Hello, I am Cynthia born and base in Pakistan, a master degree holder in Political science From Kinnaird College for Women –A Social Worker, Self independent, determined, ambitious, south Asian women with long hairs and black eyes besides that I love to dance and expressing my inner thoughts through writings. But From my Childhood I dreamed to become a teacher but that wish wouldn’t complete because of my speech disorder.
People born with a cleft have speech difficulties so I have that too well this is part of my life is extra and most crucial one; this can affect the sound of the voice and therefore affect social interactions. This speech issue always creates a problem in my communication with other. The situation I am going through since I was born is hard to explained that how its impact on my Schooling, University, Career and Relationship.

My school years, I think always a bit stressful, it was just a, a kind of discovery for me that I do not speak properly and people staring at me like I may be not a human being. But I think certainly the cleft nose and lips, didn’t sojourn me to do or think anything I dream off.

I am just conscious about how i look and sound and I think it’s really a prime thing you do in your teenager, when you went to a university and had quite odd sort of years.

Somehow I complete my BS Program and start searching for a good job, but the pressure of family to get marry is on other side but I am getting more stressful for not getting a job because of my look and speech/Sound. I got interview calls/Emails from outstanding institution of Pakistan but on the day of interview I attained rejection. For more than 2 years I gave several interviews.

Sometime conversation with the interviewer is become very hard-hitting because of my sound, looks, that his unfortunate appearance made me hesitate in front of her/him and I lost my confidence to speak properly ignoring the flaw in me.

All of that I spent my all those year in searching online job and start writing. My articles, Blogs on social issues and humans Rights which is of course Freelance also done some work in the field of research as a field researcher. In a meantime my heart felts for humanity and I start doing voluntary work with different NGOs not for money but to make my soul gratify that I am contributing towards country. In a period of 3 years I penned many Blogs and chain of voluntary work. Continues my effort for studying too and did online courses and internships.

2018 March my father informed me that I got an interview call from ABC office which I applied last year. So I went for an interview it was quite interesting interview because my father is sitting right behind me and most of my questions were answered by my dad. Oh I love my dad!! This is because of him may be I finally get a job and I justify with the effort of my father to get this job by giving my best into this job. I am Assistant to Customer care Executive in an audit firm. Now I am self-independent woman even I have the flaws. With the flaws I am Confident, Dreamful and also enjoying writing and doing voluntarism work as my part time passion. And I am happy with what I am now. I feel your happy and unhappy life depend upon how many opportunities you have in your life. When you have opportunities you should avail it no matters how inside broken you are. Problems may come in every Human’s life but the intensity of the problems may differ from person to person. Some problems will never last but some minor and major opportunities help you to continue your life with same sound and cleft Nose –Lips.

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Lots of young girls are insecure about their body. In fact, it’s normalized, and confidence is taboo. From social media to marketing tactics on foods, everywhere society is saying “you should hate x,y, and z about yourself, but don’t worry, because earlier we gave you insecurities, and now we’re exploiting them! Here are some products you can buy to “fix” yourself!”

I noticed this first hand, remembering reading the headlines on my mom’s magazines: “lose stubborn belly fat!” and “get rid of the muffin top FAST!” as an 8 year old girl wanting to go on a ‘diet’ not knowing the implications of that word. Fast forward 6 years later, and I get introduced to weightlifting and the fitness space. I become intimidated by the strong men and shy to use anything but the StairMaster. However, I continue to go to the gym and slowly get comfortable.

4 years after starting to work out, I start feeling like I belong at the gym, and have as much of a right to be there as everyone else. I get more confident and excited to wear an outfit to the gym that makes me feel strong, beautiful, and comfortable. I’m completing a set of squats, pushing myself and feeling empowered, while a man turns and looks more times than I can count. A different man catches me as I’m about to leave; he looks at least 10 years older than me, and asks me if I’m single.

I sit down one day, ponder, and become sad at the fact that I’m not the only one. I focus all my attention on providing young women with a safe platform to be unapologetically themselves, and encourage them to have a confident mindset over constantly nitpicking their physical appearance. I decide to start an activewear line, using only empowering and uplifting language, rather than demeaning and exploitative. I craft a brand that is catered to young women who have always been bold, but constantly shut down from the societal standards.

