I love starting a new year, it’s always so full of energy to make changes and hope for a better future. So many things to plan and organise – my two favourite pass times!

I’ve chosen the word ‘Balance‘ as my word for 2013.

I tend to go from one extreme to another. I’d eat super healthy for a while, then live off junk food when things go wrong. I would be super thrifty for a couple of month, then go on a spending binge. I’d load myself up with work, have no time for personal projects, then dump work for more ‘me time’ when it gets too much.

I know part of these extremes are my Bipolar, but I do think there is a lot I can do to help myself that I’m not doing right now. For starters, expecting such extreme outcomes (such as spending as little money as possible) is just asking for rebounds. Maybe it’s now time to expect a little less perfection, be kinder to myself and gently nudge my way to the person I want to become. If I don’t expect so much in one go, I would have the time and space to grow into simply being better.

In that effort, I’m going to be more focused on working internally this year. Both physically (such as diet) and emotionally.

Saying bye to:

• Artificial sweeteners – I’ve been far too dependent on them since I quit sugar 3 years ago.
• Take aways – we had way too many of those last year.
• Social media – I want to make more meaningful connections with people.

Saying hello to:

• Natural, homemade toiletries and cleaning products.
• Living within my means – I excessively overspent in 2012.
• Healthy and tasty eating – I’m tired of being sick all the time.
• A book project – yeah, it’s time!
• Appreciating small, beautiful things in my life.

I can’t wait to see how 2013 rolls out!

Well, what a year 2012 was! Looking back at 2012, we are amazed at how many great positive changes to our lives in one short year. We both left our old jobs and moved to Edinburgh (on a train!) We settled down quickly into our new and gorgeous city. James got a great job with a really nurturing company, and I found a brilliant mental health charity to volunteer for 2 days a week.

We did a whole lot of travelling this year, almost to make up for my lack of travelling during my 6-year PhD. We were on holiday in total of 49 days in 2012, which is way more than we thought we travelled for! We went to:

• Trip around Scottish Highlands (5 days)
• Centerparcs in Nottingham (12 days)
• Madrid & Salamanca (9 days)
• Toulouse & Barcelona (with mum, 5 days)
• Vienna (with mum, 5 days)
• York (with much, 3 days)
• London (9 days)

It’s been a fantastic year seeing so many places and me having the mental and emotional space in me to take it all in, rather than be preoccupied with writing the thesis. James and I also learned how to travel together, we travelled in extreme minimalist style and really got to know what each other likes to do on holidays.

I learnt a few things about myself too. I really suck at fiction writing and drawing. I took various courses on both fiction writing and drawing/painting classes and I discovered that I really wasn’t interested in either of them. This came as a huge surprise to me, because I thought I liked those things. Turns out that they bore me to death, so I’m onto finding other things.

2013 will be a little quieter than 2012, with less travel and less of making huge changes (such as moving house). I’m hoping to focus more on internal changes, and taking better care of myself.

Then I came to the realisation that all of the goals James and I had set out at the start of the blog, almost a year ago,  are now being put on hold indefinitely. James now has a great job and a chance at having a successful career. Unfortunately, a career is something that flies in the opposite direction to the goals we had before, travelling around the world and being location independent. So we had to make the really hard decision to let go of those goals, at least for the foreseeable feature (= at least several years). It wasn’t an easy decision, one that took us weeks to even say out loud that we were going to let these goals go.

Please don’t think that this is all sacrifice on my part. I really love living in Edinburgh and so am quietly relieved that I don’t have to plan leaving this wonderful city any time soon. I’m thoroughly enjoying my voluntary work, and I have started to attend art classes. It’s not all that bad.

Still, now that those goals are gone, I’m feeling very lost. I don’t think I’ve ever not had a goal before. As I floated from one half hatched goal idea to another, James and I started to grow apart. We weren’t talking like we used to. Instead of talking, we watched films and TV programmes on the laptop.

