Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

My Best Ex Boyfriend Advice

2012-09-05T11:27:00.003-07:00

I have covered a lot of different angles on why boyfriends leave and what you can do to win them back. With so many tips fragmented across different posts, I thought it would be helpful to include a summary of my favorites.

For the past five years I have tried to provide readers with a unique perspective on ex boyfriend issues. Where everyone else writes general advice, my goal was always to dig a little deeper into specific topics. I don't believe there is a right or wrong way to win back love, but there are certainly plenty of things you can do to improve your chances. However, what works for you might very fail for the next person, so the best advice is to customize your own plan for fixing a breakup.

While I am officially retiring from writing new material, I will still be maintaining this blog in hopes that it continues to help some of you. The principles of love are still very much the same as they were thousands of years ago. You don't need magic or trickery to get your ex boyfriend back. If you focus on attracting them back, then everything will work out for the right reasons.

It is not an easy road to work your way back into someone's life. Hopefully this "best of list" I put together will steer you in the right direction.

How to Embrace Your Breakup

Your Old Relationship Died

3 Things Your Ex Boyfriend is Looking For

Why Confidence and Composure Matters

How to Start a Conversation with Your Ex BF

Tips to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has a New Girlfriend

When Will Your Ex Boyfriend Come Back?

Leave Him Wanting More

Changing Roles to Get Your Ex BF Back

Making It Easy to Make Up

Best Wishes,

Elliot

All Breakup Excuses are Lies!

2012-05-02T15:33:00.002-07:00

Anyone who has had their heart broken knows the breakup excuses I am talking about...

I need some space... This is not a good time for me... Things are moving too fast...

If you really read through these lies you get one simple message: he is not attracted to you anymore.

How can I say this with such certainty? Because real love is never contained by boundaries. Real love makes you work harder when things get tougher. Real love makes you pursue what you can't have.

Anyone who uses the excuses listed above is a quitter. They've run into a dilemma and they don't know how to deal with it. Instead of working it out, or telling you the truth, their solution is to just run away. This isn't going to make you feel any better but sadly it is the truth.

The best thing you can do is gain motivation from the lies. Show your ex boyfriend what he is missing. Prove that your heart is worth more than the easy way out. If he won't fight through obstacles to be with you then take the higher road.

When you succeed without him he will be there waiting for another chance. At that point you will be the one in control.

Yes, Your Ex Boyfriend Follows Your Social Profile

2012-04-02T10:45:00.002-07:00

I am surprised by the number of women who treat their facebook and twitter accounts like a poster of desperation after getting dumped. Not only do those psycho-desperate-needy updates scare your ex away, but they also make your friends think twice before calling you back.

Here's the deal... the only way to legitimately get your ex back is through attraction and curiosity. Quoting sad breakup songs on twitter is not attractive, and it certainly leaves no mystery to the way you feel. In short, negative emotional posts get negative results. No one wants to hang out with the depressed girl, so don't think you are winning any hearts back by reminiscing about better days.

Facebook, twitter and all of the other social networks can actually work in your favor if you use them the right way. Show your ex boyfriend that you are still living life without them. Post pictures of events you attended and tag friends when you laugh about yesterday's party.

Remember that positive posts get positive results. We all like to read about the successes of our friends on social sites. This is how you gain a strong following of supporters who can improve your online reputation. You don't have to message your ex to make your point. Even if they un-friend you they will still see you appear on other friends pages. Just make sure what they see will make them miss you!

How to Start a Conversation with Your Ex BF

2012-02-29T10:48:00.003-08:00

Figuring out what to say to your ex boyfriend is not always easy. On the one hand you are dying to know what they have been thinking about your future, but on the other hand you understand that acting desperate will just scare them away.

Since the first words are often the hardest, I've put together a short list of innocent conversation starters you can use on your ex boyfriend. Note that the focus of each example is to get your EX BF to open up and communicate with you.

"I thought of you yesterday when I saw [insert a news story]. What did you think?"

"Hey [name]! It has been a while... what have you been up to?"

"I know things were crazy after our breakup - I'm sorry about all that. I just wanted to let you know it is all behind us now and I feel much better about everything."

"I saw you [insert a recent achievement of theirs]. Congratulations! How does it feel?"

