Yeah, NEWSFLASH: Not motivating. I don’t know about other girls but I’m more motivated by a new pair of pink Nike booty shorts, the kinds that don’t ride up when I deadlift. I put these on and all of a sudden I get it in my head that I’m a flyer for the Dallas Cowboys cheer squad. Oh, wait, they just dance… in booty shorts. Still more motivating than those don’t-tell-ME-what-to-do Pinterest posters.

Other things I find motivating on this fine Tuesday morning: Burgers, Akinwale’s outlook on women and muscles, and Indie tunes to lift to. So for Tunes Tuesday, here’s what I’m warming up and lifting to:

The Warmup:

Conditioning:

Lifting:

And the COOL DOWN. Yes.

What’s on YOUR iPod? Sharing is caring.

So, last year we had a couple of extra bones to spare coupled with an Oprah-aha moment and I soon found myself signed up for an Avalanche Level I course with the Colorado Mountain School because I’m a (nerdy) girl that likes to be FULLY aware of the risks so that I can make my own decisions. And I want experts to teach me those risks. I’m That Girl on a plane that will turn to you and say, “Just so you know, the possibility of a plane crash does exists in which case we will most likely die. However, statistically, flying is safer than driving and it cuts your travel time in half!! These are cool seatbelts.” I said that once to my sister before a 13 hours flight to Guam. She started bawling. The flight attendant was, like, “Oh honey! Can I get you some water?”

At Colorado Mountain School, we were guided and taught by Senior Guide Mike Soucy (I like to think that’s pronounced “SAUCE-EE.”) And that class was, like, “Just so you know, the possiblity of an avalance does exist in which case you will most likely die if someone doesn’t find you in 15 minutes. However, we will show you ways to minimize your risk by analyzing snow packs and reading avalanche terrain. We will also show you how to shovel efficiently to cut down your rescue shoveling time. These are cool transceivers.” In other words, they were speaking my language!

Flash forward a year and I now find myself not only snowboarding more but also learning a new (although somewhat similar) sport and the long-winded point I’m trying to make here is… I see where incorporating functional movements into my workouts is paying off! You know those “@$$ to grass” movements like squats – they are most  helpful when you fall and need to get back up on skis.

And though my fall-get-back-up splitboarding movements aren’t exactly like my CrossFit movements, the similarities are indeed uncanny.

Lunges:

Squats:

Turkish Get Ups:

Pistols! (Oh, and before I get comments like “I can tell you didn’t shave your legs in this photo,” let me beat you to the punch and say, “The 15 minutes I’ve saved by no longer shaving my legs every time I shower has allowed me extra time to practice my pistols so things even out. And, also, Honey Badger don’t care.” Don’t be like this douchebag.)

But the most functional movement of all? Dancing. As someone who CrossFits, I will say there is a pervasive “too-elite-for-a-90-minute-Zumba-session” mentality. Like my stepmom used to say, “Girl, don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.” Don’t be an Elitist. Try Zumba. And if there aren’t any classes near you, try the next best thing: Dance Central on XBox Kinect. If you can score over 550,000 points with 80% accuracy on level Medium of Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance” then you are my idol and I am way too competitive when it comes to this game!!

Seriously, though, I’m shamelessly admitting I rearrange my livingroom on my days off so that I can play Dance Central.

But, above all, just have fun with fitness. And get outside and try something new – it’s refreshing, even if you do fall 100 times learning the technique. <– Been there, done that, no regrets!! You’d be surprised how much skill transfer there is from your workouts to your sports.

And on that note, I’m packing my board and my Zumba moves for  a quickie Steamboat trip tomorrow. They got 24″ of snow last night. I’m about to get drunk off Champagne Powder.

-j

I have to be honest: I don’t love box jumps. I don’t. I get frustrated when I fail to get in a jumping rhythm by my third consecutive jump. But, I do love how it gets my heart rate up faster than a cheetah on crack. Plus, the movement transfers well to my sports and it gives the equivalent of a Brazilian bedonkadonk lift.

I can’t take full credit for this DIY. It was inspired by a variety of plans floating around the interweb, like this one HERE. This plan is nothing new, I’ve just merely tried to put it in an easily understandable format. There are two versions of the plyo, the rectangular type that can be turned on different sides for different heights, or the “tapered” kind I have here. The rectangular kinds are a bit more bulky, heavier, and less structurally sound (so I hear) but they are easier to build. The type featured here requires beveling for a structurally sound plyo box and it’s easier to handle (although it cannot be used at varying heights.) Special thanks to this guy for all the help and advice.