We sat down and discussed the possibility that without goals, joint goals in which we both take part in, we would slowly grow apart and become mundane and indifferent to each other.

So now, we are on a hunt for a new goal. We don’t know what it is yet, but we’re having fun trying to figure out how to go about searching for a goal.

So what do you do when you find yourself sitting in the pouring Scottish rain instead of the golden sun of Paris? Do you cry? Do you sulk? Do you get angry? Well actually, I am kind of liking it. Having gone through a huge stumbling block, I find myself to have landed firmly on both feet.

On one side, I have my mum who is cooking amazing food every meal for us. We are spending our days visiting galleries and slowly discovering the wonderful city that is Edinburgh. We sit and chat about the past, pick yarn together for my next project, and laugh about the amazing lines my gran used to spurt out (every gran is a professor in classic line delivery). On the other side, I still get to be with James rather than pining for him from the other side of the channels.

I have returned to my volunteer job that I love and I love even more now because I have taken on another role, which is incredibly satisfying as you can really feel that you are making an actual difference to individual people. I have also booked myself on some short courses over the summer (mainly art related), and bought masses of comedy tickets for the Edinburgh festival. I am also hatching plans to take my mum to at least couple places that we had planned for short trips.

In conclusion, I am starting to understand that sometimes, you don’t have to go on an epic journey to find happiness. Sometimes, it comes knocking on your doorstep. I still want to go on a big epic trip, but right now, having my mum and James with me at home is the happiest turn out that I didn’t imagine.

Last Friday, I had my PhD graduation.

It was a very long 6-year road that took me around life’s quirky bends such as Dyslexia, Asperger’s, Bipolar, Anorexia, self harm and my thyroids dying. It was also a much longer journey that saw me from being at the bottom of school classes and being bullied horrendously, to achieving the highest standard in education with some fantastic friends.

If you ever thought having Dyslexia means you can’t write, that is wrong. You can learn to write. I went from flunking essays at school to writing a 100,000 words thesis with very little corrections. If you ever also thought having Dyslexia means you can’t read, that is also wrong. You can learn to love reading, especially if you find exactly what it is that you enjoy reading.

If you ever thought having Asperger’s means you can’t interact with people, you are wrong. You can learn to interact with people. I went from being so awkward that even teachers gave up on me to teaching lecture theatres with 200+ university students.

If you ever thought having Bipolar means you cannot complete a big project because of your manic and depression phases will make it impossible to continue, you are wrong. You can learn to pace yourself and do the work when you can. You can also make your enviroment learn that you are person with some ups and downs that need a little more time and patience.

If you ever thought having mental health and physical health issues mean you have to give up your dream, you are wrong. You can learn to live with them. With the exception of being dead, there is always a way to work around any health issues so that you can achieve your dreams. No hurdle is too big for you to justify throwing your dreams away for.

If you ever thought you can achieve your dream on your own, you are very wrong. It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes a village, a whole university department and an army of family and friends to get you through the rough patches and celebrate your achievements with you.

Don’t ever let naysayers and negative people stop you from going for your big dream. You have to say ‘up yours’ to them quietly in your head as you take the first step towards your goal today, tomorrow and the next day. Then one day, you will be able to say ‘UP YOURS, I did it!’ at the top of your lung to the world.

Streets behind Plaza Major

We had five days in Madrid in June. June turned out to be a great time to visit Madrid as it was warm but not too hot. A thin cardigan for the morning and late evenings, and tank tops for during the day. Madrid was fantastic for so many reasons. Great food, great art, lots of street artists, and serendipity.

On our first full day, we took a 3-hour walking tour, which was both interesting and very useful in getting your bearings around the city. Our guide was very good, although he had some very strange conversations with us when we were walking from one place to another. I still highly recommend doing one of these ‘free but tip the guide at the end’ walking tours as they are incredible value for money and the guides are very good.