"Can you keep a secret? I just found out that [insert compelling information]. What should I/we/they do about it?"

These ideas should get your mind moving in the right direction. It really doesn't matter what you say as long as you keep it honest and format it in such a way that your ex will have to respond.

3 Things Your Ex Boyfriend is Looking For

2012-02-01T16:06:00.000-08:00

The fast track to fixing a breakup is to use a simple "has vs needs" approach. The concept is to identify what your boyfriend needs in a girl and compare that to what you provided him. This requires a great deal of honesty here, so you really need to open your mind.

To help you get started I'm going to list some common things men look for in a partner. See if they match any of the breakup excuses your ex gave you...

Looks
This is one subject that many avoid, but the fact is a lot of men do consider looks an important part of dating. Beauty is subjective and that's why you need to play off the things you know about your ex boyfriend. An easy way to get a feel for their preference is to think about their favorite celebrities. How do they wear their hair? What kind of style do they have? What roles do they play in movies?

Fun Factor
Are you fun to be around? This is another tough question to ask yourself. Here's the thing though, dating is about sharing and enjoying each others time. There should be lots of smiles, laughs and memorable moments. If you can't remember the last time you and your ex laughed out loud together then this is a problem. Of course not everyone is comedian, but it shouldn't be hard to make your partner smile.

Individualism
An often overlooked secret to successful relationships is a supportive partner. Giving your man the opportunity to explore his dreams is so important. Did you support him when he said he wanted to start a business? How about when he wanted to go out with the guys? We all need to express our individuality, and if that need goes unfulfilled then we will find another outlet.

These three things are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to your ex boyfriend's needs. Heck, these may not even represent his needs at all! But one thing is certain... somewhere along the line your ex wasn't getting what he wanted. Identify and fix those issues if you want another shot with him.

Getting Past the Jerk

2012-01-11T16:11:00.000-08:00

Some of you ladies have opted for the most difficult of journeys...trying to win back an ex who is a jerk. Now I know most of you say "he only acts that way around his friends." Okay fine, whatever floats your boat. I'm not here to criticize. In fact, today we are going to discuss how to get past this rudeness and touch his inner emotions.

Here are my favorite angles for defusing these situations...

Laugh Along
This is probably the least preferred but it really can lower his guard. If he wants to look cool around his friends then just let him. When the jokes start flying laugh right along with them. Want to take it to another level? Add to the fun by making fun of yourself. Over time this technique will eliminate the "challenge" of putting you down. Obviously this is not for the easily-offended but if you can't beat 'em then join 'em.

Conversation Bombs
No matter how long you dated your ex-boyfriend you likely have some dirt on them. The next time they play the jerk card consider throwing stones right back at them. How does this help you get back together? You might be surprised at the results. One of the big reasons people breakup is because one person is bored with the other. Showing a little spunk can be just the ticket for sparking an attraction.

Disappear
One of the oldest tricks in the book for getting an ex back is what they call "no contact." The theory here is your ex will never miss you if you are always around. If you don't like the way they are treating you then a vacation from your ex might be the best solution. If you go this route then you must commit to it. No phone calls, no emails, no contact. In a perfect situation your ex will reach out to you after they've had time to reflect on their bad behavior.

Good Luck - Elliot

How to Embrace Your Breakup

2011-11-08T11:00:00.000-08:00

No one needs to make a list on the ways a breakup sucks, but what if you looked in the opposite direction? As hard as this time can be it is still your life and you need to cherish every day of it.

I've made the argument before that nothing is impossible when it comes to winning back love. However, you do have to set yourself up for success. That begins with loving life and radiating a sense of confidence, both of which are impossible to do when you dwell on the negative.

It is funny how good relationships can look after getting dumped. We think about all the laughs and adventures we had with our ex. For some reason the negative times never make it into those memories and yet they were still there. Coming to grips with the fact that your relationships wasn't perfect is one step towards embracing your breakup.

There are plenty of other positive things you can do while waiting for your ex boyfriend to come back around. The best ideas include the goals and interests you have put on the back-burner the past few years. It will take time to get to know yourself again, but it won't take long to enjoy the experience.

There is always a brighter way to look at things, and doing so will significantly enhance how others look at you. Use the time after your breakup to expand your boundaries. Relationships can confine us as we get trapped into a routine. I have a favorite quote I use when feeling "trapped" by stress and frustration...

