that if you did it constantly, would have the most positive impact on your financial life?

These questions harness both your creativity and your ability to focus tightly on what really makes a difference.

These questions move you toward optimal, toward the best that is possible.

These questions help you be more successful.

These questions help you maximize your God-given potential.

Why is this important?

Because….

Your Success Blesses Others!

The post 5 Questions High Achievers Ask appeared first on America's Success Coach.

Show Notes:

New Year’s resolutions are for Losers!

Winners set goals!

It’s that time of year…

I want to talk about something that really works.

New Year’s resolutions don’t work.

Research indicates about half are broken before the end of January and 90% by Valentine’s day.

You are above New Year’s resolutions! You are a goal directed high achiever!

New Year’s resolutions are often vague…

“eat healthier”

“get fit”

“handle money better”

Virtually no value at all.

Unless an intention is specific enough to drive action steps and allows someone to hold you accountable then there is no value.

Research shows they don’t work.

If there is no plan or process in place to follow through then you will tend to keep on doing the same thing you have always done. And you will get the same results you always have.

So what works?

Goals Work

Here is why:

Goals tell your brain what to notice and what to pay attention to.

Once you have a properly formulated goal, you start seeing opportunities and noticing things that you otherwise would not have noticed.

Because you notice these things, you take action.

And because you take action, you reach your goal.

The more specific your goal the more activated that awareness becomes.

We all have goals…

Our brain interprets whatever we think about the most as a goal.

It’s kind of scary, but it’s true.

Whatever we dwell upon gets interpreted as a goal.

It could be something negative or wanting to get away from.

It could be a flaw or something you are worried about.

You have to be careful about what you are thinking about.

With your goals, I want you to…

1. Clarify what you want.
2. Why you want it.
3. What are the action steps?

I tell my clients to “THINK HUGE”

I challenge them to set goals that they do not know how to achieve.

You want your goals to be big and meaningful.

little goals = little motivation

Big goals = Big motivation

Set Big goals if you want Big motivation.

Because little goals don’t produce a big reward, you can become demotivated.

Set goals for all key areas of life.

• Faith/ Spiritual Life
• Marriage/ Relationship
• Parenting
• Business
• Health/Fitness
• Adventure/Fun
• Savings

After you set your goal…

You develop a plan of action.

Identify why you want it.

Identify potential obstacles. What are the things in your way that might slow you down?

Layout checkpoints and milestones. Figure out where you should be at each checkpoint.

Use the feedback at each checkpoint to course correct and stay on track. 

Rewrite your goals daily.

Rewrite your top 3-5 goals, by hand, every day.

Write them in sentence form and include the date.

Ex. “By December 31, 2020, I …… “

Lay out very specifically what you want to accomplish.

Re-write the goal as if you writing it for the first time.

Look at and review your goals throughout the day.

Invite accountability.

Invite accountability from a like-minded individual.

Identify people you trust and respect and share those 3-5 goals with them.

Check-in on each other to make sure you are staying on track.

In 2020… Don’t be a cliche New Year’s resolution setter… Be a goal directed, high performance individual.

Your Success Blesses Others.

The post New Year’s Resolutions are for Losers! appeared first on America's Success Coach.

Show Notes:

E.M.S.R. 

Your “Early Morning Success Ritual” is one of the most important acts of discipline you can practice. It is the foundation of a productive day. What you do first thing in the morning sets the tone for the entire day. 

Strong early morning success ritual = strong day.

Mornings have consequences. 

What you do first thing in the morning has a ripple effect on the rest of the day. 

Why don’t people go to the trouble to develop a E.M.S.R that really works? 

They don’t realize the value + laziness

“The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day” – Henry Ward Beecher 

“Million dollar habit”

3 Reasons: 

Reason 1: Weak Ambition or Motivation

If you’re not that ambitious, if you don’t have huge goals, then it’s real easy to not think the morning matters. Why not stay up late, wake up late, and just go through the motions?

Some people think they are not a morning person. I think this is B.S. Over the years I have found that people with a well designed E.M.S.R. and a big enough WHY, will be motivated to wake up early…regardless of how they’ve labeled themselves in the past. I have converted many, many individuals who once described themselves as “not morning people.”

Fix: Have HUGE goals and know your WHY. 

Reason 2: No Clear Focus 

Problem: You wake up early to start your morning routine, but once you are up, you don’t have a plan for what you are going to do. 

What constitutes a successful E.M.S.R.?  

What has to happen for you to consider your Early Morning Success Ritual to be optimal? 

If you don’t have a clear focus you will be scattered. You will be thinking about what you should do next, and you will probably fall out of the habit before it locks into place. 

Design an E.M.S.R. that is fun, fresh, productive, and engaging. 

The three main areas I encourage you to engage are: 

1. Spiritual -> devotion, prayer, bible study, review bible verse, meditating, gratitude
2. Directional -> looking at goals, short term and/or long term, reviewing personal mission statement, affirmations
3. Physical -> some kind of movement, workout, stretch, walk

Fix: Have a clear plan for WHAT you will do and WHEN you will do it 

Reason 3: Lack of preparation 

Get ready for you morning routine the night before 

“Set the table” 

Be obsessive with your preparation. If you are going to workout in the morning, set out your workout clothes. If you are going to journal, or review your goals, make sure you have those items located, organized, and available for use in the morning when you might be a bit groggy. 

