Giants Midnight Replay

intermadrid: San Francisco Giants …………….MORE...

Thu, 26 May 2011 11:12:17 -0400

San Francisco Giants

…………….MORE LIKE……………..

let’s not forget Santiago Casilla.

Stress

Fri, 20 May 2011 01:26:00 -0400

I have been stressed lately. Getting finished with my finals, switching jobs, eating a lot of pizza, and watching the Giants….. all of these things stress me out. I want to say that my “magical vacation” to Chicago to see friends and the Giants play at Wrigley Field was a cloud of fun and relaxation, but it really was just more stress. I will fill those blanks in with a post when I get a chance. For now I am wallowing in a couple of stress free days. Now all that stresses me out are the Giants. Why did I even dream that this win would be an easy one?

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The Omar Vizquel defensive inside play of the game goes to:

Nate Schierholtz for making an absolutely balls to the wall flying catch to end the game. If he missed the ball we lose. Flat out spectacular!

The Eugenio Velez defensive mishap of the night goes to:

Miguel Tejada, sure he made an amazing dive to get the ball but how much does that mean when you almost throw it away…. at this point I know I am being petty, the guy is getting better.

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The Jack Donaghy (hero) award goes to:

Madison Bumgarner, how do you win your first game, hit a double and suppress the hell out of the opposing batters. Madison went all beast-mode on the dodgers today, I’m impressed.

The Devon Banks (goat) award goes to:

Police people. I know I know, I am suppose to welcome safety to the ballpark right? nah, this just looks like a my house after the kegger I threw in high school got broken up.

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more stuff:

Fontenot gets the scoring started!

The absolute meanest Pablo face I have ever seen. Awesome!

When you can’t win you just go after the batters I guess.

I love that look that pitchers have when they can’t believe that they just gave up a hit.

Soooo close to his first shutout. zoiks. bummer moment here.

I probably should have giving Fontenot the Velez award today, but I just couldn’t. I like the guy too much.

Usually a good sign, if you have two outs in the ninth, not today. Brian needs to take a day or two to heal that ankle.

That is the second batter that got hit tonight. just saying…

Who is this guy? and what has he done with the old crappy Tejada? No joke, let’s pay some respect to a guy who seems to be turning it around. I really do want to root for you buddy, just give me a reason.

Take notes Darren Ford, this is the only way you are going to make the bigs.

Walking Off

Wed, 11 May 2011 01:21:00 -0400

Last night my boss took me out to eat, we went out for burgers and he tried to convince me to not quit my job. We ate our burgers and had a couple of uncomfortable moments. Eating, drinking, me talking about “how money matters to me now”, as if I’m some sort of adult. After dinner we split ways, I went drinking with a friend, had a few too many and ended up running around SOHO kicking trashcans over at 3 am. At some point I blacked out, got blue paint all over my pants, told a poet that I hate poetry and lost $20. I woke up at 1pm today, my head was throbbing.

There’s no walk off hit in real life. I can’t make an amazing latte for someone, get cheered by a room full of satisfied customers, be mobbed by delirious co-workers and carried out on their shoulders. Life doesn’t provide the moments that baseball provides. I guess that’s why we get shitty drunk and run around manhattan kicking trashcans over.

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The Omar Vizquel Defensive Excellence Award Goes To:

Aubrey Huff for sticking with the under-thrown ball to nail Miranda at 2nd.

The Eugenio Velez Defensive Indifference Award Goes To:

Freddy Sanchez… surprisingly. For making 2 errors on one play, bobbling a ball and then throwing it too low for huff.

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The Setoguchi Award (Hero) Goes to:

Lincecum…… I wanted it tonight. I was sniffing a no-hitter when I turned the game on when I got home in the 2nd inning. “is there a hit yet”?

My girlfriend goes to sleep and I ask her…..”should I wake you up if anything “historic” happens?”….. It’s gonna happen… someday. Until then, sleep tight.

The Datsyuk Award (Goat) Goes to:

Ian Kennedy, not only for throwing a damn fine game but for breaking up the no-hitter in the 6th. disappointing, I was really feeling like tonight could have been the night for Timmy. But just like Datsyuk… you have to recognize greatness.

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More Stuffs

This makes me wonder if the phrasing “Andre The Giant” is copy write, or if they felt it was appropriate to call it “Andre el Gigante” just because of his latin roots? Either way it is kinda cool, and kinda lame, I can’t decide yet.

Buster sniffs out a hit.

“Vaaat I git no vin today, eeez ok”

Cody Ross does the Freddy Sanchez “fake like it’s inside” dance

Then he throws his bat like a spoiled brat. haha

Tim threw two perfect corner pitches for strikes in a row in the 7th inning. Both times they showed a close up of his face and he was mouthing “fuck” with a disappointed look on his face. Perfection must be hard.

Buster Posey is making gloves drop like beats……. ok that didn’t work as a metaphor. Whatever, Posey is playing great.

Can some internet nerd draw some lasers shooting out of these eyes? Cause Ford is straight up cyclopsing dudes with these lazy browns. “Ya, I just stole on you… what?”

Huff has the swing of the game, with this karate chop fouling a ball at his eyes.

Amy G. is the only thing in the world that makes Cody not want to smile. I feel ya Cody, I feel ya.

GMR Field Trip

Wed, 04 May 2011 01:09:00 -0400

The Mets have a scoreboard problem. They start playing the “Let’s Go Met’s” chant before their first batter even gets into the box, which leads to the inevitable scoreboard prompt burnout by the 5th inning. I say, only sounds until at least the 4th.