"Do one thing every day that scares you."
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Hope this helps :)

The Real Secret to Making Your Ex Boyfriend Want You

2011-10-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

With all of the advice I've given over the years it is funny how easy it can be to overlook the simplicity of human relationships. We always believe that our situation is unique or complex even though throughout the history of the earth millions have suffered through the same experience. There is a core reason why we are attracted to certain people, and the closer you can get to generating that feeling for your ex the better your odds will be to get back together.

So what am I talking about? Watch the video to find out!

Read more of Michael's valuable tips in the M3 Breakup Solution System

Can You Handle Your Ex Boyfriend's Affair?

2011-09-04T08:38:00.000-07:00

While this blog focuses on getting back with your ex boyfriend it is important to note that not all situations will be ideal. For some of you this means accepting the fact that your ex bf has been with someone else since you broke up. This might not affect your desire to win them back, but you really should think about how this changes your feeling towards him.

If you have been persistent in getting back with your ex then it is likely you have been going about the mission alone. Meanwhile he has been out with another girl, experiencing new things, and undoubtedly comparing you to her. Yes, you can argue that him coming back means his feelings for you were real...but what has this time away done to you?

Some relationships bounce back stronger after a breakup when both sides realize the grass is not always greener. However, the other possible outcome includes feelings of awkwardness and jealousy. How does it make you feel to know he needed a vacation from your relationship? Can you trust him to stick around this time?

In my opinion these are all important questions to consider before setting out to get your boyfriend back. If nothing else, you need to make him work harder to come back. The key here is playing hard to get as a flirting technique. Guys love a good challenge, and the longer you keep him at arm's length the more certain you can be that he is in it for the long term.

Tips to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Has a New Girlfriend

2011-08-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

Just because your ex boyfriend is dating someone new doesn't mean all hope is lost for getting back together. For starters, rebound relationships rarely last because they are based almost exclusively on looks or lust. Whatever the reason was for why your ex dumped you, their new girlfriend is likely just being used to satisfy their immediate needs. The chances of them building a strong interpersonal friendship with them are not very good.

As simple as it sounds, the best way to get your ex boyfriend back under these circumstances is to simply be yourself and enjoy life. You shouldn't waste time trying to size up your competition because they really have nothing to do with you and your ex. In fact, you can make a bigger statement about yourself by ignoring her or politely introducing yourself.

Keep in mind that your main objective here is to steal your ex back. To be successful you'll need to show your ex everything they are missing by not being with you. This is why you want be seen smiling and having fun with your best friends. Facebook is a good tool for showing off your social status activities. Post regular updates and pictures of yourself as if you are having the time of your life. The idea of course is to prove you don't need a boyfriend to have fun.

Don't shy away from interacting with your ex during this time. Remember that you wan them to notice you. Bump into them whenever possible and maintain a positive and slightly flirtatious tone of conversation. This can really mess with their mind because they expect you to be bitter and depressed after your breakup.

If you can build up your social popularity while keeping your ex's attention you will eventually generate some attraction from them. When this starts to happen you want to drag it out and keep them wanting more. Don't fall for the temptation of hooking up with your ex before they have committed to you. Your best asset is being the one thing they can't have. If you give-in too early then you will become nothing more than their hookup call.

Talk About Anything But Love

2011-07-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Here's a little secret about communication...rarely do the words we speak get interpreted the way we intended. For example, you might tell a co-worker that you had a bad weekend. For you that means your boyfriend broke up with you, but for them it is probably a red flag to stay away from you for the day.

People are sensitive about their space and influences. No one wants to feel confined or pressured by outside forces...and this is exactly the kind of feeling you impose on your ex when you start talking about LOVE.

If you are lucky enough to get your ex back talking to you again then you must block out the temptation to profess your love for them. It probably feels natural to say "I love you" to someone you have been close to, but keep in mind the pressures in your relationship caused them to leave. Do you really want to waste your chance at getting back together by making things stressful right from the start?

Your ex probably does still have feelings of love left for you. They care about you, and wish you the best in life. However, it will take some time after the breakup before they will feel comfortable being in love again.