We had many accidental good lucks whilst in Madrid. We went to Reina Sofia on a Sunday without knowing that it is free on a Sunday as it closes at 2:30pm. We also went to Prado on the first day of their Raphael exhibition. There was a large queue outside for what we thought was to buy the tickets to the Raphael exhibition. We were not *too* bothered about it (not enough to queue that long in the hot sun) so we bought ‘normal’ tickets to see the rest of Prado from an automated machine with no queue. Once inside, we discovered that our queue-free machine bought tickets also got us into the special exhibition.

Renie Sofia

We took it pretty slow in Madrid, so we only did the walking tour, the bus tour, Renie Sofia, Prado and the Royal Palace. We spend the rest of the time basically stuffing ourselves with jamon, figs and other delicious food of Madrid. We particularly liked Museo de Jamon for their €2.50 per person breakfast of jamon and cheese croissant and coffee. Their €1 coffee was hard to beat.

Here are few tips that we learnt along the way:

• If you book a taxi to pick you up late at night from the airport, have a plan B. Our taxi didn’t turn up but I had jotted down details of the airport bus so there was no major panic. However, if I hadn’t, it would’ve been a huge stress at midnight when there’s no one to help you!
• If you take the metro to the airport, you need to buy a special airport taxed metro ticket, which is €4.50 per person (€3 airport tax). Don’t buy the normal €1.50 ticket.
• Pack ear plugs. Madrid is a noisy city and buildings are designed to keep cool but fails at insulating any noise. If you want a good night sleep you will NEED ear plugs.
• There is a archaeological display inside the Opera Metro station. You will need a metro ticket to get in, so I would recommend stopping off at Opera station en route to somewhere else. That way it won’t cost you any extra.
• If you wash your clothes, do it before siesta, and your clothes will be dry by the end of the seista.
• Don’t plan to cram too much into your day. seistas are absolutely necessary in the Spanish heat. Plan to get up early and do something in the morning, have a late lunch, take a nap, then go and enjoy yourself in the evening with good food.

The biggest stress factor is obviously getting our flat ready for my mum. We’ve been cleaning the house with a fine tooth comb (sometimes literally) so as to pass the ‘mother inspection’. This is the first time she is going to be staying over night with me. She has visited three places of abode  before but the first two she refused to stay over at (because I shared with a boyfriend and she didn’t approve of that at the time) and the third I didn’t arrange for her to because, you know, she did refuse the first two times. I am worrying about everything from what food to have in and whether we need to buy new towels.

I’ve also been putting extra hours in at my voluntary work. I know it’s voluntary but I can’t be casual about any work I do, so I have been doing extra to ensure that my part of the project is completed in the best possible way before I abandon them for 2 and half months. I will sorely miss my friends there as they are just the most amazing bunch of people.

My genius plan of learning the very basics of 5 languages I’ll need for the trip in 5 weeks have been totally abandoned. I managed to get through French and Spanish, but I crashed at the Italian. I don’t know if it was because I wanted to learn Italian too badly, or that it’s simply the curse of the ‘third language is always the hardest’. I am finding it difficult to keep all the words I learn for each language compartmentalised. In my brain, ‘please’ is now ‘por favor’ in any language. I’ll try and learn some more on the road.

My ‘roughly planned route’ have been changing almost daily. I’d speak to someone about a wonderful city they have been to or see a film about somewhere and I am flipping through the Thomas Cook European Rail Timetable book again, finding out how to get there. Some cities have been abandoned (for example, Geneva because my entire reason for going there – the Red Cross Museum – is under renovation until 2013) and others have been added (Toulouse, Marseilles).

Even though I have spent countless hours pouring over my luggage already, I continue to waste time staring at it, trying to shave an item or two in order to get rid of 100 more grams. My backpack now weighs 4.6kg fully packed, but its weight is like that of a really bad yo-yo dieter. I keep taking things out, putting them back in, rinse and repeat. I am also petrified of seeing what my mother is planning to take with her ever since she informed me that she’s bought a 40 Litre backpack.