The idea is to minimize the number of decisions you have to make in the morning. 

If you can do any chores the night before instead of waiting until the morning, go ahead and get them done. 

Fix: Get everything ready so there is no setup, no hunting for what you need, and no decision-making in the morning. 

Sleep 

You must get sufficient sleep, preferably optimal sleep. Choose your bedtime based on the time you must get up to not be rushed during your E.M.S.R. 

If you feel groggy or tired when you wake up to do your E.M.S.R., do it anyway. Over time it will become easier and easier to get up…and will help you fall asleep easier that night.

Key Points 

-To overcome weak motivation, remind yourself of the value of getting up early and grounding yourself. 

-To clarify your focus, decide what you want to accomplish before most people wake up. 

-To overcome lack of preparation, make a checklist and execute early the night before. 

The post Top 3 Reasons Morning Routines Fall Apart appeared first on America's Success Coach.

Show Notes:

If you are aware of this principle, it can lift you up quicker than just about anything else, but if you aren’t aware, it can pull you down just as fast. Yikes!

Don’t wrestle with a pig. You will end up getting dirty. The pig will like it.

The bucket of crabs. When one crab tries to climb out of the bucket, the other crabs will reach up and pull that runaway crab back down with the rest of the crowd. This is just like humans. 

Misery (and mediocrity) seek companionship – Those who are not growth-oriented are actively recruiting others to keep them company. Be on the look-out for these folks. 

“Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.” – George Washington

“Do not be fooled, bad company corrupts good character.” – I Corinthians 15:33

“Our associations are like the buttons on an elevator; they either lift us up or pull us down.” -Coach

The people we hang out with the most influence our thinking. If they influence our thinking, they affect everything else that happens to us. 

Relationships have consequences.

Many natural laws aren’t convenient or nice. If you walk off a cliff, gravity will bring you down. This is not unfair or mean spirited; it is just gravity. 

Likewise, it is an inescapable fact of life that sometimes the law of association will be inconvenient. Some people you hang around are harmful and toxic. 

We are sponges. 

We soak up the exposures around us. We become like the people we hang out with the most. 

“The Nudge Principle”

We do not get punched or kicked off track in life. How do we get off track? We get off track just a little bit at a time. The negative individuals in our life nudge us off track just a little bit at a time. It can be so subtle that we hardly notice. 

Be intentional with the people in your life. 

Think through the people you spend most of your time with. When you’re thinking about who you spend your time with. Are you spending your time? Or are you investing your time? 

How to evaluate your relationships? 

Red relationships: People you shouldn’t spend time with at all. 

Most people have only 1 or 2 people like this in their life. 

Yellow relationships: People who you need to be careful around or limit exposure. 

This might be the biggest category. People in this category aren’t aligned with your goals and values. 

Green relationships: People who lift you up and move you toward the person you want to become. 

Be intentional about spending most of your time with these people. Make sure your close friends are in the green. 

“Make sure you’re not spending major league time with minor league people.” – Jim Rohn

When it comes to your most important relationships, the influence that they can have on you is profound. Avoid denying this truth.

Why does all this matter? 

You have a legacy you are working toward… and Your Success Blesses Others! 

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Show Notes:

The Gratitude Mindset

“The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: giving thanks for everything.” – Albert Schwietzer

Questions for Reflection:

-What is positive and unique about your family? 
-What are three of your best memories from your first year with your spouse? 
-What is the most magnificent goal you have already accomplished?
-What parts of your body tend to work really well most of the time? 
-In what ways has God shown his grace in your life recently?
-What is the nicest compliment you have received in the last month?
-What is the most valuable lesson you have learned from another person?
-What is the most beautiful thing you’ve seen in the last week?
-What is an old crisis or rough situation from the past that in retrospect has turned into a blessing or benefited you in some way? 
-What is the number one thing you are going to be grateful for this time next year?

What is Mindset?

Mindset is the X-Factor that determines what you do with your natural talent, and with your opportunities. It includes the attitudes, assumptions, and expectations that you hold about life. It’s really how you choose to approach the different circumstances of life.…whether your habitual thinking multiplies your talent and work ethic or whether it does the reverse.

What is Gratitude?

1) Feeling – a sense of joy and appreciation after receiving something, being blessed in some way
2) Capacity – skill, practice, mental discipline
3) Choice – conscious and deliberate decision; 

 “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Why is Gratitude Important?
-The master attitude 
-Shapes how you see the world
-Influences your relationships
-Affects your health 

Blocks to Gratitude 

-Excessive noise
-Over-exposure to media
-Owe-me attitude
-Worry, negative forecasting
-Consumerism, materialism
-Scarcity mindset
-Lack of connection to the Creator.

2 Levels of Gratitude

1) Routine, minimal, basic, elementary
-reactive thank you/relief after learning of someone else’s misfortune
2) Exceptional, proactive, intentional, detailed, relationship-focused. (doesn’t require something to be missing before it’s appreciated)

Practicing gratitude

-Fast lane to living 4:8
-Discipline, practice, repetition
-Perspective: past, present, FUTURE

Habits of Gratitude

-Prayer
-Blessing/grace at mealtime
-Journaling
-Handwritten notes, emails, texts, phone calls
-Public acknowledgments of others’ efforts and excellence
-Asking 4:8 questions

4:8 Questions

-What am I grateful for?
-What are my strengths? 
-What are my recent victories? 
-Who are the people that really love me? 
-What am I excited about and looking forward to?

