goldenoro

Waves of Errr Nausea, I think

2012-04-18T00:32:00.001+08:00

I have been reading the tweets and status updates and blogs about Ombak Rindu, the film which has garnered about RM10 million at the box office.

In particular, this post which opened up a slew of unpleasant remarks to the writer, whose opinions voice the thoughts of many of the audience members I presume - the main one being a niggling little thought about the premise of the movie : that being that the "heroine" was in love with the man to whom she was prostituted, the man who raped, and then ultimately bought her like a commodity to take home.

The box office takings serve as a signifier that this unpleasant basis for the couple's relationship is not one that has had much effect on the audience's enjoyment of the movie.

I must say here that, I have not seen the movie nor read the book. I am sure that huge differences between the book and movie may exist, in part because I doubt the director read the book first and loved it enough to make a movie of it. I am sure all urges to make the movie were derived from a deisre to profit.

I am very interested, though, in why this movie has struck a chord with malaysian (and i think in this case, vastly malay) audiences. Though I cannot speak on the treatment of the story, the tone of it, or the specifics of it, I can certainly comment, I feel, on the reaction of audiences to it, no?

I looooove romance novels. Looove Mills and Boons fiction. Love it. In every one of these stories, the woman - usually gorgeous, sometimes Ugly Betty verging on Gorgeous, sometimes, nerdy, sometimes an outcast - gets the guy, who is usually gorgeous, but often rough, or distant, or cold, or even bad, but who usually ends up lusting for and then loving, the woman. Often, the relationship between the two can be fraught with awkward moments, nervous faux pas, intense sexual tension, even physical, sexual or verbal violence. If the man hurts her in any way, he realises his terrible ways and seeks forgiveness, after which he is usually rewarded with animal sex. I mean, LURVE.

Now, in REAL life, I don't think I could even look someone in the eye who had any bad intention towards me, let alone one with premeditated, intended acts of violence, physical, sexual or verbal. Honestly, take a moment to think of yourself in that position. Imagine yourself sold by your own family, taken to a dingy back room to be traded like cattle, and in your fear and vulnerability, hurt and abused abysmally. It wouldn't matter if the guy was gorgeous or hideous, would it? You wouldn't stick around to find out if you guys could hit it off after, would you? That is how I think any woman who has placed any value on herself other than what she thinks others value her for, would think or feel.

ANd I have no doubt that most of the women who watched the movie, would not consider it a happy event, to be raped. They would definitely not think of themselves in terms of deserving it, or desiring the abuse.

And yet, it did so well. Why?

Well, I think for the same reason as I love romance novels, the audience loves this story.

I think the malay movie audience psyche is totally into the idea that a woman, just by virtue of being herself, or "baik", has the power to captivate, enchant, and turn even the most villainous of men into faithful lovers.

It's the same audience that loves Twilight. I went to watch the first Twilight with Hubby Boo, and he was astonished that the cinema was full. We were also surprised at how many of the audience were be-scarved couples. It felt like we were about to watch an epic, like LOTR or something. Instead, we watched a whole lot of cinema time spent on longing gazes, intense sexual restraint, creepy voyeurism and a malingering sense of wrong that felt so right. I LOVED IT.

As a writer, I know that the film is about a whole lotta nothing happening except burgeoning sexual tension whipped into a frenzy with urgent, blue-balling stolen kisses and knowledge of imminent death. It's all foreplay of the imagination. It enjoys the idea that love transcends the dirty act of sex. That you can lust after and love someone, all in your mind, if you have superhuman self-restraint - oh, wait, he does! What a hero!

But if you take a moment and look at the author's upbringing (if I am not mistaken, mormon), you'll see that all this takes on a tinge of the religious cadre. That age-old control of women and their bodies, cleverly disguised with independence-chic and liberation rhetoric. Bella is "free" to be whatever she wants. Well, she chooses not to have boyfriends or be particularly interested in boys, even though so many are interested in her and she is obviously hot. BUt no, she is pure, virginal.

Of course, the one she falls for is the one she can't fathom, who seems almost to be hurt by his infatuation (or is it love?) with her. He can't help himself. He must have her. But he can't reveal what a monster he is to her. So he creeps into her bedroom at night to watch her sleep, leaving the instant she wakes, unseen. That is so sick.

Just think of some guy creeping into your room to watch you sleep. If I didn't die of fright first to find someone watching me like that, I would feel the subjectification of "the gaze" down to my deepest core. You know what that is, every one of you, it's when someone looks at you and they strip you of your power because there is nothing you can do to stop that look, no matter how vile that look is. Their intent is to make you feel small, or feel like all you are is a piece of meat that they are about to carve up without any thought or conscience. It can be sexual or about power, and putting you in your place. I would say girls feel it more than boys, but that it isn't a feeling exclusive to girls. Sometimes, you cannot even articulate what it is. But it is all about feeling powerless, or being made to feel powerless. You ever been the centre of unwanted attention? If you don't turn and run, you have to take it. Either way, you have been robbed of some choice. It's like a person taking your picture without your permission, or continuing to take it even if you ask them to stop. Effectively, they are robbing you of your choice.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE... you ARE the object of that attention, unwanted or not. Now, the scariest thing in the world, is when you somehow find it in your self to be alright with that, or even, to be FLATTERED by it. And I kinda feel that this is what is happening, not only here in the malaysian cinema audience, but all over the world.

