Godville - Blog

Strange New Roads

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Sun, 5 Apr 2026 13:58:54 +0100

Greetings, dear deities! Hopefully you recall the April 1st surprise event when Godville’s map gained a bunch of unidentified locations.

Well, the chaos wasn’t temporary. We are happy to announce that those locations are here to stay.

Anomaly Locations
Godville’s roads are no longer just a straight line to the nearest tavern. Every day, several anomaly zones will sprout across the map, each stretching across dozens of milestones. These are designed to keep your hero awake, shaking up the monotonous “walk-kill-loot” routine with a few surprises.

Every zone carries its own peculiar effect — some helpful, some spiteful. Heroes might walk faster or slower, face stronger or wealthier monsters, find divine influences landing with unusual precision, or watch them melt bricks even after temple completion…

Mapping Locations
Locations start grey and nameless until identified. Many reveal themselves naturally: a hero notices they’re walking faster, or stumbles into an unusually wealthy monster, and connects the dots. Other locations — mainly affecting divine matters — require a nudge from you: any Remote influence will identify it, even an empty godvoice. Just remember: if a zone stays grey after your hero walks through it, it simply isn’t interfering with them.

Each day’s map layout is the same for everyone and visible upfront. However, the zone order is randomized for every hero: the same location might be right outside the capital for one, and buried at the map’s edge for another. Oh, and towns remain blissfully anomaly-free (they have plenty of their own effects already).

To see the locations, make sure your app is up to date: App Store, Google Play.

Spring Content Cleaning
Since it’s April and all — spring cleaning season is officially open. Head to this forum thread to report any in-game text that’s been driving you mad.

Dock and Roll

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 10:20:21 GMT

Ahoy, dear deities! We’ve been tinkering with the coastlines again, and the results are delightfully amusing.

More Ports in Seas
For ages, Godville’s capital enjoyed a total monopoly on sea trade. Well, the provincial towns got jealous and they’ve finally built their own docks. So now while sailing, you’ll often spot new ports: some are visible from the start, while others hide in the fog.

Anchoring at one lets your hero offload booty as usual, but they’ll step off the ark into that specific town instead of the capital. And to know where you’re heading before you dock, just tap the port icon (assuming you use the latest iOS or Android app).

New “Know Your Monster” Season
Our monster quiz is back for a new season! Every day, “Godville Today” will publish a questionable picture of a local monster. Guess its name correctly to get a special gift for your hero. Each season lasts 2-3 months, don’t miss it.

Odds and Ends
Three more things:

Keep an eye on the newspaper for a new spoilered forecast. On these days almost every quest reward will be revealed upfront. And remember, you can use a spoiler artifact to reroll the quest prize.
Relic hunters can now find the Relic of Boldness. Equipping it makes your hero look so daring that strong monsters will be more likely to pick a fight.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! Bosses are so overwhelmed with love they’re practically offering their enamored hearts. Don’t miss the chance to carve out a lovely trophy.

Snow Business

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Sun, 21 Dec 2025 13:28:29 GMT

Warmest greetings, Your Almightinesses! Pause your smiting for a moment, we have goodies to share.

First things first: we’ve dived down the Ideabox treasure trove once again and emerged with hundreds of new diary phrases and artifacts. Which, obviously, go live today. Praise be to the authors and the tireless ER watch!

Next up, a little experiment: push notifications for critical boss battle moments. When Explosive and Sneaky bosses are planning to blow up or flee, you’ll get a heads-up (assuming you have boss notifications enabled). Give it a try and let us know if this is helpful or just annoying.

And now, the main attraction: holiday festivities! Here is the menu:

Seasonal gifts are everywhere! Monsters drop them, snowmen hoard them, and bingo hands them out. Activate them for free and enjoy random rewards. Tip: each bingo extraction delivers a gift instantly, so get one right now.

Hunt for snowflakes ❄️ by defeating monsters, catching reindeer 🦌, fishing frozen ponds, or zapping the godpower capacitor. Trade them for gold, use them as bingo wildcards, or collect 3-5 to build a snowman purely to destroy it and loot the remains.

Santa Clawses and Satan Clauses roam the fields, spreading cheer, gifts, and occasionally agreeing to become pets.

Dungeon Forge owners can plant Christmas trees for visiting heroes to discover and claim presents.

