God, Geordanna, Endometriosis (and everything in between)

It's like I'm living her life...

2012-02-08T13:55:00.001-06:00

*God*

I KNOW that God is good. I KNOW that God is wise. I KNOW that God is love. And I KNOW that God's will and purposes are formed in perfect goodness and perfect wisdom and perfect love. I know this, and I accept His purposes for my life. But that doesn't stop the pain. And that doesn't stop the questions. Why did He create life in me when I wasn't even trying to conceive and then wait just long enough for me to fall in love with my babies and then take them right out of my womb? Why?

Loss after loss I've asked the same questions. And loss after loss I've received the same answer--Trust Me. Love Me. I am here.

Yes, I trust You. Yes, I love You. Yes, I know that You are here. But...

Do you ever want to ask God to leave you alone? To let you live your life in peace? I do, or at least a part of me does. A part of me wants to beg God not to teach me His ways, not to mold me to His likeness, not to use me in His service. But then I think, what would life be like without Him? Would there be less pain? I don't think so, life is painful, with or without Him. I just wouldn't have Him to comfort, guide, and carry me. Would there be more peace? No, life is chaotic, with or without Him. I just wouldn't have Him to shelter me in the storms. Would there be more hope? Impossible, life is short and has a clearly marked dead-end without Him. He is hope. He is my only hope.

*Where to go from here?*

Every time I conceive a new life in my womb, my heart expands exponentially to create a home for that child and my mind stretches wide open to welcome a new life into my life. Every time I lose a baby from my womb, my heart and mind are left with a gaping emptiness I don't know how to fill. In the past I've taken those spaces and filled them with hope for 'the next time.' Now, after growing space in my heart and mind for three babies at once and losing them all, I'm left with such a huge emptiness that I feel lost inside of it. But my husband and I weren't planning on having any more children. God planned these babies, not us. So now what do I do? If there is no hope for 'the next time' to fill this hole, to focus those aimless thoughts in the night, to hold the pieces of my heart together, then what do I do with those thoughts and the frayed edges of my broken heart? I don't know. I really don't.

How can I feel so safe in God's arms, so sure of the rightness of His purposes, so certain of the wisdom of His will, and still feel so lost?

I don't know. I really don't.

*Job*

Have you ever read the book of Job in the Bible? It's always been a book I struggled through and didn't really like. It's all about loss and unwanted advice from family and hurtful comments from friends and the reality of God being God. But it's the story every woman who miscarries can relate to. You know what I'm talking about. We've all heard--"That's just nature's way of getting rid of something that didn't grow right." and "It's not like you lost an actual child." And, from the 'churchfolk'--"You shouldn't feel empty. God is all you need." and "God needed your babies more than you did." What I like about the book of Job is that God didn't get mad at Job for asking questions and for wailing out his pain. But God did get mad at Job's friends who acted like they were speaking for God, like they knew why God did things and how God thought. When people make those comments and when they tell me how I 'should' feel, I just remember Job and those comments lose their sting completely (well, almost completely).

*What it's okay to say*

Here are some suggestions for you friends and family members out there who need a little guidance on how to communicate with a mother who's just lost a baby.

"I'm sorry."
"What can I do to help?"
"I don't know what to say."
"I'm hurting so much for you."
"I'm praying for you."

And don't let a day go by for the first couple of weeks that you don't say one or more of those things. It's pretty much all she can think of at that point, and you not mentioning it keeps her silent in a world of pain she doesn't know how to share. Don't try to make her talk, just let her know it's okay if she wants to.

'what NOT to say':
"You can always adopt."
"You're young. You can always try again."(Would you go to a funeral and tell the grieving widow, "You can always just get married again"?)
"At least it happened early." (A loss is a loss, minimizing it is not supportive, just hurtful.)

God bless.

*Anger*

I debated about whether to include this part or not, but, in the interest of complete honesty, I had to. I know that anger is one of the stages of grief, but it is the hardest stage for me because I'm a peacemaker, and anger always seems wrong to me...especially when it's God I'm angry with.

Anyway, here goes...after another night of sorrow, I suddenly woke up ANGRY, not a little angry, but really, really MAD--at God. I tried to hide it, even from myself, but it kept seeping and oozing out and when I got a phone call from our realtor that the buyer had backed out of our contract, I lost it. I cried and ranted and raved at God. And once the anger started flowing, there was no stopping it. I spent the whole day in tears, asking God what He was thinking, where He was in all this, if He really thought I deserved to be tortured, why everything seemed intentionally designed to make my loss as painful as possible, and when He was going to finally decide I'd had enough and LEAVE ME ALONE! And, you know what, I discovered some things. First, I discovered that I didn't just suddenly get angry; I'd been simmering for days and just wouldn't admit it to myself or God. Second, I discovered anew that I truly am a sinful person capable of being about as unlovely and petty and spiteful as the next sinner. Third, I discovered that God loves me just as I am. He wasn't surprised by my anger because He knew what was in my heart all along. Fourth, I discovered that pouring out the anger in my heart was the ultimate act of trust. God said in His word that we couldn't escape from His love and that He loved us while we were yet sinners. Trusting Him with my anger was trusting Him to be who He said He was and trusting Him to do what He said He would. And fifth, I discovered that by being willing, finally, to trust God and walk through this part of the valley, the healing could begin. As I released the anger I'd been hiding in my heart, peace seeped in to take it's place. That is the gift of God, peace that passes understanding. And I could finally begin to receive that gift when I fully trusted God with all that I am, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.

I know I have a long, long way to go. But a subtle shift has taken place in my soul. I still cry at night and I still hurt all the time, but I am living again, feeling again, moving forward again. And that ever-resilient hope, so fragile, so easily crushed and broken, has risen again.

God bless.

All roads lead to God?

2012-02-07T08:49:00.001-06:00

“Remember, the people who know me are the ones who are free to live and love without any agenda." -Jesus

Is that what it means to be a Christian?" -Mack

Who said anything about being a Christian? I'm not a Christian." -Jesus

The idea struck Mack as odd and unexpected and he couldn't keep himself from grinning. "No, I suppose you aren't."

They arrived at the door of the workshop. Again Jesus stopped. "Those who love me come from every system that exists. They were Buddhists or Mormons, Baptists or Muslim, Democrats, Republicans, and many who don't vote or are not part of any Sunday morning religious institutions. I have followers who were murderers and many who were self-righteous. Some were bankers and bookies, Americans and Iraquis, Jews and Palistinians. I have no desire to make them Christian, but I do want to join them in their transformation into sons and daughters of God, into my brothers and sisters, into my Beloved."

Does that mean," asked Mack, "that all roads will lead to you?"

Not at all," smiled Jesus as he reached for the door handle to the shop. "Most roads don't lead anywhere. What it does mean is that I will travel any road to find you.”

-------

What it does mean is that I will travel any road to find you

Joy in all

2012-01-31T09:32:00.001-06:00

God wants us to trust Him in every circumstance. Trust is letting go, knowing that God is more than enough. Trust is obedience because what I do reveals what I believe about God regardless of what I say. I don’t think God wastes His direction on a disobedient heart but does, in fact, reveal His plans to those who will obey them. Trust and obedience go hand in hand. The more we obey, the more we will trust and the more we trust, the more we will obey, understanding that He is indeed Lord of all. The result is joy.

As Christians, we should be the most joyful people on earth, heart and soul at rest, because we serve the God of all circumstances.

When we fail to faithfully and continually seek God, we will likely forfeit our joy to human idols and lifeless activities in which we often exchange holiness for tolerance. No wonder we sometimes find life impotent and dismal when it should be powerful and filled with unshakable joy. We are to be vessels containing, and naturally spilling out, the joy of the Lord on those in our lives. That joy is our strength and the salt that makes others thirst to know Him more. Instead of focusing on what is wrong in life, we need to look on the “right” side of life.

Living in the Rain

2012-01-25T08:41:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was such a beautiful day here in Dallas then almost instantly the sky got dark and I could hear the thunder and see the lightening before the rain came. It's been raining HARD for almost a full day. I have always loved the rain but today I love it for so much more...

Today's Scripture

"Just as the rain and snow descend from the skies and don't go back until they've watered the earth, making things grow and blossom…so will the words that come out My mouth not come back empty-handed. They'll do the work I sent them to do" (Isaiah 55:10-11, Message).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Rain is symbolic of God's blessing, favor, and refreshing. His Word is like rain that causes us to flourish and blossom in every area of life. The scripture says we should live like a well-watered garden, vibrant and growing. We should live under God's cloud of blessing. How do we do that? In the natural, a cloud is formed when moisture vapors rise up from the earth into the atmosphere. Eventually, the moisture is so abundant that the rain begins to fall. In the same way, your praise is like the invisible vapors that rise up to heaven and form a cloud. Eventually, your praise will activate an outpouring of God's blessing, favor, and provision in your life.