There used to be a time when people would be a little embarrassed to pose, or be seen as "posing" for a camera. Now, it's de rigeur! Camwhoring? FUN! Looking like a cheap slut? Wana see MY duckface? And I am rather worried that people can't tell when it is tongue-in-cheek, spoofing of others who do it, or when it is utterly sincere. There are people out there who genuinely think nothing of their POSING.

I also reckon, Malaysians or Asians, don't really even have any thoughts about this at all, so why would it be a point of analysis? I mean, store attendants prune their eyebrows right there at the counter, with all the products! That, to me, is horrific, because it just says vanity, vanity, vanity, and a splash of unprofessionalism. People take pictures of themselves, when they are alone, in public. I would be highly self-conscious if I tried to do that, so I would make a joke of it, to make it obvious that I am making fun of it. But those other people... they're not joking!

SO what I am saying is, it seems that being "subject" to another's gaze - well, that concept probably carries no emotional weight for many at all, here. So it is no surprise to me then, that the idea of BElla being watched without her knowledge or consent, wouldn't ruffle any feathers.

If we were to apply this to Ombak Rindu - well, it stands to reason that many audience members might think, the heroine should be FLATTERED that she is being given such full-on, loyal attention as her rapist is giving to her. After all, she is a good woman. She has risen above the distasteful events of being sold off, raped and then bought. Why, she has even begged her abuser for marriage in order to secure herself the sanctimony of wedlock. At least now she can allow herself to be raped, with her conscience clear! What a good woman she is!

It kind of seems like a story about how being virtuous is contagious (after all,her abuser eventually begins to fight for her, no? like a prize) - but it really is about identifying one's sex as one's only source of power. So, never mind that Izzah is a victim of rape and abuse, she's one of those few who has risen above her abuse, has no need for justice, or even to acknowledge her rights to humane treatment or simply rights to safety. Instead, think of how she has managed to turn her abuser's scornful, evil intentions into caring and loyalty.

Hey! We should save the state some money by taking all the rapists out of jail, and marrying them off to their sisters, daughters and friends that they raped, because as women, those girls have a duty to their religion and society, to overcome their distaste (damage? wounds?) for the evil that was done to them and do themselves a favour by winning moral points by becoming useless martyrs that stink of defilement, not because they were abused, but because the concept of "being religiously good" has been so warped by their peers and society.

Ignoring the original evil in order to bask in the glory of their lust-turned-love, is taking it a step too far. Defending it is morally reprehensible. I would agree with a viewer's right to enjoy the movie DESPITE the unpleasant premise, but not BECAUSE of it, and that distinction is very hard to make, when most people seem to think there is none.

So, while I do enjoy me a good romance novel, and I love to ride the waves of passion and love they ellicit, I do have enough of a brain to know that they are nonsensical, and usually undesirable in real life. I would like to think that local audiences simply wanted to enjoy those feelings romance novels create, and not really have to think about the reality, which is that they probably already know someone who has suffered some form of sexual abuse.

The reality of rape is that, it is a horrendously violent act, an act of intent to strip the victim of power, dignity and choice. MOre often than not, physical violence with intent to hurt or kill, accompanies it. Or the threat of physical violence in the form of a weapon, or verbal threat, which is a terrifying ordeal to be put through. If you have even a modicum of imagination, if you have ever been looked at, jeered at, felt up or touched inappropriately, simply because you are a woman, you will understand what that fear is.

Make no mistake, rape has less to do with sex and more to do with breaking someone's spirit, and imposing one's will over someone else.

After all, if a guy simply wanted to take care of his sexual needs, there are girls out there who would willingly be of service, free or for a charge.

Yes, the movie is just a movie. Yes, most of us understand it as such and know the difference between fact and fiction. The problem for me lies in this: that certain, very heavy issues, are being glamourised, heightened and even considered cool or (haha) nice. The girl who stands up for herself is portrayed negatively, like a shrew who overthinks things and places way too much value on her selfish pride. And yet, our heroine, who has had her pride stripped from her, is portrayed as the ideal woman, who ends up being so sublimely in love she might as well die and go straight to heaven.

THis is what scares me, the idea that, hey, it might actually be easy to get over being raped. Just think of yourself as 1) so desirable he couldn't help himself 2) so spiritually strong that you can get over the abuse of your body and rise above it but in reality, thinking or doing any of these things ignores the real event of a gross misdeed by one of god's creatures against another. Praising Izzah for her religious and moral superiority in this context is ridiculous because at the very same time, you (and she) would be condoning Haris' horrendous ungodly act. What hypocrisy!

But, tell yourself, it's just a movie. That it simply has no power at all over our collective consciousness. That you do not have any emotional investment in it at all, even if you cry at some scenes, or hate certain characters. Tell yourself that movies are fiction, that all cinema has no relation at all to our society or to our culture... it is this very notion that keeps our film industry purely an entertainment business in the eyes of the masses, rather than a cultural phenomenon. When we tell stories, any story, even the silliest story, we express ourselves, reflect ourselves and create ourselves. If you don't get that, you really probably never will. Which is fine and is not an indication of my character at all haha!

As a footnote, I observed earlier that most of the cinema was filled with girls in headscarves with their dates/partners. I reckon the greatest appeal about Twilight, and probably about Ombak Rindu, was the unbearable sexual tension. The unrequited, unfulfilled, forever foreplaying sex/love/nosex dilemma that makes these books so appealing. It really says something about the malay psyche, don't you think? Part of the charm of holding off from physical relationships is that tension - and I must say, it seems a lot more appealing than the utter drudgery of endless one-night stands that those Westerners have to endure.

