Goal of Losing

VIDEO: Indoor Plant with Me

2022-12-14T13:10:00.003-05:00

Don't worry about me over here just posting a video from May in mid-December. I'm hoping to have all of my 2022 garden videos edited and uploaded before next garden season. It's a personal goal of mine because I want to have these videos to look back on, and because I want to share my love of gardening with you all. Now is a great time to get into it if you're interested!

Today's video is showing you how I started some of my seeds indoors last Spring. I hope you enjoy!

VIDEO: How to Start Tomatoes from Seed

2022-11-08T06:00:00.001-05:00

Another day, another video? I guess that's the case this week!

I gathered up some more footage from this past Spring to create this video on how to start tomatoes from seed. Again, I'm mostly producing these videos for my own archive to look back on, but I wanted to share in case it helps to inspire some to look into gardening, or teach someone something new.

If this isn't your thing, I will encourage you to hang in there. I only have the beginning and the rest of summer to catch up on. Haha.

If this IS your thing - let me know! I love to connect with other garden enthusiasts.

VIDEO: Planting Onion Seeds - A Look Back at Spring

2022-11-07T14:00:00.004-05:00

It's almost winter and guess what I'm doing...

I'm editing videos from Spring. Haha.

I recorded SO much garden content from Spring to Fall this year. The garden (and life in general) kept me so busy that I am only now sitting down to produce videos. Here's a video I just edited from March of this year.

These videos are more for me to look back on as a record of our first garden year with our new garden space. However, I'm also sharing for others to learn from and inspire.

It's a rewarding hobby that feeds my family and grows us in so many different ways! :)

Pumpkins and Screen Time

2022-10-31T06:00:00.008-04:00

Hello, and happy Monday! It was so nice to hear from the few of you who reached out either by comment or direct message to tell me you’re still here reading. I don’t take your time for granted and appreciate you being here! I feel incredibly blessed by the encouragements you sent my way, as well. I hope in some way my writing may encourage you, too.

This weekend, we carved pumpkins with our family! A cherished tradition that our girls love.

Piper gutted and carved her own pumpkin this year! She made a cute face with some big teeth. Laney picked out a spider stencil, which was carved out by my husband. I don’t really appreciate the pumpkin carving (read: pumpkin guts) myself, but I love the family time!

I don’t know about you, but I have been feeling pulled in many different directions lately. There always seems to be something fighting for my attention (and I’m not even talking about my 2 young girls). I’ve been trying to be more self-aware and I am realizing that social media has been a struggle for me lately. I am embarrassed to say how much time I’ve wasted on my phone these past few months. I started looking at my screen time activity on my iPhone and I won’t even tell you how many hours I average on a day. It’s not all spent on social media, of course, but the number was convicting enough for me to seek change.

I’m going to try to put my phone away in the cupboard during certain times throughout my day to see if that helps. I’ve found myself picking up my phone to do one thing (like looking up a recipe) only to find myself not on to something else, and 10 or 20 minutes have passed by.

Another tactic, which I used last Fall, is to fill my hands with something other than my phone. In my case it’s knitting. ‘Tis the season, after all!

Focusing on lowering my screen time is just one thing I’m going to be working on this week to help spark some healthy change in my life and help create more balance in my days.

I also want to focus in on my water intake again and begin tracking my nutrition. I know I’m not going to make all of the healthy changes needed overnight but, these are the steps I’m starting with this week. :)

Fall Thoughts

2022-10-27T14:23:00.001-04:00

Hello! I’m not sure how many of you are still out there reading this now. I’ve been silent for long periods of time all throughout this past year. In those times of silence on the blog, I’ve thought about writing a post or two, but then I’d just continue on to my next task. There have been a lot of those lately - tasks.

There have also been a lot of good moments of rest - many of which have been happening with a toddler reclined back onto my chest as we sit together cuddled up in a blanket.

Oh, these are some of the sweetest days. I have been savoring these moments, drinking them in. We’ve been having a lot of “family couch” time this Fall - where we’re all cuddled up on the couch after our long days. Fall is a season that is so good for moments like these.

Fall has been good to us, so far. We’ve gone on a pumpkin walk, been to pumpkin patches, trailed around Zoo Boo, and enjoyed playing in the leaves.

