Ginger Harrington

Trusting God Through Doubt: The Story Behind Kelsey Chadwick’s Where Else Could I Go?

Ginger Harrington — Mon, 08 Jun 2026 23:46:37 +0000

Kelsey Chadwick wrote her entire book about trusting God through doubt in five days. It was at the publisher when she died. Her mother, Lesa Watson, shares the story behind Where Else Could I Go? — and the hope that is still speaking.

Kelsey Chadwick did. She was a follower of Jesus, a lover of his Word, a wife and mother and writer and researcher — a woman who had walked with God her entire life. And then came a year of medical uncertainty, a cancer diagnosis with no clear treatment, and nine months of waiting that brought her face to face with doubt she hadn’t expected.

She didn’t run from it. She wrestled with her faith by bringing her questions to the source of her hope.

What came out of that year was a book: Where Else Could I Go? Embracing God When You’re Doubting Everything. Kelsey wrote the entire manuscript in five days during a surprise anniversary retreat her husband arranged so she could have uninterrupted space to write. It was at the publisher when she passed away unexpectedly in August, at thirty-five years old.

Her mother, Lesa Watson, joined us on the Habits of Hope podcast for her very first interview to share Kelsey’s story, her own journey through grief, and the hope that has held their entire family since.

This post is an invitation to meet both of them.

The Story Behind the Book

Kelsey first noticed something was wrong during a family vacation in Florida. She was putting on lotion after a day in the sun when she felt a growth on her neck. She knew immediately that something wasn’t right, but she said nothing. She kept it to herself for the rest of that week to protect the time her family had together.

What followed was nine months of indeterminate biopsies, specialist visits at the University of Kentucky Research Center, and a waiting game that offered no clear answers. Eventually her thyroid was removed. That’s when testing revealed what the biopsies couldn’t: a rare, essentially untreatable form of cancer. Even after the surgery there were still questions, more testing, more uncertainty.

That journey of trusting God with her doubt started nine months before Kelsey’s passing and was still ongoing when she died from a completely separate cause. She died suddenly of an abdominal aortic aneurysm, while presenting at a work conference far from home.

Her last recorded words, spoken to the medical team around her before she lost consciousness for the final time: “Jesus loves you too.”

She had already told them, when she first came to, that Jesus loved her. Her last words were a gift to the strangers in the room.

The book she left behind carries that same spirit.

How Doubt Became a Doorway to Deeper Faith

Lesa described her daughter as someone who had always been a student of the Word, a researcher and thinker who, when the questions came, went straight to the source.

“She found her answers, her strength, her trust,” Lesa said. “Her beliefs were even strengthened more through that journey of doubt.”

She returned again and again to John 15:5, the simple grounding truth that apart from Christ, we can do nothing. Not as a rebuke, but as a relief. She couldn’t understand God’s purposes. She couldn’t manufacture peace. But she could know that she was not meant to do any of it alone.

Her husband, sensing she needed time and space to write without distraction, arranged a five-day anniversary retreat. He packed her bags, booked a hotel suite with a dedicated writing area, and told her almost nothing until they were leaving. In those five days, the entire book poured out of her.

After she passed, her husband found something else on her phone: voice memos. Audio recordings of Kelsey talking through her emotions, describing what God was showing her in scripture, working out her faith out loud in real time. Those recordings were never meant to be heard by anyone else. They are, as Lesa said, such a gift and a blessing — her daughter’s voice, still speaking.

The Hope She Left Behind

Lesa shared that Where Else Could I Go? is a handbook for Christian living, not just a book about doubt but a guide for anyone trying to hold on to faith when the answers won’t come easily.

In reading the book, what strikes me most is Kelsey’s voice. It is honest without being raw, tender without being fragile. She writes the way someone writes when they have genuinely worked something out, not performed peace, but found it, imperfectly, on the way. The prose is clear and the faith is real, and you feel both of those things from the first page.

Here is some of what you’ll find inside:

“Don’t give up. Don’t stop seeking. Don’t quit asking. God wants to answer your questions in his way and in his time. But the first step is to agree with him that he is God and we are not.” — Page 34

“Rest assured, God knows your doubts. You don’t have to ignore them, set them aside, or pretend they don’t exist. But you do have to bring them to the only one who truly has the answers if you want to have lasting peace. The act of simply giving your questions over to the Lord says to him, ‘I trust you over what I can feel or experience on my own,’ and that is faith he can work with. That is where the road home begins.” — Page 50

“Christ is the author and finisher of a faith that hinged on his own crucifixion to bring about a better plan for you and for me. He knows all about creating beauty from ashes, transforming unimaginable suffering into eternal redemption. Settle on the fact that he alone, both completely devoted to our welfare and totally in control of our circumstances, is the answer to every question that feels so unfair.” — Page 82

“You cannot defeat doubt without the Word. God has given us the gift of himself within the pages of this book. It’s alive. It changes us. We cannot leave it closed and claim he is not speaking.” — Page 94

“We must make every effort to cling to what we believe, even when the flesh begs us to do otherwise. How will we know which way to go? How will we be sure what to believe? Only by remaining connected to the Spirit, who can bring clarity to each and every question in our hearts if we earnestly seek him.” — Page 108

“Like Peter, we ask, ‘Where else could I go?’ If you have truly experienced the Messiah, you know there is only one answer. Like the disciples then, we are disciples now, and we know who has the words of eternal life. We can embrace God even when we are doubting everything. We can trust him to always lead us back home.” — Page 172

How a Mother Holds Grief and Hope at the Same Time

Grief is not a problem Lesa has solved. She was clear about that.

“I live every day with the loss of her,” she said. “Which is very difficult.”

But she also carries something that shapes the way she grieves. Her husband leads an Experiencing God Bible study at their church, and one of its central premises has become a cornerstone for their family: the kingdom of God is eternal, and it begins not at death but the moment you say yes to Christ.

“We grieve,” Lesa said, “as the Bible says, with a hope that the world doesn’t understand.”

She has also leaned on something she built long before the hard days arrived: years of studying the character of God. In the early days of grief, sometimes she would open her Bible and the words just wouldn’t sink in. But she knew who God was. She knew he was faithful, sovereign, holy, good, merciful, full of grace, full of justice. That knowledge held her when specific verses couldn’t reach her.

Romans 8:28 and Psalm 31:14 are verses that deeply comfort Lesa. “My times are in your hands,” and other verses are written out and posted in her home where she will see them in the ordinary moments of every day.

She wants the same for anyone reading this: not a formula, but a foundation. Not easy answers, but a God who is genuinely trustworthy and the deep-rooted knowledge of who he is before the hard season arrives.

A Habit of Hope to Carry This Week

One of the most practical things Lesa shared was her practice of studying the character of God, something she developed long before losing Kelsey and held on to after.

Not a verse to memorize under pressure. Not a prayer in crisis. Just a steady, ordinary habit of returning to who he is.

This week’s Habit of Hope: Spend five minutes writing down three attributes of God’s character. Not a prayer request, not a passage you’re trying to remember, just who he is. Put it somewhere you’ll see it. Let the knowledge of his character be what holds you before the hard day arrives.

Kelsey Wrote This for You

Kelsey wrote this book in the middle of her own unanswered questions. She didn’t wait until she had it all figured out. She brought what she had, her doubt, her faith, her Word, her pen, and she wrote toward the light.

The result is a book that will meet you honestly wherever you are.

Where Else Could I Go? Embracing God When You’re Doubting Everything is available wherever books are sold. [Link to purchase.]

If this story moved you, share it with someone who is carrying quiet questions of their own.

A woman who spent her last year wrestling with doubt used her last breath to tell strangers that Jesus loved them. That is not the faith of someone who lost. That is the faith of someone who had questions and found exactly what she was looking for. She left the map behind for the rest of us.

Her name was Kelsey.

And her hope is still speaking.

Listen to or watch the full conversation with Lesa Watson on the Habits of Hope podcast, Episode 80.

A Summer Announcement

As I listened to Kelsey’s story, I was reminded once again that life is rarely simple. In a single season, we may find ourselves carrying grief and gratitude, sorrow and joy, loss and blessing.

One of the gifts of faith is learning to trust God with all of it—the hard places and the beautiful ones, the prayers we still carry and the blessings we hold in our hands today.

With that in mind, I wanted to share a brief personal update.

Habits of Hope will be taking a short summer break.

We’ve already welcomed one precious grandbaby into our family this week, and another is expected soon. I’ll be spending the next several weeks supporting my daughters and soaking up this special season as Gigi.

Thank you for being part of the Habits of Hope community. While we’re away, I hope you’ll explore the podcast archive, revisit a favorite episode, or catch up on one you’ve missed. At the end of this post you’ll find related content and a list of favorite content from my archives to enjoy.

I’ll stay in touch through email from time to time and look forward to reconnecting with you later this summer.

Until then, may God renew your strength and fill your heart with hope.

Reader/Listener Favorites

How to Wait on the Lord and Receive New Strength — Even When Hope Feels Gone

Ginger Harrington — Mon, 25 May 2026 21:32:06 +0000

Feeling weary and wondering where strength comes from? Discover what Isaiah 40:29–31 really means and how to wait on the Lord to receive new strength.

Have you ever found yourself in a moment where you don’t have the strength you need?

Not the kind you can push through with determination or fix with a better plan. But the kind where your soul feels tired. Grief lingers, disappoint hangs heavy, or exhaustion stops you in your tracks.

When the next step feels harder than it should, one question rises. Where does strength come from when mine is gone?

That’s not a small question. And it deserves more than a small answer.

God’s Promise Was Written for Weary People

Isaiah 40 was written to people who had been through years of hardship, uncertainty, and long seasons of waiting. God didn’t offer a checklist or a correction. He offered a promise:

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” — Isaiah 40:29–31

Notice who this promise is for. Not the strong. Not the self-sufficient. Not the ones who have already figured it out. It’s for the ones who know they don’t have what it takes. The ones who are struggling.

Which means this promise isn’t for when you have it all together.

It’s for exactly the moments when you don’t.

What Does It Really Mean to Wait on the Lord?

This is where everything in the passage turns and where we often get it wrong.

Waiting doesn’t mean doing nothing. In the original Hebrew, the word for wait carries the meaning to hope, to expect, to look for, to eagerly anticipate — even to bind yourself to something.

We’re all waiting for something. We wait for answers, healing, direction, relief, restoration. The question isn’t, are you waiting? The real question is what are you attaching your hope to while you wait?

Waiting whispers, I don’t have the answer.

Hope declares, but I trust the One who does.

Waiting complains, this is taking longer than I want.

Hope remembers, God is still at work in ways I can’t see.

Waiting groans, I’m too weak for this.

Hope believes, God promises strength to the weak.

When we separate waiting from hope, waiting feels empty.

We don’t like being in the waiting rooms of life. We want progress now and yesterday would be even better. When waiting is rooted in hope, it becomes a place of expectation.

Jackie Banas-Shank called hope the habit of permanent expectancy. This reminds me to trust God, rather than trying to fix and solve my way through challenges.

When we wait with this kind of hope, we’re not asking if God will answer. We’re asking when.

This is a very different kind of waiting.

Strength Is Renewed, Not Manufactured

Our culture convinces us we should be able to make ourselves strong.

We know how physical strength works — you put in the reps, you train the muscle, you build capacity over time. But Isaiah isn’t talking about that kind of strength.

The word renew here carries the idea of putting on fresh strength again and again. It is not about pulling yourself up by the bootstraps but receiving something new from God.

Fresh strength. Strength that doesn’t originate in you but is a provision of God.

Larissa came to this conversation carrying fresh grief. Just days earlier she had said goodbye to her faithful dog — the companion who had been with her through her hardest seasons, including the years since losing her husband.

And what she said hit home: “Not every season is soaring. Sometimes strength looks like running forward with endurance. And sometimes strength simply looks like walking one step at a time and not giving up. That’s kind of where I’m at.”

Not every season is an eagle moment of soaring.

Sometimes faithfulness looks like walking and not giving up. And that, Isaiah says, is what renewed strength looks like too. God meets us in the walking and in the soaring.

Why We Miss the Strength God Is Offering

If God promises strength to those who wait on Him, why do we so often still feel depleted?

It’s not because He is withholding or reneging on His promise. More often, it’s we’ve turned our attention to other things. Here are the places I see this happen — and I recognize every single one of them in my own life.

We rush ahead instead of wait. We want relief now, clarity before the next step. Instead of waiting on God, we move ahead of Him fixing, figuring out, forcing what only He can provide. Before long we’re exhausted. Not because we’ve done too little, but because we’ve been carrying what was never ours to carry.
We strive instead of trust. This one is subtle. Striving can look like planning, preparing, staying ahead of every possible problem. The anxious heart tries to live in tomorrow instead of today. We want a plan for every outcome, to think of everything that could go wrong. This is a form of striving that drains us. Then we wonder why we’re so tired when we’ve been working so hard.
We disconnect instead of draw near. When we’re tired, grieving, or discouraged, the natural impulse isn’t always to move toward God. Sometimes we withdraw. We numb out. We binge something. We distract ourselves until the feeling passes. Intimacy with God comes when we bring it all to Him, not when we bring our best self to Him. He can handle the whole mess of us.
We resist surrender. Waiting on God requires letting go of our timelines, our expectations, our it must be this way thoughts. It means releasing our need to understand, as well as our desire to control the outcome.
We lose sight of hope while we wait. We’re still waiting, but we’ve stopped hoping. Nothing is ever going to change. This will always feel this way. God must not be working. Our waiting becomes empty rather than expectant. And an empty wait is exhausting in a way that an expectant wait never is.

The problem isn’t that God isn’t giving strength. It’s that we’re often looking somewhere else for it. We think things like, if I just try harder, if I stay strong, if I hold it all together, I’ll get through.