Nanaite!

Hear Me in Seefood

2012-03-01T11:44:00.001+08:00

I do a little voice over work in my spare time. I have been both blessed and cursed with a deepish voice. The number of times I have been either complimented or insulted for having a deep voice served to give me a little hint: people notice it. Having dabbled in some acting, I find I love the moments of being on stage, but definitely cannot abide by the amount of time rehearsing takes away from kiddie routines.

I love that acting is seen as both something sort of noble, and also something sort of whoreish - and I totally get both! As an actor, you have to be able to be vulnerable, to let honesty bubble to the surface, to let your ego aside, in order to serve the function of acting on stage. And yet, you feed your ego simply by being on stage, you are effectively lying whilst striving for honesty, because it is in practical terms, a pretense after all.

I have been lucky that I have been able to do voice over work, which requires a different kind of acting that, physically, relies solely on the control of your voice and breath. You don't have to look good, you don't have to smell good, and you don't have to put in hours of rehearsal. I have done commercials and more recently, in the past three or four years, done dubbing and voice over work for dramatic programmes, as well as computer games and so on.

I got a small part as the turtle in the upcoming movie Seefood, which is opening in local cinemas next week. I am very grateful to have gotten that opportunity. The film has already won awards overseas, and is a joint effort between local and international companies - you can find out more about it here, which is the blog maintained by the audio recording company which cast me (and regularly, happily, employs me).

So the theme for the premier, which is tonight, is blue and white, and since I don't have either of those colours in my wardrobe, I am going to make an outfit this morning, which will be a long blue skirt with a white and multi-coloured print, which I shall attempt to make like the following picture, except with sleeves:

this pic is taken from here but i found it on pinterest.com.

And I will be making both pieces out of the following textiles - one is a slinky knit in aqua blue and the other is a rayony, polyestery, silky mix print. Both ae from NAgoya and cost less than RM15 per metre.

If I have time to, I will post a picture of the finished product before my night out. Wish me luck!

Lovey, C

Been Up To Good.

2012-02-29T11:19:00.001+08:00

Hope everyone has ahad a lovely new year and all other holidays from last year's raya till this year's chinese new year!

Been a while since i have posted, but it wasn't from a lack of news or opinions! So many awful things have happened in the news both local and international - and i have often felt the urge to have my say here on my blog.

However, a big lesson came to me sometime during the last few months - and that is that no matter what i have to say, my blog can only be one-sided, and people who wish to enter into discussions with me here (polite or otherwise), will also, by the very state of such things, have their own one-sided opinions.

I can vent all i want, but i won't sway anyone here who has no wish to be swayed. So i decided to keep most of my opinions to myself, and to refrain from commenting willy-nilly on my social media platforms.

It is kind of liberating, actually. I simply take a moment begore i press submit or enter, and ask myself if i have been kind and helpful, or have my words simply been more negativity to spew into the world?

I have usually deleted my words before sending them into the netosphere. Either you become a troll or you provide fodder for trolls. So, even though i have stood on my own soapbox now and then, i think i rather enjoy the notion that this platform is for me to put my news out there to any who might be interested. If they aren't, i assume they would simply move on to something more interesting to them.

So, what have i been up to, then? Lots of toddler- caring, sewing, moving, school routine bladibla. I have really enjoyed being a stay at home mum this time around, but as o near the two-year mark, i do rather wish for me time more and more.

I am a cranky sort of mum when i feel overly-stimulated - and with two tweens chatting, asking and performing at me whilst i care for an increasingly independent toddler, i feel thy most of the time! I get loud and strict and snarky. It's not nice and i don't like that about myself. However i won't abide by bad behaviour and i do expect my eldests to attempt maturity at the very least!

Anyway, i have been sewing up a storm. Especially flowy maxi skirts which are stupendously easy! Today i also whipped up a wrap circle skirt for Panini:

And last week a slinky kniw gathered skirt, here modeled by Baby One - who is now so big she is accepting handmedowns from aunty Panini:

And then last year for their cultural week at school i made a greek roumeli-style outfit for Baby Two, who so loved it! Baby One is in lotud dress, from Sabah. They both wanted to celebrate their differences so I had to make something because we only have Malay baju. Baby One's is my own outfit from when I was about 15!

I also made about 30 reversible tote and sling bags. It started as an emergency gift for a birthday present I had forgotten to buy, and turned into a fantastic creative excursion for me. I made a whole bunch for our staff, who despite various setbacks in our plans last year, worked hard and stayed with us through our journey:

If you want to see more of those bags, go here .

I also made some costumes for Hubby Boo that he and his partner needed whilst they were in a major telly comedy competition last year. That was fun because I only ever had a day or two to create them in.

The beginnings of a muscle suit:

And Hubby wanted ass enhancement:

Might I say that the padding failed because it was not properly worn!

I made these delicious cookies for Baby Two's valentine's day gift for her classmates. As delicious as they look:

I made myself a maxi skirt out of this wonderful cloth i got from Kamdar and tested out the lovely turquoises i have seen adorning nails here and there.

I also love the trend in zip-top and foldover clutches in colourblocked patterns. So I made myself one in faux leather left over from one of the Hubby costumes I made. I lined it with a spotty print from Nagoya:

BE nice, smell nice :)

Lovey, C

Illy bean's beanie

2011-08-03T15:51:00.001+08:00

I have been knitting:

She likes to take it off quickly so my photos aren't that great.

