Giant Girl Rampages, a Blog-Novel for Ages 12 and Up

Apologies to All

2008-09-13T16:12:00.003-05:00

I'm so sorry I haven't posted a blog entry for a couple weeks. There's just so much going on, with school, with the Appletons, with my classmates, with my cows, and with GlomCorp...I haven't had even a moment for my online friends, or for myself!

You might not hear from me again for a while, but I'll be thinking of you all. Thanks for reading my journal!

Much love, BIG MELLY.

Boy Are So Squirmy!

2008-08-28T12:14:00.000-05:00

Mr. Appleton is raging mad at me today. Jay's friends haven't come back to help in the orchard, and we're falling way behind schedule. I'm picking as fast as I can but I have trouble with the low-hanging fruit because I have to bend way down and try to reach in without getting my face cut up by branches.

"I don't know what you said to those boys, but you'll have to make things right," said Mr. Appleton, and that was that. I got the three boys' names and addresses from Jay, and luckily I didn't have to go through the downtown area to get to any of them.

Here's how it went...

I walked up to a house with a normal-sized front door, which came up to about the middle of my thigh. I gave the door a "shave-and-a-haircut" knock, almost but not quite hard enough to splinter the wood. When the door opened, a woman poked her head out and looked up at me, open-mouthed.

I smiled. "Hello, Mrs. Maldonado. I'm Melly, Jay Appleton's foster sister."

Mrs. Maldonado nodded slightly and continued to stare.

"Is your son, Andy, home? He's late for his job in the orchard."

Another nod, and the woman disappeared back into the house. I could hear shuffling, thumping, and yelling for a few minutes before Mrs. Maldonado pushed a terrified boy outside. I recognized him as one of the three I'd chased out of my shed.

"Thanks a lot," I told Andy's mother, as politely as I could. After two more houses, my arms were loaded down with squirming boys. I never knew boys were so squirmy but I'm used to wrestling Old Carl the bull to the watering hole and back every week so they didn't give me any trouble. In addition to Andy Maldonado were Kevin Gulchnick and Toshi Mitsuyama.

I dumped the boys at Mr. Appleton's feet and said, "There! Are you happy now?"

He wasn't, but at least he didn't yell at me anymore for the rest of the day.

Part Time Doc

2008-08-27T12:51:00.001-05:00

Dr. Crisp came by today for our final tutoring session. He says I'm officially ready to start classes next week and the school has a tutoring program if I need help during the year, so his work with me is done. Officially, that is.

"I'll still be by every other week for medical checkups," he said. "That's my contract with the state because of your 'special needs,' though I've never met anyone healthier in my life."

I don't know what I'm going to do without Doc being around so much. I really count on him, and trust him, and feel like I can tell him things I can't say to the Appletons or other adults. I feel so betrayed!

"Can we still shoot baskets sometimes?" I asked.

"Sometimes," he agreed. But only sometimes.

An Infestation of Boys

2008-08-26T11:00:00.001-05:00

I thought Jay and three of his friends were supposed to pick fruit with me yesterday, but they had better things to do and better places to do them at. Instead it was just me on foot and Mr. Appleton on a tractor, carting away the bushel-barrels as I filled them up. It was slow work because Mr. Appleton wouldn't let me shake fruit out of the trees and I had to pick them all by hand.

By noon I was wishing Jay's friends would show up, and that made me realize I hadn't ever seen any of Jay's friends in all the weeks I'd been living with him and his family. I was beginning to think he'd made them up and that would be another reason for me to feel sorry for the little guy. But then today I took some time off fruit-picking to milk and wash my cows, and I must have left the big sliding door open on the fifty-foot wide shed where I've been living, between the Appletons' house and their orchard.

When I came back, Jay was standing outside the door, nervously clenching his hands together. I heard him call into the shed, "Come on, guys! She'll be back any second and she'll have a fit if she finds you in there!"