Do you feel like you are in a dry season? Begin to praise and thank God that He is bringing you through to a place of refreshing. Magnify and bless Him for His goodness in your life. As you turn up your praise, God will turn up the rain and you will experience His abundant outpouring. You'll experience His blessing and provision and live as an overcomer in every area of your life.

A Prayer for Today

Heavenly Father, today I choose to bless and honor You. Thank You for this day. Thank You for giving me life. Thank you for making me new. Thank you for saving me and filling me with Your peace and joy. Rain on me today. In Jesus' name, Amen.

CHRISTmas 2011

2011-12-27T09:11:00.001-06:00

This Christmas was full of love and excitement! This year more then others I felt especially close to our Savior. This year more then any other i felt a real and deep connection with our King. I loved that J and I read the Christmas story from Luke snuggled up in bed on Christmas morning, a new tradition we intend to keep. I am happy. I am joyous! I am full-filled! I am.
Eph 3:14-21

Because of this AWARENESS that our Lord was THE reason for the season my family and I demonstrated His amazing selfless and sacrificial love by giving some pretty awesome gifts. Not that it's about that at all.. We all know it's about the heart...

I was able to make some very meaningful gifts for most of my Family which I enjoyed making almost as much as watching their reaction when I gave it to them. I helped my mom give my dad a new home theater system and helped my dad give my mom a Mercedes! By help I just mean I figured out a creative way to present the gifts lol. I LOVE giving gifts!!

Plus, everything I Got was to further my art making... :) which makes me super happy! and j got me a super cool gift that he put a lot of thought into.

I loved waking up in the house I grew up in. I loved talking to my mom about life, over coffee or in my case caffein-free tea. I loved spending time with my sister, my cousin and my best friend. I absolutely loved waking up to the sound of my nieces talking and playing...

*sigh* I MISS MY FAMILY :( but I praise God everyday for allowing me to be born into such a close and loving family. I am happy. I am joyful. I am more than FULL-filled!

I am so excited about the new year! I know The Lord Has big plans for us. I just know 2012 is going to be a great year!

Does God command us to be vegan?

2011-07-19T11:03:00.001-05:00

"Then God said, 'I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of this whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.' Gen 1:29

To be or not to be...VEGAN?!

2011-07-18T07:34:00.003-05:00

My first normal period after my D&C has brought the pain back with a vengeance. I think I'm more disappointed then anything else. I was hoping that the 4 months I was period free because I was pregnant might act like Lupron therapy. I refuse to take Lupron because of all the side effects but essentially you take it to supress ovulation/period for three months right?

I am so thankful that I am not working anymore because I can try to manage this pain without stressing about missing work. I was for a moment thinking about working again but I think it's pretty clear I need more time to concentrate on my health.

Everyone knows I already have a pretty strict diet: gluten free, no processed sugars, no caffeine, no red meat or pork, no dairy, ect.. but now I think I will be going vegan. on my Facebook page for Endo support there gas been one particular women you had recommends to me before to go vegan but I didn't really look into it since I had thought my pain was gone or at least wouldn't cone back for a while. For the last two days I have been in some serous pain and honestly am willing to try anything to prevent from having to go through this again... So I am declaring that I AM GOING VEGAN! wish ne luck!

Miscarriage (Blighten Ovum)

2011-05-17T15:59:00.018-05:00

Well it been quite sometime since I have written. I know I posted about the Royal wedding but honestly I think I was just trying to stall.

I'm sure you can figure out from the title that I had a miscarriage. I was about 10 weeks along but sac was only measuring 6 weeks. Never saw baby or heartbeat. I'm not sure why its taken me so long to write about it.

From 8 weeks until my D&C at 10 weeks I was pretty miserable. This was I was very nauseated and very tired. I did nothing but lay on the couch all day and night. I was utterly useless. This was basically the whole last half of March and the first half of April that I was rendered incapacitate. It was horrible. I literally did not want to do anything. I didn't even want to think. LOL Seriously. I never made dinner once, we were always getting take out and I let our monthly budget go way out of hand bc again I didn't care about anything. Its funny to me now how utterly useless I was.

So let me backtrack. At 6 weeks we had a "suspected" blighted ovum, which basically means an empty gestational sac. I wanted to be 100% positive that what it was so we had an ultrasound every week. Technically no doctor can diagnose a blighted ovum until you are at least 8 weeks. I desperately wanted our lil seed to miraculously come up on the sonogram screen with a string heart beat but that was not meant to me.

I am not sure why but I have actually been quite ok with it all. I know some women take a miscarriage very hard and there is nothing wrong with that but I only had 1 day where I was really sad. It was about a week after D&C and we went to go visit my new niece in Amarillo, TX. I was so excited to see her but when I walked into the house I could literally smell the baby and oh boy when I saw her face I nearly lost it. I had to get to the other side of the room before I started crying uncontrollably. Th entire time we were there I couldn't hold the baby much less look at her. The next first half of the day I was a mess. I was very sad and would cry about anything. The dramatic hormonal drop that occurs the first week after a D&C is pretty harsh so logically I knew what was happening but it still did nothing to help with the way I was feeling.

Luckily my husband had the sound mind to let me wallow in my sadness for just the right amount of time before he came swooping into our room to try to get me out of it. We hugged, cried and hugged some more. Prayed ALOT and by that evening I was able to go to the family's Easter Bar Be Que. I still didn't hold the baby but I was completely fine with being there.

I am very good. My mother said I have been dealing with my loss very well. I'm not sure why. I expected to be devastated but I am surprisingly calm and still thankful for everything. I think part of my peace is that I KNOW we will be having children soon. My sister went through the exact same thing and 3 months later she had my niece so I am VERY hopeful! God is good and he promised me that he will give me what ever my heart desire as long as I love for him... so I am confident!

Once we got back to Dallas I had my 2 week post-op appointment. My Doc said my uterus had already shrunk a significant amount. He wanted to check my beta HcG levels every week until they drop below a 5. Once they are below a five he said to count 30 days layer and that's when we can actively start TTC, until then we have to use condoms.

My first blood work about 3 weeks after D&C was at 100. AT 4 weeks they were at 30. I got back this week so hopefully they are already below a 5.

I still haven't gotten my period and honestly I am a little worried about it. I guess a positive thing from all this is the fact that since I was pregnant I haven't had a period for over 3 months. That's a lil over 3 months with NO endometriosis pain!! I think i have actually started to forget the all about the pain until I remind myself I should be getting my period soon. I am believing, through the power of Jesus, that at least one of my prayers were answered. Healing me from endometriois!

I'll keep ya'll informed.

The Royal Wedding Homily by Dr. Richard Chartres, Anglican Bishop of London

2011-04-29T09:26:00.004-05:00

I hadn’t planned on watching the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton live, but I’m so very glad I did.

I wanted to share the words of Bishop Chartres’ absolutely marvelous homily from this morning’s wedding at Westminster Abbey.

It is, quite simply, the best wedding homily I’ve ever heard and among the very best homilies I’ve had the pleasure to hear on any occasion.

Here is what the bishop said to William and Kate after they exchanged their vows and her brother James gave a beautiful reading from the Book of Romans:

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:

“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,

Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Not ectopic!

2011-03-12T13:19:00.005-06:00

I am so happy! Went in Thursday for my sonogram and they confirmed that is was NOT an ectopic pregnancy! YES! First hurdle successfully jumped! I really believe God has a HUGE plan for this little guy. I don't think we would have gone this far if he hadn't.

My doctor said he could faintly see the line that is the fetal pole starting to emerge so I am set to come back in in 2 weeks and by then we will be able to see so much more.

Think about it guys: I was supposedly infertile! Doctors told us I would never be able to naturally conceive and that we should start looking into IVF! But J and I held steadfast because we knew that when God has a plan there is nothing that can stop it! We are so happy right now. :) Over and over, everyday, I declare out loud that this little baby has Jesus stamped on his heart!

THIS IS A MIRACLE!

Favorite Pregnancy Apps

2011-03-08T09:52:00.007-06:00

So if you know me, you know I HEART my iphone and use it for literally everything! I am so in love with it now especially since I can video chat with my family back in Houston. The Skype App and the VToc App are awesome! I can video chat with my family from their home computer but from my iphone. Technology is AMAZING! Vtoc is specifically cool because I can video chat from my iphone to my friends home computer if they have google video chat.