Starting tomorrow, enjoy seasonal activatable ads and the festive town of Laplandville, offering discounts and holiday vibes.

Finally, there are special holiday side jobs and holiday POIs for extra seasonal flavor.

The festivities run until January 2. May your heroes be merry and Godville puns ridiculous. Happy Holidays!

All Hands on Deck

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Tue, 25 Nov 2025 12:52:49 GMT

Greetings, divine judges! Let’s talk about Ideabox voting — as you know, your votes shape what makes it into the game. But let’s be honest, mobile voting has always been a bit clunky. Until now.

Meet the card deck! We’ve reimagined voting into a satisfying swiping experience, far more usable on phones. Check it out:

Flick left to dismiss, swipe right to approve – it’s fun and dandy.

Access the deck via the Cards button in the Ideabox, or use the quick-access button right above hero’s diary in the latest mobile app. (if the button annoys you, you can disable it in the cards menu.) The classic voting interface is not going anywhere, so you can keep using it too.

A temporal voting storm is expected as everyone will be trying out the new divine toy, then things will settle down naturally. Let’s watch this phenomenon together.

Also My Ingenious Pieces now shows the approval percentage for each idea. It’s important for accessing the Ideabox ER, plus it’s just fun to keep an eye on.

Black Friday Sale
For the first time in ages: 2-in-1 sale on godpower charges! Purchase any godpower charges pack (via web or within Godville app) and receive the equal amount as a bonus. (Gifts excluded, one purchase per deity, available through November 30.)

Your support fuels Godville’s servers and ongoing development — thank you for keeping this world alive!

Frights and Delights

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 12:01:05 GMT

Greetings, frightfully divine overseers! We’ve cooked up half a dozen new treats for you, conveniently coming in pairs:

New Activatable Ads

One doubles or halves your hero’s current health — flip that coin for your amusement
The other one casually flips your champion’s personality to the opposite. Tired of your hero’s compassion? Boom, instant cruelty!

New Relics

Relic of Grip — for heroes with butterfingers who keep losing their loot
Relic of Examination — speeds up the examination of other relics (so meta)

Handy Tweaks

When your hero idles in their Shop, the Remote now shows a “Leave Shop” button in web browser too. No more wondering about missing influences.
The Ideabox ER now displays anonymous author and editor tags for ideas with multiple edits. This should probably make ER talk less confusing.

Halloween Festival
Now for the main event! Halloween descends upon Godville with all its spooky glory. Beyond the simple treats (hordes of seasonal monsters, hungry tribbles and that pesky spookiness aura), check out:

Glowing pumpkins — the main dish! Crack these open for random goodies, from bricks to relics
Undead monsters — these stubborn beasts need defeating twice to drop those glowing pumpkins and other stuff
Pumpkinized trophies — traders go absolutely wild for emoji merchandise, paying 700% of usual
Colossal Beasties — these are so enormous that they are visible right from the sail start. It also has a manimal or fenimal, so go ahead if you dare
The Ghost Town at the 13th milestone — it ░░░░░░ everything in fog, including your hero’s ░░░░░ and parts of this sentence

The spooky festivities last three days. Happy haunting!

Sea Change

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Wed, 17 Sep 2025 12:41:03 +0100

Greetings, divine beings! A colossal update awaits your attention.

Shrooms and Reactions
It’s mushroom season across Godville! Throughout September, heroes stumble upon these fungi everywhere. While your champions are too cautious to sample them, you certainly can force a taste-test and enjoy some chaotic results in the form of free auras.

Bonus feature: all seasonal events now unlock special chat reactions. This month it’s obviously 🍄, but stay tuned to another 10+ Godville yearly events.

Mobile App Updates
We’ve updated our mobile apps with a long-awaited feature: four different font sizes to choose from. Pretty essential for a text-based game, we’d say.

iOS update is ~~waiting for Apple approval~~ here. The Android app update rolled out a few days ago and it also received major under-the-hood changes to comply with Google latest platform requirements, so it might feel somewhat different. Make sure you’re running the latest version to avoid glitches.

Fresh Content
Once again we spent weeks diving deep into your Ideabox submissions, choosing the juicy ones. Now we are glad to add hundreds of fresh earthly news and sailing entries into the game. Thanks to all contributors and tireless ER editors!

