The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is a beautiful quote about the meaning of life.  Some people strive for happiness throughout life and end up missing the mark as happiness is an elusive state of mind.  But according to Emerson a life lived well should be make a difference that you have lived to others or the society at large.

This could mean many different things to you.  Making a difference could mean helping others, having a strong relationship with your family, or making a contribution to art or technology.  But none of these things involve being happy neccessarily.  They will most likely lead to a certain happiness because they all promote having a purpose in life, but happiness is not the end goal.

In this way, the search for happiness does not lead to a meaningful life neccessarily, but by finding meaning in life for yourself, you will most likely lead a happier life.  With purpose comes motivation and and the ability to live for things and people other than yourself.

It is up to each individual person to decide what would make their lives meaningful and what would be a life goal to work towards.  Once you have a goal in life, it is so much easier to decide how to spend your time and become absorbed in something bigger than yourself.

What makes a life more well lived for you?  Would you rather have a purpose in life or be happy?  Or does a purpose make you happiest?

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.”  ~ Thomas J. Watson

This quote couldn’t be more true.  No one ever makes it on their first go out of the gate (while maybe one or two But all of the most successful people in the world will tell you that failure is a neccessity to success.  But it is so hard to accept this.  Each time we fail, we take it personally, and unfortunately just one failure in life can be enough to make us not want to take anymore risks.

But this is the wrong attitude to have.  Do not base your sense of self or your ego on a single or even multiple failures.  You have many more failures coming your way!  This is not meant to imply that you are stupid or bad in anyway, but rather that you have a huge potential for growth.  I do too!  And if that is the case, then it is better to take your failures in stride realizing that they give you more opportunity for growth and success.

So for each failure that you have in life, no matter how big or small do not think that you are a failure.  Rather think that you tried something and failed that particular time.  And you learned from it.  And the next time, you will do better!  So never avoid trying for fear of failure, you should proudly display all of your failures to your family and friends because it means you are on the path to success!

What do you think?  Is it hard for you to imagine failure or do you look at it as a positive thing?

“The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.”  ~ Dale Carnegie

My friends and I tend to be big dreamers.  We fail a lot!  That sounds terrible, but in reality it is good because we dream big and try new things all the time.  This quote stood out to me because I feel like those that take the biggest risks in life are always the ones that go the farthest.  Of course, taking big risks doesn’t mean that you will always be successful, but the bigger risks you take – the further you can go.  By pushing past the boundaries of what has been done before or where your imagination can take you, you can take huge leaps in your life.

Maybe you can be successful playing it safe, and maybe you can get wealthy by making safe investments.  But you will never be truly innovative or be wildly successful without taking risks and making mistakes.  Those who revolutionize entire industries – Steve Jobs, Richard Branson etc. took an amazing amount of risks and had a very up and down journey on their paths to super success.  How can you know what is in store for you if you venture out towards the unknown.

So when you have an idea or a dream, even if the future is uncertain (which it most likely always is no matter what you choose), you shouldn’t discount it just because you can’t see how it will end.  The best and most worthwhile journeys in life are the ones where we don’t know where we will end up.

So what do you think?  Have you ever ventured far from the shore?  If you could do anything without worrying how it will turn out what would it be?

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Marilyn Monroe

Such a gem of a quote!  It is true too.  While of course women should be equal to men in all ways that it makes sense, there is no reason that a woman can’t aspire to be extraordinary.

Unfortunately, even 50 years since Monroe said this quote, women still make less money on average and are not allowed many of the same rights and freedoms as men.  It seems silly when you think about it.  I don’t know anyone who is actually sexist in real life, yet these kinds of problems still persist. Specifically in some areas.

Regardless of what gender you are though, there is no sense in aiming to be equal to someone else, why not aim to be extraordinary?

“I have always been deeply terrified to really be someone’s wife since I know from life one cannot love another, ever, really.”

“It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone – so far.”

“It’s better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you’re not.”

“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Marilyn Monroe is a legend.  And with good cause.  What is your favorite Marilyn Monroe quote?