There was some pretty great banter back and forth between the Met’s and Giants fans during the game. And it went back and forth pretty well, through our bases loaded pop-outs, and through their bases loaded double play. Organic “Let’s Go Giants” Chants were squashed by thunderous boos but Giants fans definitely grabbed a foothold in Citi field tonight.

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I’m just gonna post pictures and give a couple of my thoughts. But first…..

Stock watch

Rising stock:

Schierholtz, Fontenot, Lopez, and Huff (a little bit).

Falling stock:

Tejada (majorly), Burriss, Ross, and Vogelsong (sorry buddy)

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If you read this blog you know that I am a Fontenot fan. He just embodies the underdog thing. He had an important hit tonight and played solid defense at SS.

Mets fan definitely remember Mota, and they don’t like him. Note to self: look up what Mota ever did to Mets fans.

The AAA crew. Ford, Burriss, and Rohlinger, chumming it up on the fence.

Just showing again how short Fontenot really is. Sure the angle distorts the view a little bit, but not much.

Stretching it out.

Burrell and Huff were chatting the whole afternoon before the game. There was not a lot of smiles going around. In fact the only one acting loose was Bochy who played catch with Ross for a while. Lots of focused looks on the Giants before the game.

Henry Schulman in the wild. zoiks!

The only action shot I took all night. I was in foul ball territory and I got about 4 that were hit in about a 30 foot radius, so I couldn’t be holding the camera the whole time.

Constant coverage!

Terribler Than Terrible

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 21:38:39 -0400

“These aren’t your father’s Nationals” That’s what Krukow said on the pregame show. I am assuming he was speaking about the endless futility of the Expos. At the same time Kruk might have a point. The Nationals are not terrible, but to say that the they are not terrible would be a lie. They ARE terrible, but the Giants are terribler. The Giants are the 111 loss 2004 Diamondbacks right now. The Giants are the fucking 43 win 2003 Detroit Tigers right now. The Giants are the fucking 1994-2010 Pittsburg Pirates right now. The Giants’ bats are limper than a senior citizen’s wrist. Ok let’s leave it at that. So let’s all just do some jumping jacks, loosen up and settle in for a LONG road trip. Let’s enjoy this round of terrible baseball while it lasts. Let’s hope it doesn’t last long.

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The Omar Award goes to:

Aubrey Huff for the excellent play down the first base line early in the game.

The Velez Award goes to:

Aaron Rowand and Cody Ross. I think everyone knows what I am talking about…… Just look at the picture.

“let’s share this ball and be happy” says those dorks.

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The Dorus Rijkers Award (Hero) goes to:

Tim Lincecum who found his good pitches a couple of innings too late. Poor bastard, if you don’t throw a shutout then you pretty much have no shot at winning with this lineup.

I forgot to snap a pic of Tim tonight so I stole this pic from here..

The Sea Award (Goat) goes to:

Jason Marquis who is a mutha fucking Giant KILLER. It’s unbelievable how much the Giants suck right now, and Marquis is just the wrong type of pitcher for us to face right now. I would rather face Halliday, Sabathia, Josh Johnson or pretty much any number of aces. A ground ball pitcher is the last thing I want to see on an upcoming schedule.

Here he is hitting an RBI hit and run on an impossible pitch to hit.

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Bonus Crap:

This bunt that worked (but ultimately didn’t work) doesn’t bother me. We are up against a ground ball double play pitcher, and we have a guy on base. Solid option.

This bunt does bother me, Miguel Tejada, former MVP, former slugger is bunting with no one on base and 36 year old legs. Now Tejada made it to first, I know, fair enough. But it just proves that Tejada knows that he sucks, and in my opinion should not be playing.

Right after Rowand and Cody decided that they wanted to share a fly ball Nix blasts a 2 run HR. Perfect timing. Can things go worse for the Giants?…….

Yes… Cody (why am I still in the lineup) Ross hits a single and gets throw out by 8-12 feet at 2nd base.

Buster (Don’t vote for me for the All-Star game ) Posey along with the rest of the Giants hitters swing about 20+ times at this pitch.

Posey throws his second runner out except he is called safe (make-up-call). This guy went on to score on that impossible hit and run Marquis hit.

Bring in the scrubs!!!!

Last Week In Giants

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 15:50:00 -0400

High light of the game (and possibly the week)

To say that the only Giants game that I will be able to see at AT&T this year was a downer is a huge understatement. Here are the facts.

1. We lost

2. It was damn cold (I forgot how cold SF gets… yes I’m an idiot).

3. I had standing room only tickets

4. EVERYONE was there early. Gone are the days where I would show up 2 hours early and was almost guaranteed to be able to catch a BP ball. Oh well, for better or worse… right?

5. I had just had my car impounded for parking on Mission street during rush hour (FUCKSHITDAMNFUCKING $475 later I got my car back!!!!)

The best seat in the house.

If you buy standing room only.

So ya, I enjoyed coming home, I enjoyed being at AT&T again. But I am much more looking forward to the Giants Vs Mets game at CITI Field where I have seats 17 rows behind the Giants dugout. And tickets are only $30 because the Mets are TERRIBLE.

But enough about me. Let’s talk about what the Giants are up to.

I’m just going to go through a couple of players and spout what I have been thinking about.

Fontenot

Can I get an amen? If given playing time I feel like Fontenot represents more runs saved on defense and more runs created on offense than Tejada. I know I am echoing someone but I get nervous every time the ball is hit to SS.