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Illy agrees with Vegemite

2011-07-30T12:36:00.001+08:00

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Cooking Monster

2011-07-30T12:22:00.001+08:00

Old capsicum and chillies? Make a salsa!

I took out the membranes and seeds because deep down i harbour hopes my daughters will look on my food and want to try some. It won't happen again if it burns the top of their mouths off. So i like to keep the results as open as possible!

Tiny shallots in a pan with salt pepper tumeric and paprika. I had no garlic and usually load the dish up with it. Wouldn't normally use tumeric but today i wantrd that dry yellow warm vibe that i get from it. Sweat'em down.

Chop or slice your veg. I usually have long thin slices but today i thought i would live a little and dice. Add to the pan. Season again.

I always adda chopped tomato seeds and all, and squish it into the pan to get that mushy consistency i so love:)
Cook down with a little liquid. I used soy sauce and have used dashi before. If u think the tomato might be too acidic add a touch of sugar.
Serve thusly:

Or put it in the fridge and keep for a little side on any future dishes.
I love dill and in this combination takes the bite off any residual chilli heat nicely.

Brunchtime!
C
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Success!

2011-07-29T07:46:00.001+08:00

My fourth attempt at macarons and decided to repeat my paprika macs which were the only successful batch. This time around, it was on purpose:)

I took my SIL to the Bagus bakery solution store and dropped her off while i circled the block. 40mins later and slightly flushed, she emerged triumphant and happy:)

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Ok i know it's overkill but it's chocolate!

2011-07-25T23:50:00.001+08:00

Third time and not quite right. It was a little thick, much like the green tea ones - and i think because our largest eggs sorta count as mediums elsewhere. I could have used an extra yolk.

They looked a little granuley waiting to go in the oven - and might i say turdy - but they developed a skin quickly and i put them in after only ten mins standing. They puffed up nicely but certainly lack that gorgeous smooth eggshell top that is so desired in a macaron.

However i often love the idea of still enjoying a homemade delectable despite it not being up to par - my own little rebellion in the kitchen.

It all looks the same if you chew it a couple of times!

I added dark choc to my endless white choc ganache supply, and purposely salted it a little extra to get those tastebuds going.

Wish you could taste them. But then again - NOT!!

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Second attempt

2011-07-24T18:08:00.001+08:00

These turned out super runny in the piping bag and ended up spreading like raw pancakes over the baking sheet.

I realised only after baking that i had put in two extra eggs and ha mentally reminded myself to add a third extra of the dry ingredients - which of course i only remembered to do when they came out of the oven.

First batch: lemon. Delicious. Flat. Lemons in all senses of the word. Might serve them as an eton mess with my leftover white choc ganache.

Second batch: yam. Slightly thicker cos i didnt loosen it with juice like i did the lemon.

The yam ones are baking and puffing up quite a lot, so perhaps if i had left the lemons in longer? They are huge, like small saucers. For those i am mixing a little ginger powder into the ganache.

The whole batch is for CosmicGal, cos i never even saved her a bit first time round heeeee.

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Yep. I did it. I made Macaroons. Macarons. Pantalons. Bloody Good Biscuits.

2011-07-23T00:23:00.001+08:00

I have been watching Season 2 of Aussie Masterchef and was really inspired by Callum's gorgeous bright purple macaron royal crown-inspired dessert which he made for the London challenge.

My sister in law CosmicGal mentioned she would love to try her hand at making them, especially after trying the delicious ones from BabycakeShoppe (located under the stairs to the right of the lobby as you enter the GTower hotel on Jalan Tun Razak, right next to Dayabumi). They are delicious and quite cheap, as they come.

Prior to that I had already tasted the sublime macarons from Nathalie's Gourmet Studio , which I must say are truly divine. Especially the Salted Caramel ones. They are almost double the price of the others, but are also almost double the size.

In general, they are expensive, yes. It's a delicate art or craft. Try whipping stiff peaks into your egg whites in this humidity.

But with all the macarons in my life, I decided perhaps I should try making them too. I went to my local complete baking goods store which I love just browsing (heck, who needs to shop with all that eye candy?) in Jalan Negara, Taman Melawati. Got me some ground almonds and a variety of food colour pastes, chocolates and sugar sprinkles and flavours.

Tonight after the baby had slept, I got to mixing a double batch of all the recipe I decided to use, which I found in two sources, here and here. The former seems to originate from MArtha Stewart's site, and while I followed the ingredients measurements from that one (much prefer cups and spoons to measuring by weight!), I found the instructions to the latter recipe much simpler.

I still had to read and re-read the recipe to understand it. I knew that my performance with the egg whites could be the deal-breaker, and I wanted to fully understand what I was getting myself into.

I had to read up on what aged egg-whites were (whites separated from yolks out of the fridge but allowed to stand, covered in cling film, for at least a day at room temperature. They lose moisture and therefore whisk better).

I was also concocting all sorts of flavours for both the macarons outers and the fillings. At the very last moment I decided on green tea macarons with a white chocolate ganache filling (am toying with making half of them with ginger added to the white chocolate).

I also did paprika macarons, which were surprisingly delicious.

These I will fill with the white chocolate but if I were more inventive, I would go with something less garishly sweet and more mellow. Perhaps a sort of cottage cheese flavoured filling? Something to complement the bite of the paprika.