Sea Leviathans
Now for the truly massive part of this update. While gods were busy with dungeon forging, they made the tectonics a bit unstable. Seas now bubble with geological eruptions, revealing suspicious abyssal rifts.

So now relic-hunting gods can trigger underwater explosions there, raising entire islands from the depths! These hold ancient hints pointing to the true horrors of the seas: the leviathans.

Oh, the leviathans! Legend says one deity had to personally destroy such a beast. No wonder – Leviathans sport three-word names, making them much more powerful than regular beasties and even granting them special abilities. Don’t expect an easy fight, and definitely don’t wake them unprepared! The reward, however, makes it worthwhile: a new relic for your Reliquary and TWO treasure bags for each.

Fair warning: this feature targets active gods with fully upgraded arks. Heroes lacking a full set of souls won’t be able to activate rifts, though at least everything else in the seas remains the same.

Relics Pantheon
Finally, please welcome the new Reliquity pantheon! Here you can track global relic-collecting progress and measure your hoarding skills against fellow deities.

Living Relics

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Sat, 2 Aug 2025 13:27:47 +0100

Greetings, seasoned deities! This update for those of you who’ve already done it all – built a temple and an ark, caught all pairs, crafted a boss, wrote a book, collected souls, and even opened shops. Congratulations, your divine boredom has ended.

Discovering Relics
While sitting in their shops and peddling wares, heroes have stumbled upon mysterious artifacts from the pre-game era. These relics emit relic radiation that affects a hero in peculiar ways.

Now you can equip these oddities in the brand new 8th equipment slot, giving your hero wonderfully bizarre effects. For example, the Flattery relic makes heroes address you with flowery eloquence, the Royalties one generates gold from every diary entry, the Overtime one extends deadlines for side jobs… Six relic types are here for you to experiment, with more to come.

Each effect varies in strength and lasts only a day or two – though nothing stops you from equipping relics purely for aesthetic reasons. But first, relics must be examined: check a new “Relics” button under the Shop to observe the process and eventually equip nice ones.

Collecting Relics
Since relics prove so sacred and valuable, every hero-trader has simultaneously reached the same brilliant conclusion: collect more! They’re starting to fill Reliquaries — specialized god-approved containers holding up to 3000 relics each. Because what’s the point of having mystical artifacts if you can’t hoard them obsessively for your deity?

This becomes your hero’s next obsession, an epic goal lasting a year or two. A special new achievement marks this collecting frenzy, proving your hero’s commitment is more serious than their usual attention span. It also gives you, their deity, that satisfying long-term project feeling and something new to look forward to.

Heroes get relics through multiple ways:

Trading: every day or two your hero works the shop counter, bartering junk for relics. No divine intervention required, though blessing speeds things up by roughly 25% (if you already have an active blessing, it will autoswitch from souls to relics).
Side Jobs: help your champion with contracts to earn relic rewards. The usual rules apply – finish within 24 hours for better payouts.
Sea Exploration: Coming in next updates, along with a new relic-related pantheon. Stay tuned!

As always, you control your level of involvement: if you’re in no rush, your hero will gradually collect everything all by themself. Play at your own pace and enjoy the journey.

Don’t forget to update your mobile app: App Store or Google Play.

Spoilers Ahead

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Tue, 17 Jun 2025 12:01:34 +0100

Quest-ceptional news, dear deities! After decades of heroes dragging through meaningless quests for cheap fame and dubious rewards, it’s high time for an upgrade.

Quest Rewards
Starting today, regular quest rewards are getting a makeover. They are still random, but:

A wider variety of arguably useful rewards will appear more frequently
Temple owners will find fewer useless bricks cluttering their reward pool
New reward types include a random collectible resource (like wood, creature or glyphs) and assorted loot bags

Quest Spoilers
Introducing the newest activatable artifacts: spoilers! These mystical items let your hero peek at the end of their quest storyline before reaching it. Curious about the reward? Now you can know in advance.

Even more, if you activate a spoiler when the outcome is already known, it’ll actually change the promised reward to something else entirely.

For epic, mini, and special quests, spoilers simply add progress. Best of all? Activation is completely free.

Don’t want to touch anything? It’s ok too, heroes will occasionally figure out their quest reward from the start, noting it right in the quest text.