Pat Burrell

I want this guy in the lineup every day. Sure he makes a lot of outs, but he always takes at least 4 pitches. One of the shining examples of how to take an at bat.

Aaron Rowand

From now on I will probably not mention how garbage Rowand was. For Rowand we are going to have to put blinders on. I don’t remember what happened to Rowand last year… do you? All I know is there is some dude who looks like he sits on a toilet when he swings and he is saving our ass, game in and game out.

Darren Ford

…..Has more World Series Rings than Major league hits, and he totally deserves it.

2011 All Stars

1. Posey

2. Pablo

3. Timmy

4. Either Cain… or Wilson… not sure which one yet.

The Dog House.

1. Tejada (told you so)

2. Huff, but it’s not entirely his fault, he is hitting it into the defense a lot of the time.

3. Ross,….. is he playing for his job now? maybe.

4. The rotation, I know… I love them too, but they need to start getting deep into games or our bullpen will be all used up at the end of the season. My recommendation is to get Kroon, and Edelfson up here to help out for a while, drop Burriss and carry an extra reliever to keep the pressure off.

Last thing…

I see this sign every time I go to the park…. and I wonder… how the hell is a ball (or a freaking bat!) going to get back to the last row of the last section before the arcade, about 20 rows under the overhang and still be “flying”?

Spring break 2011

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 02:57:42 -0400

Reason for blogging hiatus: familial visit in California. Bad Internet connection, no Wifi. BE back in a few days.

Falling Down

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 23:19:00 -0400

This Zito story is sad. I want the bastard to win in the end… But he doesn’t. It’s as if you read all the Harry Potter books and in the last chapter it’s just Harry waking up in his small bedroom under the stairs cause it was all a dream. He grows up painfully awkwardly, never has a friend or a girlfriend. He eventually gets a sad job in some kind of cubicle, occasionally thinking about the amazing dream he once had as a kid under the stairs……….. What am I saying here? I don’t know. Just was thinking about what a crappy ending that would be for that book series…… anyway, Zito sucked tonight. And we are all lucky that he left early.

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The Omar Vizquel Excellence in Fielding Award goes to:

Miquel Tejada for a damn amazing play behind the bag at third.

The Eugenio Velez Lack of Glove Control Award goes to:

Barry Zito for the terrible pick off play that got thrown into center field.

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The Humbert Humbert Award (Hero) goes to:

Mota….. This guy shut it down. For the record I am not a huge Mota fan, maybe because he does not seem to fit into the typical Giants reliever formula….. aka, fiery, facial haired, weird delivery having. But he is solid, that solid guy who is easy to distrust, but in the end can deliver.

The Humber Humbert Award (goat) goes to:

Those damn double plays. Holy hell! How did we survive all that? It was a flashback to the Bengie days.

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Continuing with our theme…. Falling Down.

Saunders mark his territory on the mound.

Tejada falls down with purpose.

Pablo would rather do dirt angels than get to this ball. ……jk….. nice try Pablo.

Zito playing horsey on the infield.

More Stuff:

I don’t know what is going on with Rowand, I don’t know what he is smoking, but he is being reborn into some sort of bizzaro-Rowand

Posey puts one in the seats.

Sanchez was clutch tonight, in the field for staying with it on the Tejada flip, to catching this fly going back into CF, and at the plate by driving in the winning runs.

When are they gonna learn not to run on Posey?

Darren Ford’s first MLB at bat. At least he didn’t strike out looking.

The perfect ending….. again.

Almost Too Easy

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 00:56:00 -0400

I don’t like Jackie Robinson day. I always turn the game on and think that the Giants have changed their jerseys. It always takes me about an inning to realize that everyone is wearing the same number. So here is Matt Cain, winning his first game as #42.

I am feeling something with Cain this year, as if he is going to do something great. I have felt this for about three years now. But the better he gets….. the more you think it. If I thought he was on track to do something special last year (which he did) then this year I have to assume the same.

Year of the Cain……..? I guess we’ll see.

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The Omar Vizquel Defensive Wizardry Award Goes to:

Gotta give props where they are deserved. Kelly Johnson made a pretty nice play on this “almost” bloop single.

The Velez Award for Ball Bobbling Goes to:

Since this was an error free game I am going to put my favorite screenshot from last season up.

ooooh lord I love this photo!!!! hahahahahahahahaha

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The W. Mark Felt Award (hero) goes to:

Matt Cain, the guy is a beast. What more can I say about this guy?

The Richard Nixon Award (villain) goes to:

Again…… I can’t think of any…… This game was really really well played and kinda boring. I was going to say Jose Lopez for making Wilson come into the game, but… nah, he’s too good. No villain today…. So I will go with another classic Giants Villain Photo for those who know……

Mr. Poetry in motion…. The perfect Villain.

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More Stuff

Pablo continues his beastly run. If he knew where the strike zone was he could hit .400 some year.

I should have put the picture of Rowand’s strike out hat trick right here, but this picture has Rowand’s future replacement in it….. can you guess who it is?

Tejada is swinging a nice club right now. 3 hits.

Call me a second guesser, but I don’t see why Ford or Schierholtz was not in right field at this point. This is the 5th or 6th inning. It was 5-0, Just felt like we had wrapped it up by then.

Pretty lucky brake here, after a Pablo gone fishing strike-out Huff was hung out at least 8 feet.