In the meantime, you should enjoy any time you have together. Keep things positive and have fun. Good relationships survive because the good times outweigh the bad times. This is your opportunity to create a happy and stress-free "vibe" that will attract him back over time.

Making It Easy to Make Up

2011-06-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

Emotions run so high after a break up that it is often difficult to make good decisions, especially when you finally get the chance to speak to your ex boyfriend. You want to pour your heart out and say all the right things to get another chance at fixing the relationship.

The problem is that most of the things you are want to say (I'm sorry, I love you, etc.) only make things harder on your ex. They don't feel the same way you do right now, and when you throw out words like "love" it puts them in a bad position. Most boyfriends are not out to destroy your life, they have simply come to a crossroads in their time with you. Apologies and proclamations of your love are words that call for a response...but in this case your ex has nothing positive to say back.

But what if you could take away the pressure and make it easy for your ex boyfriend to make up with you? Choosing the path of least resistance is not necessarily the easy choice when your gut if filled with swirling emotions. However, for the long term it gives you the best chance of getting back with your ex.

Think of it this way...if you had something difficult to tell someone how would you want them to respond? What would your perception of them be if they freaked out about the news? How would it be different if they handled the same news with grace and respect? As you probably see, the latter makes things much easier and leaves things in position for more discussion down the road.

The bottom line is you can give yourself a better chance at making up by simply making things easier on your ex boyfriend. Accept this break up for what it is and give your partner some space. At the very least you will earn their respect and trust...two valuable components that you'll need to solve your relationship problems.

Give Your Ex Boyfriend Some Space

2011-05-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

The most common advice you'll hear after getting dumped is to give your ex boyfriend some space after the breakup. This is also known as the "no contact rule" and the concept behind it is to allow heated emotions some time to cool down.

There are many things people say or do in the heat of an argument that they later regret. This is why it is important to let your boyfriend have some time to think about what just happened between you. Michael Griswold has some good insights about all this - watch the video below...

See what else Michael has to say in his M3 Breakup Solution Course

Yes, Your Ex BF Thinks About You

2011-04-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

When you are alone with the reality of being dumped it is easy to begin thinking if your ex is doing the same. Is he thinking about you? Does he wish things would go back to the way they were?

The answer to questions like these is "yes"...but your ex boyfriend is reflecting on your relationship in a different way. Instead of longing for the past, he is thinking about "what could have been". You see, when your BF dumped you it was because his attraction to you had disappeared. What was fun and exciting back in the day has since become boring and predictable.

Now when he thinks about you or compares you to another girl it is in terms of your positives AND negatives. Yes, there are several things he still loves about you, but somewhere the cons outweighed the pros. If you can find away to re-balance his perception of you then the attraction will grow back.

Believe it or not, the fastest way to do this is not necessarily by fixing the negatives. In most scenarios you can succeed by drawing attention to your positives as long as you have something new to offer. There needs to be a new challenge for him to accept...a new reason to love you even more this time. Think about your life as a whole and change your expectations. Stop settling for average when you know there is so much more you want to do!

Why Confidence and Composure Matters

2011-03-06T19:11:00.000-08:00

Eventually the time will come when you'll see your ex boyfriend in public for the first time. A lot of people freak out about this moment. What should you do? What should you say? Well, for as much anxiety and anticipation that goes into the event you might think I'd have a list of 20 things for you follow. That is not the case.

The absolute best thing you can do when you see him for the first time is be confident and friendly. Now your friends are probably going to tell you to ignore him or scream at the other girl he is with, but what do you think that will do to your chances of getting back together? That's right, it will ruin them.

Think about how mortified you would be if your ex came up to you at a party and started yelling in your face. Not only would you be frightened but you'd probably want to disappear to avoid all the embarrassment. And if you dumped your ex, how likely is it that you would give them another shot after they acted like psychopath? Hopefully the answer is zero.

There is no reason to run for cover if you see your ex boyfriend in public. In fact, you should take the opportunity to get some face time with them. Just don't go overboard. Simply walk up, say hello and ask them how things are going. Introduce yourself to their friends or date if it makes sense to do so. In other words, be yourself. Show them that you can be happy and confident on your own. Doing this is much more attractive than causing a scene.

Here's a a short video with more tips for when you see your ex.