All right, to be fair, I have had a few fits and Jay has been right at the center of most of them. And I do like my shed to be my own private space, like a bedroom would be if there was a bedroom in the Appletons' house large enough to fit me. But like I said yesterday, this is the new and improved Melly Mills who acts mature and doesn't get mad at stupid little boys and their stupid little friends--

Yeah, so what can I say? Old habits are hard to break. I was at that door as fast as my nine-foot legs could carry me, waving my arms and yelling loud enough to shake the walls! You should have seen the three of them scatter like rats as I chased them around the room, under my bed, over my sneakers, into the legs of my desk and chair, and out into the orchard.

"I warned them," said Jay, and then he disappeared as well.

When they'd gone, I fell over and couldn't stop laughing. Real mature, Melly. Way to make friends and influence people.

A New Chapter

2008-08-25T11:00:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the next big chapter of my life. I woke up this morning and decided to be a more mature, more responsible Melly Mills--and it wasn't even a dream that convinced me. Even I can't have life-altering dreams every night.

Doc measured my height and weight yesterday. I won't tell you my weight, except that it's more than most cars but less than many pickup trucks or SUVs. But finally, my height was eighteen feet exactly. In another country that would be 5.486 meters and not much of a milestone at all, but here in America that's still kind of a big deal.

So no more acting like an immature 17-plus footer for me. No more dangling boys upside down by their feet and tickling them until they wet their pants, no matter how much they deserve it. And no more triple exclamation points to show how loud I can yell or how enthusiastic I can be.

Today I also start my new job, picking fruit for the Appletons--mostly apples, which makes sense from their name, but also some peaches, pears, and cherries. They even have one tree with all four cuz-- excuse me, because it's an apple tree with peach, pear, and cherry branches grafted onto the trunk. Mr. Appleton calls it his Eden Tree because it looks like something that came out of God's own garden.

I like that tree a lot because it has more to offer the world than usual--just like me, or so I like to think.

End of Chapter One

2008-08-22T11:00:00.000-05:00

I got a letter today from the school superintendent about the school board's decision, making it official what I already knew. They won't be able to provide transportation, since there isn't a bus big enough for me, so I'll have to walk to school.

There was a map enclosed with the letter of my "strongly suggested" route--the long way that bypasses downtown. And there's a number I'm supposed to call if I'm going to be going home later or earlier than normal. I like that they included that word, normal. On some streets there will be wooden barricades set up for me to walk between but still, that's going to be considered normal.

School starts on September 4th but I'll have a special orientation on the 3rd to meet my teachers and arrange my room--which will be a secondary gym that's being converted into a classroom. The letter says it has a high ceiling and double-doors that open directly onto the faculty parking lot. It will be the only part of the school I'll ever need to go into, kind of like an old-time one-room schoolhouse. Maybe I'll get to wear my "Little House on the Prairie" dress after all!!!

Once school starts I'm going to be meeting more people than I've ever known in my life, and most of them will be my own age!!! It's exciting and scary. It really does feel like an important chapter in my life is coming to an end, so I'll write it out here...

END OF CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO BEGINS ON MONDAY, AUGUST 25th.

Caging the Monster

2008-08-21T11:00:00.000-05:00

I've already run out of the sleeping pills Doc gave me, cuz I've got to take a whole bunch of them at a time on account of my size and metabolism. But maybe after last night, I won't need them anymore.

I dreamed of the meadow again but this time everything was calm and peaceful. It was daytime again with blue skies and a rainbow from one horizon to the other. I could still hear my monster shrieking in the distance 'tho, along with a whole lot of banging. I went to investigate and didn't feel frightened at all.

Over the ridge, I came to my old barn. Something inside was making a terrible racket, banging again and again into the doors, but the crossbar them shut. Red light and smoke seeped out through every crack as my monster struggled to break free.

"It's about time you showed up," said Miss Freckles. She stood by the door with her hands on her hips. "I caught your monster for you--don't thank me or anything."

"You? You're the one who did this?"

"It wasn't so hard. I'm not the one he's so pissed off at. Well, maybe a little, but he's your monster and not mine."

"I don't know what to say," I told her.

"Thank you would be appropriate."

"Oh, right, thank you."

"You're welcome. Just don't get used to me fixing all your messes. You're not my responsibility. Not anymore." She looked at me seriously. "This is only temporary, Melly. That door won't hold forever. Eventually you'll have to face him and own up to what you've done."