(Here is the usual disclaimer. DIY at your own risk. I am not responsible for any injuries (or death?) acquired by following the content of this post.) Now, let’s DO THIS!!

(Download the printable PDF of materials and equipment here.) Materials and equipment needed:

I recommend using a table saw for this project. I don’t have the garage space for a table saw (or the liberal budget) but I was able to rent one from a community tool library. You can search Tool Libraries in your state here. Boulder, CO has an awesome one that we frequent.

DIRECTIONS:

1. Set your saw blade at a 10 degree angle and cut your sheet of plywood along the horizontal midline (refer to diagram below.)
2. Now bevel cut, at the same 10 degree angle, the remaining long edges (corresponding to the tops and bottoms of each piece.) NOTE: Bevel cut each edge at the same angle and same perspective. If you mess this part up, you’re screwed.

3.  Reset your blade back to 90 degrees (straight up and down) and make the cuts for the sides of each piece. You should now have 4 sides of your box with ONLY the top and bottom edges beveled.

4. Use a jigsaw to drill holes for handles, if desired.

5. Now that we have all four sides of our plyo box, assemble it.  Make sure you are on a level surface and using some clamps, ensure that the sides fit snugly together.  (If they don’t, now is the time to sand off any parts that are keeping it from fitting tightly.) Place a bead of wood glue along the two edges that are to be joined and glue the sides together.

6. Predrill your holes with the 3/8” wood drill bit. You’ll want to predrill so that the plywood does not split when you screw the sides together.

7. Using the wood screws, screw into the predrilled holes until tight (don’t overtighten or the wood may split.)

8. Continue for all sides of the remaining pieces.

9. Now we can cut out the top. I saved this part for last to ensure that I get an exact size for the top and that the box is stable enough. Flip the partially completed box upside down on the remaining sheet of plywood.  Trace out the size and shape of the top.

10. Set the blade angle back to 10 degrees and cut out the top. Make sure your saw blade is cutting “into” the wood while you follow your drawn lines so that the edges of the top slant inward.

11. Assemble the top by placing a bead of wood glue around the edge where it will contact the sides and glue the top to the box.

12. Using the 3/8″ drill bit, pre-drill at least 3 holes on each side and screw the top in place with wood screws.

13. Sand it down with a sander! Pay special attention to all the edges and the handles unless you like splinters.

14. You can now varnish or paint your plyo box and even place a rubber mat on the top.

Done! Jump around! Jump around! Jump up, jump up, and get down.

-jess

At any rate, I’ve been doing none of that because, not only do I not own a nas-car or a horse or the other talent required for those sports, but I’ve also been on this “let’s focus on my mental well-being” kick. ‘Cause how can I be physically fit if my mind isn’t in the “let’s get physical, physical” game? And while I’ve THOROUGHLY enjoyed my recent foray into relaxation (hello, where did this extra 5 pounds come from??), I’m looking forward to buckling back down with my barbell – especially since I’ve just recently discovered cellulite under my butt cheek. Cellulite: It Happens.

^^ In addition to all that and a bag of chips (literally) here are some other stuff that happened:

We recently rented a lake front cabin up near Granby Lake, CO.  The view from the deck was better than the view of Ryan Lochte in a speedo at the Summer 2012 Olympics:

I got to live out my dream of “sipping black coffee while wearing flannel and watching the sunrise from the deck of a cabin.” No joke – those were the exact words I told my husband when he asked me my vision of a relaxing weekend. And holy smokes, he made it happen:

It was at the cabin that I learned how AMAZING it feels to sleep 9+ hours a night. I was like a Redneckaleptic – I slept everywhere including in front of the fire with my dogs:

I also spent an afternoon at Hot Sulphur Springs, CO! My hair smelled like dinosaur eggs for days but it was totally worth soaking in 31 minerals naturally heated from deep within the earth. Wow, I just totally sounded like a hippie right there. The water was so blue!

And when something is good, why change it? So, last week we rented ANOTHER cabin at this cool Colorado town:

There is this performing arts camp up in the mountains there called “Perry Mansfield”. And, well, in the cold winter months I guess the kids don’t feel much like performing the arts so… this company, Pioneer Ridge, rents out the TV-less, internet-less cabins to vacationers.

