God, women, and dating

Identity theft in the church

2011-11-11T10:26:00.000-08:00

A while back I gave a message on our identity in Christ. Seeing as how my blog is about God women and dating I feel its important to understand who we are before we begin partnering with others in a relationship.

These are "my notes" from that message. The thoughts may seem a bit choppy but I've tried to convert it to a flowing blog as best I can. Hope you enjoy!

Identity theft in the church

We’ve all heard about identity theft in today’s world. What happens when someone steals your identity? Your name, your reputation and your credibility are compromised if not destroyed. Ironically when we lose our identity in Christ the very same happens to us. Much of the Church walks around with no credibility and no authority. I would venture to say it is largely because those members have either lost or never learned their own identity.

I. What is our identity?

Our identity is: “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual.”
It is what defines us, distinguishes and sets us apart as being unique in this world.

A. What are the characteristics Christ assigns to us when we enter into a love relationship with Him?

· Cleansed: Eph 1:7-8 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us.

o He demands to take our crap, our issues and problems for Himself.

· Justified (declared innocent and without guilt): Rom 5:1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

· Eternal recognition: John 5:24 Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

· Freedom from bondage (Involuntary servitude): Rom 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. **An important note here is there is no condemnation, but there IS accountability.

· Reception of the Holy Spirit: 1corn2:12 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.

Understand that this is not simply how Christ sees us, it IS who we are. It is not optional, avoidable, or deniable.

II. What are the roles of our identity?

The scripture as a complete word, both Old and New, show two roles, different and yet bound by love: we are the bride of Christ the Son, and Children of a Holy Father.

A. The bride of Christ:

· All creation calls points to God, so much of our interaction with each other has the potential to teach us about how we interact with God, and Him with us.

· Gen2:18 God said “It is not good for the man to be alone” Part of a bride’s “role” is companionship. Christ desperately desires our companionship. Without your love and without your presence His heart breaks, weeping and crying out. <john11:35 “Jesus wept”>

o I would venture to say Christ still sweats blood on our behalf.

· Also a bride is a helpmate. While Jesus is not found lacking in anything, nor in need of anything, He does seek our help. <matt 21: 33 “parable of the landowner”

a) We are His voice and hands to a broken society. As willing bond servants we have chosen to be laborers in His vineyard, to be His ambassador to the world. 2corn 5:20

· As His bride we are called to love Him unconditionally, which can only be achieved through choice. Just as He chooses to love us continually regardless of our actions we must choose to love Him continually lest our actions lure our hearts away from Him.

· Finally the bride is uniquely equipped to bless her groom. After being intimately involved with the groom, she brings forth life. As Christ’s bride, we must first be intimate involved with Him, and then we WILL bring forth life. Life is almost a side effect of that intimacy, even unintentionally life will come when we are one with Christ.

B. A child of the King

· Rom 8:15 “…but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”” We are brought into the family in full.

· Rom 8:17 “and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ…” All that is our Fathers is made available to us.

· John 15:2 “...every branch that bears fruit, he prunes so it may bear more fruit.” Like any good parent He disciplines His children, which, will often seem painful to the children but betters them none the less.

o As we mature we understand better why we were disciplined

· Eph 1:3 “…who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ…” By being His child we are blessed beyond our imaginations. Every step we take with God is a step anointed with God’s favor, and as long as we are walking with Him, His blessing, His anointing, and His favor will accompany us.

o I had a week at work where I consistently failed. After doing my job for a few years and working in this business for 6 years you would think I know what I’m doing. I felt very low about myself.

o I spoke truth to myself and the situation and owned the fact that I am a child of God, that I have Gods favor and God’s blessing. As a result my attitude aligned. Shortly after I began doing my job properly again. My knowledge and work ethic had never changed, but I took ownership of God's anointing. That made all the difference.

· 2 Pet 1:4 “For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. God, a Holy, and perfect father whose mere presence commands obedience and awe, took the time to not only speak, but to make a vow with us that we would be part of Him if only we would accept Him as He is for, who He is.

These are our two roles if you will: To be a loving, respectful, caring, and passionate bride to the ultimate groom. Also we are to be children: trusting, playful, full of laughter and joy in our father’s arms.

Receiving a woman's heart.