But scripture is clear here. God gives strength to the weak. If we’re determined to be self-sufficient, we might just miss the strength that he is offering. But the moment we turn back to Him; we begin to receive what He’s been offering all along.

How to Receive God’s Strength

Picture this. Your hands are full. Someone offers you a gift. You can’t receive it. Not easily. Not without setting something down first.

But if you set it down and open your hands — then you’re ready. Your hands are empty, open, and ready to receive what’s being offered.

Waiting on God often looks like that. Setting something down. Opening your hands. Releasing the has to be this way so your hands are free to receive what He’s giving.

So much of what we pray about, the Lord does answer. But sometimes He waits on us to loosen our grip first.

Open hands receive what clenched fists cannot.

What Waiting on the Lord Actually Looks Like in Real Life

Waiting on the Lord isn’t one single action. It’s a posture, a mindset, a way of thinking and believing and trusting that we return. Here are some of the shapes it takes in real life. As you read, notice which one meets you where you are today.

Waiting can look like prayer. Sometimes a full sentence, sometimes a whisper, sometimes just a groan your soul offers when words won’t come. God, I need Your strength. I need what only You can provide. Waiting begins when we turn toward Him.

Waiting can look like a posture. Bowing your head. Sitting still for a moment. Opening your hands. These small physical and spiritual postures help refocus our attention on God.

Waiting can look like letting go. Releasing an expectation. Setting down a timeline. Choosing to trust Him with the outcome instead of carrying it yourself. Releasing the need to have everything figured out, gives God the space to work in ways you can’t yet see. This is where waiting is hardest — and where it does its deepest work.

Waiting can look like simple willingness. Waiting can look like simple willingness. Not dramatic. Not heroic. Just a quiet yes. Yes, to waiting longer than feels fair. Yes, to a different answer than you hoped for. Yes, to something new. Yes, to trusting God even when you don’t understand. Sometimes that simple willingness is the most faithful thing we can offer.

Waiting can look like activity. Showing up. Staying faithful. Doing the next right thing, and then the next. Active waiting is still waiting. The everyday faithfulness of small things — that’s not the absence of strength. That’s strength at work.

None of these require that you feel strong first. They simply position your heart to receive strength from the Lord. And that is exactly what makes this a habit of hope.

This Week’s Habit of Hope

Choose one simple way to turn toward God today and trust Him to renew your strength, one step at a time.

It might be a quiet prayer when you feel overwhelmed. A moment of stillness before you reach for your phone. Releasing one expectation you’ve been holding too tightly. Choosing to trust God with something you don’t understand. Simply doing the next right thing in front of you.

Not all six. Just one. And then tomorrow, one more.

For the Weary and the Waiting

Friend, if you are in a season where your strength feels low and your hope feels thin, I want you to hear this.

God is not asking you to be strong enough for what you’re facing. He is asking something simpler. And harder. Trust Him to give what you need.

Not strength for the whole road, but strength for the next step.

Whether you’re soaring right now, running hard, or just barely walking — you are not alone. God is with you, and He is your strength.

Stay close to the One who gives strength to the weary. Return to Him again and again — in the soaring seasons and the walking ones, in the wrestling and the waiting. One small step, one quiet decision of faith at a time. Because hope is always our best habit.

FAQ About How to Wait on the Lord

What does it mean to wait on the Lord? Waiting on the Lord is not passive delay. In the original Hebrew, the word for wait carries the meaning to hope, to expect, to eagerly anticipate, even to bind yourself to something. It is active, anchored hope — choosing to trust God’s faithfulness while you are still in the middle of not knowing.

What does Isaiah 40:29-31 mean? Isaiah 40:29-31 is a promise written to weary people — not the strong or self-sufficient, but those who know they don’t have what it takes. The progression in the passage — soar, run, walk — reminds us that renewed strength doesn’t always look like an eagle moment. Sometimes it looks like walking one faithful step at a time. God meets us there too.

How do I find strength in God when I feel weak? Start by turning toward God rather than away from Him. Waiting can look like prayer, letting go of what you’re gripping too tightly, simple willingness, or doing the next right thing in front of you. None of these require that you feel strong first. They simply position your heart to receive what God has already promised to give.

What is the difference between waiting and hoping in the Bible? In Hebrew, the words are deeply connected. Waiting without hope feels empty and frustrating. But waiting rooted in hope becomes a posture of expectation — we stop asking if God will show up and start trusting when. Hope is what transforms waiting from something we endure into the place where strength begins to grow.

This post is based on Episode 79 of the Habits of Hope Podcast. Listen to the full conversation with Ginger Harrington and Larissa Traquair — including Larissa’s moving reflection on grief, loss, and what it looks like to wait on God in real time.

Author Bio

Ginger Harrington is the host of the Habits of Hope Podcast and author of Holy in the Moment. Through biblical encouragement and practical spiritual rhythms, she helps women cultivate deeper faith and resilient hope for everyday life

Hope Beneath the Rubble: Finding Healing After Trauma with Jenn Hand

Ginger Harrington — Mon, 18 May 2026 20:39:41 +0000

Trauma counselor Jennifer Hand shares how to find hope and Christian healing after trauma with practical faith-rooted tools for survival mode, caregivers, and the weary.

Delightfully joyful, Jennifer Hand loves coffee, play, and all things fun. She is the last person you might expect to find weeping in an earthquake zone. And yet.

She was on her knees in a village that no longer looked like a village.

Jenn had lived there before — had walked the streets in Nepal. She knew these people. Now there was only rubble where homes had stood.

A crowd of hurting people gathered, desperate for hope. Undone by what she saw, she knelt in the wreckage of what had been a church, weeping: Lord, where is the hope here?

And then she saw it.

Bent. Broken. Half-buried.

A cross from the top of that church, lying among the debris.

The Lord’s answer came quietly but with clarity that gave strength: There is always hope beneath any rubble — and that hope is the cross.

That moment in Nepal didn’t just shape a book title that Jenn would later write. It birthed a mission, a message, and a way of walking with people in their worst moments. God has sent Jennifer Hand to 58 countries and disaster zones around the world.

Jenn opened and closed our conversation with Psalm 139: I am fearfully and wonderfully made. It’s the scripture she returns to again and again, the reminder that God has numbered our days, knows us entirely, and has not been surprised by a single thing we have walked through.

The hope in this truth keeps her grounded.

When You Need Christian Healing After Trauma

Most of us will never stand in the literal rubble of an earthquake. But many of us have stood in something that changes our world — a diagnosis, a betrayal, a sudden loss, a season that rearranged everything we thought was solid.

Jennifer has spent years walking into holy grounds of suffering, as she calls them. She went to Nepal as a missionary, felt God calling her unexpectedly into a master’s degree in counseling, and then watched as a massive earthquake struck the country she loved. She spoke Nepalese. She went to help.

“When you’re in trauma,” she told us, “you feel alone. You feel isolated. You feel like you’re asking, will I ever be normal again?”

That question — will I ever be normal again? — is the one she hears most consistently, whether she’s sitting with a survivor in a third-world disaster zone or talking with a woman in a comfortable American church who has never told anyone how stuck she actually feels.

The geography and the situation may change, but the question doesn’t.

Why Can’t I Just Move On? Hope After Trauma

If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t simply release trauma and get back to normal, you will be encouraged by this conversation.

When your body still braces, still reacts, still carries what your mind has tried to let go, it’s important to understand that your body isn’t broken. It’s doing exactly what God designed it to do.

Jennifer explains that trauma doesn’t just affect your thoughts. It takes up residence in your body. When we sense danger of any kind — physical, emotional, or relational — our nervous system shifts from what she calls the thinking brain into pure survival mode.

The body does what it needs to do to survive. And it does that through one of four automatic responses: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

Here’s the plain-language version:

fight means you move toward the threat aggressively
flight means you run from it
freeze means you go completely still, unable to move
fawn means you appease, people-please, or accommodate whoever feels threatening in order to stay safe

Four very different responses, all wired into us for survival. What we don’t always realize is how physiologically real these responses are. They can quietly run our lives long after the original threat has passed.

Jennifer describes it this way: imagine the pickup line at an elementary school. It is chaotic with every car for itself. A traffic cop stands in the middle trying to direct the flow. When trauma hits, your brain’s internal traffic cop goes into override. Your thinking brain steps back and the survival brain floods your body with one signal: survive, survive, survive. Your heart races if you’re a fighter. You go completely still if you’re a freezer. You feel, as Jenn puts it, like your legs are blocks of cement.

“Those are supposed to be our survival moments,” she said, “but not our thrive-in-life-all-the-time moments.”

Jenn reminded us that the number one thing a person needs reestablished after trauma is a sense of safety. Whether it’s physical safety, emotional safety, or relational safety, the ground beneath you has shifted, and nothing feels steady.

Scripture speaks directly into this need. Psalm 121 — from where does my help come? — and Psalm 91 — under the shadow of His wings, I can rest — are passages she returns to again and again.

“The reminder that we can rest under the shadow of the Almighty wings, His power, His protection,” she said, “I often have to go back to that again and again.”

The problem comes when the response gets stuck. When you’re still living in fight mode years after the original danger has passed. When a small thing triggers a large reaction and you don’t know why. When you’ve told yourself that’s just how I am for so long that you’ve stopped asking whether it has to be.

Jennifer encourages people to start noticing when a small thing creates a big response. “Pay attention to that,” she said. “It usually means you’ve been triggered, and you’ve gone into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.” She knows this pattern intimately. She’s a freezer herself — calm and capable in a crisis, and only later, once things settle, does she feel the weight of what she just walked through.

I recognized this in my own story. Many of us have learned to ignore our triggers and keep marching forward. We often believe “that’s just how I am” and keep going. It gets us through life. But it doesn’t make us healthy emotionally, spiritually, or relationally.

Why trauma gets stuck — and what to do about it: Trauma triggers automatic survival responses in the nervous system — fight, flight, freeze, or fawn — that are meant to protect us in dangerous moments, not define us permanently. When those responses get stuck, the body keeps living in survival mode long after the original threat has passed. Recognizing this pattern, without shame, is where healing begins.

Hope Is a Process, Not a Destination

Here is where Jennifer Hand gently disrupts the way most of us think about hope.

We want hope to be a switch we can flip and have it stay on. We want the stages of grief and healing to be linear. We prefer to check the boxes, to be done.

Wouldn’t that be something, Jennifer said, laughing quietly. “Linear. That’s hard to even say.”

“Hope is a process,” she told Larissa. “Just like grief.”

Sometimes the hope you have for today is something basic and small like taking the next breath. Even when that is the bit of hope available in this moment, it counts.

This matters enormously if you have gone through a season of trauma and felt the absence of hope like a physical weight.

Just because hope feels gone doesn’t mean it is gone.

It means it’s buried. Uncovering even the tiniest fragment — is where healing begins.

Larissa knew this firsthand. She has spent time in therapy following her husband’s death. Grief opened layers of trauma she hadn’t known were there. “It’s been painful,” she said quietly, “but also so healing.” This isn’t theoretical for anyone in the room.

https://youtu.be/lDd2-Xj2tZc

When You’re Triggered: Practical Tools That Actually Help

Most of us don’t need more information about trauma. What we need is something we can actually do in the middle of a hard moment to heal and restore faith after trauma. We need something accessible, something free, something that works even when we have nothing left.

This is why Jennifer Hand wrote Hope Beneath the Rubble.

She has sat with people who have no access to therapy, no money for resources, no time for complicated routines. Here are some of what she shared with our listeners — things you can use today, right now, wherever you are:

1. Ground yourself in the present. When a trauma response is triggered, your brain gets pulled out of the present moment. One of the most effective ways to bring it back is through your senses. Jennifer walks through what she calls the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste. The practice is simpler than it sounds — you pause, look around, and notice and name each one. The act of naming pulls your brain back to the present moment and begins to lower the flood of stress hormones.

2. Breathe. It is free and you can do it anywhere. Square breathing signals to your nervous system that you are safe. Simply inhale for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four. “It gets you out of fight-flight mode,” Jennifer said, “where you’re really not using your thinking brain.”

3. Move your body. Walking, specifically, does something powerful for a traumatized nervous system because of what Jennifer calls bilateral movement. The movement of left-right, left-right helps trauma stop getting stuck in the body. She explained, “Trauma often gets stuck in your body, and movement is one of the ways out.”

4. Taste something strong. Jennifer mentioned eating sour candy as a grounding technique, and Larissa claimed it immediately as her personal favorite. The strong sensation pulls you into the present moment when a flashback or triggered response has pulled you out of it. The physical sensation interrupts the loop.

5. Ask yourself what makes you come alive. This one Jennifer said isn’t even in the book. She offered it as a gift to our listeners specifically. In her counseling practice, before she ever asks a client about their trauma, she starts with this question. When someone is so exhausted that even breathing feels like too big a step, what they need isn’t a task. They need a spark.

“Life is here,” she said simply. “And that spark — whatever it is, even buying a new coffee mug — will begin to give you that.”

Can Scripture Hurt as Well as Heal?

Before we leave the practical tools, there’s something Jenn said that I don’t want to rush past. She is careful about how scripture is used with people in acute suffering. She said something I think many of us in the church need to hear.

She told a story about being in Nepal, riding on the back of a motorcycle. When a wreck left her with a gaping wound on her knee, her instinct was to put a bandaid on it. She didn’t want to bear the pain of cleaning the wound.

The wound, in her telling, is the unprocessed pain of grief, fear, anger, and confusion that trauma brings. The bandaid is the scripture quoted too quickly, before the person has been given space to acknowledge what they’re actually carrying. “And sometimes we can do that with scripture,” she said. “We don’t want to acknowledge and wrestle with the depths of what’s underneath — so we just quote Romans 8:28 and move on.”