Follow me along for the ride ⚡ https://boltactive.com

Find me at: https://beacons.ai/riapatag

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The good news here… I’m not out to scam you or give you false hope. My goal is to give you practical, real-world tips on how to reach your goals.

So if you want real results, read on.

Because what I’m about to share actually works. And it’s weird. And you’re probably not doing it and that’s why it’s taking forever to hit your goal.

You may recall in my last post I talked about consistency being the key to reaching your goal – and it is.  However, if you are doing the same things over and over again and getting the same results, that’s the definition of insanity.

So what’s the tweak? Adaptation.

Here’s how to make it work for you.

Most of the time when you tackle a big goal, you turn to a mentor and learn how they did it. These are usually authors, speakers, athletes, celebrities, etc. who have broken down their processes into some system to help you achieve the same results. These are great tools you can use to get started.

But here’s the problem… these tools were 100% created for that person, not for you.

There is no one-size-fits-all system. But most people start following the new system and end up frustrated when they don’t get the results they want.

You see, a lot of these systems work in the beginning because you’re going from no system to having a framework you didn’t have before so you will usually make progress right away. That’s why personal development books and speakers are so popular – the initial results come quickly.

But the people who get the BIG results, know the secret. They know that “one weird tweak”.

So here’s where our “one weird tweak” comes into play. Take a step back from whatever system or framework you are using to achieve your goal.

Make a simple two-column list.  On the left side, write down what’s working, what you like about the goal, and what results you are already getting.  On the right side, list what’s not working, what you don’t like and what parts are difficult.

Goals should be hard. If they were easy, everyone would be crushing it. You will probably have quite a few things in the right column. That’s actually a good thing.

Now select one or two items from the right column and make a slight tweak (or adaptation) to it. In other words, make it your own by making it something you like or something that is easier for you to manage.

Here are some easy examples of tweaking health and fitness goals:

• Finding it difficult to work out every day? Plan a 30-minute walk and make it part of your daily routine so it becomes a consistent pillar of your health.
• Struggle to follow a specific diet or meal plan? Find recipes or meals that fit your taste buds… not what some author says you should eat.
• Hate going to the gym or having trouble staying motivated? Find a group activity that interests you and also fills your exercise need (martial arts, dance, hiking, community sport leagues).

The best thing you can do to advance your goal is experiment. Make a small tweak and test it for a short period of time. If it works, keep doing it.  If it doesn’t work, try something else. It’s that simple and it works.

What one weird tweak are you going to make to reach your goal?  Share it below. It may spark an idea for someone else!

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To change your behavior in order to reach a goal, you have to take action.  That might sound obvious, but too many times we get hung up on whether the action we take “counts”.

Every action counts, no matter how small.

The key to reaching any goal is to take micro-steps toward that goal. You must take CONSISTENT action as often as possible.

But what most people fail to do once they start taking action is to track their progress. And tracking your progress is the missing link to staying on track.

Tracking your progress doesn’t mean fancy charts or counting numbers on a scale to reach a weight loss goal. You need to be tracking your consistency by using a calendar to mark down whether you did or didn’t make progress towards your goal every single day.

Big goals take time, and you’re not likely to see much outward progress in the beginning.  That’s why paying attention to micro-steps and giving yourself credit for taking those small steps forward is an important part of the process.

When you don’t track your progress,  you’ll have a bad day or decide it’s too hard and quit. But when you track your progress daily, you track both the good and the bad.  You’ll note when you blew it, but you’ll also be reminded of how many times you succeded.

You don’t need to count the amount of time you spent taking action or how much effort you think you put into it. You only need to ask yourself, “Did I take one micro-step toward reaching my goal?”

If the answer is yes, give yourself a gold star, a checkmark, or whatever motivates you.

Maybe you’re starting a fitness goal and you can’t run farther than a block. That’s ok. You took action, so give yourself credit. Maybe you ate 2 healthy meals and one not-so-healthy meal.  Did you eat better than yesterday? Give yourself credit.

You can do this with a paper calendar or an app.  There are tons of tools that will do the job.

