In reading a few chapters of Paul's letter to the Romans, I cannot sit the Bible down without feeling grateful.
There is a great war raging within us... contending with God and His greatness.
Do you think the earth is big? There is a vast universe that has not been discovered.
Do you think your problems are big? They cannot be very big when they are temporary.
Collectively, we humans are nothing more than a family of grasshoppers compared to God's infinite presence.
We argue over things that are meaningless.
We desire things that are lifeless.
We fight against each other because we want something we have not been given.
We cannot stand to lose because deep down, we know we are little and like Lucifer, we want to ascend... we want to win... we want to feel some measure of greatness.
What is this evil that lurks within us and resists our smallness?
I do not find it in any other animal, all of whom are perfectly content with their allotted lives... in spite of our intrusions. In fact, we show such little consideration to the animals that I am amazed they do not mobilize and revolt against us! They are kinder and gentler and they do not repay us with evil.
If the creation is fortunate enough, mankind will become extinct and all things living can live gloriously.
Paul's letter has reminded me to show mercy... to myself and to others. For God knows our frame... that we are frail... that we are ill... that we suffer with an evil that lurks within. Our minds have been shrouded with darkness. There is such little light amongst us.
But God has remembered us. He has called to us out of the heavens. He reaches out to us in our chaos. He beckons us home where there are no burdens. There is only the light of His greatness.
If you would come and sit for a few moments in this light, you will not mind being so small.
What if you were handed a list of words, a subject, and five minutes to write?
This past year, I attended a one-day writing workshop in Los Angeles. We were given several writing exercises throughout the day. This one was one of my favorites.
Our list of words: Autumn, candle, coin, poppy, landscape, calendar, vision, obvious, cruel, translucent.
Our subject: Mirrors
Midway through the exercise, we were told to STOP. From that stopping point, we had to begin the next section with "This is all surface. The truth underneath is... "
Here is that little exercise from my pen.
Mirrors are strange things. On one hand, they can paint the entire landscape of your life. I have seen the spring, summer and autumn of my years.
Mirrors are cruel too because if you live long enough, you know the winter is coming.
It's as if mirrors contain a translucent calendar of your face-to-face meetings with mortality.
On the other hand, mirrors are like a coin, holding up two sides of your existence: the one you can see and the one you cannot.
This is all surface. The truth underneath is...
I am a spirit that is ageless and timeless, trapped for a brief second in this mortal body.
Soon to be released...
Soon to look back at the mirror and laugh in its face.
True, my life is a candle.
True, my vision has dimmed.
But just like the poppy, you will see me again.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
I was incredibly immature when I reached adulthood. I had no concept of “relationship” and what it took to build one. I possessed an absolute lack of reality and what it took to build anything, especially meaningful relationships.
Being born and raised in Los Angeles produced an aura of fantasy and illusion on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong. I take the blame. I ate from the tree.
I grew up with my own definition of reality: everything I wanted I should have.
I resented my working class father with his Mississippi roots. In my mind, he was out of step with time and the Hollywood lifestyle I imagined myself living. I rebelled against his simplicity and his willingness to accept life as it was delivered to him. I wanted more.
I am not proud of this, but it is the truth, and it must be said.
The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give.
There are three things that are never satisfied, yea, four things say not,
It is enough: The grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, It is enough.
I learned to take and never be satisfied. I don’t know how I contracted this disease, but it spread throughout my entire body.
The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint.
From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it;
but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed,
neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment.
Now, I understand the importance of humility. I understand the necessity of brokenness.
If we cannot accept responsibility for our diseases, we cannot be healed of them.
The never-ending pursuit of happiness and the hatred of loneliness.
Dear Sojourner,
This writing represents 55 years of living and 30 years of searching. I think I died somewhere along the way, but I cannot pinpoint the exact date. Hopefully, you will take my word for it, as this writing is proof that I am still alive and the reason I believe in the resurrection of the dead.
This writing is the work I was called to do.
I have often felt as if I was searching for some lost city – some island of life free of fear, injustice and pain. I knew I did not want to toil for things and come up empty at the end of my life.
Really, all I ever wanted was for someone to love me. I never imagined that I would learn to love others and participate in the love I was searching for.
God is here, ever present among us, waiting for His creation to wake up and do the work He created them for.
I am one of you.
If you are sleeping right now, my hope is that this writing will stir you out of your slumber.
This is not a fairytale. It is real and it happened to me. However, I do not expect this writing to become famous or reach the bestseller list. I expect this little book will reach you by the hand of a warrior – the spiritual creatures that salt the earth and keep it full of flavor.
I tell you, there is another world. It is full of grace and truth. It is my earnest prayer that your eyes can see through the dark glass and absorb the glory of that place. Everything you dream of is waiting for you there.
Peace,
The Writer