Don't Wait for Your Ex

2011-02-05T17:15:00.000-08:00

If you find yourself waiting for your ex to do something...whether it be call, wave, or even look at you...then you are wasting time.

Patience is an important part of getting your ex boyfriend back, but too many people confuse patience with fear and procrastination. They are so intimidated to say or do the wrong thing that they choose to do nothing at all. This is a surefire way to lose your chance at winning back love.

For every day that goes by after your break up you should accomplish at least one task that improves your odds to get them back. Some days the focus may be on improving yourself or your situation. Other days you might go out of your way to make sure they notice you. The point is that repairing a broken relationship takes effort, and the task cannot be completed in one day.

One of the traps people fall into is continually search for a "better way" to win back their boyfriend. The Internet is filled with with millions of pages of relationship advice - some of it good but most of it is just regurgitated hearsay. It is easy to get sucked into hours of reading, but more times than not you'll end right back where you started.

Instead of being an information scavenger you should try being a hunter, who works to make her own destiny with the tools she already has. Remember that doing nothing is worse then trying and failing.

Your Old Relationship Died

2011-01-20T19:47:00.000-08:00

Albert Einstein once wrote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. This insightful definition is very relevant to getting your ex boyfriend back. Many people want things to "go back to the way they were" but this would only delay the occurrence of another breakup.

We are constantly changing as we grow through life. Things become more complex and our likes and dislikes change according to our current lifestyle. While it is often easy to say your boyfriend broke up with you because [insert reason here], very few of us accept the possibility that time has simply moved on.

But this in no way means you can't get your ex back. The point is to win them back you need to change with the situation. Being the same girl you always were may not be enough any more. Relationships thrive on challenges and spontaneity. When one side begins to feel bored they start to wonder if life would be better in a new setting.

So what does this all mean for you? It is simple really...think of ways to inject fun and adventure back into your relationship. Of course you will first have to prove to your ex that you have indeed changed. They need to witness in you a new attitude and passion for life. But it needs to be real because you won't be able to fake it forever.

Be honest with yourself...are you living life the way you want? Think about your goals and what drives you to succeed. Sometimes just pursuing a goal can increase your zest for life, and that will bring natural changes to make your ex notice you.

A Great Quote for Solving Breakups

2010-12-15T10:32:00.000-08:00

This short video by Michael Griswold discusses one of the best quotes to refer to when trying to get your boyfriend back. It exposes what we all need from any relationship in order to feel connected to our partner. I think it will change how many of you view your own situation...

Michael is a great guy who is really passionate about helping folks reunite with their lost love. You can read more about his M3 Breakup Solution by clicking here.

Finding Secrets to Get Your BF Back

2010-12-09T20:01:00.000-08:00

Within most of the articles on this blog I preach the importance of creating attraction to get your ex boyfriend back. Some of you though miss the easy part of this advice. You don't have to search the internet for ways to attract men in order to succeed. In most cases the creative ideas you seek are already in your mind.

You see, at some point in the past you have already proved successful in attracting your ex. This is how your relationship began. Of course only you know what that magical formula was back then, but it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. In many cases there was a physical attraction that got the ball rolling, and yet this was likely not the only contributor. At some point you had a conversation, went out on dates, etc. What was it about those moments that was so special?

Go ahead and make yourself a list of things you think your ex bf liked about you. It can be anything from the way you smelled to your favorite television shows. When you are finished, stare at that list until you can think of ways to lure him back into your life. And I'm not talking about falling in love. Start with baby steps...try to get him on the phone for starters!

Now the last thing you need to do with your list is be honest with yourself. Are there some things he liked that have changed in the recent past? If so, then you need to try and fix those. The power of attraction can be hard to control. Your goal should be to bring as many good things from the past back into your current life.

Last but not least, don't forget to keep him guessing. Attraction is always stronger for things we cannot have or don't understand. There has to be a mysterious new element involved to really grab your ex's attention. This isn't always easy to define, but no one knows your ex bf like you do!

Tips to Impress Your Ex Boyfriend

2010-10-31T20:24:00.000-07:00

If you are going to get your ex boyfriend back then you need to grab their attention. Creating a high level of attraction between you is the fastest way to win them back. But you won't have much success building attraction if he doesn't even know you are in the room, which is why you'll need to make a good impression at every possible opportunity. Here as some tips to help you impress your ex boyfriend...