I think sometimes I love my iphone a lil too much. Possibly even worship it? I KNOW I KNOW it's a sin to worship anything other than GOD but my sleek, innovative, intelligent iphone 4 is quite possible the most precious thing I own, besides of course the tiny human growing in my womb. I would be so lost with out it! Actually didn't have it for a week because I lost it and life was pretty hard. I didn't do my daily emailed quiet times, didnt have all my ebooks handy, didnt have my ebible handy!, forgot appointments, when to take my medicines, who was on my prayer list, what my usual groceries were... Gosh I was useless. I would literally just stare at the wall. I had no direction. LOL Ok I am exaggerating a little but you get the idea.

The App that I owe ALOT to is called My Cyle by Medhelp. This little handy dandy App basically told J and I when to have sex and viola now were pregnant. LOVES IT! Oh and BTW all the Apps I will be recommending are FREE! GRATIS!

Now that we are pregnant I have moved on to using I'm Expecting by Medhelp.
I d/l this app only because on the My Cycles App when I put in I had a positive pregnancy test it automatically popped up and asked if I wanted to d/l the I'm Expecting App. Feeling as though I owed MedHelp a life, literally, I went ahead a d/l it. So far it seems pretty useful. I love how I can upload weekly pictures of my baby bump.

The next app I recommend is What to Expect- Pregnancy Tracker by Everyday Health. If you have the book What to Expect When Your Expecting this is a perfect companion! Even if you don't have the book this is full of great info for the curious mommy-to-be!

And the final app I highly recommend is My Pregnancy Today by BabyCenter.
This App is AMAZING!

My Pregnancy Today features:
✔ Your pregnancy day by day: Learn how your body's changing, what's ahead, and how to cope
✔ Fetal development images: See what your baby looks like each week
✔ Pregnancy checklist: Reminders to keep you on track with decisions, appointments, and more
✔ Award-winning videos: Watch your baby grow in the womb, and witness moms giving birth ✔ Birth clubs: Connect with other women due at the same time
✔ Due date calculator: Quickly find your due date
✔ Nutrition guide: Manage your weight gain with tips and recipes to help you eat well
✔ Track your progress: Countdown to your big day

Enjoy! And if you come across any other apps that you really like please let me know!

5 Weeks Pregnant: Possiblity for Ectopic?

2011-03-07T16:57:00.007-06:00

5 Weeks Pregnant

If your anything like me I am very curious as to how things work. Probably because of my science background and ALL the many health issues I have had I am extremely interested in the way the human body works especially my own. So I find it extremely interesting to konw that this is what my baby look like right now:

Ok so it looks a bit like an alien but a cute baby alien! :)

BUT we're still not in the clear for an ectopic pregnancy. Tubal pregnancies can occur between 4 to 10 weeks but usually happen (cause pain enough to need attention) between weeks 4 to 6. I don't feel anything out of the ordinary so hopefully at our 6week sonagram next Monday they will see the baby happliy implanted in my uterus here the heart beat and all will be perfect... and I can stop worrying!

Love this website that described what to expect during every week.

Pregnancy Week 5

How Big is the Baby at Five Weeks Pregnant?
Pregnancy week 5 isn't much different from pregnancy week 4. During 5 weeks pregnant, your baby is still just over a millimeter long. You might say that your baby is about the size of a small grain of rice! However your baby is growing in many other ways. Vital organs continue to develop through this week.

Your Baby's Growth and Development
During the early part of this pregnancy at 5 weeks the central nervous system, muscles, bones and even the heart will begin to form. Early skeletal development is also possible at or around pregnancy week 5. Remember that every person is unique, thus their baby will develop at a different rate than others.

Perhaps the most interesting changes that are occurring during 5 weeks pregnant include those happening in the heart. During this week, the heart will begin to divide into separate chambers and start pumping blood. The heart is formed from the middle layer of cells, called the mesoderm. Other organs that will develop from this layer include the muscles, cartilage, and bone.

During pregnancy week 5, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord are also developing. The neural tube will start developing from a top layer of cells called the ectoderm. The baby's skin, hair, nails and sweat glands will also develop out of this layer.

A third layer of cells, called the endoderm, is also developing this week. The lungs, intestines, thyroid and pancreas also develop from this layer.

Your Growth and Development
You will still be pretty small during pregnancy at 5 weeks. An onlooker will not be able to detect that you are pregnant for several more weeks. Some women, particularly moms who have given birth before, have reported that they notice more bloating in their abdomen during this week. Because this is also a common menstrual symptom, many women assume that their periods are simply late and that they are bloated because of it!

Early Pregnancy Complications
Sometimes things go wrong with a pregnancy. Occasionally, a woman will experience an ectopic pregnancy. This happens when the fertilized egg implants outside of the uterus, usually in the fallopian tube. There is an even smaller chance that the egg will implant around the ovary or cervix, though this is very rare. Ectopic pregnancies generally occur in 1 out of every 100 pregnancies. Your risk might be increased if you have a history of pelvic inflammatory disease or some other infection that might have damaged your fallopian tube. Women who have had a previous ectopic pregnancy are more likely to experience a recurrence than those who have not.

The primary signs of an ectopic pregnancy include: vaginal bleeding, abdominal pain, and nausea. Some of these symptoms, however, mimic ordinary pregnancy symptoms, so ectopic pregnancies are sometimes difficult to diagnose. The best way to diagnose an ectopic pregnancy is to measure the levels of human chorionic gonadotropin or HCG in the blood. This is a hormone produced during pregnancy that generally doubles approximately every 2 days. When HCG levels do not increase, an ectopic pregnancy might be suspected. Ultrasound can also help diagnose an ectopic pregnancy.

If you are diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy, your physician may require you undergo surgical treatment. Your doctor will want to perform surgery before any damage is done to your tube, which can affect your fertility in the future.

Other complications may include a blighted ovum or a molar pregnancy. A blighted ovum occurs when the fertilized egg implants but the embryo stops developing or isn't developing at all. It typically results in a miscarriage.

A molar pregnancy occurs when the fertilized egg is abnormal from the time of conception. Usually the egg will not develop into an embryo or it will develop abnormally so that it can't survive. Molar pregnancies occur in about one out of every 1,000 pregnancies. A molar pregnancy will usually require a surgical procedure to remove the abnormal tissue.

Most women who experience pregnancy complications can go on to have normal pregnancies in the future. While it is difficult not to worry about potential complications, it is important that you adopt a healthy attitude. The more you relax and enjoy the changes in your body, the more likely things will go well for you. If you do notice any abnormal symptoms, including continuous bleeding after a positive pregnancy test, be sure to contact your healthcare provider immediately.

Changes in You
You may or may not start realizing some changes at 5 weeks pregnant. Some women will start feeling nauseous at or around the fifth or sixth week of pregnancy. Some women will also start noticing other early signs of pregnancy such as a need to urinate more frequently, or tingling and soreness in the breasts.

Morning sickness may start by pregnancy week 5 but probably won't set in for a few more weeks. Morning sickness is actually a misnomer. The nausea that is associated with pregnancy can come at any time of the day, morning or night.

Some women are plagued with morning sickness during their entire pregnancies, though most morning sickness gets better after the first trimester. The good news is there are many things you can do to help alleviate morning sickness as you follow your pregnancy week by week. Try keeping some crackers and seltzer water close by the bed and snack on some before you get up in the morning. Morning sickness is often worse on an empty stomach. Other women find sipping some ginger tea or lemon water helps relieve nausea. Another remedy is supplementation with extra B-6.

Before you try any remedies for morning sickness or any other pregnancy symptom, be sure you consult with your healthcare provider. There are many herbs that can be dangerous to you or your developing baby when pregnant. When in doubt always err on the side of safety.

The most common early pregnancy symptom at five weeks pregnant is a sense of fatigue. Fatigue is common throughout pregnancy, but is usually the most severe during the early weeks of pregnancy. If you are experiencing excessive fatigue, try to rest as much as possible throughout the day. Do not have an extra cup of coffee to "perk up" as too much caffeine can affect your developing fetus. One great way to take advantage of a natural pick me up is to exercise. If you have the chance to get outdoors and inhale some fresh air, go for an extra walk around the block.

Maternity Clothes
Maternity Dresses for the Fashion Conscious Mother

Most expectant mothers prefer maternity dresses over all other types of maternity wear. Why? Maternity dresses are the ultimate in comfortable maternity clothing. They expand, breathe, flow and gently caress the body rather than cling, pinch and squeeze. Who doesn’t want to feel comfortable when pregnant?

Whether you are looking for something formal for a special event or something more casual to wear day-to-day, you can count on a variety of elegant and feminine styles from today’s leading retailers.