Romans 8:28 — He will work all things together for good — is truth. She was clear about that. But it can also feel like “a weapon” for someone who doesn’t feel that yet. Someone in the middle of the wreckage doesn’t always need the promise of future good.

They need to know they’re not alone right now.

Instead, Jennifer shares another part of Romans 8: Nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Not life, not death, not the present, not things to come. Nothing. “That is a key reminder,” she said, “that nothing will separate you from His love. Not your trauma. Not your survival mode. Not the feelings you’re afraid to name.”

She continued the illustration, “The streets of Nepal are dirty. If I hadn’t cleaned that wound out, infection would have come — and eventually it would have shown itself.”

Unprocessed trauma works the same way. The goal is never to avoid the hard thing. The goal is to clean the wound well enough that healing can actually happen.

How to use scripture with someone in trauma: Not every scripture fits every moment. Rushing to Romans 8:28 — He will work all things together for good — before someone has had space to grieve can feel dismissive rather than comforting. Jennifer Hand suggests reaching first for the scriptures that offer presence rather than resolution: Nothing can separate you from the love of God.

Does Caregiving Count as Trauma?

If you are caring for someone right now — or if you have, and you’re still carrying the weight of it — this is the section I most want you to read. Not because caregiving is the same as surviving an earthquake. But because Jennifer Hand says it can be just as traumatic.

I know this firsthand. I cared for my sister through her battle with ALS. I have dear friends in caretaking situations right now — including the particularly hard ones. Sometimes the person being cared for is not easy, not appreciative, not kind. That layer of hard deserves its own conversation.

Jennifer answered from the inside that experience. She walked through a caregiving season recently that was, in her words, horrific. She carries it. She also carries the faces of everyone she’s ever served in that role, and she wanted to speak directly to them.

She talked about Hagar (Genesis 16 and 21). The story of how God responded to a woman cast into the wilderness, alone, trying to care for a child with no idea what to do next. “God shows up as the God who sees,” Jenn said.

That’s the first thing you need to know if you’re a caregiver. You are not invisible. The behind-the-scenes work, the invisible labor, the exhaustion nobody thinks to ask about — God sees it. You are not forgotten.

“Shame is too heavy of a weight to carry while carrying someone else.”

The feelings that come with caregiving can range from heartbreak, anger, resentment, guilt, and overwhelm. Feelings are not evidence that something is wrong with you. They show that you are human and you are carrying something heavy.

“Take your feelings to God first”, Jennifer urged. “Then find one safe person and say, without asking for answers or platitudes or fix-it solutions: ‘I need someone to hold this with me.’ Sometimes what you really need,” she said, “is someone to just hold your suffering with you.”

How to Hold Someone’s Suffering Without Carrying It Yourself

If you love someone who is hurting — a friend, a family member, someone in your ministry or small group — you know this feeling. You sit with their pain, you listen, you pray. And then you carry it home with you. It settles into your chest and stays there.

You are not meant to carry what you receive. You are meant to be a conduit.

Jenn is intentional about this in her own life. When she returns from disaster zones where she has seen the worst of human suffering, she has a plan, a personal list of what brings her back to herself.

These are simple things that help her release and reset. Top of her list is journaling. She calls this praying with a pen in her hand. She also makes time for items on her own “coming alive” list. These are the things that remind her life is here, in this moment, in her specific body.

“Have a plan,” she said. “Very specifically, when you know you’re in the middle of walking with a friend through a tough time, know what you’re going to do to release.”

She also offered something unexpected at the close of the conversation, speaking to the listeners who are more visual, more creative, more alive when they have something to make with their hands. Coloring. Vision boards. Painting a scene that feels safe. Building a grounding box filled with things that calm you. “God can heal parts of your brain as you color and meditate and pray,” she said. The body and the spirit are not separate projects.

The Cross in the Rubble

We began here, and we have to end here, because everything Jennifer Hand teaches flows from that moment on her knees in Nepal.

The hope she is pointing toward is not a feeling to be manufactured or a process to complete or a destination to arrive at. It is something that was placed beneath the rubble long before we started digging. It is a cross. It is a God who sees, who knows, who loves, who has not forgotten. It is Emmanuel — with us — which is the name of God Jennifer returns to again and again when she walks into suffering, because it is the truest thing she knows to say.

“There is a God in heaven who sees you,” she said quietly, in the voice she uses when she’s standing on holy ground. “Who knows you. Who loves you. And has not forgotten you.”

Just because you don’t feel hope doesn’t mean you are hopeless. It means hope is buried. And one gentle step at a time, it can be uncovered again.

If this conversation has spoken to you, I hope you’ll listen to the full episode — and consider sharing it with someone who might need these words today.

Your Habit of Hope This Week

Choose one small thing this week — just one — that makes you come alive. It can be as simple as a cup of good coffee, a walk outside, or cutting pictures out of a magazine. Let that one thing be enough. Life is here.

Connect with Jennifer Hand: Find her book, Hope Beneath the Rubble: Healing After Trauma, linked in the show notes. Don’t miss the QR code inside the back cover — it unlocks free video teachings and companion resources developed to walk alongside the book’s practical tools.

Questions Our Listeners Are Asking

What is trauma, and how do I know if I’ve experienced it? One way to think about it: trauma is any experience in which you felt unsafe — physically, emotionally, or relationally. Jennifer Hand explains that trauma isn’t defined by the size of the event, but by the impact it had on your nervous system. She encourages people to start by noticing: do small things create big reactions in you? That noticing, without shame, is a place to begin.

What are fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses? These are your body’s automatic survival responses to danger or perceived threat. Fight means you move toward the threat aggressively. Flight means you move away from it. Freeze means you become immobilized — like cement blocks around your feet. Fawn means you try to appease or people-please to avoid conflict. Jennifer Hand explains how the nervous system can get stuck in one of these modes long after the original danger has passed — and how to recognize when that’s happening in you.

What are some practical grounding tools for trauma and anxiety? Jennifer shares several in this episode: the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory grounding technique (pause and name five things you see, four you can touch, three you hear, two you smell, one you taste), square breathing (inhale, hold, and exhale for equal counts), walking for bilateral movement, and even sour candy or holding something warm to bring yourself back to the present moment. Most of these are free and can be done without anyone around you knowing.

Can faith and trauma healing work together? Yes — and this conversation explores exactly how. Jennifer integrates trauma-informed counseling with deep Christian faith, but she’s careful to distinguish between scripture that steadies people and platitudes that can actually hurt. Her framework: God is big enough for all your emotions, including the ones that feel dangerous to name. Healing sometimes requires wrestling with God, not just quoting Him.

What does it mean that hope is a process? Jennifer Hand is clear that hope is not a switch you flip on and leave on. Like grief, it’s nonlinear — it moves forward and backward, and some days the only hope available is a single steady breath. Just because you don’t feel hope doesn’t mean you are hopeless. It means hope is buried. And uncovering it, one small step at a time, is what healing actually looks like.

Does caregiving cause trauma? Yes. Vicarious trauma — the impact of walking alongside someone else’s suffering — is real and can be just as profound as direct trauma. Jennifer Hand specifically addresses caregivers, noting that the shame and invisible nature of their burden makes it even harder to process. Her word to caregivers: you are seen, you are not forgotten, and shame is too heavy a weight to carry while carrying someone else.

What is Jennifer Hand’s book about? Hope Beneath the Rubble: Healing After Trauma is a practical, faith-rooted guide for anyone who has experienced trauma, grief, or overwhelming loss. It includes journaling prompts in every chapter and a QR code that unlocks free companion video resources. Jennifer wrote it because she kept seeing the same faces — from earthquake survivors in Nepal to Sunday school classes in Tennessee — asking the same question: will I ever feel normal again?

Meet Our Guest

Jennifer Hand is the founder Coming Alive Ministries and loves the honor of traveling nationally and internationally, providing the invitation to come alive in Christ through conferences, retreats, written resources and counseling.

Jenn has had the joy of serving in over 54 countries and speaking at around 40 events a year. With her Master’s degree in trauma counseling, God has opened a unique door for Jenn to respond after natural disasters around the world, providing trauma counseling and the hope of Christ on the holy ground of suffering.

Jenn is the author of 5 books, including My Yes is on the Table, published by Moody Publishers. Her most recent book is Hope Beneath the Rubble: Healing After Trauma.

This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Hope Beneath the Rubble: Healing After Trauma by Jennifer Hand

Holy in the Moment: Simple Ways to Love God by Ginger Harrington

Starting Over and Feeling Alone? How God Meets You Where You Are

Ginger Harrington — Tue, 12 May 2026 00:00:17 +0000

When you’re feeling alone in a new place and don’t have the strength to try again, God meets you where you are—often through small, unexpected moments that become something lasting.

When Starting Over and Feeling Alone Is More Than You Can Handle

The new student orientation is the last place I want to be.

My sixteen-year-old daughter stands beside me, fingers twisting the ends of her hair. She’s the new girl again. And I’m absorbing every bit of her nerves — which means I’m fighting my own.

After twenty-two years of military life, I am worn thin from starting over. Too many moves. Too many goodbyes. And somehow, it never gets easier.

The weight of change presses in as I scan a sea of unfamiliar faces. The noise of excited chatter only makes me feel more alone. I fold in on myself, wishing I could disappear. Not knowing anyone makes me feel invisible in this crowd.

I try to sound upbeat for my daughter’s sake. “This looks like it’s going to be a great school.” But inside I’m praying something far more honest than that.

Why Starting Over Is So Hard (And Why That’s Not a Weakness)

My husband served for 24 years in the United States Marine Corps. That meant our life was marked by frequent moves — new places, new churches, new beginnings, over and over again. We even lived in Japan for four years, which was beautiful, and stretching in ways I didn’t always feel prepared for.

Moving has never been easy for me.

After my Graves’ disease diagnosis, anxiety began shaping how I experienced every transition. Not just the day-of. For months before we left. For months after we arrived. I once told a friend that every move cost me a year of my life to anxiety. It wasn’t literally true. But it felt true. And that’s something.

What I was really feeling wasn’t just the stress of change. It was the loss of community. The loss of stability. The loss of knowing where I belonged.

Every move meant starting over. And starting over takes courage — a kind of courage I didn’t always have.

Over time I began to understand something deeper: friendships are a gift, but they were never meant to carry the full weight of my security. Only God can do that. Only He remains steady when everything else is shifting.

In a recent conversation with Kristen Strong, we talked about friendship, loneliness, and the courage it takes to keep showing up through seasons of change. So many of you reached out to say, yes — this is hard. I wanted to share this story because I think you might need it today.

When You Don’t Have the Courage to Try Again

That’s exactly where I found myself that morning at orientation.

I wasn’t just in a new place — I was in that familiar tension between needing connection and feeling completely worn out by what it takes to get there. Feeling alone in a new place has its own particular weight. It’s not just loneliness. It’s the exhaustion of knowing what starting over will cost you.

I didn’t feel strong. I didn’t feel brave.

The loudspeaker crackled with instructions, sending students one direction and parents another. My daughter looked at me. She smiled. She squared her shoulders with a quiet, steady kind of courage — a let’s-do-this resolve.

And then she walked into the crowd.

In this moment, this slip of a girl was braver than I was.

I’m the mother. The one who’s supposed to have it together. The one who is confident and unafraid.

I am none of those things today.

I retreated to a bench in the cafeteria, arms crossed, hoping the morning would pass quickly. And then I told God exactly how I felt.

Lord, I just can’t do this today. Meeting people is more than I can handle right now. I don’t have it in me to start over again.

If there’s someone here You want me to meet — You’re going to have to bring them to me.

Because today I don’t have the courage to say hello.

Here’s what I’ve learned: God is not put off by prayers like that. He is not disappointed by your emotions or your limits. He meets you where you are — not after you’ve pulled yourself together, but right in the middle of the exhaustion.

“When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.” (Psalm 94:19)

Not when the anxious thoughts go away. Not when we finally feel ready. But right in the middle — that’s where He shows up.

When God Meets You in Unexpected Ways

Ten minutes later, I heard my name.

I looked up to see Patti — the pastor’s wife from our new church — walking toward me with a smile. All of a sudden, the heavy air seemed easier to breathe. Relief rushed in like something physical.

“I want to introduce you to some friends,” she said.

She didn’t send me toward them. She brought them to me.

He didn’t send a dramatic sign. He sent a familiar face in a room full of strangers. A smile. An introduction. Two women — Kris with the curly red hair and Leigh with the dimple in her cheek — whose simple, gracious hello began to steady something inside me.

Hello is such a small word. But it carries something. You’re seen. You’re not alone. There’s space for you here.

Sometimes the smallest connection becomes the beginning of something much bigger than you can see from where you’re standing. In my mind, I could almost hear God’s gentle humor. His grace meeting my weary heart exactly where I was.

Isaiah 41:10 has carried me through more hard transitions than I can count:

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Notice what God promises. Not that you’ll suddenly feel brave. Not that starting over will stop being hard. But that He will be your strength.

Bravery comes and goes. God remains faithful.

What I Didn’t Know Then

I originally wrote about this moment years ago, not long after it happened. Updating this story now—fifteen years later—feels a little emotional because I can finally see more clearly what God was building in a season that once felt so overwhelming.

What I didn’t know that day was that God was doing far more than easing a hard moment.

He was beginning a story.

I couldn’t have known, sitting on that bench with my arms crossed and my courage at zero, that God was beginning one of the great friendships of my life. I just knew I was tired. He knew everything else.

Fifteen years later, what started with that simple introduction has grown into one of my closest friendships — a prayer partner and faithful companion through every season.

We’ve walked through raising teenagers together. Kids’ weddings and new beginnings. Seasons of loss and grief. And now the joy of grandparenting.

All from a moment when I didn’t even have the courage to say hello.