Universal Blessings 

-God’s love
-Our bodies
-Our brains
-Sunshine and rain
-Forests and deserts
-Mountains and beaches
-Freedom in all forms
-Relationships
-And so on…

“To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us – and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him. Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.” -Thomas Merton

Ways to Express Your Gratitude Now (“Thanksgiving Binge”)

Here are some thought stimulators to turbocharge your gratitude. Most of these have come to me from clients over the years. Now they can be yours. Your Thanksgiving binge officially begins now.

1. At night, count your blessings silently as you drift off to sleep.
2. Count your blessings as you lie in bed in the morning after the alarm clock goes off.
3. Journal your blessings for three minutes immediately after waking up in the morning.
4. Make a list of what you expect to be thankful for ten years from now.
5. Before grace at mealtime, discuss specific things you are grateful for as a family.
6. Every day send a brief thank-you e-mail to someone who’s been helpful in any way, large or small.
7. Leave mini thank-you notes around the house to let your family know you notice their efforts.
8. Leave quick thank-you notes around the office to ensure that coworkers know you notice their efforts.
9. Make a list of twenty-one things you are grateful for, and meditate on that list for fifteen minutes without distraction.
10. Journal your blessings for three minutes before getting into bed at night.
11. Go the extra mile to help someone who has helped you.
12. Go the extra mile to help someone who has not helped you.
13. Ask God for a greater sense of awe and appreciation.
14. Create fun surprises or little rewards for those you appreciate.
15. Ask the important people in your life what makes them feel appreciated.
16. Repeat the affirmation “I am so blessed. I am so blessed.” Repeat this silently over and over again as you fall asleep, as you exercise, or as you drive somewhere by yourself.
17. Thank someone belatedly for the help, encouragement, or assistance they provided in the past.
18. Give yourself a special treat to express appreciation that you are unique and irreplaceable.
19. Show gratitude for a particular loved one as if it were your last opportunity to do so.
20. Itemize all the possessions in one room of your house. Thank God for those you’re glad to have, and then give or throw the rest away.
26. Discuss with a good friend some of the things you used to want but now you are glad you don’t have.
31. Greet everyone with the type of smile you’d exhibit if you had just received great news.
35. Write a previous teacher, coach, professor, or employer, thanking them for what you appreciate about them.
37. Show extreme gratitude for your own physical body by upgrading the way you treat it for a designated seventy-two-hour period.
38. Say a quick prayer of thanks for all the things in your life that don’t need fixing.

Here’s my challenge to you: Make Everyday Thanksgiving!…because your success and YOUR GRATITUDE blesses others.

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Do you tend to feel really blessed about your life as it is today or do you feel bitter about how things have worked out so far? Or, maybe you fall somewhere in between.

Would you like to achieve more, earn more and become more?

Thoreau once asked, Did you ever hear of a man who has striven all his life faithfully toward an object and in no measure obtained it? If a man constantly aspires, is he not elevated? Did ever a man try heroism, magnanimity, truth, sincerity, and find that there was no advantage in them, that it was a vain endeavor?

I believe Thoreau was simply restating the great truth that we reap what we sow. This law isn’t discussed much these days. It seems to have slipped into the dark pit of politically incorrect speech. Regardless, truth is truth.

Thoreau was simply reminding us that good efforts eventually produce good results. Kind of a simple proposition, right?

In the long run, you will get out of life what you put into it. This includes what you want out of life, what you demand from life, and what you work toward.

There’s an old-fashioned poem that you may have come across before. It was written by Jessie Rittenhouse (sometimes attributed to Napoleon Hill) and it’s called, “My Wage.” Yes, it’s a bit linguistically antiquated, but it’s true, nonetheless, and very much worth some serious thought.

I bargained with Life for a penny, and Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening when I counted my scanty store.
For Life is a just employer, he gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages, why, you must bear the task.
I worked for a menial’s hire, only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid.

Let’s take a closer look at the clear lessons in this gem. First, “I bargained with life for a penny.” If you think little and expect little, that’s what you’re going to receive. And that’s ok if that’s all you want. Just be clear on the trade off. And, don’t blame others if you someday realize you sowed the wrong seeds…or not enough seeds at all.

The second stanza reminds us that, “Life is a just employer, he gives you what you ask.” This is true to the core. Once we are out in the world, living on our own, we begin to learn that we get out of life what we put into it. This goes for our career, our relationships, our fitness, and everything else.

Sometimes rewards for productive efforts are delayed a bit, but they always come. Sooner or later, we reap what we sow. In the long run, nothing positive that you’ve done is wasted.

If you want to get more, make sure you are giving more.

Then the poem says, “But once you have set the wages, why you must bear the task.” This is an essential point. We set our “wages.” We determine what it is we want from life. We do this either overtly and emphatically with a clear goal. Or, it just happens to us when we make no decision or set no goal at all. Either way, we are establishing our own “wages.” And then we must bear the task.