The very best retailers for maternity dresses are found at Destination Maternity. Most women fall in love with their maternity dresses so much that they have a hard time not wearing them even after pregnancy!

Pregnancy Health Tips
Many women decide to keep their pregnancies private until after the 12th week. This is because the chance of miscarriage is greatest during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. it is up to you and your partner whether or not you decide to share the news about your pregnancy, but many women find great relief in sharing their joyous news with friends and family members. That way if something does go wrong, they will also have the support of their loved ones.

There is no hard and fast rule when it comes to revealing your pregnancy. When you do decide to share the news, do so with pomp and circumstance. Most women will only be pregnant once or a few times in their lifetime. It is always fun to share the news in a memorable way. You might decide for example to purchase a new baby outfit or two to surprise your partner or loved ones with. Some women wait until their first prenatal visit, where they will often get to take home the first picture of their baby via a trans-vaginal ultrasound. Do what is right for you, but enjoy the process when you do! Having a baby should be a memorable and joyous occasion for everyone!

HCG hormones doubling!

2011-03-07T11:51:00.002-06:00

Yay! Doctor just called me and my hormones are doubling just like they are suppose to! I am still in a state of shock guys! J and I didn't even have to use any sort of fertility meds like Clomid what so ever! What an amazing miracle!

Also the Prometrium Pills (400 mg a night) I'm taking only make me a lil woozy and dizzy but overall I feel great, except of course for the sleepiness! I can sleep all day if I could!

I'm pregnant! Please Pray for us...

2011-03-04T15:57:00.012-06:00

I know some women would warn me of announcing this too early because "what if I have a miscarriage?" To them I say GOD IS IN CHARGE! And I highly doubt by me telling others that it will some how change God's plan. It's ALL His plan and I will be joyous in all things good or bad! Plus I think having a support system of people praying and being positive for us is probably the best thing, don't you? And, God-forbid anything goes wrong I think I would also like the support and comfort of all my friends and family.

God IS truly GREAT! Well boys and girls, I am pregnant! This is obviously great news but even more so because I was labeled "infertile" by my past doctors. My endo specialist was strongly pushing IVF because he said even if I did get pregnant naturally his fear would be for an ectopic pregnancy since my tubes were so damaged, which in reality is definitely still possible. I am only 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant right now so the sonogram can't tell us yet where the baby has implanted. Actually week 4 is usually when the embryo is trying to implant. So I have literally been looking at the above picture VISUALIZING that it's traveled safely through the tube and is my uterus!

All the glory truly goes to God! Seriously! I am sure you understand all the little things that had to go perfectly right for us to conceive, right? I am so ecstatic but obv still very scared. They can't confirm the pregnancy until weeks 6-8 so the anticipation is killing me! the only thing they can do to try to rule out a tubal pregnancy is check my hormone levels. Pregnant women's HCG levels should normally double every 2-3 days so as long as I keep doing that I am fine waiting another 2 weeks to get another sonogram. Also our progesterone levels should be doubled.

Progesterone Levels during menstrual cycle :

Day 1-14 >1 to 1.5ng/ml

Day 15-28 2-28 ng/ml

Progesterone during pregnancy :

First Trimester 9-47

Second Trimester 17-147 ng/ml

Third Trimester 55-200 ng/ml

I have literally cried out to God for him to keep this pregnancy viable. I know statistically 1 in 3 first -time pregnancies end in a miscarriage but GOD IS BIGGER THAN ANY STATISTICS!

I did go in 2 days ago and again today to get my hormones checked. My Beta HCG level is at about 400 which is normal for week 4 but my progesterone levels are pretty low. That doesn't surprise me because I have always sensed I had a progesterone deficiency especially since I have endometriosis. We all know that endometrosis is feed by estrogen and most if not all women with endometriosis are estrogen dominant. I am a firm believe in Dr. Lee's theory on progesterone deficiencies and how natural progesterone creams can help women like us.

Most early miscarriages are a result of low level progesterone levels so I am glad this was confirmed. So now the question is do I take oral progesterone supplements or stick to my natural progesterone cream or can I do both? Decisions, decisions...

One thing that has been hard this week is that I have had to stop all medications. I have Adult ADD so no more Adderall! I work in a high-stress position and this simply is not an option. So along with finding out I'm pregnant I have also resigned from my job! My company has been so amazing and supportive during my previous surgeries but because of those surgeries I have no more sick days, medical leave or vacation time left leaving me no choice but to resign. My obgyn here in Dallas has warned me that the next two weeks and basically the entire pregnancy is high risk and it would be to my benefit if i left my job. Well you don't have to tell me twice! LOL I put in my 2 weeks yesterday.

Though we haven't had a "confirmation through sonogram" that I am pregnant, only urine and blood tests to confirm so far, I KNOW I AM! In Jesus name I know He will care and watch over me and this baby during this pregnancy and ensure that we are both healthy!

I wonder: can an entire church be a child's Godparents?? LOL Because I truly am SO GRATEFUL for all the people we have met through being members at Trinity Dallas Church in uptown Dallas, TX! Pastor Joe, Pastor Dustin, Matt Neese, The Harlows, The Philips, The Chapmens, The Moores, The Avalos, The Foss', The Cowleys... have all been so amazing. Shoot, the entire church! They have been praying for us and helping us through everything we have gone through last year. They have been praying for us to have a baby and the very first month we try (February) we conceive! That is NO accident.

So I ask with a humble heart for you all to also pray for us. Pray that this little baby is safe in my uterus and far away from my fallopian tubes! Pray that my progesterone levels increase and maintain, Pray that this little baby be viable, full of energy and grow to be super strong! Pray that we have an obstacle-free pregnancy and labor!

After all the bible says:
"... pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:19-20

Causes of Endometriosis

2011-02-25T08:32:00.006-06:00

The cause of Endometriosis remains elusive even after years of research. The fact that there are probably over 70 million women in the world who have Endometriosis today, does highlight that this is a modern epidemic. But no-one really knows what is causing this epidemic. There has been much speculation, and many possible ideas have been put forward, but no-one seems to be putting this disease into context.

There is little research being done to assess and map this disease globally; to understand the relationship between social and economic factors; to appraise and chart the environmental influences; to assess the back-grounds of women with Endometriosis to include medical history, cultural influences, up- bringing and so on.

Granted, this would be a huge task, but if samples were done in different parts of the world, then a picture would start to emerge as to why, where, when, and to whom, this was happening. Unfortunately we are back to the problems of finance, and who holds the purse strings regarding funding for research.

Then there is the issue of vested interest. Dishing out drugs to help with the symptoms of Endometriosis is big business. The figures involved globally must be astronomic, and in turn, the profits for pharmaceutical companies is enormous. ‘STALE MATE’ comes to mind.

In the meantime, speculation continues as to the cause of Endometriosis. Some of the theories that have been put forward over the years include:

Retrograde menstruation - this theory was postulated in the early 1920s by Dr Sampson. He speculated that during menstruation, a certain amount of menstrual fluid flowed backward from the uterus to ‘shower the pelvic organs and pelvis lining’ with endometrium cells. However, studies have shown that many women experience retrograde menstruation but do not go on to develop Endometriosis. In fact, it is thought that 90 percent of women have retrograde menstruation. This theory also fails to explain why Endometriosis can be found in remote areas such as the lungs, breasts, lymph nodes and even the eyes.

The transplantation theory - That Endometriosis spreads via the circulatory and lymphatic system.

Latrogenic transplantation - Endometriosis is accidentally transported during surgery. This is highly unlikely today, due to advanced surgical management and it does not account for the presence of the disease in the first place.

Coelomic Metaplasia - This theory holds that certain cells, when stimulated, can transform themselves into a different kind of cells’, as in women taking estrogen replacement therapy.
The hereditary theory - Women with family members who have Endometriosis are more likely, or are susceptible to developing the disease. Similar to this theory, is the idea that women can be born with migrant endometrial cells in the pelvic cavity, which in later life can develop into Endometriosis.

Environmental factors - A great deal of research is clearly highlighting that women who are exposed to environmental toxins are at much greater risk of developing Endometriosis along with other serious health disorders. These toxins include PCBs, DDT and Dioxin, all of which are widely spread throughout the world today. The other major environmental toxins are collectively known as Xenoestrogens. These are compounds and chemicals found in the environment and food chain that react negatively with the natural balance of the body, both male and female, causing a damaging imbalance in the system. (For more details see Healing of Endometriosis)

Liver disorders - The liver regulates and removes estrogen from the body. If the function of the liver is compromised then serious health problems can emerge, including Endometriosis.

