GOD IS GAY

Crossroads

2024-12-28T12:40:00.003+05:30

To Kurt

And the crossroads were where the cosmic dance would make a pit stop

Where The cusp of moonlight sonata and the wild tempest swap

The timeless identity or ageless harmony

Didn’t care much, yet their assembly created a dark noted symphony.

Crossing each other they stopped to say hi

Healing in turn all the past goodbye

For it didn’t matter if the instance will last a moment or a lifetime

Yet, not to live in the moment, felt like a crime.

The milky moonlight and the dance of the tempest storm

An exciting divine moment, of the rarest form

For it felt as if there was a touch of divinity

Or was it just another ploy of myriad insanity?

Yet this too should pass, as the moonlight gives way to the morning sun

And no matter how much you sway trying to keep up, the storm will outrun

Yet the moment and the memories of the crossroad divine

Where the two meets up from time to time

Roby

Guiding Principal

2024-12-28T12:29:00.004+05:30

The Durga Puja is a symbolic representation of the triumph of good over evil. The societal justification if kept at this simple term makes it very convenient for the mass people of India majority of whom were or are afflicted by limited aspect of critical thinking.

The catch point here is the oversimplification of the term good and evil where the perceived benefits of being good is intangible yet huge and the perceived punishments of evil is tangible and yet of equal magnitude.

Humans, if not are a group of social psychopath but they generally would always want to think themselves as good. All our justification of our actions is basically aimed to the fact that we are somewhere down the line want to communicate to our inner self that we are a good person and a nice person. No matter how much questionable our actions are we try and justify the same.

It is a lazy approach towards life and over that an undisciplined way of rationalizing which is not very apt for our mental health. And even if it is, yet the society is made up of people who lack clarity in their thinking process. We as humans like to mimic others and take the less risky path and when it comes to ponder upon once’s own actions, they would do the same.

Life is simple yet complex at the same time which might sound paradoxical, but it is something like the dual property of particles and waves of light. Life is light but that light can only burn bright and provide warm if the life form has a constant avenue of thinking his or her actions and by that, I mean any and every action a person undertakes. A consciousness on the events and actions a person will cause and unleash on this material world.

But there is one issue with this aspect of humans. Everyone is too busy and even though most people are gifted with the mental capability to think, yet people are too lazy to do that. May be people will but they will end up trying to justify their own actions rather than take a third parties’ neutral stance and make thinks work. That equanimity requires a bit of work and a lot of training to discipline the mind. It is like lifting weights for the muscles. You have to have a routine and disciplined approach towards the same in or der to manifest the equanimity and in turn develop your own capacity to think critically and with clarity.

Religion it seems today were an instrument to ensure that the mass of population who were not critical thinking would use the same for their reference for actions. However, the same was perhaps initiated during a simpler time and hence a simplification of the stories would often be the best medium to ensure that the mass mental adoption of these stories would be inducted in the society and would act as a guiding principle.

However, when the same is not adapted to the demand of a changing time and changing fabric of the society, the same would become redundant and dangerous for the society in general. Unchanged and unfazed age old traditions would result in fanatism and result in much more number of fanatics in the society and that is when the virtues of religious becomes poisonous and the head of that fire hydra would often resurfaces to ensure tyranny in place of discipline in this world.

The Moon and the wolf

2024-12-28T12:23:00.000+05:30

To Kurt

That lone wolf, outcaste, ravaged and savaged, yet always on the prowl

Survival is all he knew, lonely and angry, ready for a fight, yet accepted his fate when the world played foul