We ventured out of the cabin for some BBQ, books at the local bookshop, and backcountry splitboarding. I was pretty glad to be away from the crowds at resorts and out in the middle of nowhere especially since I had a tendency to yell, “My calves! My glutes, my glutes are on fire.” I don’t what it is about this sport but it makes me SO HUNGRY I could eat an elephant… or a cookies and cream milkshake. The kind you get from a drive-thru, not the kind that brings all the boys to the yard. (So this is how the cellulite happened. Suddenly everything is making sense.)

My favorite part of last week was soaking at Strawberry Park Hot Springs. In fact, this whole trip to Steamboat came about after I pinned a link to Strawberry Park from Pinterest. Don’t join Pinterest – it’s an addiction you’ll never beat especially once you discover pictures of food. I have a thing against spas. Watch a few episodes of anything on MTV and you’ll understand why. The thought of splishy splashing around in water with temps conducive to harboring bacteria is not my idea of living on the edge. But these springs are continuously flowing from underground to one hot pool to another so somehow it made it seem okay. Plus, I know of no other place where you can soak in hot springs while watching the sunset and being surrounded by snow.

It was honestly all that I needed to reset and get back in the swing of things. Out there it felt like I had my priorities straight: Family and the Outdoors and my crazy dogs!! (Don’t let that expression of Rogue fool you – she wasn’t cold. That’s not snow on her face, it’s cocaine.)

Now that I’m all relaxed up, I can focus on training for that 4-minute mile sprint. Or maybe I’ll just start with a healthy breakfast, getting back under the barbell, and tackling the 400+ work emails that I’m sure has accumulated in my inbox after a week of no internet.

© Jessica Camacho | Girl Walks Into A Bar(bell)

QUICK! Someone hand me a microphone ’cause I’m about to get all Gloria Gaylord up in here with “I will survive! I will survive! Hey, heyyyy!”

I’m not going to lie… it’s been a tough few months for me what with life experiences and all. And to top it all off, I was getting a lot of input on what I should be doing, what I should be avoiding, what I’m good at, what I’m not good at, what others need from me, what others expect from me, when to do what, how to do what, when and how to do what.  Everyone that knows me knows I thrive on structure, I appreciate order, and I’ll be the first to admit: I am not resilient to change or chaos. So when my world starts getting outta-control-crazy, with a lot of input from others that have NO idea what I’m going through, I turn into one of those perfect personalities that would qualify for a Rorschach! Needless to say, I had to call a “TIME OUT!” I had to ruthlessly edit my life not just of things bringing me down, but also of things not bringing me up.

And for a while there, I HAD to edit out blogging. Because, let’s be honest, I suck at blogging during times of peril. And, really, who would want to read a depressing blog about “blah blah blah, me me me, sad sad sad, whine whine whine.” I think the peak of my stress was around the time I was 100% convinced I would be seeing my dad for the last time. He lives 6,627 miles away on the island of Guam and we see each other once every 7-10 years. And he’s sick. Not like *cough cough* sick with a cold but sick like diabetes, clogged arteries, and masses found in his gastrointestinal tract.

This is the look of a girl who just picked herself up off the bathroom floor (after experiencing her first full blown panic attack) to hug her dad goodbye for possibly the last time before she is rushed to the airport:

Hurt, anger, guilt, fear, sadness, with maybe a dash of depression… I was dealing with it all while simultaneously balancing a new job, a marriage, and a psycho rescue dog. And the guilt! Ohh, the guilt I carried with me back home was just awful. The fact that I know all this health and wellness and fitness info but didn’t help my dad in time was genuinely heart wrenching. Between that and all the other things I was balancing in my life, I was SO STRESSED that I actually experienced alopecia areata – in other words I GOT A BALD SPOT! But as indicated by the newly grown 3″ of hair sprouts sticking up, I’m back on the up and up. I write this not for pity but as my way of saying, “If you’re experiencing monumental life stressors, take some time for YOURSELF.”  Know that this period of stress will offer a good frame of reference for future occurrences. Know that, at the end of it all, you’ll realize strengths you never knew you had.

(And know that it’s totally okay if you get derailed off your workout routine ’cause your trusty barbell will be waiting right where you left it. And as “I Will Survive” blasts through the iPod speakers, you’ll realize that life is like a loaded barbell – you pick it up, it drops back down, you pick it up again. Getting stronger every day!)