My personal favorite is an iPhone app called “Way of Life” which lets me set up multiple checkpoints. I have some goals that don’t require daily action, so I just mark down the days I took action and skip the days I don’t need to track.

It takes me 30 seconds at the end of the day to check through my items and I can see instantly if I’m on track or off track so I can make course corrections for the next day.

That’s it. It’s that simple.

What micro-steps should you be getting credit for right now? Go mark it down!

Start tracking your consistency and you’ll reach that goal a whole lot faster than you thought you would.

The post Break Your New Year’s Resolution? You’re Doing It Wrong appeared first on Girls Can't WHAT?.

This wasn’t a random event and I didn’t “pay for the privilege” to meet her. At least I didn’t pay in cash.

I had the privilege of attending Oprah’s 2020 Vision Tour in North Carolina because one of my clients, Laila Ali, was a guest speaker at the event. When I posted the photos to Facebook, lots of people responded that we were “so lucky” to be there and “hang out with the celebrities”.  But it has nothing to do with luck.

My business partner Trina and I worked our butts off over the last year to become Laila’s branding and marketing team. So it was no accident that we found ourselves face to face with Oprah.

As Oprah said from the stage that day “I believe luck is preparation meeting opportunity.”

Trina and I have spent over 15 years preparing to be the best brand strategists and marketing team. Our business, Left Right Labs, has grown tremendously in the last few years. And every time an opportunity has presented itself, we have been prepared.

So what are you preparing for? Feel free to leave a comment below.

P.S. Even if I hadn’t had the opportunity to connect with Oprah, the event was unbelievably amazing. I highly encourage you to catch the tour if you can.

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I am an Iraqi woman that came to the united states to study my second masters degree in a technical filed when people told me it was hard to live on my own in a foreign country yet I did it and proved them wrong. While being here in Colorado i listened to a local band called knockout mice and it was so unique and the way they mastered their instruments. They inspired me to play drums. I played along their punk/metal songs and did covers for their songs. Then I fell in love with drumming in general. I started with an electronic drum set and some guys said that I could only play e-drums but that acoustic would exhaust me since I might not have enough muscles. Some others said “ I don’t know why but girls are not good at playing music and specially drums and it needs more testosterone”. Some of them said I cant play live for a long time because I can get tired and I did play live multiple times for two hour sets with full energy.

In the country where I am from things are more complicated. People are not encouraged to play music and specially women performing in public is a big problem there so I wanted to inspire women as I did with studying abroad and proved people wrong that we can do other things too like performing and playing drums..etc.

Also I wanted to prove to people that its never too late to learn anything. I started at age 28 in January this year and it havent been a year and I already play live and with other musicians. Just be persistent at it and serious about it by daily practice and it will happen. Its all about mental strength. Many people start things but the secret is to keep going.

Find me at: https://www.instagram.com/drumbitious2019/

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So why do we set really good intentions to start a new habit and then fail miserably when it comes to following through?

You just might be wearing the answer.

The biggest factor in setting yourself up to achieve a goal is your environment. We’ve all heard this one… “if you’re going to change your eating habits, you should remove all the junk food from your house.”

Sounds easy, right?  Just change the environment.

What that really means is “change the trigger”. You need to identify what causes you to make a bad choice and eliminate it.

But what about creating triggers that help you make a GOOD choice? A choice that will lead you closer to achieving your goal.

Creating triggers is a little harder at first because you have to stop to think about what your trigger should be, then plan out the action steps to set it up.  But once you get a few of them working for you, it’s hard to stop!

A few months ago, I decided I needed to do more pushups.  As an older adult in advanced Taekwondo class, pushups were one thing I struggled with and something I could easily improve on my own. So I told myself I would start with 10 good pushups a day and work my way up. Sounds like a plan!

But nothing happened.

I never did pushups outside of class. Do you know when I remembered that I wanted to do pushups outside of class?  When I was IN class struggling to do pushups. Not helpful!

So I moved on to step two and decided I just needed to plan WHEN to do pushups. So I thought… I’ll do them right before I shower in the morning. Perfect idea!

That didn’t happen. Because once again, nothing in my environment reminded me of that goal… until I got to class and struggled with pushups.