Crazed, driven insane by solitude, yet engrossed to enhance his fortitude

Didn’t wanted favors and never expected love or gratitude

He spend each day trying to make a point

Fulfilling his lust through his hunt

Satisfying hunger was just an excuse,

To risk it all for a moment’s thrill, was where his passion burnt

The Scars in his face and flesh, you can see

The scars in his heart and mind needed empathy

Rage ravaged him out of his affection and desire

Unaware of his own passion and fire

The dark nights were easier for him

The shrouded sky masked his feeling

Illusionary fangs ready to made him look mean

To feel a hint of feeling was like a greasy dream

The full moon

was a different avenue altogether

The wolf admired the moon,

even though she was from a higher order

The lone wolf at times, would step out of the darkness in awe

The slivery light from her, would made his coldness thaw

She was the queen of the night, whom everyone desire

Yet, none of them desired her with his intensity or fire

Yet he knew, that a queen deserves a king

His outcaste blood was not her thing

Still he howled at the full moon often with an unending longing

An un-promised dark unfulfilled desire that made him cry and sing

They were of different places

They were from different races,

He was from the lowest moist dense place of sorrow

She was the fair ruler of the far off night sky, whom he can only follow

~~~Roby

My Quotes

2020-03-13T15:39:00.003+05:30

“Life is just like a wishing well, you can throw all your coins inside only to realize you don’t have any more money to buy next lunch”

Family is a way to stop you from reaching your most deep desired destination

Love is underrated, it can make a saint out of a sinner, a devil out of a dinner, and a man out of a miser

Women are women, and that’s how it is……

Make a wish to kill all wish

Tie a rope to break the illusionary hope

Addiction of life is an addictive dope

End of a rainbow, or the end of a rope

The mantra to success is “If you can’t do it, just fake it” But people don’t say it :)

My point specifically is, life is not about making points, it all about memories and I am a hypocrite

At the end, everyone dies alone

I love you, was the biggest lie I told myself

When you are in Rome, try burning it down

An idea is a seed to development, and development is a seed to destruction and a destruction is a necessity for any creation

A fish breath’s water and drinks air and makes everything look prettier

Where ever you are, I don’t care, my hatred does

Are devils really real, asked Satan to the Gods, to which she smiled and said “I was just kidding?”

My ex girl friend is a bitch, does that mean I am dog?

When love is a chain, fear seems a better option

I want to sleep, forever

Waking up was so much fun, now it’s a bad joke

No one gets left behind, says the one who left first

A Glass half-filled or half empty is boring

Singly Malt is my thing

Salary is like an orgasm, makes you feel better for an instant and then vanishes away

“Love is immortal” So says the mortals

Life is a scary bag of bat shit crazy surprises and the last thing you will find there is a chocolate…..

A dream is just an entertainment for us while we sleep…

A passion for us when we are awake

And a burden for us when the dreamers are dead

Broken mirror ……..cluttered image……and a raptured heart….you can’t amend

She was crazy that was her excuse

He was lazy, that was her excuse as well

PROMISES

2020-03-13T15:38:00.001+05:30

To Kurt

People come and people go

Promised made to and fro

Holding on to promised untold

Unaware of what will unfold

Deep inside you know it’s a lie

Coated with colored sugary dye

Expectations can make you cry

Does it holds true if my eyes are dry?

A Moment and a breath to hold forever

Was it true or a cloying favor

And the care that came as a package

Seems now, more like a baggage

Does it matter if one of them care?

As long as it’s not a two sided affair

Promises made are awfully vulnerable

That’s what makes them so valuable

~~~~~~~~~~Roby

The Game of Card

2020-03-13T15:37:00.000+05:30

To Kurt

A spade is a spade

Empathy is a threat

Left him to his fate

Money was really not that great

Come inside,

Let us all hide

In darkness she cried

Spiraling gap from where they spied

Darkness and tether

The void and the ether

Masking the unmasked to make us feel better

How come the sweet life taste bitter

A diamond is bright

The Red heart can fight

Whereas the clubs are the world’s blight

Spade and its might

Meaning is meaningless

Feelings and its emptiness

Looking for empathy

Ohh the profanity

~~~~ Roby

The Moon and the wolf

2020-03-13T15:35:00.000+05:30

To Kurt

That lone wolf, out-caste, ravaged and savaged, yet always on the prowl

Survival is all he knew, lonely and angry, ready for a fight, yet accepted his fate when the world played foul

Crazed, driven insane by solitude, yet engrossed to enhance his fortitude

Didn’t wanted favors and never expected love or gratitude

He spend each day trying to make a point

Fulfilling his lust through his hunt

Satisfying hunger was just an excuse,

To risk it all for a moment’s thrill, was where his passion burnt

The Scars in his face and flesh, you can see

The scars in his heart and mind needed empathy

Rage ravaged him out of his affection and desire

Unaware of his own passion and fire

The dark nights were easier for him

The shrouded sky masked his feeling

Illusionary fangs to make him look mean

To feel a hint of feeling was like a greasy dream

The full moon

was a different avenue altogether

The wolf admired the moon,

even though she was from a higher order

The lone wolf at times, would step out of the darkness in awe

The silvery light from her, would made his coldness thaw

She was the queen of the night, whom everyone desire

Yet, none of them desired her with his intensity or fire

Yet he knew, that a queen deserves a king

His outcaste blood was not her thing

Still he howled at the full moon often with an unending longing

An un-promised dark unfulfilled desire that made him cry and sing

They were of different places

They were from different races,

He was from the lowest moist dense place of sorrow

She was the fair ruler of the far off night sky, whom he can only follow

~~~Roby

The Wanderer

2016-02-09T12:36:00.000+05:30

To Kurt

As the cold wind swipes my face

And the gale raise high and dances

As the morning sun plays hide and seek

And the rain dampens all your spirits meek

I, the lone wolf, is always on the move

And I don’t have anything to prove

Never to stay in one place twice

Never to pay that ultimate Price

You make noise and clamor

With your small glorified travel for praise and glamour

But have you tasted the salt of a rain

Have you ever strained your ears to the winds song of pain?