I’ve baked probably a dozen batches of muffins - all with a new whole wheat muffin recipe I found on Pinterest and have been loving! I use this recipe as a lighter version of banana and zucchini muffins. Baking with whole wheat is a win for sure. We’ve been trying to include more whole wheat and healthy grains into our diets. We’ve switched to rye bread, brown rice and whole wheat pasta. They weren’t hard switches for us - we’ve been enjoying these things for a while!

Up until recently, I haven’t felt very motivated to focus on weight loss. I’ve been feeling that way for a better part of this year, actually. It’s been nice to just maintain my weight without much thought about it - because there are so many other places my thoughts, time and energy have been this year. However, I do still have the desire to lose weight - and more importantly, gain better health.

Maintaining my weight has happened naturally this year, but losing weight and working toward better health takes intentionality and a certain kind of prioritizing. Nothing has really changed for me as far as my responsibilities go. If anything, I have more responsibilities now than ever. So what needs to change is how much I prioritize my health in this season. It needs to get bumped up to the top or else all the other things will crumble.

I’m not sure if by reprioritizing my health that automatically means you’ll be hearing from me more in this space. I may try to blog more frequently but, I’m okay if that isn’t what happens during this shift in my priorities. For a long time, my blog helped me maintain a certain kind of accountability that I needed. Now, it’s more of a space where I want to keep a record of where we’ve been along the way.

I’ve thought about privatizing my blog, so that only my family could look back and onward. I may still do that as I’m not sure how many people are still around. Leave a comment or send me a message to let me know you’re here. I appreciate you being here!

Welcoming Fall 2022

2022-09-22T10:11:00.004-04:00

It’s the first day of Fall and I am happily welcoming this transition of seasons. It’s funny, because just a few weeks ago I was dreading it quite a bit. I wasn’t ready to let go of summer just yet, and nobody was asking me to at that time. Now that Fall is here, it feels like it’s come in perfect timing.

Summer brings a certain kind of beauty and peace that I will miss; especially in the form of late nights in the garden. I will also miss the early mornings, drinking tea in the garden with my oldest daughter.

As lovely as Summer in the garden was, the season itself was also incredibly busy. We had to really work to find our moments of peace.

This Fall, however, I expect to find peace in different ways. The garden is still there, it’s just a much more bare. The nights come earlier and the weather will become more harsh. I’ll seek my peace indoors with a hot cup of tea and knitting with a blanket on my lap. After a season of what seemed like being out and everywhere, I am looking forward to spending some more time at home with my favorite people.

I am looking forward to slowing down in ways - which will be an intentional focus of mine this season. Slowing down and reprioritizing.

What are you hoping this change of season will bring you?

13 Years

2022-09-20T12:45:00.001-04:00

On Monday, my husband and I celebrated our 13 year wedding anniversary!

He took the day off from work and his mom came over to watch Laney while Nick and I went out to lunch (-Piper was at school). We didn’t have a firm plan as for what we’d do with our time out, and it worked out well that way.

We took a peaceful drive on some backroads - if you’re the parent of young children, you must know how much of a treat that was for us! Along the way, we found the cutest little country store. We stopped and grabbed some treats for the road. We loved the little shop so much that we vowed to come back.

We joke that this was our most expensive anniversary because while we were out, we stopped and ordered a shed for delivery sometime in the next month. Of course, this wasn’t for our anniversary. It has actually been something we’ve been working toward as part of our 5 year homestead plan. The shed will be used partially for storage, and partially as a coop for chickens. More on all of that, soon.

For lunch, we went out to an old time favorite restaurant of ours. Their decor and menu is eclectic. The food is phenomenal. The company was as good as it gets.

Our little local celebration of our love was exactly what we needed for our anniversary. It is such a gift to love and be loved by my sweet husband.

End of Summer Update + Photo Dump

2022-09-09T15:05:00.007-04:00

Hello, readers! It's been a real long time. A lot has changed! Let’s start with the exciting news that I have returned to working part-time at our church!