"I know," I whispered. "I'm just not ready--Oh!" I had a sudden, terrible thought. "In another dream, the barn was the last place I saw Ma!!!"

"Your mother?" Miss Freckles sighed. "Yeah, I've got that covered too. You really would be helpless without me."

She led me to the other side of the barn and there was Ma!!! I got down on my knees and hugged her close.

"Oh, Melly, Melly, Melly, you've grown so much!" she exclaimed.

I shook my head. "An inch and a half, maybe, since our last dream together."

"Not height, Melly. You've grown in other ways, too. You can relate to other people now and you're well on the road to finding your own place in the world."

Miss Freckles chortled under her breath. "Your own place in a circus freakshow is more like it."

"Hush, you!" Ma snapped and, remarkably, Miss Freckles dropped her head.

"I don't know if there really is a place in the world for someone like me," I said to Ma. "I feel out of place every time I go into town."

"And yet, you keep on going," said Ma. "You'll be going into town every day for school, and doesn't it feel more natural and normal each time?"

"Yes," I had to admit.

"Your father and I did you wrong, Melly. We had to hide you away, but at such a high cost... I hope someday you can forgive us."

"Oh, Ma! There's nothing to forgive!"

Miss Freckles grinned. "If she only knew..."

"Hush!" Ma snapped again.

I looked from Ma to Miss Freckles and back. "Do you two know each other?"

Miss Freckles laughed. "If you think your deepest, darkest secret is the one in that barn, you're in for the shock of your life!"

Miss Freckles was still laughing as the dream faded around me. The last thing I heard was Ma's voice saying, "You have a long way to go, Melly dear, but you'll get there. I have faith in you!"

One Thing Away from Ruin

2008-08-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

Mr. Appleton pulled me aside today for a talk. That sounds funny, doesn't it? Cuz you know he'd need a tractor to literally pull me aside, and what he actually did was sit me down for a talk. While he stood. Looking up.

"Melly, we're tapped out. We've taken out loans and second mortgages in order to set you up in your shed. The money we get from the state doesn't cover any of it, or even a fraction of your food budget."

He must have noticed my expression of worry because he quickly added, "Not that we're unhappy to have you here. Quite the opposite, in fact--I've never seen Becka happier since the day I married her."

This sounded true, 'tho Mr. Appleton really only talked about Mrs. Appleton being happy, and not himself or Jay. Mrs. Appleton seemed so happy to have a girl around that she hardly paid any attention at all to her own son anymore, which was yet another reason for Jay to resent me.

"Any little thing could be the end for us," said Mr. Appleton. "Any unforeseen expense, any unexpected damages, any injury caused to another person, or anything that costs us any money at all. If any of these things happen, the state will take you away and I honestly don't know what would happen to you then. Do you understand?"

I nodded, but Mr. Appleton was waiting for more than just a head-bob so I also told him, "Yes, I understand." I'd never seen his face so tightly drawn and serious.

I never imagined things were so bad as Mr. Appleton made them out to be. How would I ever keep from costing the Appletons whatever was left of their life savings when the world and everything in it is as delicate as Ma's old porcelain tea set--which she never let me play with, but which I still ended up breaking when I accidentally bumped into the house hard enough to knock over the curio cabinet.

"Also," said Mr. Appleton, just when I thought there couldn't possibly be any more, "we usually hire a few farm hands to help with the harvest, but this year the orchard budget is a little tight. Jay and his friends will help some but I really need you to step up."

"Of course," I said. I always helped Ma and Pa at harvest time and it's not like there were any crops this year at Mills Farm anyway. "What about that GlomCorp sponsorship?" I asked "That would help a little, wouldn't it?"

Mr. Appleton smiled a little with just the right side of his mouth. "That would help a lot, actually, but I haven't heard from GlomCorp in a week now and anyway, Becka's not too keen on anyone using you to shill products for them. For now, we'll assume the sponsorship deal is dead and be pleasantly surprised if it ever does happen."