We often cross each other in the highway

To the onlookers we look same on any given day

But, don’t let it fool your own self

Unlike you all, to know myself, I don’t need help

We tread the same road but different path

Your invisible chain will bring you back to your berth

While the rain, the sun, the wind and fogs are my constant friend

You keep you visor down, complaining you try to blend

But, I don’t have a shackle of gold to hold my wings

Neither do I have a golden wings

I broke those bonds quite some ages back

And wander across the world, riding my dreams

Roby

Melody

2016-02-01T15:57:00.000+05:30

To Kurt

For I can sing a thousand melody

And strum the loneliest and loveliest of rhythm in my guitar

For I can spray paint the autumn sky with eloidie

Or make the winter night shower with shooting star

Just to see the smile once, just to hear the ring of your laughter

Just to spend a life time, which seems like a moment

Or spend a moment in a lifetime in the warmth of you flight and feather

Yet, to be, and only to be bathed in your fragrance and scent

For, now I can sing the loveliest of song in this winter chill

And I can climb the daunting mountain and the rugged hill

For I know that every step I take, every breath I take, every chain I break

Takes me near to that ethereal lovers eternal lake

For many came and many went,

Like the flowers that blossom in that spring time eve

But, I desired that dark desire, an immortal love with a mortal lover

For there are many who trends the path, yet I wanted us, to be the pathfinder

Light and dark are just a phase, without it one can’t be unfazed

Horizons are always like a mirage, dusty, illusionary always hazed

For I would love to drown trying swimming in the stormy sea

Rather than fade out in the beach with sunshine eternity

Roby

The Lone Wolf

2015-07-24T16:03:00.006+05:30

To Kurt

O to be alone and lonely

A feeling analogous of that of a felony

No I don’t need your apathy

Love is no more a fantasy

A lone wolf and lonely still

Wolf maiden turned out to be sheep in wolf skin

And as the lone wolf howls his loneliness to the moon

Sadly his realisation of his loneliness came a less too soon

~~~The Lone Wolf

Perceptive Aberration

2015-07-10T11:45:00.001+05:30

A 6 by 5 space in a high rise building in Delhi. The sky outside is overcast with cumulonimbus rolling over marking the beginning of the end of the summers which means that everyone now should brace up for the wetness that will preside for the coming months.

I, deskbound in this burrowed 6 by 5 space, is desolated and depressed. May be this mood has something to do with the changing weather. Dark Clouds, dark though, darkness within and extremely bored with the normalcy that has set in life and yet too scared to let go the illusion of a comfort zone that has been framed with in my mind as a so called perspective of current external and internal situation.

Currently I have no faith in anything in this world. You name it I will blame it. I mean I can blame everything including me to such an extent that people often become sore with me and that includes me to, but well I guess that’s just an occasional outburst resulting due to excessive and compulsive self-retrospection.

I like to be abstract and except world to understand what I am trying to communicate, whereas at times I myself forget that communication means clarity from both side.

Yet I like talking in riddles and puzzles except if you expect me to decipher one of yours I am better of sketching lies in that case.

I would often build a card house spending hours, labouring with my last level of concentration and patience, just to see kick it and destroy it at the end.

It gives me the greatest gratification. I mean, it is the only time I feel like god. Don’t get me wrong by thinking that I am an anarchist.

No I am not.

I would like to point out this behaviour as a pointer of right to create and right be obliterate your own creation.

What is a card house?

A card house is nothing but a differtial arrangement of cards in such a manner that it ends up stacking in a very aesthetic manner.

However, it is more worthless than cowshit. I mean you can at least use that for fuel or biogas but what use is a card house to any one including the one who build it.

I often used to build card houses from childhood days and used to take great pride once it was over. But the next moment that huge urge to destroy it would surge in my veins and I felt a deep desire to destroy the same. This desire is somewhat like the desire of drug addict in withdrawal.

So the instantaneous pride has to be followed by the absolute gratification and that gratification came from destroying my own creation.

I often wonder whether this abrasion in behavarioul outlook is only in me or others also have such traits in their though process also.

It was only during Vipassana I got a bit of insight on certain perspective related to this and my mind.

I loved taking huge credit from myself on completing a card house. I used to attach myself, my all existence, my pride, my exuberance with the preparation of that card house.

Deep inside my soul would become impaired when it witnesses me becoming happy due to my accomplishment. An accomplishment which was void.

The soul would wonder why I would rejoice after making something worthless. Is it just because I put a lot of effort to make it?

The soul knew that everyone in this world has the capability to make it but why am I in that instance beaming with pride on achieving something so trivial.

Then there would be a huge mismatch between my feeling and my souls feeling and then a contradiction would crop up in me.

A huge desire, which is perhaps my souls desire to get rid of the illusion that I have created. To be free of my own illusion that I have created something.

So I guess, the greatest gratification comes when I destroy the card house. It is a gratification of letting go of what was never there but only a perspective in my head

Duality

2014-07-18T19:12:00.000+05:30

The two faced duality that offered fabrication in the wiles and truth in the silence in between the words. Yes my lords and ladies, I, would like to take a bit of all your time to talk a bit about well let’s put it this way, one of my favourite subjects… Drugs and Spirituality.

So, why this topic? Why am I making a singular commitment to actually correlate the effects of drugs and suggest the same as spirituality?

