Everyone wants to be a genius, but no one wants to be called a nerd.

Everyone wants to be outstanding, but no one’s willing to stand out.

Earning the attention you deserve will be the hardest, scariest, most grueling thing you do. But it will also be the most rewarding.

Photo credit: Nina Matthews (Creative Commons)

The typical tale of an outstanding person

I once met a girl named Patricia. She wanted to live life to the full. When everyone else was playing those “reindeer games” she was being Rudolph. She was standing out.

This usually earned her a few rolled eyes and jokes cracked at her expense, but that didn’t bother her.

Then one day, Patricia stood up when everyone else was sitting down. She did the bold, courageous, amazing thing. And everyone admired her for it.

Suddenly, Patricia wasn’t the outcast, anymore. She was the leader. And there was a crowd of people standing behind her — literally — ready to go wherever she would lead them.

The cost of courage

It takes courage to go where no one else has gone. It takes the heart of a pioneer and the mind of an engineer — to set out for the Promised land and build the road as you go.

To do something this creative — something that’s never been done before — you have to be a little crazy. Fortunately, those who are, end up changing the world.

Of course, like all new endeavors, this involves risk. There’s a cost to doing great things.

To be a leader in today’s world, you have to be brave enough to wander off the worn path and make a new one. And no one will be walking with you those first few steps. So be prepared.

It’s lonely

There’s a reason why most startups fail and most books never get finished: Being a leader is hard.

Which is precisely why we need you to do it. Why we need you to do what so few are willing to do: to be different. To take the initiative. To courageously go where no one’s gone before.

So what are you waiting for?

“An engraved invitation?!” as my dad used to say to the parked cars at the green traffic light. Green means go. Time to be outstanding.

*Photo credit: Nina Matthews (Creative Commons)

This is the reality every communicator or leader must face. Sooner or later, you hit a plateau. You start to feel invisible. And you begin to wonder if you ever had any influence at all.

Photo Credit: Gerald Pereira (Creative Commons)

What we want to do is get louder. To pull out the bullhorn. Shout from the rooftops. But in reality, we need to do the opposite.

What about self-promotion?

Occasionally, we’ll see someone benefit from short-term profiteering.

Over time, though, most self-promoters don’t last. Not when you pit them up against the true artists — those who have a message worth sharing. Their messages always ring hollow in comparison to these people.

It’s almost always better to have someone else toot your horn. To earn the spotlight instead of demanding it.

But how do you do that?

Try something different

When you have an idea to spread, don’t give in to the temptation to rush it. To force a connection or over-promote the message. Instead, take your time making it really, really good.

If you’re an artist with something to say — something that would make the world a better place — try a more subtle, counter-intuitive means of finding an audience:

SHUT UP.

Say less. Be obscure. Hide your brilliance so that people have to come find it.

If you need ideas, take a page from the Led Zeppelin marketing playbook. Defy the critics by making your work hard to find. Make it so good that when it does get found (and all great art eventually does), people will marvel at it.

You want them to be delighted, not disappointed. And that’s exactly what will happen if you resort to hype: people will be let down.

The fear

The problem is we’re afraid. Of never getting discovered. Of waiting our whole lives to be acknowledged.

But this isn’t middle school — why are we waiting to be picked?

You should be creating world-class works of art right now. Because you can, not because someone is watching you.

If you will learn this discipline — to show up when no one else does — you will do what most people can’t. You’ll be able to find pleasure in your work without any extrinsic benefits.

And that’s what we’re all looking and hoping for.

The platform of now

Whatever you’re doing right now, you’re building a platform. You’re connecting with people and doing work that someone is noticing.

It may not seem significant, but that’s your choice. You can make it matter, or you can make it mediocre.

Whether you realize it or not, you are broadcasting a message. People are watching you, paying attention to your every move and word. I promise.

They see your tweets and blog posts and Instagram photos. We all see them. I know it doesn’t feel like it sometimes, and that’s what makes this work so dangerous. You may feel invisible, but you’re not.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite — we’re all waiting for you to show us something.

The question is: Are you spending most of your time on the work or the hype?

*Photo credit: Gerald Pereira (Creative Commons)

And this flies in the face of how people actually become friends.

