What are you going to do this fall to re-arrange your priorities so that you can attract what you really want, your own True Love, into your life?

The 'dreaded' holidays will be here before you know it.  Is it ok that you are still waiting?

Or, are you really happy with the pace of your search for a partner?

If you want fast results, there is nothing faster than addressing self sabotage.  And I have some really good news.

As you know, The Saboteur Seduction Summit starts tomorrow, September 7,  and I have been contacted by four Saboteurs who have heard about the class and are secretly switching sides, anonymously of course, to talk about how each works to keep you stuck and more importantly….

When you are feeling your personal magnetism again, it's delicious! Life begins to draw you forward and you will attract a wonderful variety of experiences on your way to Love.

The 5 Part Saboteur Summit begins tomorrow, September 7 at 1 pm pacific/4 pm eastern.  The Summit is being recorded and each recording will be emailed to you before the end of the class day.  I will be interviewing Madame X (She likes that name)  for about 10 minutes at the start of the call.  She is a Scarlett O'Hara and to no one's surprise has a lot to say.  I will then teach the strategy that will bring the info into focus for all of you to practice with before the next class.

I hope you will join us.  You can get all the details right here:  http://budurl.com/AttractLove

Take Life From Drab to Fab, This Stuff Really Works!

PS Here are signs of self sabotage in case you are still wondering if you are sabotaging yourself in any way:

• Still Feeling Undeserving even though you have been through so much personal development work
• Feeling Not Good Enough, no matter how hard you try
• Resenting women who have fallen in love
• Comparing yourself to women who you feel are successful in Love
• Playing too small, settling for a fraction of what you deserve.
• Ignoring your intuition
• Unwilling to do what it takes to move your life forward, feeling frozen in apathy
• Afraid to invest in help, the value of supporting yourself is hard to see
• Indecision
• Worry about what other people will say.

The good news is you can figure out what your style of sabotage is and make a plan to deconstruct it.  It is way easier than you think!  Check it out:  Http://budurl.com/AttractLove

PPSS There is a preview call for this Summit, you can find it here:  Http://burdurl.com/LoveAgain

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

When you put these secrets into practice you will immediately begin tuning in to your Core Love Vibration.  When your Core Love Vibe is activated, you radiate intense personal magnetism that changes who notices you.

Just register right here and the recording will be on its way to you:

http://forms.aweber.com/form/67/818546867.htm

Seats are filling for the Saboteur Seduction Summit.  I can't wait to teach these tricks and tips for overcoming self sabotage once and for all.  You can get all the details, including a great payment plan, right here:

You will find that finding True Love is not impossible, especially if you find someone to show you the way. Enjoy your recording and let me know if you have any questions about the summit.

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

If you look up "Self-Sabotage" in the dictionary…..

Is your picture there?

Have you been disappointed in love so many times that you feel like the Poster Child for Hooked on Losers Anonymous?

Stop!  This train is going nowhere fast.

We all sabotage ourselves when it comes to Love.  Even I do, and I KNOW what tricks my Saboteur uses. Even though I know that I know that I can attract Larry's highest and best self like magic when I want to, I still choose to close myself off to him when I feel hurt. 

My personal challenge is to keep a foot in the door of my heart so that I never go back to the isolation that was comfortable for me for so many years.  I continue to be my own Best Client and use my own tools to keep my Love Vibe high and humming!

How do you know if your Saboteur is wreaking havoc in your Soul Mate Attraction Plan?  Here are 5 sure signs that self-sabotage is flying under the radar of your Love Life:

1.  Super High Achievement and Success in Business, Career and Philanthropy:  Highly successful women are goal focused go getters.  If anything, the lack of love has fed their highly charged passion for success.  These women have zero time to focus on love and their careers fill in the gaps.  Time has slipped by for these women and many are dismayed to find themselves still single in their 40s.