If you are no a dopie then you may miss out some of the aspects that I am talking about. And if you are into meditation then perhaps you might still disagree with my though process.

I will be quoting Osho a bit because he was the only guy who was kinda bold in manipulating perspective and giving it a new meaning altogether and guess what Osho also believes that the attraction of Drugs is spiritual. (Ref : http://o-meditation.com/2012/06/12/the-attraction-for-drugs-is-spiritual-osho/)

All he states that only the same should be done in moderation and in utmost guidance till a person actually reaches the state of mind which one reaches through meditation.

Point is there is no point in the whole argument or rather the existing of any point is not that necessary.

Fact of the case is if Drugs and Meditation is similar….i.e one is temporal effect and another is a permanent effect then I would like to bring it in front of you that the end result is a state of mind in surreal existence of neutrality.

Now given to the very objectivity of my observation, and trust me this comes from a person who has been into drugs at one point of time in his life, why would I need a surreal mind set to keep me neutral in the first place. Isn’t that hypercritic in the first instance itself? What am I scared of? What are my insecurities?

I was a dopie guy who liked to get high. But getting high got boring after some time and no, its not because what Osho says that the boringness was due to my body’s increased capacity towards drugs in general. No, I was bored of the same because, I became silent and my sense of observation in that silence was enhance with each time I got high and got I always get high in the first instance. In the very first drag.

What I observed scared the shit out of me. The state of mind of a druggie or a meditative person is impaired as the same is kept in a suspended animated state either by self practice or by stimulated drugs. That mind is unable to either feel happy or sad and perhaps that’s the one time humans truly attain the state of true neutrality.

Neutrality bored me after sometime. I know that prolong use of either drugs or maybe meditation would actually take my mental state and spiritual state to attain neutrality more often but to what end? I understood that it is death. Death of my own self. The self that has loved me so much. But death is truth. The only truth. And like Osho says, that truth is, and truth only is. Then that means that on my death I will attain the neutrality that people are so hungry to attain now and then I will cease to exist. Why in the hell would I be in such a hurry to loose my own self to attain neutrality. If I am incapable to feel pain then I will be an utter failure to actually soak all the beauty and love this world has to offer.

What does this mean? This means that the person loses his or her utter capacity to either love or hate anything this world has to provide and that state of neutral mind makes the person secure of the fact that he or she cannot be affected negatively by the pains that this cruel world actually dishes out from time to time.

Like the duality of yin and yang, I believe that no matter how much pain this world dishes out to you, there is out there the treasures, the beautiful treasures that will never cease to put a smile in your face and make you feel special. But beware, sometimes treasure that can make you smile may come in the form of a sandstone rather than precious diamonds or rubies or jewelleries.

For all men and women must die but before we die no matter how much pain we face, the faith that life will often throw some beautiful should be cherished and realised.

Why live in neutrality because of the fear of pain?

Now, this state of mind would be a sanctuary for people who has been hurt and cheated throughout their life but knowingly or unknowingly these people have lost faith in the one thing… their own true self. Many will tell you that you can find your true self while you are meditating.

No, it’s actually the other way round; meditation is a mechanism to lose your own true self to neutrality. You can be secure but you will loose the very fundamental of life force that has been gifted to you…..the ability to cry and the ability to laugh.

I ventured into drugs, because I didn’t had the time to go for meditation after my lover broke my heart and went out of my life. The reason was same; I didn’t want to feel anything and wanted to secure myself. I wanted that neutrality.

Somewhere down the line, I realised that I didn’t feel any pain and I was content but then again after sometime I wanted to feel happy (there was a surreal pleasure, which I mistook as happiness for sometime) and was unable to feel the same because I had attained a state of neutrality due to my indulgence in drugs. So I didn’t cry but I lost the smile also. I was dead for the very first time in life and it gave me a certain kind of peace. The peace was what I had a glimpse of what was there in the end waiting for me.

So one fine day, I decided that life is not all about sunshine and roses, and if I want to be happy and peaceful then I have to have the ability to face the sadness and disappointment this world has to offer. I should and must be brave enough to accept the duality this life and world has to offer.

I don’t need drugs or meditation to train my brain to neutrality. I fell in love again and yes it took sometime but I fell in love again. Yes there are pain and insecurity attached with it, but when I laugh or when I smile or when I love, I am at peace with myself, I find myself laughing deep, I find myself living again. This will never have been possible if I have lost myself to any of the above two.

There is nothing to attain except peace love and happiness. There is no heaven or hell out there, if there is one then it’s there very much inside you till your breath holds. The moment you die, the hell and heave disappears with you. Why would you want to die before your death?

No, I am not a masochist who will tell you that there is a certain charm in feeling pain. I am a lover would will entice you to believe that there is a certain charm in feeling.

For dead people don’t feel. Dead is neutral. Dead is dead. It cold as a fish and is the nothingness through which nothing sprouts out.

The Virgin

2014-07-18T19:09:00.002+05:30

To Kurt

A little lassie and the bonnie lad

Each other was what all they had

The love of sibling was never corrupt

But for the lad the end was abrupt

The lassie was bonnie and a darling of all

Yet her parents wanted her to take the fall

She was sold in the name of love