One great thing that has come out of this is that my mother and I are both putting far more effort into communicating with each other and supporting each other through our character flaws. I fessed up during one three-and-half-hour-conversation on the phone to her that I will very loudly implode and have a melt down if I have to make all the decisions all the time. Yes, I am a decision maker but I need a break from it every few days. I feel enormous pressure to get it right and that some how the world will end if I make the wrong decision. She agreed to make some of the decisions so as to not to overwhelm me, but pointed out that I need to a) learn to be more relaxed about getting stuff wrong and b) that I will have to suck it up if she makes a decision I don’t like. Thank goodness for the wise wisdom of mothers that sees right through their daughters.

Our roughly planned route

Since I announced my 2-months train trip around Europe with my mum, I’ve had a lot of questions from readers and people I speak to about it. So here are some of the most frequently asked questions and their answers.

The trip

When are you going? – From 16th July to 16th September – it comes to total of 63 days.

Where are you going? – Although nothing is concrete, we have a rough idea of cities we want to visit. Paris, Lourdes, Madrid, Barcelona, Marseille, Geneva, Zermatt and St Moritz (for the Glacier Express), Milan, Pisa, Rome, Florence, Venice, Vienna, Salzburg, Munich, Berlin and Amsterdam.

Why are you only going to Western Europe? – My mum hasn’t really travelled around Europe. Added to that she doesn’t speak much English or any other language means she’s not yet a confident traveller, so we are sticking to where she feels a little more comfortable.

How are you travelling? – By everything but a plane. We’re using the train from my home town of Edinburgh and all the way round Europe. I’m sure we’ll be using lots of buses and metro too and we’ll be taking the ferry home from Amsterdam to the UK. We didn’t really set out for this to be ‘no-plane’ challenge, but I really hate travelling, mum loves the train and more freedom in what we take means it’s the best option for us.

Are you using a rail pass? – Yes, mum has the 2-months unlimited Eurail pass and I have 2 x 10-day in 22 days Interail pass.

You’re not travelling on the same pass? – No. As a non-EU resident my mum is eligible to the Eurail pass which is considerably cheaper than the Interrail pass. Me, on the other hand, being a EU resident am only eligible to the Interail pass. In terms of price, mum’s 2-months unlimited pass (60 days of train travel) costs less than my 2 x 10-days in 22 days passes (20 days of train travel).

Traveling minimalist style

How much stuff are you taking? – As mentioned in my packing list, I’m taking an 18 litre backpack and a 4 litre hand bag (see it in action in this post) for a total of 22 litres of luggage space. There’s still plenty of room so I am currently toying with the idea of swapping out the handbag for a Packsafe hip pack.

Why are you taking so little? – Life is just a whole lot easier if you can travel ultra light. Getting on and off transport is easier,  you can walk for longer, and pack up faster in each hotel. It also makes you more flexible – say if your train arrives early in the morning (as you tend to with sleeper trains) you can just do some sight seeing with your luggage rather than having to find a hotel or a locker to dump your luggage first. Travelling with just a small backpack is also safer as you’re not forced to leave your luggage in the luggage holder far away from your seat on buses and trains.

How are you going to survive with so little stuff? – Only having one spare trousers and two spare tops is not as bad as it sounds. If you can just spend 5 minutes each day washing your clothes in the hotel sink, you can actually do with just one spare set of clothes in the summer as I did on my 10-day trip to Spain recently. So taking two sets of spare clothes is actually more than enough. Besides the clothes, I have my toiletries, medication and stationery, what more can a girl need? I’m not taking any make up with me, but that’s because I don’t own any!