Make a Change
The easiest way to get attention is to make a change in your appearance. Whether that be changing your hair, improving your figure, or going for a complete makeover. Just keep in mind that you want to IMPRESS your ex. Blue hair might get their attention but it certainly won't impress them. One way to think of ideas is to ask yourself what would get your ex's friends talking? If you can stir up his friends then you know it will put you back on his radar.

Don't Be Shy
The whole game of who should talk to who first after a breakup is petty at best. If you want to make a lasting impression then just walk up to him and say "hi". You don't need any crazy pick-up lines. A simple how-do-you-do is plenty for your first chat. And don't be afraid to flirt a little...guys like a little role reversal every now and then. The bottom line is you can impress him by just being yourself. In some cases the ex is just waiting for a sign that you still want things to work out. Imagine if you missed out on that because you were too scared to talk!

Live Your Life
The best thing you can do while waiting for your ex to come back is live a happy life. Don't wait around for him to call when your friends are out having fun. You need to be seen in the social world if you want him to think about you. People who stay depressed and shut-in after a break up never get what they want because no one wants to be around them. You have to prove yourself to be a catch if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

So You Got Caught Stalking Your Ex Boyfriend...

2010-10-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

The most interesting thing about people who stalk their ex is that 99% of them know they shouldn't do it. If you asked them what their ex boyfriend would think about their actions, most would agree it would not make him happy. But even those who know better can find the temptation to spy on their ex hard to ignore. In many instances, the thrill of "playing detective" becomes addictive and causes them to cross the line of appropriate behavior. At some point they get caught and their already broken relationship is suddenly on life support.

So what can you do if you get caught stalking your ex boyfriend? Well, the first step is to simply be honest about your actions. The more you try to cover things up with lies and excuses the harder you are going to have to work to win your ex back. It is better to just admit your faults, apologize, and walk away from the whole mess for a while. Obviously your ex is going to be upset and it could be several weeks until they have calmed down enough to start talking with them again.

When it does come time to talk again, one of the best strategies is to inject some humor about yourself. Tell your ex how embarrassed you felt about your actions, and make fun of yourself for all the silly things you did. This should be easy since it really is embarrassing to get caught stalking! Make sure you tell them that the only reason you acted so stupid was because you still had strong feelings for them. Use the word "had" to suggest your feelings are different now. This will make them curious about how you feel now.

From there you will simply have to see how they react to your apology. If they laugh with you when you tell your side of the story then your odds are good for getting another chance. Play along and be patient with everything. Just be happy you are talking again for now, and slowly build up the levels of attraction over a few weeks. Your ex is going to need some time to trust you again after your erratic behavior.

How to Approach Your Ex Boyfriend

2010-09-02T21:13:00.000-07:00

One of the most awkward moments after a break up is the first time you see your ex boyfriend. Your mind is racing with questions like...what should I do?...what do I say? Being uncertain is totally normal, but at some point you will have to challenge your anxieties if you are going to win him back.

The best advice for your first encounter after breaking up is to keep things simple, short, and friendly. You don't need to recite an award-winning poem or discuss any of the reasons your relationship failed. Instead you just want to open the lines of communication for the future.

The one thing your ex boyfriend is going to feel is a lack of trust for you...no matter what the terms of your break up were. They are going to wonder how you will react to seeing them for the first time. This is why you want to keep things friendly and positive. If you start to bring up the past then they will feel uncomfortable, which might cause them to avoid you down the road.

As strange as it may seem, it can work well to just walk up to them and say "Hi". This almost always commands a response back, and it immediately breaks down the initial awkwardness of the situation. Follow up your greeting with small talk about work or school and then cut things off by saying "I've got to run. Talk to you soon!".

Now in some cases your boyfriend is still going to be bitter about your past actions (especially if you cheated on him). This is why I would try not to approach them for at least 10 days after the break up...and sometimes longer. Speaking to them is a big first step and you need it go well so don't jump in if the timing is bad.

As much as it is a big deal to speak to your ex for the first time, it really does not have to be difficult. The key is to keep your conversation short and friendly so they are not intimidated when they see you next time.

