God's Delicious Favor

When You Rise Up - Chapter 9 - The Discipline of Discipline

2017-11-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

Spring Mountain Ranch State Park, Nevada (Nov'16)

1. Share the most challenging part of discipline your children? What specific Biblical lessons from this chapter could help you to parent more effectively?

For me, the most challenging part of disciplining my kids is consistency. I tend to be a bit extreme either super nice until the kids take that for granted and then I fly off the handle. My husband is in the middle usually and he's very consistent. I tend to take after my parents and I know it can be quite confusing. However, in the past 4-5 years, since my husband and I have been married, we've been working together to help me be more consistent. It isn't easy.

Proverbs 29:15 says, "Punishment and discipline can make children wise, but children who are never corrected will bring shame to their mother."

The 3 lessons - Don't Discipline in Anger; Discipline for disobedience or rebellion, not accidents or childishness; Be Consistent in Discipline are really wise things for me to do to be a more effective parent. And those 3 things are things I continue to work on. When I get overwhelmed, lack sleep, over commit to things, I tend to not make good decisions and can discipline in anger. I need to probably count to 10 and acknowledge that I'm angry, tired, overwhelmed or whatever emotionally charged and wait until I cool down.

My husband is a much better example.

2. What are some key values and teachings that you have been teaching or want to become intentional about teaching your children? Are you consistent in partnering with your husband on these values and goals?

I want to teach my children that disobedience and rebellion bring about not good consequences, to accept responsibility for their choices and the outcome. And the correction and discipline that we are doing is because we are teaching them because we love them. We want them to make good choices with hopefully good consequences and that they learn to make wise choices for themselves.

For the most part, I am consistent in partnering with my husband in these values, but if anyone falters, it's me. I can be too permissive sometimes, or sometimes I think my husband is too harsh and then I feel like I want to usurp him. A few times I've done this and it hasn't been good between us and it ALWAYS backfires on me with the kids.

3. Review the four Biblical principles for disciplining children in this chapter. Discuss which of the four were most beneficial or helpful and why.

The discipline with consistency is the most beneficial because this helps my children learn better rather than learn to be manipulators, which I think I have created. I notice that because of my inconsistencies, the kids try to get away things with me, but rarely try to do this with my husband. I truly believe that consistency helps my kids WAY better than being inconsistent, by providing them with safety and love, but also helps them make better decisions for themselves.

4. Sometimes the hardest part of parenting (or doing anything) is waiting to see the results of our efforts. How do these verses give you encouragement?

Galatians 6:9 - We must not get tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time. We must not give up.. (ERV)

I think it's obvious from this verse to keep up the fight, to keep on keeping on because the end result WILL be good, even if the short-term may be frustrating.

Ephesians 6:10-12 - 10 Finally, build up your strength in union with the Lord and by means of his mighty power. 11 Put on all the armor that God gives you, so that you will be able to stand up against the Devil's evil tricks. 12 For we are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in the heavenly world, the rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers of this dark age. (GNT)

.These verses tell me I cannot do it alone that I NEED God's strength. I need the WHOLE armor of God and I must rely on Him. I must NOT give the devil any place and the fight I see right before me isn't from an earthly realm, but in the spiritual realm. That is why in order to defeat the enemy, I might fight this as a spiritual war, with spiritual weapons. Only God can truly defeat the enemy.

Psalm 34:15 - The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous [those with moral courage and spiritual integrity] And His ears are open to their cry. (AMP)

My righteousness comes from Jesus Christ and being in right standing before Him, repented, forgiven. God hears my cries. He listens and He acts.

5. Is your child or children struggling with obeying you? Why do you think this is true? Prayerfully ask the Lord if there are issues of inconsistency in your way of disciplining. Or if you have discipline in anger, will you confess that anger to God now. Perhaps you need to seek your child's forgiveness as well.

Yes, my children struggle at times to obey, but now seeing other people's children and how they are in their teens, I see that my kids struggle way less than other teens to obey because at least when they were young, I did correct & discipline them, while loving on them. Though I wasn't consistent, I did set healthy boundaries usually for them and now they are able to make much better choices in their lives.

There are inconsistencies still in how I discipline or when I discipline. I can get a little lazy on this depending on my husband more on this, but I need to make sure I am following through. What helps is if I write things down.

I have disciplined in anger, but I have gotten much better at not doing this. I have repented for these times. And, I have asked my kids to forgive me.

6. Share one verse or insight from this chapter that gave you encouragement and hope as a mom. Why did you choose that verse?

I love Proverbs 29:17, "Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad." I am seeing how correction and discipline has helped our kids choose better friends and people to be around them. They haven't tried to be sneaky now as they are teenagers because I corrected this when they were much younger, even before my husband came into their lives. It was a challenge then to get them to not be sneaky, correct & discipline, but we're seeing the fruit now. And, I pray it continues as they leave the house as adults to choose to surround themselves with good people and choose to make good & wise choices for their lives.

When You Rise Up - Chapter 8 - The Necessary Nine

2017-11-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

My Kids & Their Cousin Near Star Valley, AZ (Dec'16)

1. What characteristics do you think are most important in close friendships? Share some that are non-negotiables for you.

Respect, courtesy, thoughtfulness, the ability to listen, kindness. All the Fruit of the Spirit are really good to have in close friendships, though.

2. As you think about each of the nine fruits of the Spirit, write out how you see these growing in your own marriage relationships? How do these manifest themselves in your friendships?

Love - I love my husband by serving him in his many hobbies and things. He loves me by wanting what's best for me, for my health.
Joy - I think we could have a lot more joy if we didn't nit pick on each other so much. My husband sees with a really critical eye. For me, I am always on the go and sometimes my To Do List steals my joy, or my husband's critical spirit steals my joy.
Peace - We have more peace now after being a part of the Titus Bible study now for over a year, but this is definitely still a work in progress.
Patience - We each have some level of patience for each other, but we can also be impatient with each other. Work in progress.
Kindness - My husband shows me kindness in different ways than I show him. It's a challenge to describe this.
Goodness - I think both of us want what's good and best for the other person, never wishing or wanting any harm to come to the other person.
Gentleness - My husband is usually a more gentle person to me than I am to him. I can be quite hostile, but I feel that a lot of times I feel stressed.
Faithfulness - I allow no male relationships into my life that would threaten my marriage. If there is a male that does not respect my marriage boundaries, then I am quick to cut that person off.
Self-Control - I'm not saying everything on my mind, especially when I'm emotional. Though my husband still says a lot of mean things to me when he's upset, it's less than he used to.

3. Are there any areas of weakness that you know that you should confess as sin and forsake and allow God to work on this in your own life? Write them here.

As much as I can say about my husband having a critical spirit, I know I can be quite critical and mean, too. I tend to hold things inside, not sharing it with others until things get too much for me and then I explode. I know I need to learn to be able to talk about my frustrations in a healthy manner with my husband, but I can get quite animated and upset easily. God gives me plenty of opportunities to practice this and I keep failing.

4. Discuss other creative ways that you can teach your children about the Fruit of the Spirit. If they are young you may want to choose different ways than if they are older or teenagers.

We can have healthy discussions on how to deal with uncomfortable or challenging situations, or use situational examples. That's not real creative, but hopefully it works.

5. Share any insights or Scripture that spoke to you in this chapter. How can you use this to become a more intentional parent this week?

I can see how my life would have been so much easier had someone taught me to choose my friends based on how much of the Fruit of the Spirit they had, as well as my spouse. But I never saw it that way nor was taught that way and haven't taught that to my kids. It seems almost too late and life can be challenging despite the many rewards we have. Maybe it isn't too late and I can still teach my kids before they are adults?

When You Rise Up - Chapter 7 - Back to the Basics

2017-11-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

The Superstition Mountains at Lost Dutchman State Park (Dec'16)

1. Share what person(s) that you most admire or respect. Why do you respect him or her? What qualities do you see in their lives that you'd most like to have in yours?

I most admire the woman, Charlotte, who introduced me to Jesus at a young age. She had a husband who was not saved, but she was the best example I know of a woman who loved her husband, respected him, always thought and presented him in the best way. She prayed for him continually and shortly before he died of cancer, he accepted Jesus as his Savior. She loved the Lord dearly, always prayed for my family, and took me to church throughout my younger years and when I would go back to my hometown, she would take me to church. She was such a godly example. She also was a godly wife & mother, even though her children were wayward and did not follow God, but she never gave up on any of them. She continued to love them and pray for them through the rest of her life until she died in 2006 in her mid-90s. She was always doing what she could to lead people to Jesus and disciple them.

2. Read Psalm 15 - God, who gets invited to dinner at your place? How do we get on your guest list? ²“Walk straight, act right, tell the truth. ^3-4“Don’t hurt your friend, don’t blame your neighbor; despise the despicable. ⁵“Keep your word even when it costs you, make an honest living, never take a bribe. “You’ll never get blacklisted if you live like this.” List the character qualities that you find from these verses describing the individual who is close to God? Name one of these that is a strength in your life? Which one is a weakness that you'd like to strengthen?

Walk straight
Act right
Tell the truth
Don't hurt your friends
Don't blame others
Despise the despicable
Keep your word
Make an honest living
Never take a bribe

Never take a bribe is something I think of this list is something I can say I do not do. It's cost me a job and a bunch of things in life. A weakness of mine is not to blame others. I'm working hard at taking responsibility for my stuff and not blaming others, or making excuses.

3. I Corinthians 15:33 - 33 Don’t be fooled: “Bad friends will ruin good habits.” (ERV) reminds us not to be deceived and that "bad company corrupts good morals." How can we avoid corruption from wrong friendships, but still demonstrate kindness? Is it ever okay to disallow your children from certain relationships?

My daughter knows a number of people that are not of good character at school and though they are smart and show a good face to parents, they really are not nice people, nor do they have good character. I told her to still show them kindness and respect, even if they do not deserve it. Always be courteous, but you do not have to allow them to get closer to you. Yes, it is okay to disallow one's kids from certain relationships. I am grateful, however, that both my kids are pretty good at discerning good people in their lives and when those people turn into not such good people, they distance themselves from them.

4. From the following verses, how do you think God feels about corrupting influences in our lives and that of our children?

Proverbs 4:14-15 - 14 Do not go where evil people go. Do not follow the example of the wicked. 15 Don't do it! Keep away from evil! Refuse it and go on your way. (GNT)

God doesn't want you to follow not good people. Don't do as they do.

2 Timothy 2:19-23 - 19 But God’s truth stands firm like a foundation stone with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and “All who belong to the Lord must turn away from evil.” 20 In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. 21 If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. 22 Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. 23 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. (NLT)

God wants you to make good choices & decisions as well as be around people that are not going to lead you astray. As we get stronger in the Lord, this allows us to be more used by God for His purposes. However, if your character is not good and you are easily led astray, much harder to be used by God in a good way. Don't argue with fools. It's foolish.

5. What thought or verse from this chapter was most helpful to you? What will you do differently this week in your parenting as a result?

The thought most helpful to me is how am I role modeling to my son and daughter how a woman and wife should be? Am I treating my husband with love and respect? Do they see me treating others with kindness? Would I want my son to marry a woman similar to me? Do I show my daughter what kind of woman she is to be and the type of man she is to marry? Do I show my son the type of woman he should marry? I need to continue to be more intentional about my role as a wife and mother, as well as a woman, daughter, aunt, sister, friend.

When You Rise Up - Chapter 6 - The Battle For Morality

2017-11-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone National Park (July 2014)

1. Share some ways in which parents can effectively offer protection for moral purity with children, especially in the early, formative years.

They can limit what the kids view on TV, in movies, magazines, etc. They can also talk about what the Bible says about this stuff and how men and women are to dress. They can know what their kids are doing on the internet, who their friends are, Find My iPhone, monitor their phones, emails, social media. They can put blocks on things on the internet. Also, they can do background checks on people their kids interact with (if adults), get to know the families of their kids' friends, etc.

2. How are children (and adults) under attack in our culture today when it comes to our self image? What can we do to protect our families from this attack?

Our society advocates saying and doing anything you want, as well as always being entitled. All this goes against the Bible. Society says if we have standards for morality, or behavior or ethics, that we are slammed and put down. The media is really good at attacking wholesome values, but as well as brainwashing kids and people through advertisement and repeated propaganda on how to think.

We can talk to our kids about what the media and society does and why we believe what we believe and what it takes to stand for our beliefs. We don't have to shove our beliefs down other people's throats, but we can still take a strong stance, love other people, accept them, show them kindness no matter what they believe. But we do not have to agree with them.

We can also help fund organizations and people who do things to help protect our families and freedoms. We can role model through our own behavior, our lives, that Christ is first and foremost, but that also means we are to love people, treat them with respect, treat them well.

3. How do these verses encourage you to keep standing firm in teaching moral purity to your children?

Psalm 1:1-3 - Great blessings belong to those who don’t listen to evil advice, who don’t live like sinners, and who don’t join those who make fun of God. ²Instead, they love the Lord’s teachings and think about them day and night. ³So they grow strong, like a tree planted by a stream—a tree that produces fruit when it should and has leaves that never fall. Everything they do is successful. (ERV)

These verses tells me that if I get my nourishment from the Lord, that I will produce good fruit, in my case, my children. I don't join in what the world says I'm to do, but to obey and honor God in everything, obey His teachings and teach/role model them to my kids.

Psalm 138:7-8 - When I am surrounded by troubles, you keep me safe. You oppose my angry enemies and save me by your power. ⁸You will do everything you have promised; Lord, your love is eternal. Complete the work that you have begun. (GNT)

These verses tell me to keep making good decisions that bring honor to God. God will protect me and save me. However, that doesn't mean in this world that harm might not come to me still, but God's eternal spiritual protection is there. I am His and the devil cannot claim me. God will fulfill His destiny in me.

Romans 12:1-2 - 12 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (NLT)

Allow Jesus to mold me and transform me, by changing my attitude, my mind and then my actions will follow. Daily I'm to continually lay everything down to Jesus and serve Him and that includes in my marriage & kids.

Colossians 3:1-4 - 3 Therefore if you have been raised with Christ [to a new life, sharing in His resurrection from the dead], keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind and keep focused habitually on the things above [the heavenly things], not on things that are on the earth [which have only temporal value]. 3 For you died [to this world], and your [new, real] life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. (AMP)

We're not to put so many value on things that have no eternal value. Do things that matter and show that to our kids, too.

4. We are all too programmed to try to do whatever we want when we want it. Why wait? Look up the following verses and discuss what they reveal about God's perspective on waiting. Share your insights.