Is this the first time you are travelling minimalist? – No, I’ve been travelling ultra-light for just over a year now. I’ve done a 5-day trip to Isle of Skye, another 5-day trip around the Scottish Highlands, 9-day trip to Vienna and Brussels and my most recent 10-day trip to Spain with my 4 litre Packsafe Citysafe 100 handbag. I also did a 2-week trip around UK in spring with a 15 litre bag. Once you go ultra-light, it’s hard to go back because your eyes are opened to how easy travelling can be. If you are thinking of going ultra minimalist for a big trip, I highly recommend taking one or two smaller trips beforehand to test out your gear and fine tune your packing list.

Why don’t you take a wheeled case? Won’t they be easier to carry? – Yes wheeled cases are superb for taking the weight off your luggage but I have several reasons why I personally don’t like them:

1. They have a massive desire to hit every seat along the isle of the train/plane/bus, annoying any passengers sitting in the victimised seats.
2. No matter how small the cases are, you are forced to put them in the luggage holder on buses and trains, far away from your actual seat. You have to then spend the entire duration of your journey hawk-eyeing your luggage and panicking at each stop because you think someone is going to take your luggage.
3. They act like a drunken idiot when you are trying to pull them over a cobbled street – loud and stumbling around the pavement – and there are lot of cobbled streets in Europe.
4. They encourage you to take more stuff since wheeled cases tend to only come in one or two sizes.

The people

You and your mum must be real close to be travel for 2 months? – Emotionally yes, but but we’ve also spent 22 years of my 32 year life living on the other side of the world from each other. Since I was 10 years old, I have lived in the UK (going to a boarding school then a string of universities) whilst my family lived in Japan. We speak to each other on the phone weekly, but we haven’t really spent any time with each other. The longest we’ve ever spent 24-hours a day with each other has been 10 days.

Aren’t you two going to fall out? – Yes. We’re two very strong minded women, who like their own spaces and never lived at close quarters with each other. Of course we’re going to fall out! But beyond falling out, with lots of patience, will come a deeper understanding of each other, deeper connection to each other and one heck of an amazing experience together. Either that or we’ll kill each other – either way, we can whole heatedly say we tried!

Is James not going with you? – No, he’s unsurprisingly not able to take 2 whole months off work to travel with us as much as I would so love him to. He will however be flying out to visit us on three weekends, which will make being away from him a little more bearable.

What about your dad? – You know, I thought I’d never say this but for the first time in my life I can whole hearted say it’s useful to have a dad that has a secret second family. My father had set up and maintained two families for decades (which I found out about 5 years ago). Although this has caused countless hardships and heart aches, my mother has turned the situation around and told him to go and stay with his other family. So that’s where he’ll be for the 3 months she is away from home.

And finally

What are you most looking forward to? – Food, art and really getting to know the woman that is my mother. I know my mother well but only in her role as my mother. I am dying to get to know the person that is behind that character. I want to know what her likes and dislikes her when she doesn’t’ have to make decision based on the fact that she is a wife and a mother. I’m also looking forward to learning about travelling for extended periods of time as it’ll be a great learning opportunity for James and mine big travel-around-the-world plan.

What are you most worried about? – Getting on with my mother, not quitting half way through, being away from James, having to do all the travel arrangement, having to translate for my mother all the time, dealing with her hatred for having to rely on anyone (this has caused us some big issues in our past travels), and getting tired of travelling for so long.

Do you have any other questions about the big trip?

Me with my one and only luggage (and a little friend) for the 10-day trip

We just got back from a 10-day trip to Madrid and Salamanca and I took the above shot whilst unpacking my handbag. I travel with just my Packsafe Citysafe 100 (a 4 litre handbag) for most trips in the summer with the bare minimum stuff. As you can see on the photo above, it’s not a large bag by any stretch of the imagination, but it does pack a lot in. Here is my minimalist packing list for 10-days summer trip.