Pablo is tearing it up over at the hot corner, I feel like I put a picture of his defensive plays in almost all my posts so far. (although he didn’t get the runner)

“Guuuuuyyyss…… Hey guuuuuuyyys…… I’m over here wait for meeeeee” says temporarily lost Aaron Rowand

I know that Fontenot didn’t really contribute in this game, but I just wanted to point out again that I am rooting for him and that the day that I didn’t do a game wrap he totally killed the ball and won the game for us. Love this guy!

I wonder if Darren Ford got his ring today? I really want to see this guy up in the bigs this year.

I like how all the Arizona fans have given this guy a 4 seat radius…. I’ve seen some pretty terrible beards this year, this one is pretty epic.

Wilson kisses the imaginary ring…… just a note. Anyone notice that Wilson now has matching orange (home) and grey (away) cleats? pretty legit.

Olberman's Giants Predictions

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 11:27:00 -0400

I browse other sites sometimes checking out what other people say about the Giants, as I suppose everyone else does. I came across this piece today on Keith Olberman’s blog called “Baseball Nerd” which, which I rather enjoy. He picks the Giants to win the West again. But he kinda puts it to the fans. Here is the whole paragraph he wrote.

San Francisco: The Giants would have to screw up – and badly – to not repeat in this division. Brian Sabean would have to do the exact opposite of what he did last year and tradeaway key components and I’m not betting on it. But I must say this: the Giants are rapidly becoming one of the most disliked teams in baseball – and not just because of the silly boastfulness of the ring ceremony and the rest. No World Championship team has ever been feted by fans who have been worse winners than have the 2010 Giants. I mean Red Sox Nation didn’t gloat this much like this after ’04. It’s understandable that a franchise that saw that much frustration and even peril might continue to celebrate for years to come, but there is a reason they coined the phrase “act like you’ve been there before.”

He is right in a sense. Obviously I disagree with him when he proclaims the Giants the “worst winners.” BUT it’s about time we shut the fuck up and start playing baseball again. I enjoyed the hell out of winning the World Series, but he has a valid point.

The Meat Grinder

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 01:46:00 -0400

The meat grinder continues to grind. …..(wow, john miller just said meat grinder when I was typing that!) ….. I just think that Meat Grinder is the perfect nickname for Aaron Rowand. He is obviously a serious Lunk Head (aka.. he is dumb as the dirt that he is standing on) but he has some sort of strange Lennie Small qualities. He is admirable because of his single mindedness. Maybe he is kind to small animals and raises pigeons or something. I can see him trying to relate to some sort of life form who has the same intellect level as him. (wow that was harsh, sorry if you’re some sort of intellectual Rowand). He is a grinder, we all know that. But a sort of inadequate small grinder that you have to hand crank. Hence the name…. Meat (cause he’s dumb) and Grinder (cause grinding is all he knows).. Take it or leave it, the bastard really helped us tonight…. strangely.

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The Omar Vizquel Defensive Achievement Award goes to:

Tim Lincecum for the play that will most likely be on all the highlight shows, getting hit by the ball, running after it, and sliding very similarly like a play he made last year, and throwing the runner out at first. Tremendous play, enjoyable to watch.

The Velez Terrible Defense Award goes to:

Brandon Belt, kicking a roller to first when you have runners on the corners is not a good way to break out of a slump. Brandon did take some fly balls in right before the game though. …….. so there’s that.

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The Holden Caulfield Award (hero) goes to:

Brian Wilson striking out the 9th. Brian is the Keystone (not the beer) in the cathedral that is the 2011 Giants. We are building on the fact that we can count on him to slam a door in the faces of our foes. Wilson needed this, so did the Giants, and so did we.

The Phonies Award (goat) goes to:

Juan Uribe for being a bitch after getting hit by Lincecum. Please dude. We just gave you a big fat expensive ring……. just take your base. You don’t have to tell the ump that Tim has hit you before. Don’t be an idiot, it was a 3-2 pitch.

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Extra Stuff

oh…. this is kinda a nice look! I like this.

Ya… actually Kemp.. this is almost in the strike zone, what are you doing the limbo for?

Another epic gun-down by Posey. This one is Mostly Timmy’s doing with his new and improved “release time” out of the stretch.

I know Bochy put this hit and run on….. but oooooh man this looks bad. Tejada got thrown out by soo much that he could have made a run down out of it.

Can’t believe Pablo hit a double swinging at this pitch. This guy can be amazing.

There was a LLF sighting (Little Lord Fontenot) unfortunately he has made little of his very limited playing time this year with a 0-9. I’m still rooting for you buddy.

I’ve seen Zito roaming the dugout 5 or six times this season when he was not pitching. He is always wearing his hat like this…. It reminds me of the farmers who used to plow the fields around where I grew up in the Central Valley (Exeter). He also reminds me of some kind of western town sheriff.

How annoying is that fan… the one in red who is walking in front row. Think about throwing down that much money for tickets and then it’s the 7th inning, it’s tied game, with a runner on 3rd. The 1-1 pitch is coming to potentially change the game and some total fucking retarded asshole is like “hey… um excuse me… um pardon me…. um… just trying to get to my seats…. umm sorry… just had to get some garlic fries…. meeep … haha…. excuse me… umm pardon….” SERIOUSLY!!!! Don’t even come to the fucking game, if you don’t know how NOT to ruin the game for others then cheer from your fucking house. STAY HOME!!!

Ouch! Nate doesn’t even wear protection on his hands in this weather.

This clown…….

And this clown…. on the other hand, have to wear two different versions of the October flap hat just to stay warm……. pussies!

I figured that I would put this picture in there. My cat Truman is an essential part of my baseball viewing experience.