2.  Passionate Relationships With Animals  What, you say?  How could my love for my horse, dog, parakeet or cat be in the way of Love?  Animals are one of the sweet treasures of life and my own Personal Comfort Animals (Thank You Boston Legal for this great term) Jade and Bunny are a blessing to me, BUT, and this is a big but…if you aren't careful, you can build a soul mate relationship with your four legged friend that steals your time from finding True Love. 

3.  Thinking You Need To Change Something Before You Find Love.  Do you think you need to lose weight, get out of debt, move to a new city or find a new job before the "timing is right" for manifesting your Soul Mate?  This is an old Saboteur trick and works like a charm.  You see, there will always be some hurdle to overcome before you 'qualify' in your own eyes to prioritize a Soul Mate Attraction Plan.

4.  Setting Frivolous Deal Breakers In Your Soul Mate Search.  Now, violence of any kind, alcoholism, drug addiction….all are deal breakers we can all agree on, but, and this is almost as big of a but as the last one….I hear the most self defeating list of deal breakers from my clients that you can imagine.  There are some great men out there…kind, gentle, giving men who are aching to pour their Love into a woman's heart. Many lonely women are not even looking in their direction because of self defeating deal-breakers they have set their hearts on.  Some include, height (vertically challenged), hair (follicly challenged) and athleticism.  Believe it or not, even vegetarianism, smoking, drinking and sleep patterns can all dictate a deal breaker mentality that may not be serving you.  Something to think about….

5. Constant Inner Chatter that it could be Too Late and/or that there is No Body Out There For You.  The mind is certainly the Saboteur's Playground.  You may have a regret or two, you may wish that you could reconnect to a lost love…welcome to the club.  There were good things in even the rockiest of relationships and these sparkling spots can blind you to the fact that there was a very good reason that relationship ended.  If you are passionate and committed to find a partner and you will not stop until you find him, you can overcome any obstacle.   Learning to control your thoughts and build confidence in your adorable self instead of constantly thinking about your singleness or your past is the goal.

So, has Self-Sabotage been showing up in your life?  Are you ready to take a stand for Love and put your Law of Attraction skills on the fast track?  Fab!  You are invited to a no-cost preview call Tomorrow Night, September 2 at 5 pm pacific/8 pm eastern.  I am going to share Three Bonus Love Breakthrough Secrets Critical Decisions you must make if Love is going to find your Heart. 

I will also be introducing you to the Four Saboteurs and giving hints on how to recognize which style is yours and how you can enlist her help so she is working For you instead of against you.

You can register right here:  http://forms.aweber.com/form/67/818546867.htm

See you on the call!

PS  One last form of self sabotage that is common among all of the four saboteur styles?  It is called the "I Already Know All That Syndrome."  If you feel yourself saying these words, here is a thought for you…
"What would I have to get from this call to make it worth an hour of my time."  Your Saboteur will LOVE this question.

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

"My younger sister is engaged." The email somberly reported.  "Could we book a session?  I am a mess."

Why is it the lack of a ring on your finger can cause so much pain?  Carole (not her real name) choked out her feelings.  "She is 9 years younger than me.  9.  Josh is crazy about her and he is so romantic it makes me sick.  My throat gets as tight as a knot.  Then I feel horrible.  I LOVE my sister.  I don't want to feel like this but I can't help it.  It should be me.  How can she get married first?"

Her story turned into sobs.  I sat silently on the phone and listened.  Like a spring storm, the sobbing subsided and blowing her nose, she sighed.  "What if it never happens for me?  What if I am a lonely bitter old woman with 100 cats?  I can't stand it…..and now I am going to have to be in HER wedding."  Sobs reignited….

                                                            **************

Slowly but surely Carole and I turned the flow of her thoughts back into a better place and she recommitted to her own personal love attraction plan.  There is no question that the engagement of a younger sibling, brother or sister, is a painful thing for the long time single woman.

That naked left ring finger makes a public spectacle out of itself.  There it is…out there for everyone to see….LOSER.   It takes a mighty strong woman to see this in herself, this branding from the lack of a ring.  It takes an even more magical woman to make the decision to do something about it.