Psalm 25:3 - No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause. (NIV)

Not being able to wait for things can have detrimental effects. It can destroy families. I can use my own inability to wait for certain things or that I did wait for awhile, but ultimately gave up waiting and the consequences weren't good. Lots of brokenness.

Psalm 27:14 - Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. (NASB)

We're to trust God, that He has a better plan for things if we wait for God to fulfill whatever it is we are asking for. It does take strength and courage to keep going when you don't see things happening in your favor as you trust God.

Psalm 37:7, 34 - Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him; do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way, by the man who carries out evil plans. (HCSB)

A challenge to wait patiently and be silent. I'm not a very silent person. We're not to compare our lives, ourselves, our circumstances with anyone else. We are all unique and our destinies are all unique.

Psalm 40:1-4 - I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. ² He brought me up out of a horrible pit [of tumult and of destruction], out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock, steadying my footsteps and establishing my path. ³ He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear [with great reverence] And will trust confidently in the Lord. ⁴ Blessed [fortunate, prosperous, and favored by God] is the man who makes the Lord his trust, And does not regard the proud nor those who lapse into lies. (AMP)

God says to wait expectantly for Him, and to be patient. A part of waiting is the development of patience. God hears us, but it doesn't necessarily mean He'll answer in our timing or in the way we want. He has His ways. His ways are stable; they are sure. These verses say that the man who trusts in God (and that means this isn't just in an attitude, but with action, too) will be blessed.

5. What are some practical ways that you can help your children to anchor their self-esteem in Christ and not the culture? Seek out an older godly mom and ask how she did this with her children.

I can continually encourage them, support them, correct & discipline when needed. We can talk about God's Word, read & study it together. We can talk through and work through situations where they need help together, be parents who really watch, observe, listen, and continually pray for them, as we role model to them godly people.

6. From this chapter, share what verse or though was most helpful or encouraging to you in regard to the battle for moral purity with your children. How will you apply this to your life this week?

I loved Psalm 27:14. It takes a lot of strength, relying in God's strength to wait. The world will tell us we can have it now, take all you want, but God says wait. I have something much better for you, better than you can imagine. It takes courage to do the right thing. The world is so good at being a coward that if we are to stand up for what's right, wait, that also takes courage.

I will continue to role model for my kids about having good health, hoping & praying for it as well as daily taking lots of actions to have this, and that God would heal me. I'm going to be writing Scripture, doing EFT, doing my walks, not stressing, leaving things in God's hands.

When You Rise Up - Chapter 5 - Parenting With Purpose

2017-10-24T14:26:00.001-07:00

My Kids in the Grand Tetons (July 2014)

1. Share how you came to know Christ as your Lord and Savior.

I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior when I was 7 yrs old in Daily Vacation Bible School. Though CW was the one that began taking me to church at 3 yrs old faithfully until she died over 10 yrs ago, it was a woman named Grace that I said the prayer with. However, it was the faithfulness and prayers, the love of CW that Christ is my personal Savior and I am forever grateful.

2. Discuss one thing that you are currently trying to teach your children. What are some of the greatest challenges you have experienced in this process?

Consistently doing a great job no matter who, when, where. They take for granted that they are smart, talented kids, but without a good work ethic, intelligence & talent only goes so far without having a good work ethic. They don't seem to get it.

3. What encouragement can you glean from these verses as we experience the challenges of practicing the truth in our own lives and then teaching our children truth?

Galatians 6:7-9 - 7-8 Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life. 9-10 So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith. (MSG)

None of us are perfect. But we need to study and know the Word of God and what God desires of our lives. When sin occurs, we need to be quick to acknowledge and repent, keeping a clean account with the Lord so that the devil does not have a way into our lives to destroy things. Often those seemingly small sins are like weeds. If left unchecked, they grow and get out of control. On a regular basis we need to weed sin out of our lives. When we do this regularly, it doesn't get to be overwhelming like when we let it all pile up and allow bitterness to develop in our lives.

Ephesians 6:12-13 - 12 Our fight is not against people on earth. We are fighting against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness. We are fighting against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly places. 13 That is why you need to get God’s full armor. Then on the day of evil, you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing. (ERV)

All of these things are heart issues and Satan has all sorts of ploys to get us off track. So when we're having issues with things or other people, Satan is behind all that. We must get things right with God and use the power we have in Christ to fight against Satan, who is our greatest adversary. We cannot do it alone or with only partial spiritual armor.

4. Read Deuteronomy 6:4-9. 4 “Listen, people of Israel! The Lord is our God. The Lord is the only God.5 You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 Always remember these commands that I give you today. 7 Be sure to teach them to your children. Talk about these commands when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road. Talk about them when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them on your hands and wear them on your foreheads to help you remember my teachings. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates. How important did the Israelites consider it to teach their children about God? Describe to what extent they did this. Then share ideas about how you can apply these same principles to the teaching of your children today.

It was so important that they wrote it on the doorposts of their houses. Whenever you enter the house or a room, you go through doorposts, so then you are sure to see these teachings, just in case you forget. I can teach these to my kids, God's teachings by daily talking to them about them, praying with them, praying alone for them, role modeling to them God's Word in action. We can also look at different situations and apply God's Word to it and see what God says on how to deal with all sorts of things.

5. Share one verse or thought that most encouraged you from this chapter.

Psalm 127:3 - Children are a gift from God. Sometimes I forget this and gifts are to be received with joy and delight, to be cherished. As both my kids are teenagers, I forget this at times. I have to remember that I was also a teenager once and that if God was able to take me safely through that time and to develop me, God can do similarly with my own children.

When You Rise Up - Chapter 4 - Parenting 101

2017-10-10T16:34:00.001-07:00

Valley of Fire State Park, Nevada (2015)

1. Share your observations about how parents in our culture today try to be a pal rather than the parent. What problems do you see with this approach to parenting?

I think it brings a lot of confusion into our kids' lives. They don't truly understand about healthy boundaries, or negative consequences for wrong choices. We see a lot of entitlement in our society and you don't have to work for or earn anything. Just because you exist is enough and it isn't.

2. How does forgiving your own parents (or others who have hurt you) help you as a parent? Consider the following verses as you answer this questions.

Ephesians 4:26-27 - 26 “When you are angry, don’t let that anger make you sin,”[a] and don’t stay angry all day.27 Don’t give the devil a way to defeat you. (ERV)

When we don't forgive, roots of bitterness grow deep within us. Then we do things that aren't good out of that bitterness, with a seething anger. So many awful things and some people commit awful crimes because of unforgiveness. We won't live this life without being wronged. And forgiving doesn't absolve what was done, but it's releasing the bad ties to that person and letting God deal with that person. If we do not release forgiveness, this gives the devil a way to work and attack our lives.

Colossians 3:12-13 - 12 God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So your new life should be like this: Show mercy to others. Be kind, humble, gentle, and patient.13 Don’t be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If you feel someone has wronged you, forgive them. Forgive others because the Lord forgave you. (ERV)

No matter what, our kids will wrong us many times. They will infuriate us, but we need to continually forgive them and be an example to them about forgiveness and restoration (where possible). It teaches our kids not to be prideful, because forgiveness, as I see it, is a humbling thing. This all points to Jesus and that we do not have control of others.

Hebrews 12:14-15 - 14 Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord. 15 Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many. (HCSB)

God is love and peace, even though He is a God who also judges. But first He is love. The devil has no love. He is selfish, prideful, arrogant and filled with destruction. If we allow God's love to dwell in us, eventually, by the grace of God, others will see this and want this in their lives.

3. Read Ephesians 6:1-4 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (NIV)

What instructions are given to children in this passage?

Children are to obey their parents, to honor them.

Name 2 or 3 observations you make in regard to parents' responsibilities in these same four verses.

As parents we are to teach our kids, to discipline them, correct them, but not in such a harsh manner that it causes them to be discouraged, angry, bitter.

Why do you think Paul included this teaching to the church in Ephesus? What do you think prompted this?

Families are so important and are the backbone of any society. Without strong families, societies are weak. He's encouraging all parts of the family - not just children, but also parents.

4. Share some successes that you have had as a mom in having fun with your children without sacrificing your parenting principles with your children?

We have gone on many trips together that are super fun, as well as hiking and many other outings. We never have to worry about our kids acting up or not obeying because we work on those things at home so when we are out, it's smooth going and an enjoyable time for all.

5. Hopefully you can laugh about some of the things that your children have said and done. Share a funny parenting store that you have experienced. Why is laughter important to being a good parent?

When my daughter was maybe 3-4 yrs old and my son was a baby, we were in church. We had taught our daughter to say AMEN after prayers. The pastor was praying a bit long and had stopped, or a long pause. My daughter thought he was done and shouted, AMEN! I told her he wasn't done. But she refused to stop saying AMEN!! She kept shouting AMEN and I had to take her out of service. That was really funny (well, not at the time) and I could hear some people laughing.

6. What was the most helpful or encouraging to you as a mom in this chapter? Share your insights.

Not forgiving could have awful consequences that manifest in bad ways later in our lives. So we must forgive.

When You Rise Up: Chapter 3 - Who's In Control?

2017-09-26T06:05:00.000-07:00

Boyce Arboretum, Superior, AZ (2013)

1. Share one positive quality that you respect about your husband. This can be anything. But it needs to be positive and honoring.

My husband is consistent with correction and discipline while I am forgetful and inconsistent. Though, with his help and God's, I am becoming more consistent.

2. How does God's view of women, as discussed in this chapter, encourage you as you consider His command for wives to respect and follow your husband's leadership? How should this change the way you understand your role and responsibility to support your husband?

God views women equal to men in terms of value. No more, no less. This means no matter what, we are to obey God and God gives husbands the leadership role. My role is just as important in being my husband's helpmate. No marriage can have two ultimate leaders. Especially when I disagree, I need to relinquish the control to my husband. God will honor this even if my husband is wrong.

3. While we may disagree with our husbands on different issues, what do these verses say to us about the way we are to treat him whether we agree or not? Discuss your answers.

Romans 12:9-10 - Better to be an ordinary person with a servant than to be self-important but have no food. The godly care for their animals, but the wicked are always cruel.

It's better to humble ourselves than to be prideful. We are to humble ourselves to our husbands, especially when we think we're right and disagree. It's better to obey God than do what we want. (NLT)

Galatians 5:25-26 - If we live by the Spirit, let us also [a]walk by the Spirit. Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another. (NASB)

We are to remain humble, obeying God. Allow the Holy Spirit to direct us, not our fleshly desires.

Ephesians 4:31-32 - 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]. 32 Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave [a]you. (AMP)

We are to forgive, not allow ourselves to get bitter, angry. Submit our emotions to the Lord. We're to be kind and helpful. This is extremely challenging but I found when I submit my emotions to the Lord, repent, bind the enemy and kick him out, the Lord reigns in my attitude.

4. How can we encourage our husbands to follow his God-given leadership, but not act as his Holy Spirit or his mother, but as his helper and friend?

We can not nag, have a nice tone of voice, a pleasant, genuine attitude, be kind and caring. We are to be interested and respectful when he has to make the final decisions. We can ask if he wants to hear inputs and not try to control the situation, but allow his word to be final without holding grudges, trusting that God will work everything out in the end.

5. Look up each verse and consider what insights they offer to encouraging your husband in his leadership role.

Proverbs 15:28 - Prayerful answers come from God-loyal people; the wicked are sewers of abuse. (MSG)

Continually pray for my husband, but don't allow myself to say mean, discouraging, hateful, disrespectful things to him.

Proverbs 16:21-24 - Anyone with a wise heart is called discerning, and pleasant speech increases learning.²²Insight is a fountain of life for its possessor, but the discipline of fools is folly. ²³A wise heart instructs its mouth and increases learning with its speech. ²⁴Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste^[c] and health to the body. (HCSB)

Be disciplined with what I say and say things gently, considering my husband and where he is. Don't be harsh, but use a good tone of voice that shows him respect. Use respectful speech. Sometimes say nothing if it needs be. Love my husband in the way he needs to be loved and then possibly God will help change his heart to listen to me.

Romans 12:16-18 - 16 - Live in harmony with one another.Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[a] Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil.Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (NIV)

Don't need to have my way, but really trust God despite whatever decisions my husband makes. Don't be prideful, but be willing to forgive as well as ask for forgiveness. Have a change of heart and truly trust God that no matter what decisions my husband makes, God's will for our lives will be done. Don't be prideful and even if my husband is vengeful towards me, show him love and kindness instead. Live peaceably and learn to communicate in a manner that touches my husband's mind, heart, and soul and that's by treating my husband the way God wants me to treat him - well, respectful.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 - 16 - Always be joyful.17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. (NLT)

Even when situations don't seem joyful, joy does not come from our circumstances, rather on God. Continue always to pray in good and bad times, because the devil wants us to be lazy. And even when things are bad, be thankful for what God is doing because in due time, He will make things right. God is always in control and He has His purpose for allowing or doing things.

6. Share one thought or verse that impacted you most from this lesson.

Proverbs 16:24 - I am sometimes too direct and need to keep a reign on my mouth until the words I use are sweet to the taste, but truthful and loving, kind. This is a huge challenge, but God is making progress in me.

When You Rise Up - Chapter 2 - What Does He Know?

2017-09-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

On Our Wedding Day - Simple Bands, But A Deep Love That Crossed Oceans & Continents

1. Share one or two differences between you and your husband that first attracted you to him before you were married. Has this changed? If so, why do you think it has?

Two things that attracted me to my husband originally were his ability to really take the time to listen and his good manners. Many Latin American men I knew were arrogant and egotistical and I was not attracted to such men. He still is a great listener and takes the time to listen, whereas I am a hurried listener. And, unless he's really upset, he is a gentle person. So in both these, he has changed for the better. And I have learned to become a better listener. Though, I still have a long ways to go. He's helped me to be a better listener by providing helpful feedback and with EMDR therapy, EFT, soaking warfare prayer, I am changing. My personality is fairly aggressive and assertive, but I'm seeing that isn't always the best and seeing that there are times to be gentler, kinder. Now my husband's style of listening and responding to things, especially when things upset him, are much better. He's learned to acknowledge when he's wrong, apologize and to make changes to not do again. But, we've both changed a lot for the better.

2. Name one parenting difference that you have with your husband that may be a difficulty for you. Why do you think it is difficult? (Be sure to be respectful toward your husband if you are sharing this in a group.)

My husband is very consistent in parenting and he doesn't forget usually. I used to be the complete opposite - really nice and wonderful, soft and then really harsh when I was frustrated, like a roller coaster. What I was doing was not good. My husband's consistency has been super helpful and has helped given the kids greater stability, even if they don't always like the correction and discipline. There is greater respect, honor and order in our home, as well as peace and I believe happiness.