Quest Stuff
In classic Godville absurdity, the quest text length now loosely reflects its duration (only for regular quests). Quest description is too wordy? Prepare for a long journey. Short and sweet? Your hero will get it done soon.

On a related note, now it’s easier to gain some quest progress – via miracles and other deity means. But only up to 99%, the last step a true hero should always do themselves.

As a nice icing for this update cake, we’ve added almost two hundred brand new quests and a bunch of new quest ending phrases. Now your hero can waste time in novel ways.

Two More Things
A helpful improvement: boss push-notifications now include their abilities as well.

Finally, “Know Your Monster” is back with a hundred new pics! Every day, our newspaper will publish a monster drawing — guess its name and watch your hero to receive something special.

Godville Hits 15

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Sat, 10 May 2025 12:10:58 +0100

Well, look at that. Fifteen years. Godville officially turns 15 today.

A decade and a half of heroes doing… whatever it is they do, and gods watching whenever they remember to. Time flies when you’re letting someone else do all the work.

Honestly, reaching this milestone is incredible, and it’s entirely thanks to you, the amazing community of deities. Whether you’re a seasoned veteran who remembers the primordial diaries or a newcomer still figuring out which end of the hero goes forward, thank you for being part of this wonderfully weird journey.

The 15-year adventure in figures that speak for themselves:

Heroes Created: Over 1.6 million! That’s a lot of diary pages.
Monsters Smited: Over 16 BILLION. The monster insurance industry has never recovered.
Ideas Submitted: 796000, while 52000 somehow actually made it into the game.
Game Updates: 178! Nearly monthly for 15 years – we’ve been busy.
Server Status: Surprisingly stable, never went down for more than a few hours.
Two-Dev Team Status: Burned out and re-ignited more times than we can count. It’s our natural cycle now.

And you know the drill. Anniversaries mean goodies!

First, free charges. Congratulate your hero with a godvoice and get a nice pack of godpower charges. Do this daily for three days to maximize your divine bounty.

Second, free blessing. For the next 30 days, activating the Blessing costs absolutely nothing, no charges required. As a reminder, blessing helps your hero collect their most-needed resource faster on their own. _{(Got one running already? No problem – just activate the next one for free before 11:00 UTC on June 9th.)}

Happy 15th Anniversary, Godville! It’s been a wild, unpredictable, and genuinely fun ride thanks to all of you. Here’s to many more years of divine watch and heroic absurdity.

Cheers,
Godville Devs.

Live is Live

noemail@noemail.org (Godville) — Fri, 21 Mar 2025 13:03:13 GMT

Greetings, oh patient deities! We came with a fresh update, and dear gods, we’ve crammed in a lot.

Todo Widget
Feast your eyes on the brand new widget for newspaper-related activities (#1 in the screenshot below). It gently reminds you of your (lack of) commitment to the newspaper things – bingo, coupon, crossword, “know your monster”, etc.

And with inventory widget you can now see if there’s an activatable trophy in hero’s bag, indicated by the @ symbol (#2).

Live Activity
The iOS app now features a “Live Activity” during adventures when the app is not active, graciously displaying the turn number and hero’s health in the phone’s top (#3) and on the lock screen (#4).

We hope that this will make adventuring just a tad bit more convenient, especially while juggling several apps at once – you know, the usual deity multitasking. Of course, you can disable this via your phone’s settings or fine-tune in the game. Live Activity for each adventure type shows only if corresponding notification is enabled.

Sailing Helper
A small but surprisingly handy thingy added to seas. When the ark is low on supplies, the sea around it now displays a dotted ring – it’s a visual reminder of the ark’s health and maximum travel distance with current supplies.

To ensure everything in this update works properly, please update your game app: iOS or Android.

New Content
We spent another few weeks in the dreaded Ideabox, overwhelmed with your submissions. Now we’re quite pleased to add 500 new ideas into the game! Look out for new monsters, loot, equipment and hundreds of diary phrases. Hats off to all the contributors, and the ER crew for somehow making sense of it all.

Spring Cleaning
It’s March already, which means it’s time for the traditional “spring cleaning” event. In this forum topic, you can suggest deletions or revisions to any in-game text that you find poorly written, unpleasant or otherwise in need of improvement.