What went into my bag

(from top to bottom, left to right)

• Mobile phone
• Liquids bag with contacts, moisturiser, deodorant, sunblock and laundry detergent
• Eye drops
• Lip balm
• A packet of tissues
• European to USB plug
• Quod pod that can charge my mobile and my ipod touch
• A wide scarf
• 2 sporks
• 2 shopping bags
• Wallet
• Moo card case with moo cards
• 2 pens
• tooth brush
• Moleskine notebook (pocket, plain)
• ipod touch (aka my life saver)
• Spare SD cards
• Spare camera batteries
• Sweetners
• Medical pouch with basics
• Spare Icebreaker tank top
• Spare underwear (not in photo)

This is pretty much my standard set of things I would pack for a short holiday in summer. I used every item I packed, with the exception of the packet of tissues.

The scarf was surprisingly useful. I wore it daily, in the mornings, evening and when indoors (I tend to cough when I am hit by air conditioning). It’s a long strip of scarf, which was really versatile and I had lots of fun arranging it in many ways. When going through an area famous for pick pocketting, I wrapped it around my waist and covered up my trouser pockets. When I wasn’t using it I wrapped it around the strap of my bag, which covered over my bag zip and added some more security to my handbag.

ipod is THE way to travel – I ran our whole trip off the ipod touch. We didn’t take any guide books or maps with us. I did some research before the trip (such as at least two ways of getting from the airport to the hotel), loaded up the ipod with guide books, translation apps, and guide apps with detailed maps. We were given maps of each area without even asking for them when we got to the hotels. That was plenty for us to get by and get information on anything we wanted to know.

What I wore

• Northface convertible trousers
• A tank top
• A fleece (only whilst in Edinburgh!)
• Underwear (no socks)
• Keens sandals
• Sunglasses

Only one pair of trousers – I was a little worried about only taking one pair of trousers with me, but the convertible trousers dried in just few hours so I was able to wash them every 3 days and dry them overnight without any problems. Nevertheless, I was still uncomfortable with no backup trousers, so I think I will take shorts or something next time.

Super quick drying time – Everything item of clothing I took washed really well and dried within just few hours in the warm Spanish weather. We got into a routine of doing the laundry at the start of the siesta. By the end of the siesta, they were pretty much bone dry. I highly recommend getting into this siesta washing routine, particularly if you get fully committed to eating out really late at night, leaving you with little time & energy to do the laundry.

What’s not in the photo

• Camera
• Ear plugs – real life saver in very noisy Salamanca

Thank goodness for ear plugs – Was I glad I packed 2 pairs of ear plugs? Oh heck yes. Salamanca turned out to be unusually noisy (combination of hotel right next to Plaza Major, Euro 2012 football matches and 4 nights of free concerts in Plaza Major). The ear plugs really saved our sanity, particularly on the last night when we had a looooong day of travelling to do the next day.

What I didn’t carry but used

• Bar of soap – shared with James
• Multi-vitamins – shared with James
• Razors – bought in Madrid

I could’ve cut a small piece of soap and wrap it in cling film, and took my own pouch of multi-vitamins to fit into my handbag but it seemed a little redundant, so we shared them (i.e. James carried them in his ruck sack).

Lessons learnt from this trip

Pack your favourites first – I forgot to pack my cotton ear buds. I go crazy if I get itchy ears and so cotton ear buds are an absolute necessity for me. I can’t believe I forgot to pack them! Always put items that might not be necessary (so you’re more likely to forget them) but cannot live without first into your bag.

Rucksacks are safer than wheeled cases – it’s tempting to take a wheeled case because it takes the weight of your luggage off you. However, having been on planes, trains, tubes and buses, on this trip, they are perhaps not the safest option. Often, people with the wheeled cases had to put them in a seperate holding area, away from their seats. If you take a (reasonably sized) rucksack instead, you will be able to have it with you, under your seat, on your knees or on the overhead shelf. It just makes for a far more relaxing journey when you don’t have to worry about someone running off with your stuff at every stop.

What are you packing for your summer holiday?