Being consistent in parenting is challenging for me because I grew up in a very strict, harsh home and I didn't want my kids to feel like I felt - useless, good for nothing. I know now that my parents didn't mean it like that but that wasn't so when I was a kid and I ended up making a lot of bad choices because of it. I want my kids to be sparred that, but I also don't want them to feel entitled and not work for or earn things that they should be.

3. How does Philippians 2:3-4 - 3 In whatever you do, don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide. Be humble, and honor others more than yourselves. 4 Don’t be interested only in your own life, but care about the lives of others too. (ERV) encourage you to see your husband's unique perspective?

There are usually multiple ways to skin a cat. Our perspective is based off our experiences, knowledge, emotions, values, beliefs. No two people are exactly alike. I've learned that my husband has great insights that shock the pants off me often. I didn't think he thought that deeply about some things and he does. Whereas, sometimes I think in some things he thinks deeply and he doesn't. He has a high emotional intelligence and I've come often to value this great quality in him.

4. Is there any area in your marriage that you need to give your husband more respect? Is there something in which you know he needs your verbal support? how will you show him respect his week?

I think when I'm stressed out, tired, and/or not feeling well, sometimes I take things wrong and can be quite sarcastic in a mean way. This is not good and right now while I'm under the weather, I need to be extra careful that I'm not offensive and more understanding as he is understanding towards me.

He loves his bonsai tree hobby and though at the beginning I fought him on it, the Holy Spirit convicted me that I am to let me husband lead, be loving, kind, supportive, but also offer good wisdom (when asked) and God will take care of things, even if my husband makes mistakes, which he will. Learning to let this go and show him support, be interested in his bonsai stuff through taking photos, helping him with his plants with watering, misting and all the many things I do are things I show support to him. Also, having a great attitude and truly being interested and concerned when he is.

5. Reflect back on the following verses from this chapter and write out how you can apply them to your marriage today.

Proverbs 12:18 - 18 Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal. (GNT)

While I'm ill, I can THINK before speaking. Is this value added? Is this going to help? Sometimes silence is better than saying poor words. I know I'm getting better in this because of all the loving things my husband is giving back to me in affection.

Proverbs 16:21 - A wise person gets known for insight; gracious words add to one’s reputation. (MSG)

I am learning that I do not have to fix or solve all problems. Sometimes my husband just wants to tell me things and he doesn't want anything from me except listening to him. For this, my husband is most appreciative and it makes him feel loved, feeling listened to and respected because he doesn't need me to solve everything for him. I'm his wife, his life partner, not his mom.

James 1:19-20 - 19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. (NLT)

Sometimes just by listening and not reacting emotionally, it's a great thing. Actually, usually. Sometimes we get angry as we don't fully understand the situation and even if we do, doing things in a calm, rational manner is usually far better than being over reactive. God can do great things when we control anger. Another way to help control anger is to continually forgive those who offend us so that no bitterness takes root in our hearts, thus we are not angry people.

Ephesians 5:33b - and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].

My husband has really taken notice of how much more loving I am towards him by not over reacting and being all emotional about everything and about wanting control over everything. This has caused him to be a much nicer, gentler, caring husband as well as more affectionate in the way I want. It's taking awhile, but if we honor God in His Word, even if it looks impossible, He will make a way. I treasure my husband by respecting him through my words and actions.

When You Rise Up: Chapter 1 - The Best Job Ever

2017-09-11T05:48:00.000-07:00

Zion National Park, Utah (2015)

The weeks to come, I am going to be doing with my Titus group When You Rise Up written by Lee Sumner. It's a book of wisdom for moms who want to parent with purpose.

1. Share your own experience of having your first child. What surprised you most?

I was really surprised that I didn't gain very much weight - 13 lbs total. And I was surprised Labor and Delivery was so quick and easy. I had exercised throughout my pregnancy. My daughter came 2-3 weeks early. And I didn't really feel the labor pains. She just really popped out. It was fairly easy. Despite my getting pregnant with her out of wedlock, I was so surprised at God's Grace & Mercy for me in giving me a great and easy pregnancy. And, after I gave birth, I had no weight to lose rather I weighed less than before I got pregnant.

2. In your experience, what has been the most difficult part of being a mom? What has been the greatest joy? Who has been a source of encouragement to you?

The most difficult part of being a mom is to correct & discipline my kids consistently. The greatest joy has been leading both of them to Christ at early ages. My greatest source of encouragement in this motherhood has been this women's group - Titus.

3. Read Luke 1:26-38 and Luke 2:8-20.

Describe how you think Mary felt concerning her "greatest job" ever?

I think she felt very scared, nervous, confused.

What do you learn about Mary from Luke 1:38?

She must have had great faith and trust in God. She truly believed.

What insight can you glean about her from Luke 2:19.

She had a really close relationship with God.

How does Mary's example as a mother encourage you as mother today? What hope does her life story bring?

I'm really not sure. I feel so different than Mary. I'm not sure what hope it brings for me.

4. What encouragement do you receive from the following verses as they apply to being a mother? Share your insights.

Jeremiah 29:11 - God has a plan for each of our lives. Even though we have trials and go through tough stuff, He is using those things for the better and for good.
Philippians 4:4-8 - I love these verses. It tells us to think on good thoughts. To be thankful in everything. To bring our concerns and requests to God. God will give us peace.

5. Share one thought or Bible verse from this chapter that most encouraged you.

I really love Philippians 4:4-8. Those verses always encourage me. That God has everything under control.

To Christian Leaders

2017-07-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

My husband and I this morning were talking about the church - the difference between the church I used to go to and the church I now go to. We also talked about drawing people to Christ and how our lives as Christians are in the U.S. as opposed to another country.

Since I have never lived abroad, but my husband comes from Colombia, I don't have his perspective, but now I am seeing more his perspective after having left my previous church. While there, people were nice to me, at least to my face. Now, I realize that the church is made up of flawed people and no church is without flawed people.

I have seen more growth in my Christian walk after having left my last church and I didn't realize why. And it was because I was no longer being confined to an underlying legalism that I didn't realize existed. Now I can see more of what it was.

Not on social media much except in one place and I do see the how now I am shunned by most of the people that I went to church with - both still now attending that church and by many of those whom no longer go there anymore. It's sort of weird. I didn't leave that church because I was angry, rather it didn't seem like we were fitting there anymore. Frankly, I'm not sure if we fit there for quite some time.

Yes, I learned a lot and perhaps I could have connected more. In my own brokenness, my own flaws, maybe I should have connected better. Maybe it through my writing, my posts I connected with people. I found it odd that some people were super friendly with me, but that was only because they wanted something from me - they needed my help, they needed me to fill in for them, or to bring something or anything like that.

Yes, there were a number of years I was needy and I was helped by the church. For that, I am grateful. I wasn't asking for it, but some people out of their own hearts, came to assist me. I'm not saying all things or even most things are bad of that former church, but I am left confused. When I make a comment on someone's stuff and they are wanting to connect with people, I guess ignoring them, eventually they go away.

What was my crime? I was just trying to provide for the needs of my family and they weren't being met where we were, so with careful prayer for over 2 yrs, we made the decision to leave. It was scary to leave my comfort zone, and after searching every Sunday for several months and talking to a number of churches, we found a church we liked that we all agreed we wanted to be there.

Is being a Christian ousting those not in your clique? I have been offended at some people deleting me, while yet retaining others whom we know, or ignoring my friend requests, or blocking me. What did I do wrong? I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a Christian, a follower of Christ. But, I wonder to some of these teachers of the Bible, are they really just a Pharisee, claiming they love Christ, but don't really love others?

Ghandi would have become a Christian, I would surmise, except that he saw the lack of love and the actions of those people who called themselves Christ followers. Jesus spoke Truth to people. He loved ALL people. He may have not accepted or liked their actions, but He loved ALL peoples.

My husband had told me maybe there wasn't really anyone at my last church that really liked me. That hurt to hear, but I think he's probably correct. Maybe all those meals I made, or helping people move, or praying for others never really mattered except to be used for at that time. Maybe Life Group there was just to form those social cliques and if you're outside of them, you're not accepted.

I saw some other people also at the church ousted by people from the church. I didn't oust them. I would still talk to them. If I didn't talk to them, and there was only one person, it wasn't because of the church, rather it was because she couldn't respect my boundaries which I had told her directly. I think my past church.

Maybe I should have talked to the pastor about us leaving, but quite a few other people had tried to do that before me and it didn't go well with them. I never felt super connected to the pastor and felt mostly that he was beyond me. And, at the time of where I was, I didn't want to feel further rejection so I just disappeared into the night.

Not saying everyone there is like that. I can name one person who is not like that at all, maybe two. But, if a church is to grow and to flourish, maybe when people leave, shutting the door to them may not be a good thing either.

Honestly, I've never faced this before, well maybe some when I divorced my first husband and left that church. That's understandable as his family had been there for more than 2 decades and me divorcing their son . . .

Maybe it's just the church I left. I didn't feel I left on bad terms. Well, it's just the way it is. I just need to know that I don't want to be like many of those whom are doing this - look good on the outside, play Christian well, but only use people for when you need them for whatever your purpose is and then when they are of no use, then discard them. Keep preaching the Gospel, but don't have to live it.

The Screwtape Letters (by C.S. Lewis) - LETTER 1 - Reason & Reality

2017-06-01T05:37:00.001-07:00

"The trouble about argument is that it moves the whole struggle onto the Enemy's own ground." - Screwtape

1. Use your imagination and describe Screwtape and Wormwood. Take into account their appearance, personalities, and demeanor. Who would you rather have a conversation with and why?

I see both Screwtape and Wormwood as being very prideful. The appearance in my mind is that Uncle Screwtape is a large, grossly fat man - aging, old clothes, fat stubby fingers. His face is craggly and old, deep crevices, mangled skin and a bit disfigured. His clothes are mainly neat, but ill fitting. I imagine his voice to be firm, forceful, thundering, strong, sarcastic and commanding, condescending. As for Wormwood, physically I see him as taller, slender, but his figure has had less disfiguration. His hands have long slender fingers, but with darkened nails and tips with long fingernails. He always has a smug look on his face, like he knows everything, but at least he tries to listen to his uncle and sort of thinks his uncle is a bit of a nag and pompous. He has contempt for his uncle.

Personally, I would like to have a conversation with Uncle Screwtape. He has a great deal of experience and knowledge and I would like to glean this knowledge from him and get help from Uncle Screwtape's Enemy (God) to combat his own schemes.

Both my kids saw Uncle Screwtape as slender. But we all agreed that they were both prideful.

2. SCREWTAPE'S GAME PLAN - Which action of Screwtape below do you think would be most effective in keeping teens from knowing Christ today? Why?

a. Convincing teens that "real life" is just like their favorite reality show.
b. Convincing teens that they are immortal and will never die.
c. Replacing "right" or "wrong" with "what's trending".
d. Acting without considering any consequences.
e. Distracting teens with media and other forms of technology.

I would choose E, to distract teens with media and other forms of technology. If you keep them distracted, they don't have time to think about anything. Their time is consumed with frivolous things that take up time, waste time, and have no eternal value, yet they'll think it's important.

My son chose B and my daughter chose C. We had a nice discussion on this and this is where we saw things differently.

3. True or false. Satan wants you focused only on spiritual matters not non-essential matters.

False. Satan wants you to focus on the non-essential matters making you think they are really important. He doesn't want you to think at all about spiritual matters, so if he can distract you to not think of things, the better.

We all agreed on this.

4. Have you ever known someone who refused to come to church because of their disappointment with another Christian or the church? How does that change the way you talk to them about church?

Yes. Actually much of my family is like this because Christians they have seen have a worse testimony than the lives they personally live, why would they need to go to church? I don't really talk much about church to them, but really just try to live my life correctly, in a way that pleases God, but not necessarily like people expect or think Christians should be like. Our actions and how we live life will speak much louder than the words we say. At some point, however, you do need to say some things, but your life should already show the words in action.

The kids shared about different people they knew specifically that this is applicable to.

5. BIBLE STUDY QUESTION - Read Luke 10:39-42. 39 She had a sister named Mary, who seated herself at the Lord’s feet and was continually listening to His teaching. 40 But Martha was very busy and distracted with all of her serving responsibilities; and she approached Him and said, “Lord, is it of no concern to You that my sister has left me to do the serving alone? Tell her to help me and do her part.”41 But the Lord replied to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered and anxious about so many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part [that which is to her advantage], which will not be taken away from her.” What ordinary, everyday distractions was Martha concerned with? Who did it make her resent? What did she miss out on?

Martha was concerned with preparing dinner, cleaning house, getting things ready for dinner. How that looks like for each of us may be different, but it's really those things that have no eternal value that we put all our focus on so there is no time to think about or do what is important, that has eternal value. Martha resented Mary for not pitching in to help her because she thought getting things done was more important than to pay attention to what Jesus was wanting. Martha missed out on a lot in terms of really getting that doing all the dinner & other stuff was trivial in the grand scheme of things. Not saying those things didn't need to be done, but maybe it could have been done to a less perfectionistic standard so there could be time listening to what Jesus wanted to share.

How this looks like in real life, in my life, is I can be like Martha a lot, taking care of things and then being resentful of my family for not cooperating. But, when all is said and done, though it's still important for my family these things get done, maybe I can minimize the "stuff" that needs to be done and really love and listen to them, take time to spend with them instead of always being so busy.

We all were in agreement here.

The Screwtape Letters (by C.S. Lewis) - Introduction

2017-05-30T19:35:00.002-07:00

This summer I decided more than a month ago that my 2 teenage kids and I would do the study guide for teens on The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. If you haven't read this or listened to the audio, it's really well worth reading or listening to. The premise of this book is based on how the devil trips up Christians and I really think it's so well-written. C.S. Lewis is a prolific and profound writer. He was once an atheist. This book is a satirical, fictional novel that addresses Biblical Christian theological issues such as temptation, sin, resistance.

Having a 16-yr old, soon to be 17-yr old and one final year of high school left, I am faced with wondering if I've prepared my daughter enough for the "real world". Things look much differently now than when I graduated from high school more than 30 yrs ago and embarked on my own. Many things that were wrong were called wrong then, but now many things that are wrong are right and finding that those things that are right (meaning good as defined by the Bible) are shunned and there has been persecution of Bible Christians now more so in the United States than ever.

Granted, persecution for Christians in the U.S. is still nothing like that of many parts of the world where it's really bad even to the point of death or a tortured death. It's important for my kids to be able to see the ploys of the devil and to know how to make good decisions that please & honor God, as well as better understand what they believe.