As I was mixing up the batches, I ended up having too little egg white for the green tea dry mix and they ended up being very dry and heavy in the piping bag, and wouldn't form a skin when resting. Still, I went ahead and baked them because it was my first try and I think I would have been prepared to eat them all raw, it looked so good. They formed "feet" (the little bubbly underlayer you see on all well-made macs) very quickly, and then kind of slid off themselves sideways. They were too heavy and didn't cook in the middle. I kept them in as long as possible but they were starting to turn brown, which is a no-no apparently.

The paprika ones piped beautifully, formed a skin beautifully, and baked beautifully. You could almost see the feet form in a span of 5 seconds.

Both batches have that nutty, herby, almost bittery malty taste, except the green tea is dry on the tongue and the paprika is perky in the throat - ALL GOOD.

Waiting for them to cool and for the chocolate to thicken up. Will post more pics when the product is finished!

Hmmm. Is this something I should ask my peeps to taste-test? Or something I can do on my own?

*munchesthoughtfully*

Lovey,
C

PS Macarons VS Macaroons? I always thought Macaroons are coconut chewy biscuits - and I was right! However I am not sure if the two names are interchangeable for the egg-shell biscuits I refer to here. If you're shy about frenchifying your words, then fine. I know what you mean!

PPS i awoke to a set white choc filling but i reckon had too little choc in it cos it is too runny. Once i sandwiched the macarons together with the filling, surprisingly, the paprika macs worked out better than the green tea ones, which seem overly sweet despite the matte green tea taste. Must say the paprika are quite good. When you take the first bite, the aroma in my mouth reminds me of barbeque twisties, but then when i continue chewing it becomes this mellow smokey sweet with a kick of heat at the end.
The promised pics:

Despite the drippy choc, Baby Two in typical fashion let it drip all over her hands do she could spend that extra moment savouring it. The mac lasted about 5mins, she took that long to eat it.

Blessings

2011-06-27T07:47:00.001+08:00

Early mornings getting ready for school when there are no fights, only quiet and preparation, these are lovely moments for me.
Getting the girls ready for school is hard for me. I am not a morning person, but i do think early birds get the best part of the day. It's hard to instil that in them and be disciplined when in the back of my mind all i want to do is slide under the sheets and snooze.

Baby One and Two are settling into new school very well despite a few bumps here and there with new friends and new curriculum. Baby Two has surged ahead (she was carried forward a year) and received recommendations for her performance. Baby One is finding her performing skin, and for one so clumsy and awkward physically, she blooms when "on".

Baby Three decided one day that she was going to walk, and after a few days' practise on the bed of a step or two, suddenly walked seven or eight steps under the encouragement of Baby Two. Such decidedly different characters, all growing and maturing so quickly and so slowly at the same time.

Ten years after my first kid, caring for another infant is definitely a whole other story. I am much more willing to be Baby's slave. Ok, i'll read you stories til you're bored. Not til I'm bored. Yes, you can scratch me. Uhuh, i'll escort you up and down the stairs five or six times. You want me to sing all the way to our destination? My vocal cords were made to sing for you.

When i get time alone, when everyone is sleeping, i have so many things to catch up on, but i don't want to start for fear interruption will leave them hanging and undone. So i do very little. The mental challenge of dealing with two arguing pre-teens and a baby is simply exhausting, because i am so mental! I mean because i pride myself on my mental acuity- which means nothing when it comes to children. You can't use only logic. You can't be intellectual or even rational sometimes. It is so much harder to explain simple concepts than conplex ones. How do you explain why tomatoes taste the way they do? Or why Baby Three insists on scratching Baby Two but not Baby One?

A very unpleasant situation for someone who likes to have all the answers.

But it's ok. I like having the one purpose of caring during the day, and then having the quiet night to myself. Wreaks havoc on the sleeping habits though :)

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The Importance of The Wedding

2011-04-29T08:01:00.001+08:00

I have been avoiding and pooh-poohing the hype about the royal wedding, even the tv docs that have been showing. The enormous fuss about the dress Kate will wear, the hair on William's head, the fact that his mother Diana's absence is overshadowing the whole event is a bit too much.

But then last night I caught a doc on tv about the Queen, and about the long 60 years she has reigned. It suddenly struck me that, despite her role being more or less a title, she has had to go through the most drastic and revolutionary changes any of her kind have gone through. I wonder how Henry 8 or Richard the Lionheart would have coped. So much of the change was social, by the people for the people. Would those others before have been able to accept such change, or move with it?

Anyway, the whole hoohah about the royal wedding has been putting me off. More so, the American fascination with them - and their seeming lack of understanding about the weight of royal ancestry and tradition. It's like a reality show for them.

But I thought of my own experience of this, during Diana and Charles' wedding. I think I was in London just after the time, travelling with my parents, as a 7 year-old, I think. The coins, mugs and plates we came across seemed so joyously important to everyone at the time. I was most taken with how pretty the princess was, and how english storybook-like a character Charles was. My reaction to Diana's passing took me by surprise - I was quite affected, in most part because she had become such a figurehead of compassion for the needy, and was caught in between her obligations to a family she didn't belong to anymore, and her need to be normal, I guess.

In a sense, my memory of Diana was all the more poignant because I had been somehow involved in the hoohah that had been her own wedding. We had a history, even if it was only my own!

I also do not want my kids to take my disregard of the Wedding Hoohah as a disregard for matrimony in general. Although I got married without any doubts in my mind, with hindsight, I realise that getting married is a huge and courageous undertaking. Firstly, it is about trust, and secondly, it is about claiming each other and declaring that you will both "make it work". Married couples who work hard at their marriage are everyday heroes, as far as I am concerned.