I started back to work on July 11th as the new Clearance Admin. I have been working to help our volunteers and staff obtain and maintain required clearances to serve. I love it! It feels like this role was made for me. I get to work part-time from home or in the office, and the hours are flexible! I mostly work a few nights each week. I still get to stay home with the girls during the day which was really important for me in this season!

I’ve also been voted in as our elementary school’s PTO Secretary. It also feels a bit like a part-time job but that’s just because I’m working on re-developing systems that haven’t been in place since before the pandemic. We’re excited that the school year is looking more normal than not, with the ability to bring back some programs and assemblies that have been missed!

I have stopped working as a server and hostess at our family diner on the weekends. This was a hard call for me because it was such a bucket filler for me. I loved investing in our family’s business and also our community in this way. However, I didn’t really have the choice to stop. In July, I suffered a herniated disc in my lower back which took 4-6 weeks to heal. I am still in physical therapy for this injury. Serving tables at the diner is just not something I can do right now, and it’s probably wise to give this up for a bit given my new roles with the church and school in this season.

After my back was more healed, we had another rough couple of weeks when Laney got really sick.

Thankfully my back was healed because Laney practically lived on us for a few days. We were in and out of the hospital as she battled a serious kidney infection. It was a trying time for all of us. We are incredibly grateful she recovered well and is back to her normal, wild self now!

Despite the challenges the end of summer brought, we did make sure to fit in as much end-of-summer fun as we could! Here's a photo dump of some of the highlights toward the end of this summer.

God has been so good to us. What amazing memories we have to look back on this summer - even in the thick of hardship at times. It only made our faith and love for God's goodness grow even greater!

Also before the end of summer, Piper got baptized at our church! It was an incredibly special day for us all. We are so proud of her for choosing to do this in God's perfect timing.

Last week, Piper started second grade and the transition for her couldn’t have gone any better!

We are so glad she loves school and that the routine and tasks come fairly easy to her. I am so excited to watch her grow this school year!

As for my health goals, I would love to start getting back into a routine of taking better care of myself. Making myself more of a priority needs to happen this month. I am going to give it my best shot each day. We are still getting used to juggling the new school/homework routine, my working some evenings, and also fitting in physical therapy on my free nights. I’m hoping we feel more rooted in our routines and find a rhythm by the end of the month!

Mid-Summer Garden Update | 2022

2022-07-09T12:35:00.004-04:00

Hello from my favorite place to be - in the garden!

Walking around my garden has become the "bookends" to my summer days. It's my favorite way to start the day, and to end it. A couple weeks ago, my husband added lights to the deer fence he built for us this Spring. The lights have completely transformed this space. After we get the kids to bed, Nick and I meet out here in the garden to sit and admire the space as we chat and wind down from our days.

Things are growing quite nicely, despite some pest pressure. We have battled slugs - which was mostly a problem in the Spring. Our more recent pest pressure has come from cucumber beetles (which are also loving our bean trellis). A new pest I found this morning was a clicking beetle, which is wreaking a new kind of havoc on the cucumber foliage.

I'm just glad the pests have been leaving my tomatoes alone - which are my favorite plants in the garden. I chose to spend a lot of time learning about how to care for tomatoes and how to prune them for the best yield. I think we'll start to see the fruit of my efforts in the next month! Then, I will divide my focus to add harvesting, canning and preserving to the mix.

Speaking of harvesting, I finally got to harvest my first round of garlic last weekend! For my zone (6a) I will continue to plant garlic around Halloween and harvest around Independence Day. It worked so well! I cannot wait to start using this garlic in our different canning recipes and cooking in the coming months!

I love to look back on the progress we have made with the garden. It was only last Fall when I was sitting in a chair with my sketch pad, dreaming of what this space could look like. I made a five year plan for this space and Nick has absolutely helped make year one come true!

Fall, 2021

Spring, 2022

The beds and fence are in - next we will be working toward a chicken coop for the Spring. But, that will all come in time. For now, it is important to stay in the present moment and to appreciate the space we've built, just as it is right now.

For more on our garden, you can follow our new YouTube channel: Gracefully Grown.

If you're interested in seeing a peak of our homestead from last Fall - Spring, you can watch this new video I just posted about overwintering garlic.

It's incredible to see how it once looked like compared to the mid-summer garden we have today!