God Is Doing More Than You Can See Right Now

When you’re in the middle of a hard transition, you can’t see what God is building. You only feel what’s uncomfortable, awkward, or exhausting. You wonder if it’s worth trying again. You wonder if connection is even possible from where you’re standing.

But God sees the whole story.

I look back now and see His kindness woven through that morning in ways I couldn’t recognize at the time. He didn’t force me to be brave. He provided for me right where I was — feeling alone, arms crossed, barely praying.

Friend, He’s not waiting for you to get it together first. He met me on a cafeteria bench with my prayers barely formed. That’s where He shows up — right in the middle of the mess, right in the middle of the move, right in the middle of the new place that doesn’t feel like home yet.

Habit of Hope

This week, release the pressure to make something happen.

If starting over feels hard right now — if you’re feeling alone in a new place and you don’t have the strength to try again — let this be your prayer:

“Lord, would you bring the right people into my path?”

And then simply pay attention.

Notice who shows up. Notice the small beginnings. Notice the moment someone says your name across a crowded room.

Because sometimes hope doesn’t begin with our effort. It begins with receiving what God is already bringing to us.

You may not feel ready. You may not feel brave. You may be tired of starting over.

But you are not alone in that place. And the God who sees you in your weakness? He’s already at work.

FAQ: Starting Over, Feeling Alone, and Where God Meets You

Why is starting over so emotionally exhausting — even when it’s not your first time? Because every transition involves real loss — of community, of stability, of knowing where you belong. That cumulative weight is real. After twenty-two years of military moves, I can tell you: it doesn’t automatically get easier just because you’ve done it before. But those tender, worn-out places are often exactly where God meets us most personally.

What do you do when you’re feeling alone in a new place and don’t have the energy to try again? Be honest with God about exactly where you are. Not polished, not composed — honest. The prayer I prayed that day was almost an admission of defeat more than a faith-filled request: Lord, I can’t do this. You’re going to have to bring someone to me. He answered it in ten minutes. You don’t need courage first. You just need willingness to let Him work.

Does God really meet you where you are — even when you’re too tired to reach out? Yes. That’s the heart of this story. He meets you where you are — not after you’ve found your footing, not after you’ve settled in, not after you feel brave enough. Sometimes He strengthens us to reach out. And sometimes, like He did for me that morning, He brings the hello to us.

How do you trust God with the loneliness of a hard transition? One small prayer at a time. I’m not sure I trusted God fully that morning — I was just too tired to do anything else. But He was faithful anyway. He often works through ordinary moments — a familiar face, a timely introduction, a simple smile — that carry something much deeper underneath. What looks like a small kindness can be the beginning of one of the great gifts of your life.

What if connection just doesn’t seem to be happening, no matter how hard I try? Friend, sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is stop trying so hard and start paying attention. Notice who God is already placing in your path. The friendships that have meant the most to me didn’t begin with my best effort — they began with small, unexpected moments I almost missed.

A Personal Note

If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, overwhelm, or the emotional exhaustion of major life transitions, I share more about where this struggle began for me in the first chapter of Holy in the Moment. It’s a deeply personal part of my story—and one of the places where God began meeting me in a deeper way. You can read the chapter free here.

From the Archives: Life, Moving, and Starting Over

One of the gifts of having a blog that has been around for more than 15 years is that it holds pieces of so many different seasons of my life. Long before podcasts and books, I was writing my way through military moves, culture shock, parenting transitions, and the emotional challenge of starting over again.

Looking back now, I can see God’s faithfulness woven through those earlier stories in ways I couldn’t fully see at the time. Here are a few posts from the archives if you’d like to step back into some of those seasons with me:

How to Find Friendship When You Feel Lonely (Biblical Hope for Hard Seasons)

Ginger Harrington — Tue, 28 Apr 2026 02:03:29 +0000

Struggling to find friendship when you feel lonely? Discover biblical encouragement and practical steps for making friends as an adult.

Have you ever tried to find friendship when you feel lonely—and wondered why it still feels so hard?

Surrounded by people, you still feel disconnected, unsure where you belong, or hesitant to reach out again. If you’ve wrestled with how to deal with loneliness as a Christian, you’re not alone. Many women struggle with loneliness and finding friends, especially in seasons of transition, loss, or change.

In this conversation, we’re talking with Kristen Strong, author of Desperate Woman Seeks Friends. Join us for an honest look at loneliness, belonging, and what it looks like to build meaningful connection in real life.

Why Is It So Hard to Find Friendship When You Feel Lonely?

Before we go deeper into this conversation, it’s worth naming something many of us experience: loneliness is far more common than we realize—and it’s exactly why this conversation matters so much.

Kristen, what prompted you to write Desperate Woman Seeks Friends?

Kristen Strong:

Honestly, friendship is something I’ve been fascinated with since I first started writing. My very first paid article was on friendship, and it’s always stayed with me.

But this book came from a deeper place. For much of my life, I didn’t feel like I had “my people” in a consistent way—especially locally. Whenever I wrote about friendship, people responded. They were wrestling with it too.

At the same time, research was confirming what many of us already felt—that we’re living in a loneliness epidemic. It really felt like the book I was always supposed to write—it just wasn’t the right time until now.

How Do You Deal with Loneliness as a Christian?

Before we talk about friendship on the outside, we need to look at what’s happening on the inside—because how we understand loneliness and the role our faith plays in it shapes how we respond.

Q: How has your faith shaped the way you think about loneliness and belonging?

Kristen Strong:

My faith has been everything in this. The Lord has taught me that loneliness itself isn’t always a bad thing.

Isolation for long periods isn’t healthy—but seasons of loneliness are part of life. Instead of being afraid of them, I’ve learned to become curious. What is God trying to teach me here?

There was a season when I couldn’t seem to make friends no matter how hard I tried. I even joked that I should stand in my yard holding a sign that said, “Desperate Woman Seeks Friends.”

During that time, the Lord showed me something I didn’t expect. I realized He removed the distraction of friendships so I could go deeper with Him.

And that changed everything.

Because even when friends weren’t there—Jesus was. He is the friend who never fails.

“Sometimes loneliness isn’t just something to fix—it’s a place where God is inviting us to a deeper connection with Him.”

Are We Expecting Too Much from Friendship?

As we move into the realities of friendship, this next part of the conversation brings gentle clarity to something many of us feel, but don’t always recognize. Sometimes the struggle isn’t just finding friends. It’s what we’re expecting those friendships to carry.

Q: Sometimes we depend on friendships for things the Lord wants us to depend on Him for. Can you speak to that?

Kristen Strong:

That’s been absolutely true in my life. I’m a doer, and I like to fix things. For a long time, I looked to friendships to fill emotional gaps that really needed to be filled by God.

I’d finally make one friend—and then expect her to be everything. That’s a lot of pressure for one person, whether we realize it or not.

Over time, I began to see what was happening. I skipped over God, depending on friends to meet my needs. While God works through friendships, He was teaching me to come to Him first.

And I want to say this clearly, because it matters: if friendship feels hard, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It’s hard simply because it’s hard.

God uses friendships in our lives—but He also wants to be our first place of connection, the One we return to again and again.

“If friendship feels hard, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re human.”

Why Is Making Friends as an Adult More Difficult Than It Used to Be?

At some point, many of us notice a shift. Friendship doesn’t happen as easily as it once did. The built-in rhythms of school, shared environments, and everyday proximity change—and suddenly, connection requires more effort than it used to.

Q: Friendship seems to be a challenge across every season of life, but it does feel different now. What are you seeing today?

Kristen Strong:

It really is harder in many ways—especially now. We’re more connected digitally, but often less connected personally.

It’s not just about being busy. There are deeper shifts in how we live, communicate, and relate to one another that make friendship feel more complicated in this season of life.

We spend so much time interacting through screens that we’re losing some of the natural, interpersonal skills that used to help friendships form more easily.Starting conversation or reading social cues don’t come as naturally when most of our interaction happens online.

Younger generations especially have grown up this way. They’re often called “digital natives,” meaning they’ve had fewer opportunities to practice face-to-face communication. But honestly, it’s not just them—it’s affecting all of us to some degree.

And then you add in the realities of adult life. We’re no longer in environments where we’re surrounded by peers every day. We’re managing full schedules, responsibilities, families, work. All of that makes connection slower and more intentional.

So yes, it’s harder. But harder doesn’t mean impossible.

It just means we have to approach friendship differently. We have to be more intentional and more patient. We need to be more willing to take small steps toward connection than we may have needed to in earlier seasons of life.

What Are We Getting Wrong About Friendship?

Sometimes the hardest part of friendship isn’t what’s happening around us, but what we believe about it. The assumptions we carry shape how we show up, how we respond, and even whether we try at all.

Q: What are some common myths about friendship?

Kristen Strong:

I think one of the biggest myths is believing it’s harder for us than it is for everyone else.

We assume we should be able to walk into a room and instantly find our people. We think connections should be easy. It’s all too easy to believe something must be wrong with us if we struggle to make friends.

But the truth is, it’s hard for everyone.

Friendship is both an art and a skill that we can develop over time. Some people may have more of a natural ease with it, but no one is born knowing exactly how to build meaningful relationships. It takes practice.

For a long time, I fell into a victim mindset. I would tell myself things like, people already have their friends, or this just isn’t a friendly place, or it’s harder here than it is for other people. And while there may have been some truth in those circumstances, I was letting them become a roadblock.

Looking back, it just took more effort than I was used to. I didn’t always want to give it. Realizing this was a turning point for me.

While friendship may be harder in some seasons or environments, it’s not impossible for any of us. These hard seasons call for intention, persistence, and willingness to keep showing up. Even when it doesn’t come easily.

How Do You Start Building Friendship in a Lonely Season?

This is where the conversation turns toward both honesty and hope.

Q: What would you say to the woman who feels stuck or unseen?

Kristen Strong:

I would say—first, you’re not alone in that feeling. Truly. So many of us have been there, even if it doesn’t always look that way from the outside.

But I’d also gently ask a question I’ve had to ask myself: Am I going deep with anyone?

Because sometimes we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. We may have plenty of acquaintances, plenty of conversations, but everything stays at the surface. And often, that’s not because we don’t want deeper friendship—it’s because we’re hesitant to be vulnerable.

We don’t want to share the hard parts. We don’t want to seem like we have struggles. We want to appear put together. But when we stay in that place, it keeps our relationships from ever moving beyond the surface.

In researching this, I read a great book called Made for Friendship by Drew Hunter, and he uses an analogy that really stuck with me. He says we often treat friendship like a cruise ship, where we know a little about a lot of people. But real friendship is more like a submarine, where you go deep with a few.

And that depth requires vulnerability.

It means being willing to share not just what’s going well, but the good, the hard, and even the messy parts of life. And when you do that, it creates space for the other person to do the same. That’s where real connection begins.

So sometimes the shift isn’t finding more people—it’s letting yourself be more fully known by the people already around you.

What Small Steps Help You Make Friends as an Adult?

This is where the conversation turns practical. It’s also where we begin to see how small, intentional rhythms can shape the way we experience connection over time.

Q: Here on the podcast, we love talking about small, practical rhythms that help us live with more hope. Is there one practice the Lord has taught you that has become a habit of hope when it comes to cultivating friendships?

Kristen Strong:

Yes, and it’s so simple.

When I notice something I appreciate about someone, I say it.

It might be something small, like the way she interacts with her child, something she’s wearing, or just something kind I observe. And whether I know her or not, I name it.

That doesn’t mean I’ve become close friends with every person I talk with. Not at all. But those small moments create connection. They have a way of opening the door, even just a little.

They also help me practice being friendly. And that’s really the first step in building any kind of friendship.

Sometimes those small interactions lead to a second conversation. Sometimes they don’t. But either way, they matter. They can brighten someone’s day. Over time, it’s becoming easier to connect with people. Even in settings where I don’t know anyone, I’m more comfortable starting a conversation because I’ve practiced it in small ways.

Most friendships don’t begin with big moments. They begin with small, intentional ones that grow over time.

How Do You Quiet Insecurity and Fear in Friendship?

Even when we take small steps toward connection, there’s often another layer beneath the surface. Old wounds, insecurity, and internal narratives can quietly shape how we show up in relationships.

Ginger Harrington:

I think there are so many internal conversations we have as women when it comes to friendship—wondering if we’re accepted, if someone really likes us, or if we’re being left out. How do we keep those thoughts from taking over and allow each new friendship to be its own story?

For me, some of that goes all the way back to elementary school. I was the girl who got made fun of for being chubby. It planted a message in my heart: people don’t really like you.

It’s amazing how those early experiences can stay with you. Even years later, they can resurface in new situations. And suddenly that old message echoes in our minds.

How do we keep those thoughts from taking over and allow each new friendship to be its own story?

Kristen Strong:

That’s such a real struggle. And even as we get older, while we may care less about what people think than we did in our twenties, it doesn’t mean we stop caring altogether.

I remember being in middle school and having this moment where I suddenly thought, maybe this friend is only here because she has nothing better to do. That thought stayed with me. It made me question whether people really valued me or if I was just a convenient option.

And I think those kinds of messages can stick with us. They can pop up years later in new situations, even when they’re not actually true.

Most of the time, people are thinking about themselves.

We’re rarely analyze everything someone else says. If anything, we’re wondering, Did I say something weird? Did I come across okay?

So much of the pressure we feel is coming from our own internal dialogue rather than reality.

Also, there’s a spiritual component to this. The enemy loves to isolate us. One of the easiest ways to do that is in our thoughts. If he can make us believe we don’t belong or that people don’t really want us around, then we start to withdraw before anything even happens externally.

We walk into a space with a different mindset. When we focus on getting to know others instead of worrying about what we’re going to receive—it changes the experience.

We often leave having received more than we expected.

How Does God Meet You in Seasons of Loneliness?