So I realized I needed a visual cue. I strongly dislike things like sticky notes on mirrors or any kind of paper or written reminders because over time (at least to me) these just become visual clutter that I ignore.

I thought about what my routine was like right before I shower to see if there was something I could latch onto in that series of events. What was one thing I did every time before my shower without fail? And there it was…

I open my underwear drawer.

Now, the act of opening my underwear drawer was not going to be strong enough trigger by itself. Why?  Because I do that every day without thinking twice about it. So telling myself that I would be somehow be reminded to do pushups when I opened my underwear drawer was a lost cause. I still needed a visual cue.

Should I put a paper note in the drawer? Probably not. Family members who help with laundry might throw clean clothes on top of it and then my trigger is buried out of sight. What about an object?

Would a small trinket be a good reminder or would it, too, become visual clutter that I eventually ignore.

And then there it was… literally right on top of my dresser.

The reason I wanted to start this habit in the first place… my Taekwondo belt.  It was neatly rolled up next to some sparring awards and a stack of broken boards from my last testing… right where I left it after my last class.

That would become my trigger. I would place it right on top of my underwear and every time I open that drawer before I shower, I would see the belt and remember to do my pushups.

And if any of my family members threw clean laundry on it, I would be retrieving it for class the next day anyway so it would never stay buried for long.

My belt is not only a trigger to do the thing that achieves my goal, but it’s a strong symbol of the goal itself. All I had to do was reposition it in my environment and a brand new GOOD habit has now formed.

This technique is called “habit stacking” and it simply means adding something new to an existing routine. Eventually, it will become so engrained in your current routine that you won’t even need a trigger.

It’s not automatic for me yet. Some mornings, I start to do the pushups before I even reach for the drawer, but other times the sight of the belt stops me in my tracks and I drop to the floor. The new habit is slowly forming. Soon, I won’t even need the belt to remind me.

That’s how you set yourself up for success.

What new habits can you start in your life right now simply by making a small change in your environment? I’d love to hear your ideas below!

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Have you ever felt the panic of getting your period in school and having no tampons or pads?

Do you know the feeling of frantically asking friends for tampons or pads to get you through the day?

What about the embarrassment of having to walk with blood on your clothes to the nurse’s office to ask for feminine products since your school doesn’t provide them in bathrooms?

If so, you are not alone. There are millions of girls worldwide who experience these situations daily, but the reality is that they shouldn’t have to. Instead of girls worrying about not having supplies for their periods, girls should be able to focus on academics and other priorities in their lives.

Not only can not having enough feminine products be a distraction for girls in school but according to globalcitizen.org, there have been worldwide accounts of girls missing school during their periods because they cannot afford tampons or pads.

Toilet paper is provided in bathrooms for both sexes in schools, so why are feminine products, which are basic human needs, not available as well? That’s something I am trying to change.

My name is Emily Aikens, and I am currently a freshman in high school. I saw girls dealing with the tough situations listed above within my own school and decided that a change needed to be made.

After doing research on the topic, I wrote a proposal asking for free tampons and pads to be available in our school bathrooms and student center. After presenting the proposal and answering questions about it, the proposal was unanimously passed by our student government, and it is now in the process of being passed by our administration.

While I am fortunate that changes are in the process of being made at my school, I want to extend this proposal to the public schools in Pennsylvania. In order to do so, I am lobbying PA state representatives to propose a bill that would require all PA public schools to provide free feminine products.

To raise awareness for the issue and gain support, I have created a petition online that can be signed to support the free feminine products movement.  Here is the link: http://chng.it/kLXqZFZwF7 .

Please help support this cause by signing the petition below and help me bring free feminine products to Pennsylvania public schools.

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I’m pretty familiar with the concept of feeling like you’re not as good as someone for reasons that you can’t control – whether it’s age, gender, appearance, or really anything, it’s one of the worst feelings to have. This is who you are, and someone isn’t letting you embrace that. That, right there, is painful. A pain, that when pointed out, nobody seems to care. I’m not over-reacting, and he probably wasn’t just joking. I’m a young female, and that seems to make people think less of my character sometimes. Teenage girls can be fetishized, stereotyped, and thought of as the same as every other young female in the world.