Our Summer Staycation | 2022

2022-07-08T13:08:00.004-04:00

The past couple years our family has been taking a week-long "staycation". Last year, Laney was only 6 months old and at that time we didn’t want to travel away from home to go on a vacation. We enjoyed our staycation so much last summer that we decided to do another staycation this summer!

This past year we have felt the need to invest more of our time and money into making our home a space where we don’t need to take a vacation from. We put a lot of our resources into making a beautiful garden space this year with the "staycation" idea in mind!

We will of course want to travel away from home again in the future but staying at home for staycation these past couple years has been a good plan for us considering the season of life we’re in.

Our staycation was much different this year now that Laney is a toddler! She got to have a lot more fun with us!

A friend of mine gave us some good advice to not over plan our days during our 10-day staycation. We only scheduled one outing or activity each day and went with the flow the rest of the time. It made the week go by at a perfect pace. We weren’t saying “that went so fast” at the end of our time together. It felt like the time went by just right.

Our first outing was a beach night! Piper quickly found a friend that we just happened to run into that evening and so she had a lot of fun in the lake with her. Laney enjoyed testing out the water with her feet, and eventually sat down in the lake amidst the low waves.

At this particular beach, there is a playground nearby. We ended the evening on the swings overlooking the lake. It was such a nice way to start our staycation! We are so blessed to live near such a beautiful lake.

On Monday, we went to the zoo! Piper has been coming to the zoo ever since she was Laney's age. She still loves going to the zoo and Laney is beginning to love it, too!

On Tuesday, we spent the morning at home. We ate lunch and then after Delaney woke up from her nap, we went to Water World and Waldameer!

We have season passes to our local amusement park and while we visit it every Friday during the summer, we don't very often go to the water park side. This day trip felt like a special occasion for us all!

On Wednesday, we grabbed stromboli's from a local tavern and visited with our friends for a "kids and karts" night! The kids road around with Piper's go kart and other fun atv type things!

On Thursday, I took a bit of a self care day which included a haircut for Piper and I.

On Friday, we went to a local campground where we have a membership to access their pool and splash pad!

Piper was lucky enough to run into friends again - which is another awesome thing about staycations! She swam with her friends while Nick and I got to play with Laney at the splash pad for a bit.

From Saturday - Monday, we spent the rest of our days hanging around home. We gardened and relaxed quite a bit! Each night, we had a different picnic to attend with friends and family to celebrate independence day.

It was icing on top of the cake to have the end of staycation met by fireworks and picnics with our family and friends! Many memories were made. We had the best time!

Hello July and... Easter?

2022-07-01T20:24:00.001-04:00

Happy first day of July! Want to watch our Easter vlog? ...Random? Yes! That's how far behind I am on editing videos.

This past week my husband took off work so our family could have a staycation! We have done a lot of fun things that I might be able to share with you by Christmas. Just kidding... kind of.

Let me get caught up on Easter, first. Here's the long awaited Easter vlog that I've filmed and edited mostly for my own memory's sake. Enjoy!

Summer Break is Here

2022-06-13T11:57:00.000-04:00

We are starting our first full week of summer break and a lot has happened already!

On Friday, we visited our local amusement park for the first time of the season! Since we get season passes, a visit to our local amusement park is a weekly adventure for us.

This is the first year that Laney is able to ride the kiddie rides and she absolutely loves it!

We had a busy and great first weekend of summer break! On Saturday, I worked a few hours at our family’s diner and then I took Piper to her friend’s birthday party at the playground. After that, we went to our friend’s going away party where the kids played on an inflatable water slide!

On Sunday, we went to church and then our friends took Piper for the rest of the afternoon while Nick and I traveled about an hour away to look at a new used vehicle. Our H3 SUV is at the end of it’s life and so we snagged up a great deal on a Honda Pilot. We have some work to put into it but it should be good to go in no time!

Later that evening we picked up Piper from our friends house and visited with them for a while. An ice cream truck came by which was the hit of the night!

We had a late summer night type of dinner by the time we got home. It was one of those nights when it was nearly bedtime and we all thought - “hey, we didn’t eat dinner!” So, I ran to the store in town and grabbed some sub rolls, meats and cheese. We quickly made ourselves some subs which I think might be a new summer staple to get us through these long summer days!