At the heart of this conversation is a truth we all need to remember, especially in the moments when loneliness feels the heaviest. Kristen points back to Scripture to remind us that our longing for connection is not weakness or failure. It is part of how God made us.

Q: Are there any specific Scriptures or promises from God that have given you hope or wisdom or strength during seasons of loneliness that have been game changers for you?

Kristen Strong:

Yes. One of the passages that has been especially meaningful to me is in Genesis, where God says:

“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’” (Genesis 2:18, NLT)

What stands out to me about that is this happens before the fall, before sin enters the world. And yet God still says, it is not good for man to be alone.

So loneliness is not always a sign that you’re doing something wrong. It’s not simply the result of sin. It’s a reflection of how we were created. We were made for connection.

I also think about Ruth and Naomi and the way Ruth stayed with Naomi. Naomi gave her the chance to leave, but Ruth chose to remain. That story reminds me that friendship can be a place of real faithfulness and perseverance.

At the same time, friendship takes wisdom. It takes two yeses for a friendship to grow. If someone is not open to that relationship, then it’s important to turn toward the people who do see you, who do value you, and who do want to invest in that connection. But there are also times when perseverance matters, and the Lord gives wisdom for that too.

And through all of it, I come back to this: you are not alone in your loneliness.

That feeling does not mean something is wrong with you. It means you are human, and you were made for connection.

But even in the waiting, even when friendship does not look the way you hoped it would, God is present. He has not left you. He has not forgotten you. His presence with you is steady, and His character does not change.

Loneliness may be part of your story, but it is not the whole story. God is still at work, even here.

About Kristen Strong

Kristen Strong is an author, speaker, and encourager who helps women navigate friendship, belonging, and seasons of change with honesty and hope. As the author of Desperate Woman Seeks Friends, she offers a warm and practical perspective on the challenges of connection and the beauty of meaningful relationships.

A former military spouse, Kristen draws from years of transition and starting over to speak into the real-life struggles many women face when building community. Through her writing and speaking, she reminds women that they are not alone and that friendship, while sometimes hard, is always worth pursuing.

You can connect with Kristen at kristenstrong.com or follow her on Instagram @kristenstrong.

About Ginger Harrington

Ginger Harrington is an author, speaker, and host of the Habits of Hope Podcast, where she encourages women to build daily rhythms that help them stay rooted in God’s truth through every season of life. Her work focuses on spiritual formation, resilient hope, and finding God’s presence in the middle of real, everyday moments.

Resources & Links

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Why Small Habits Matter More Than You Think (Faithfulness in Everyday Life)

Ginger Harrington — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 00:10:24 +0000

Small habits shape your life through consistency in daily habits, forming patterns that lead to faithfulness in the little things over time.

Have you ever felt like the small things you do each day don’t really matter?

Reading a few verses. Saying a quick prayer. Tidying one space. Taking a short walk. Choosing a better response in a hard moment.

They can feel so small—almost too small to make a difference.

And if you’re honest, it’s easy to wonder if those little choices are shaping anything at all.

But what if those small, consistent actions are the very place your life is being formed?

That’s where this conversation begins. Not with pressure to do more, but with an invitation to be faithful in what’s right in front of you.

Because over time, small habits don’t stay small.
They shape a life.

What Does Scripture Say About Faithfulness in Little Things?

Jesus speaks directly to this in Gospel of Luke 16:10: whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.

It’s easy to hear that and think about big opportunities or future responsibilities. But this verse brings us back to something much more immediate.

Faithfulness begins in the everyday.

It begins in the small things you might be tempted to overlook—the next right step, the quiet decision, the ordinary moment.

And if you’re anything like me, that’s a big relief. When I start thinking about the “big picture,” I can feel overwhelmed quickly. But when I come back to what’s right in front of me today, it becomes doable again.

Faithfulness isn’t about managing everything.
It’s about showing up in what’s already in your hands.

How Do Consistent Habits Actually Shape Your Life?

Small habits shape your life through consistent repetition that forms both your thinking and your actions. Over time, what begins as intentional effort becomes natural, creating patterns that influence who you are becoming.

There’s something built into the way we’re designed that supports this.

When you repeat a thought, a response, or a behavior, you begin to strengthen that pathway. What once felt difficult starts to feel familiar. What once required effort begins to happen more naturally.

And that’s why this matters so much.

The small things you repeat don’t just fill your days.
They shape who you are becoming.

Why Consistency Matters More Than Good Intentions

For a long time, I jokingly referred to myself as the “queen of good intentions.”

Maybe you’ve been there too.

You want to grow. You want to be consistent. You want to follow through. But wanting something and actually living it out can feel like two very different things.

And over time, that gap can feel frustrating.

Here’s what I’ve had to learn:

It’s not our intentions that shape our lives.
It’s our consistent actions.

That doesn’t mean intention doesn’t matter. It does. But intention without follow-through doesn’t create change.

What shapes your life is what you repeat.

That’s where habits come in—not as pressure to perform, but to practice faithfulness in the everyday rhythms of your life.

Transformation Involves Your Whole Life

One of the reasons we struggle with consistency is that we often approach change in a fragmented way. It’s not simply a matter of self-discipline. Real change goes deeper than trying harder.

We try to change behavior without addressing our thoughts. We focus on actions without considering our emotions. We attempt discipline without understanding what is happening in our hearts.

But real transformation involves the whole person.

Scripture calls us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. This isn’t just poetic language—it reflects how deeply connected every part of us is.

Your thoughts influence your choices. What you think about sets direction for what you choose. Your will—your ability to follow through—is closely tied to what is happening in your mind.

When your thoughts are working against you, consistency becomes difficult. Even when your intentions are good, misaligned thinking makes follow-through feel like an uphill climb.

I’ve experienced this more times than I can count—wanting to build a habit, wanting to be consistent, and yet feeling stuck. Not because I didn’t care, but because something underneath wasn’t aligned.

When these parts are working against each other, growth feels frustrating and slow. But when they begin to align, something shifts. What once felt forced begins to feel more natural. What once required constant effort begins to feel more possible.

If your thoughts say something doesn’t matter, consistency will break down. If your mind is renewed, your habits begin to follow. This is where we move beyond behavior change into something deeper. This is about formation.

Instead of forcing change, we begin to ask a different question: Where might God be inviting alignment in my life?

Because real transformation happens as your thoughts, your desires, and your actions begin to move in the same direction—aligned with what God is already doing within you.

How Small Habits Become Part of Who You Are

At first, every habit requires effort.

You think about it.
You choose it.
You remember to follow through.

But over time, something shifts.

What you practice consistently begins to move from effort to something more natural. It becomes part of how you live.

And that’s a gift, because you don’t have to rely on motivation alone. You’re not starting from scratch every day. The things you’ve practiced begin to support you.

I’ve seen this in small ways over time—areas where something that once felt hard now feels almost automatic.

And it reminds me that growth doesn’t happen all at once.
It happens slowly, quietly, and consistently.

Consistency in Daily Habits in My Life

These habits don’t usually look dramatic. They look like small, faithful choices repeated over time.

For me, one example has been learning to shift from anxiety to trust—especially when it comes to my kids.

My default in the past has often been to worry. To try to figure things out. To carry something that was never mine to hold in the first place.

Through the years God has been helping me build a different pattern. When something comes up, I’m learning to pause and remember that He is already at work in their lives. That I can trust Him. That I can pray differently—not just “fix this,” but “Lord, show me how to walk with You in this.”

That hasn’t changed overnight. But it is changing.

Another area for me has been something as simple—and honestly, as frustrating—as keeping up with the kitchen. There are days I don’t want to do it. Days I fall behind. Days I feel like I’m starting over again.

But I’ve also experienced the difference it makes. Walking into a clean space. Having things in order. Feeling like I can breathe again. It’s not exciting. But it matters.

And those small acts of faithfulness—whether it’s your home, your thoughts, your responses, or your relationships—begin to shape your life over time.

Practical Ways to Practice Faithfulness in Everyday Life

In our podcast conversation, Larissa and I shared more examples of what it can look like to practice consistency in small, everyday ways. These are areas where we are seeing the benefit of consistency bring growth.

For example:

Returning to journaling in a new way
You may already have a rhythm of gratitude, but then find the Lord gently leading you to go a little deeper. Maybe it’s adding a few lines of reflection or noticing His faithfulness in places that don’t always make it onto a gratitude list. Even a small daily practice can open up space for deeper awareness over time.
Creating a simple “looking forward to” rhythm
In seasons where it feels hard to look ahead, a small habit like naming one or two things you’re looking forward to the next day can quietly shift your perspective. It doesn’t have to be big—just something that helps your heart lean toward hope instead of dread.
Showing up consistently for support and growth
Whether it’s counseling, a trusted conversation, or another space where you’re intentionally processing what’s going on in your life, the habit of showing up matters. Over time, that consistency creates room for clarity, healing, and forward movement.
Taking care of what’s right in front of you
A small task you could put off—but instead, you take a few minutes to do it now. Clearing a space. Finishing something simple. Creating just a little more margin. Those small actions often bring more mental and emotional clarity than we expect.
Reaching out in relationships
Instead of waiting for the perfect time, you make the call. Send the message. Initiate the connection. Even a short conversation can bring encouragement and remind both of you that you’re not walking alone.

None of these feel significant on their own. But over time, they begin to change the way you live. They become the quiet, steady ways you practice faithfulness in the life God has given you.

Why Small Habits Are Worth Building

Habits matter because they help you live out what you value consistently.

They help you show up when motivation fades—which it does.
They reduce the constant need to decide what to do next.
They align your daily life with what matters most.
And they make faithfulness sustainable.

Because the truth is, we don’t drift into growth. We drift into patterns. And those patterns, over time, shape the direction of our lives.

The good news is that those patterns can change.

How to Start Practicing Faithfulness in the Little Things

This is where it can start to feel overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to be. You don’t need to change everything. You just need one small step. One place where you can begin to practice faithfulness.

It might be:

pausing before reacting
taking a few minutes to pray
clearing one small space
reaching out to someone
returning to Scripture

Not perfectly. Not impressively. Just consistently.

And letting the Lord lead you in that process.

Because this isn’t about doing more.

It’s about becoming someone who is faithful in the small things.

FAQ: Small Habits and Faithfulness in Everyday Life

Do small habits really make a difference over time?

Yes—small habits make a significant difference because they shape what you do consistently. Over time, repeated actions form patterns, and those patterns influence your thoughts, choices, and direction. What feels small in the moment often becomes the foundation for lasting change.

Why is it so hard to stay consistent with small habits?

Consistency is often difficult because we focus on behavior without addressing what’s happening underneath—our thoughts, emotions, and expectations. When those aren’t aligned, even simple habits can feel like an uphill climb. Growth becomes more sustainable when your thinking begins to align with truth.

How do I start building a habit without feeling overwhelmed?

Start with one small step.

Choose a habit that feels simple and doable and focus on showing up consistently rather than doing it perfectly. You don’t need to change everything at once. Faithfulness grows when you return to the same small practice over time.

What if I keep starting over and losing momentum?

Starting over is part of the process.

There will be seasons where consistency feels easier and others where it feels harder. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s returning. Each time you begin again, you are still building something over time.

Are habits just about self-discipline, or is there something more?

Habits are not just about self-discipline.

They are one of the ways you participate in what God is already doing in your life. As you practice small, faithful steps, you are not working alone—you are cooperating with His work in you.

Where Transformation Really Begins

Small habits don’t feel powerful in the moment. They feel ordinary. Easy to overlook. Easy to dismiss.

But over time, they shape your thoughts, your responses, and your direction. They become the place where transformation takes root. And as you practice faithfulness in the small things, you begin to see something deeper:

God is at work—not just in the big moments, but in the everyday rhythms of your life.

Habit of Hope

Choose one small habit this week.

Just one.

Practice it—not to achieve something, but as an act of faithfulness. Because when you are faithful in the little things, God is at work in ways you may not even see yet.

If the idea of finding God in the small, everyday moments resonates with you, this is the heart behind Holy in the Moment. It’s a simple, practical guide to recognizing God’s presence and responding to Him right in the middle of ordinary life—where faithfulness is formed one small step at a time.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

References

The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg
Living in Christ’s Presence by Dallas Willard
Holy in the Moment by Ginger Harrington

Author Bio

Ginger Harrington is a writer, speaker, and host of the Habits of Hope Podcast, where she helps women build daily rhythms that lead to resilient faith and lasting hope. She is the author of Holy in the Moment and creates practical, Scripture-centered resources to help you grow in your walk with God through everyday life.

What Is Holy Leisure? Finding Joy with God Instead of Quiet Time Pressure

Ginger Harrington — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 23:54:10 +0000

Struggling with quiet time pressure? Discover how “holy leisure” transforms your time with God from duty into joyful, life-giving communion.

There are seasons when something meant to nourish our souls begins to feel like pressure.

We know time with God matters, and we truly want it. But somewhere along the way, it quietly shifts—from delight to duty, from relationship to routine.

That’s why this conversation with Cara Ray felt like such a deep exhale for me. Her message about “holy leisure” gently invites us back to something we often forget: God isn’t waiting for our performance—He’s inviting us into His presence. And that changes everything.

Why Does Quiet Time Start to Feel Like a Chore?

Before we dive into the heart of holy leisure, Cara shares how this tension first showed up in her own story.

Ginger Harrington:
You describe yourself as a former “quiet time checkbox checker.” Can you take us back to that season? When did you begin to realize your spiritual rhythms had shifted from delight to duty?

Cara Ray:
I became a Christian very early in life, around six or seven. But as a teenager, I really wanted to own my faith and grow spiritually. I was being discipled to have a daily quiet time, and all of that was very well-meaning.

But it became something I felt like a spiritual failure at.