If we think huge and demand a lot from ourselves, we must develop the work ethic that corresponds with ambition. This is very hard. But not nearly as hard as going through life never having made a decision or set an inspiring goal at all. Those who neglect to set their “wages” bear the heaviest task. Hoping to take the easier road, they foolishly make life far harder than it needs to be.

“That any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid.”

I recommend you carve out some free time for a bit of deep work on your future. What is it you really, really want? What’s it worth to you?

What are the things in your life that make you feel really blessed? What’s working really well for you right now? Think about your family, your health, and your income. Think about your friends and your faith.

Think about your mindset and your outlook toward life in general. Think about your assets and your liabilities. Think about what you want to be different a decade from now.

You should be very interested in your future because you’re going to spend the rest of your life there…

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Show Notes:

In this episode of Achieving Optimal, I talk about Finishing Strong. I want you to finish this year strong and head into the new year with lots of momentum. We always intend to finish strong, but it’s easy to get consumed with busyness and end of year clutter.

It’s easy to get to mid-January without having your plans fully developed.

I want to give you four ideas that you can put into practice immediately to make sure that you finish strong because finishing strong is key to starting strong.

Number 1: Immerse yourself in gratitude

-Get super appreciative of all the goodness in your life.
-Think about your victories and accomplishments, both big and small
-Write thank-you notes to those you are appreciative of
-Call those who you are especially grateful for
-Write an exhaustive list of all the things you are thankful for

Q: Who are the people in your life right now, who were not in your life a year ago, who you are grateful for?

Q: Who are the people are in your life today, that have been in your life for decades?

Q: Who are the people who, this time next year, you would like to be part of your life?

Number 2: Develop a punch-list

-Make a comprehensive list of all the things you need to accomplish before the end of the year
-The list should be as detailed as possible
-This will allow you to start the year with no loose ends
-Try to have everything completed by Christmas so you can enjoy the final week
-Take care of all your personal, household, clutter, and cleanup projects

Q: What are the things that you need to get done that will position you to go into the new year with lots of momentum?

Q: Are there maintenance items? Are there clutters items? Are there things you need to do with /car/house/school/doctor/etc…?

Number 3: Act the part.

“Act the part, become the part.” -Coach

-Begin doing the things now that you plan to start in the new year
-Don’t wait until the new year to become a better version of yourself
-“New Year’s resolutions are not goals.”
-You must be serious about things you want to improve in the new year
-Begin to act as if you have already become the person you want to be in 2020

Q: What are the upgrades that you want to see in your life in 2020.

Q: If you’re acting the part of this revised version of you, what do you need to stop doing?

Q: What do you need to remove from your life?

Number 4: Workout double

-If you usually work out twice a week, work out four times a week
-This is going to set a new pattern for you and build momentum
-It will also help prevent the weight gain that affects many people during the holiday season
-Sweat more, workout more, and listen to more positive mental nutrition
-Instead of waiting like most people until indulgence of food and drink has ended, get a head start by starting now

Most importantly, remember… Your Success Blesses Others!

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Show notes:

Clarity is a vital element of success. I sometimes like to joke with my audiences that lack of clarity is the root of all evil. Well… maybe its not the root of all evil, but I do believe lack of clarity is the root of underperformance in almost any area of life.

“You can’t change your destination immediately… but what you can do is change your direction.” – Coach

Once your are clear on what you’re trying to accomplish, the plan for how to get there becomes a lot more apparent.

4 Steps for getting clear:

1. Who

Think purpose, mission, legacy.

Who are you intending to become?

At the end of your life what do you want your legacy to be?

Are we leaving the kind of legacy that we want to leave?

Is your legacy something that you are going to be proud of?

2. What

What are the goals?

Are you clear on the goals you are pursing right now?

What are your goals for the next week? Month? Year? Three years? Decade?

3. Why

The driving force, the motivator.

For all of your major goals, identify the reason you must reach those goals. Shoot for at least 10-12 reasons for why reaching those goals are critical.

Review your reasons why constantly.

 4. How

How are we going to get from where we are now to where we want to be?

If we don’t know exactly what we are trying to accomplish, it makes it a lot harder to come up with a plan of action steps that will take us there.

One we are clear, then we start noticing opportunities, resources, people that can help us reach our goal.

A simple plan is a list of action steps that move you closer to your goal.

Acknowledge the list of actions that move you away from your goal so that you can avoid them.

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A GREAT life is, more than anything else, an accumulation of GREAT weeks. We can all have an off day now and then, and we shouldn’t worry too much about it. But if we have an off WEEK… we need to take corrective action. 

Planning is when you reach into the future and pull it back to the present. In this episode of weekly planning Coach Tommy Newberry explains the importance of planning your weeks and coaches you through the steps needed to WIN your weeks.

3 Questions:

1. Where have you won in the last seven days?
2. Where have you lost in the last seven days?
3. What are you going to do differently?

Bonus Questions:
How strong was your performance on a scale of 1-10?
What was the biggest reason you hit your goal or fell short?
Would this weeks result be acceptable to me if they became my new standard?
What preparation is necessary ahead of actually producing better results next week?

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There are unwavering principles that govern each area of our lives as well as principles that govern our lives as a whole. When we attempt to bend, stretch, or otherwise pervert these principles, we set ourselves up for pain and regret in the long run. 