When he said that, Mr. Appleton reminded me a little of Pa. Both of them had that "hope for the best but expect the worst" thing going on, and both of them kept their distance from me. With Pa, it was cuz he loved his horse more than he ever loved me and that's okay cuz he did still love me too. But Mr. Appleton doesn't like me at all and only keeps me around cuz it makes his wife happy. He still thinks I'm a monster. I can see it in his eyes.

The Illusion is Complete

2008-08-19T11:00:00.000-05:00

Something amazing and magical happened inside my shed today. There's a fuzzy white carpet on the floor now, picked out by Mrs. Appleton, and a headboard for my mattress--built by Mr. Appleton and Jay and stained birch-white to match my desk, chair, and shelves. As a finishing touch, Mrs. Appleton had posters made of "hot boys" from movies I've never seen and TV shows I don't watch, each blown up to six feet by nine and plastered at odd angles all over the cotton candy walls.

The magical part is, when I'm in my room, everything seems to become normal sized including me!!! And any small person who comes in looks like a Munchkin from the Land of Oz!!!

There are still a few things out of scale, like my computer--which could be a toy sitting on the corner of my desk. Or Tinkerbell, who might look like a weirdly-shaped dog with Guernsey markings if you catch sight of her in the corner of your eye. It's not enough to break the illusion 'tho, cuz all those posters have a powerful effect.

"Now this is a girl's room!" Mrs. Appleton exclaimed. She was jumping up and down on the bed like she'd suddenly become a six-year-old, only smaller. She jumped hard enough to knock over the giant teddy bear she'd bought me, which was almost as tall as she was. Boo-Bear, she insists on calling in.

She invited me to join her but I shook my head. "Could you take your shoes off, Mrs. A?" I asked, because somebody in that room had to be an adult.

I have to admit, the shed finally does look like a girl's bedroom. A normal girl's bedroom. Not my bedroom, maybe, but I place where I can hang out and pretend.

Staying Inside with the Doors Locked

2008-08-18T11:00:00.001-05:00

I confronted Jay yesterday and accused him of sneaking under the fence last summer to watch me bathe. I didn't have any proof, except for the weird dream I had in the back of Dr. Crisp's truck, but Jay didn't deny it. It's hard to lie about stuff like that when you're being dangled upside-down by an angry seventeen-foot, eleven-and-a-half-inch girl.

"Give me a break, Melly! What fifteen-year-old boy would turn down a chance to see a naked girl, larger than life?"

I wanted to get back at him, and I could have. It would have been so easy, while I was holding him by the feet with one hand, to peel him like a banana with the other--but that's one banana I don't ever want to see. Never, ever, ever, ever!!! Instead I tickled him until he peed his pants, dropped him on his head, and told him we were officially even 'tho we're probably not.

Jay rubbed his head and looked up at me. "I'm sorry, Melly. That all happened back before I knew you. I wouldn't watch you now though, not even if you paid me."

"Gee, thanks."

His face turned red. "You know what I mean! Besides, I never went back again after..." He made a twisting motion with his hands.

"So you really were there that day." I frowned. "And I suppose you told Mrs. Rodriguez all about it?"

"Of course not! I told her you had a temper problem and about some of the stupid stuff you've done to me since my parents took you in, and she actually laughed. She said she'd done all that and worse to her own little brother when she was your age. After that I was too embarrassed to tell her how I'm actually two months older than you, and we never got around to...that day."

I let out a long breath. My deepest, darkest secret was still safe, or as safe as it could ever be in the hands of Jay Appleton.

"Still, I can't ever get that image out of my mind," he said.

I nodded. "I feel really bad about what I did. I have enough guilt to--"

"Choke a horse?" Jay suggested. "No, sorry, that wasn't funny."

"I have enough guilt to give me nightmares every time I close my eyes."

"Good," said Jay. "You deserve your nightmares." I didn't say anything to that cuz I knew he was right. I haven't had any more dreams since Doc gave me those sleeping pills but I will have to face my monster eventually.

From now on, no matter how hot the day is or how much that old creek seems to call out to me, I'm sticking to the private shower in my shed. The one with no windows and a door that I can lock!!!