Oprah and Goldie Hawn come to mind.  Two mega successful, beautiful, vibrant, talented and influential women who have naked left ring fingers.  What is it that separates them from other women who let frustration about their relationship status steal their happiness?

Can you control if you are single?  Obviously not or you wouldn't be reading this article.  Can you control how much LOVE is in your life?  Absolutely.  THAT I can teach you.

I run my ideas by my husband (soon we will be celebrating our 5th anniversary back in Hawaii where we tied the knot…*sigh*) because, not being a guy, I just want to make sure that my theories make sense.  He is 100% in agreement on this particular Soul Mate Attraction Secret:

There is nothing more attractive than a happy, confident woman.  Men cannot resist a genuine smile….the one that comes from deep inside.  That kind of smile works like magic.  Can you control how much true happiness is behind your smile?  Absolutely, I can teach you that too.

You are one tough cookie.  You have been on your own most of your life and you can take care of business.  If you are the women who contact me, you are also pretty darn tired of doing life by yourself.   Sound familiar?

I am hosting a second preview call this Thursday night, September 2, where I am going to share 3 Bonus Love Breakthrough Secrets and the Two Critical Decisions You Must Make if You Want To END Your Singleness For Good and I would love to have you on the call.

Some of you may have heard the first 5 Love Breakthrough Secrets class already, this class will be all new material.  If you want to be a part of a couple within the next 6 months, don't miss it. 

With these 3 secrets and 2 decisions added to your bag of tricks, can True Love be far behind?

You can register for the teleseminar by following this link:  http://forms.aweber.com/form/67/818546867.htm

See you there! Oh, and feel free to tweet all about this call to any friends who crave that ring on their own left finger!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

"She is SO dramatic," Megan complained. "You would think she is the only person to ever be mismatched on Match.com." 

"She never asks how I am. She goes on and on and on.  And, if I try to come up with a solution for what she is whining about….She pinches my head off."

"And," Megan pounded the table for emphasis, "What really pisses me off is that she has no trouble attracting men….they flock to her like bees to a flower."  "She goes through men like I go through mascara."

Can you relate?  Do you have a girl friend who is a Scarlett O'Hara?  I do.  One of my closest friends ever is a Scarlett and as a Snow White, I have been SO frustrated with her over the years.  Of course, being true blue to my Snow White tendencies, I haven't been so successful connecting to her over the years.

I love to help people.  I also get impatient when women allow themselves to be in awful circumstances and spend more time complaining than taking action to resolve the drama and trauma of the moment.  If a friend continually talks about what is not working in her life (very typical of Scarlett) she is like a runaway train.  If I CAN get a word in edgewise, she doesn't want to hear anything about her role in the drama.

As a Snow White, I like solutions and order.  I like crossing items off of to do lists and I love building and accomplishing things.  I suppose I am totally annoying to my Scarlett friends too.  Hmmm.  So here I sit this morning pondering.  How can a Snow White be a good friend to a Scarlett who is floundering a bit in life?

Here are a few suggestions:

1.  Find The Value Under Her Complaint:  If Scarlett is ranting about how her co-worker shirks her responsibilities and Scarlett has to do her work and the co-workers without any appreciation or compensation (A typical stuck place for Scarletts).  Instead of trying to 'coach' her into a better attitude (A VERY typical Snow White response) try this.  Search for the underlying Core Value to reflect back to her.  This will make her feel heard and that is sweet elixir for Scarlett.  For example:

Scarlett:  "I am furious with June.  She will not file at the end of the day and if I don't do it, our shared work space is a mess in the morning.  I can't stand it."

Snow White:  "So people being responsible for their workspace and doing the job they are paid for is important to you."

You will be shocked how this seems to soothe the heart of a Scarlett.  It takes some effort to find the Core Value…but it can be done.  So worth it if you want to connect to her.