When I talk openly about my immense struggle with depression and anxiety, some people like to blame that on the fact that I’m a teenage girl. People tell me that I “don’t understand those feelings yet”, that I “can’t have those feelings yet”. Please, don’t tell me that I’m just hormonal. Please, don’t whisper amongst yourselves that this is “just how girls my age are”. Because trust me, I can hear you.

No – I’m a young, female, human with human emotions. I should be able to say what I want to. To dress how I want to. To present an image of myself that I want to present – without other people paying that much attention to it – but here we are.

It’s my life, and I should be able to live it without having to think about my appearance distracting the boys in my classroom. These are my thoughts, and I should be able to speak them without somebody telling me that I’m too sensitive. I don’t speak about my mental health issues because I think it sounds cool – I do it because it’s important. It’s important for other young women (anyone, honestly) to know that their mental health isn’t a joke, and that it isn’t able to be stereotyped.
That’s what I want to be for the new generation of feminists. I want my music to crush the whole “sensitive teenage girl” stereotype, because some of are just depressed. Some of us are anxious. Some of us can’t handle another man telling us to calm down – and who wouldn’t be tired of constantly being told to be quiet?

I don’t care if the way I look distracts you. I don’t care if my words are too open for you, because this is who I am. I’ve been told that my songs are too sad, that I’m too sad. I just write what I feel.
Dress how you want to. Say what you want to. At the end of the day, it’s you. Your mind. Your life. No one could ever change that – no matter how many times they tell you that you’re just being a teenage girl. Feminism is important. Knowing that being a feminist doesn’t make you sensitive or dramatic is important. Knowing that there is nothing wrong with being sensitive or dramatic is important. The new generation is important.

Find me at: http://www.instagram.com/cloewilder

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One day while cleaning out our closets and trying to organize our room we came upon old dance bags over stuffed with tap and jazz shoes that didn’t fit us anymore. Behind that bag was another large bag packed with beautiful costumes and barely-worn leotards. We looked at each other and then of course, turned to our mother and said, practically in unison ” Mom, what should we do with all of these things?”.

And suddenly, Donate2Dance was born. We realize that we are two very lucky, young girls who have been tap dancing with Shuffles Tap in NYC since we were each 5 years old. We also acknowledge that not every dancer can just walk into Capezio every few months and buy new shoes. The mission for our charity, Donate2Dance, is to collect gently worn dance shoes, dance wear and costumes because we believe that every child deserves the chance to dance.

We partnered with our tap school, Shuffles Tap and together we engaged the dance community at Shuffles and MMAC also on the upper west side. Our donation bins were quickly packed with toe shoes, leotards, tutus, tap shoes, elaborate costumes, jazz shoes and more. To date, we have four donation bins around NYC and recently brought one to Ballet Academy East. We have collected over 1,000 pairs of shoes and hundreds of costumes.

We use our Bat Mitzvah money and proceeds from bake sales to pay for shipping boxes of donations around the country. The best moment for us is when we receive a letter from a dance school saying how the shoes and costumes made an impact in their students’ lives!

Programs that we send to and work with: Rosie O’Donnell’s – Rosie’s Theater Kids , Idina Menzel’s -A Broader Way, Debbie Allen’s Dance Academy, Dancing Dreams NYC for children with special needs, Orlando Ballet, Arts for Autism, Pink Tutu Outreach in Cleveland, Texas Ballet, The Bronx House and the list goes on and on and on! Recently, we also shipped to dance schools that lost everything in Hurricane Michael.

Corporations like Bloch has generously donated 200 pairs of new dance tights, Capezio has donated shoes and costumes and LeSportSac donated 75 beautiful dance bags. We are waiting to hear from Danskin – we hope they can donate leotards!

Our goal is to keep collecting and shipping to dance programs in need! We love it!

Recently, we were profiled on NY1 as “New Yorkers of The Week” and on ThriveGlobal.com and Playbill…!

Ava and Sophia Paley – we are sisters from NYC who believe every child deserves the chance to dance!
www.Donate2Dance.org
@Donate2Dance

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