Like a Gigantic Fly on the Wall

2008-08-15T11:00:00.000-05:00

Dr. Crisp came back to the orchard last night to pick up my math exam, just like he promised. He parked the big moving truck next to the house and accepted Mrs. Appleton's invitation to step into the kitchen for pie and coffee before he had to leave for his meeting. I snuck over to the truck and of course it was unlocked.

As quietly as I could, I opened the back, crawled in feet-first, and pulled the doors shut behind me. There wasn't room for me to stretch out my legs, and the roof was too low for me to sit up, but at least I fit. It was comfortable too, cuz Doc had cushioned the floor with padding.

Good old Doc, always looking out for me. What would I ever do without him?

I almost drifted off to sleep but I woke up when the front door of the truck opened and closed and I heard Dr. Crisp tell the Appletons to "Take care, now." Then the motor came to life and we were off.

My sleep-deprived brain was spinning in a frenzy during the entire trip. I could fit into a truck, and that meant I could go anywhere--well, anywhere a big moving truck could go, which is quite a lot of places. If I had a driver, I could visit big cities, forests, deserts...I could see the ocean, and go for a swim in water too deep for me to stand!!!

Except I've never learned how to swim, so I'd need to take lessons first.

The truck stopped and I heard Dr. Crisp get out, his footfalls fading away across the pavement. I waited a few minutes before I emerged from the truck and verified that yes, I was just outside of Town Hall and there was nobody else around to see me. My legs were cramped up from just that short trip, so I had to stretch a bit and rethink my grand plans to tour the country in a truck like this--but maybe they make trucks in a bigger size that would give me more room?

I found the window Dr. Crisp said would be open, and stood to the side of it where I could hear and still be out of sight. The meeting was already going--or should I call it "the fight"? Mr. Peterson was loudly proclaiming that they'd be ice skating in Hades before I'd be allowed to disrupt classes in his town.

"We have to educate her," said Mrs. Lee. "If she doesn't graduate high school, she'll never go to college, marry a rich man, and get to buy lots of expensive clothes and designer footwear!"

"We'll pay for continued tutoring at her home," said Mr. Peterson. "And there are plenty of colleges that offer courses over the Internet."

"You can't keep Melly at home forever, Cedric," said Dr. Crisp.

"Sure we can," said Mr. Peterson. "In fact, I'm looking for the funds to build a thirty-foot gate around that orchard to keep her from ever menacing ordinary folks again!"

I seriously considered saying something just then, and letting them know I was there, but they were all talking at once and shouting over each other so they wouldn't have even heard me.

"The issue in front of us is very simple," said Mrs. Lee, when the room had calmed down again. "We have to treat Melinda Mills like any other student and allow her to come to school if that is what her guardians want for her to do. As long as we can reasonably accommodate her physical disabilities--"

"Being tall is not a physical disability," Coach Saunders stated. "If it was, I'd be able to get much better parking spaces."

"Melly can't fit through standard doors, or stand upright in the hallways, or fit into most classrooms," said Mrs. Lee. "She can't do necessary things the other children can, and from a legal standpoint that's a physical disability."

"Humph," said Coach Saunders. "You're not putting her in my gym all day. The physical education program is already stretched thin without losing our biggest space."

My heart fell. Was a school gym really the only place I'd fit? No wonder Coach Saunders was against me, and Mr. Peterson too, which meant Dr. Crisp would have to win over Mrs. Rodriguez in order to get a majority of board members on my side!!!

"I worry about the safety of the other children," said Mrs. Rodriguez.

"Melly is well-behaved and respectful," said Dr. Crisp. "She wouldn't hurt a soul."

"I've brought a witness who says otherwise. Mr. Appleton, would you come in here?"

Mr. Appleton? Had I heard that right? I know I was sleep-deprived and not thinking clearly but I couldn't imagine what would Mr. Appleton be doing at the school board meeting. I risked a peek into the window but it wasn't Mr. Appleton who stepped sheepishly into the hall. It was Jay Appleton.

"Have a seat, Mr. Appleton," Mrs. Rodriguez said formally to Jay. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Jay.

"Good. Tell us about the day you first saw Melinda Mills."

I know the day I first saw Jay. It was after my first disastrous trip into town, when they chained me up like an animal, and when the Appletons volunteered to look after me--but that's not the day Jay told the school board about.