2.  Set Parameters on Your Phone Conversations  I used to be constantly available to my various and assorted Scarletts (yes, I have attracted them all of my life!).  Because of my kind and sweet nature and my willing ear, I would spend hours on the phone comforting, cajoling and cheering on my friends and family.  Until….I realized that Scarletts tend to be Time Bandits.  They can steal time in a twinkling of an eye.  You know what I mean.  Now I start the conversations with a time limit.  Simply telling Scarlett that you have 15 minutes to focus on her and then honoring your own decision encourages her to cut to the chase.  At times, I will actually tell my Scarlett friends to give me the Cliff Notes version right up front.

3.  Ask If She Wants Help or To Vent  Be direct.  I know this is a big challenge for Snow Whites.  We tend to be the queens of understatement and clue giving.  I kiddingly say that I wish my hubby could read my mind.  Truth is he can't and neither can anyone else.  You learn to be assertive and kind and Scarlett will respond and respect you for it.  Plus, once you stop offering unsolicited help, she may very well ask for and follow your counsel when she is ready to change her circumstances.

4.  Encourage Scarlett To Engage With A Cause  There is not a Scarlett I know who is not passionate about one cause or another.  Whether it is the plight of the Palestinians, starving children in the third world, a myriad of political causes or animal rights, your Scarlett has a strong tendency to support causes.  If she is going through a tough time, she may not be acting on these primal urges.  You know her.  What does she care about.  Getting Scarlett to refocus on something bigger than herself is one of the most valuable gifts you can give.

5.  Four Magic Words That Open a Scarlett's Heart:  Scarlett can be challenging.  Swinging from wildly independent to needing constant propping up.  She is entertaining and bigger than life and can be a wonderful friend.  Snow White has a hard time with the drama and trauma but it is possible to forge a great alliance if you want it.  There are four magic words that will melt a Scarlett's heart and help her let down her guard every time.  Ready?  Here they are:  "You're right about that."  It is amazing how hearing those words helps Scarlett feel happier.  Don't bulls–t her.  She is very savvy and can sniff out insincerity a mile away, but do agree with her whenever you can.  As a Snow White, you may doubt how powerful this tool is.  Just try it.

*Oh and by the way, did you notice the asterisk in the title?  Well, that is there because we Snow Whites annoy the living tar out of our Scarlett friends and family.  I will write all about that in a future article.

And….most importantly, are there any Scarlett's out there who want to sound in and let us know how we can be better friends to you?  We would LOVE to hear from you!!!

Ready to turn your Snow White Weaknesses into Powerful Attraction Tools?  We are ready for you:
Check out the BE a Soul Mate Virtual Summit:  http://budurl.com/AttractLove

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

Attention: Snow Whites, Rapunzels, Sleeping Beauties and Scarlett O'Haras,

When Monica wrote to tell me she was pregnant, I was shocked and thrilled for her.  At 42, She had broken 7 engagements before meeting her soul mate on a blind date nearly 18 months after her Saboteur was transformed.  Today she has a two month old princess of her own and her dreams are coming true.  A Scarlett through and through, amazing magic happened when she used these tools!

PPPSS:  You can be in on the BE a Soul Mate Summit for as little as three payments of $147.  That's less than the cost of one visit to the Salon for your hair care.  You can do this if you really really want to!

http://budurl.com/AttractLove

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

One of these four characters holds the key to your Soul Mate Destiny.

If you are still single and not happy about it, take the time to skim this info.  You are manifesting a single life…like it or not, that is the truth of the matter.  The part of you that is making sure you stay single is your Inner Saboteur.

Ironically, your Saboteur thinks that the risk of New Love is way more painful than being alone.  What does that mean?  You either undermine every potential relationship before it has a chance to grow or you abandon the relationship before he abandons you.

So why Snow White, Rapunzel, Scarlett and Sleeping Beauty?  There are four Saboteur styles and I categorize them with imaginary characters to personalize them a bit.  This is not an evil force living inside you heart breaking your heart at every turn (even though it feels like that a lot of the time.)

No, this is a sensitive and caring part of you who just wants exactly what you want….TO BE LOVED AND FEEL HAPPY.  That's it.  Your Saboteur can be won over and recruited to help you attract True Love.  Wouldn't it be nice if your path to love was easier and more fun?

