Goatload.com

Who writes checks?!

(goatload) — Sat, 31 May 2008 19:46:00 +0000

I was in Target today buying some miscellaneous items. After filling my basket with the goods I came to get, I headed over to the cashier with the shortest line. The couple in front of me didn’t have too many items so I figured this wouldn’t take too long. Good job pickin’ the right line I told myself. I usually pick the worst lines to get in. It never fails, I can get in the shortest line, but I’ll end up right behind someone who’s arguing over a thirty cent coupon that’s not getting applied. This time was no different, although not due to a crappy coupon. The couple was paying for their stuff with a personal check.

It totally reminds me of those Visa check card commercials where everything comes to a grinding halt as someone tries to pay with cash instead of a checkcard. Paying with a check is even worse than that. Who pays for things in public with checks?! Sure, pay your bills with a check �? if the whole online bill-pay thing is too much of a convenience for you �? but WHY on earth would you pay for groceries or goods from a store with a personal check? You gotta wait for the total amount to be rung up, then fill out the date, the amount, then write out the amount, then sign the check (we all know how checks work). If you’re truly insane, you might even write something in the memo line so when you get the check back in the mail from your bank, you’ll be reminded of how you bought toilet paper and a three-pack of underwear from Target.

Friggin’ get a credit card or a debit/check card! The convenience won’t kill you. I promise.

Parking Wars

(goatload) — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 13:58:00 +0000

Hollywood must be COMPLETELY out of ideas. I was flipping channels looking for something to watch, and came across a show called Parking Wars on A&E. It’s a reality show that follows meter maids, as they give parking tickets. Are you serious? WHO is watching this show?! Giving parking tickets is NOT exciting stuff. The craziest it got, was at one point, a guy who had just gotten a ticket, came out of the store he was in, and contested he shouldn’t have gotten a ticket since he was right there. He had the meter maid call his supervisor over, so she drove down and explained to him he’s an idiot.

Then, they switched gears a little and followed people whose job it is to boot cars. One guy ran out of his house while his car was being booted and claimed the license plate on the car was not his, that it was his sister’s. So his argument was that the parking tickets that were associated with that license plate were not his, and therefore his car shouldn’t be getting booted. Needless to say, the gentleman was quite irate, as I’m sure his story was the complete truth. I often have my brother’s license plates on my car. It’s just what you do, and the parking authorities should be more lenient. For realz.

This is ground breaking television people, although I can’t wait till the premiere of “Watch Paint Dry” airs next week! Now THAT show is gonna have some craziness!

Blech.

Blu-Ray vs. HD-DVD

(goatload) — Sat, 5 Jan 2008 16:42:00 +0000

I LOVE watching HD content on my HD TV at home. I’ve become a bit of a snob about it, in that it annoys me greatly when a show I watch isn’t shown in HD. I love watching DVDs on my widescreen TV as well, but haven’t yet made the jump to hi-definition DVDs. Which way do I go? HD DVD? Blu-Ray? The latest format war has been waging for quite a while now, with no clear winner emerging. It’s been a head-to-head fight.

However, a recent exclusivity announcement by Warner Bros. may affect the outcome of this battle. WB recently announced that they would go exclusively with Blu-Ray. Up until now, they had been releasing movies in both hi-definition formats, and will continue to do so until May, after which they will only release videos in the Blu-Ray format. It is being speculated that New Line Cinema and HBO might follow suit (they are both subsidiaries of Warner) very soon.

This doesn’t mean HD DVD’s dead any time soon, though. This past summer, it was announced that both Paramount and Dreamworks were going exclusive with HD DVD.

Despite each camp having their own exclusive supporters, Blu-Ray has held the market share since the beginning as you can see by the above graphic. This is also intriguing because Blu-Ray players are more expensive than HD DVD players. Even after massive price cuts around the holiday season for HD DVD players, that camp is unable to break 40% for market share in any given week.

I anxiously await for one of these formats to emerge victoriously. I’m hesitant to buy a player one way or the other just yet, as I’m sure that purchase will ultimately lead to the demise of whatever format I chose. That’s the kind of luck I have. Hopefully one of the formats wins soon...

Keep away from fire

(goatload) — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 18:02:00 +0000

I noticed this tag on several of the burp/washcloths we have. Keep away from fire? Why is it necessary to put such a warning on a small piece of square fabric? They’re basically mini towels, so why don’t towels have these warnings? I mean, if you’re gonna put it on something like a washcloth, I would think you’d have to put it on most everything. I’m pretty sure my couch should be kept away from fire, yet there is no such warning on my couch.

What about my underwear? I sure as hell don’t want my undies in a fire, nor should they be... but again, no warning.

Socks, yogurts, garbage bags, purses, backpacks, articles of clothing, diapers, etc... All things I have around the house whose labels don’t warn you about keeping said item away from fires. Perhaps I should assume those things CAN be near fires... but our burpcloths should NOT be.

I’m gonna have to assume somewhere, someone incredibly stupid used a washcloth as kindling or something, and thus a new warning was born. Most “stupid” things in life, as far as laws/rules/warnings, are generally due to someone’s stupidity at some point. There’s no other explanation.