The most successful individuals who have ever walked this planet have resisted the natural human tendency to make up their own little laws of life. Likewise, if you want to develop all the potential within you, you must avoid the trendy politically correct mentality that has permeated our society.

The good news about universal principles is that they will always be there for you. No matter how often you abandon or slander them, they will still welcome you back, like the prodigal son, with open arms. You will, naturally, experience the repercussions of getting off track. This is simply how life works. 

Fortunately, by responsibly organizing (or reorganizing) your life around authentic principles, you can again start experiencing positive results, and often much sooner than you may believe is possible.

In what areas of your life are you most in sync with timeless truth? In what areas have you drifted from these principles?

The post Get Back To The Basics appeared first on America's Success Coach.

Based on Philippians 4:8 in the New Testament, the 4:8 Principle states that wherever you focus your attention becomes a bigger part of your experience. This means that the content of your thought life influences your emotional life. The preceding sentence is an understatement. Your devotions most definitely produce your emotions.

Consider what happens in a theater or stadium when a spotlight is turned on. Your awareness shifts to the object underneath the light. As you give attention to the highlighted performance, you cease paying attention to what is left in the dark. When our kids were younger, we took them to the circus several times and witnessed this scenario firsthand.

As the spotlight was aimed at one or two of the three rings, the “unused ring” was left in complete darkness. We had to strain a bit, but as we looked closely at the unlit ring, we could see the stage crew, dressed in black, making preparation for the next stunt.

Like the circus production, you will always have some degree of darkness in your life, but you can choose where you focus your spotlight. Maybe “darkness” is a bit melodramatic, maybe not. Nevertheless, remember, whatever is not under your light has far less significance…And you always control the direction of the spotlight.

This is the essence of the 4:8 Principle: If you dwell on your strengths, your blessings, your goals, and all the people who love you, then you will notice even more blessings, even more love, and even more accomplishments. You will find yourself with joy and with peace. And in this state of mind, everything in life is better. The good times are even more awesome and the tough times aren’t quite so bad.

Reflexively, we will tend to dwell on either what we fear or what most excites us. In the absence of a clear, compelling vision, you and I are more likely to defensively descend into fear thinking and away from 4:8 Thinking. But this is a choice, even if an unconscious one.

You can build any virtue into your mentality by dwelling on that virtue every single day. For example, if you intend to develop patience, meditate on patience each day and visualize your patient responses to the upcoming situations you will encounter.

Take control of your spotlight. Spend very little time thinking about what you don’t want…invest lots of time dwelling on what you definitely do want. Pay attention to your mindset like your success and happiness depends on it because it does.

How should you adjust your aim?

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Your body is composed of trillions of cells that either contribute to or detract from optimal health. In this week’s AchievingOPTIMAL session, wellness coach, Darren Fink, discusses how to fine-tune those cells via inflammation control, purposeful antioxidant consumption, healthy blood sugar, and the practice of detoxification.

Subscribe to Our Podcast in iTunes

The post Optimize Your Cells – Optimize Your Life appeared first on America's Success Coach.

Because our thinking is not fixed, it can constantly be improved when we make the commitment to do so.

Remember, each moment is a new beginning.

Your future is not defined by your past. Your thoughts can change, and consequently, your future life can become totally different.

Watch out. It is easy to get consumed with the obstacles and forget about the goals. It is so easy to entertain hostile, turbulent thoughts about the future and miss the gift of the present.

But when you actively practice the 4:8 Principle, you will spotlight the positive aspects of your past, present, and future. This is a much better way to work and live.

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”

—Philippians 4:8 (MSG)

PS. Take the joy challenge here. Share it with your entire church for free. Buy The 4:8 Principle here.

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Unfortunately, he lost his balance and fell backward on his right arm, creating a buckle fracture just above his wrist. According to his doctor, Ty would have to be in a cast for at least six weeks to give the bone time to fully heal, and he would likely miss most of the games.

This was not a good start to the fall.

After the initial disappointment, Ty seemed to be handling the setback fairly well. Then a couple of days later, while riding home from church, he went into a negative spiral, reciting everything he could not do with only one good arm.

He was very thorough, even though his mother, Kristin, and I tried to interrupt him several times to break the self-defeating mental momentum.

What Can You Do?

When we arrived back at our house, I asked Ty to join me in my study for a few minutes. “Ty, don’t you think there are lots of things you can still do, even with your broken right arm?” I asked.
“No, not the really good things,” he replied skeptically.
“All right then,” I said, “I’m going to give you a quick exercise like I do in The 1% Club, that will show you how much you really can do.”
Because he had no choice, Ty agreed to participate—unenthusiastically.
“Ty,” I said, “write down twenty-one things you can still do with just one arm, and we’ll be done.”
With a curious look, Ty responded, “Dad, I’m in a cast. I can’t write.”

“Oh, that’s right,” I said with a laugh, wishing we could start over. “Then you talk, Ty, and I’ll write for you.”

So Ty started talking, and I started writing. Slowly, with some prodding, the first few answers came. He could read books, ride his bike, watch TV, and play video games. Those things triggered even more ideas.