This is How to Lose at Baseball

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 01:08:40 -0400

This whole game wasn’t a total loss. There were some sweet moments. The only one I remember was Uribe crying when he got his ring. Which was a nice moment for him and the fans. But you have to think about this…. does Uribe get this moment if Stow doesn’t get beat up in the parking lot of Dodger Stadium last week? So… in that sense it’s kind of a manufactured moment… right? just weird, but nice.

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The Omar Vizquel award goes to:

This one will reluctantly go to Madison Bumgarner. He really doesn’t deserve it. But his pickoff of Kershaw at first base was nice to see. It was sneaky and well executed. Even though Kershaw looked like he made it back to me. (again…. the fucking umps)

The Velez Award goes to:

oh my so many to choose from tonight. Where to begin. I guess this will have to go to Pat the Brick with his weighty brick glove and no-body defense in left field. You must put your body in front of the ball. He made and ass of himself out there. Also where the hell is the Rowand to back him up when the ball gets past him. uuuuugh

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The Sherlock Holmes Award (Hero) goes to:

….No…….. you know what…… I ain’t giving this award to anyone. No one deserved it today.

The Professor Moriarty Award (goat) goes to:

The Umps. They just straight up got it wrong during this game, bad strike calls, bad non-calls, bad base-path calls. Just bad game all around, I wonder if there is a rotation of umps that make sure that we get good umps once in a while or does the NL West just get a bunch of cast-off garbage?

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More Garbage.

Bumgarner’s throw was too slow over to first base and Kemp’s Steal turned into a run shortly after.

Sanchez has a rare dropped ball, of course it happens now, just like everything else.

This is all you need to know about tonight’s umps…… This was called a strike. I’m not joking…. and….

This was called a ball two batters later…… NOT JOKING.

Rod Barrajas ruined my fucking night last year. I was working at my job in Manhattan, and ran out after work to catch the last part of the Giants and Mets game. I took the 7 train all the way out to Queens to see if I could get into the stadium late. It was the 8th inning and I found a $5 ticket from a scalper. I ran in, through the oddly out of place Jackie Robinson pavilion and up the stairs. I found my girlfriend who had been there the entire game, she was standing in the walkway behind 3rd base. We watched the last three innings standing there. They went to extras and after a couple of scoreless innings Rod “mutha-fauckin” Barrajas hits a walk off home run to crush night. He did it again tonight, just not as dramatic.

I didn’t get the chance to screenshot the other two close grounders that got past Tejada, This one got past Sandoval, but I am beginning to lump them together defensively.

oooooohhh nice picture. ………. actually you know what! I am really getting sick of all the free advertising that Toyota is getting on my blog. If I had some quick way to blot that STUPID Toyota symbol out I would. Like anyone drives a Toyota. Do you know anyone with a Toyota? I don’t. I hate sponsorships.

Regardless of what the barbarians did to our man Stow in LA, I don’t like to see this kind of unity. It’s like Stephen Colbert breaking character, or Brian Wilson breaking character. It just kinda ruins stuff. Plus if it takes ruining 100+ years of good rivalry to convince San Francisco fans not to ruthlessly savage each other then I am ashamed of everyone. Affeldt and Carroll sounded like my 4th grade teacher out there before the game…… I’m not saying that their message was not correct, I’m just saying that if we need someone talk to us like grade-schoolers, as if we were watching an old PSA on tv, then we need to consider having a “common sense awareness” auction or 5k run.

Jeremy Affeldt starring as……. Your 4th grade substitute teacher. (in your best teacher voice) “ummmm guys,…. hitting each other is bad, and I don’t think you should do it anymore” …….. I mean come on, everyone knows those dudes in LA are degenerates who probably never even finished 4th grade. I just can’t believe it came to this, Affeldt telling me to be nice. uuuugh, my life is moving backwards.

oh god,….. on the flip side….. I am glad that Carroll didn’t get straight up booed. It was pretty brave of him to even get near the mic at AT&T park.

Sure Brandon is struggling. But there is something in his face when he is swinging at all those bad pitches that scares me even more. Between swings he looks contemplatively at his bat. He will furrow his brow and wipe some imaginary April sweat from it. He has the face that I had back in the 8th grade when I had just done amazingly while playing the lead role of Tom Sawyer in the first half of the play we were putting on that year. Only to realize that I had a whole other half to go and I had seriously slacked off on the memorizing part of the latter half of the play. I stumbled around some lines, made a blowfish face with my mouth, looked at the ground, looked at my frantic teacher mrs. (forgot name) who was mouthing ghost words in my direction……. Just shear panic. That’s what this face means to me.

And of course it wouldn’t be a real Giants game without a late meaningless solo home run. Thanks Pat Burrell.

Gee Shucks guys! Let’s go get’em tomorrow…….. or we can just get steamrolled like we did today, what the hell!

Don't Call Him Garbage

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 21:26:11 -0400

You can say a lot of things about Aaron Rowand, but you can’t say that he has given up. I seriously dislike the Giants association with Rowand, but I can’t fault him as a human. He just grinds……… sometimes he grinds a little too hard on sliders thrown outside and in the dirt. But the bastard just grinds. Here’s to you Rowand, keep grinding. Who knows, maybe we won’t miss Ishikawa so much, maybe Rowand becomes an amazing pinch hitter.

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The Omar Vizquel Award goes to:

Pat Burrell for closing on a well hit ball in left field and making a nice jumping play….. I know…. you don’t remember that do you, that’s cause the game lasted 9 hours!