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” – Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde always comes up with such zingers.  I know one thing.  If I had ever met him in real life, I wouldn’t have wanted to get on his bad side.

Everyone hopes that they are one of those who cause happiness wherever they go but how can you know?  All of us have known someone that is like this.  Generally well loved by everyone, friendly, kind and funny.  Those are the characteristics that I would give to someone who would fit in this category.  But everyone is different in what they think makes a really likeable person.

But a good exercise is thinking of a person that you know or a famous person who is generally well liked for their personality.  Write down what characteristics they have like social, generous, kind, funny.  Whatever characteristics you think they have.

Then take your list and ask yourself if you resemble them at all?  Are you generous, kind, friendly?  This exercise isn’t intended to make you feel inferior or bad about yourself, but rather show you what characteristics you value in others and give you clues into the direction that you want to grow.

If you respect and value people who have certain characteristics, it lets you know that you would most likely want to have more of those characteristics yourself.  We can learn so much about who we want to be by those around us.

So what do you think?  What are the characteristics that make a likeable person?

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.  ~John Barrymore

This is similar to a quote that we posted last week by Edith Wharton: If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.  ~Edith Wharton

When Barrymore says that happiness often sneaks in through a door that you didn’t know you left open he means that the nature of happiness is so illusive that it can come when least expected.  This quote also implies that happiness is something that often can’t be sought after but rather surprises us at times.

This quote is also incredibly hopeful, and I recommend reading it when you feel a bit sad or directionless.  Sometimes just sitting still and doing nothing will bring happiness.  It is not an objective that you always have to work towards and struggle for.  Changing your perspective has immense power over your own happiness but so does time passing.

If your life circumstances seem particularly bad currently, often just letting time pass will make things get better.  And then happiness can sneak into a part of your life that you were not even paying attention to.  So don’t get down on yourself if you are not happy at the moment.  It will come.

What do you think?  Has happiness found you when you weren’t looking for it?

If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.  ~Edith Wharton

This quote reminds me of how our society seems to be searching everywhere constantly for happiness.  And when we are not happy we seek outside things to make us happy quickly, whether they be pharmaceutical or retail or give us a distraction.  But I think what Edith Wharton is saying in this quote is that in the search for happiness, the implication is that we are not happy.

Happiness shouldn’t be a goal, even though it is intuitive to think about it in that way.  Because if you look at happiness as a goal, you automatically will feel like you are failing whenever you aren’t happy.  And that isn’t really what life is about.

There is a great episode of the Twilight Zone (sorry to geek out!) but it illustrates my point perfectly.  A gambler is dies and goes to heaven.  Of course he is in a casino and he keeps winning – roll after roll, hand after hand.  Well that is great!  For a while… but then it loses it’s excitement and novelty.

Without the times when we aren’t happy, there would be no times when we could truly appreciate that we are happy.  So I think Wharton is right.  Let’s start having a pretty good time and stop chasing the illusion of a constant happy state.  Enjoy it when you are happy, but don’t sweat it when you aren’t!

Do you think really trying to be happy paradoxically makes you less happy?

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” Les Brown

It is so easy to let your fears overcome you and stop you from not only living your dreams, but seeing what your dreams even are.  When your thoughts are occupied by all of the things that could go wrong there is very little room for all of the things that could go right.

If you are very honest with yourself, I think you will notice that you probably have a lot of fears that linger in the back of your mind but probably aren’t very likely at all.  They have probably never even happened before but you still spend time worrying that they might happen in the future.

If you are devoting significant time to this kind of worrying, think about how much time would be freed up if you stopped worrying.  Easier said than done I know, but if you can identify each time you are worrying and devote that attention to figuring out your dream, or even better making your dream happen imagine the dramatic change that you will have in your life!

Often our fears are unfounded.  Life is random and chaotic.  What happens to you in this life is pretty much a crap shoot and you have very little control over preventing bad things from happening to you.  So bad things will happen to you no matter how much you worry and fret.  But less good things will happen too because you are consumed with worry.

Make mistakes and learn from them!  Try new things and revel in your growth.  Don’t waste your time with fear!

Have any tips on how to make yourself less fearful?