"It was last summer," he said. "There's a huge fence between our orchard and the Mills Farm, with lots of signs that Mr. Mills put up that trespassers would be shot on sight--but I found a gap at the bottom that I could just squeeze through, so I thought I'd look around and see what was so gosh-darn secret. That's when I first saw Melly, washing her cows in the creek."

My jaw dropped and my fingers twitched all on their own, wanting to strangle that little creep for spying on me in my own private farmland. And I didn't just wash the cows. I also washed my clothes and on warm days I took a nice long bath--what exactly had Jay seen? I felt myself blushing at the thought.

"Did you ever go back after that?" asked Mrs. Rodriguez, leading Jay through his story like an expert lawyer on TV.

"Every Tuesday, for a while," Jay confessed.

THAT LITTLE PERVERT!!! I wanted to kill him!!!

"Now can you tell us what happened on Tuesday, October 9th of last year?"

My heart almost stopped and my throat went dry. That was the day Pa died. Was Jay there when it happened?

Jay started to say something but instead he asked, "What has six legs and two heads?"

"We're not here for riddles, son," snapped Mr. Peterson.

"It's not a riddle," said Jay. "It's a monster!" He pointed to the other side of the room, at my horrible two-headed dream-beast of exposed bone and rotting flesh, with four legs on the floor and two more dangling at the sides of its barrel-shaped body.

"Nice doggy," said Mrs. Rodriguez, adjusting her thick glasses.

The creatures howled and-- I woke up in the back of the truck. Dr. Crisp looked at me through the open doors. "You missed the whole meeting, Melly. You really should try to get more sleep at night."

I tried to sit up and of course bumped my head. "Did they--? Was there--?"

"The vote was three to two. You're going to school, Melly."

"Okay, good, but that's not important right now. Was there a monster at the meeting, and did Jay Appleton tell everybody...stuff...about me?"

Dr. Crisp looked at me curiously. "There were no monsters or teenage boys in attendance. Just the five board members and a whole lot of boring talk. It probably would have put you to sleep again, even if you'd woken up for it in the first place."

Doc drove me back to the orchard and gave me some pills to take for my bad dreams so I could get some sleep. I plan to sleep for the entire weekend and deal with Jay on Monday.

Oooooooooh!!!

2008-08-14T15:00:00.000-05:00

Oh, wait!!! I can sneak into town in the back of Doc's empty moving truck and listen to the meeting from just outside the window!!!

Some Kind of Code?

2008-08-14T11:00:00.000-05:00

After staying up two nights in a row, I could barely keep my eyes open by the time Dr. Crisp came by today for our tutoring session. Strangely, he drove up in a large rental truck. "What are you hauling?" Mr. Appleton asked him.

"Nothing yet. I have a friend who's moving into town, but right now this truck is just a big empty space." Doc looked right at me as he said this, like he thought it would mean something important to me, but I was too dead tired to think about what he was saying.

"Is that school board meeting still happening tonight?" Mr. Appleton asked.

"Sure is. In the second-floor meeting room at Town Hall. It's a nice room, except that it gets stuffy in the summer and we have to open a window." He looked at me again and said, "Usually it's the window looking out onto the parking lot."

I blinked and yawned.

"The lot where I'm going to park my big empty truck," he added.

"Humn," I said, cuz it seemed like he was trying hard to get some kind of reaction from me.

"And the meeting is closed to the public?" Mr. Appleton asked.

"Strictly closed. The only way a person might hear what's going on would be if they happened to be located 18 feet off the ground, just outside that open window." It was like he was speaking in code, I thought, but I was just too tired to figure out the message.

"I have a math exam for you, Melly," he said, handing me a few sheets of paper. "I'll be by later to pick up your answers, on my way to the school board meeting, in my big empty truck."

I took the papers and nodded. I wanted to ask Doc if he'd come up with a way for me to attend the meeting, like he said, but I'm sure he'd have told me about it if he had.

All-Nighter, Hour 9

2008-08-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

It's 6AM and the sun's coming up over the apple trees at last. I'm so tired I can barely think straight, but I successfully avoided my dream monsters for one whole night!!!