Did Your Ex Boyfriend Appreciate You?

2010-07-30T11:22:00.000-07:00

One of the things repeatedly discussed on this blog is the notion of becoming more of what your ex boyfriend wants. That could be as simple as changing your hair to something more complex like changing your demeanor. This advice is offered as a strategy for getting your ex back, but it is not always appropriate if you are happy with who you are.

We've all heard the saying that you can't love someone else unless you love yourself. This is probably true for most people which is why you have to be careful about changing yourself to match the needs of your ex. The fact is that not every woman is compatible with every man, and although it is tough to lose someone you love, sometimes things just don't work out. What you have to decide is if it you WANT to make changes in your life to better accommodate your ex's needs.

One thing you should ponder before making any lifestyle adjustments is whether or not your ex boyfriend appreciated you. Sure he may of had some pet peeves that he would have changed, but did he embrace the time you spent together? Were you able to make him laugh and smile when things were going bad? If you answered yes, then your relationship at least shows some signs of promise if you can smooth out the differences.

On the other hand, if you don't think he appreciated you then I might suggest moving on as opposed to making significant changes in your life. I mean, what if you succeed? What if you win him back with your new appeal and are then forced to live a fake identity just to keep him happy? You will likely heal your broken heart but it will be at the cost of your values and goals. There are simply too many fish in the sea to suffer this fate.

Get Another Chance with Your Ex Boyfriend

2010-06-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

When we look back on our lives most of us have some moments we'd like to have another chance at. This is especially true with romantic relationships. Whether it was someone you wish you would've asked out, or an ex boyfriend you'd like to have another chance with, we've all had experiences that we would do differently if given another chance.

But you might not need a time machine if you are trying to get another chance with your EX BF. There are ways to EARN your second chance by simply capturing their interest in you. Here are three great ways to get started...

1. Be Real - Lay It On The Line
So much time after a break up is wasted tiptoeing around your partner trying not to upset him further. But instead of of avoiding the obvious issues, you might be better off bringing them out into the open. If you screwed things up in the relationship then admit to it and make your ex share his feelings. You might even have to aggravate him to get him to open up, but you can't solve the problems until they are exposed. Sure he may get mad but at least he will be talking to you.

2. Change Your EX BF's Impression
This is so important, although it is not something that can be done quickly. For whatever reason your ex boyfriend has a different impression of you now compared to when your first met. It doesn't matter why, but it it is essential you change the way he sees you now. Look at yourself in the mirror and understand what he thinks when he sees you. The answer is different for everyone and only you know what needs to change.

3. Challenge Him
We all know the saying "We want what we can't have..." and this is totally true in love and break ups. This is the exact reason why begging for another chance after being dumped never works. Your ex needs mental motivation to reopen your relationship. So what can you do to motivate him? Make him an offer he simply can't refuse. But don't rest on the sales pitch alone, you have to follow through with your actions or you will lose him again.

Changing Roles to Get Your Ex BF Back

2010-03-26T18:34:00.000-07:00

In every relationship there are roles that each partner plays. When the relationship is going well our roles compliment our partner's to create a sense of harmony. However, when there is conflict our different roles can become irritating to the other person.

Some examples of roles you commonly see include the caretaker, the money manager, the talker, the listener, and even the cleaner. These are just the obvious examples, but every relationship is defined with some division of responsibilities and actions. Because romance is built upon what we "give and take" from our partner it is important to define your place in the relationship. But what about when things go wrong and your role no longer seems to fit?

Repetition is perhaps the biggest enemy to women are trying to get their ex boyfriend back. The belief that "what worked in the past will work in the future" is not always correct. Men and women change and adapt to their environment, and things your man may have found attractive before may not be as attractive now. This is one of the ways that romances fade. Trying to resurrect love by playing the same role is not likely to make a positive impact on your ex.

If you noticed that your ex boyfriend's love for you faded slowly over time, it could be a simple case of boredom that led to your breakup. The cure for this is of course change, but even more specifically...changing your role. If you were the passive type then try being more outspoken. If you were perhaps a bit "bossy" then try playing the role of listener. Be honest with yourself when thinking about what role you played when you were with your ex. How can you change your role to satisfy your ex's needs? Make the right move and you will be surprised at how quickly his attraction to you grows.