It really is mind boggling that this warning is on a stupid washcloth.

Hybrid Ford Escape commercial featuring illiterate daughter

(goatload) — Sun, 2 Dec 2007 15:27:00 +0000

This commercial is incredibly stupid... well, more specifically, the daughter in this commercial is incredibly stupid. Apparently, this family lives near some uppity neighborhood (like San Francisco¹) where driving around in “non-hybrid” cars is incredibly uncool. The daughter tells her dad to drop her off a block away from her intended destination (the theater, ooooooh, wonder what movie she’s going to see... An Inconvenient Truth maybe?).

It becomes clear that their car is a hybrid (as indicated by the word “Hybrid” clearly emblazoned on the back of the car). Clearly, this guy’s daughter is an illiterate moron (I hope the movie she’s going to see doesn’t have subtitles). Her father has to tell her, “well, this is a Hybrid”. And she’s surprised, and asks why he never talks about it. Maybe because he’s not a snotty piece of crap, and doesn’t need to talk about it. Maybe because he assumed you could read, and would’ve realized at some point during ownership of this vehicle, that it SAYS Hybrid on the back (and who knows where else).

Given the writer’s strike going on right now, you’d think this commercial was written post-strike by some scabs. What a ridiculously retarded commercial. What pile of crap ad agency wrote this nonsense? And what morons at Ford thought to themselves after being pitched this garbage, “Yeah! This is totally how suburban families behave. I know I had this same exact conversation with MY daughter just last week! I love it! Let’s film it and get it on the air! We’ll be selling Escape Hybrids like hot cakes in NO time!”

To lose 35 seconds of your life forever and see this mess of a commercial, click play below...

¹ Anyone see that episode of South Park?

Cherry Chocolate Rain

(goatload) — Sat, 1 Dec 2007 15:44:00 +0000

Oh... My... God...

You have GOT to be kidding me... Besides the fact that this “ad” is ludicrous, the idea of a Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper sounds pretty gross.

I guess Tay Zonday’s 15 minutes aren’t quite up yet, although, they should be after this...

Stuffed Animal Chase

(goatload) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 23:12:03 +0000

I recently purchased a new HD camcorder and this video marks my directorial debut... a film I call “Stuffed Animal Chase”. The film is 8.9 seconds long, so don’t blink, or you might miss a critical part and the ending will leave you wondering, “What the hell happened?”

Without further ado, I present to you... in Hi Definition and Dolby Digital Surround Sound... Stuffed Animal Chase starring Ellie the elephant and Rainbow the gay bunny...

Boob Cushion

(goatload) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 11:41:18 +0000

I saw this on Gizmodo, and couldn’t NOT post it here. It’s a boob cushion!

A cushion... shaped like a boob... complete with eyes and a nipple.

The japanese rule.

Buy your very own boob cushion here!

Cigarette warnings from Ireland

(goatload) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 09:14:00 +0000

A few of us from the office were out having drinks with our VP who was in town from our Dublin, Ireland office. She is a smoker, and had this pack of Silk Cut cigarettes. I was greatly amused by the warnings printed on the pack. Not only does the warning take up almost half the pack (on both sides), but they’re a joy to read.

On one side of the pack, in giant lettering, we have “Smoking can cause a slow and painful death”. Peachy. On the other side of the pack, we have “Smoking seriously harms you and others around you”. That one’s not as good as the first one.

I have to imagine that the warnings have to be a little more effective there than they are here when they’re so in your face like that. Here, they’re printed on the narrow side of the pack in smaller lettering. You have to pretty much go out of your way to read it, whereas with the european packs, you can’t not read it.

Interesting, is all.

Stupid Boston radio station commercial

(goatload) — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 22:51:00 +0000

This stupid commercial for Mike 93.7 FM has been on TV here in the Boston area for quite a while now. I absolutely HATE it. Everytime I have to sit through it, I want to kill myself. What the hell is the point of the commercial? The video content doesn’t align at ALL with what they’re advertising. It’s not like their tagline is “Mike 93.7, makes you get naked and dance with your co-workers!” or “Listen to Mike 93.7! It’ll infect you with Naked Dancing Syndrome!”

Why the hell are people in an office setting stripping down to their skivvies and dancing to horrible pop music? After seeing this commercial, WHY would I want to listen to Mike 93.7?! Nothing in this commercial sells me on the station, not even the pregnant woman whipping off her top as her belly flies around the screen, which is actually slightly creepy to me... WTF?!

Blech...

Feistalicious

(goatload) — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 22:35:00 +0000

Damn the latest iPod commercial! Ever since I first saw it, I couldn’t get that song outta my head. I eventually figured out that the song is called 1234 by an artist named Feist. I really dig this song, and every time I see the commercial, it’s in my head for hours. I also dig the video for the song. It’s kinda unique and fun to watch. Check it out below...