If I wasn’t getting up early, I wasn’t doing it right. If it wasn’t an hour long, I wasn’t doing it right. If I didn’t have an emotional experience, I wasn’t doing it right.

And that mindset stuck with me for a long time.

Then about seven years ago, I was reading The Celebration of Discipline and came across a phrase—odium sanctum, or “holy leisure.” It described this restful, meditative way of life.

That phrase captured my attention. I realized, this is what I’ve been missing.

I wanted my time with God to feel like something I enjoyed—like going to coffee with a friend or watching a sunset. And I began to ask: Why can’t time in God’s Word feel like that?

I wanted my time with the Lord to feel leisurely… something I enjoy, not something I have to check off.

How Do You Enjoy God Without Pressure in Your Quiet Time?

As Cara began to unpack this idea, it revealed something deeper about how we relate to God.

Ginger Harrington:
I think many of us can relate to evaluating our quiet time—was it good enough? Did I get something out of it? That mindset can lead us into performance instead of communion.

Cara Ray:
Yes, exactly. And I think holy leisure frees us from that.

It becomes a habit—someth building a muscle.

Not every time in God’s Word is emotional or euphoric. Sometimes the Spirit speaks very gently. But as we continue returning, something deeper is being formed in us.

When we remove that checkbox mentality, it changes how we approach God’s Word—and what we receive from it.

“When we remove the checkbox mentality, it changes how we approach God—and what we receive from Him.”

What Is the Difference Between Union and Communion with God?

Before moving into how this plays out practically, Cara introduces a foundational truth that reshapes everything.

Ginger Harrington:
You talk about union with Christ versus communion with Christ. Can you explain that?

Cara Ray:
Our union with Christ is secure. It’s the relationship we have because of what Jesus has done—not anything we do. Nothing can interrupt that.

But our communion—our felt closeness with God—can fluctuate. Sometimes sin or distraction interrupts that flow.

Understanding that changed everything for me. I realized I’m not earning God’s favor by showing up—I already have His favor in Christ. And now I want to enjoy that relationship.

What Is Holy Leisure—and What Does It Actually Mean?

Now that we’ve explored the heart behind it, let’s define what holy leisure actually means—and what it doesn’t.

Ginger Harrington:
For someone hearing this phrase for the first time, what does holy leisure not mean?

Cara Ray:
It doesn’t mean doing nothing.

We often think leisure is passive—like watching TV—but that’s not what I’m talking about. True leisure is an engagement of the mind, the heart, and the will.

It’s a pursuit of what is good, true, and beautiful. And ultimately, that’s what leads our souls into rest.

So rest isn’t about doing nothing—it’s about rightly engaging with what nourishes your soul.

Why Does God Often Do His Deepest Work in Hidden Places?

As we begin to see holy leisure differently, it naturally reshapes how we think about our time with God.

Ginger Harrington:
Why do you think the hidden places—those quiet moments with God—are where He does such deep work?

Cara Ray:
Because that’s where formation happens.

That’s where it’s just you and the Lord. No one else sees it, but that’s where your heart is rooted in Him.

Over time, as you develop those patterns of prayer and Scripture, something steady is being formed in you. And that quiet work begins to shape everything else.

How Does Holy Leisure Help You Enjoy God Without Pressure in Everyday Life?

From those hidden places, Cara describes how this way of being with God begins to overflow into daily life.

Ginger Harrington:
How does holy leisure carry into everyday life without becoming another strategy for productivity?

Cara Ray:
We do have to fight that tendency—we’re wired for productivity.

But holy leisure is about overflow. It’s how your time with God begins to shape your interactions—your home, your work, your relationships.

Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like something you want to do in the moment. But as you step into it, you often discover the joy in it. That’s where the delight begins to grow.

“Holy leisure is not about doing less—it’s about enjoying God more in what you’re already doing.”

Can You Enjoy God Without Pressure Even in Hard Seasons?

This next part of the conversation moves into something we all face—seasons of dryness, suffering, and doubt.

Ginger Harrington:
How does holy leisure speak to hard seasons without offering shallow answers?

Cara Ray:
Those seasons are difficult, and sometimes we don’t even want to go to God’s Word.

But that’s exactly where we need Him most.

In those moments, He meets us. He gives us living water. He awakens our hearts and reminds us of what is true.

Sometimes those seasons of dryness are what draw us closer to Him. And holy leisure gives us a way to pursue God and even enjoy Him in the middle of suffering.

“Sometimes we avoid the very things we need most—but God meets us there.”

How Does God Produce Fruit Through Every Season?

As Cara shares, even the hardest seasons are not wasted.

Ginger Harrington:
How does this journey lead to fruitfulness?

Cara Ray:
I love the image of the vine and branches.

God prunes us—not to harm us, but so we’ll bear more fruit. And that process can be painful.

But over time, it leads to something beautiful—the fruit of the Spirit growing in us.

To bear fruit, we have to abide. We stay connected. We keep returning to God’s Word and prayer. And as we do, that fruit begins to grow.

“To bear fruit, we have to abide—stay connected and keep returning.”

An Invitation to Slow Down and Enjoy God

What I love most about this conversation is how gently it brings us back to what matters most.

Not more effort or better discipline, and not a perfectly consistent routine—but presence.

Because hope doesn’t grow through striving. It grows through communion.

And maybe the next faithful step isn’t to try harder, but simply to slow down and remember that God is already near—and He is inviting you to enjoy Him.

Habit of Hope

As you carry this conversation into your own rhythms this week, begin here:

Open your Bible not as a task to complete, but as a place to enjoy time with the God who is already with you.

Frequently Asked Questions About Quiet Time and Enjoying God

Why does my quiet time feel like a chore instead of something life-giving?
Quiet time often starts to feel like a chore when it becomes performance-driven instead of relational. When we focus on doing it “right” rather than meeting with God, it can shift from delight to duty. Reframing it as time with God—not a task for God—can restore joy.

What is “holy leisure” in the Christian life?
Holy leisure is the practice of enjoying God through unhurried, attentive time in His presence. It’s not about doing nothing—it’s about engaging your heart, mind, and spirit with what is true, good, and beautiful, especially through Scripture and prayer.

How can I enjoy time with God again if I feel spiritually dry?
Start small and simple. Instead of trying to fix everything, return to God’s Word with openness rather than expectation. Even in dry seasons, God meets us. Over time, consistency—not intensity—helps restore connection.

What’s the difference between union and communion with God?
Union with God is your secure relationship in Christ—it never changes. Communion is your experience of closeness with Him, which can ebb and flow. Understanding that your relationship is secure helps remove pressure and invites you to enjoy His presence more freely.

What is one simple way to reconnect with God today?
A practical step is to read a passage like Ephesians 1–3 and notice every phrase that says “in Christ” or “with Him.” This helps anchor your identity in truth and renew your desire to know God more deeply.

Meet Cara Ray

Cara Ray is a writer, Bible teacher, and host of the Writers Block Podcast. She encourages Christian women to slow down, savor Scripture, and enjoy God in everyday life. Cara is the author of The Pursuit of Holy Leisure: Enjoying God in Everyday Places and lives in Gilbert, Arizona, with her husband and family.

Resources & Links

The Pursuit of Holy Leisure: Enjoying God in Everyday Places by Cara Ray (Affiliate link)
Visit Cara Ray’s website for more information and content from Cara.

How the Holy Spirit Comforts You in Hard Times

Ginger Harrington — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 00:09:37 +0000

Discover how the Holy Spirit comforts you in hard times through truth, presence, and everyday moments. Experience biblical hope for when life feels uncertain.

One of the hardest parts of suffering is not always the pain itself—it’s the waiting.

When the circumstances don’t immediately change…
When prayer is still unanswered…

When grief is still heavy…

When questions are still there…

This is where the need for comfort becomes real.

It’s tempting to assume comfort will come when things resolve—but Scripture shows us something different:

God meets us in the middle of what hasn’t changed yet.

Something unexpected happens: a quiet peace, a remembered promise, or a sense that you are not alone.

This conversation felt especially meaningful to me because it reflects something I’ve seen many times in my own life—God doesn’t always remove the difficulty, but He meets us within it.

In this final conversation in our Holy Spirit series, we explore what it means to experience the Holy Spirit as our Comforter—not in theory, but in our real, lived moments.

This is the third post in our series on the Holy Spirit, where we’re exploring how God’s presence meets us in everyday life. In this conversation, we’re especially grateful to welcome Dr. Brenda Pace, whose wisdom and lived experience bring a beautiful depth to this topic.

If you’d like to explore the full series, you can also read:

How the Holy Spirit Guides You into Truth (What the Bible Says)
How the Holy Spirit Helps You in Your Weakness (What the Bible Says)

Who Is the God of All Comfort? (2 Corinthians 1:3–4)

We began with a passage that shapes this entire conversation:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort…”

Brenda Pace shared how this passage has shaped her understanding of God—not just as distant or powerful, but as deeply personal and present.

She explained that the word comfort in this passage comes from the Greek word paraklesis, which means far more than emotional soothing.

It means:

Encouragement
Strengthening
Coming alongside someone in difficulty

“When I read that verse, I see God’s active and sustaining presence in the midst of hardship.”

This reframes everything.

Comfort is not passive.
It is not abstract.
It is God actively drawing near.

But this truth isn’t always easy for us to receive.

For some, this idea of God as a comforting Father doesn’t come easily. Depending on our experiences with parents or authority figures, we may not naturally associate God with comfort.

This passage invites us to see God as He truly is:

Compassionate
Near
Personally attentive to our needs

And sometimes, receiving comfort begins with simply asking:

“Lord, help me see You as You really are.”

Once we begin to see comfort this way, it opens our eyes to recognize how God meets us in very real, everyday ways.

How the Holy Spirit Brings Comfort in Real Life

One of the most powerful parts of this conversation was hearing how God’s comfort showed up in a very tangible season.

Brenda shared about a time when her husband was deployed at the beginning of the Iraq War—a season filled with uncertainty and fear.

In response, she did something simple:

She bought a comforter.

“I went out and bought the fluffiest, most cozy comforter for my bed… and that space became where I met with God.”

Night after night, that place became a space where she:

Read Scripture
Listened to sermons
Received difficult news
Experienced God’s presence

And over time, she realized something deeper:

“That comforter was cozy, but that wasn’t where the true comfort was… it was God’s sustaining presence.”

What began as physical comfort became a picture of something far greater—God Himself drawing near.

God’s Comfort Is Sustaining, Not Just Immediate

Another moment that stood out was a simple but powerful image.

While playing the piano, Brenda pressed the sustain pedal—and suddenly understood what God was doing in her life.

“Just like that pedal sustains the note, this is what God is doing for me right now.”

That is the nature of God’s comfort.

It doesn’t always remove the pressure.
It sustains you within it.

This aligns with what we see throughout Scripture:

God strengthens weary souls
He steadies us when life feels unstable
He sustains what we cannot

We began with a passage that shapes this entire conversation:

How the Holy Spirit Uses Truth to Comfort You (John 14:26)

Jesus gave this promise to His disciples:

“But the Comforter, even the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said unto you.” (John 14:26 ASV)

In moments when life feels uncertain, the Holy Spirit does not leave us to figure things out on our own. He teaches us, reminds us, and brings truth back to mind—often right when we need it most.

As Brenda shared:

“Truth anchors us when circumstances are unstable… His truth steadies my faith.”

This matters because our perspective is easily shaped by what we’re feeling. Fear can distort what we see, grief can cloud our thinking, and anxiety can amplify uncertainty until it feels overwhelming.

But truth has a way of gently bringing us back to what is real.

It steadies our hearts and re-centers our thinking, reminding us of what has not changed:

God is present
God is faithful
God has not abandoned us

And as Brenda so simply put it:

“Truth produces hope.”

As we receive that kind of comfort, something unexpected begins to happen—it doesn’t stop with us.

When the Holy Spirit Reminds You Who You Are

Sometimes the deepest comfort doesn’t come from changed circumstances.

It comes from changed perspective.

In our conversation, I reflected on how the Holy Spirit reminds us of what is most true about us.

Who we are in Christ
What is secure about our future
What cannot be taken from us

Because what is spiritually true about us is what is most true about us.

And in moments of failure, fear, or discouragement, that truth becomes a powerful source of comfort—and hope.

Even when everything around us feels uncertain, these truths steady our souls.

Why God Comforts You So You Can Comfort Others

One of the most powerful truths in 2 Corinthians 1 is this: God comforts us so that we can comfort others.

That “so that” changes everything.

“The comfort we receive is not meant to remain private… it becomes a resource of ministry.”–Brenda Pace

In other words: Your hardest seasons are not wasted.

They become:

A source of empathy
A place of connection
A way to come alongside others

I’ve seen this personally in my own life. Walking through seasons of caregiving and loss—especially caring for my sister during her battle with ALS—changed how I understand suffering and comfort.

There are some things you simply cannot fully understand until you’ve walked through them. And yet, those very places become the ones God uses most deeply.

What once felt like a test becomes part of your testimony. Our hardest seasons equip us to come alongside others with deep compassion.

Simple Ways to Experience God’s Comfort Daily

One of the most helpful parts of this conversation was how practical it became.

Brenda shared a simple truth:
“Comfort grows from awareness.”

Here are a few practices that can help you begin to notice God’s comfort:

1. Write Down What You Feel—and What Is True

Name your emotions honestly
Then ground your feelings with Scripture

2. Practice Noticing the Good

Write down 1–10 “good things” each day
Train your heart to recognize God’s presence

As Larissa shared in our conversation, this practice teaches us to become a “noticer of the good.”

It’s choosing to pay attention to what is:

True
Good
Already present

3. Create a Daily “God Hunt”

Look for small ways God is at work
Pay attention to ordinary moments

4. Slow Down Through Journaling

Capture thoughts, prayers, and Scripture
Allow space for God to speak

“It trains our hearts to recognize that God’s comfort often arrives in ordinary ways.”