And although I feel disconnected to William and Kate, I do feel the burden that the public places on them, even if they might not feel it themselves, having practically grown up with it.

I wish them all the luck and love and happiness... and maybe we'll watch the whole day-long coverage today. After all, it's raining, and it's tv.

:)

C

Another option for donation

2011-03-23T23:29:00.002+08:00

How the Conversation Has Changed (no more baby talk, mama!)

2011-03-09T08:27:00.001+08:00

Me: Baby1, did you make a smell?
Baby1: Me? No! Why do you always think it's me? (grumblemumble)
Me: Oh, sorry. Baby2, was it you?
Baby2: Who knows?

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Morning

2011-02-23T07:48:00.001+08:00

Most mornings are very difficult for me. If it's not me struggling to wake, it's one of the Babies.

I can't blame them. Mornings are the best for sleeping. It's harder on me because if I move I might wake my little bedmate:

When we finally struggle out into the car we are usually late, but mostly not too late.

Traffic going to school is okay but coming back is a chore. I have to sit through city-bound traffic to make it back home. At least i have this sleepy critter keeping me company.

When i get home i can go back to sleep if i want to, but it really depends on my little cohort.

Today she felt like casting an eye over my bookshelf organising.

Every now and then she finds something that simply doesn't work and just pulls it out.

I take the opportunity to indulge in my favourite pastimes:

Like my little snowman under all that coffee? Me too. Sometimes Illy joins me.

Other times all the hard work gets to her and we soon have a lie down, because she needs her sleep, the little tyke.

Be nice. Smell nice.

:)

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Cheesy Goodness in A Jiffy!

2011-02-05T17:07:00.001+08:00

I had some of Pea's wonderful cheese scones at Jobby's baby shower. I brought some home. I ran out of jam before I could finish them :(

This was a few weeks ago. Today I had a tub of already grated cheddar thanks to my dear mum who thought I could use it when cooking for the girls. Little did she know I had more selfish designs in mind muaahahaaaa.

So I looked up Delectable Pea's recipe and had it prepped in a quickie:

Unfortunately I rushed them out of the oven thinking I had burnt them. I had not. But they are a little underdone.

And mostly sitting in my belly now.

Did it again

2011-02-02T17:59:00.001+08:00

Found more gorgeous jpanese cottons at kamdar. Been making baby blankets, including the following which was for my friend Jobby's baby shower:

I patched on an elephant with a flappy ear. Homemade and handmade and something that will come in handy:)

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Books Versus Television - is it moot?

2011-01-14T11:05:00.000+08:00

i have always loved reading. I have also always loved the telly.

When I started school in Oz, many kids were amazed at how much tv I got to watch. I think I got free reign as a child - as long as I had homework done and it was kiddy friendly tv, I could watch anytime, anything.

I remember having the groundwork of my philosophy of life being laid by concepts I came across in tv documentaries. Despite my current despair about the state of local television, I remember seeing amazing documentaries on local tv when I was a child. I learnt about surgery, the mind / body relationship, how to conserve and economise in the home when using electricity and water, and how germs and drugs kind of worked the same way - you had to keep clean and stay away from danger zones.

I also remember being engrossed in our Encyclopaedia Brittanica, which came in a set of about 24 volumes of alphabetically listed subjects (I think Q and R were in one volume, as well as X, Y and Z). I read every single volume over and over again and would read it from page one to the end. We also had a wonderful children's encyclopaedia which was split into volumes by subject - like home activities (with a scientific slant) and animal, etc. Volume 11 was my fave out of the 15. It was dark blue. There was also a popular psychology set which described things like cognitive psychology, sexual, social psychology, mental illness and ageing and so on.

Somehow as I progressed through school and uni i think I got a little snooty about reading being a higher pursuit than television watching - and today it occurred to me that maybe my attitude is a little, well, closed-minded.

I have been worrying about my kids not being big readers, and thinking there is so much to be said for learning through reading, especially about life experience, vicarious though the process may be. I mean, you do not have to go through a bad experience, say, to understand how bad it could be (for example, the death of a relative), but reading about it, whether fact or fiction, would definitely give you a more compassionate understanding of it, simply because you would have a wider, deeper knowledge of that experience, even if you hadn't experienced it at all.

But there is also much to be said about real life teaching that can come from family and peers. I could definitely teach my kids about how to deal with that currently fictional death of a relative and how they might be affected, or how they could behave around others who might be affected.

I always pooh-poohed the idea of relying on the television, especially in cases when parents leave the tv to babysit their children constantly.

Then I had kids. And I rediscovered my faith in the tv. yes, I have let the tv babysit my kids on occasion (while I have been writing or simply zoning out), and there have been times when it would happen over an extended period. But, being very conscious of the effect on my kids of any outside influence (i.e. not me or hubby), I have always closely monitored their attitudes and react almost immediately when something crops up which I get suspicious of.

This is as any conscientious parent would do. Kids pick up habits and behaviours from people, why wouldn't they pick them up from the tv or also from their books (if they were readers)? So my kids understood from a young age that any questionable behaviour, language or attitudes would be questioned, and they learned that there were certain programmes they could not watch. And now that they are bigger and craftier, they know there are certain programmes they shouldn't tell me they have watched (Grrr).