The Velez Award goes to:

Tejada for two miscues, one is stepping on his glove the other was picking up a grounder that should have been Sanchez’s in the 9th that proved to be an infield hit.

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The Tina Turner Award (hero) goes to: Rowand for getting two big hits, when no one is really on his side (including myself)

The Ike Turner Award (goat) goes to: Brian Wilson for not throwing strikes. Sorry buddy, you wanna be a bad-ass and close games, you gotta throw strikes and shut the door. Screw the dramatic flare, close that shit down.

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Some extras.

Huff Miscue #1

Huff miscue #2

Yeah….. The Cardinals don’t really care about this. They are here to ruin our fun!

Sanchez’s breaking pitch was really working today.

Affeldt needs to open his eyes when he swings.

Tejada makes good on his first swing at AT&T.

Do we need to do more ground ball practice for pitchers? Seriously guys.

It’s conclusive evidence folks, Burrell is juicing. JK. But seriously, he is crushing balls! (haha)

Sanchez hits a double…….. that’s big Johnny Sanchez, not F. Sanchez.

This was a key play, unfortunately those bastards who were scoring the game didn’t give torres a hit OR a stolen base……. come on guys, your killing my fantasy team!!!

Sorry Affeldt, but your swing SUCKS!!! hahahaha

This is garbage!!! Lose with some dignity you batty old fart! Don’t pull 5 guys into the infield. uuuugh. I HATE Tony LaRussa! I hate him even more because it totally worked!

This is how long the game went, soo long that the announcers started talking about their meat.

More Umpire garbage, this same spot was called a ball on Wilson at least 3 times in the 9th.

mccoveycove: I hate reblogging stuff but…… this is...

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 10:08:58 -0400

mccoveycove:

I hate reblogging stuff but…… this is classy. I knew there were some classy Dodger fans out there.

Bummed-garner

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 21:40:00 -0400

How many more games will we lose like this? That is the real question. But the bigger question is, are the Giants playing with any kind of heart? Cause it doesn’t really seem like it. Are they playing with a fire on their asses? No. And for some reason, I feel like Tejada does not help…. I don’t know why I relate the signing of Tejada to a weird sense of complacency among the players during the game. He seems like a professional player. He seems like he is well respected. But to be honest I sensed an edge among the players last year. A “fuck you” attitude that they don’t seem to have now.

It’s just what I am seeing, what I’m feeling. I want the “fuck you” attitude back.

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The Omar Award goes to:

Buster Posey, followed up a strikeout with a gun to third to get the base stealer and complete a double play.

The Velez Award goes to:

Madison Bumgarner for throwing the ball behind his back in what would have ended the 3rd inning but instead gave up a run.

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The Garfield Award (Hero) goes to:

Strangely I am giving this to Mota… He came in and effectively saved our bullpen. I thought I would never ever give him any kind of award….. But here it is. Also he took an AB, which was kinda sad.

The Odie Award (Goat) goes to:

I’m going with the umpire, who consistently called a strike on the outside part of the plate for Harang but not for Bumgarner. This also could have gotten us out of the third inning.

This is the one that was called on Buster, which killed our rally.

This is the one they didn’t call for Bumgarner.

And here’s one final bad call for Buster Posey even when Hundley drops the ball he calls a ludicrous strike three.

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I took the liberty of making a schedule for the Giants tomorrow.

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Bonus Crap:

Pablo flashing some leather.

The seats I wish that I had.

J. Sanchez and Timmy were working some voodoo on their hats during today’s game.

I don’t know, but it looks like Pablo got the tag down.

Blooped to death in SD

The best part of our lineup right now.

Tejada actually got to this one. He spun and made a terrific throw to get the runner. I have to give credit where credit is deserved.

I want to see more of this from Pablo, patience at the plate!

Can’t really believe this play, Pablo walks, then he tries to steal 2nd and was out by….. 5 to 6 feet

ohhh, and Brandon Belt is not hitting that well….. just saying.

Cleaning the Desktop: Beards, Golden Puppies, and The Zito Stache

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 14:50:04 -0400

Misc news day here as the Giants gear up to take on the Father’s later today.

1. So I guess I should have been paying more attention to www.brianwilson38.com because apparently at some point in the last two days they held the first round of the beard competition and I got blown out of the water. Even though I was the FUCKING 2 SEED in the whole 16 beard braket I got taken down by one of the tourney’s ringers Zach Galifianakis. Not that it’s terrible to lose to a hilarious comedian and fellow Brooklyner. But losing is very UN-Brian Wilson. So for all those who were going to vote for me….. thanks, and sorry for failing so hard.

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Some other cleaning up to do for the site.

2. After extensive voting on the “KFMGP” Award (Kevin Frandsen Memorial Golden Puppy Award) goes to Brandon Belt, even though he does not qualify for the #1 criteria for being a recipient, which is….. “• They receive way more attention specifically from the female contingent of fans than is proportionate to how good they are.“

I hope this KFMGP Award does not bring about the swift professional demise that it did for it’s previous recipients.

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3. This shirt……. Size Small….. Under the tree next year please!!!!!It represents all that is terrible in fashion… a. Fucking huge wrap around print. b. Your wearing a huge man on your back. c. Guaranteed to be out of style before you can even hit the purchase button. d. Could only be more terrible if it had a equally terrible player on it. (Velez?) e. I fucking want this!!!!!!

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4. You know when you pass a bum on the street (I know you feel me on this one SF) and he has a pretty good sign……. Like you are almost like…. “Ya I’ll give that guy some money, cause I’ve never seen a better sign” Well…. tell me where to send money for this guy cause he has the best sign I’ve ever seen at a Giants game. (I forgot who’s tumblr I stole this from….. sorry)
Bonus points for the sweet stache.