One night down and the rest of my lifetime to go...

All-Nighter, Hour 8

2008-08-13T05:00:00.000-05:00

5AM. The sky is getting lighter but there's no sun yet. This is normally when I'd be waking up to milk the cows. Maybe I should go to sleep for a minute or two, wake up, and trick my body into feeling like I got a whole night's sleep.

Cows need milking and I'll bring Tinkerbell with me for company. She's not giving any milk yet 'tho, cuz she hasn't had her calf--'tho she's getting fatter every day!!!

All-Nighter, Hour 7

2008-08-13T04:00:00.000-05:00

4AM. It'll be getting light soon. Now I know why adults drink coffee or Red Bull.

Hey!!! I have a red bull--Old Carl--except he's more of a dark brown with white patches. We can play bullfighter with a pair of my red AthletiGlom shorts. Ole!!!

That ought to wake me up.

All-Nighter, Hour 6

2008-08-13T03:00:00.000-05:00

I've got my second wind, or third wind, or I don't know how many winds I've had cuz I stopped counting already. It's 3AM, by the way.

The only thing on TV right now is an infomercial about a skin-cream that doubles as a marinade for chicken and can also be used to patch up a flat tire. It comes in original, barbecue, or teriyaki flavor.

I should ask Mr. Appleton to hook up some more channels.

All Nighter, Hour 5

2008-08-13T02:00:00.000-05:00

2AM. So sleepy...zzzzzzzdlkf;jasd-- Hmm??? Almost drifted off there. Almost...

All Nighter, Hour 4

2008-08-13T01:00:00.000-05:00

It's 1AM and I've never been so tired in my life.

I should take another victory lap but I haven't won anything else so far.

Maybe after this game I'll take a defeat lap.

All-Nighter, Hour 3

2008-08-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

It's midnight and I just won a game of spider solitaire on the difficulty level with four different suits!!! Hooray for me!!! And now my eyelids are drooping, so I'm going to do a victory lap around the orchard--Coach Saunders would be so proud!!!

All-Nighter, Hour 2

2008-08-12T23:00:00.000-05:00

It's 11PM and spider solitaire is kicking my butt!!! Tinkerbell is asleep in my lap and I don't think she's in the scary meadow cuz she's waaaaay too content. If I fell asleep now, maybe I'd join her in a happy cow-dream--but I don't want to risk it!!!

All-Nighter, Hour 1

2008-08-12T22:00:00.000-05:00

It's 10PM and I'm not sleeping. I'm going to stay up all night watching TV, playing spider solitaire, and not going back to the spooky meadow with Miss Freckles and that other monster.

I'll try to check in with my blog every hour. If an hour goes by and you don't hear from me, COME BY AND WAKE ME UP!!!

My Monster

2008-08-12T11:00:00.001-05:00

I fell asleep last night and dreamed about the spooky meadow. Everything was the same as before except now I had Tinkerbell in my arms--which makes sense cuz that's where she was when I fell asleep.

Tink got startled when the first gargling howl came from over the ridge. She squirmed and struggled, so I had to hold her tight and try to calm her down.

And guess who showed up with us right then. No, not Dream Boy--I only wish!--it was Miss Freckles, the giant girl who hates my guts, and she was cackling with glee. "What dark and evil part of your mind is this?" she asked.

"I thought you were the dark and evil part of my mind," I shot back. "I wish I could have traded those GlomCorp clothes for you instead of for Dream Boy!"

"That really hurts, Melly." She made a momentary effort to look sad but failed miserably. I think it had something to do with the gleam in her eyes as she looked out at the swirling red smoke rising from the other side of the ridge. She clasped her hands together when the beast let out another tortured shriek. "Why, Melly! I do believe you've made yourself a monster!"

"Why is it my monster?" I asked, stroking Tink to calm her down again. "Maybe it's your monster."

"It's your mind, so it's your monster. That's the way it works."

"But how do I know this isn't your mind?"

"Oh, Melly." Miss Freckles laughed. "Do you really think I'd invite you into my mind? The creature on the other side of that ridge is a manifestation of your fears, your guilt, and your anxieties. It's your very own monster, created by you!"