Yet her spirit was unbroken by her parents bluff

The lover ravaged her in her first night

Yet no one was there to hear her plight

Her life was chained in a golden prison

Her spirit yarned for love for some unknown reason

The blue sky kindred the fire of her spirit

The waves of the sea enticed her soul and gave her lift

Yet her shackles was too tight to let her go

And she stood alone wondering how it felt to flow with the flow

The lover was a green-eyed goblin

His lust was a by-product of his sin

Yet he was unable to gratify her passion

And decided to kill her and that befitted his ambition

He bloodied her the way a butcher bloodies a lamb

Yet no one can deny god’s hand

She bled and yet she breathed

Promised her lover that she can’t be contained

And then the chase began

It was a run for life and a fun for them

She realised how lonely she was

Yet for the first time she freedom was hers

Till the time they forgot her name

And her parents considered her as their shame

And yet she lived, working her way up the ladder

Her spirit and soul was all that she would adhere

There came many lovers later though

With promises and honeyed tongue of that of a foe

Their sweet talk made her dream again

But then they all placed her in the stand and judged her by her past to show she was a vain

The world laughed at her helplessness

And she cried silently at their selfishness

Till she realised that her dreams has turned into nightmare

And the lads flocked her just because she was fair

This continued till the time there were many flies humming by her

There came a person who was really sincere

She felt the lotus of love blossom for the very first time

Yet trusting him completely felt like a crime

What she would do is what she should do

Yet to comprehend the same was too much of a clue

The society never will understand her love for this person

Would she listen to her heart or would she let go of this only spring’s blossom ?

Roby

Lament of a Dying man

2014-04-17T16:38:00.004+05:30

To Kurt

O the fire in my veins

Her laughter my loss and the shames

Yet my blood boils to the core

I feel dharma has been violated and made obscure

As I wonder around in rage

I dream of the past in haze

Looking forward to quench the thirst of my body

O how can I end this metaphoric blasphemy?

And eye for and eye and blood for blood

Yet I feel betrayed by the lord’s honeyed talk

And as I remain seated I hear their war cry

Laughter escaped my lips yet the throat feels dry

The son of death lord beckons me

The gale child howls to make me flee

The so called mightiest archer wants to rain fire and blight

Killed vasusena from behind, such was his might

But this thirst cant be quenched

As I sat drenched

While the pandavs call me names

To provoke me for their own gains

Don’t they know that I am sinner?

Who unknowingly pitted brother against brother?

What good are they though who all married one woman?

A turned their great Indraprastra into a harem

The 5 were celestial born, not of pure bloodline

Yet our own ancestor found them fine

My father though as per rule was older and the proper heir

Yet his blindness was discredited and they found Padu fair

Oh lord I evoke the ancient rules to show you this usurper

Yet I found that they hall had your favour

Now they dare come to my domain calling me coward

I will meet them and help them fulfil their reward

And the foolish Yudhistir made a pact

To return my kingdom as a matter of fact

Choose a warrior and a weapon

And I will make sure that you both fight in open

And I could have chosen him then and there

And smashed his head with my mace but it won’t be fair

A the cow herd awaited petrified at Yudhistirs foolishness

My answer brought him back from his despair and filled him with happiness

The god child was blessed with power

Yet he laced skill of mace, grace and was more of a brawler

We fought till my skills surpassed his stamina

And I noticed the worried frown in the eyes of Pandava

Yet they were the shameless one

The God child defied the rules of engagement of the cow herd’s fun

This whole war for establishment of the eternal law

Was nothing but a paradigm shift of perception with enormous flaw?

O son of Drone tell me where is the justice in this reverberation

Tags were interchanges and heroes died and anti-heroes are in celebration

Save the world from this blasphemy my friend

Kill them all before death takes you, though I know the reason this world can never comprehend

Roby

Radheya not Kauntiya

2014-04-15T12:46:00.000+05:30

To Kurt

Radhyea is my name

In being suta, there is no shame

Yet the world has never acknowledged me

Always judged by prejudice and hypocrisy

Yet you all mock me

And get cheap trill out as your glee

Not because of my ability

But because of an incapability

An incapability that was not my own

O lords!!!….cursed is the baby on whose birth his mother frown

The river took me to another probability

Ostracised by birth and crippled by humanity

And yet here I am, making my own stand

Burdened by three curses, un burdened by my friends command

Here o Arjuna the thunder of my Vijaya

Take up that Gandiva of your and string thy pratanchaya

Fight well of son of Kunti, for you know your identity

And I live in a distant dream of lie and obscurity

For the god favour your today and blessed you with immortality

But you have my word o Kauntiya, for you I will not make it easy

My path finder is my sworn enemy

My teacher’s curse is my blasphemy

The Brahmins curse is hypocrisy of humanity

Even the goddess earth will not spare me

Blessed are you who have the Narayan as his path finder

Blessed are you who have his enemies favour

But o Arjun , where is your greatness

Your fight doesn’t have any fairness

But I don’t complain for I know it’s a war

And even if you or your honestly falter

For I am a warrior by action not birth

And hence I don’t complain to make it an unworthy situation

O Kaunteya for you has everything a boy can dream

A doting mother who was also a queen

An exemplary teacher who for your sake would scheme

A beautiful wife for whom any man would kill

For I have been a lone wolf ever since

This war here is the end of everything

You Pandav and Kurus are fighting for the kingdom and gain

I o Arjuna, is just here to prove my mantle and for the glory and fame

As suta I lived and I know as suta I will die

But first we live and taste ourselves to a new high

But as all men must die, so shall you

So take up that Gandiva and let’s be through

Spurned by politics, and rejected by society