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Speaking of sweet staches, let’s end this post on a high note. Here’s the promised gallery of Zito Staches. Enjoy
What is with this facebook photo style interview? Might as well have Zito pose in front of a mirror with a cell phone to interview him.
The death stare. (don’t fuck with my ERA suckas)
Sad Mustache

“Haaaaaayyyyyooooooo” or ”Yaaaaaaaawwwwn”

The Kid, the Sheriff and Shotgun

The hell you lookin at!

Straight classin up the joint,

And yes there will be coverage of today’s game.

Arbitrary Statistics

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 21:52:00 -0400

I have been thinking about statistics again…. It’s really something that I shouldn’t do. I’m not a statistician, I’m not even that good at math. The only A I received in my first two years of college was in Statistics. But that is not saying much.

Although I love what stats do, I cannot pretend to create a statistical category that has any kind of real factual base or value. so I will create a statistical category that mixes stats with what I do best, which is basically to take what I see and say something meaningful to me.

With all that BS said. I created a category that I call “Win/Loss Assignment”, or “Fault Assignment”. After watching the 2007-2009 seasons I started to think about the games that were lost by mere inches. The games that were lost on an Armando Benitez balk, the games lost on a ground ball bobbled by the great Ivan Ochoa, the games lost because Jose Castillo couldn’t bunt to save his life. I always finished the game thinking, if we lose the division by 1 game I will remember this game. Also I always have hunches as to who is the least valuable player on the team, but I never bothered to tally up who I thought it was.

So for this exercise in madness I will attempt to:

* Place blame (a point) on one player if we lose a close game (Example: Tejada’s wide throw on the first leg of the double play on opening day).

* Assign a point to a player who obviously wins a close game for us (example: Burrell’s HR off Broxton last year).

* I will stick it to the umpire if it’s his fault (example: last year, vs. Mets, the tag at home that wasn’t).

* If it’s a blowout then I’m just gonna mark it as a blow out. If it’s no ones fault, and it’s just a normal game, then that’s how I’m marking it.

Without further ado…. here’s what it looks like so far.

I’ve marked down Tejada for the game 1 loss. I put J. Sanchez down for game 2 for the botched bouncing ball. Game three was a blowout although I would love to give someone credit. But let’s be real, you gotta win the close ones like we did last year.

If anyone has suggestions on this, let me know.

To Live and Die in LA

Sat, 02 Apr 2011 01:08:00 -0400

Look how empty that stadium is…….

It’s hard enough to lose a game 4 to 3 when you straight up get beat. It’s even harder when you beat yourself. Tonight and last night we fucking beat ourselves. Tejada doesn’t turn well on the first leg of a double play…. we lose. Today… Sanchez drops a dribbler…… we lose. When you have 5 errors in your first two games, then you are beating yourself on defense. The fact that no one is getting clutch hits does not help.

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The Omar Vizquel Award goes to :

Tejada for laying down the most perfect bunt I’ve seen in a while.

The Velez Award goes to:

Sanchez, when you take your goddam eyes off the ball you fucking lose the fucking game…… get your shit together John.

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The Chris Knight Award (hero) goes to:

Brandon Belt. nuff said.

The Prof. Jerry Hathaway Award (goat) goes to:

John Sanchez, it’s hard to get both the Velez and the Goat award for the night, but Sanchez truly cost the Giants the game. a botched bouncer, and a leadoff walk to the pitcher is the diference between a win and a loss.

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F. Sanchez with the first bumble of the night.

Space cadet Zito tries to keep his neck still so he doesn’t get sore.

Blooped to death in LA.

Haaaaaaaaaai guys! …….. Haaaaaaaaiii Burrell!

A lead off walk to the pitcher. Hello 2008 John Sanchez.

The perfect bunt.

An errant throw by Pablo = error #5 of the season.

Belt is happy.

The title of this blog is a grandaddy song. It’s a good song, pretty much sums up how I feel about SoCal.

Opening Day Call To Arms

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 14:56:00 -0400

My good friend…. who just happens to be a rabid Dodger fan sent me this today.

Very nice…. very nice…

The thing about rivalries is this:

If the Los Angeles Dodgers didn’t exist…… I would be kind of sad. This great rivalry does not happen without two teams.

I remember the year that I met said friend (let’s call him….. George Donkov) we were going to school together in the south of France. He was the only other guy in the south of France who liked baseball. When you are in hostil territory (france) you don’t make a big fuss about baseball loyalties. We became good friends and we went on to win some money that year with a joint fantasy baseball team. I think the team name was “California Unity”…. haha.

Anyway we both took to cheering for Marseille football (soccer) team. Their greatest rival was Paris who was stinking it up about as bad as you can stink it up. They where at the bottom of the standings and had a good chance of being relegated* (check footnote) to League 2. What surprised me the most is how distraught the people of Marseille were. They were seriously pissed at the thought of playing the whole next season with no Paris in League 1. At the end of the year they were outright cheering for their rivals to win so that the rivalry would continue. Now to really understand this you have to realize that in soccer, fans straight up want to kill each other. Once, while standing out front of the official fan’s bar, we had glass bottles thrown at us by passing busloads of Paris fans. This is like two hours before the game started. These two fan bases hated each other sooooooo much. Yet the thought of watching a whole season without the grude matches was unbearable to Marseille fans.