Ty continued, “I could hike or run. I could play in my tree house. I could go to the movies, eat popcorn, and have M&M’s. I could still do science experiments. I could do sit-ups, take a bath, and make my bed.” As we approached the goal of twenty-one ideas, I was writing as fast as I could.

“Okay, that’s twenty-one,” I confirmed to Ty.

“Keep writing, Dad. I want to do some more,” he said, no longer annoyed with the exercise.

Finally, with thirty-five answers, Ty was ready to stop. I handed him the list he had dictated and asked him to read it aloud. As he read, I could see the excitement growing. There really were a lot of things a kid could still do with a broken arm.

“Can I go show Mom my list?” Ty asked.

“Sure,” I said, “but let me ask you one more question first. Ty, do you think we could have made just as long a list of the things you can’t do with a broken arm?” I asked, hoping to create a coachable moment.
“Yes,” he quickly answered, “but why would we want to do that?”
“Good point,” I said as I enjoyed his smile. “Go show Mom.”

Ty was learning how to win the battle of his mind and starting to understand the secret to a joy-filled life.

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God created a world where one person’s success benefits the people around that person. In fact, our success creates ripples that spread out in circles far beyond us. Like pebbles dropped into a pond, those ripples intersect across communities, cultures, and even generations.

God desires all His children be blessed, and He created an economic dynamic based upon our mutual support for one another. By His design, your success blesses others.

True success creates a cascade of abundance not only in the business world, but in all walks of life, from school teachers to homemakers, and from surgeons to salespeople to ministers. When we serve others with excellence, ripples of blessings spread far and wide.

Celebrate the service, innovation, gifts, leadership, and creativity of others. Applaud the good things they bring to the world. Learn to smile as the cameras flash for other people.

As you witness other people perfecting their crafts, serving others, or creating successful ventures, cheer them on!

Success is a good thing, and we need much more of it.

If you’re ready to grow your business, simplify your life and achieve awesome, we invite you to apply for The 1% Club coaching program today.

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Goals tell your brain what to notice and pay attention to as you go about your day to day activities. 

In the absence of clear goals, you will simply notice too many different and unrelated things, rather than the few essential things that move you toward your goal. This approach disperses your attention and prevents the focus that is needed to optimize your life. 

Successful people figure this out prior to becoming successful and make necessary adjustments. They stop looking in every direction and instead gaze in the single direction of their most important goal. 

So what is your most important goal?

Goals are easy to set and goals are even easier to ignore. This is true in business and at home. But it’s definitely more comfortable to wake up each day and wing it. Eventually, however, the consequences of “wake and wing” reveal themselves in weak results that flow from scattered attention and diffused effort. 

Goals and growth go together. If you want to grow into the person God created you to become, goals clarify direction and crystallize commitment. And by goals, I mean specifically worded, outcome-based statements that spell out your intention in unambiguous, clearly measurable language. 

Your blunt, accountability-driven goal statement is important because it prevents you from deluding yourself and fumbling around for too long thinking you’re winning when you’re really losing.

Without goals, few people actually grow into their full potential. Instead they hover and stagnate, repeating the same behavioral patterns that have brought them to the place they are today. They may be nice individuals, but without goals, they will be cheating themselves and the world of the distinctive talent and value they have to offer. 

Growth requires focus and focus requires goals. The alternative to a focused mind is a scattered mind. A scattered mind requires no effort or discipline at all. It is the default mental setting that can be easily observed in others by glancing to your left and right. 

Once you know the right goal to accomplish, really focusing on that goal brings about stunning results. But real focus means you deliberately concentrate on your goal, despite the distractions and temptations in your environment. 

Real focus means you organize not just each day, but each hour and even each minute…with your goal in mind. Real focus means you make decisions with your goal in mind. Real focus means you think, speak, and act in a manner that harmonizes with your goal. Real focus means you are a serious participant in creating your best self.

With real focus, you can outperform your previous best. With real focus you can put in less time, but produce better results. With real focus, you can work less and earn more. With real focus, you can be a wise steward, increase your influence and maximize your positive impact in the marketplace and elsewhere. 

With real focus, you can upgrade yourself and reinvent your future. And, with real focus, you can also repair relationships, rejuvenate your health, and rebuild any parts of your life and career that may be sub-optimal. Even better, you can do this in a surprisingly short period of time…if you get really focused.

If you are an entrepreneur and want to grow your business in a huge way without compromising your faith, family and health, we can help you.

Keep in mind, real focus takes real mental work. And, there are no shortcuts. But real focus allows you to reap big rewards. Real focus doesn’t begin tomorrow. It starts right now.

If you’re ready to grow your business, simply your life and achieve awesome, we invite you to apply for The 1% Club coaching program today.

The post Real Focus appeared first on America's Success Coach.

With Sunday’s Super Bowl just a couple of days behind us, it’s a good time to contemplate the importance of merit as an essential principle for a healthy, prosperous society.

Both the Rams and the Patriots fought hard to win on Sunday, but only the Patriots woke up Monday morning in possession of the Lombardi trophy. The Rams played hard but lost. They did not get a trophy. This is how it should be.

Despite numerous Super Bowl ads directly or indirectly promoting squishy, feel-good values like the “everybody can win” philosophy, the elite athletes in Mercedes-Benz Stadium were expressing what we all know: not everyone wins, nor should they.