Photo credit: LordKhan (Creative Commons)

True friendship only happens when people start sharing their lives with one another. Inevitably, one person will upset the other. This is what happens when you put flawed humans in a room together: they start breaking things. Usually each other.

But something beautiful happens when we push through that initial discomfort and offense and learn to forgive each other. Intimacy is formed. Trust is established.

A decade or so ago, we started doing something we’ve never done before. We started making friends with people we had never met. Sure, we used to do pen pals and long-distance relationships, but we’ve never had a 24/7 shared connection as is now available to us, thanks to the Internet.

Something odd happens with this heightened level of intimacy without commitment. People get sensitive. Some turn into jerks.

Because I know what you ate for breakfast or what TV show you watched last night, I feel like I know you. We are connected to each other — and sometimes not always superficially. We may share legitimate, real-life interactions. As a result, we feel like we really understand each other. And maybe we do, in some way.

But the problem comes when one of us says something to get on the other’s nerves. And trust me: it’s going to happen.

Then, we are in a pickle. Because it’s easy to ignore people online, to play passive-aggressive and give the cold shoulder. And the worst part is they have no idea.

It’s easier to write off online relationships than offline ones. And this scares me. Because I have a few of these web-based friendships. And I want them to count. I want this connection to matter — as much as it can.

What if we didn’t walk away when things got hard? What if we pressed into the mess of relationship and got to know each other, warts and all? Is that too much to ask?

I’m not talking about another ridiculous network or campaign. I’m just talking about buy-in. What if we were really committed? What if I cared enough to stick it out — even after that dumb tweet or stupid status update you wrote?

Well, then we might actually be friends.

*Photo credit: LordKhan (Creative Commons)

The only way to do great work is to love what you do.
—Steve Jobs

Not too long ago, I was traveling and came across a rude flight attendant. This woman was clearly jaded about her job. Nonetheless, she taught me something important about doing meaningful work.

The attendant was curt and sarcastic with passengers, responding to drink requests with a quick reply: “Yes, I heard you the first time.” She never smiled or seemed sincere. More than once, I overheard her complaining to another attendant. The experience left a mark on me.

Nobody likes being around people who hate their jobs. We all need to love what we do, or go work somewhere else. It’s really that simple.

Photo credit: Bas Bogers (Creative Commons)

We can learn a thing or two from these types of people: the snappy flight attendant, the disgruntled Walmart cashier, the bitter toll booth operator. We’ve all encountered someone like this — angry, frustrated workers who make their jobs worse by complaining about them.

It’s not fun, is it? However, these observations can serve as lessons for what not to do.

When nobody cares what you do

Flight attendants are used to nobody listening to them. They’re used to boring people. They probably even bore themselves. Going through the same motions (instructions on crash landings and emergency exists) over and over again — I’m sure it’s easy to fall into a rut.

If you have a job like that, you may feel like you don’t have a choice. But that’s ridiculous. You always have a choice. You can always be creative. You can always make what you do matter — in some small or large way.

It’s time to call your own bluff — to face the lie that says what you do mandates how you do it. Time to remember that anything can be remarkable, if you have eyes to see.

It doesn’t have to be this way

On that same trip that I encountered the rude flight attendant, I read an interesting story.

In the book, Made to Stick, the Heath brothers tell of a real-life flight attendant who changed things up. While going through routine safety checks during pre-flight, she surprised travelers starting to tune her out with this announcement:

If I could have your attention for a few moments, we sure would love to point out these safety features.

If you haven’t been in an automobile since 1965, the proper way to fasten your seat belt is to slide the flat end into the buckle. To unfasten, lift up on the buckle and it will release.

And as the song goes, there might be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only six ways to leave this aircraft: two forward exit doors, two over-wing removable window exits, and two aft exit doors.

The location of each exit is clearly marked with signs overhead, as well as red and white disco lights along the floor of the aisle.

Made ya look!

You don’t have to give in to the temptation to believe your job is boring. It can be amazing — if you let it be.

How to make your work matter

It’s easy to get lost in day-dreaming of the perfect job, of waiting for something extraordinary to just come along. Sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with a little dreaming. But in doing this consistently, you miss out on the chance to be amazing now.