Today I was watching BBC Knowledge on our new cable tv package, and I suddenly thought, when tv is good, it is so effing brilliant, and I would plonk my kids down to watch hours of great, spine-tingling, toe-curlingly good tv anytime. Especially television done in the great tradition of conscientious, ethical reporting or education, as the british tend to have been. Nowadays some great stuff is coming out of Canada, and if you can look past some of the hype of Amercian tv, some if it is pretty good too ( though i think their film docs are better).

The writing on british and australian children's television is exemplary, and doesn't just fulfil the entertainment goal, but also seems to take into account the personal and social growth of the child watching. For older kids, the shows can get incredibly complex, not only having a single arcs of narrative, but also smaller, inter-related arcs of sub-plot, or concepts, following on the one theme.

Life now is so incredibly different from just 20 years ago. The mobile phone changed everything. The internet changed everything. And just 5 years ago, we still had to go home to check our mail. Now, life is about getting connected.

I can't be unrealistic about my kids and keep pushing them to read. I could stifle their natural curiosity. whereas, right now, if they want to know something, I can easily encourage them to look it up on the net, and if they want to know more, guide them to other resources such as books and magazines and the tv, for more info.

They already will be expected to do proper research in the next few years at school, so, why push so much?

I guess now the real issue is if the whole business of being constantly connected might create future adults who might not really know how to focus deeply on the one thing. Well, I can no longer do that - what mother / professional can nowadays? Unless you want a career in scientific research and analysis, are those skills really necessary?

Perhaps not at work. But I think personal relations might suffer. Ever tried to hold a conversation with someone who won't look up from their phone? It's annoying, but they usually stop if you punch the table to get their attention :)

C

Learned something today

2010-12-29T10:05:00.001+08:00

This morning I was sitting with my mum in her living room with Illy bouncing on the sofa beside her, when mum said in Greek, "kathe katergaros sto spiti tou" and then proceeded to explain.

My sister and I have visited for Christmas and she has left and today I will leave. The saying means something aling the lines of "everyone returns to their place". But the word "katergaros" is the vernacular for a small brown fish, like a trout, which, when you put a cigarette in its mouth, will smoke it.

I love these little sayings and i love how their literal meanings inform the figurative meaning.

Happy new year all! I hope it is a profitable and wonderful one.

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Today Illy let me sew...

2010-12-12T21:47:00.001+08:00

... So i covered my cushions with some of the lush fabric i have been hoarding.

That picture in the background is not of anyone in our family - it came with the room divider frame thingy and we never took it out.

It kind of reflects how our house has come together over ten years: bits and pieces that don't match (no, not even on purpose) which haven't found their full potential as part of a cohesive whole.
It's not like we are in an interim house - we are here to stay. I guess I have never placed any importance on the design or beauty of the house and have always opted for utilitarian choices. Having finally realised that i get affected by my surroundings, now that i have been spending so much time at home, i really want to make our home a place with clean lines, but luxurious in textures. Calming but not numbingly void of character.
The kitchen has a poo-yellow tile from floor to head height whilst the cabinets, though lovely, are dark dark dark. I am thinking they need a pale, blue-grey colour. And those tiles need to go!

So I indulged my urge to hange things up by changing my cushions. And lovely Illy let me do it but after about half an hour she insisted I needed to carry her evrywhere I went for the rest of the afternoon.

After that she let me feed her in her bumbo next to the new white tree with the Ikea critters on it:)

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Merry merry!

2010-12-09T13:18:00.001+08:00

Must say Aeon Jusco has the best Xmas setup this year. Simple, pristine and all about great lights in calming chases. No psychotic multicoloured epileptic fit-inducing flashes!

Happy Merries and New Year!!

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Improv Delights!! Actorlympics is baaaack!

2010-11-10T18:07:00.000+08:00

Actorlympics is on again next week!

Vision Works brings you the Actorlympics Tigerrr Show, live improvisational comedy theatre straight from the perspiring loins of our dramatic corps of artistes – and we can guarantee THEY ARE ALL PROS!

Featuring Afdlin Shauki, Douglas Lim, Adibah Noor, Joanna Bessey, Nell Ng, Reza Zainal Abidin, Patrick Teoh, Fish Fazil, Na'a Murad and Jenhan. This is Malaysian sketch comedy at its best – a bigger troupe of Pros you’ll never see the like of except in our show!

And because we care, we are bringing you a show with a tongue-in-cheek theme that draws attention to the plight of our beleaguered Malayan Tiger, in this, our Year of the Tiger. Could it have gotten any worse for the poor Tiger in its own year? First, it’s already in danger, then some humans pimp it out for money. Well, we figure two can play at THAT game!

We have hooked up with WWF-Malaysia to bring more information and understanding to the theatregoing public – as well as the opportunity to find out how you can have a hand in doubling the current population of the Malayan Tiger!

So come on out for a night of fun and maybe you’ll learn something new about the Tiger and perhaps about us humans as well.

Find out more on our Facebook Page (search for “Actorlympics”) or go tohttp://actorlympics.blogspot.com/ or visit www.pjla.com.my.

For more info on Malayan Tigers and WWF-Malaysia, go to www.tx2.my.

Please check with the Box Office for nightly lineup of actors when making your booking.

Venue: PJ Live Arts
2A-3, Block K, Jaya One,
Section 13, No.72A, Jalan Universiti,
46200, Petaling Jaya, Selangor D.E, Malaysia
Dates: Tues 16 – Sun 21, November 2010
Time: 8.30pm ALL SHOWS
Tickets: Adults RM60, Seniors RM45, Students 12 yrs and above RM30
We recommend this show is not suitable for children under 8 years.