So in with that in mind…. Thank you LA for being such a perfectly evil team (and place)…. oh and I hope you rot and come in last place this year.

* If you get relegated in football (soccer) it’s comparable to having your team play in the minors for the entirety of the following season. Each season, the three teams on the bottom of the standings go to League 2 (minor leagues) and the top three teams in the standings on League 2 move up to League 1 (major leagues). Which if that was the case in Major League Basebal, the Pirates, Royals and Orioles would have been in Single A for years now.

NOT a season preview

Wed, 30 Mar 2011 15:30:59 -0400

Nothing like a Will Clark Mustache to start the year off right.

This year, instead of trying to make predictions, I will just tell you what I would like to see happen.

Players that I am unabashedly rooting for.

#1. Snap, Crackle and Pop

Otherwise know as the 5’10 (and under) crew.

Freddy Sanchez (“snap”… as in snap goes his fragile limbs…).

Andres Torres (“Crackle”….not sure why yet)

Mike Fontenot (“pop”…. because for he can hit monster home runs).

They’re all “little” men, who in my opinion will have a huge say in the Giants ability to repeat. A full year of Freddy Sanchez’s defense would almost make up for the “36” year old glove playing SS. Andres Torres will again be the spark plug… (ohh ya spark plugs go “crackle” right?) for the offense. And most of all Fontenot will provide a surprising amount of pop off the bench this year, and will be an upgrade on defense when Tejada eventually goes down.

#2. Big John

This is of course taking Matt and Tim for granted. I want Jonathan Sanchez to DESTROY EVERYTHING! Like scorched earth destroy. Big Johnny Hammersticks walking through a ghost town with guns blazing……….. I don’t know what the hell I’m saying. I just want Big John to do well this year……. He’s just such a tragic character. His emotions are a little out of check, he runs his mouth a bit, he is that little brother you had, who would follow around everywhere tapping you on the shoulder, getting angry when you wouldn’t look, and when you finally paid attention to him, he was asleep face down in the middle of your carpeted living room. But he’s also that little brother that you rooted for, and rooted for, then one day he just stopped crying about shit and was WAY better than you at everything. Come one Big John, let’s do this.

#3. Sergio Romo

I can’t tell you why, I can only tell you that I have had a bad feeling about Sergio Romo for a loooong time. I have been worried about him since June 26, 2008. He was making his debut in Cleveland. His family (Dodger fans) where there to cheer him on. He struck two batters out with that wicked frisbee slider of his. Of course we have to frame this with….. It’s 2008, Giants fans have endured a bullpen consisting of Brad Hennessy, Vinnie Chulk, Osiris Matos, Erick Threets, Tyler Walker, and especially Geno Espineli. So the sight of ANOTHER light tossing trickster was an unwelcome one for me. But somehow……. unlike everyone else on that list, in fact unlike all 20 pitchers except Tim, Matt, Wilson, John and Zito, he made it. Sergio wandered through the desert, ran the marathon, swam to shore from the sunken ship that was the 2008 Giants and planted his flag in the bullpen. But for some reason I still worry about him. He seems like a guy who I’d like to get some burritos and watch a bad movie with. And for the record….. Sergio’s beard looks better.

5 Transactions I want to see. (but won’t happen)

1. Mota (never to be trusted ex-dodger) to the minors, Steve Edlefson (ground ball machine and apparently straight-up brawler) up to the bullpen.

2. Belt to the minors until he has no chance of leaving the Giants until 2018

3. Rowand to the minors, Darren Ford to the Majors to pinch run.

4. Ramon Ramirez to the minors, Kroon to the majors…. This one is just for my own entertainment. I just want to see Kroon throw in the bigs again.

5. Fontenot replaces Tejada at Shortstop. Ya… I’m calling it right here right now. Tejada is gonna bomb this year. (I hope I am wrong)

The New Velez (Feliz).

The candidates for Goat of the Year are….. Miguel Tejada, Barry Zito, Aaron Rowand, Cody Ross. (What!…. don’t get mad at me, I’m just naming off the players that are most likely to underperform this year. I like Ross….. I do)

The premature trophy goes to Aaron Rowand. In the proud tradition of Pedro Feliz, Armando Benitez and Eugenio Velez, Aaron Rowand will fail beyond our wildest imaginations. He will shoulder the burden, he will carry the yoke of all the Giants fan’s bitterest slander. He is the black hole of criticism his oversized head and funny stance will consume the worst vitriol that spews forth into all comment boxes of all the blogs. For that I thank him…. Thanks Rowand for being the team punching bag, we’ve needed one every year for a while now, cause let’s face it…. we are all kinda full of hate.

What we will see this year.

1. More fanboys at the ballpark (bleh)

2. More fangirls at the park (double bleh)

3. More of this tragedy. “Hey I’m Amy G. “Stuff… Stuff, Stuff, Stuff Stuff, Bleh and Stuff.”“

4. More of whatever the guy in the hat and the guy in the front of the picture with hair cancer.

5. More espn/old-man-timmy-hair-wearing douchebags

Basically, just be ready for more of everything. More people rubbing their legs up against your favorite team. We own the most popular poodle in the neighborhood and every broadcaster/columnist/fair-weather fan/blogger (yes I know..) wants to fuck it. Our asses will be sniffed all year, like a rotting bloated deer corpse on a sunny central valley freeway. Our fun ballpark traditions, cheers, culture will be co-opted by the giants douche conveyor belt that is sports media. Your twitter account will constantly scroll beard related re-tweets and lincecum pot smoking puns.

Constant vigilance my friends