No one took the pain to teach me

My caste didn’t allow me to be me

And your prejudice was a hilarious hypocrisy

I guised myself as a godchild

Only to be cursed as a charlatan in the wild

But o Krishna I have a question for thee

What would your beloved Arjun do if he knew the truth about me

I won’t question your action my lord

When you shamelessly disclosed my identity and the fraud

Not stopping at that you shamelessly sent her to me

Begging me of her son’s life, which by heart I would do I glee

But tell me o great one, I have given everything and more

Yet this world is not satisfied of its gore

My mother came begging for the life or her children

Forgetting that I too was their older brethren

But here I am stripped to the core

My emotions in turmoil and my armour sore

But tell me o lord how will you measure this man

I am still here to make my last stand

Roby

Sanity or Rationality

2014-01-25T10:36:00.001+05:30

The fact of the case is we see what we perceive. Or is it the other way round.

The meaning of absolute is relative in human perspective. I have grown up thinking that in numerology the numbers denoted the idea of absolute but when it comes to the quantification of the number in itself then human kind is still fumbling with the true identity of the number in itself.

Well this may seem gibberish but to illustrate it let me say that from childhood we learned the numbers in a number system like 0, 1, 2 ….etc. etc.

Now the number 1 is a representation of absolute aspect like 1 pen, 1 men, 1 boy, 1 kilogram, 1 tonne, 1 kilometre and so on. But how did mankind perceive when it comes to quantify the true nature of one in itself and herein lays the fallacy of the term absolute.

What is the true quantification of the number 1 or if I perceive the question in another manner does the number 1 represents anything which can be truly associated with the quantification of 1 in itself. That means can one identify the number of our number system without associating the same with anything. To frame a simple question is “Do mankind have a true definition of any number like 0 or 1?”

Of late a latent clarity has crept up in my mind which made me perceive that the 0 actually has a true form of nonexistence which in turn can be depicted as 0 is absolute but somehow the mind cannot absolve the same for any other numbers.

Zero mean, nonexistence, total obligation, non-presence or absence or anything. Then again does that means zero in absolute terms means non-existence? If so then the sanctity of the number zero is questioned in turn. If zero mean the absence of a substance then how can zero exists in absolute term in a number system? Does that means that the people who was looking for some number in the number system before 1 didn’t find anything and termed it zero because there was nothing present before one or was it because that person wanted to stop somewhere and assumed that the numbers did end somewhere and hence there would be nothing present there and termed that situation zero?

Now if you debate the same with any other number like say “1” then well, in a number system 1 comes after zero. But you can break it further. 0.5 comes between 0 and 1 and then 0.25 comes between 0 and 0.5 and one can break the same into infinite such break ups. Here comes the catch of infinity. So the best fallacy of hypocrisy of our own measurement system comes here… between 0 and 1 there are infinite numbers and all real numbers. So one can safely say that infinites lies between 0 and 1 and yet one is still not sure how to quantify the three things viz. 0 , 1 and infinity.

Let’s say that if 0 means total darkness, non-presence or absence of anything in totally then 1 would mean just the opposite. The presence or existence of number in its truest form. Now subsequently if 1 represents 1 in its true absolute form then 1 cannot be perhaps used in a relative aspect to denote other substances like 1 cannot be used loosely to represent pen, pencil, man, woman, house, chicken, dog, biscuit, meter, kilometre etc.

I mean how can we use the same scale of measurement unit for everything. The question is can everything be measured in one scale rather than varying scales of measurement in order to make life easy while one is shifting more and more from absolute form of measurement system to relative and comparative form of measurement system

Infinite is a substance or a distance? Infinite means endless which again is a relative term or is it the lack of perspective of mankind or the failure to quantify the true nature of number that has led one to believe in infinite. The quintessential question that now arises is though mankind is such a logical and rational life form, yet the whole theory of counting has been based and form out of a relative system rather than that of an absolute system. This in turn would question the logical and rational thought process of mankind in itself.

Does it means that what is defined as sanity and insanity based on the rational thinking may vary with changing perspective with time?

The game

2013-08-01T17:36:00.002+05:30

To Kurt

And smiling across there he bled

While the thief ran up the parapet

Disguised as the vigilante he said

Hear o all, I am thy savior, and I demand respect

The respect was a price to pay

For the game of chair that they all play

Democracy was a mimicry tuned during Independence Day

And he bled there as he lay

Forever it was not so good a place to be in

The piper hums along with his nasty tune and we followed him

Not knowing that the sea of corruption was lying behind the inn

Oh to take a plunge of faith and to find the candle dim

The joker cried as we smiled

The thief and the janitor made up their mind

Then there was a thunder across the sky

Then we found out we all were to die

There will always be a smoking gun

But the thief will always have fun

We all were never a part of this game

The janitor and the joker were the same

Roby

Pathological rapist

2013-07-22T18:12:00.002+05:30

To Kurt

Living hard or living is hard
dusty tombs and its secret guard
Truth or a lie but I am debarred
False praise of a de-tuned songbird

And I see a mother overburdened with offspring
Most of them have a stamp of a surrogated being
And I am left here to wonder in pain
The irony of a son's act to feast on mother's vain

The rabid dogs and the hunger for flesh
Yet you all are scared to start afresh
And the feast has began since the last seven decade
Still we see hungry beggars gathered in the facade

One for one and none for all