Bookings: 603.7960.0439 or 6012.683.2099

EXCITING PROMOS FOR TICKET HOLDERS!

At Frontera Sol of Mexico, ticket holders can enjoy a 3 course set dinner for RM45++ or RM60++ with a glass of wine prior to the show (please order at least an hour prior to the start of the show), as well as a 1-for-1 drinks special (buy one get one free deal for margarita, wine, beer, orange juice or coke).

Audience members will also receive a slice of cake and regular coffee with every main course order from The Bee upon presentation of their ticket.

Fun for all the family!

2010-11-10T12:09:00.001+08:00

Or: the importance of understanding english especially if you are a reporter for a national newspaper.

Check out the headline here (eng trans: dr jism, electrostatic therapy):

The best part is the caption beneath the pic of the modestly wholesome male and female:

(eng trans: dr jism... Giving pleasure to its users)

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Foot In Mouth Disease

2010-11-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

Came across this article about how the Def Min thinks that a possible reason why there are less than 1% non-Malays in the armed forces is : LACK OF PATRIOTISM.

To quote:

"KUALA LUMPUR: A lack of patriotism was one of the possible reasons for the small number of non-Malays in the armed forces, Defence Minister Datuk Seri Dr Ahmad Zahid Hamidi told Parliament Tuesday."

Ohoho!

So by implication, Malay = Patriot. Non-Malay = Non-patriot.

The article then goes on to list other more likely and more pragmatic reasons than that rather up-in-the-air presumption, with:

"Dr Ahmad Zahid said the small number of non-Malays could also be due to various other factors, such as concern over the strict discipline imposed, lower returns compared to jobs in the private sector, lack of encouragement from families and negative perceptions towards the army."

Hmmm. I would suggest that fear of racism, gangsterism, ostracism, bullying, poor reception and poor perception of other races could also be reasons, but then I would be making an outrageous presumption about all parties involved.

There are so many levels of why going on here that this simplistic remark is offensive because it writes off real problems faced by the whole nation as "the other's lack".

Basically, unless you are mainstream Malay, you are the "other", and it is your "lack" that is the source of the mainstream's problems. This is simplistic and unrealistic, and unnecessarily provocative and closed-minded. It is the view of (a collective) ego so weak in self-esteem it must bring others down in order to justify its actions and words.

Surely we are beyond this?!

Malaysia, the best way to get mature behaviour from our leaders is to EXPECT it and to express our disappointment when it doesn't happen. Funnily, it's the same way you teach kids to grow up too.

PBFBBFFRFFFFTTTTTT!!!

Before the Return To Oz

2010-11-07T23:43:00.002+08:00

Before I get to posting about my recent, long-awaited trip to Australia, I want to show off the little blankets I made before I left.

Knowing I would need at least 6 gifts for new baby mummies who were old friends of mine and my sister's, I spent a whole lot of time roaming shops before I suddenly hit on the now obvious idea of making something for them all with all the fabulous fabric I have amassed over the last year or two.

I thought of making quilts but knew that unless I could churn out a few every week, it wasn't going to get done. I came across a fabulous idea for a baby receiving blanket in a gorgeous book I had bought earlier last year: Joelle Hoverson's Last Minute Patchwork and Quilted Gifts. It was a square piece of cotton flannel bordered with double-folded bias binding, which I thought was super cute and easy on the eye.

I had also been thinking about the coasters I had been making earlier this year. So I thought, why not make cute baby blankets with all my lovely material and instead of a single layer with gorgeous hemming, make them like I made my coasters?

Brilliant!

I used my Japanese Miyaki cotton prints, got myself about ten metres of cotton flannel in cream, grey, powder blue and pastel pink, sewed squares of them right-sides-in, leaving a small hole through which I inverted the blankets inside-out. Then I sewed the edges down and quilted the two sides together with a few interlocking squares, to keep the two pieces from shifting around like a billowing pillow case.

For one of them I had forgotten to sew the print right-side-in, and of course, hating unpicking as much as I do, I decided making my own double-folded bias binding would be far more desirable! Then Icould just cover the edges with a lovely contrasting print and ta-daaa! All those pieces of material leftover are suddenly put to full use :)

So I had gifts for two new babies and two brother-sister sets, six in all. The pleasure of giving them was unsurpassed. I think I should make baby blankets forever. I'll be the baby blanket making queen. It's great because I only need to sew in a straight line and cut the material straight. Plus if takes so little time! Right up my alley.

I so adore my pictures I have to put them all here. Sorry!

This one ended up going to Claire's little Tessa.

This blue stripe went to Dawne's little man Zac.

This one came back to KL ungiven and was claimed by Baby Two.

This one is one of my favourites and also came back.

This yellow and purple was the one that started as a mistake (I forgot to sew right sides together) and ended up being rather lovely. This went to Chris' little Lilly.

This olive-y green went to Claire's little fighter, Finlay.

This grey-green stripe went to Megan's gorgeous blue-eyed boy Leo.

This is a bunch of prints and flannels I paried together which have yet to be assembled.

The check you see on top went to Chris's Jack - who is a cutie.

You might remember the olive-green print here, which I used as edging for the dresses I made for the girls. Here it has been sliced into bias-cut strips to be folded over twice to make edging. This particular print combo is now lining Illy Bean's cot.

Speaking of, this is detail of the quilt I made for Illy before she was born.

Oooooo. I can't help myself, they are like candy. Boiled sweets.