I'll be sharing this journey we are embarking on this summer through the 31 LETTERS of this book. Each of my kids and I will read each letter separately, as well as answer the questions in the study guide for that letter. Then, we will come together to discuss the letter and the study guide for that letter. I will share my portion of the study guide. Truly I am excited to be doing this with my two teenagers.

Hopefully this study will be very beneficial for them and life changing as they go on to make decisions and choices in their lives as young people. It is a challenging world we live in and I want to equip them with not only practical tools to live in the every day world, but more importantly, spiritual tools to help them stand strong in this evil day. To help them have a solid walk with the Lord. In some past summers, we've read the Bible together on multiple occasions in different translations, as well as chronologically. We've had many great discussions. Now it's time to dig a little deeper in this area of sin & temptation and how to combat this.

The Intentional Woman: The Widow of Zarephath: When There's Nothing Left - Chapter 18

2017-05-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

A Beach in Malibu, CA

1. Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from this chapter. What was notable to you from the reading?

I felt at some points in my life like the Widow Z - there was nothing left for me to give. But, unlike the Widow Z, I knew the Lord as my Savior. But still then, it was a challenge to trust God's provision because I had never before trusted Him in this manner. When I lost everything financially and every other avenue was exhausted, there was no one to turn to but to God. For nearly 6 years, I lived and depended on God's continual supply of miracles and He did just that.

Actually, God more than abundantly supplied when there was nothing. He made something out of practically nothing, which that is what He did through Elijah for the Widow Z. I have come to learn to trust God, even though now I still have great challenges, I recall God's provision to sustain me and to honor my faith in Him.

God is good and faithful all the time. How He is may not be our definition or how we'd like to see God turn things around for us, but His ways are ALWAYS best, as I've come to learn. His timing is always perfect.

2. Has there ever been a time in your life or a situation where you felt you had nothing left? Maybe it was physical, emotional, or even spiritual? Describe your story here.

Yes, in 2007 when I learned my husband was cheating on me and through to 2014 when during that period of time I had lost my marriage, my home, all the financial stuff I'd worked so hard for for years, I had to really rely on God to meet my needs. He did. In the end, last year, I got full and sole custody of my kids, got remarried in 2013 to a really great guy, moved into our home in 2015. God has really blessed, but it took years as God had to work in and through my life to show me how personal and how much He cared for my children, husband and I.

The rest of the story is in the question before this.

3. How do these verses encourage you about God's sufficiency for everything in our lives, including difficulties and suffering?

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - 9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast [a]about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with [b]insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (NIV)

When we give up fighting with God and give Him the control, that's when we are the strongest. So often we think like we can do everything on our own, but the truth is, we can't do anything with God. It doesn't mean we're helpless, but it means that we're to acknowledge that it is God that gives us our breath, our life, and to be humble before Him, knowing that HE is the one who empowers us.

Ephesians 3:20-21 - 20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, 21 to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations [a]forever and ever. Amen. (NASB)

I have a number of verses in the Bible that are my favorite and these are a couple of my favorite. As a child, I remember saying to God that HE could do more than my imagination? Wow, that's pretty big. And thus, I went about seeing if this was true or not. But, when I went through my downfall, it was challenging to see that the God I loved and served while as a child and young adult would be this same God who would carry me through my challenges. BUT, He IS that same God and so much more. I had to learn to be humble and truly acknowledge success from God and that God gives success to many people whether they love Him or not.

Philippians 4:19 - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (KJV)

This is so true. I saw God when we had nothing or almost nothing supply all our needs. There are many examples through my difficult financial years that I can recall God coming through. One Sunday I had gone to church and I was in need of gas for my car. I told no one, but after church JL came up to me and asked me if he could provide some gas for me. I nearly cried because the only person that knew of that need was God. He laid on JL's heart to provide this need at that moment. I pray that God richly bless JL for all his life for being obedient to God and providing for this in my life. He is a humble servant of God.

4. How do you think Widow Z's faith impacted her son? What does this say to the importance of living by faith as an example to our children?

I think it greatly impacted Widow Z's son - her faith. He saw her example and I think that allowed him to trust God. Thus, when we are not trusting God, our children see this, but they also see when we trust God. Faith is not seeing, but acting upon as if it were.

5. Before God did the first miracle in Widow Z's life, Elijah sensed that she was afraid to trust God. He tells her not to be afraid of the outcome of obedience, but just obey God's Word. Often in Scripture God encourages us regarding fear and obedience. Write out these verses and comment on what they teach us regarding fear and trust?

Psalm 27:1 - The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom should I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom should I be afraid? (HCSB)

God is above all and though the devil may have a great influence in this world and there is real evil and terror, God is greater than the devil and though our bodies can be destroyed, if we are God's, then no one can take us from God spiritually.

Psalm 139:7-12 - ⁷I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! ⁸If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave,^[a] you are there. ⁹If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, ¹⁰even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. ¹¹I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night—¹² but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. (NLT)

God sees and knows all. Sometimes we think we can do something in secret, but we can't because God sees.

Isaiah 43:1-3a - Now this is what theLord says—the One who created you, Jacob, and the One who formed you, Israel—“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. ²I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you. ³For I Yahweh your God, the Holy One of Israel, and your Savior, give Egypt as a ransom for you, Cush and Seba in your place. (HCSB)

God doesn't delight when we go through troubles, but He says He will be with us no matter what. When we are one of His children, it doesn't mean we won't go through hardships, but it does mean He will be with us through those challenges. Those challenges are to help mold us to be more like God, pleasing to Him. But also, they are to reveal God's glory. God knows us each personally and intimately, but do we?

Matthew 10:29-31 - ^29-31“What’s the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head! So don’t be intimidated by all this bully talk. You’re worth more than a million canaries. (MSG)

If God cares for the little creatures in life whom were not formed in His image, how much more does He love us? So if He cares for them so much, their needs, our confidence that He cares for us should be solid.

6. Has there been a time in your life that you were afraid, but trusted God, living by faith not by sight? Or is there something in your life right now that God is asking you to trust and obey Him in first, though you can't see the outcome, though you might have fear in doing so? Explain.

Yes, when I lost my home and all my finances. Yes, there are a number of things I have in my life right now that I'm trusting God on - my husband's walk with God, my children's walk with God, His financial destiny for me, God's spiritual work He has for me, the kids' education and lives.

What I do now is daily I am on my knees praying to the Lord. When I sin, or God reveals to me I am sinning, then I am quick to repent and get healing for those soul wounds that those sins caused. Basically on a short leash with God, however, what I want to make sure is that I have nothing in common with the enemy and his cohorts so that my prayers are powerful and effective. I want my walk with the Lord to be powerful, all the strongholds in my life to be broken and to walk close to God, hearing and obeying Him.

Yes, there is still some fear, but in 2 Corinthians 10:5 it says that we're to take captive all our thoughts and put them in submission to Christ. The fear I have I know is not from God. So, I am delving more into God's Word, memorizing Scripture more as this is a spiritual battle and it's very real.

7. In times past God did raise people from the dead to demonstrate death no longer has power over us if we receive Christ as our Lord and Savior. Because of the fall in the Garden of Eden, death was the penalty for sin. But because of Christ, no longer will those born again have to pay the sin penalty of death and live in eternity without Him.

While He does not seem to raise the physically dead in our day, He certainly could. But the principle of resurrection is clear: God is able. He is able to resurrect marriages that seem dead and buried. He is able to resurrect prodigal children who seem lost and dead to their families because of rebellion. He is able to resurrect a soul that seems hardened and hard to reach. He is able to give us life just to do the ordinary duties of a wife and mother that may seem overwhelming to us too. Yes, God is able!

How do these verses encourage you in God's ability to meet the needs in your life and help you live intentionally for Him?

Isaiah 50:2b - “Why, when I came, was there no man [to greet Me]? When I called, why was there no one to answer? Is My hand really so short that it cannot redeem [My servants]? Or have I no power to rescue? Listen carefully, with My rebuke I dry up the sea, I make the rivers into a desert; Their fish stink because there is no water And die of thirst. (AMP)

God can do anything, I mean anything. Sometimes I doubt God can, but that's in my own sinfulness and frailty that I succumb to wrong thinking. Who am I to question an omniscient God? He can make time stand still. He can move Heaven and Earth to get something done. He created the galaxy and all there is. There is no reason to doubt that God can provide and meet my needs.

Jeremiah 32:7, 27 - ⁷Watch! Hanamel, the son of your uncle Shallum, is coming to you to say, ‘Buy my field in Anathoth for yourself, for you own the right of redemption to buy it.’ ²⁷“Look, I am Yahweh, the God of all flesh. Is anything too difficult for Me?

Nothing is too hard for God. God uses challenging times to sometimes test us, sometimes just to show His glory, to draw others to Him or even ourselves, or even just because He can.

Psalm 139:7-18 (a must read!) - ⁷I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! ⁸If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave,^[a] you are there. ⁹If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, ¹⁰even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. ¹¹I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night—¹² but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. ¹³You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. ¹⁵You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. ¹⁶You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. ¹⁷How precious are your thoughts about me,^[b]O God. They cannot be numbered! ¹⁸I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!

Absolutely nothing is hidden from God. When I feel small and alone, that's a lie from the pit of hell. I am not alone. Even when everything seems like a lost cause, God has a Divine plan. I do not need to be in control. He knows everything I am going through. He knows how I feel and all of that, He cares for every bit of it. That is comforting to know.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter. What personal lessons concerning the Widow Z will you apply to your own life? How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

I've already and still am applying the things that Widow Z does. Though financially I am not in hardship now and I have a good life, I would like to see my husband walk closely with God, to have a heart after God's own heart and to lead our family spiritually. I would like to see my kids have a really deep relationship with God instead of doing things in their own strength. But, the key is for me to role model doing these things, which I am working on.

God is helping me get rid of destructive independence and to develop complete reliance on Him. Sometimes I just get caught up in my own stuff that I am no longer intentionally being the woman of God He desires of me. But, God's kindness always brings me to repentance and I get back on track again and again. I am grateful for God's never ending mercy.

FINAL JOURNALING THOUGHTS

What will you take away from this study? Which Titus 2 attribute spoke most to your heart and why? What changes will you make to be God's most intentional woman? Which woman of God lesson impacted you the most? How will you be more intentional as a result of things you learned from her life and situation?

The thing I probably take most from this study is to be really intentional in my walk with God instead of the sometimes haphazard ways I've approached in the past. I think the Titus 2 attribute that spoke most to me was that submission isn't just the physical thing of submitting, doing, but it's really a heart thing, an attitude. If you have a wrong attitude, even though physically you may be submitting, then you are truly NOT submitting. That was really eye-opening.

I've already made many changes and continue to make changes in my walk with God as an Intentional Christ Follower. I've talked about them in the prior 17 chapters. God has a purpose for each of our lives. Each person that is talked about in the Bible has a purpose, whether the person was a good person that loved God or an evil person against God. I can learn from each of these people.

The two people I loved most reading about were Esther and Mary, mother of Jesus. Those 2 chapters moved me the most. Esther with her submission to her King and husband, though he was not a Christ Follow and Mary, in trusting God with the whole plan for Jesus. How challenging it must have been for each women to hold onto faith in God's plan, even though they could not see or understand. The willingly submissive spirit that gave them strength in the face of great trials and tribulation. They were intentional and received God's blessing for obeying and honoring Him.

I want God to say to me one day, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Listening without needing to put my own thoughts into others. Be slow to speak, swift to listen. I love in Proverbs it says that a wife ought to do no harm to her husband, but bring him good all the days of her life. Sometimes when I have gotten angry at my husband, that's not the case, but the Holy Spirit convicted me of this. So, when I am upset with him, I'm to think only good thoughts, to bring my husband good, to bless him during this time of upsetness.

I am to continue to guard my thoughts and to think on things that are true, lovely, right and take any stray thoughts captive, submit them to Jesus. Test my thoughts to see if they are in line with the Word of God and if they're not, then be quick to repent and get healing for my soul.

This has been a wonderful book and study that we went through the past 9+ months and I have enjoyed it, learned a lot, was challenged by it. My marriage has gotten even deeper and better than before this study began. It's amazing. I have also been greatly challenged in my own personal walk with the Lord.

I went through a huge decluttering thing physically of my home. Before that, I was decluttering relationships, people and things that no longer served me. I am working now on decluttering my virtual environment. God is helping me to be intentionally a godlier woman, wife, mother, friend, person and through obeying, I am hearing His voice so much better. It's not easy, but I feel a greater closeness to my Lord than before this study.

The Intentional Woman: Intentional Faith - Chapter 17

2017-05-01T13:21:00.000-07:00

Monarch Butterfly at Boyce Arboretum

1. Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter. What was notable to you from the reading?
There was so much in this chapter as she talked about Blasphemy, Holiness, Faith, Trust, Submission, Putting our Hope in Jesus, Girding our Minds, Not to Conform to This World, Be Sober in Spirit. I think the 2 things that really stuck out to me were Holiness and Girding our Minds. I'm finding when I can take control of my thoughts and make them obey Christ, things go WAY better than if I just let them run a muck.

This past weekend, I really intentionally focused on this despite physically not feeling well and the Lord just blew me away with how my husband responded. A soft answer DOES turn away potential wrath, thwarts arguments. Also, having good body posture that is inviting and friendly is a part of how one responds, as well as quietly with a gentle spirit doing things. It was a super busy weekend and there was so much to do.

In my spirit I was quiet and gentle (1 Peter 3:4). I did not entertain any voices of complaining, whining, or pity party (2 Corinthians 10:5). I focused on the tasks at hand with a cheerful attitude and though I was feeling physically in some pain and like I was starting to come down with something, a merry heart does a body good (Proverbs 17:22).

Having a Christlike attitude without telling my husband, but showing it quietly through the whole weekend really made him take notice. He made several comments about this in a god way and that made him feel really respected and loved. Thank you, God!

2. Describe how your faith in God is demonstrated in your marriage relationship? In your mothering? Are there any areas where you have been convicted to be obedient?

As I spend daily time in God's Word, time in prayer, especially on my knees, God is doing some really awesome things. He's transforming how I see others and seeing them more through His eyes. Wanting change in others begins with changes in my own life. My kids and husband are way more responsive when I'm being intentionally calm in how I communicate rather than yelling.

God has convicted since last week that my spirit was not gentle and quiet, so I've been allowing God to work on me in that and I'm seeing some pretty good, positive results. It's given me power to endure through some long days filled with lots of stuff to do with a godly attitude.

Also, I've been doing a lot of SOAKING in prayer and this has been quite amazing and transforming.

3. How is disobedience to God's commandments unloving, dishonoring and even blasphemous to the Lord?

It means that we are evilly doing things and that's not good.