2011-11-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

There are numerous books, thoughts, and teachings about men and women. I've realized the reason there is so much out there is because this is still such a consistent problem. I will primarily be speaking to men through this and I also encourage comments, and your "two cents" on this because its something I will also be learning on for a long time.

Receiving a woman's heart:

The other night God revealed this lesson to me in a new light. I was walking in a parking lot and was near this guys car. This car looked like something you would see in a fast and furious movie, except it was a failure... you know the stupid looking car I'm talking about. Well the owner (a ways off) thought I was checking out his car and he did not approve. He began yelling and informed me messing with someones car was a good way to get shot among other things. I simply laughed at him and went on about my business. Later on I shared this special moment with my girlfriend and her response to this was "Please try to be careful". Now guys I'm pretty sure we've all had a lady in our life say almost this exact thing to us. Wife, girlfriend, or just close friend, we have all heard this before. Now to be fair, guys, we will often times do... questionable things, especially with other guys. My friends Thomas, Johnny and Josh can all testify to those moments with me.

Here is where things get interesting, how do we receive such a comment? For every guy that has heard that line "please be careful" how many times have we responded with "yes mother"? While sometimes the woman may be speaking from a place of trying to control and even mother, typically that is not the case. As a man hearing this our first response is defensive. We take this as she does not think we are capable of handling the situation. But is that her heart? Is she attacking our masculinity? The typical response of "yes mother" is so acidic to a woman's heart. We receive it as her attacking us, and in turn we attack her... This is whats known as a failure.

When I saw my girlfriend's response (this was through texting) I was surprised that I did not feel attacked. I did not feel the urge to defend myself or belittle her. That's because when I read it I knew her heart. Her heart in that moment said the complete opposite of how we as men, and even myself, normally receive it. Her heart was "I know you can handle this, but I'd rather you not prove it". She was in no way doubting me, but was concerned for my safety. If there had been a physical fight with that guy, regardless of the outcome he would have landed at least one punch. She did not want to see me experience any pain.

The worst part about this situation is had I responded defensively, and thank God I did not, but it would have began laying a foundation that says "I don't need you, your opinion does not matter and your God given ability to nurture is not welcomed with me". It would have been literally spatting at her heart, and those characteristics unique to a woman that is needed in a man's life.

My Generation.

2011-11-11T08:07:00.000-08:00

This is a blog I posted many years ago . I also feel it was one of the most God inspired things I have ever written so I felt it merited being republished.

A couple days ago an 18yr old died in a motorcycle accident. His name was Derek, while I never knew him I know many of his friends. I am 20 myself and have seen numerous friends die. I talked to a friend who in the last 48hrs had 5 hrs of sleep because she was up with her sick son all night. Another friend who is desperately trying to change her life for the better, yet can't get the pieces to come together. A very good friend of mine who is gay was downtown and a 'street evangelist' kept coming up to him. My friend turned around and said 'you think I'm with her, no I'm with him. Your church doesn't want me.' So many people my age, myself included, whose biggest fear in life is to be alone. We are rejected by our family, our parents, our managers, our pastors. There is a website called 'I hate young people'. We strive for individuality and to think for ourselves. We will not swallow the answers of yesterday that have no meaning in our lives today. Because of this we are discarded as a lost generation.

Tradition, religion, mundane living, for my generation, this is death. We are told you shouldn't dress like that, you shouldn't have that tattoo, you just need to have more faith, or I know you miss your friend but everything happens in God's time, your a single mother?!?......., be careful about having gay friends their life style might rub off on you, don't worry about the money God will provide. Those lines sound very familiar to me, I've heard them plenty. In fact its in the bible "What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law....hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people's faces. You wont go in yourselves, and you wont let others enter either."

When will the church, God's people, lift a finger to change this. A few have, and for that I applaud you, regardless of how many others condemn you.

Those words still echo in my mind "your church doesn't want me". I believe my entire generation could be summed up in that line. Don't worry the message is received loud and clear, your spot in the 3rd pew for the second service is safe and sound.

To the single mom I have great respect for you and I'm proud to watch your son grow. To my gay friend you have been a great influence in my life and in my job, I love you. To the many people, friends and family of Derek, I do not have the answers to your questions, but I will listen just the same.

Finally to the church."As a Christian its my duty to ask: Are you lifting a finger now? Which one?ut my lil blog.