Auto-immune disorder - Of all the theories being postulated for the cause of Endometriosis, the idea that this disease is an autoimmune disease seems the very likely, credible and feasible. Autoimmune diseases are now widely believed to occur based on genetic predisposition that may be triggered by environmental and other external factors.

Many women with Endometriosis are susceptible to other Autoimmune diseases such as Rheumatoid Arthritis, Multiple Sclerosis and Meniere’s disease. In women who do not have Endometriosis, the stray particles of endometrium are not allowed to survive, they are destroyed by the immune system. In women with Endometriosis a dysfunctional immune system may permit the continuous growth of stray endometrial cells, which then develops into Endometriosis. Interestingly, dioxins have a damaging effect on the human immune system.

Dysfunctions of the immune system are very complex. As well as Auto-immune diseases, there are also Immune System Deficiency diseases, which are divided into 2 categories. - Primary Immune Deficiency diseases and Secondary Immune Deficiency diseases. Endometriosis could just as easily be a Secondary Immune Deficiency disease.

Psychosexual Disorder- many main stream and alternative medical practitioners believe that endometriosis is strongly linked to past sexual abuse or simply an unhealthy view of "being a women."

RISK FACTORS
There seem to be certain risk factors that also weigh-in which will make certain women more vulnerable to developing Endometriosis. Some of these include:

Estrogen excess/dominance
High stress levels
High fat diet - this will increase estrogen levels due to modern farming techniques and drugs used in animal husbandry
Excess dietary caffeine
Excess alcohol
Hormone imbalance
Essential fatty acid deficiency
Low fiber diet - which causes estrogen levels to be higher

Many theories continue to be put forward to the cause of Endometriosis. I suspect that there is no one singular cause for the plague known as Endometriosis. It has been a recognized disease going back in history, but nothing on the scale we are seeing today.
It would appear that this disease is acting as a barometer, highlighting the vulnerability of the human body living in a modern, stressful, highly polluted world. It is so unfortunate that it is women who take the brunt of this damage and yet we have so little power and such a small voice, to be able to fight back and address this huge issue.

One of the latest theories to the cause of endometriosis is that it could be caused by an enzyme in the body.

Thank you Endo-resolved.com

Diva Cup: Great Alternative to disposable pads and tampons and more convenient than cloth pad!

2011-02-24T14:52:00.011-06:00

Since finding out last year that I have Stage IV Endometriosis, going though a few minor surgeries and one MAJOR surgery, and taking countless medications and synthetic hormones...I was fed up! I vowed to naturally heal myself through alternative medicines and therapies.

One of the therapies I have been consistently doing (maybe about 3-4 times a week) is acupuncture. My acupuncturist got her medical degree from China and attended the world renowned acupuncture school in Shanghia.

There were two things she insisted that I do from now on:

never consume cold beverages, especially during my period. Only hot caffeine-free teas like Ginger Tea or Raspberry Leaf tea. She said I MUST keep my hands and feet warm at all times!
no more using disposable pad or tampons, only cloth.

She believes Endometriosis can be caused my blood stagnation or cold blood, so acupuncture accompanied with hot beverages and keeping my extremities warm will help the blood flow optimally.

She explained to me that the plastic and glue backing on disposable pads greatly reduce air circulation, creating a stagnant environment in which some bacteria thrive. This can exacerbate any pre-existing vaginal irritation. This plastic sheeting also causes perspiration, sometimes rashes and other irritations, and can leave you more susceptible to yeast infections. Many women report allergic reactions to disposable pads, most likely caused by bleaching residues.
Low levels of dioxin have been found in almost every major brand of tampon (except 100% organic cotton). Dioxin is a known carcinogen and has been linked to cervical cancer, breast cancer, endometriosis, and immune system suppression. There is much scientific debate as to whether there is such a thing as a “safe level” of dioxin exposure.

She said that many women have found relief from pain with simply using cloth pads only.

Also there is the risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome. Most women are aware that with prolonged use tampons can cause Toxic Shock Syndrome. What many women do not know is that the bacteria that causes TSS is naturally occurring in menstrual blood. When the flow of menstruation is cut off and held in the body, this bacteria has the opportunity to proliferate to toxic levels. TSS can cause serious physical impairment and even death.

Did you know that approximately 35% of the fluids absorbed by a tampon are not menstrual blood, but natural body fluids produced to moisturize and cleanse the vagina? Tampon use can also increase the propensity for yeast infections. That can't be good for my Endometriosis!
After she told me this I became very interested in this subject. Not only for my health, I also thought about how cost effective and how great for the environment this would be if we used only cloth pads.

"Women, on average, experience a lifetime menstruation span of 41 years (11-52). From use of disposable feminine hygiene, an estimated 12 billion sanitary pads and 7 billion tampons are dumped into the North American environment each year (1998). More than 170,000 tampon applicators were collected along U.S. coastal areas between 1998 and 1999."

"Do your own math...Multiply the number of pads/tampons you use each month by twelve. Then, multiply that figure by 41 years - the average woman's menstruation span. For argument's sake, let's pick the figure of 4 tampons/pads per day, for 5 days. That's 20 disposable products per cycle. Twelve cycles per year equals 240 tampons/pads per year. Okay, now if you menstruate for 41 years...that's close to 10,000 tampons/pads you'll use in your lifetime!"

How much better would it be for our environment! Think about it: How many disposable pad and tampons are sitting in landfills right now?

"Not to mention the $$ we would save. If the average woman uses 11,000- 13,000 in her lifetime pads or tampons, then 550 - 650 boxes of 20 at an average of $4.00 US per box, equals a grand total of $2,400.00-$2,600.00 US! Now that’s not including panty liners! "

Ok so, I was ok with not using tampons anymore but was alternating between cloth pads and disposable pads. But after using a few cloth pads I am dissatisfied with the limitations. No swimming or strenuous exercise or even wearing body con clothing! And the laundry/washing, ugh. Then I came across DivaCups!

The DivaCup® Menstrual Cup:

• Clean, convenient, easy-to-use
• Worn for up to 12 hours
• Comfortable, reliable
• Latex-free, hypoallergenic
• Economical – saves money each month
• Reusable: environmentally responsible

"The DivaCup is latex free and is made from top quality silicone, a material that has been used in healthcare applications for over 50 years. This silicone is not the same type of material used in breast implants. No chlorine, dyes, colorings or additives of any kind are used."

I can’t wait to get mine in and post my review!

Here is their Facebook Page.

A Final Note I found on a cloth pad website:
After WWI, Kotex marketed the first disposable menstrual products. They were hailed as sophisticated and liberating, and were priced out of the reach of the average woman. They were marketed much like as baby formula, playing on the negative social attitudes of the time, towards women’s bodies. The disposable menstrual products industry used this fear and ignorance of women’s sexuality to propel their products into the mainstream. Women were assured that they could effectively “disguise” the fact that they were menstruating if they used disposable products, and could neatly “dispose” of the “waste”, leaving no trace that the shameful act had occurred.

Hundreds of millions of dollars have since been invested by the disposable pad and tampon companies to try to perpetuate the misconception that menstruation is dirty and must be kept well concealed.

“Never take your purse to the john” -- Tampax television ad aimed at teenage girls, 2000.

None of the major tampon or pad manufacturers have ever offered a safe, environmentally sound menstrual product. Why? Simply put, there’s a bigger profit in selling you disposable products that you’ll have to purchase again and again and again, at ever increasing prices.

This can even be considered when you have a baby. Disposable diapers or cloth diapers? I don’t know about you but I will not willing putting any of my children in disposable diapers.

Rudi's Gluten Free Bread

2011-02-24T13:48:00.003-06:00

Since learning I have Endometriosis (some believe pain is increased by consuming gluten containing food) and Celiac Disease last year my journey to find a good gluten-free bread has pretty much been trial and error. Not only have their been huge misses on taste but on cost too! We all know how expensive gluten-free products are right now so it was great to find a bread that taste great and is on average a buck cheaper than the competition.

I am happy to announce I have found it! Rudi's Cinnamon Raisin Gluten-Free Bread is amazing! After a quick toast I can have an enjoyable breakfast again! I ca have a sandwich, I can have French Toast!!! I have even used it for breadcrumbs to use in my turkey meatloaf and turkey burgers!

They have Original and Multigrain but I am in love with the Cinnamon Raisin.

Another great thing is that they are giving away bread on their facebook page and I won! WooHoo! Go check them out! Here is also their website and blog. Go there to print a $1 off coupon!

Storing Up Treasure In Heaven

2011-02-23T10:39:00.002-06:00

Here is another great post from Christian Personal Finance. God is truly tugging at my heart today to reexamine my "dreams and desires."