4. In what areas of your life are you like the father with the demon-possessed son, who said to Jesus, "I believe! Help my unbelief!"

Since I can be a fairly high strung person, to have a quiet, gentle spirit seems so far-fetched. I definitely cannot do it in my own human power and need the Dunamis, Resurrection power of the Holy Spirit.

5. From 1 Peter 1:13-16 (13 Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. 14 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”) write out your own application of these faith action steps. How will you be obedient strengthening the faith of your calling as a wife, mother and woman of God?

I will gird my mind for action by . . . only entertaining thoughts that please God.
I will keep sober in my spirit by . . . by not entertaining entitlement mindsets & thoughts.
I will fix my hope in God by . . . memorizing Scripture to remind me of God's promises.
I will not conform to the world by . . . taking a lazy way to do things, rather I will take God's way.
I will be holy in my behavior by . . . really listening to others, praying about my responses, and doing things in kindness & love.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter. What personal lessons concerning Intentional Faith will you apply in your own life? How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

I'm going to continue when I sleep to do SOAKING stuff as I'm finding this really healing. But, I am going to Intentionally LISTEN to others without having to interject my own opinions and thoughts. And, I'm going to continue to destroy every conversation in my head that with the Power & Authority of Jesus Christ that is ungodly, that tells me I am entitled, and humbly lay down my rights so that I can see true transformation take place in my life and then others, too.

ENTITLEMENT Does NOT Produce a Gentle & Quiet Spirit

2017-04-26T09:11:00.001-07:00

Abandoned Car at the Petrified Forest

For the past two years, I have been going nearly weekly to EMDR therapy, which is professional counseling. Nearly 2 years ago I had a panic attack that I thought was a heart attack. Thankfully it was not a heart attack. It was confirmed that my physical heart is in great condition, but the internal, subconscious workings of my mind were very stressed out and in need of great care.

We started out addressing the anxiety I felt with having a job that was stressful for little pay. My husband a couple months before got hired on full-time as a software engineer working for a Native American government. They loved him as a contractor and ended up not only paying him what they paid him as a contractor, but gave him 33% above that salary along with full benefits. That more than made up for the need for my salary and my husband encouraged me to quit my job, which I did within a few weeks of my panic attack.

Since I'd never had a panic attack before, it really felt like a heart attack and it was an awful feeling. Through these past years, I've addressed with my therapist who is also a strong Christian, many issues I've had that were very deep rooted. EMDR is a therapy that addresses balancing the left and right hemispheres of the brain that have been traumatized making one hemisphere of the brain continually more over reactive than it ought to be by emotionally reliving traumas, or what you as the individual perceives as traumas.

A trauma could be anything from a little 4 yr old dropping an ice cream cone, her perception of devastation to victims of crimes like rape or war or experiencing murder, etc. There is the whole gambit. Because I've done EMDR at two other times in my life, and have been doing EFT for 16 yrs, I have become more attuned to stuff that many people do not notice. However, there are still things I do not notice unless pointed out to me. It's all a learning process.

I am grateful to my husband for allowing me to go to these weekly private EMDR therapy sessions, as they are costly. But, we are seeing good results and more results as time goes by with changes in how I view and do things. I don't believe talk therapy alone is effective. And there are many therapies that prescribe medication for which I am not a proponent of usually. It just masks the roots of the issues and doesn't allow you to get in touch with these things and thus, you continue to live in this state of trauma unless you're medicated.

We've also recently been using acupuncture to address some emotional issues. Prayer, of course, is the biggest component to all this and for the Holy Spirit to reveal the areas that need to be addressed. If God wanted to heal me instantly, He can. BUT, He hasn't. It's been good that God hasn't instantly healed me because it's forcing me to work through the process of healing and seeing gradual changes as I take actions each week.

For quite a few months now, I've been plagued with a re-addiction to Dr. Pepper. I've prayed about it so many times, done EFT, and we've addressed quite a few things in EMDR, and we've also one time used some acupuncture. BUT, to no avail. However, yesterday's session with my EMDR therapist sparked something that hasn't been sparked in our sessions. I told her while her doing EMDR on me, I heard the Holy Spirit tell me the root of my anger, frustrations, etc had been coming from the fact that my spirit was not gentle nor quiet, and that God wanted to cultivate a gentle & quiet spirit within me.

What the heck, I was thinking? In 1 Peter 3:3-5 it says,

3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; (NIV)

As part of the Titus 2 Bible study for the past 9 months, I've learned a lot and gained a lot in my walk with God as a woman, wife, and mother. Why wasn't my spirit gentle and quiet? It came down to ENTITLEMENT - one's right. We live in an entitlement culture and society. And whether you are truly entitled or not, people have continually asserted that you are entitled.

When you are entitled, you have a different mindset than humbly laying down what you are entitled to. It is a prideful, selfish attitude. Look around at all the protests, at all the people who assert themselves. They say they are doing it for the greater good, but it's not true. It's very selfish, prideful, aggressive, bullying, destruction, disrespectful, haughty, self-serving. You must call a spade a spade. There is no agree to disagree. It's only one way or all hell breaks loose.

Yes, you got your degree or you have the work experience, but that doesn't mean any company is entitled to give you a job. You may be a woman, but that doesn't entitle you to become the President of the United States. You may have given birth to 8 children, but that doesn't entitle you to getting help from anyone. You may have worked really hard on your project, but that doesn't entitle you to a good grade or that your project will work. Life IS and can be quite unfair.

My husband commented yesterday that he's been noticing that around the 5-8 pm every day lately, I've been a grouch and ready to start a fight, or just meanly sarcastic. I've been working to quit drinking Dr. Pepper and maybe without it, that was my 'go to' or crutch, like some women have a glass of wine or two or three each day or men grabbing a few beers to sit in front of the boob tube.

The Lord has been convicting me that though I may not say anything verbally, my curt attitude, sharp, cutting remarks as well as body language, they all show that my inward attitude is not real good. Why? Sometimes I feel like I'm not appreciated or taken for granted, and that I am ENTITLED to be appreciated. As I've cultivated this attitude with the secret conversations in my head, this has also been tending to the Garden of Entitlement in my mind and creating a spirit that is argumentative, easily offended, bitter, and resentful. Definitely no signs of a gentle and quiet spirit.

It says in 1 Peter 3:3-5 that God greatly values and finds precious a GENTLE & QUIET SPIRIT. How do you cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit?

1. Think on Right Things.

Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." (NIV)

2. Discipline Your Thoughts.

2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "5 and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ." (HCSB)

3. Meditate & Memorize Bible Verses.

Psalm 119:11 says, "Your Word I have treasured and stored in my heart, That I may not sin against You." (AMP)

4. Repent For Sins That Come to Mind and Get Healing For The Sin Trauma

2 Corinthians 7:9-10 says, "⁹But now I am happy—not because I made you sad, but because your sadness made you change your ways. That sadness was used by God, and so we caused you no harm. ¹⁰For the sadness that is used by God brings a change of heart that leads to salvation—and there is no regret in that! But sadness that is merely human causes death." (GNT)

James 5:16 says, "16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God—it is dynamic and can have tremendous power]." (AMP)

1 Peter 2:24 says, "24 Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross. He did this so that we would stop living for sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you were healed." (ERV)

5. Take Authority in Jesus' Name Over Thoughts Over the Demonic

Luke 10:19 says, "19 Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you." (NLT)

Just like anything you want to be successful at, you must discipline yourself to do the things that it takes to be successful. You must find your Why and Purpose for this success. It must own you. And you must get rid of things that impede your success. True and lasting success is not easy, but well worth it.

If outwardly we show a smile and keep our tongue from spewing out bad things, eventually the things of our heart that are hidden will come out. Jeremiah 17:9-10 says, "The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.” (MSG)

And I love what Ezekiel 36:26 says, "²⁶And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart." (NLT)

If we allow God to change our heart by changing the things we continually think about, which changes our actions, then our attitudes will also change as we begin to do things God's way, then we will see through God's eyes other people. How amazing and transformed our lives will be for the better.

Let your outside be consistent with your inside.

The Intentional Woman: Esther: Trusting in a Sovereign God - Chapter 16

2017-04-24T19:11:00.001-07:00

The Grand Tetons (Summer 2014)

1. Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading the text and the lesson this week. What was notable to you from the reading?

The text reading was really short. Thankfully last week we had a lesson on this from M. What was notable to me was that Esther was a very godly woman and her husband wasn't. However, Esther still submitted to her husband and his authority over her where it didn't conflict with God. I have a lot to learn about submission from Esther. It's often not easy to submit, at least for me. God totally blessed and protected Esther as well as her people due to her obedience.

2. What can you learn about Esther's appeal to her husband? What did she do?

Esther appealed to her husband through her submission and her ability to respect her husband. She listened to wise advice and was patient, methodical. She trusted really in God and was willing to take the negative consequences, if there be that. She was respectful the whole time.

3. Do you have like-minded Titus 2 women to help you pray and think wisely about your marriage and mothering? If not, will you pray for God to bring a prayer partner to your life?

Yes, I do.

4. How did Esther adapt to and support her husband's leadership and customs without compromising God's Word? In what ways has God called you to adapt and support your husband's leadership? List the ways here:

Esther obeyed the King, but she was willing to accept even death for approaching the King. God calls me to be an encourager to my husband, as well as to let him have the last word on things. It's not easy, though. And, God calls me to support my husband and his many hobbies, whether I agree or not. I often think my husband gets obsessed with things, but learning that as I submit to my husband with a GOOD ATTITUDE, that will win him more to more reasonableness than me having a bad attitude.

Every husband wants to be encouraged, respected, know they are valuable and can make their wife happy. Every husband wants his wife to believe in him, to trust in him. It's not easy, but when I keep my focus on God, I can trust my husband and be the wife he needs me to be, and the kind of wife God wants me to be for my husband, to be patient, be kind, and all those other things 1 Corinthians 13 talks about.

5. Submitting to authority is really a heart issue. Children resist parental authority. As we grow, our sinful nature tends to resist whatever authority God brings into our lives to teach us to live under His authority. Sometimes it is a fear issue, sometimes pride, sometimes wanting to be in control and sometimes just rebellion. Can you identify any of these areas in your heart when you struggle with submission to your husband's God-given authority?

I am often challenged to submit via my attitude when my husband goes overboard in his "interests". I'm much more practical, but I know my husband finds enjoyment in his various hobbies and interests and wants me to be supportive here. My attitude often gets in the way and I really need to be continually before God repenting and asking Him to help me be patient with my husband, to love him in the way he needs to be loved.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter. What personal lessons concerning Esther will you apply in your own life? How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

Submission is done with a willing attitude, not with a rotten attitude. I am working on this, but God is identifying a number of areas where my attitude leaves a lot to be desired. God is keeping me on a short leash here and quickly convicting me when I cop an attitude.

Esther - "Waiting Time Is NOT Wasting Time"

2017-04-18T15:08:00.002-07:00

Tree at Zion National Park

I think this is the first time I've ever written after one of my women's Bible studies, but I felt I needed to write about this as it's really on my mind in a big way. Over these months since starting the Bible study last August 2016, I've found myself being challenged and changing as a result of what I'm learning with these women from my church.

We've had a change in leadership due to our leader and her husband being called away to move out of state and there is new leadership. I have been blessed by all the leadership past and present, even though I am relatively new to this Bible study group.

Today our guest teacher was one of the women in our group. She is an Indian lady from India. All of us women in the group are wives and mothers of children of varying ages. If you asked me maybe a decade ago whether I would ever want to be in a group with all women, I would be hesitant. However, over the course of the years and events, I have replaced my predominantly male friendships with female friendships, particularly those of godly women whom love the Lord and are really living life, being challenged to live out life as a godly woman according to the Bible.

I can't share most and everything M talked about, but some epiphanies came to me that I am willing to share that is knocking me over that I never realized before:

Every story in the Bible along with its characters have a specific purpose to teach and help us in our walks with God.
Many of us display characteristics from many of the characters in the Bible and some of those characters aren't good characters. I'll explain later.
"Waiting Time Is NOT Wasting Time" - I highlighted this in my notes, the only thing I highlighted.

Some characters in the Bible, I can really relate to:

David - he was a man after God's own heart even though he committed many awful sins. He understood how to make things right with God through repentance.
Thomas - though he was a disciple of Jesus, he had so many doubts.
Paul - the ability to share, to write, to endure trials and tribulations yet remain positive
Elijah - a man of great faith, but even he got discouraged and exasperated
Ruth - willing to serve, to humble herself and listen to godly wisdom, to give up everything she knew
Peter - bold, but also a coward; got humbled, but once he realized he was prideful, he was quick to make it right.

There are other characters in the Bible I can relate to that I won't share at this time. However, there were characters that I didn't think I could relate to and some were:

Queen Esther - beautiful, bold, strong, held great favor
Mordacai - a faithful servant of God, a man who could hear God clearly, willing to be a humble servant for as long as it took, brave
Haman - a prideful, deceitful, arrogant man
Jezebel - wicked, evil, prideful, never acknowledging her sin, hateful, revengeful
the Giant Philistine - prideful, arrogant, taunting
King Ahab - a pushover, easily negatively influenced, wicked, evil, a wife pleaser, dominated by a female
Deborah - a great judge, godly wisdom, strong
Ananais & Saphira - stole from God, lied, not taking responsibility
Adam - not taking responsibility, blaming others, not walking in his God-given destiny
Esau - forsaking something really important for something temporal, short-sightedness
Jacob - a deceiver, wanted things his way
Rebecca - also a deceiver, a manipulator, wanted things her way

Each of these characters that I can relate to and not, the truth is, I hold qualities and traits from the good and bad characters of the Bible. Each are examples of godliness or ungodliness. With each person, there are consequences to the choices they made. Some took the easy route. Others did not and even for some that did not take the easy route, they did not see a good ending.

You cannot see faith, rather it is a trust put into action through either obedience or disobedience to God. Some people made choices to turn their lives around and others did not. There were happy and unhappy endings for both godly and ungodly people. I think my take away today is that even some of the characteristics of some of the characters in the Bible I thought I couldn't relate to, if I look deep enough and study their character and choices, I can find that I exhibit some of these good as well bad traits.

As I wait upon God for certain things to happen in my life, it's not for me to dictate WHEN this will happen, but to allow God the time He needs to make things happen. Sometimes in order for this to happen, these 5 things need to happen before. I may be on #4 or still on #1. Each has its own time and somehow this Masterpiece that the Lord is making, it's best left up to the Master Artist and not to the paint or the paintbrush or the easel or whatever the tool it is.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Pick a character, any character in the Bible. Evaluate the traits and choices of that person. What do you have in common that is good and bad about that character? What kind of choices will that help you make for the present and future based upon what you are learning?