When the game clock was running, life was good. But, when most of the “amazing” Super Bowl commercials were airing, I felt like I was suddenly stuck in a mandatory high school assembly being lectured about kindness by the guidance counselor.

The stark contrast with what the NFL and its advertisers were feeding us during commercial breaks compared with the sheer brutality of what was happening on the turf was ironic to say the least.

Sports, especially football, are a great platform for teaching the lessons of life. As we know, the principles or fundamentals of each sport are often referred to as “the basics.” In baseball, football, or lacrosse, the team that adheres to the fundamentals most consistently wins most consistently. This is how it should be.

The Patriots, under the leadership of Coach Bill Belichick and Quarterback, Tom Brady have repeatedly executed those fundamentals with precision. Reinforced with the team mantra “do your job,” the Patriots prepare meticulously, play  hard (think Julian Edelman), pay attention to the details, and put team over self in order to beat their opponent.

This is how American life works as well, at least so far. It’s really no mystery at all. When we stray from the fundamentals, the seeds of losing have been planted. This is true not just in sports, but in business and marriage as well.

By refocusing on the basics, individuals, teams, couples, and even nations can break out of slumps. Our nation’s founding principles(or fundamentals)of liberty include limited government, strong property rights, governmental checks and balances, free markets, debt avoidance, and equal rights (not equal things).

For individual citizens, these standards are translated into the expectation of self-reliance, personal initiative, individual responsibility, and resourcefulness. Recognizing the principles cultivated by our Founding Fathers (and teaching them to our children) illuminates our understanding and preserves the attitude of freedom for future generations.

For many decades, our country has obviously been drifting from the Founders’ formula for individual liberty and self-determination. The soaring deficit, excessive spending, and the rewarding of irresponsible behavior are just a few of the signs that we’ve been planting the wrong seeds. We have, for several generations, abandoned the principles that matter most.

Without much of a fight, we have allowed massive federal programs, and the second-rate government mindset that accompanies them to invade our lives and infect our national attitude.

And with a couple of generations of young American adults who have been deprived by modern academia of the basic tenets that undergird our nation’s unique success, this is a problem that is not going away any time soon.

Merit means winners are allowed to win. Yes, this is an old-fashioned notion, but just consider the alternative. If winners aren’t allowed to win, someone else will be picking the losers and winners. Is that the kind of society you want?

In life, like sports, we can’t always win. But the relentless effort to win, the tenacious pursuit of worthwhile goals makes us exceptional people. This dynamic should be encouraged, not discouraged.

When we follow time-tested principles, life becomes very simple. When we follow fads, life becomes very complicated. This is true for a  team, an athlete, an individual as well as for our nation.

The quick way into a mess is to neglect fundamental truths. The quickest way out of a mess is to reorient yourself in a manner consistent with what is true, right, excellent, noble and worthy of praise.

Winning is not only a good thing, it’s your job. And we should all do our job, and sometimes, we might just earn a trophy.

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Never underestimate the power of appreciation for what you’ve been given. The moment you begin to lose a sense of gratitude, your perspective on life will become distorted and your motives will become entangled in a web of selfishness.

The problem of ingratitude began with our first parents, Adam and Eve. We tend to think Satan tempted them to do something diabolical in the garden of Eden. But when we look at Genesis chapter three, we see a different scenario. 

The devil took a subtle approach to introduce sin to the world: he undermined Adam and Eve’s confidence in the character of God by tempting them to be ungrateful for all they’d been given and to plant seeds of doubt about God’s goodness. 

And it worked.

In one conversation, the fate of the world changed. Adam and Eve forgot what God had given them – life and breath, a world filled with mind-blowing beauty, and most importantly, free access to Him in a loving relationship.  Instead, they allowed ingratitude to seep into their hearts. They allowed doubt to fuel fear and selfish desires to choke out a spirit of worship.    

Gratitude is a spiritual measuring stick. It’s a sign of an individual whose heart is tethered to God and whose perspectives are rightly ordered. Gratitude creates a Philippians 4:8 perspective that looks for the true, the noble, the right, the pure, the lovely, the admirable, and the excellent.

When you experience a sense of gratitude, it means that you have been thinking about the good stuff in your life, such as your family, friends, health, and recent accomplishments. When you feel ungrateful, it does not necessarily mean that you are missing something essential. What it does mean is that you’ve recently been thinking too much about what you don’t have and too little about what you do have.

Appreciating our blessings doesn’t always come easily. Gratitude isn’t just a state of mind; it’s also a skill and discipline to be practiced, especially when we don’t feel like it. Gratitude is like a mental gearshift that takes us from discouragement to enthusiasm, from anxiety to inner peace. 

The more you appreciate today, the more things you will notice tomorrow to be grateful for. On the flip side, the less appreciative you are today, the fewer blessings you will perceive tomorrow. The Greek philosopher Epictetus said, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not but rejoices for those which he has.”

The power of gratitude is undeniably immense. As you learn to appreciate what you have, (and what you’re glad you don’t have), thanksgiving becomes a natural expression of your life.

Make everyday Thanksgiving Day!

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Unwanted thoughts don’t go away just because you tell them to. And, resisting an unwanted thought only entangles you and drives that thought deeper into your mind, making it even more of a distraction. The only way to rid yourself of negative thoughts is to exchange them for positive thoughts.

