It’s almost been five whole months since my last article was posted on this site. Much has happened. As I recently revealed in a recent post on my personal site, I’m not going back to Westminster Theological Seminary next year.

I’m a young man. At the time of this writing I am a week or so past my 23rd half-birthday. I have spent every year of my life in school since I was 4. I’ve never had a job with a consistent income. I’ve never made more than $13,000 in a given year. I’m a very, very young man.

I still remember the phone call with my mom almost six months ago where I was asking them to pay my rent again for the umpteenth time (it’s a real word, I promise). She finally said, “Paul, your father and I were going to wait until you were hear to talk to you, but we just can’t do this anymore. We can’t be paying for all this stuff for your brother and you and survive. We need you to work more and take on some of these responsibilities.”

I though she was joking. I thought she was just frustrated then and it would pass and I would just stay in school as I’d always done – as I’d always planned. But she wasn’t. A couple of weeks later I had to face the fact that my plans I’d had since seventh grade had been turned completely upside down. Then the job search began. Long story short, I’ve got a real job now, I’m only going to take one class next semester (a counseling class), and probably won’t ever finish seminary. And I’m really okay with that. I never thought I would be. How did this change happen?

As I was thinking about this this morning, I remembered something one of my old pastors once said concerning the seemingly-never-ending relationship saga of the single twenty-something: “you know, the identity of ‘the One’ is something best discerned through clarity and hindsight rather than ambiguity and attempted foresight.” In other words, it’s better to live your life faithfully, trusting that the person you marry is and has always been “the One”, rather than trying to figure out who that is and then marrying them. The will of God is an ever unfolding present reality unfolding in real-time far more than it is some ethereal “path” we must figure out and make sure we are walking. You may find yourself in seminary one year, and not the next. That is just reality. Prepare your heart to be willing to let go of anything.

So, how do we wade through the murky waters of discerning the call to stay or go? How do you know if this is also the path for you? Ultimately, I can’t give you any 1-2-3’s, I can only tell you what hindsight and clarity have afforded me in respect to this event in my life. After the nail was placed into the coffin of Seminary Year 2, it felt as if scales fell from my eyes and I finally saw how this made total sense and how this was God’s love, mercy, and gift to me. See if any of these ideas resonate, and if so, “examine yourselves” (how do you like that misapplication? Kind of like Hosea in Matthew, huh? Sorry. Different post at a different time.)

First, financially I saw in hindsight that my situation was just not sustainable. This was God’s mercy to me practically. Seeing the trajectory I was on with school, work, expenses, and finances, I don’t know why I was so blind to the fact that I couldn’t go on like this for three more years, over thirty thousand more dollars of debt, and no real work experience (and therefore no marketable skills) to help me get a significant job. Oh wait, my plan had been to go into a five (more) year-long Master’s-Ph.D. program for Psychology, eventually putting me at age 31 with God knows how much debt and never having had a job more prestigious than waiting tables. Maybe some people could make it work. I could not. So ask yourself: Has God clearly granted me the resources necessary to be a good steward of both seminary and life – to do both well and restfully?

Second, theology. This was God’s mercy emotionally. I realized (once more only in hindsight) just how frustrated I had been at the theological differences I have with my seminary. I realized the direction the seminary is going in is one that, frankly, I didn’t want to be associated with five years from now. I’ve realized that those things matter, especially if you are going to a confession-run institution. This really helped make the decision emotionally easier for me. I’m really not going to miss the place that much. I will miss the people, the talks, and a few of the professors that are on their way out there, but not the institution. Ask yourself: Is it seminary per se that I am enjoying at this particular institution or just the people, readings, and a few conversations; and if the latter, would you miss the actual classroom environment if you lost that one thing but still had the others? Where do you disagree with your seminary and do these differences cause more friction than growth there?