Why am I writing about this? There are things I see in my husband and kids, and others that I would love to see "better", but I cannot control when they change or what is even changed. God calls me to be obedient to Him, to allow Him to change me. I don't need to worry about getting others to change. That is God's job. But perhaps in the process of ME changing, God is working on changing others, but it starts with me.

"Waiting Time is NOT Wasting Time"

The Intentional Woman: Jezebel: Who's In Control - Chapter 15

2017-04-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

Valley of Fire, Nevada

1. Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading the text and the lesson this week. What was notable to you from the reading?

Our society and culture very much advocates the Jezebel way of doing things - women being control freaks, dominating over men, doing it our way, we don't have to submit to anyone. And anyone who gets in our way, we are quick to destroy. We worship all sorts of idols and sacrifice so much in order to please ourselves. I didn't realize how much women as a society and culture resemble Jezebel until I read this chapter. This is very bad.

I was on the road to being like Jezebel and certainly was in my first 2 marriages. But, in this 3rd marriage, learning to submit to the authority of headship of being leader in our household to my husband as it says to do in the Bible, it has been very challenging, but also rewarding. It is my nature to want to control and only by God's strength and daily leaning on Him that I can submit to my husband's authority, whether I agree or disagree. How miraculous and wonderful that is to do it God's way. Certainly not the easy way, but it's a way that brings blessings and ultimately peace.

2. Read 1 Kings 16:31. Then read Deuteronomy 7:1-15.

1 Kings 16:31 - It came about, as though it had been a trivial thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he married Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and went to serve Baal and worshiped him. (NASB)
Deuteronomy 7:1-15 - 7 “When the Lord your God brings you into the land which you are entering to possess, and has cleared away many nations before you, the Hittite and the Girgashite and the Amorite and the Canaanite and the Perizzite and the Hivite and the Jebusite, seven nations greater and mightier than you,²and when the Lord your God gives them over to you and you defeat them, then you shall utterly destroy them. You shall not make a covenant (treaty) with them nor show mercy and compassion to them. ³You shall not intermarry with them; you shall not give your daughter to his son, nor shall you take his daughter for your son; ⁴for they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods; then the anger of the Lord will be kindled and burn against you and He will quickly destroy you. ⁵But this is how you shall deal with them: you shall tear down their altars and smash to pieces their sacred pillars, and cut down their Asherim (symbols of the goddess Asherah), and burn their carved or sculpted images in the fire. ⁶For you are a holy people [set apart] to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be a people for His own possession [that is, His very special treasure].⁷“The Lord did not love you and choose you because you were greater in number than any of the other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. ⁸But because the Lord loves you and is keeping the oath which He swore to your fathers, the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed (bought) you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt.⁹Therefore know [without any doubt] and understand that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God, who is keeping His covenant and His [steadfast] loving kindness to a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments;¹⁰but repays those who hate Him to their faces, by destroying them; He will not hesitate with him who hates Him, He will repay him to his face.¹¹Therefore, you shall keep (follow, obey) the commandment and the statutes and judgments (precepts) which I am commanding you today. Promises of God ¹²“Then it shall come about, because you listen to these judgments and keep and do them, that the Lord your God will keep with you the covenant and the [steadfast] loving kindness which He swore to your fathers. ¹³He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your land, your grain and your new wine and your [olive] oil, the offspring of your cattle and the young of your flock, in the land which He swore to your fathers to give you.¹⁴You shall be blessed above all peoples; there will be no male or female barren (childless, infertile) among you or among your cattle.¹⁵The Lord will take away from you all sickness; and He will not subject you to any of the harmful diseases of Egypt which you have known, but He will impose them on all [those] who hate you. (AMP)

a. Why was it important for the people of God to obey His instructions for them?

God really wants to bless His people, to keep them from harm, disease, protect them. If they are disobedient, He'll withdraw His hand of blessing and must discipline. God would rather not need to discipline His people.

b. How does God feel about our disobedience to His Word? Also consider Isaiah 30:1.

Isaiah 30:1 - Woe to the rebellious children! This is the Lord’s declaration. They carry out a plan, but not Mine; they make an alliance, but against My will, piling sin on top of sin. (HCSB)

Definitely God HAS to correct/discipline. He is a Holy God and cannot go against His Word. He must bring judgment against sin.

3. While God held Ahab responsible for his own decisions just as He did Adam in the Garden of Eden, it is important to see the contribution of a wife's influence on her husband, just as we saw how Eve and Sarah had great influence on their husbands. Certainly we can conclude that Jezebel also had great influence on her husband as well. How can we be positive influences on our husbands? Prayerfully, think about ways that you can influence your husband for good and not for evil?

We can be positive influences on our husbands by staying close to God through obeying God. How can we do this? We must hide God's Word in our hearts - meaning study Scripture, memorize Scripture and also, we must take actions to apply the Bible to our lives as we understand it. Also, we must pray and ask God to open our own eyes to our own sin and allow God & the Holy Spirit to work in our lives.

We must be continually open to God's correction and discipline, but also do things in love like in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸Love never fails.) (NIV). It is challenging to love in every day situations, especially when we are emotionally charged in not a good way. But if we take God's Word as true, and it is because I've tried to prove it wrong many times and failed. Loving God's way is not easy. Submitting to our husbands is not easy because it's contrary to our society & culture, as well as to our sinful natures.

Though as a Christian, the Spirit Man in me is perfect, but my soul, my human being is not perfect. So we must love as Christ tells us to love our husbands and to depend on Jesus to help us do this because in our own strength, we cannot do this. Or, at least I cannot. We're to encourage our husbands and willingly submit to our husbands as heads of our households. We are to trust the Lord through our husbands that even if they make a mistake, God will still honor our submission.

In Romans 8:28 - ²⁸And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose. (AMP) that is says that God will still work things out for His glory. So, yes, things may seem messed up at this moment, but we're to give God the control through our husbands. We are to have a quiet and gentle spirit and that can win our husbands towards the Lord or to draw closer to God. The Bible tells us that we are helpmates to our husbands.

I know that my husband is greatly influenced and encouraged by me when I don't having a whining, complaining spirit that is argumentative, but when there is conflict, we can rationally and reasonably talk in good tones of voices, being respectful of each other. I know it also encourages my husband when I am helpful and letting him have his own way. If I should disagree with him, to do this in a gentle, nice way instead of controlling and confrontational.

Tone of voice, body language, attitude make a huge difference. No use of sarcasm, but a humble, willing spirit. Put it this way, it takes all of me to lean on God because sometimes I just don't feel like this. Also, there are periods of time when my husband needs space to cool down, so I need to give him this space without doing it with a bad attitude. I have a lot of work to go, but I am making headway.

4. Luke 6:43-45 (“You don’t get wormy apples off a healthy tree, nor good apples off a diseased tree. The health of the apple tells the health of the tree. You must begin with your own life-giving lives. It’s who you are, not what you say and do, that counts. Your true being brims over into true words and deeds.) (MSG) explains so much about "roots and fruits!" It tells us this: What is truly in the heart (root) will eventually come out of us (fruit). The words that spill out of our mouths and the deeds we do are basically just the fruit of the root. Behavior is the natural result of what is in our hearts. Our behavior can only lastingly be changed if our hearts are changed first. Jezebel had bad attitudes and actions because her heart was messed up. She was just living out of her true self through her words and ways.

Consider what these verses say to us in regard to our heart motives, especially as a woman. Read the verses and record your thoughts as you consider the "roots of your fruit." What can we learn about our own hearts?

Luke 6:43-45 - ⁴³“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.⁴⁴Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, or grapes from briers.⁴⁵A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. (NIV)
I need to work on rooting out bad attitudes because when I'm tired and upset with my husband or kids, some vile things come out and that shouldn't be. If it were not in me, then it wouldn't come out, right? Lots of work needed here.
Psalm 19:14 - May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. (NLT)
This is my continual prayer and a verse I constantly meditate on. If I look back at the years, I see a change, but sometimes day to day, I do not. I want God to infiltrate every part of me and that especially when I'm weak, tired, upset, worn out, that the only things that come out of me are the sweet and good things of God and not the vile things I've kept inside of me. For those things, I need to repent and get healing from so they are no longer a part of my life. Working on this.
Jeremiah 17:9 - “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick;
Who can understand it? (NASB)
God continues to use the Holy Spirit to allow me to be in situations that reveal the nature of my heart. These are opportunities for me to repent and get healing for all those sins so they do not further hinder me. It's amazing how much wickedness is inside of me. But, God does want me on a "short leash" so that that I am not allowing anything between Him and me, so that He can powerfully work in my life. Not easy, but definitely worth it.

5. What encouragement does God's Word give us in regard to the sinfulness of our hearts?

Psalm 32:5 - Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.” Suddenly the pressure was gone—my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. (MSG)
The Bible says we don't have to hide and pretend we don't sin, even the best of us that others may think are really good, we are not. God wants us to acknowledge ALL our sins, no matter how bad. There is nothing so bad that Jesus didn't die on the Cross for and God is always willing to forgive us. But we have to acknowledge that it is sin and ask God for forgiveness. And this is really important, but then to get healing for all the stuff that that sin has caused and going back through all our ancestors. This is how we make sin right because Jesus died for those sins and He makes it right for us. The devil wants us to feel ashamed and embarrassed, that we cannot reveal our sins to God, that they cannot be forgiven, but that's a lie. You also don't need to go to a Priest to confess, because JESUS is the bridge to God and we need only go to Him. However, it would also do us good in many situations (not all) to also ask forgiveness of those whom we've offended, when it's wise and God tells us to do this.
Psalm 51:17 - The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. (KJV)
Sin separates us from God and God wants us to truly understand that. Sin is not to be taken lightly and no matter what degree of sin from a white lie to murder, it's all sin to God. Sin is sin to Him, even if we humans place sin in varying degrees of badness. Satan will never go to God for forgiveness, even though he knows it's sin. That's the big difference. We can use Jesus to bridge that gap between us and God caused by sin. We can choose to take that gift freely or not at all. Our choice. Not God's choice. He set the boundary and gives us free will to choose not only Salvation through Jesus, but also that once we have Salvation from eternal damnation, that we can continually live in right standing with Him.
1 John 1:8-9 - ⁸If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (NIV)
I love that the nature of God is love and He loves infinitely. We don't have to pay penance or anything or need a priest to absolve of us sin, only Jesus. How wonderful that is.

KEEPING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this lesson. What personal lessons concerning Jezebel will you apply in your own life? How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

I'm encouraged that though I have sinned so much and that I've made many bad choices, that if I'm willing to acknowledge my sins, God is able to and willing to forgive me. It doesn't mean I don't face the negative consequences of my choices, but somehow doing this brings about a peace I would not otherwise have. I do not need to control everything. God is in control, even when things seem to be falling apart at times.

I can submit to my husband and do, but it must be out of love. Ahab did eventually recognize his sin and acknowledge it before God, but he did reap the negative consequences, too. I think I will meet Ahab in Heaven one day, but not Jezebel because she was always about herself. She was her own god. Too bad Ahab didn't take the stands he should against Jezebel before it was too late.

I can influence my husband positively for Christ. But, I must let God and the Holy Spirit do the work in my husband's heart to change him to be more like Jesus. I am not to play the Holy Spirit. Just as God is patient with me, I must be patient too with my husband and kids.

The Intentional Woman: To Intentionally Follow - Chapter 14

2017-04-03T13:07:00.003-07:00

Oak Creek near Cathedral Rock

1. Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading the text and the lesson this week. What was notable to you from the reading?

Submission doesn't mean slavery or being a doormat. It doesn't mean the object of abuse or humiliation, which is really what our society says it is or some form of it. I like how the author very respectfully talks about this very delicate subject in our culture and society today. Submission is an attitude of willingness to place yourself or "arrange" yourself to be serve those to whom you are in submission to. No one can make you submit to anything, rather you have to choose to submit. It is done according to your free will.

There was a great firmness yet gentleness in which the author spoke about submission. I loved how she talked about one's identity in Christ and God would never ask us to debase or humiliate ourselves in order for there to be submission. She writes, "Submission is a place of honor & dignity, though it does require humility . . . " Humility is humbleness, not humiliation.

2. What do you think women fear most about submitting to their husbands? What are your struggles in this area?

I think women fear most about submission is not having control, being a doormat and subject to humiliation and abuse, but that is not what true godly submission is or means.

What I am challenged with is having a good attitude of servanthood. Sometimes I feel entitled and tired and when that is the case, I can get quite sarcastic, have a bad attitude, and feel like I am owed or why should I do this? Usually that is not the case and I happily submit to my husband as the head of our household. So being tired, overwhelmed, over scheduled, out of balance in life makes me not such a nice person to deal with, much less wanting to be submissive. Also, when I don't feel like I'm being heard, I am less submissive.

But, the Bible doesn't talk about being submissive to our husbands only when all the things are going right, rather all the time. I have seen the great benefit of trusting God to work through my husband. We are both flawed people and we will make mistakes. God gives us grace, hence we should give each other grace and forgive.

I am his helpmate and my husband does listen to my wisdom, so as long as I'm not nagging and trying to be controlling. Still a great work in progress, but I'm doing way better in this marriage than I ever did in my other 2 marriages.

3. What do you learn from the Scripture below about God's heart and character? How does trusting in God's character help us to trust Him in His commands, in particular to be submissive to our husband's leadership?

Isaiah 46:8-10 - ⁸ “Do not forget this! Keep it in mind! Remember this, you guilty ones. ⁹Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. ¹⁰Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish. (NLT)

God can do anything He wants and He has commanded wives to submit to our husbands. We can trust that God can work through our husbands and when we submit to them, even though they might be wrong, God will be honored and bless wives as we do this and things do turn out for God's glory. I have seen this in my own life and when I don't feel like trusting God with my husband, I can look back at my past divorces and my current marriage, the differences in not submitting to my husbands before and now submitting to my current husband and seeing the amazing stuff God can do no matter what.

Isaiah 49:15-16a - ¹⁵ “Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. ¹⁶“Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me. (NASB)

Sometimes we can think nothing is happening as we submit to our husbands and nothing good seems to come out of it. But, God is saying He sees and rewards. God will bless in due time and do incredible things we know not of. God cannot forget us.

Lamentations 3:21-23 - ²¹Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: ²²Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. ²³They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (NIV)

God truly is faithful and will not fail us. Even when we are not faithful or patient or kind or even submissive to our husbands, God understands. We can truly trust in God.

4. How is submission to your husband's leadership a picture of your submission to God? Review these Scriptures to help you with your answers?