If you are upset with your spouse and tell yourself not to be upset, you still stay tuned in to what is aggravating you, and your mood may even worsen. The solution is to transfer your attention to something else completely. When you switch to a better “mental channel,” you replace the previous, lesser “channel.” You don’t have to remain stuck on a bad program. You can change the channel.

Thoughts of discontent with your spouse can be replaced with thoughts of appreciation for the overall relationship or those aspects of the relationship that are working well right now, or could be working well with a little more focused effort. 

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Achieving optimal demands that you become “brilliant on the basics” as Vince Lombardi phrased it when he first took over the Green Bay Packers. If you are serious about achieving your best life, I recommend beginning with three fundamentals that you can then build upon indefinitely.

First, establish your top five goals. Clarity is essential. Make sure you set goals across all areas of life. Having only business or financial goals is insufficient. Determine how you want to grow in your faith, as a husband, as a parent, in your fitness, and economically as well.

Then, set ambitious goals in each of those growth areas. It’s fine to have more than five goals, but you should be crystal clear on which of your goals are prioritized as the “top 5”. These top five should be front and center on your PortableCOACH.

The second fundamental is your weekly debrief. Once you have identified and committed to your top five goals, then the next most important fundamental is weekly planning. This means pausing once every seven days and evaluating what’s working and what’s not working in each aspect of your life. For best results, do this at the same time every week.

Most clients find early Sunday before church or early Monday morning to be optimal. Others complete this weekly debrief Friday afternoon before taking off for the weekend. Find what works best and just do it…and do it consistently. In addition to our WeeklyCOACH template, here are three questions to ask yourself once per week.

1. What’s gone well in the last week?
2. What’s not gone so well in the last week?
3. What am I committed to doing differently in the upcoming week?

Make sure to ask the above questions in light of your “top 5 goals.”

As simple as those three questions are, they will quickly become a game changer in how you think and course correct as well. It’s also makes sense to coach your leadership team using these same three questions on a regular basis.

The third fundamental is your early morning success ritual. Your E.M.S.R. is a deliberate and intentional way to wake up and seize the day. It is your customized collection of goal-directed morning activities that build momentum for an optimal day. With an E.M.S.R. you start the day with purpose, connect with God before you face the world, and warm up your mind, body, and spirit.

Here are the three areas of emphasis.

• Spiritual – Reading the bible, devotion time, prayer, gratitude, faith-based reading, etc.
• Directional – This is your mental work. Where are you headed? Review long/short term goals. Scan the day’s priorities. Visualize and affirm your most important goals.
• Physical – Kick off the day with mini-exercise routine, pure hydration, clean fuel, supplements and other health and energy boosters.

It’s possible to win every so often without practicing the fundamentals, but if you want to win consistently and achieve optimal, you must become brilliant on the basics!

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Choosing the right foods and engaging in smart exercise goes a long way to producing optimal health. But there’s another major factor to consider that is essential to your energy and vitality. I’m referring to your environment. Your physical environment, home and office especially, either enhances or compromises your health. Knowing the “what and how” of cleaning up your surroundings is the focus of this week’s AchievingOPTIMAL episode with our wellness coach, Darren Fink.

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Whether you know it our not, your digestive system is ground zero for your health and vitality. The ability to absorb nutrients, eliminate toxins and avoid inflammation is essential for if you intend to have the energy to crush huge goals. In this week’s AchievingOPTIMAL podcast, we discuss the importance of gut health as we continue our series with wellness coach, Darren Fink.

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Knowing what you want to achieve is not enough. Achieving your goals and living your best life requires that you line up your daily habits with your goals and aspirations for the future. Think about the habits that influence your early morning time and the habits that color your evenings. Think about your spiritual, financial, marriage, parenting and fitness habits. And, most of all, evaluate your habits of thought. In this week’s episode of AchievingOPTIMAL, we mastermind about the repeated behaviors that are shaping who you are becoming.

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Working hard right out of college is not enough. When it comes to launching your career (and life), nothing matters more than developing a winning mindset. Like an internal operating system, your mindset governs your potential for crushing your goals during your twenties and beyond. In this week’s episode of AchievingOPTIMAL, we continue our series aimed at coaching young adults toward peak performance early in life.

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Mindset is critical. It’s the leading indicator of your life’s coming attractions. Your circumstances, both personally and professionally, are a reflection of this mindset. To crush your goals early, and become unstoppable, work from the inside out. Work on the mental game. In this week’s AchievingOPTIMAL episode, we discuss the power of the right mindset for young adults.

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Every habit, whether helpful or hurtful, adds color and definition to your character. Constructive habits produce positive results while destructive habits become enemies of your full potential. In this week’s AchievingOPTIMAL podcast, we discuss the power of goal-directed habits and how to integrate them and make them stick.

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Every year, on this day, I like to have a little fun with the calendar and draw extra attention to the importance of healthy, joyful thinking. After all, it’s easy to take our thought life for granted and allow our mind to play all sorts of tricks on us.

In the epic poem, Paradise Lost, Milton shared this profound truth: “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

In today’s video, I’ll address why so many people are confused, sad, and mad.

Here are two exercises to boost your joy!

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