Thirdly, I saw much of my growth intellectually stunted. Or maybe just humbled. Or maybe I just matured some. I don’t know. This was, therefore, God’s mercy to me intellectually. This aspect just now came to me and I haven’t really thought through it much. All I know is that at the beginning of seminary I was working on three albums of music, two plays, four books or so, and many hopeful journal articles. Now – all those have more or less fallen by the wayside. I was just too mentally exhausted by the absurdly superfluous and too-lengthy ad nauseam Francis Turretin readings and subsequent reading summaries we were forced to do all semester. I used to have big plans and visions for how to reach the world with the kingdom of God and how I could do that with psychology. Seminary was supposed to help fuel and facilitate these things. Some classes did (especially first semester), but then my thinking waned in many areas. Seminary is supposed to stimulate us to think in ways we never have and then apply Biblical understandings to these things. Ask yourself: Is this causing me to branch out and take intellectual challenges? It is bearing intellectual fruit, or is it just constant sowing and planting and tilling with no reaping or return? Is it causing intellectual ruts to form?

Lastly, sin. As I said earlier, I am a very young man. We have come full-circle. My immaturity has been revealed to me so forcefully in this season. I am merely a shadow of the man I was six months ago. I am more steeped in pride and arrogance than ever in spite of being more aware of that fact more now than ever. The grace and mercy of our loving Savior has shown me deep fear of man issues I am only now wrestling with. I’m realizing more and more of my life has been built upon the need for affirmation and to be built up by the people I make my idols. Seminary was yet another means by which I was trying to prop myself up. Everything both good and bad that I had ever placed my identity in has been taken from me: being an academic, in grad school, a successful writer, a well-known thinker, a culturally astute and well-informed individual in the midst of people that aren’t. Now I’m just a seminary drop-out who’s a counselor in suburban Philadelphia who can barely write blog post.

And this is God’s mercy to me spiritually. It’s incredible. I have never felt more my need and dependency for the One for Whom my soul was made, and for the first time perhaps, I’m tasting the Christian life of repentance I’ve only heard of all my life. I feel so weak, so inadequate, so frail – and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I am more in love with my Savior, restful in His cross, and joyful in His presence than ever, though it’s not in the cheap light fare sort of way. Ask yourself: Is seminary still beautiful? Am I quicker to repent now than two weeks ago? Is not just the workload, but the actual content, revealing my need for Christ? Could I work just as hard at other more fruitful endeavors, perhaps? Am I crying during church anymore? Do I still pray? Do I see my good and God’s glory in this presently?

And maybe that’s the point of this article. More than giving some principles to determine one’s place in seminary. Maybe it’s to encourage you that wherever God has you, it is to this end: that you might see your need for Him and thereby be shaped into His image and your joy. Take heart in a Sovereign, sanctifying God who loves you and is working all things to your good. His will is first and foremost your sanctification and you reflecting His Image more than it is that you go to seminary.

Hold all things with a very loose hand except for the broken body and blood of your slain and risen Lord – hold that very, very dear. Seminary, or no Seminary.

Aside from RTS and Westminster Bookstore, I’ve had trouble finding any other stores that actively use Twitter.  A whole bunch of publishers have started using it, like Zondervan and IVP.  But if you know of any seminary bookstores that do, please leave a comment with a link.  I’d appreciate it!

Christians in rural settings have some unique challenges that Christians in urban settings might not face. For example, most churches in rural areas belong to mainline denominations and are aging and dying (literally and spiritually). It is very difficult to find a gospel-centered church within a reasonable distance. Some of my extended family lives in very rural areas of southwestern Ontario and face this challenge.  Also, for those who are part of healthy churches in rural areas, it is very difficult to grow the church through evangelism because there is both a much smaller population to draw from and a steady decline in population as people migrate to the cities.

Though I haven’t read the book and don’t know of its worth, I’m glad to see that there is at least someone out there thinking through the challenges local churches in rural areas face. While there is good reason to focus on urban churches, as we do today, we need to make sure it doesn’t become an either/or. Rural areas may be becoming depopulated, but the need and the mission of the Church remains. Earlier, when I considered the call to pastoral ministry, I often imagined myself ministering in a rural setting. Still today, when driving through the countryside or even seeing a picture of a rural church building, the issue comes to mind.

Anyway, these were just a few thoughts I wanted to jot down. What do you think? Have you ever considered or engaged in ministry in a rural context?  What are the challenges and obstacles?