When we begin to notice, we start to see that God’s comfort is showing up more often than we realized.

And as Larissa reminded us, when we feel prompted to reach out to someone—to send a text, offer encouragement, or pray—we can trust that God is often using those small acts as part of how He comforts others.

As we slow down and pay attention, something surprising happens—we begin to see more clearly.

How to Recognize God’s Comfort When You Don’t See It

During our conversation, I described this like a connect-the-dots page.

At first, all you see are scattered points. Nothing seems connected.
Nothing seems meaningful.

As you start connecting the dots—a picture begins to emerge. What once felt random begins to reveal something intentional. The more dots you connect, the clearer the picture becomes.

God’s comfort often works this way.

It’s not coincidence.
It’s not accidental.

It’s His presence, quietly at work.

What the Comfort of God Can Look Like in Everyday Life

Sometimes we expect comfort to be dramatic. But often, it’s quiet. Here are some ways the Holy Spirit may be comforting you—even now:

A deep, unexplainable peace
A timely word from a friend
A song that speaks directly to your heart
A Scripture that meets you exactly where you are
A shift in perspective that changes how you see your situation

“Those moments are not random… God is at work as our comforter.”–Brenda Pace

Sometimes, God’s comfort comes through people.

A timely message.
A thoughtful prayer.
An unexpected encouragement.

In our conversation, Larissa shared how even a simple text or prayer from a friend can become a moment of comfort—often arriving right when it’s needed most. And often, that begins with a simple prompting.

When you feel nudged to reach out, to encourage, or to pray for someone—pay attention. That may be the Holy Spirit inviting you to participate in how He comforts others. As Larissa reminded us, we’re not responsible for the outcome—we’re simply invited to be obedient.

Perhaps the most comforting truth of all is this: God’s presence is not dependent on your awareness of it.

But awareness does change your experience of it.

I’ve often thought of it like putting on glasses. When your vision is off, you don’t always realize what you’re missing. But the moment the prescription is corrected, everything comes into focus—the details, the clarity, what was there all along.

In the same way, practices like gratitude and noticing help us “see” more clearly. They don’t create God’s presence.

They reveal it.

And suddenly, what once felt ordinary begins to look like evidence of His nearness, His care, and His comfort in your life.

You Are Not Alone—Even When It Feels Like It

One of the clearest messages from this conversation is this:

You are not alone.

Even when:

You feel overwhelmed
You don’t understand what’s happening
You can’t see how things will resolve

The Holy Spirit is present with you—bringing the comfort of God into your life, even in places that feel uncertain or heavy.

And when we pause long enough to see it, we realize that this comfort is not random—it’s part of the way God has been with us all along.

Seeing the Bigger Picture

As we close this series, it’s helpful to step back and see the whole picture:

• The Holy Spirit guides us into truth
• The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness
• And the Holy Spirit comforts us in our suffering

This is not three separate works—it’s one beautiful expression of God’s presence in our lives.

A Prayer for the Comfort of the Holy Spirit

Father of compassion and God of all comfort, we come to you today aware that many hearts are carrying burdens. But I know that you see every sorrow, you know every anxious thought, you know every quiet grief that others may not notice. Nothing is hidden from your care. And so Lord today for those who feel overwhelmed,

I pray that you would draw near with your gentle presence. For those who are grieving, I ask that you would hold them in your mercy. For those who may feel alone today, I pray you would remind them that you have not left them. I pray, Lord, that your peace would settle troubled hearts and that your strength would steady weary souls. Teach us to receive your comfort. Teach us to receive the comfort you give and help us to become people who carry that comfort to others. May your compassion,

Lord, may it flow through our words, through our actions, through our prayers, Lord, through our presence. We trust you, you, the God of all comfort, to meet your people in every need. We pray this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.–Brenda Pace

A Final Word of Hope

If you are walking through a difficult season right now, start here:

Look for one small way God showed His kindness to you today.

Just one.

Write it down.
Notice it.
Receive it.

Because often, that is where comfort begins.

And over time, those small moments become something more:

A steady reminder that God is present.
A growing awareness of His faithfulness.
A deeper habit of hope.

And as you go into this week, remember:

The Holy Spirit doesn’t only guide you and help you—He comforts you with the presence of God.

Because hope isn’t just something we feel, it is the habit we can live.

About Brenda Pace

Dr. Brenda Pace is a speaker and author who encourages women and strengthens Christian community. She has written and contributed to several books, including the Journey of a Military Wife series, and serves in leadership roles with Planting Roots and the Church of God Chaplains Commission. She regularly speaks in churches and military settings around the world.

Resources & Links

Enjoy the Full Holy Spirit Series

71.How the Holy Spirit Guides You into Truth
72. How the Holy Spirit Helps Your Weakness
73. How the Holy Spirit Comforts You in Hard Times

Books by Brenda Pace:

- Journey of a Military Wife series
- The Yellow Ribbon Devotional
- Medals Above My Heart

How the Holy Spirit Helps You in Your Weakness (What the Bible Says)

Ginger Harrington — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 00:02:08 +0000

Discover how the Holy Spirit helps you in weakness—guiding your prayers, meeting your needs, and sustaining your hope through God’s steady, present help.

There are moments when life doesn’t feel dramatic or urgent—just heavy. Not overwhelming enough to call it a crisis. Not clear enough to know what to do next. Just tired. Uncertain. Weak in ways that don’t show on the outside. And in those moments, many of us quietly assume we should be able to handle things better by now.

We tell ourselves we should be stronger. More capable. Less affected. But Scripture speaks directly into that assumption.

When we hear the word help, we often imagine it as a backup plan—something we reach for after we’ve exhausted our own strength. Help becomes what we request when independence fails.

What a relief that Scripture doesn’t present help as a supplement to our competence. Scripture shows us about Holy Spirit help—God meeting us in our weakness with His presence.

It presents help as God’s nearness.

Not because we’ve tried hard enough.
Not because we’ve run out of options.
But because God knows our limits—and meets us there.

This post is part of a 3-part series on the Holy Spirit and His work in our lives:

How the Holy Spirit Guides You Into Truth
How the Holy Spirit Helps You in Your Weakness
How the Holy Spirit Comforts You in Hard Seasons (next week)

What Did Jesus Mean by “Helper”?

Before we talk about what help looks like, it’s important to hear how Jesus Himself introduced the Holy Spirit.

In John 14:16–17, Jesus says:

“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever… the Spirit of truth… you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.”

This is not a small promise.

The Helper is:

A gift given by the Father, not something we earn
With us forever, not temporary or conditional
Abiding with us and in us, not distant or external

God’s help is not something we summon—it is Someone who abides with us.

And this reframes everything.

Help is not something we achieve by doing life well. It is something we receive because God is near.

When Needing Help Feels Like Weakness

In the world around us, needing help is often seen as:

Weakness
Inadequacy
Lack of qualification

It can feel uncomfortable—even exposing—to admit we need help.

But in God’s economy, the opposite is true.

The more we recognize our need, the more help we receive.

There is no shame in needing help from the Lord.

In fact, it is often the doorway into experiencing His presence more deeply.

How the Holy Spirit Helps You Pray When You Don’t Know How

Romans 8:26–27 says:

“The Spirit also helps our weakness… for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”

This meets us right where we live—because there are moments when we don’t know what to pray, what the right outcome is, or even what we truly need. Sometimes the situation is so confusing or overwhelming that all the options feel uncertain, and we are left without words.

And Scripture assumes that.

It assumes there will be times when we do not know how to pray.

But in that very place of uncertainty, we are not left alone. The Spirit knows what is in our hearts, He knows the will of God, and He intercedes for us in ways we cannot fully express.

Even when we cannot form the words, God is already at work.

When Prayer Feels Impossible

There are moments when even forming a sentence feels like too much.

You may want to pray—but feel completely unable to.

You may feel:

Emotionally exhausted
Spiritually dry
Mentally overwhelmed

And in those moments, it can feel like you are failing.

But Scripture tells a different story.

God’s will is not threatened by your lack of words.

Even when you struggle in prayer:

The Spirit is already interceding
The Spirit is already helping
The Spirit is already at work

This is not correction. It is provision.

Not: “You should be doing this better.”
But: “I know you need help—I am already helping you.”

Prayer Is Not a Performance

Many of us carry quiet pressure when it comes to prayer.

We wonder:

Am I saying the right thing?
Do I sound spiritual enough?
Am I doing this correctly?

Prayer is not a performance—it’s a conversation.

And sometimes, the most honest prayer looks like a pause: “Lord, I need help right now. Give me words.”

Even that is enough, because help in prayer is not based on your ability, but on God’s presence.

The Holy Spirit’s Help Is Received Not Earned

Hebrews 4:16 brings this truth into focus:

“Let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Notice what this invites us into.

We are not told to prove ourselves, fix ourselves, or prepare ourselves—we are invited to draw near and receive. Help is not something we achieve through effort; it is something we find in the presence of God.

And just as importantly, we are drawing near to a throne of grace, not a throne of scrutiny or judgment.

So when you feel unworthy, unprepared, or unsure, that is not a reason to stay away.

It is the very reason to come.

When You Feel Like You Don’t Deserve Help

There are moments when you may hesitate to come to God.

You may think:

I’ve messed up too much
I should have known better
Why would God want to hear from me right now?

It’s important to embrace the truth that Hebrews 4:16 is an invitation and an instruction.

“Let us draw near with confidence.”

So you can come with it all:

Your mistakes and regrets
Your unmet expectations and question
Your anger and your pain

Do not let these things keep you at a distance.

Because God’s help is not reserved for when you have it all together. It is given in your time of need.

**God Is Your Helper**

Psalm 54:4 says:

“Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my soul.”

This is not abstract—it is deeply personal.

God is not just a helper—He is your helper, and His help is not occasional or situational. He is the sustainer of your soul, which means His help is ongoing, steady, and present in every moment, not just in times of crisis.

There are days when your soul feels dry:

No motivation
No clarity
No strength

And in those moments, when you do not have what you need to keep going,

God sustains what you cannot.

When You Don’t See God’s Help Right Away

Sometimes, you can look back and clearly see how God helped you.

Other times, you are in the middle of it and you don’t see anything yet.

This can be really discouraging to say the least.

But God’s help is not limited to what you can see.

He may be protecting you in ways you don’t recognize
He may be working ahead of you
He may be sustaining you quietly

God’s help is not occasional intervention—it is a sustaining presence.

God’s Help When Anxiety Rises

Isaiah 41:10 says:

“Do not fear, for I am with you… I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you…”

Notice how many times God repeats Himself:

I am with you
I will strengthen you
I will help you
I will uphold you

This is not uncertain language.

This is promise.

And this promise becomes especially powerful when anxiety rises.

Because in those moments, it’s easy to look around for solutions.

But this verse gently redirects us:

“Do not anxiously look around you… I am your God.”

God’s help does not depend on your ability to stay steady.

He is the one holding you steady.

A Habit of Hope

The habit we are practicing is simple—but deeply countercultural:

Release the habit of carrying things alone and rest in the reality of God’s help.

So often, we carry things as if it all depends on us:

Figuring it out
Holding it together
Finding the right answers

But God’s help was never meant to be a last resort.

It is meant to be our starting place.

And part of releasing what we were never meant to carry is learning how to think differently in the middle of need.

Take Doubt Out of the Conversation

There is a powerful shift that happens when you choose to believe what God has already said.

Instead of thinking:

Maybe God won’t help me
Maybe I just need to try harder

You begin to say:“Lord, I believe You are my help. Help me see it.”

This is not ignoring reality.
It is anchoring yourself in truth.

Scripture says God is:

Your helper
Your refuge
A very present help in trouble

Will you let doubt define the conversation…
or will you let truth lead it?

Because when you take doubt out of the conversation, something shifts.

You stop striving to prove your strength…and start resting in God’s presence.

God Is a Very Present Help in Trouble

Psalm 46:1 says:

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

This is not a distant promise or a future possibility—it is a present reality.

God does not say He might help, or that He will help eventually. He says He is a very present help, right in the middle of trouble, not just after it passes.

And that matters, because trouble is not avoided or minimized in Scripture—it is acknowledged as part of life. Yet in the midst of it, God’s presence is not reduced or delayed.

He is near, active, and already at work.

When Help Doesn’t Look Like What You Wanted

Sometimes God’s help does not look like the outcome we hoped for, the timing we expected, or the resolution we imagined.

Instead, His help often meets us in a deeper way—by sustaining us within the very circumstances we wish would change. While we tend to focus on what is right in front of us, God is working with a much broader perspective, shaping not only the situation but also our hearts within it.

And in that place, His help is not absent—it is active, steady, and sufficient for what we are walking through.

A Real Picture of God’s Help

There are moments in life where you can see this clearly.

Moments when:

You had no strength
No clarity
No ability to hold yourself together

And yet—you were held.

There are times when God gives:

Strength you did not have
Joy that has no visible source
Peace that does not match your circumstances

Not because everything is fixed…

but because He is present.

The Connection Between Help and Hope

All of this leads to one steady truth:

Hope is not built on clarity—it is sustained by presence.

You do not have to:

Understand everything
See how it will work out
Have the answers

Because even when you feel:

Unsure
Tired
Wordless
Out of options

God is actively at work on your behalf.

He is not waiting for you to get it right.

He is not standing at a distance.

He is present. Helping. Interceding.

Practical Ways to Rest in God’s Help

These are not steps to make God act.

They are ways to respond to the help He has already given.

1. Ask the Holy Spirit to Help You Pray

When you don’t have words, say so.

Silence and sighs are not prayer failures.

2. Draw Near with Confidence

Not because everything is resolved…

but because help is promised in your need.

3. Remind Yourself: “God Is My Helper”

When you feel overwhelmed:

“Lord, You are my helper.”