School’s Out for Summer | 2022

2022-06-09T16:31:00.000-04:00

Today is the first day of summer break! Hip hip hooray!

Piper has finished first grade! Laney and I are both so happy to have her home with us during the days, again! Yesterday, Laney greeted Piper with flowers when she got home from her last day of school. It was the cutest thing!

The remainder of this week will be spent settling in and creating new routines/rhythms at home. One of our most fun and favorite summer routines is to go to our local amusement park every Friday night! Tomorrow will be our first visit of the season!

Today was more relaxed. It rained during the morning and so we played inside. When Laney went down for her nap, the sun started peaking out and so Piper and I went outside.

When we got outside, we saw the lettuce I had planted last month was ready to be harvested and so I taught Piper how to cut and clean lettuce for the first time.

When I planted these seeds, I didn’t realize all the lessons I was planting with them. There is so much joy to be found in the garden, and we have plenty of garden to explore this year.

We are really excited about all of the growth this summer will bring!

Finding Refuge in the Garden

2022-06-01T13:33:00.003-04:00

Wow. It's June! The first day of June. I am still a bit in shock. My garden is filling up with plants, school is winding down for the year and, the weather has been consistently warm. There are a lot of indicators that it is the beginning of June, however, I am still orienting myself to that truth.

The past few weeks have been incredibly productive and busy in the best way!

Piper started coach pitch softball and has games twice each week. She's doing so great learning and growing with her team. She is about to finish first grade and we couldn't be any more proud of her!

Delaney is growing and expanding in her development seemingly each day. She keeps saying more and more things, and we seem to be understanding one another in almost every way.

My husband and I really hit the ground running once the weather became consistently nice.

We (mostly Nick and my grandpa) got our new garden fenced finished just in time for me to put in all 18 of our tomato plants last weekend.

This garden is becoming quite the transformational space. Not only in it's looks but also in a way that it is helping transform me, my daily rhythms, and my heart. When I am stressed, I run to the garden. When I am happy, I run to the garden. When I am sad, I run to the garden. And when I am in the garden, I am in the presence of God.

This past week has been challenging for my heart. The recent shooting in TX has been weighing on me heavily. Tears are escaping my eyes right at this moment just at the action of typing those words. Since I found out about it, there have been many moments in each day where I have cried about the horrific and tragic loss of those innocent children. Usually, it all comes out in the garden. Through my tears, I have prayed. Mostly, I have prayed wordless prayers allowing my tears to be carried by the Holy Spirit. It's too much for my heart. It's more than our souls were meant to endure. It feels like too much because it is far more than too much.

My garden is quickly becoming a refuge not only for me, but for my entire family. My daughter, Piper, loves to meet me out in the garden with a cup of decaffeinated tea. I know God meets her there too, because it is in the garden when I hear her talk about God the most. The other morning, as we walked around the garden with our tea in hand, Piper said to me "Isn't it cool mom that God made this morning for us to be together here in the garden? He planned out this time for us right now! He knows what's going to happen today. I bet it's going to be good!" ... for reference, Piper is 7, and yes, she is very wise.

So, even though my heart is grief stricken about the world right now, I lament with hope.

Mother’s Day 2022

2022-05-09T06:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and it was wonderful! I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day, as well.

My day started out with tea in the garden with my oldest daughter, Piper. She also cherishes simple, peaceful moments as I do. She is a bit of an old soul in this way and I love it. These moments out in the garden together as the sun rises are some very special moments between us. We often talk about God and anything else Piper might have questions about.

After eating breakfast, we all went to church. Then, we grabbed footlong hot dogs from an ice cream stand for lunch. Nick (re)filled our 4x4 garden bed in the afternoon while I did a couple loads of laundry. Then, we all went to Piper’s friend’s birthday party at the tumble gym. The girls had a blast!

My Mother’s Day ended the same way it began - with tea in the garden. I ended the day praising God for the blessing of being the mother to my two beautiful daughters.

What a gift it is to be a mother!