So, here’s the deal. I’m looking to hire an assistant to help me with various project that I have underway. Now, the job will pay $10 an hour, but it will NOT be full time. At best, it might be part-part-time. Basically, if you’re looking to make a little side dough to take you guy or gal out on a date night, or to buy a new game for you Wii, then this is for you.

So, here’s what I’m looking for:

• Computer and internet savvy
• Strong knowledge of WordPress
• Basic knowledge of Microsoft Excel
• Ability to navigate websites and find specific information
• Preferably a Mac user
• Knowledge and efficiency in editing images

Right now I have two projects that need to be done and, depending on your performance and my ability to come up with more projects, there will be more work down the road.  For my projects I will give you details on what I want done and a realistic deadline for completion. Within those bounds you’re welcome to work when and how you want.

So, if this sounds intriguing and you’d like to be considered for the job, send an email to ryan@goingtoseminary.com. Make the subject: I can COpy and Paste. In the email, all I want you to include is 2 sentences telling me why I should hire you and one link to any seminary that is on twitter (the link should go to their twitter page).

So, there you have it. It isn’t exactly a thrifty tip for everyone, but it might put a few bucks in someone’s pocket.

No doubt the circumstances surrounding each student’s time in seminary differ. One can look across the class and see an age range from 23 year-olds to some in their 50’s. Many enter seminary with vast experience in ministry, whereas others enter still wet behind the ears. To the degree that the circumstances differ from person to person, I’m sure the answers to the question above would correspondingly vary.

For instance, an individual who has much life experience, whether in ministry or not, might not see his or her time in seminary as being in limbo (i.e. an indefinite state). They may still have a career allowing only part-time status. This more “complex” life might then cause seminary to seem as just another part of the weekly routine. On the flip-side, there may be a student fresh out of undergrad who has zero “real world” experience and, therefore, might experience his time in seminary as an intermediate period before he enters into his vocation as a minister. In this “limbo” he may work a part-time job in order to support what he considers to be his “real job” – his education.

There are of course other scenarios that could describe others’ situations, but the implications of whether or not a student sees themselves in an intermediate period and/or in limbo affects (either positively or negatively) how they approach his or her studies, the jobs they work (ministry related or not), and other important pieces to his or her daily life.

If one views his or her time in seminary as an in between stage (i.e. in between undergrad or a previous job and being a pastor) they may approach life in the here-and-now as if it can’t be lived fully. In other words, because what he is doing now isn’t where he’s ultimately going to be, then what he’s doing now somehow restricts him to live the quality of life he may anticipate he’ll be able to live once he becomes a pastor.
It’s almost like a long car ride to your vacation destination. Some may consider that car ride as a mere means to get to where they really want to be; therefore, the car ride is boring and/or loathed over. However, one can choose to see the car ride as an opportunity to be on vacation just as much as they will be on vacation once they get to the beach. The ride doesn’t have to be less lived, or enjoyed.

In essence, as this is considered, seeing clearly how we understand (and therefore handle) our time in seminary might produce some positive change to how we do life in general. It is not presumed here that all seminarians are victims to these kinds of thoughts and/or behaviors, but given the nature of how people in this culture commonly do life, surely there are some that fall into this pattern to some extent.

As much as it is true that attending seminary is largely a time of preparation for a future ministry of some kind (a means to an end), it is equally true that the here-and-now (including all of our obligations and relationships) should be approached with a full intentionality that allows us to be content with the life we are living.

Perhaps this boils down to the question: How do we handle seminary as a “means” and yet not error in taking the training lightly on the one hand, or on the other, allowing it to get in the way of the rest of our lives? Where’s the balance?

Now, the scholarship is sponsored by Logos Bible Software, so don’t be be surprised that in order to apply you have to watch a 9 minute video demonstrating their software. Compared to writing an essay, I’d say this is a pretty easy application process.  That and, well, Logos is a great tool for seminarians (see Terry’s review of Logos Scholar’s Gold).

So, head on over and apply today.