The shriek came again, closer than ever, and the red smoke swirled from something large passing through it. Miss Freckles leaned forward eagerly and waited, while I swallowed hard and tried to turn away--but I couldn't. It was like my eyes were glued to the spot!!!

Slowly, a creature emerged from the smoke. It had six legs, two heads, and patches of flesh that clung loosely to its visible bones.

Miss Freckles recoiled with her entire body. "This is your monster? This is the skeleton in your closet?"

My mouth was so dry, I couldn't even answer.

"What have you done, Melly?" Miss Freckles demanded.

"N-n-nothing," I said, unconvincingly.

Miss Freckles launched herself at me, swinging punches that could have flattened a heavyweight boxer--pretty easily too, since she's my size or close to it. I fell back and raised my arms to protect myself. I know it was only a dream but it sure felt real as she connected her fists with my face, arms, and shoulders.

"What have you done, Melly?" she kept asking. "What have you done? What have you done? What have you done?"

I woke to find Tink mooing in my ear. I stroked her neck and told her it was all just a nightmare, and I'm sure it was--but then, why are my hands still shaking as I type this, and why are there bruises coming up on my arms as if I got hit for real?

Tinkerbell Mooooves In

2008-08-11T11:00:00.000-05:00

I barely slept all weekend. Every time I closed my eyes I was back in the dark and spooky meadow with that monstrous something waiting just over the ridge. It's like my brain was a TV and I couldn't change the channel!!!

Don't tell Mr. and Mrs. Appleton but I've brought my favorite heifer, Tinkerbell, into the shed to keep me company at night. She's not "shed-broken" yet, so I don't let her up on my mattress, but I don't mind curling up with her on the floor with a blanket. Tink's a smart cow, so I'm sure I can teach her to leave her cow-pies in the litter box I made for her from the wooden crate my GlomCorp stuff came in.

The school board met on Friday night and decided on all kinds of budget items, new rules, and curriculum changes--but they couldn't agree on what to do about me. Dr. Crisp said they were deadlocked, with two members voting to let me attend the school, two members voting to keep me out, and one who wasn't able to make up his or her mind.

Doc wouldn't tell me who voted which way but I think I can figure it out. He would have been on my side, of course, and I think Mrs. Lee liked me and my designer jeans well enough to let me in. Mr. Peterson hates me and would have wanted me removed from his school, his town, and his planet, if that were ever put to a vote. Mrs. Rodriguez probably voted against me too, after Jay whined to her for an hour about how mean I am. Which means Coach Saunders gets to cast the final vote. I sure hope he won't decide based on how many laps I can run around the orchard or how many chin-ups I can do!!!

Doc said the school board is meeting again this week. If the other board members can't persuade that last member to vote with them, it will be up to the chairperson to decide--and that's Mr. Peterson, unfortunately. I asked if I could go and plead my own case but Doc didn't think so. "The meeting is closed to the public but maybe I can arrange something for you."

Anyway, that's just one more thing for me to be anxious about while I'm avoiding sleep.

Bonus: The Olympics!!!

2008-08-09T12:36:00.002-05:00

Did anyone else catch the opening ceremony of the Olympics last night? Wow!!! I didn't know about these games until just recently, so it's probably too late for me to enter--'tho I'm sure I could win a gold medal at some of those events. Like anything where you have to lift or throw something, who could beat me? And those hurdles in the track races wouldn't slow me down very much. And there's also women's basketball!!!

But here's a list of sports that I don't think I'd be very good at:

1. Diving. I don't know that the diving board could support my weight. Also, they'd have to refill the pool after every dive!!!

2. Archery. With the bows and arrows they use, I'd look kind of silly. Like cupid. And I probably wouldn't be able to hit the broad side of a barn, either.

3. Equestrian. Me? On a horse? The cruelty to animal people would be all over me!!!

4. Cycling. Probably not going to happen unless GlomCorp makes me a custom-sized 120-speed bike.

5. Balance Beam. Are you kidding? Have you seen my size 73-and-a-half sneakers???

What do you guys think? Should I start training now for London in 2012?