Gracefully Grown

2022-05-03T17:43:00.001-04:00

I've been working on some fun projects, lately! I have a lot going on with my garden planning and prepping. I have been trying to document the process along the way. I created a separate space for sharing all about my homesteading adventures. I am still trying to figure out if I want to compartmentalize in that way or combine it all with this space. For now, I'm keeping it separate.

If you are interested in homesteading, gardening, canning, etc. you can go follow me over at @gracefully.grown on Instagram. I also wanted to share a little video I made showing how we built our raised bed garden.

If this is something you enjoy, please let me know! Learning about homesteading has been so fun for me lately. It's something I really enjoy doing!

Grief and the Weather

2022-04-27T07:33:00.002-04:00

Another reason why I may not be blogging as often lately is because I’ve been journaling more. Pencil to paper. It’s my favorite way to write!

I want to share what I wrote in my journal today. It was about grief and the weather.

As I sit in my chair next to the window, I see there is a light dusting of snow on the trees outside. This might be another year where we see snow clear into May. This weekend, we had a wonderful taste of Spring - well, Summer, actually. It was 80° and sunny. Today, a soft snow falls from the sky.

The abrupt change in weather is a shock to the body and mind. A familiar feeling. It reminds me of my walk through grief. Some days feel like summer, and some days snap you right back into winter.

I really don’t want to look at winter as “bad” and summer as “good” even though it may feel that way at times. They both have their purpose; their own beauty. Same goes with the “winter” and “summer” we experience in grief.

The cold and isolating days of grief/winter are grueling. But in those cold, dark days the Lord’s warm invite into His loving arms feels more like exactly what we need.

Likewise, in the joyful days of summer we can feel the Lord’s warm embrace as the hot sun covers our body and all His creation.

The weather today, such a stark contrast to the weather of yesterday, can remind us of one important thing:

God’s warm embrace is waiting for us in any season.

Our Family Easter 2022

2022-04-26T19:25:00.002-04:00

Whoops! I forgot to hit "publish" on this post. So even though it's been well over a week, I hope you all had a wonderful Easter! We sure did!

There were quite a few times where I intentionally stopped whatever I was doing to savor the fact that we are living out some of the best days of our lives with our kids. Every day with young children comes with a different mix of chaos and beauty. That goes for holidays, especially.

On Saturday, I worked at our family’s diner in the morning and then we all went to church for an evening Easter service. I love Easter and all that it calls us to reflect on in Jesus.

We had a nice and slow Sunday morning. The kids opened everything in their Easter baskets on and then we all decided to go to our family’s diner for breakfast. After Laney’s nap, we went to my dad’s house for lunch. It was a really nice day!

I did take some video footage over Easter weekend. I hope to have a little video montage created sometime soon! :)

Value in the Mundane

2022-04-16T07:49:00.000-04:00

Hello, hello! I hope this blog finds you well. Thanks for stopping by to catch up with me today.

It’s quite clear that I haven’t been blogging as much recently. The other day, I started to ask myself why that has been the case. Sure, I haven’t been feeling all that well (see previous post for more on that). But, that isn’t the only reason. Some of the reason is because I feel like I don’t want to waste anyones time with my ramblings. Time is precious and fleeting. I don’t want to waste my own time or yours.

So, I think another reason I haven’t been blogging all that much is because I’ve been trying not to blog unless I have something really important to say. Unlike years ago, when I would update on the most mundane, little daily things happening in my life. But, I don’t know if I like that train of thinking all that much. Because it’s the little, sometimes mundane things, that I want to be able to look back on and remember.

For instance, I want to share and remember how when our 16 month old daughter, Laney, gives hugs she throw her arms behind her back and lays into you. It’s truly the sweetest thing. Or, how Piper helped me plant our tomato seeds for this years garden the other day. During which time, she shared a bunch of facts about how to grow plants and how worms are beneficial for the soil. In that moment, my heart was so proud.

It’s those little things that happen throughout our days that I want to capture and savor for years to come. So while some of my writings may seem mundane, I don’t believe it is a waste of time (at least for me) to capture it all. I hope to be sharing more of the mundane here, soon.