Disclosure: If you  didn’t know, I work for Logos. But who cares… we’re talking about a $1,000 schoarship that only requires you to watch a video in order to apply. If you’re in seminary and looking for scholarships, you’d be silly not to apply.

1. Membership in a local church is necessary for growth. Our regular contact with other Christians is one of the primary ways in which God sanctifies us.  If we are not attending one church and surrounding ourselves with the same people on a weekly basis – people who know us well enough to help us grow through encouragement and, when necessary, chastisement – then we are seriously undermining this marvelous means of grace.  To be clear, I’m talking about church discipline here.  I believe that church discipline takes place, not only when church leaders confront sin in their midst (both privately and publicly), but when regular people in the church encourage the growth of one another.
2. The American church scene today is woefully consumeristic. Most thoughtful Christians I have met have a sense that this is true; but David Wells drives the point home in his book The Courage to be Protestant.  The point is that churches that are both rooted in Scripture and connected with the historic faith have much to offer American culture (or any culture, for that matter).  When we jump from church to church, we force the Church to serve our desires.  Even worse, we exchange the truth they’re hearing from the pulpit for a lie – the lie that God exists for us.  It’s as if we skewered the gospel and held it up like a white flag to the culture saying, “You’ve won!”  I can only speak from my own experience, but I would guess that this is a problem (to varying degrees) in much of the Western Church.

So, now that we’ve established to need to be part of a church, what church should you choose?  Let me begin by emphasizing my hope that these following points do not tempt anyone reading to leave any church at which they might already be members.  That would fly right in the face of point number 2 above.  But, if you are in a place where you need to find a church (having just moved to attend seminary, perhaps), then keep the following in mind:

1. Try to choose a church near where you live. This is just good advice whether or not you’re in seminary.  There is no practical way to be seriously involved in a church if you have to drive 45 minutes to get there.  If you’re in a place where there are a lot of options, proximity should be fairly high on the list of factors that helps you choose a particular church.  I sense that this is going to be a problem in younger, sprawling cities more so than in smaller communities or older cities that came of age before mass transit and the automobile.  After all, in a smaller community there may be only one church to choose from (hopefully the leadership there is faithful to the gospel!).  This is still worthy of mention, though.
2. Find a church that matches your vision of community. I like churches that encourage a close community spirit within their congregations.  The church I go to now has a lot of young, single adults.  Many of the young men are getting together to rent houses or large apartments, and likewise with the women.  This also complements my first suggestion.  It won’t make much difference if you choose to live near a church if everybody else lives 45 minutes away!  Others would prefer to sacrifice some community closeness for a more serious approach to worship, and I think that would fall under this category (worship is, after all, a community event).  You will likely find, upon reflecting here, that you have a lot of preferences about what you would like to see.  Let me encourage you to expect compromise here.  It’s not a bad thing.  Growing in grace means being able to be gracious with others, including others in the Church.
3. And finally, if you are in seminary, always avoid the temptation to replace church relationships with seminary relationships. This is not at all to say that relationships with professors and students at seminary are not important.  They will be extremely important in helping you solidify a vision for your future ministry.  This is simply to say that if you’re not engaged in a church, then you’re missing something.  Involvement in a worship community both as a participant and, where appropriate, as a leader, is paramount with respect to your growth as a Christian.

There are other things that could be said here.  If you’re in seminary, would kind of church would you like to pastor upon graduation (assuming that is your calling)?  You may want to factor that into your decision and choose a church with similar sensibilities.  That way, you can get some face time with your pastor and potentially score yourself an internship.  Even if that does not work out, it’s very likely you’ll see enough of the inner workings of that church to form a better picture of your own ministry down the road.

Keeping these points in mind, you should be better equipped to make a wise decision concerning your next church.  As seminarians, this approach will complement to approach you take toward ministry within the local church once you’re there.  Remember, our goal as ministers is to work for the good of our congregations.  As I hope I made clear in ‘Balancing Church and Seminary,’ that work ought to start now – even with choosing a church.  Let’s help build healthy, stable, faithful churches that love the gospel and love others.