Want to do work that matters? Make your work matter. Do what the flight attendant did:

The post was rife with typos, bad vocabulary, poor grammar, and passive voice. The content was pretty vanilla, too. Sure, the writing was simple and conversational, as most blogs are. But nothing grabbed me.

It was something you would read and then soon forget. And that’s what made me sad: the writer could have really wowed the reader, and instead she chose not to.

What would have made the difference? If she had done her homework. If she had read more.

Photo credit: KC Toh (Creative Commons)

Different strokes for different folks

I don’t want to be disingenuous here; I’ve said before that there are different styles of writing. Some writing ought to be simple. You shouldn’t write pretentiously or with complicated vocabulary if the audience can’t relate to it. There is something to be said for a writer’s choice of style.

But if your writing is just fluff, the reader will realize it. Even if he isn’t an academician or grammar god. People can easily recognize bad writing. Which brings me to my point: writers need to be readers.

Good writers read

Writers need to read. A lot. Magazines. Books. Periodicals. And so on. They need to grasp the art of language, to appreciate the finer points of words. As they read, they should jot down ideas and capture thoughts as they come.

Nothing inspires a writer like reading someone else’s words.

As a writer, you’ll find yourself hitting plateaus and roadblocks when you aren’t reading. You’ll run out of words, if you’re not regularly being challenged through books and other material.

This is an important step to becoming a good writer. But for those of you who struggle to follow through with projects (like I do), this may discourage you. You may doubt you can do this. If so, remember:

It’s not about finishing

Many people read books to finish them. This is not always necessary. You can and should read books or articles just to read them — to glean new ideas, learn new words, and fall back in love with writing.

Don’t worry too much about completion; just start. Here’s how you can begin:

• Don’t read to accomplish anything. You don’t need to read to finish what you’re reading. Just read to read. Don’t neglect this discipline. Make reading a habit, a personal passion. And be sure to read widely.
• Study language. As a writer, words are your lifeblood. Read anything. Just get started. If you don’t know where to start, begin with these resources for writers (also, check out 1000 novels every writer should read).
• Read what others are reading. Not sure where to start? Read what other writers recommend. For more on this, check out the best books on writing. You might want also to read this article: Writers on Reading

Are you ready to get started — to become a student of words once again and fall back in love with the art of language? You’d better be. Because the bottom line is: You can’t be the writer you hope to be if you don’t read. Time to get started.

So what are you reading? Share in the comments.

*Photo credit: KC Toh

Who doesn't like free stuff?

Are you wanting to get better at blogging, but not sure where to start?

Sign up for my free course: Intentional Blogging.

I put together 12 of the most important lessons I know and put them into easy-to-read, weekly emails — all about blogging, all for free.

I get a lot of questions about blogging, so this is my attempt at answering them at once, helping you build a blog that makes a difference and creating something you can be proud of.

Intentional Blogging will teach you all the basics of writing online and getting the attention you deserve.

It will cover everything from picking what type of blog you should have to how to build an email list and network with other bloggers.

Here’s what one student said about it:

This course takes you by the nervous hand and leads you through all the racket about platform and format and numbers, to a place where you remember why you wanted to write a blog in the first place. And when you leave, you feel better equipped to do so than you’d ever dreamed you might be.

Did I mention it was free and that you can opt out at any time? What’re you waiting for?

Find out more and sign up here.

It’s that terribly-famous word we all hate to hear, especially when it comes to getting published:

“No.”

Everyone likes to get her way. But what happens when you don’t?

Photo credit: Dru Bloomfield (Creative Commons)

Ten months ago, I submitted my book proposal to a publisher. While I waited to hear back from them, I kept writing.

Then, I received word they wanted the completed manuscript. So I sent them the nine out of eleven finished chapters I had.

And then, I waited again — with excitement and anxiety — to hear back. While I waited, I kept writing.

Of course, I was ecstatic. As a writer, I had made it to the next phase of my career. A publisher was actually interested in my work. What more could I ask for?

Then I heard those awful words…

The manuscript does not match our mission.

I sat in silence. Shed a few tears. Processed my emotions. Then, I moved on.

What choice did I have? At that moment, I could do one of two things:

1. Be discouraged.
2. Be determined.

I chose the latter. In fact, I’m still choosing it. Since I started putting my work out there, I told myself that whatever answer I received, I would be okay with it. I would keep writing.