Welcoming April + Opening Up About My Health

2022-04-01T06:00:00.008-04:00

Hello, and happy Friday! Better yet, happy first day of April! I ended the month of March at my lowest weight since before I was pregnant with Delaney (who is now 15 months old). Despite some frustrating health issues that come and go - I have been feeling really good at this weight.

I think I am finally ready to start talking about my elusive health issues. Ever since last Fall, I have been dealing with a rash that has become quite debilitating at times. In late September, the rash began in my underarms. It seemed almost as if it were a simple heat rash. Then it morphed into something else when I got COVID only a couple weeks later.

When I am in a flare with this rash, it is all I can think about because it burns and itches and makes my entire body tense and prickly. My joints become stiff when I'm in a flare. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning, it is hard to close my hand into a fist, or send a text to my husband. My fingers don't work well during a flare, which is probably just another reason why I have been less motivated to type an update for my blog. Thankfully, these issues aren't constant. They come and go throughout each month. It's been six months, now. It is hard to stay hopeful for the day these issues may end. It is hard to still not know the root cause of these issues.

I recently had bloodwork done in effort to rule out autoimmune issues. Although not definitive, the bloodwork came back good. Now, in a couple of weeks, we move on to the other types of testing. We will be working on ruling out other things next - through a mammogram and ultrasound. I'm only 34 and so it is quite early but, not too early for this sort of thing.

The hardest part of all of this has been the mental toll it has taken on me. Every day, the first thing that I do when I wake up in the morning, is ball my hand up into a fist to see if I can do it. Then, I feel the area where my rash is to see if it is inflamed. When I'm in a flare, I am defeated. When I am not in a flare, I am fearful of when I will be in a flare again. This has been my reality for many months now.

With all that said, I have been trying harder lately to not allow this health struggle to consume me. There is much to be joyful and hopeful for outside of all of this. I am incredibly blessed and my hope remains in a God that is much bigger than these issues - or any issue for that matter.

Finally Spring 2022

2022-03-21T06:00:00.001-04:00

Happy Spring, everyone! I am so glad to welcome this new season! I have been looking forward to this particular season for quite a while now. This will be my first Spring season where I’ll be planting in my new raised beds. I’m sure I’ll be sharing more about that as the weather warms up.

I’m also hoping I’ll be sharing more blog posts with you during this season, however, I’m not going to make any promises. Life has been different in a lot of good ways lately. Life has also been more challenging in some ways, too.

I’ve been dealing with some health issues since last Fall that flare up at times and can be quite debilitating in the moment. I’ve been on various medications and still don’t have any real good answers as to the root issue of all the symptoms I’ve been experiencing. Without sharing too much, my next step may be acquiring the help of a rheumatologist. I would love prayers for answers and healing.

Aside from that, I have so much to be joyful for in this season! My kids grew so much over the winter! They are in a completely new season of their own. Laney is talking and understanding so much more these days. She is also climbing on everything - proving to be quite the opposite of her more cautious sister. Piper is reading books and expanding on her interests. It is such a unique blessing to be the mom of a 7 year old and a 1 year old at the same time.

Of course, this stage with our kids also comes with it’s challenges. For instance, all of our dining room chairs are bungee-strapped together underneath the table at the moment as to deter Laney from climbing up onto them and subsequently onto the table. Laney’s thrill seeking isn’t making toddlerhood easy for us at all but, we know better than to wish any of these moments away. I make sure to breath her in and squeeze her extra tight during those very few moments when she’ll lay still in our arms.

Every day seems to be going by quicker than ever before. It’s already March 21st and this is my first post of the month! I’m hoping to find a better rhythm to where I can fit blogging back into my schedule again. However, there have been other things that have needed to go up in my priority list, especially with the health issues I’ve been battling recently. Instead of sitting down at a computer to type in my downtime, I’ve been needing to be more intentional with my body - stretching, resting, etc. Despite my lack of check-ins here, I have been doing well with maintaining my weight-loss. I plan to be more intentional with losing weight and gaining health in that way this season, as well.

Weight Check + Ready for Something New

2022-02-22T12:13:00.010-05:00

Hello, everyone! How has your month been? February is one of the hardest months for me personally. It's nearing the end of winter but, not quite the end. I am anxiously awaiting the newness of Spring while also trying not to miss the beauty of the current moment.