Yet here we stand up again to fall
The fallacy of we has been too many
Yet there is still no therapy

Roby

The Judge

2013-05-19T08:42:00.000+05:30

Hi

It has been sometime since I have last entered anything in my blog that is not a rhyme or a poem. Given to the fact that I am not often compelled to actually write anything over here due to the spare audience this blog has, hence I have been quit sporadic in actually penning down my thoughts in a complete sane manner that people who perhaps want me to.

Off late I have been on the receiving side of a constant facade of judgmental spree from many of my acquaintances. Off late every one in Indian Society has been pretty vocal about exercising their rights. I mean yeah its good to be vocal about it!!! Its also good to be aware of your rights. But duty?? The big D....no one ever bothers to state the fact about their duty and how true one has been towards their duty.

Ofcourse you can tell me anytime that the so called duty is not penned down in golden words any where in the constitution, and even though if it was then people perhaps would terms out constitution non democratic...:)...but off course we do have a list of fundamental duties listed in our constitution....But I dont think people talk about that much ....do they???
What a sham!!!

Trend now a days is if you are a gay....you are supposed to be proud...If u r straight...well then people terms you either prejudice or a stereotype...I mean wt* . Can't I be straight and be proud of it....??
People are too much into judging and commenting and been vocal about every aspect expect for been vocal about doing their part and their own duty properly.

Trend now a days is, every fucking person want to be a critic. Reason for the same is " its easy to aim and cheap shot some one with your lame observations than trying something out your own self...and off course you get a fair amount of attention from your friends and people..."

MY point is how can you criticize lets say a movie, when you dont know what it takes to make a movie, or a novel or a book when you yourself haven't the tenacity and writing skills to match them, or a cricket or a footballer or any one when you are a god damn loser man???

No its not just the people around me but every one in our generation is so fucking eager to brand things.....Dude life aint about brands and shits....Its very simple and fun...

Its like the road and your motor cycle, either you enjoy the road or you are too busy in putting u r self in all the tinker bells and accessories like armors and jackets and stylish helmets and is worried that if you fall then there will be a scratch in one of these things.....

In my life, I have rarely came across an honest persons...Very few....Most are plastic....
But yeah there are few of us....There is a small wolf pack from the dying breed who still roams the wildness or what so ever is left of it.....

And please DEAR CRITICS...get a life,...get a job...get a passion...get a dream....and stop picking on others till you yourself has done or experienced the same thing...

AND NO I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIKE OR DISLIKE SOMETHING.....YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO INFLUENCE OTHERS LIKES AND DISLIKE BY IMPOSING YOUR LIKES AND DISLIKES...THAT'S LAME AND UNETHICAL TO START WITH....

The Keeper of Creed

2012-08-06T12:38:00.002+05:30

To Kurt

Passion for faith and a fire for hate

In your name I will raise the dead

The banners raise and the sigil flies high

Still my soul feels all dry

Am I in you or are you in me

They say you have power to make the blind man see

Some says you speak to Mosses through a tree

Are the men of this world really free?

My existence fuels your ego

People say you gain what you sow

The rumor was that the son’s wife was a whore

Mary was never lets off that door

O creator you created us all

Where would you be if everything fall

Who will serve you in they hallowed hall

With all the human’s dead and gone

The Magnus carter was never drawn up

The king, the shepherd….and the dirty dog

The world is wrapped in a blanket of fog

Creed was like a leech sticking out of wet log

My head live up to your expectation

Baseless act is faith’s demonstration

Tell me how many wars have been fought in your name

O I forgot…..for you it’s just a game

Orderliness is a state of mind

Randomness is entropy of its own kind

Though the quest to devise the order in chaos is still on

Till then perhaps your rule will not fall

--------------------------------------------------Roby

Gratification

2012-07-18T16:05:00.004+05:30

I don’t usually find much kick writing my thoughts without rhyming them and now that I have really reached and stretched the limitation of my limited vocabulary I find it extremely tough to actually pen down my thoughts exactly the way I think them to be.

Yet off late and for quit some time I have been totally pondering on aspects which are perpetually not necessary for a guy like me to contemplate on. I am 29 now. Working, doing exactly the things I would never love to do but I guess I am doing it because I was raised and trained in that way where my priority would actually be on my needs than that of my wants. Yes, no matter what I haven’t yet been able to take the jump and well I guess now that this life is gone by, maybe next time.

Now here is a catch. Having wasted three decades I wonder the enormity of the sin I have committed. Thing is we take many things granted and acted upon the same with the least care and dedication. Resultant is people end up like me. I mean mostly but not all.

The pursuit of Happiness is the actual happiness rather than the illusionary moment that is reached only for a fraction of second in that pursuit. Now is it like reaching climax while self pleasing? I though find it very difficult to segregate the fact about which one is more pleasurable …..The way to the climax or the climax itself…?? Kind a tough and I bet there will be a healthy difference of opinion but the important aspect of the whole thing is to feel well let’s say….gratified!!

Now gratification is the key word. The finality and the absolute in this dynamic world. A world where it’s hard to measure the absolute sense of any thing and great mind like Cantor went mindless figuring those out, the ultimate God numbers. Cracking the code to define everything perhaps by its true name, value, or quantity but most importantly the depiction of true number. Any way the point is to define and brand things in absolute terms and making it possible.