I hoped for the best, but prepared for the worst. And here’s what I learned from getting rejected by a publisher:

1. Never put all your eggs in one basket

I stopped with one publisher. Bad idea.

After seven months of waiting, I realized this wasn’t my smartest thing to do. So I started submitting my proposal to agents, as well.

Because I only chose to focus on that one shot, I lost a lot of other opportunities and time.

I can’t take back my mistake, but I can learn from it.

2. Count it an honor

Not everyone has the opportunity to hit the second round of publishing — going from freelance writer to published author.

The fact that a publisher was interested in my manuscript was a huge compliment.

It meant my proposal was written well enough to catch their interest, that I had something to show them.

It just wasn’t the right match.

If your writing is being considered for publication — a guest post, a book, a magazine article — count it an honor. Even if you don’t get it published, rejoice. Because it means you’re not sitting on the sidelines. You’re in the game.

3. Make the “ask” count

Before I started putting my book proposal together, I used Michael Hyatt’s eBook, Writing a Winning Non-Fiction Book Proposal. If you haven’t read it yet, go get it now!

This book gave me step-by-step directions on putting together the perfect proposal. Although I had to do a bit of tweaking to meet the publisher’s requirements, it was a huge help.

Your proposal or pitch is your first impression. If it stinks, that tells publishers your manuscript might smell worse. Spend some time (and money) to make your proposal the best you can.

This goes for any “ask” you will ever make, concerning your writing. Don’t waste a chance to impress. You may not get another.

4. Keep going

Being turned down by a publisher doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer. If you start thinking that way, you might as well quit writing and start collecting Beanie Babies. (Do people still do that?)

The fact is this: we writers are going to hear the word “no.” A lot. Get used to it.

Rejection is part of the creative life. Anyone who creates will experience it. But it’s not altogether bad. It’s what pushes us forward, if we let it.

Hearing “no” can keep you discouraged about your work, or it can keep you determined to succeed. The choice is yours.

What lessons have you learned from hearing the word “no?” Share in the comments.

Disclosure: Some of the above links are affiliate links.

*Photo credit: Dru Bloomfield (Creative Commons)

We don’t need more books. Our shelves are full of them. What we need are world-changing, revolutionary ideas.

Don’t assume you need a publisher and a book contract to change the world. You can start spreading your message now.

Photo credit: shutterhacks (Creative Commons)

“What’s in it for me?”

There’s too much information in our world; we are overwhelmed by it. So don’t talk to me about your book. Talk about what matters to me.

If you solve a problem, you win. You’ve got our attention. Now, we’re listening. Now, we’re willing to pay you for something. Until then, you’re just another voice.

If you challenge the status quo, people will rally around you. We want to be inspired; we’re yearning for it. This is what we’re all  looking for — not another book to buy.

If you will be inspiring, people will pay attention. You can then use that influence to sell a product, launch a program, or create an event. If you’re a writer, you can finally get published. You’ll probably actually sell some books, too — now that you have permission.

The hard part, though, is getting it.

You need permission

Once you find an idea that resonates with an audience, there is still work to be done.

The tough part is earning the right to be heard. You have to compete with all the other voices that are vying for people’s attention.

The best way to break through the noise is to give away something of value for free. If you can charge for it, don’t. Be generous. This will attract the trust of an audience, which is priceless.

Once you captivate an audience, you can lead them wherever you want.

How does this work?

Technically speaking, you trade a freebie (something like an eBook) for permission. This can be an email address, a Facebook “like,” or whatever medium suits your audience.

Then, use those contacts to create a list that allows you communicate with them, building a relationship over time. Eventually, you can offer your product, core message, or whatever.

This can’t be a bait-and-switch, though. The offering must be connected to the freebie. If you do this, people will buy from you and keep paying attention. If you keep adding value, you never lose. (Neither do they.)

Already have a book?

Great. You’re 10% there. Now, you just have to get people to care about it. Here’s how:

• Use an excerpt of your book and turn it into a powerful manifesto that spreads. Encourage early adopters by inviting advocates to give you feedback and shape the project.
• Share the manifesto with friends and influencers who will tell others.
• Through relationships, build a tribe around the idea. This is not about selling anything (not yet); it’s about changing the world.
• Participate in communities that care about your message. Be extremely generous towards them — offer free advice, helpful tips and opportunities, and free advance copies of the book for reviews.
• Reward people for paying attention. Keep their interest.