However, there is another type of training, which may, in fact, be the more important of the two. For everyone in seminary, on their way to seminary (like myself) or considering seminary, we must not forget Paul’s exhortation in verse 7: “train yourself in godliness.” [why? verse 8]: “for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” I constantly forget, and thus must constantly be reminded, that scriptural and doctrinal knowledge is not an end in itself. The point of our sanctification (growth in godliness) is not that we would merely know more, but that we would be “transformed into the same image“ (2 Corinthians 3:18) as our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Scriptural and doctrinal knowledge is but one means to that end.

How can we tell if we have turned theological training (and thus our motivation in pursuing seminary) into the end itself?

I just recently began reading How People Change by Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp. The very first chapter of the book, “The Gospel Gap” called my attention back to 1 Timothy 4:6-16. They essentially discuss how it is possible that there are so many people that know the Lord, “but whose lives fail to produce the expected fruit of faith” (p.3). Lane and Tripp write, “Often there is a vast gap in our grasp of the gospel. It subverts our identity as Christians and our understanding of the present work of God. This gap undermines every relationship in our lives, every decision we make, and every attempt to minister to others. Yet we live blindly, as if the hole were not there” (p.2).

What I found incredibly helpful (and pertinent to “training in godliness”) was how they began to describe different ways in which we fill these holes. Lane and Tripp assert, “Whenever we are missing the message of Christ’s indwelling work to progressively transform us, the hole will be filled by a Christian lifestyle that focuses more on externals than on the heart” (p.7). As I began to read their descriptions of different sorts of Christian externals, one stood out above all the rest in my mind. If you are a twenty-something Calvinist that has Driscoll, Piper, and Chandler on podcast, has a bunch of blog subscriptions, then this one might catch your attention as well (hey, it could just be me!)–Lane and Tripp call it “Biblicism”:

“John is a biblical and theological expert. His theological library includes rare, antique Christian volumes, and he is always seeking to buy first editions. John frequently uses phrases like “biblical worldview,” “theologically consistent.” and “thinking like a Christian.” He loves the Bible (which is a very good thing), but there are things in John’s life that don’t seem to fit.

Despite his dedicated study of Christianity, John isn’t know for being like Christ. He has a reputation for being proud, critical, and intolerant of anyone who lacks his fine-grained understanding of the faith. John endlessly critiques his pastor’s sermons and unnerves Sunday school teachers when he enters the room.

In John’s Christianity, communion, dependency, and worship of Christ have been replaced by a drive to master the content of Scripture and systematic theology. John is a theological expert, but he is unable to live by the grace he can define with such technical precision. He has invested a great deal of time and energy mastering the Word, but he does not allow the Word to master him. In biblicism, the gospel is reduced to a mastery of biblical content and theology.” (p.9)

Lane and Tripp do not make this leap, but I will. What if the first line of “biblicism” read: “John is in seminary”? I pray that my name would not be interchangeable with John’s, and yet I know this describes the type of Christian “externalism” that I move towards at times. I pray that I am not at this point right now, but I know that if I base my salvation on “rightly knowing” about the cross of Christ, and not the cross itself, that this is the form of self-righteousness will haunt me. I can not say this with any certainty, but I wonder if this might describe the struggle that many seminarians will and do face.

We must constantly remember–I must constantly remember–that training “in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine” and training “in godliness” must not be separated. All the knowledge in the world is useless if we are not conformed to Christ’s image in the process. Preparing to enter seminary in the fall, I often recall Jesus’ words to the Jews in John 5:39-40: “You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.” It is a scary thought indeed to be able to claim a great deal of biblical knowledge and still not truly know Jesus Christ, much less sit under His Lordship. As Lane and Tripp phrase it–as a future seminarian myself–I must constantly allow the Word to master me, as I invest a great deal of time and energy mastering the Word.

I urge us all to take to heart Paul’s exhortation: “Keep a close watch on yourself (godliness) and on the teaching (good doctrine). Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:16). Our knowledge of Scripture does not cleanse us of our sin, only Christ’s blood poured out for us on the cross has that power. I pray that we would not simply intellectually grasp this, but that we would know it in our hearts, and it would transform us “from one degree of glory to another” (2 Cor. 3:18) into the image of our Lord.