What could be better than the American Dream? A steady job, money in the bank and a hefty 401k for retirement – coupled with a nice house in the ‘burbs, a white-picket fence, two kids and a dog, a Swagger Wagon for mom and a sedan for dad – Life couldn’t get any better than that – right?

But is that really all there is to life?

I mean, do we just go through life trying to reach the next promotion so we can move into a better neighborhood with a better school system so our kids can do better than we have done?

I often think about what Jesus would say regarding the American Dream.

Would he want everyone to be a home-owner, everyone to have comfort and the security of a nice economy with nothing to worry about?

For some reason, I just can’t believe Jesus would encourage us to pursue the American Dream! Maybe I’m wrong – if so please tell me.

But here’s why I think this:

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” -Matt 6:19-21

The American Dream seems to be about earthly treasure – not the treasure of the heavenly kind! So here’s the question of the day:

“Are you building up earthly treasure, or are you storing up treasures in heaven?”

In order to answer that question we need to understand the difference between earthly and heavenly treasure and then we need to look at our own hearts to determine which one we are really living for.

The Heart of the Matter
This whole issue of heavenly versus earthly treasure really comes down to the heart. In other words, which do you love more – earthly goods or heavenly treasure?

Don’t you just love how Jesus always brings things right back to our hearts and challenges us with our idols?

Jesus has a way of reaching down to the epicenter of our souls and challenging our framework and then getting us to rethink our framework so that He is the one we are living for!

So, let me ask you – are you constantly worrying about your money? Do you have an unhealthy preoccupation with your net worth, accumulating more wealth, becoming debt-free, investing, making more money, saving more money, or getting the next promotion?

Any one of those things can become an earthly treasure. Again, it comes down to what our hearts love more!

What Is Treasure in Heaven?
In Jesus time, the Jews he was speaking to would have been very familiar with the terms “earthly treasure” and “heavenly treasure”. It was common for their vernacular. In fact, the Jews defined storing up treasure in heaven as deeds of mercy and deeds of kindness to people in distress.

Jesus, in Luke 12:33-34, gives us an idea of treasure in heaven when he says:

“Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

We see here that Jesus equates selling possessions and giving to the needy as treasure in heaven. If I were to define it myself, treasure in heaven would simply be living life with open hearts and open hands.

Open hearts means we have a heart that God has – one for the poor, the weak the disenfranchised and the marginalized.

Open hands means that we live life with a loose grip mentality so that our earthly goods are not used for our own contentment, but rather are used to have an impact on those who are less fortunate for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Jesus himself said he had come to, “Proclaim good news to the poor, proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, and to set at liberty those who are oppressed.” Luke 4:18.

We store up treasure in heaven by seeking the Kingdom of God through helping others, which demonstrates the greatest of all sacrifices that God made for us!

How Do We Pursue Treasure in Heaven?
So how should we respond to this?

Repent From Earthly Treasure

We always need to start here any time we see that we’ve been living for something else besides Christ himself. Turn from earthly treasure and turn to God and worship Him.

Replace Earthly Treasure

Earthly treasure (and our love for it) must be replaced by a deeper love for Jesus. There is only one way to deal with this issue correctly and that is a reorientation back to the greatness of the gospel:

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich. 2 Cor. 8:9

Rearrange Our Priorities

Instead of living for six digits, job status, houses, cars, TV’s, vacations, comfort or security – we should be living for the next level of giving, of helping the poor and of using our money for the sake of the gospel!!

In other words, our priorities should be set on simplification for the Kingdom of God, not accumulation for our own earthly kingdom!

Here are some practical ways to rearrange priorites and start living for heavenly treasure:

-Build generosity into your budget – start budgeting for giving and start looking to give to others and those in need.

-Give time and money to local shelters – The Boys and Girls clubs are in desperate need of volunteers to come and spend time with disadvantaged youth. That’s one out of hundreds of organizations that need help.

-Have a garage sale or sell junk on ebay – and give the proceeds away to a hurting family!

-Adopt an orphan or become a foster parent – there are so many kids that need good structure and parents who love them.

-Teach financial skills to those who need help.

-Think twice – Instead of accepting a promotion based on money think about whether your job will allow you to invest into others.

What are Your Thoughts?

Gospel Neighboring, Your Money and Fighting Idols

2011-02-23T10:00:00.007-06:00

I have recently started reading this blog called Christian PF. Its a wonderful blog that incorperates The Word with our finances. Todays post was very interesting especially because this morning before I had read it, during my morning prayers, I had an epiphany to stop asking God to help me with our finances. After all, He is GOD He knows what I need before I even think it. I relaized that I need to stop selfishly thinking and praying mostly about my life and situations and focus on others, my neighbors!

Here is is today's post from Christian PF:

I recently listened to a sermon by Tim Keller called Neighbors .

Keller speaks extensively on the topic of gospel neighboring, and has really challenged me over the last two years with my views of what it means to be a Christian who loves God and loves neighbors as themselves.

Keller defines gospel neighboring as, “Sacrificially meeting the needs of those around them“.

What has struck me most is my inconsistency in what I say compared to what I do. Maybe you can relate. Out of one side of our mouths we give God praise, say we are Christians who love others, and mention that we will surrender all that we have for Him.

But, out of the other side of our mouths, we are all too often internally focused, consumed with our own little kingdoms, and blatantly selfish.

Keller often speaks about our idols – the things in our lives that we treasure more than Christ himself. This can be money, time, family, possessions, fame, career advancement, hobbies or any number of other good things that we turn into ultimate things.

Money can become our idol pretty easily if we don’t proactively fight against it. So how do we engage in battle to keep money from being our idol?

Simple – we become better gospel neighbors. By getting the focus off ourselves, and on to other people, we have a much greater chance of stopping any idol dead in its tracks. Here’s what I mean:

Gospel Neighboring Keeps Us From Being Internally Focused
We cannot sacrificially meet the needs of others around us without understanding those needs. In other words, we must proactively and consciously seek the needs of others. This helps us get our focus off ourselves.

When I am more consumed with meeting the needs of others, I naturally am less consumed with my own needs (or wants).

Gospel Neighboring Keeps Us Humble
One of the major things that keeps us from helping others more sacrificially is the fact that we are full of pride. Our arrogance limits our ability to perceive and meet the needs of others.

One way to nip pride in the bud is to start helping others sacrificially. When we help others who are less fortunate than ourselves, it’s a humbling experience. When we realize that everything we have is a result of God’s grace, it frees us up to use our money and possessions to store up heavenly treasure.

Gospel Neighboring Points Ourselves and Others to the One Who Neighbored Us
Meeting people’s needs is a radical way to live. It’s different than the majority of the world. Isn’t that how Jesus told us to live? Certainly Jesus modeled it.

Jesus gave up all the riches and comfort of heaven to come to earth and take on human flesh as a baby. He grew to be a man who faced temptation, hunger, and a wide range of emotions that we all feel. He became a neighbor to us so that we could be reconciled back to our Creator – to God himself.

Jesus met people’s physical needs while also meeting spiritual needs. He came to proclaim good news to the poor, proclaim liberty to the captives, to recover sight for the blind, free the oppressed, and proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor (Luke 4:18-19).

And of course, Jesus sacrificially met our greatest need by dying the death that we deserved to die. He gave himself, the ultimate sacrifice so that we could restored to God.

Being a gospel neighbor points us to Jesus, the perfect and ultimate neighbor. It also points others to Jesus as they see our costly sacrifice and as we tell them about our motivation for living.

Tim Keller says it this way, “Meet people’s concrete needs with such costliness and sacrificiality that people will want to hear the gospel because what you’re doing is so unexplainable.”

Radical, costly sacrifice is so different in a world that is consumed with itself that people will wonder why you do what you do, which gives you a tremendous opportunity for gospel messaging – urging others to believe in the gospel.

How about you? How are you doing with being a radical, gospel neighbor?

What things do you need to change in order to become a better gospel neighbor?

Morning Affirmations

2011-02-23T09:40:00.002-06:00

1. SUBMITTING TO GOD
•Because of all You have done for me, I present my body to You as a living sacrifice for this day. I want to
be transformed by the renewing of my mind, affirming that Your will for me is good and acceptable and
perfect. (Romans 12:1-2)

2. ADORATION AND THANKSGIVING
•Offer a brief word of praise to God for one or more of His attributes (e.g., love and compassion, grace,
mercy, holiness, goodness, omnipotence, omnipresence, omniscience, truthfulness, unchanging character,
eternality) and/or works (e.g., creation, care, redemption, loving purposes, second coming).
•Thank Him for the good things in your life.