Now that human mind is yet to comprehend the whole aspect and foundation of infinity and define of the absoluteness of the same, hence it is best that till that time let us take gratification as the absolute reference of human life. Now gratification and the means of achievement of gratification is an elusive corridor which is most of the time veiled with many a distractions of mundane daily needs.

The Vanguard

2012-07-11T13:47:00.001+05:30

To Kurt

Ever and ever they call your name

Getting higher by playing the philanthropic game

And oh how you bully us all to shame

The gratification that comes with each of your blame

The massacre of the humankind

Equality precedes the talented mind

But how to measure the fallacy of doom

When you push us all in one room

Morbid fascination and the contemplation

To be guided in the guild of happiness for all

Oh what a fun....let us all take the fall

Some one cried freedom from somewhere

Then you find them play truth or dare

While he was glittering in the stage my dear

And we were confuse as whom to fear

Suddenly a crack made the mirror to break

The smile and the laughter were just fake

The scale again was tilted to one side

Equality ran out in shame to hide

And then the fools pranced up the stage

Only to find them selves in a cage

While the shinny guy tuned back his head

And Says “I win your stakes and that is what I will take….”

……….Roby

Mediocre Me...

2012-07-07T15:54:00.002+05:30

To Kurt

Hey You, Will you be me

To feel my apathy

Seemly no

Oh yeah Baby tell me so

Finality of Therapy

Awkward resolution to squeeze me

In Love with the dirty golden liquid

Need some help to keep the high spirit

Hell ya! I bought my self some smile

Need to store them in a file

Come on girl lets dine

Wont eat you, trust me you be fine

The roses are red

Colored by blood

Yet the colors fade with time

Need a gun to paint them fine

And I am poor

But are you sure

There is another door

Hidden somewhere in this smoky floor

And we trade here forever

Status for fun is a mighty endeavour

To be branded mediocre by another mediocre

Well I am the jack who's better than the other

Love the sunshine just like you

Yet its limited only to the few

And the spot lights focused on the parasites

Hiding their face behind someones hide

The foolish men and the silver screen

The men in the green field are just too mean

But the kingdom was filled with blind men

And they threw down the green note in the dirty drain

-----------Roby

2012-01-06T17:32:00.000+05:30

To Kurt

Destiny is a mockery
When you play the dice with me
Though of making you to laugh
End up crying bluff

These words are not mine
So we cant be partners in crime
Ever since I lost myself
I have been using your help

Though about planting a seed
Fighting hard to buy a creed
Cut my self scratching as I did
Fuel your ego to feed

Myself alone and disarmed
Placed myself in edge to be harmed
There I found my solace
While I saw him tying his lace

Emptiness is fulfilling me
Staging my sadness as glee
Waving of waiting for
Too close all the door

And then I dont regret a thing
While I see your play and sing

Roby

Black Pegasus from my Dreams

2011-12-21T15:24:00.000+05:30

To Kurt
A white walled room, with a dais in the center stage
The sands of time were lost somewhere in the haze
And he was singing among the gods, with a guitar around his neck
And they didn’t mind him sing, said he was a fake

Some how I was looking for my brother, when I noticed him
Felt like an old man trying to dust his sin
Though in life I have seen his picture, though him to be thin
And the angles went off to their duties carrying proudly their angelic fin

He kept singing for all that mattered to him
Enthralling me to stay back as long as he sing
O how it feels to be mortals standing among the gods
Sadly we both ignored the gods and held on to each other

He played for me and me alone
Didn’t care if any one frown
I stood there for him and him alone
For his song made its way in my bone

The god took an insult when we mortals didn’t pay them heed
Said we are sinners and must be paid for our greed
All we did was entertain each other as long as we stood
But the angles came up to force us apart and sniggered under their hood

Then there was a trumpet sound announcing our demise
The angles will race in mighty Pegasus to show us their might
One mortal who is greater of we two will be challenged in the race
The idea was nothing much, but just to blacken our face

The angles sat upto the mightiest white Pegasus back
While he was given small and weak Pegasus which was black
And there the bugle range again, sounding the beginning
Though we both knew that the race won’t be clean

As they rode to glory, I found him trail behind
As if he was tired of all the toils of this previous life
Yet there he was riding behind every one
And it was just like that, we both were not having any fun

Well the human soul is mighty thing
The angles didn’t plan their bargain
He was born to win
And so his Pegasus suddenly took up wing

Ohh how lovely it seems when we mortal beat angles in their own race
I wonder perhaps that why they cover their hooded face
Yet one is foolish to underestimate the angles grace
One took out a crossbow to end the embarrassing case

I saw the bolts strike the black Pegasus down
He was winning, but now they won’t let him have the crown
I followed him with his fall
But the fall from the heave its way too tall

I knew where to find him again
Though I was not very certain
The doubt and fear in me would hold me back
But the curiosity make be back track

There I was again in a white walled room
Though none of us were supposed to be there so soon
The fire in the fire place was in full bloom
5 bloated figured stood there as if facing their doom

I tried frantically to look for him
I knew in my heart, that what happened was an unforgiving sin
I searched the bloated green face of theirs looking for my kin
Asking my self what I can do to find him

Then I look at the 5th one staring at me
The eyes were asking me to properly see
I didn’t knew now what to do, now once I have found him
I am too small to undo the sin

The five stood back looking through me
As they were looking through my soul to eternity
I was looking for one and still I wonder
The other four were brothers and sister who were waiting forever

They came time and again to amuse our desire
Yet no one understood their passionate burning fire
Though the cause was not too much dire
They would bribe the angle and get the black Pegasus on hire

Roby