1 Corinthians 11:3 - But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman,[a] and God is the head of Christ. (HCSB)

God is over our husbands and our husbands are over us. It is because of the sins of Adam and Eve the Bible says husbands will rule over their wives.

Ephesians 5:22-24, 33b - 22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. (MSG)

I love this picture because God shows us that he is not a tyrant or demanding as He is the ultimate head, and that our husbands are subject to Christ. There is a deep love that Christ leads our husbands and our husbands as they lead us, they should see Christ's example and lead us wives as such.

Titus 2:5 - to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. (NASB)

There is a hierarchy and we are to follow it. Chaste and discreet are used in the KJV version. I think about how often I may not be discreet and chaste in my attitude and speech, but the Bible says that we wives are to be sensible and pure not just in our physical appearance, but in our attitudes, in our speech, in all we do. We are the keepers of the home for which our husbands come home to. Wow, be kind. Sometimes as a wife, I am not very kind.

When we can submit to our husbands, it is really showing Christ working through and in us.

5. In what ways can a wife support her husband's leadership even though he may not be a follower of Christ?

It's hard to know if my husband is or isn't a Christian, but I know we do not share all the same thoughts about the Bible, some very basic things. So, should I still submit to my husband? Absolutely. I am to trust God and the Bible tells us wives to submit to our husbands not only if they are Christians, but if they are our husbands - Christian or not.

Of course, if our husbands ask us to do something that is against God like killing someone or robbing a bank, or to harm others, ourselves, or anyone, it's those times we are to not submit. But for most things, our husbands aren't asking wives to do those types of things. It's to have a pleasant attitude when serving him and our families, to do things to help our husbands be successful in their role as head of the household. It's to respect & honor him, like when my husband says to table a heated discussion, I just need to respect and honor him and give us both space to cool down and then come back when we are both not emotional about things. Working on this.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter. What personal lessons concerning submission will you apply in your own life? How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

Submitting to my husband's authority is something I have worked very hard to do in our marriage and I've seen the blessings of this. My will is quite strong, like a wild mustang, but as I trust God to work through my husband, even when he makes mistakes, I can be confident that even when my husband leads us in the wrong direction, that I can trust that God may allow it and use it for His good.

Rather than me brute force things to the way I want, I've seen God soften my husband's heart, be more tender towards me, treat me better. As I said before, we are both flawed people and work in progress. We still have quite a ways to go, but we've also come a long ways. We are both committed to each other, even if there are moments that seem like we are not.

I just have to respect my husband and give him space on some things, even if it's highly important to me, and let him meet me on his own time. God can do anything and though God does give free will, if I use my free will just to obey God through my husband, God can do more through that than if I didn't trust God and tried to manipulate things to

The Intentional Woman: Mary: Seeing God - Chapter 13

2017-03-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

1. Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter. What was notable to you from the reading?

Mary had favor with God because she had childlike faith to trust God. Though the whole thing was so strange and bizarre, I bet she knew God's Word very well and hid it in her heart so that she could rely on it during her many times of probably worry and anxiety. What she was going to go through and did never happened to another human being ever and never will. I have a long way to go in my faith and relationship with God to have this kind of faith. I am awestruck at the woman, wife, and mother she was to have gone through all this. So many things to learn from her.

2. In what ways did Mary demonstrate purity of motive, message and modesty in her life? (You may want to review the definitions of purity from the previous chapter)

Mary could have questioned God and refused to have faith. I mean, who was she to listen to a kid (Jesus), but she did. I'm sure at time Mary was frustrated with Jesus as all mothers can be with their own children. I have been. The Bible doesn't talk about this too much other than she worried about Jesus and some of what He did.

It's a challenge for me to truly understand purity of motive. But the modesty, I'm sure in that day as well as in all ages, women can talk and gossip. For her not to complain and gossip, keeping a tight reign on her mouth must have meant she had a super close relationship with God and really a complete trust, even though she could not see what God was doing. She kept the big picture in mind, which I believe helped her stay the course and make good decisions in her life, as well as that of her family.

3. Though Mary's spiritual journey was one-of-a-kind, in what ways were her faith lessons like ours?

We can't see the full path ahead of us, or sometimes even the steps. The end goal we see. We will be with Jesus in Heaven. But all the stuff between now and Heaven? That can be quite challenging and we must rely on God the whole way. When we take our eyes off our Creator, then that's when we have fear, make wrong decisions, and a host of other bad things.

There will be sorrow and pain, but it's all for a greater purpose.

4. Growing in purity opens our eyes to see God working, but sometimes we encounter spiritual blindness in our lives. What can you learn about spiritual blindness from these Scriptures?

Deuteronomy 16:19 - You must never twist justice or show partiality. Never accept a bribe, for bribes blind the eyes of the wise and corrupt the decisions of the godly. (NLT)

We all can have biases and we must guard against this. Ask God to reveal to use what we are blind in and make things right.

2 Corinthians 4:4 - among them the god of this world [Satan] has blinded the minds of the unbelieving to prevent them from seeing the illuminating light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (AMP)

It is Satan that causes the blindness, but God can remove it if we ask God to. We should see clearly and do what is right in God's eyes, but if we can't see that we are in the wrong, then we can't admit that we are wrong. God must open our eyes, but He won't do it unless we ask.

Ephesians 4:17-18 - ¹⁷So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.¹⁸They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. (NIV)

Man's way of thinking is contrary to God's. We must test and see if what we are doing is what God desires. We must read, study the Bible and gain better understanding to see how our actions, thoughts, words all compare to God's Word. Continually living in purposeful, sinful ways hardens our hearts and that does not draw us closer to God.

1 John 2:11 - But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes. (NASB)

God is love, so if we don't love others, then how can we say God is in us? However, God in love also corrects and disciplines, so if there are other people committing sins against us and God, those aren't to be excused. We are to confront others in love. That is quite challenging for me, at least with some people.

Psalm 146:8 - The Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord lifts up those who are weighed down. The Lord loves the godly. (NLT)

The Blind can see and be healed, if we would reach out and truly ask Jesus to heal us. I know I can be so blind in so many things, but I know God is restoring my sight and that I am to walk in this sight, not spiritual blindness.

5. In what areas of your life do you need to see God? Is there some area of spiritual blindness that keeps you from seeing God in your life?

I think I have spiritual blindness in God's ability to use me to make money, and for evangelism. I need God so much in these areas.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter. What personal lessons from Mary's life will you apply in your own life? What steps of action will you take to be more intentional in this area?

It's been incredibly challenging for me to see how God can still allow me to really make money after all the mistakes I've made. Mary knew in the end that Jesus would die, and she had to completely trust God that this was not the end, no matter how painful it was. I think I have allowed the pain of all the financial stuff I went through to hold me back and listening to people, though they have my best interest at heart, that always play it safe and just settle.

Some actions I am currently taking are going through professional EMDR counseling sessions to get rid of my fears to help me get back on track and not be fearful about making money, no matter how God deems me to do this. This time I will be focused on God, not the money or anyone else. But, it's taking so much time.

Your Character Behind Closed Doors

2017-03-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

Death Valley - Bad Water Basin (Nov'16)

I have been challenged each week as I attend my Women's Bible Study with various aspects of not only things regarding my marriage and family, but also me personally in my walk with God. Actually, it's really about my walk with the Lord.

The true test of what kind of character you have is what you do behind closed doors when nobody knows or can see what you're doing aside from God. This also means your spouse and children don't know or cannot see how you are, rather only God. I'm of the belief that all our sins find us out sooner or later because the Bible talks about this in both the Old Testament (OT) and the New Testament (NT).

I guess I felt a bit smug in this that I felt that I was not a hidden sin type person, but I guess this really subtle sin was hidden and even I didn't take responsibility for that I could have known hidden sin in my life. Though I have been a born-again Christian since I was 7 yrs, and now 48 yrs old, I felt pretty confident that yes, I do sin and make mistakes, but to knowingly be a person or do something that showed a lack of integrity, I didn't feel I was that person, or at least have gotten that out of my system.

I'm going to share several translations of some verses in both the OT and the NT that talk about our sins finding us out.

1. Number 32:23 (OT)

HCSB - But if you don’t do this, you will certainly sin against the Lord; be sure your sin will catch up with you.
ESV - But if you will not do so, behold, you have sinned against the Lord, and be sure your sin will find you out.
CEV - But if you don’t keep your promise, you will sin against the Lord and be punished.
NABRE - But if you do not do this, you will have sinned against the Lord, and you can be sure that the consequences of your sin will overtake you.
NLT - But if you fail to keep your word, then you will have sinned against the Lord, and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.
VOICE - But if you fail to follow through, your sin against the Eternal will follow you. Wherever you go, it will go badly for you.
MSG - “But if you don’t do what you say, you will be sinning against God; you can be sure that your sin will track you down. So, go ahead. Build towns for your families and corrals for your livestock. Do what you said you’d do.”
CEB - But if you don’t do this, you’ve sinned against the Lord. Know that your sin will find you.

It's always helpful to look at a verse in different translations to get a better understanding of what you are reading. And, better yet, you can go to the Greek and Hebrew to look things up for further understanding about various words. We can see that if we try to hide sin, it eventually gets exposed. God sees to it.

2. Luke 12:2 (NT)

AMP - But there is nothing [so carefully] concealed that it will not be revealed, nor so hidden that it will not be made known.
GW - Nothing has been covered that will not be exposed. Whatever is secret will be made known.
ICB - Everything that is hidden will be shown. Everything that is secret will be made known.
NIV - There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.

God had to remind me as well as humble me in a gentle way to share with me that I am also accountable and there was still an area of my life that hadn't come under submission to the Lord. The Bible tells wives to submit to our husbands and foolishly I thought I had been doing that. But last night, an area of something I had done without my husband's approval was exposed.

Who exposed it? God used me to expose it accidentally. I had bought something without my husband's approval. Now, mind you, I don't need his approval when it comes to every day things like buying groceries and things like that. But on more expensive things that I don't normally buy, we mutually agreed quite some time back that we would get each others' agreement before purchasing such things.

My husband had been doing that and for things I object, we discuss and come to a compromise. But, the prior year, I wanted to get something and he disagreed. It was a great price and on sale and a bit pricey. Without asking him or letting him know, I went ahead and purchased a Target Gift Card for $300 for $270 or something like that. Maybe less.

I believe I did this back in December sometime, so nearly 3 months ago and I had used it to buy various things our family needed the past 3 months. And, I only had about $8 or so left of that $300. I'm usually always very open and forthright with my husband. He knows all my passwords to everything, and can get on my computer, iPad, iPhone or anything anytime.

I willfully bought this without his permission or even knowledge until last night. I tried to justify and rationalize why it wasn't wrong of me to do so for a little bit with him. But, my husband finally responded, knowing that I am very sensitive to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, he said to me, "If it wasn't wrong, you would have told me about it. You didn't tell me because you knew it was wrong."

Wow!! That hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought I was completely transparent with my husband, but I was deceiving myself. Maybe 98% of the time I was, but this 2% Target gift card was not. My husband told me that caused him to lose some trust in me that evening. He didn't yell at me. He didn't order or demand of me anything. He just said it wasn't right of me of what I did.

My husband wasn't looking to catch me in anything. In fact, he didn't even have a clue, but God made it possible to reveal my sin through me. What was hidden was now exposed. I didn't want to take responsibility.

The fact was, if I use the gift card, I don't get 5% off. So, technically, I only saved 5%, $15 and I allowed $15 to cause my husband to lose some trust in me for which I have to rebuild back. I want to be completely trustworthy not only to my husband, but also to God.

See, submitting to our husbands isn't easy. It is counter to what our society teaches us. But, God's ways are always better. I have seen how God has blessed multiple times over when I truly trusted God instead of taking things into my own hands, thinking I know better. I have trusted God in so many things through my husband and I have seen God's hand of blessing upon us, upon me.

Even if my husband still said no, then I am to honor and respect my husband and not buy whatever it is. Even if he is wrong and maybe there is some negative thing that happens, I'm still to trust God. Eventually, God will bring blessing when He sees fit. I failed here and that greatly grieves me as I have hurt not only my husband, but particularly God.

Romans 2:4 says in the NOG, "Do you have contempt for God, who is very kind to you, puts up with you, and deals patiently with you? Don’t you realize that it is God’s kindness that is trying to lead you to him and change the way you think and act?".

This is an opportunity for me to get this right with God through asking Him to forgive me, and then to change the way I think and act with His help. THAT is repentance. It's not only the act of forgiveness, but to change from the heart what brought you to that sin in the first place. It's those little character flaws that can really lead to a person's downfall.

Though we are not financially wealthy at this point, before God can give more to me, to us, He has to make sure not only can we handle it, but that we have the integrity, strength of character to be people of honor, people of integrity, willing to do the right thing no matter what.

As I always tell my children, we can learn lessons quickly or we can keep repeating them and the lessons will get harder and harder. It's better to have a $30 (actually $15) lesson than a $30 billion or more lesson.

What are you like in secret? If they are sins against the Almighty God, eventually your hidden, secret sins will find you out. God will make sure of it. I am grateful for God's kindness in this in showing me, revealing my flaws to me with someone safe and giving me the opportunity to right this wrong.

Happy 4th Anniversary to Us!!!

2017-02-28T07:54:00.001-07:00

This is a picture of my husband and I in January on our way back from the Grand Canyon. Sunset Crater is behind us. We were blessed with quite a bit of snow with this trip.

Today my husband and I celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. This is my third marriage and my husband's second. We both can honestly say that God has really blessed our marriage and protected it. It started off rocky. We both came into this marriage with so much emotional, relational, spiritual and relational baggage. My husband never had children before getting married to me and at that time, our children were 9 and 12. He instantly became a dad. He was never around children much either.

We're both firstborns, engineers, strong willed. I praise God that despite those things, God is making our marriage not only work, but thrive. Through various hardships we faced, the Holy Spirit gave us fortitude and perseverance to keep going on, to see past the immediate and to look to the future. At times, it looked bleak when our eyes were focused on right now or on our circumstances.

Thankfully neither he nor I have so much in common and have the same strengths & weaknesses that the other wasn't needed. My husband has a high emotional intelligence, which mine isn't all that high. But I have a persevering stamina and we were both life long learners. Though both of us are strong-willed people, we found that that doesn't always serve us so well in marriage. When one wins and the other loses, it really is a lose-lose situation in the end.

It really took me submitting to the Lord in what He said in His Word. Ephesians 5:22 says that wives are to submit to their husbands. Now, there is more to the chapter and I will do my best to not take things out of context, but that is one thing I did NOT do in either of my prior marriages. I Peter 3:1, Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:24 all say similarly. It wasn't easy and really took a lot of prayer, but also putting faith into actions.