3. EXAMINATION
•Ask the Spirit to search your heart and reveal any areas of unconfessed sin. Acknowledge these to the
Lord and thank Him for His forgiveness. (Psalm 139:23-24)

4. MY IDENTITY IN CHRIST
•"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I
now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me."
(Galatians 2:20)
*I have forgiveness from the penalty of sin because Christ died for me. (Romans 5:8; 1 Corinthians 15:3)
*I have freedom from the power of sin because I died with Christ. (Colossians 2:11; 1 Peter 2:24)
*I have fulfillment for this day because Christ lives in me. (Philippians 1:20-21)
*By faith, I will allow Christ to manifest His life through me. (2 Corinthians 2:14)

5. FILLING OF THE SPIRIT
•Ask the Spirit to control and fill you for this day.
•I want to be filled with the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:18) When I walk by the Spirit, I will not carry out the
desire of the flesh. (Galatians 5:16) If I live by the Spirit, I will also walk by the Spirit. (Galatians 5:25)

6. FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT
•Pray on the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, selfcontrol.
(Galatians 5:22-23)
•"Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act
unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does
not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all
things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

7. PURPOSE OF MY LIFE
•I want to love the Lord my God with all my heart, and with all my soul, and with all my mind, and I want
to love my neighbor as myself. (Matthew 22:37, 39) My purpose is to love God completely, love self
correctly, and love others compassionately.
•I will seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness. (Matthew 6:33)
•I have been called to follow Christ and to be a fisher of men. (Matthew 4:19)
•I will be a witness to those who do not know Him and participate in the Great Commission to go and make
disciples. (Matthew 28:19-20; Acts 1:8)
•I want to glorify the Father by bearing much fruit, and so prove to be Christ's disciple. (John 15:8)
Kenneth Boa One Piedmont Center, Suite 130, Atlanta, GA 30305-1501 404/842-0707 2/93

8. CIRCUMSTANCES OF THE DAY
•I will trust in the Lord with all my heart, and not lean on my own understanding. In all my ways I will
acknowledge Him, and He will make my paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
•"God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according
to His purpose." (Romans 8:28; also see 8:29)
I acknowledge that You are in control of all things in my life, and that You have my best
interests at heart. Because of this I will trust and obey You today.
•Review and commit the events of this day into the hands of God.

9. PROTECTION IN THE WARFARE

-Against the World: Renew
•I will set my mind on the things of the Spirit. (Romans 8:5)
•Since I have been raised up with Christ, I will keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the
right hand of God. I will set my mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. (Colossians
3:1-2; also see 3:3-4 and Hebrews 12:1-2)
•I will be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving I will let my
requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard
my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever
is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of
praise, I will let my mind dwell on these things. (Philippians 4:6-8; also see 4:9)

-Against the Flesh: Reckon
•I know that my old self was crucified with Christ, so that I am no longer a slave to sin, for he who has died
is freed from sin. I will reckon myself as dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. I will not present the
members of my body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness, but I will present myself to God as one alive
from the dead, and my members as instruments of righteousness to God. (Romans 6:6-7, 11, 13)

-Against the Devil: Resist
•As I submit myself to God and resist the devil, he will flee from me. (James 4:7)
•I will be of sober spirit and on the alert. My adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking
someone to devour. But I will resist him, firm in my faith. (1 Peter 5:8-9)
•I will take up the full armor of God, that I may be able to resist and stand firm. I put on the belt of truth
and the breastplate of righteousness; I put on my feet the preparation of the gospel of peace; and I take up
the shield of faith with which I will be able to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. I take the
helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition I
will pray at all times in the Spirit and be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.
(Ephesians 6:13-18)

10. THE COMING OF CHRIST AND MY FUTURE WITH HIM
•Your kingdom come, Your will be done. (Matthew 6:10)
•You have said, "I am coming quickly." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus. (Revelation 22:20)
•I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be
revealed to me. (Romans 8:18)
•I will not lose heart, but though my outer man is decaying, yet my inner man is being renewed day by day.
For momentary, light affliction is producing for me an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,
while I look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are
seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)
•My citizenship is in heaven, from which also I eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. (Philippians
3:20)
•(Also consider 2 Timothy 4:8; Hebrews 11:1, 6; 2 Peter 3:11-12; 1 John 2:28; 3:2-3.)

Pray with your husband or Wife Every Day

2011-02-23T07:16:00.001-06:00

Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD
watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain (Psalm 127:1).

Praying with your spouse daily is the key a great marriage

(This study is adapted from Making Christ the Cornerstone, book 2 in Marriage by the Book.)

I have counseled with hundreds of married couples over the years. After seeing marriages improve, I used to ask what one piece of advice made the greatest difference. Over and over, I got the same answer ... learning how to pray together.

It makes sense that praying together would bring a couple together. Jesus often prayed with his disciples. And Paul wrote, "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful" (Colossians 4:2). Prayer is our opportunity to connect with God, our Creator. It's practical. And it is a wonderful privilege to be able to approach Him together. Yet most couples do not pray together regularly.

A good way to get started is to make a prayer plan. The following pattern is one I often suggest when counseling. Feel free to change it in any way that is comfortable for both of you.

Pray at one or more regular times each day

The following biblical pattern is for a couple to pray three times a day. If praying together three times a day seems overwhelming, start with once or twice a day.

Morning prayer: Pray for each other.

At the beginning of the day, or before either person leaves for work, one person asks the other for prayer requests, and then he or she prays. After the first person finishes praying, the second person asks the first one for prayer requests and then prays. After that, both could pray for family members or other people.

If one person is asleep when the other one goes to work, pray for each other's requests the night before. If one person is away on a business trip, pray by phone.

Early evening prayer: Pray for a servant's heart.

Most of us feel tired at the end of the day. We enter the evening hours hoping for support and understanding from our spouse. Yet God wants us to look for ways to serve, not to be served. As Jesus said, "Even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve" (Mark 10:45).

To prepare your hearts for the evening, have a short prayer time as soon as both of you are home after the workday. Take turns praying, with each person praying to be a loving, sensitive and helpful spouse that evening. You could also pray to be free from any tensions or problems from the workplace.
Bedtime prayer: Pray for God's protection.

Before you go to sleep, ask for God's protection over your home and for each member of your family, your relatives and others with needs. If one person goes to bed before the other, pray when he or she goes to bed.

Suggested guidelines for rewarding prayer times

Either person can suggest it is time to pray.

You could agree about who will suggest praying at the different times of the day, or you could be informal, with each taking the responsibility to say, "Let's pray."

Invite your spouse to pray.
Don't be pushy.

Both husband and wife should pray out loud.

If you are shy about praying out loud, fearing you don't pray well enough, let me encourage you not to feel embarrassed. Prayer is talking to God. (It's also listening to him.) Speak simply. He is the most understanding and forbearing of listeners.

Choose a position that is comfortable for both.

You can pray standing, kneeling, sitting, hugging or lying in bed. The main thing is to pray!

Pray for a reasonable amount of time.
There is no need to have prayer marathons. Pray for a length of time that is comfortable for both of you.

Consider using a couple's prayer chart

Place a chart somewhere each of you looks every day to remind yourselves to pray. Feel free to print and use this online prayer chart: Keep a Couple's Prayer Chart.

Lord, I pray for my husband, from head to toe:

2011-02-22T08:01:00.003-06:00

His Head - That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:13)
His Mind - That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
His Eyes - That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13, Mark 9:47)
His Ears - That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:12, Psalm 32:8)
His Mouth - That his words will be pleasing to You. (Proverbs 19:14)
His Neck - That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9)
His Heart - That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6;5, Proverbs 3:5)
His Arms - That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)
His Hands - That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19)
His feet - That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25, Psalm 26:3)

Tithing REALLY pays off! Believe me...

2011-02-20T17:08:00.015-06:00

I know on the outside J and I may look pretty well off. For the most part we have been able to be pretty financially successful but with all my health issues in 2010 our financial future has been eluding us. I know it will surprise many of you guys to know that, right now, J and I are struggling. I know it may also be a surprise that I am choosing to write about it publicly...Let's just say it wasn't my choice to write this. I felt compelled...through God, knowing that this could help others. Perhaps this is also a way to humble ourselves.

Have you ever heard God telling you to do something but you did everything imaginable to ignore it? or even reinterpret what you THINK he really meant?

I am definitely guilty of doing that. I know my husband would not particular like that I am write about this but I know there has to be others going through the same things and if I can comfort them in anyway than I think it's worth him getting a little upset at me.

First I have to point out how amazing the Lord really is! Did you know that my last surgery in September 2010 cost over $65,000!! And can you guess how much my husband and I had to pay?....