Once you’ve done all of the above, you’ve begun the hard work. Now you can lead your tribe. Of course, it helps to know where you’re going.

Whatever you do, don’t try to build a business by selling books. It doesn’t work like that. Publishing is, as Seth Godin says, an “organized hobby.” If you want to make money with it, forget about royalties and get an idea to spread.

How have you seen a manifesto used to spread ideas? What other models work? Share in the comments.

*Photo credit: shutterhacks (Creative Commons)

Photo credit: Phillie Casablanca (Creative Commons)

We usually do something small just the two of us and then see our friends, Phil and Michelle, the following weekend. Some years, this is the only time we get to see them, so we always try to make the most of it.

We do it right — dress up and go to some place fancy, indulge in the most amazing food we can find, usually stay up late and sleep in the next morning. We always end the evening with a molten chocolate cake (we insist on this, even if it’s not on the menu).

It’s a wonderful time of conversation, catching up, and enjoying life together. For us, Valentine’s Day is not about romance; it’s about friendship. After years of being married, I’m realizing how important this is.

A day for friends, not lovers

I met my friend Phil in Spain during a study abroad program in college. The experience changed our lives.

We don’t call each other by our real names anymore. I call him Felipe, and he calls me Pepe — the Spanish nicknames we went by when we lived in Seville. Our friendship has stood the test of time, despite distance and circumstance.

Every time we get together, we have a blast. We laugh and tell stories and listen to amazing music. Mostly though, we just enjoy each other’s company.

The time is always rich and full. I can’t explain it; we just feel more alive when we’re all together. It’s invigorating and encouraging — just what we need on V-Day.

The difference between lust and love

The other night, I went for a late-night run. When I returned at 11:30, my adrenaline was pumping and I couldn’t go to sleep. When a rerun of That 70s Show went to commercial, I was inundated with three consecutive ads for singles lines — all 900 numbers.

Apparently, some people (particularly big-busted, scantily-clad women) “just want to have fun” and aren’t looking for anything serious. Call it what you want — this was an invitation to engage in phone sex.

For a moment, my heart leaped. My pulse quickened, and I hesitated to change the channel. It was the same sensation I felt in high school or college when a pretty girl would glance at me in the hall. At the time, I thought it was love. Now, I know better.

I turned off the TV, crawled into bed, and cuddled my wife. I thought of that line from 500 Days of Summer:

She’s better than the girl of my dreams. She’s real.

And I smiled and fell asleep.

Sometimes, the things we desire — the things we think we love — are mere reflections of what we’re really seeking.

What is love? (Baby, don’t hurt me no more)

A lot of people get lonely on Valentine’s Day. Which is sad, really. Because what is love? It’s friendship — deep, long-lasting, intimate connection with someone who knows you better than anyone.

If you find yourself unhappy today — or better yet, tomorrow after the all the chocolates disappear and the flowers wilt — and that feeling of emptiness returns, consider this: Maybe you’re chasing the wrong thing.

Maybe love is closer than you think.

If you’re upset you don’t have a Valentine, you’re probably not looking hard enough. Go find a friend. Whether it’s the person you live with or someone on the other side of the world — find them.

After all, what better way to learn to love than to be with friends?

What do you think about friendship and love? Share your thoughts or a Valentine’s Day story in the comments.

*Photo credit: Phillie Casablanca (Creative Commons)

As we talked about creativity and work, I realized this was really good stuff. Especially for writers, creatives, and others who read this blog. So I asked him some questions, and he agreed to give away a few copies of his book (scroll down to find out more about the giveaway.)

Photo credit: charlestlee.com

Here’s my interview with Charles:

About the book

Jeff: What’s your new book about?

Charles: My book is entitled, Good Idea. Now What?. It’s a practical guide designed to help people implement their ideas better.

Divided into bite-sized chapters for busy entrepreneurs, Good Idea. Now What? covers the process for successfully building and launching a concept.

This book enables readers to move freely among subjects, from sparking inspiration, to making an effective plan, to collaborating, to branding, and more.