4. Remember God Is with You

Especially when anxiety rises.

Even if fear doesn’t disappear right away.

5. Rest in God as Your Refuge

When life feels unsettled:

You are held, even when nothing feels stable.

Ask for Help in the Moment

Simple prayers like:

“Lord, help me love right now.”
“Help me respond with wisdom.”
“Help me experience Your peace.”

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean that the Holy Spirit helps us?

It means God meets you in your weakness. The Holy Spirit actively intercedes, guides, and strengthens you—even when you don’t know what to do.

What if I don’t know how to pray?

That is exactly when the Spirit helps. Scripture says He intercedes for you when you don’t have the words.

Does God only help when I ask?

No. The Spirit helps your weakness—even when you don’t think to ask. He is already at work.

Why doesn’t God’s help always change my situation?

Because sometimes His help is not about changing your circumstances—but sustaining you within them.

How can I trust God is helping when I don’t feel it?

God’s help is based on His promise, not your feelings. He is a very present help—even when you don’t feel it.

A Final Word of Encouragement

God has not left you to figure things out on your own.

He has not asked you to carry your weakness by yourself, nor has He stepped back to see how well you can manage it. Instead, He has given you His Spirit—present, helping, interceding, and actively at work on your behalf.

You are not failing at faith because you feel needy.

In many ways, need is the very place where we begin to recognize God’s help most clearly, not because everything suddenly changes, but because we become more aware of His presence within it.

And as you release the habit of carrying things alone and begin to rest in the reality of His help,

you may discover that hope has been holding you all along.

If you want a quiet way to practice this—learning to draw near, notice God’s presence, and receive grace for each day—you might begin with a simple rhythm of reflection and prayer.

Not striving.
Not performing.

Just receiving what God has already given.

About the Author

Ginger Harrington is the host of the Habits of Hope Podcast and creator of resources designed to help you build rhythms of faith for everyday life. Through her writing, speaking, and teaching, she encourages women to grow deeper in hope, resilience, and spiritual formation—one small habit at a time.

How the Holy Spirit Guides You Into Truth (What the Bible Says)

Ginger Harrington — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 00:01:13 +0000

What does the Bible say about Holy Spirit guidance? Learn how the Spirit guides believers into truth, conviction, wisdom, and hope.

Have you ever wanted God’s guidance and felt unsure what that is supposed to look like?

Not because you doubt that God leads, but because the conversation around guidance can sometimes become confusing—especially when personal stories, methods, and expectations add to the uncertainty rather than bring clarity.

So instead of beginning with experiences, we start with a better question:

What does Scripture plainly say about Holy Spirit guidance and how the Spirit leads believers into truth?

That’s the question we explore in this episode of the Habits of Hope Podcast.

And the place to begin is with the words of Jesus Himself.

What Is Holy Spirit Guidance?

Holy Spirit guidance is the work of the Spirit of truth, helping believers understand Scripture, recognize what is true, grow in wisdom, and walk in alignment with Christ.

This guidance is not about discovering secret information or following a formula. The Holy Spirit leads believers into truth by illuminating God’s Word, bringing conviction, confirming our identity in Christ, and giving wisdom for everyday life.

What Does the Bible Say About Holy Spirit Guidance?

One of the clearest promises about the Spirit’s guidance comes from Jesus in John 16.

“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth.”
— John 16:13

Jesus calls the Holy Spirit the Spirit of truth.

This sets the foundation for understanding how the Spirit guides believers. The Spirit’s guidance is not centered on circumstances, feelings, or techniques. It is centered on truth.

The Spirit speaks what He receives from the Father and reveals what is true. His guidance is always aligned with God’s character and God’s Word.

The Holy Spirit’s guidance is always anchored in truth, never detached from it.

In a culture where people often speak about “your truth” or “my truth,” Scripture reminds us that truth is not defined by personal perspective. Truth is grounded in God Himself.

And when we understand that the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth, we can trust Him to help us understand what is real and reliable.

Habit of Hope

Trust the Holy Spirit to guide you into truth.

Often, when we seek guidance, we immediately try to solve the problem ourselves. We analyze the situation, replay scenarios in our minds, or search for the perfect answer.

But Scripture points us toward a different starting point: trust.

Instead of striving to figure everything out first, we begin by acknowledging that the Spirit of truth is already at work—guiding, teaching, and revealing what is true in God’s time.

One practical way this trust shows up is learning to rely on the Spirit’s guidance before relying on our own understanding.

Guidance Begins with Trust Rather Than Understanding

One of the most familiar verses about guidance is Proverbs 3:5–6:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

This passage reminds us that God guides us into truth by leading us onto the straight path He intends for us. But notice where the verse begins: trust. Guidance doesn’t start with figuring everything out. It begins with trusting God rather than leaning on our own understanding.

If I’m honest, when I come to God asking for guidance, I’m usually looking for a solution. I want to decide, fix something, or solve a problem. And certainly, God’s guidance helps us with those things.

Guidance is not something we manufacture through effort or achieve by becoming smart enough or spiritual enough to hear God correctly. Scripture presents guidance as something the Spirit provides..

God does invite our participation in the process, but ultimately, guidance is something the Spirit does. And that means we can trust Him to guide us—even when discernment feels difficult. There will be days when our thinking feels tangled, when we’re not quite sure what God is doing, or when we simply don’t understand.

Yet even then, we have a Father who understands us and a Holy Spirit who is with us.

We are not trying to figure life out alone.

How Does the Holy Spirit Teach Believers Truth?

Another way the Holy Spirit guides believers is by teaching them truth that comes from God, rather than from human wisdom.

“Which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit.”
— 1 Corinthians 2:13

Scripture makes a clear distinction between human wisdom and truth taught by the Spirit.

Human wisdom can accumulate knowledge, information, and opinions. But the Spirit teaches truth in a different way.

Spirit-taught truth is received, not achieved.

In other words, spiritual understanding is not something we manufacture through effort. It is something God reveals.

Sometimes we can read Scripture simply as information—knowing the facts but remaining unchanged.However, when the Holy Spirit teaches us, truth moves deeper than information. It reaches the heart. It shapes how we think, how we grow, and how we respond to God.

How Does the Holy Spirit Reveal What God Has Given Us?

Scripture also tells us that the Holy Spirit brings clarity by revealing what God has already given to us.

“Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.”
— 1 Corinthians 2:12

This is such a beautiful reminder of the Spirit’s role. The Holy Spirit reminds us what God has already given us.

We can read the information in Scripture, but learning to believe it, live in it, and walk in it happens as the Spirit gives revelation, wisdom, and understanding.

There is often a gap between what we know in our heads and what we truly understand in our hearts. That distance may only be a few inches, but it can make a profound difference in how we live. The Holy Spirit bridges that gap.

This is one reason it is so important to spend time in Scripture. When we study God’s Word, we put tools into the toolbox.

Then the Holy Spirit helps us understand how to use those tools. He brings truth to mind, helps us recognize when we need it, and shows us how it applies to our lives.

The Spirit also reveals what God has already given us in Christ:

Salvation through Christ and new life in Him — something we receive by grace, not something we earn.
Truth and understanding about God — the Spirit reveals what is true about God, Christ, and our standing before Him.
Identity in Christ — understanding who we are in Christ and learning to live from that identity.
Access to God through Jesus — nearness to God is a gift we receive, not something we achieve.

These truths are not things we must earn or accomplish–they are things God has already given. Through guidance, the Holy Spirit helps us recognize them, understand them, and grow into them over time.

The Spirit gives wisdom and understanding as we grow in our relationship with Christ. We may not understand everything immediately, but we can trust that the Holy Spirit will continue to teach and reveal truth as we walk with Him.

How the Holy Spirit Guides Through Conviction

Another way the Holy Spirit guides believers is through conviction.

“And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.”
— John 16:8

When we hear the word convict, we often think about a legal process—someone being convicted of a crime. In Scripture, the meaning is broader, including the ideas of exposing, refuting, or convincing.

The Holy Spirit brings truth to light.

Sometimes He convicts us of sin. He also reminds us of righteousness—what is true about God and about who we are in Christ.

One way to understand this is that sin reveals the truth about our human condition, while righteousness reveals the truth about God. And when the Spirit convicts us, He is helping us see clearly what is true.

For example, one morning during my quiet time, I read a passage that included the phrase, “Be angry and do not sin.” The words seemed to jump off the page. I paused and began asking the Lord what He wanted me to understand about anger in that moment.

At first, I assumed there was a problem with sinful anger in my life. As I continued to reflect on it over the following weeks, another layer became clear.

Sometimes anger itself is not the issue.

Sometimes the issue is avoiding something that needs to be addressed.

I tend to avoid conflict, and it was as if the Spirit was gently showing me that there was a situation in my life that needed to be addressed—but it needed to be done in a godly way rather than a sinful one.

This is one way the Holy Spirit guides us: by bringing truth to the surface and helping us respond to it.

Conviction is not the same thing as condemnation.

Scripture reminds us in Romans 8:1 that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.

When the Holy Spirit convicts us, it moves us toward repentance and growth. It helps us see truth clearly so we can bring things before God honestly and move forward in our spiritual life.

Condemnation, on the other hand, sounds very different.

Condemnation says things like:

“You’ll never change.”
“You messed up again.”
“You’re hopeless.”

The Holy Spirit does not speak that way.

One of the reasons God gives us the Holy Spirit is so we can learn to recognize the difference between those voices and discern what is truly from Him.

The Spirit Bears Witness to Truth

Another way the Holy Spirit guides believers is by bearing witness to who we are in Christ.

“The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God.”
— Romans 8:16

The Spirit bears witness to truth and identity.

He reminds us that we belong to God. He confirms that we are loved, forgiven, and saved by grace. He continually points us back to what is true about Christ and about our relationship with Him.

Jesus also described this work of the Spirit.

“He will testify about Me.”
— John 15:26

The Holy Spirit’s guidance always centers on Christ. The Spirit’s witness confirms truth rather than competing with it.

This means that when the Spirit is guiding us, He is helping us understand Jesus more clearly, trust Him more deeply, and live in the reality of who we are in Him.

Being Led by the Spirit Is an Ongoing Relationship

Another key verse on guidance appears in Romans.

“For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.”
— Romans 8:14

Being led by the Spirit is not a one-time experience. It is an ongoing relationship.

Scripture describes believers as children who are led by the Spirit rather than performers trying to earn approval.

We are led as children, not driven as performers.

This is freeing, especially for believers who have been shaped by performance-driven faith.

The Spirit’s leadership is relational, not forced. We can respond to His guidance, grow in discernment, and learn over time to keep in step with the Spirit.

How the Holy Spirit Guides Us Through Wisdom and Revelation

Scripture also connects the guidance of the Holy Spirit with wisdom.

In Ephesians 1, Paul prays a beautiful prayer for believers:

“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.”
— Ephesians 1:17

Wisdom flows from knowing God.

The Holy Spirit gives wisdom and revelation as we grow in our knowledge of Him. Guidance is not simply about receiving instructions for decisions. It is about deepening our relationship with God.

Paul continues this prayer with an even more remarkable request. He asks that the eyes of our hearts be enlightened so that we can understand what God has already given to us.

the hope of God’s calling
the richness of what belongs to us in Christ
the greatness of God’s power at work in those who believe

Paul asks the Spirit to open our eyes to the reality of what God has already done and what already belongs to us in Christ. This is part of how the Holy Spirit guides us. The Spirit’s work of wisdom and revelation does more than give us information. It opens our understanding to what is true.

And as our understanding deepens, something else grows as well.

Hope grows.

When the Spirit enlightens our hearts, we begin to recognize the hope of God’s calling, the richness of what we have received, and the power of God at work within us.

Guidance, then, is not primarily about finding perfect certainty.

It is about growing in our understanding of God and learning to trust Him more deeply over time.

What Does Holy Spirit Guidance Look Like in Everyday Life

The Spirit’s guidance often appears in quiet, practical ways.

It might look like:

Scripture coming to mind and steadying your thoughts in moments of stress or confusion.
Recognizing what is right in a confusing situation, not because of pressure but because clarity emerges.
Becoming more secure in your identity as a child of God and learning to live from that identity.
Hope returning as your understanding of God deepens in a difficult situation.
Wisdom in conversations, trusting the Spirit to guide your words and responses.
Conviction that reveals truth, helping you recognize sin or respond in a godly way.
Insight while reading Scripture, when a verse seems to stand out and invite reflection.
A wise or godly thought that comes to mind, prompting a next step aligned with truth.

When these moments lead you back to truth and hope, you are experiencing the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

The Spirit guides us into truth—and truth leads us into hope.

How Can We Practice Trusting the Holy Spirit’s Guidance?

Consider three simple ways to practice trusting the Spirit’s guidance.

Begin with trust: Pause and acknowledge that the Spirit of truth is already at work guiding you.
Return to what Scripture makes clear: Instead of replaying uncertainty, anchor your thoughts in God’s Word.
Ask for open eyes over perfect solutions: Like Paul’s prayer in Ephesians, ask God to enlighten your heart so you can see the hope that is already yours in Christ.

When we trust the Holy Spirit to guide us into truth, something remarkable happens.

Our understanding deepens.
Our confidence grows.
Our hope becomes steadier.

Hope is not something we manufacture by solving every problem. It grows as we experience the Holy Spirit’s faithful guidance.

Because when the Holy Spirit guides us into truth, we begin to recognize the hope that is already ours in Christ.

A Prayer Guide for Seeking God’s Guidance

When you’re seeking God’s direction, prayer is the place to begin.
Download my Pray for God’s Guidance PDF—a simple resource to help you ask for wisdom, discernment, and clarity as you follow the Spirit’s leading.

Get your free copy and begin praying for God’s guidance today.

Ginger Harrington

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