I am ready to get outside and reconnect with nature. I am ready to start the garden that has been on my heart and mind since last summer. I am ready to come out of hibernation.

If you are caught up on the blog then you know I have been intentionally hibernating in a sort of way this winter. As I wrote in my blog post "Striving in January" you'll know that I haven't felt like striving toward any goals this winter. Instead, I have felt the need to reconnect with the season by slowing down.

Now, as March is only a week away, I feel a sort of excitement for what's to come! I don't know if I'd consider myself fully out of hibernation quite yet. It's been rather comfy here. However, I am starting to stretch my arms and dust myself off a bit. I am working my way out slowly; as slowly as the winter changes to Spring.

Something happened with my health in the past week that had me running to food as medicine again. I started being more intentional about eating leafy greens and taking my vitamins. I even checked the scale this morning and I'm happy to see that my little hibernation this winter did not cause much trouble there. During my time in hibernation, I was hovering between 230-235. Today, I weighed in at 229. I am excited for where I might be in a month from now if I keep treating food like medicine, 80% of the time.

At this point in my life, the number on the scale holds less weight compared to how I'm feeling. And right now, I am feeling good and ready to welcome something new.

NEW VIDEO Our Family Christmas 2021

2022-02-09T12:05:00.002-05:00

You don't have to double check the date on this post. Yes, I am finally sharing our family Christmas video in February. At least there is still snow on the ground!

I have been very slowly working on putting our family Christmas video together and I just finally finished it! Our family loves looking back on these videos. I hope you enjoy this little peak into our life, as well.

Hello, February + Seeking Beautiful Moments

2022-02-01T11:00:00.001-05:00

I welcome February with a deep breath and happy sigh.

The sunshine is out today. It’s helping to lower our 2ft snow piles by just a bit. This, however, will be short lived. We have a winter storm due to hit sometime tomorrow or the next day. So today I will enjoying the sunshine beaming through the windows while it lasts.

Last month, I focused on slowing down. I returned to home cooked meals, baking bread from scratch, trimming our budget and working to be fully present in the moment with our family. Our schedule in January was still quite busy, but for us it was the right kind of busy. We got a lot of in-person time with various family and friends. It was good.

This month, I want to focus more on my self care. I want to be more intentional about staying hydrated, moving my body and seeking beautiful moments of rest. I added the word beautiful in there on purpose.

During winter it can be hard to find beauty in the moments. It’s definitely there, I just need to seek it out. Like last night when I stepped outside to let the dogs out before bed. I looked up to see the stars shining bright in the dark clear sky while holding a hot cup of tea in my hands. I took a deep breath of the cold winter air and then watched the steam float away as the breath escaped my mouth. You know, that sort of thing. There can be moments of beauty even in the most cold and dark places.

Striving in January?

2022-01-26T11:25:00.004-05:00

I know that American culture encourages the “new year, new me” mentality. In the past, I have very much enjoyed and embraced that excuse for a fresh start. As of late though, it’s just not how I’m feeling. I may embrace this idea in the future, but not now.

I’ve found that as I’ve been trying to live more rooted in the seasons, there is a different rhythm to be found than the one promoted by our culture today.

All month I have had this deep desire to cozy in, hunker down, create something sustaining in the kitchen for my family, etc. However, the world is trying to tell me January is not the time for what I’m feeling. The world is telling me it’s time to start over, it’s a time when all things become new, it’s a time to strive.

If we look out our windows or go outside, does it seem as if January is really the start of something new? I think the world is off by a few months on this one. (Ahem, that's Spring.)

I don’t know where you are reading from today but here where I am there has been a big thick blanket of snow covering everything in sight for weeks now. We are in the thick of winter. I don’t feel motivated to tackle new weight loss goals or make resolutions. I feel like living quietly with the ones I love. I feel like making bread and planning out my spring garden. I feel like sitting in the comfy chair that overlooks our pond and knitting while I watch the snow fall outside.

I don’t feel like striving in January; I feel like slowing down.

So, that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve been trying to maintain my weight while hunkering down for the winter. I have not been working on losing weight but, I have been working on savoring the treasures to be found in this winter season. As the seasons begin to change I trust I will, too.