My hope is that people will read this and discover proven insights that will help their ideas become reality.

Jeff: There are a lot of books about the creative process that have come out recently; what makes this one unique?

Charles: There are definitely a growing number of idea books out there. Many of them dive deeply into one area of idea-making.

This book is unique in that it provides a grand aerial view of the overall process while providing bite-size actions steps in each section for implementing concepts well.

I see this book complimenting all the other idea books that are out there by providing a good grasp of the overall process while not sacrificing the “how to”s.

Furthermore, I wrote this for the on-the-go idea-maker in mind. It’s written in short, principle-driven chapters that are meant to be understood and evoke action. If you don’t need 10 stories to get the point, this book is for you! It’s designed to keep you moving.

Jeff: Why did you write it? What’s the story or inspiration behind it? What do you hope people will get out of it?

Charles: I wrote this book because I was getting tired of seeing far too many people who had great intention and passion that just didn’t have the process or skill-set to implement their ideas well.

My hope is that people will see that their ideas can become reality. It’s definitely hard work, but it’s work that can be done, especially if one truly believes that their idea is of value. I really want to limit the number of people who will ultimately take their “good idea” to the grave.

Breaking down the creative process

Jeff: Let’s talk process. How do you turn your own ideas into action?

Charles: I think it begins by creating a discipline of documentation. It’s important to document the development of a concept. It will provide a reference point to go back to as you continue in your idea-making journey.

Writing things down like vision, objectives, and plan will often result in refinement and much needed clarity. Furthermore, it will allow others to engage your ideas at a deeper level than just talk.

Secondly, a big part of idea-making is being aware of your own personal work rhythm. Recognizing and leveraging the most creative and productive moments of your day are keys to implementation.

If possible, work on your passions when you’re most focused. Don’t lose those precious moments of productivity by filling it with other distractions.

Thirdly, work on creating a process for refinement, evaluation, and experimentation. The idea you start with will rarely be the idea you end up with. In other words, it will evolve.

Think infrastructure and systems that allow for growth as much as you think specific steps for a creative process. Architecting a great environment will often go longer than blind allegiance to steps.

Fourthly, find others to partner with in your endeavor. Most great ideas can’t be implemented alone. Who will you work with and how? Working through collaborative opportunities is vital to your success.

Be clear, upfront, and honest in your engagements with others. Fear of hurting the other person’s feeling during conflict will ultimately be detrimental to the idea. Set clear expectations (in writing) and work on communicating regularly.

Lastly, stay agile and don’t loose sight of your overall goal. Remember what matters most to you at the end of the day. Is the idea you’re engaging consistent with what matters most to you? How will you know if you’ve been successful? Do you have this written down anywhere?

The book itself will go into far more detail about some of these points.

What the creative world needs

Jeff: As a creativity consultant, what’s the #1 need you see in the creative professional world? What’s lacking? What should creatives and those who work with them be aware of?

Charles: As a creative myself, I think we too often use our “creativity” as a scapegoat for our lack of organization and process-making. Statements like, “I’m just not that organized!” or, “Organization will sacrifice my creative integrity.” is not going to help you get any closer to actualizing your works of passion.

This kind of unnecessary dichotomy is often a great hindrance to idea-making. We really need to work on both our ideas and the processes needed to help our ideas come alive.

Jeff: Who inspires you to be more creative?

Charles: I love being with people that are not familiar to me. I’ve found that these are great moments for sparking and incubating unexpected creativity. Seeing the world through a different lens often fuels my creative process. I have learned to intentionally make time for these spontaneous opportunities of inspired learning.

Quite honesty, I think I can be inspired by anyone that I come across in life. It’s more about my posture to learn and be open to new insights than it is who I meet.

Win a free copy!

Charles has graciously agreed to give away copies of his book to three, lucky winners. Here’s how you can get a copy:

1. Leave a comment, answering the question below (include your email address).
2. Tweet the link, or share it on Facebook. (Use the hashtag #GoodIdeaBook.)
3. Wait patiently. I’ll randomly choose three winners in a week and email them. If I don’t hear back from you in 24 hours, I’ll choose someone else.

What do you do with your good ideas? Share in the comments.

Disclosure: Some of the above links are affiliate links. (Really, it’s just the one Amazon link to the book.)