$65!

That's right only $65 and that's only because I wanted a private room! How good is GOD? Really guys, think about it? Let that figure marinate in your mind... $65,000!! Most people don't even make $65,000 a year! I am so thankful to God because that was definitely His doing! I do have to point out that my husband and I are pretty faithful in giving our tithe to our church so I have NO DOUBT this was GOD blessing us for doing that! Because my husband got laid off last year, there were times we looked at all our bills and thought maybe we shouldn't tithe but those thoughts only lasted a second and instead we gave faithfully and with a joyful heart.

The company I work for is a major national corporation so their insurance is AMAZING! Not only do I give thanks to God but I give thanks to my company!

Here is some scripture on tithing that will give you a place to start in your understanding in this important area. Please note that this is the ONLY place in the Bible where God says to test Him.

Malachi 3:8-10: Will a man rob or defraud God? Yet you rob and defraud Me. But you say, "In what way do we rob or defraud You?" You have withheld your tithes and offerings.

You are cursed with the curse, for you are robbing Me, even this whole nation.

Bring all the tithes, the whole tenth of your income, into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and prove ME now by it, says the Lord, (if you tithe) I will open the windows of heaven for you and pour you out a blessing, that there shall be room enough to receive it.

Luke 6:38: Give and gifts will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, they will pour into (the pouch formed by) the bosom (of your robe and used as a bag.) For with the measure you give out, it will be given back to you.

II Corinthians 9:6-7: Remember this: he who sows sparingly and grudgingly will also reap sparingly and grudgingly, and he who sows generously (that blessings may come to someone) will also reap generously and with blessings.

Let each one give as he has made up his own mind and purposed in his heart, not reluctantly or sorrowfully or under compulsion, for God loves (He takes pleasure in, prizes above other things, and is unwilling to abandon or do without) a cheerful (joyful, "prompt to do it") giver (whose heart is in his giving).

God is telling us to TEST him! So why don't we? I want to tell you He does give back!

This is a continuous processe. Giving generously and getting blessed in return are cycles that will take place through out our lives. You cant simply give once or just for a year and expect God's blessings always. We may not even realize when God has blessed us so it's important to stay close to God and keep your heart and eyes open. We may not realize He actually blessed us until sometime later but I promise you, He will bless you! Now with that said, we are going through another cycle.

My husband, Thank the Lord, found a job and has been there for about 3 months now. I only got paid short-term disability after my surgery, for roughly 6 weeks. So after about 1 1/2 months I was no longer getting paid. I was, however, able to take unpaid leave for the following 2 1/2 months. Needless to say, we spent all our savings to pay for bills and incurred a little bit of a debt. I have been back at work for about a month now and my husband is doing very well and doing better day by day at his new job. He gets a base salary plus commission. So our income fluctuates month to month. We are basically playing catch up right now. We are getting back on track with our bills so that we can start building back up our emergency savings. We are also hoping to start saving again for our first home down payment. Both those funds were just enough for us to get by the last few months of 2010 and the first few months of 2011. Remember, my husband and I have only been married a little over a year! Yeah I know, we have gone through alot for our first year!

This week we hit a very rough patch. We literally are down to our last few cents, actually not even that; we are negative. We have however pretty much caught up with everything. We do not have enough money to get gas or go buy groceries this week so we are going to have to get creative with how we will be getting to work this week and how we will be eating! Prayers work very well when your scared and anxious. The Word tells us not to worry so... I WILL NOT WORRY because I know he will work everything out. All I need to concentrate is how can I live for him today? How can I spread his word today?

My amazing parents, who are always there for us, came down this weekend. They sensed we were having money trouble and actually left us some cash before leaving. They left this morning, right before we had church. With the cash in hand, I was worshiping at church and clear as day heard the Holy Spirit instruct me to give the cash over to the church. Now, you have to understand what kind of person I am to understand that this was a BIG deal. I am very responsible with money and hate paying things late. Literally I hate it! I hate if I go over in my checking account because I feel that depicts me as being irresponsible with money, which I pride myself on NOT being. I am the one in the relationship that manages our finances to ensure we not go over. But all my planning didnt help this time because we are now negative in our account. Though I am negative in my account I still found myself JOYFULLY putting the cash in a tithing envelope and dropping it in the offering plate! It's all God's anyways right? He is simply letting us hold it for a little while. The money my parents gave us could have definitely helped us until my paycheck this Friday but it wasn't meant for us. God had other plans for it and who am I to question His plan?

So here we are...still negative in our account. I did,only for a second, question whether I REALLY heard the Holy Spirit and thought to myself: "maybe I should go back and get the money." LOL I would NEVER do that guys!

Please know that this was a very hard thing for us to do. And we are still wrestling with it. Don't think for one minute that we haven't doubted or been scared or been overwhelmed! But our friends and family have been incredibly encouraging so that definitely helps. Today has been an emotional rollercoaster but at this very moment, at this very second I am at peace. I feel nothing but love in my heart. I am not worried. I am not worried. God will provide.

25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Matthew 6:25-34

Off to one of our 3 church small group meetings this week.. I will definitely fill you guys in with what happens!

God always has a plan!

2011-02-18T18:43:00.004-06:00

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God always has a plan! This is easy to say and far too easy to quote when someone is in the depths of uncertainty. When God seems quiet, perhaps even far away, it is important to remember that God always has a plan.

Finding God’s plan
When you find yourself in the position of not knowing what direction God is leading, consider this, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34 NIV) God reveals His plan step-by-step and day-by-day. If you can’t see where God is leading, perhaps it’s because you have cast your focus beyond today and your next step.

Assurance of God’s plan
If you need more assurance of God’s plan for your life, consider Paul’s words to the Romans, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV) Every Christ-follower has been called for a purpose. God does nothing in a random fashion. You have been called by God according to God’s love and according to God’s loving purpose. This means there is a plan. God always has a plan.

God’s grand plan
While God may not reveal every detail of His plan to you, He will reveal all that is required for you to follow. As a Christ-follower, you have been called to follow one day at a time with one step of faith at a time. While circumstances may appear as if life has no direction or that God has somehow gone on vacation, your dutiful faith-filled stepping moves you along the pathway of God’s plan. Many of us would like to be on the freeway of God’s plan. We must resist the urge to get on the freeway and simply walk the footpath of God’s plan in faith and with the knowledge that God has a plan. Remember, circumstances don’t dictate what God is doing – “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5, 6 NIV)

Thanks Brian Farrar from Medford Christian Living Examiner.

Prayer for OUR Future-- My Personal Dreams & Desires

2011-02-18T10:45:00.003-06:00

Lord, I Pray that you would give J and I a solid vision for our future. Help us to understand that Your plans for us are for good and not evil- to give us hope and a future. (Jer 29:11) Fill us with the knowledge of Your will and in all spiritual understanding and wisdom; that we may have a walk worthy of You, fully pleasing You, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of You. (Col 1:9-10) May we live by being led by the Holy Spirit and not walk in doubt or fear of what may happen. Help us to mature and grow in You daily, submitting to You all of our dreams and desires, knowing that “the things that are impossible with men are possible with God.” (Luke 18:27) Give us God-ordained goals and show us how to conduct ourselves in a way that always invests in our future.

I pray we will be active in service for You all the days of our lives. Keep us from losing our sense of purpose and fill us with hope for our future as an “anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast.” (Heb 6:19) Give us “our heart’s desire” (Ps 21:2) and “the heritage of those who fear Your name.” (Ps 61:5) Plant us both firmly in Your house and keep us fresh and flourishing and bearing fruit into old age. (Ps 92:13-14) And when it comes time for us to leave this earth and be with You, may we have such a strong vision for our eternal future that it makes our transition smooth, painless and accompanied by peace and joy. Until that day, I pray that both J and I find the vision for our earthly future and ultimately our eternal future in YOU!

In Jesus Name, Amen!

My Dreams and Desires:

To be close to God, intimately- EVERYDAY; to walk in His kingdom by how I handle life and other people; and by being a HAPPY person!
To have an amazingly loving and fulfilling relationship with my husband.
To be debt free and abundantly financially flourishing—so much so that we are able to give away a lot.
To live in a beautiful 4-5 bedroom house.
To give birth to and raise 2 beautiful children.
To be heavily involved in our Church.
To be able to do a greater good in society like taking annual mission trips as a family or my endometriosis awareness.
To be able to stay at home to raise our children, take care of our house, cater to my husband and concentrate on my health/healing
To have a successful at-home business where I can use my God-given talent of being an artist/being creative.
To be a solid example of a Christian to our children so I leave behind a great legacy.