As I've said in other posts regarding the prayer model I learned from Katie Souza, when I began repenting of things I've done, felt, or thought wrong, but also getting healing on all those soul wounds that those sins caused, I found my life changing. I knew intellectually I could not change my husband and the only thing I could do was to allow God to change me. So, that is what I did. I allowed God to change me. And, so He is doing.

Little by little as my own heart changed, my own perceptions and views changed, God began to change my husband. He's still doing that with both of us. And, now, 4 years later, we are enjoying the fruits of those labors. We continue to labor, to allow God more into our lives, being sensitive to what He is telling us to do, and then taking actions on those things.

Today it rained - this morning. I see that as a huge blessing from the Lord. It also rained yesterday. As we pick up on the first day of our 5th year, I look forward to see what God will do in our lives as we submit more to Him, conform to more of who He is, making Him an even greater part of our lives. It's exciting.

God is so good. Not only do I love my husband but I am so in love with him. And, I see it in the way my husband looks at me, touches me, loves me that he also is growing more in love with me as time goes by. We are way more in love with each other now than we were when we got married. He is my Mr. Right. And I am his Mrs. Right.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 12 - Intentional Purity

2017-02-28T07:38:00.001-07:00

1. Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter. What was notable to you from the reading?

I'm not sure that I got any further thoughts or insights from reading this chapter. This is something I've been working on for quite a bit in the past few years, especially in this marriage, my third marriage. My husband is very protective about me being proper in my dress in terms of modesty and now it's become my own as I now own it. Also, in my thought life, God knows all my thoughts and I want even my thoughts to please God. No one else can see my thought life BUT God and what is in your heart will eventually come out. The circumstances I have been through have greatly given me a better perspective that helps keep me humble. I like how the author spells out purity to be CHARACTER, CONDUCT and CLOTHING.

2. We read in Hebrews 4:12-13 about God's ability to expose even the thoughts and motives of our hearts. To digest this a bit more, along with these additional verses, what can we learn about God and our own hearts? Are there any motives in your life that God is revealing to you that are not pure?

Hebrews 4:12-13 - ¹²For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It is able to judge the ideas and thoughts of the heart. ¹³No creature is hidden from Him, but all things are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give an account. (HCSB)

God convicted me quite some time back that though I may act good on the outside, it is HE that sees my heart, which includes my thoughts and motives. There were times I did outwardly good, but my thoughts were not good. God has been working in this area of my life quite dramatically the past 3-4 yrs and though I'm still a long way from where I need to be, I've also come a long way in taking my thoughts captive and submitting them to the Lord. It's not been easy. We cannot hide from God because He sees and knows everything.

Imagine if God were sitting right there inside your mind, seeing all those wicked thoughts. It's best to not have them.

1 Corinthians 4:4-5 - 4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God. (NIV)

This is something I have been challenged with. Sometimes I want to expose the darkness of others, but God says to look to myself and expose myself and my intentions. When I have done that and called out my own sins, acknowledge them and that I want to change, then take actions to allow God to change me, then can my motives become pure.

James 2:1-4 - 1-4 My dear friends, don’t let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious, Christ-originated faith. If a man enters your church wearing an expensive suit, and a street person wearing rags comes in right after him, and you say to the man in the suit, “Sit here, sir; this is the best seat in the house!” and either ignore the street person or say, “Better sit here in the back row,” haven’t you segregated God’s children and proved that you are judges who can’t be trusted? (MSG)

I think I do okay at this. I don't really care about the status or something of others and have tended to befriend all types of people. Still, there is room for improvement. I was probably better at this when I didn't have kids. But with having kids and now whom are teenagers, I tend to judge people more as I don't want them to have bad influences.

3. From 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (19 Or do you not know that your body is a [a]temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from [b]God, and that you are not your own? 20 For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. NASB), we read that our life is not our own if we are born again in Christ. We are ambassadors carrying the message of Christ through our lives. Name all the ways that you are a messenger for Christ. What does this mean in your life?

I am a messenger of Christ by my actions, how I live life. If I say I love God, but show no love nor compassion towards others, always thinking of myself first or only of myself, how does that show the love of God. I'm reminded that love of God is not easy nor convenient. Many times I've had to be inconvenienced for others and honestly, sometimes I get mad or frustrated or angry or contemptuous.
When we do things joyfully and willingly, it gives a much different message. This is something I am still working on and will continue to work on. This one is a challenging one for me.

4. Purity is also about modesty, in character, in conduct and in clothing. What does this mean in your life? What does it mean to be modest in character? Modest in conduct? Modest in clothing? (Refer back to some of the definitions or look it up in the dictionaries for yourself. Try to be specific about how you can apply this to your life.)

Purity for me means that when God looks into all areas of my life, they are pleasing to Him. My character is what I would do if no one was watching. I try to live this way and have gotten better at it as my love for the Lord has grown, but it's only by action . . . that is, faith put into actions. Modest in conduct for me means just not being showy, not needing others to see everything I do and praise me. Modest in my clothing means to not be too showy, focus too much on my appearance, but also be respectful.

It means to keep the sexual stuff for my husband and not display it for others to see, eliciting or inciting a sexual response, at least purposefully. So, this means to intentionally wear clothing that still has me looking decent and good, but not for the purpose of sexual arousal. Since I work from home, I always try to keep a neat, simple appearance. However, I will dress up to meet my husband for lunch often, but not to a revealing part. More beautiful than anything.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter. What personal lessons on Intentional Purity will you apply in your own life? What steps of action will you take to be more intentional in this area?

The Lord has been convicting me through the past few years about all sorts of things regarding purity that I've already made changes to. For me, it's to continue in those things, also to help my kids have purity in their own lives. They are teenagers and being bombarded with things from the outside, this is super necessary. I am grateful they go to a school that wears uniforms. That helps immensely. But outside of school, we talk about purity, guide and correct where needed.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 11 - The Intentional Woman

2017-02-21T07:51:00.000-07:00

1. Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter. What was notable to you from the reading?

The Proverbs 31 woman didn't happen overnight and it was from a mature Christian woman, one who had been a maturing, growing woman for a long time. The husband really is confident in her because she takes care of things at home and everything surrounding it.

2. The excellent woman is sometimes a daunting and intimidating image for women. Women feel that they can't ever measure up to her standard. It is important for us to realize God has left her example in Scripture for us to learn from. Describe one of her qualities that you admire most and why?

She never speaks badly about her husband, protects her husband and family, especially in words. She doesn't complain.

3. How did the excellent woman guard her husband? How did she guard her children? What else did she guard? (Read back through Proverbs 31:10-31)

She does not speak badly about her husband and protects the sanctity of her marriage. She raises and teaches her children well with not just her words, but her example. She corrects them and sees that they all fear God. She is a well-balanced woman, even though she does a great deal. She guards her health and though a lot is on her plate, she does get enough rest.

4. This excellent woman "looked well to the ways of her household and did not eat the bread of idleness." What "bread of idleness" may keep women from taking care of their homes and families properly? Do you struggle with any of these? Explain.

Social media, tv, shopping, gossip, pampering herself, too many commitments, too many causes, being unrealistic about expectations, keeping up with the Jones', perfectionism, give up attitude rather than see this as a process, exhaustion, being unorganized, too much clutter can all keep a woman from taking care of her home and family properly. Those things can be big time distractions.

I am challenged with over committing myself to things, which then leaves me exhausted. Also, sometimes I want to do too much in too short of a time, which leaves me burned out. When I'm exhausted and burned out, then I don't want to be organized or do the things I need. And, sometimes my standards are just too high and I need to just lower them to be more realistic. My husband and kids don't demand those standards of me, nor does God, so why should I place them upon myself like that.

5. It is interesting that Proverbs 1:7 opens the book of Proverbs with this: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge . . . " and Proverbs 31:30 closes the book of Proverbs with "But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." The fear of the Lord or reverence of God is an important theme in the book of Proverbs. We know that to fear God is the beginning of being able to understand or have true wisdom about anything. And, there is praise for those who recognize a life inspired by a heart that reverences God by those who recognize God in her.

What else can we learn from the following verses about fearing or reverencing God and what it accomplishes for us? In what ways will you apply these to your life?

Proverbs 10:27 - The fear of the Lord adds length to life, but the years of the wicked are cut short. (NIV)

I must daily be connected and draw close to God, have a deep and great respect for God. With having a close relationship to God, keeping no sin unrepented and unhealed, this will not allow the enemy to have the legal right to attack me. This will lead to a longer life.

Proverbs 14:26-27 - ²⁶In the ^[a]fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, And ^[b]his children will have refuge. ²⁷The ^[c]fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, That one may avoid the snares of death. (NASB)

It's similar to the verse above. If all my sins are confessed, repented and my soul is healed from the trauma of these sins going back through the generations to Adam and Eve, the enemy (Satan) will not have a legal right to mess with me. As my prayers are effectual, my husband and kids have a place they can safely reside in because I am constantly in a spiritual war for all of us.

Proverbs 15:16 - A simple life in the Fear-of-God is better than a rich life with a ton of headaches. (MSG)

I am learning that having more "stuff" is not necessarily better. As I've gotten rid of a lot of "stuff" really in our home, I am feeling freer and my life seems to be MUCH richer as a result because I'm not being weighed down by a bunch of junk that I thought was worth a lot.

Proverbs 19:23 - The fear of the Lord leads to life; one will sleep at night^[a]without danger. (HCSB)

Having peace is not overrated. Peace is good and being able to get a good night's sleep not ladened with nightmares or physically feeling bad is amazing. For years I didn't get good sleep and now I do. Good sleep is nourishing and healing to one's body, mind and soul. Having that close, intimate relationship with God means that there is a short leash between God and me. We are close and aren't separated by sin.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regards to this chapter. What personal lessons concerning the excellent woman will you apply in your own life? How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

It's all a process. I am to create more balance in my life between keeping my home and life. I tend to be a workaholic, so I need to make sure to have times of rest, too, so that I can do all that God has for me to do. And, I continue to work at speaking good about my husband and children. It's easy when I'm in a good mood, but when I'm in a bad mood (like when I'm tired & exhausted, burned out), it's more challenging. So the key is to not get to the point of exhaustion and burn out.

Make sure to take time daily to rest, and really rest in the Lord. Realize that God didn't create this world in a day and I cannot accomplish everything in a day.

The Intentional Woman: Pursuing a Heart of Wisdom - Chapter 10 - The Intentional Sensible Homemaker

2017-01-31T06:31:00.000-07:00

1. Write down any thoughts or insights that you gained from reading this chapter. What was notable to you from the reading?

When I am not being "sensible" in my life intentionally, my children see this and they see me as a role model whether I want them to or not. I see they have adopted some things I am not sensible in like being aware and conscious about things. They have now formed a bad habit of this and it's not good. I know they got this from me. So, I must now undo this and I am working on it.

As far as taking care of the physical home, this really isn't an issue for me. I'm fairly organized, keep it fairly clean with things in their place. Provide a safe environment for my family to come home to that is inviting. And, I'm working now on really my own behaviors in being sensible.

2. From this chapter, find all the synonyms for the word sensible. Which are strengths for you? Which are weaknesses? Why do you think you struggle in the area of your weaknesses?

Discretion
Discrete
Sound-Minded
Self-Controlled
Temperate
Curbing One's Desires/Impulses
Wise
Prudent
Shrewd
Conscious
Aware of Something
Practical
Moderate
Calm
Productive

My Strengths - Curbing one's desires/impulses, Shrewd, Practical, Productive

My Weaknesses - Calm, Conscious, Aware of Something, Temperate, Self-Controlled, Sound-Minded

The "Weaknesses" are a challenge for me because they all take intentionality and thinking. Sometimes with my words I can be quite tactless, saying what is on my mind. Or, I can also do quite the opposite in not speaking up in a timely manner, then that causes issues, too. I am working on being more aware of things and remaining calm. I am also easily excitable, which can be good, but when something is upsetting me, it's not. Working on deep breathing, praying, using Bach Remedies, EFT. But, I have to realize first that I'm going towards being upset and be proactive to tackle this issue and stay calm.

3. Oikouros also means to be a guard of the home. What do these verses teach us to guard? How could these apply to our role as homemakers?

Psalm 39:1 - I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth while in the presence of the wicked.” (NIV)

Guard our actions and our words.

Psalm 141:3 - Lord, set up a guard for my mouth;keep watch at the door of my lips. (HCSB)

Guard our words.

Luke 12:15 - Speaking to the people, he went on, “Take care! Protect yourself against the least bit of greed. Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot. (MSG)

Guard becoming greed. Remain humble and grateful.

Luke 21:34 - Be on your guard, so that your minds are not dulled from carousing, drunkenness, and worries of life, or that day will come on you unexpectedly (HCSB)

Guard your minds. Keep them sharp and aware, intentionally doing what pleases God.

2 Peter 3:17 - Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawlessand fall from your secure position. (NIV)

Guard being prideful. Keep humble.

1 John 5:1 - Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Messiah has been born of God,and everyone who loves the Father also loves the one born of Him. (HCSB)

Guard our relationships with God and make sure we love as God loves.

4. Which tip for practical homemaking will you put into practice? What heart lesson can you learn from this?

I already put all the practical homemaking tips into practice - 1) Don't Procrastinate; 2) A Place For Everything and Everything In Its Place; 3) Practice the Ant Principle; 4) Clean As You Go; 5) Connect the Physical Work With the Spiritual Work

I really do great with all these and currently I am working on teaching these for my kids and husband. Somehow they find it much more challenging to do this, but it could be that I do such a great job on this. I need to gently remind and help my family learn these habits and not take for granted that I do these.

5. Share another practical homemaking tip that you have learned that you can share with the group.

To avoid clutter, if you bring something home, you must get rid of something either donation, giving away, throwing away. Constantly doing this will avoid clutter. I've done this for quite a few areas of my home and it really helps lessen overwhelm. Also, ask yourself before you buy or acquire something, do you really need this? Even if it is free does not mean you need it.

Once you get an area decluttered and organized, don't let it become cluttered again. Practicing the ant principle works well here.

MAKING IT PERSONAL JOURNAL

Write any thoughts or convictions that you have in regard to this chapter. What personal lessons concerning The Intentional Sensible Homemaker will you apply in your own life? How will you be more intentional as a woman of God?

I think the 2 main things are to be conscious/aware and to be calm. When I'm not calm, it really creates storms and a lack of peace in our home. This is something I've been working a lot on for months now. Slowly making progress. Being calm and aware will allow me to be more intentional, draw me closer to God, and allow me to have even better relationships with not only my husband and children, but others outside the home.