The interesting thing here is that I unknowingly knew a song by Feist already. A little while ago, a friend of mine told me to listen to a song called Gatekeeper. I listened to it, and aside from thinking she was saying Gaykeeper, I thought it was alright. Fast-forward to a few days ago, I was chatting with this same friend about how I love this 1234 song, and he goes on to tell me that it’s the same artist that sang Gatekeeper. I’m all like, no way dude! Oh-mah-gawd!

Gatekeeper too mellow for ya? Try the slightly more upbeat remixed version!

Southwest Stinks!

(goatload) — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 16:57:00 +0000

We’ve all heard the story about Kyla Ebbert (pictured) being asked to cover up on a Southwest flight for being “underdressed”. Well, now there’s a second person who encountered a similar situation. This time, Setara Qassim was asked if she had a sweater she could wear over her dress. She didn’t, and so she had to wear a blanket wrapped around her during the flight.

This has gone too far... I’ve never flown Southwest before, but I can say with absolute certainty that I never will. Unless they want to make dress code a part of their official policy, they have NO right to harrass people like this over what they’re wearing. Let’s take the lovely lady pictured here. She’s basically covered everywhere she should be. Are people crawling between her legs to look up her skirt? You’re not gonna see anything unless you’re actually under her! She’s not even showing any cleavage!

These people aren’t naked! Let them fly dressed however they want! If they’re actually naked, fine, go ahead and say something. They’re not breaking any laws being dressed how they are. Next thing you know people won’t be allowed in cabs, trains, doctor’s office waiting rooms, McDonald’s, gas station mini-marts, etc. because they’re dressed “too provocatively”. Where does it end? We have general laws surrounding dress, and they basically say don’t walk around naked.

What the hell is there to be offended by, any way? People dressing “like this” is not offensive. These women were asked to cover up by the flight attendants. What kind of asshat person are you, that you would actually get offended by what they’re wearing? How about you just friggin’ relax, unless you have a plane full of people complaining about something. Do your stupid job, serve drinks & peanuts, and shut the hell up.

Must be Southwest’s official policy to hire asshats. I believe that this country doesn’t have a place for such policies. I hope people stop flying Southwest, and the airline goes under... never to be heard from again.

Genesis Concert

(goatload) — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:42:00 +0000

Mulva and Dolores experienced their first concert last night. We went to see Genesis at the TD Banknorth Garden here in Boston. I’ve always loved Genesis, going all the way back to their inception with Peter Gabriel. Their style has changed vastly over the years, but they covered the old and the new last night with absolutely amazing musicanship. Those guys are so much older now, and to see them play for a little over two and a half hours with such energy was amazing!

I saw Phil Collins in concert many years ago, and he was phenomenal. That man has so much energy during his live show, it literally tires you out just watching him. He’s a fantastic showman, and last night he showed that he still has it in him. Phil’s also an amazing drummer, and while I didn’t get to see him drum too much during his solo show years ago, last night he drummed a lot! It was awesome to see him drum alongside their touring drummer during songs as well as during what amounted to be one of the greatest drum solos I’ve ever seen¹.

BTW, this was the best picture I could get with the crappy camera on my cell phone...

Update: Couple things, Phil told us that their very first concert in the US, was in Boston at Brandeis University. I thought that was interesting and cool. Also, here’s the setlist from the show:
Behind The Lines / Duke�?s End
Turn It On Again
No Son Of Mine
Land Of Confusion
In The Cage / The Cinema Show / Duke�?s Travels
Afterglow
Hold On My Heart
Home By The Sea
Follow You Follow Me
Firth Of Fifth / I Know What I Like
Mama
Ripples
Throwing It All Away
Domino
Drum Duet
Los Endos
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight
Invisible Touch

Encore:
I Can�?t Dance
The Carpet Crawlers

¹ I dare you to use “drum” six times in two consecutive sentences! DO IT!

Controversial Clearasil Ads

(goatload) — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 18:11:00 +0000

Clearasil has caused some controversy with a recent series of ads, with the tag line “Clearasil may cause confidence”. Apparently many parents are outraged with the ads, and don’t want them airing anymore. I’ve seen a bunch of them, and personally I think they’re fine; clearly, intended to be humorous, and not advocating anything. There was one, though, that I found slightly disturbing (the one embedded below). While I’m not offended by it or anything, I just think it’s weird and creepy.

I think everyone needs to just relax and freak out about things worth freaking out about. Not harmless Clearasil ads. It’s ludicrous how sensitive people are these days. Anything and everything is cause for censorship nowadays, and it blows my mind.

CHILLAX¹ PEOPLE!

Anyway, check out the commercial, and let me know what you think...

¹ God I hate this word...

Heineken Draught Keg Commercial

(goatload) — Thu, 6 Sep 2007 22:05:57 +0000

When I first saw this commercial, I thought it was really stupid... but then, the next thing I knew, the stupid song was in my head with no signs of leaving. Now I love this commercial... I have NO idea why. I don’t even LIKE Heineken! Every time I see it, though, I’m mesmerized by it both visually and aurally. Both the images and the song get stuck in my head for hours.

Not sure what this proves though... great commercial, but I still don’t want to drink Heineken.