Once you know your Saboteur style, you can make a Soul Mate Attraction Plan with some real teeth.  Each style has it's own preferences and strengths.  Heck, she has been manifesting your singleness all these years and KNOWS how to get what she wants.  Convince her to work with you instead of against you and some real magic will happen.

Tonight I am teaching about the Four Saboteur Styles, how you can recognize which you might be and how to convince your Saboteur that you really don't want to be single anymore.  You have a strong inner concept of life as a single….it is all you have known for years.  What if your very self sabotage habits could lead to True Love?

It happened for me and I am sharing the tools I discovered on my way so you can attract True Love once and for all in my special no-cost teleseminar tonight at 5 pm pacific!  I hope I will see you on the call!

“How to Get The Perfect Man Into Your Bed: 5 Success Secrets From a Happily Married Wife”
with Catherine Behan
Wednesday, August 18, 2010 at 5 pm Pacific/7 pm Central/8pm Eastern
http://forms.aweber.com/form/23/1738063923.htm

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

I lived with a Frozen Heart for years and years and I didn't even know it.  All I knew is that I was achingly lonely….even and most poignantly when I was in relationships.

For most of my life, I attracted the worst from the men in my life. Whether it was rudeness, lewdness, cruelty or sarcasm, each and every man hurt me in some way. At least that is what I always thought. That is until I found something that changed everything for me.

At 57 and married to my second soul mate, I still have my lonely moments and occasionally feel myself going back to old patterns of thinking.  Thoughts like "Here we go again, I knew I would get hurt."  or "He isn't even trying to understand, what's the point." or "We are losing our connection, just like before….what if he isn't the one."

Yes, nearly 5 years into my fantastic marriage, thoughts still pop into my head, uninvited, that shake my security.  What is different now is that I have specific tools I use to stop thinking scared thoughts before they take on a life of their own.  When I catch myself early enough, I can switch it around pretty quickly and stay in the flow of delicious Well-Being.

I see that I have the power to attract Larry's highest and best and that is where I can put my confidence in our Love and keeping us together.  In my first marriage, I had such low regard for myself, I constantly attracted the lowest and least healthy of my man's thoughts, habits and behavior.

Where are you in all of this?  Do you attract honor and respect from the men in your life?  Run an internal survey.  List all the men you have regular contact with and see how you feel reflecting on each one.  If you are I used to be, walking around with a slowly thawing heart inside, you may notice a theme of sarcasm or criticism in men within your inner circle.  Be curious about the patterns you see.

Since I started using these tools, my own Love Vibration has been turned on it's ear.  Not did I bring in a man who was attracted to me a whole year before I knew it (a story I tell at a different time), I am still using these simple truths to keep growing my confidence as a wife and partner. If I can do this, so can you.

This Wednesday night, I am teaching the 5 simple secrets I used myself to so you too can build an irresistible Core Love Vibration that WILL attract the right man into your life.

If you struggle with shyness, withdrawing in social situations or over talking when you are anxious, you will LOVE this special one-time complimentary teleseminar. By the end of 75 minutes, you will understand how self sabotage is holding True Love away from you and you will feel more confident than you have in a long time.

Here is the registration information:

=========================

"How to Get The Perfect Man Into Your Bed: 5 Success Secrets From a Happily Married Wife"
with Catherine Behan
Wednesday, August 18, 2010 at 5 pm Pacific/7 pm Central/8pm Eastern
http://forms.aweber.com/form/23/1738063923.htm

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

Gina never makes it past the second date.  Megan brags that she abandons him before he can abandon her.  Terri hasn't had even an insignificant relationship in years.

What is going on?  Each of these women is beautiful, talented and powerful in certain parts of their lives.  Even though professionally they are admired for their achievements and leadership, when it comes to the choices they make in pursuit of True Love, you'd never know it.

This is where the Frozen Heart comes in.  When it comes to love, there is a part of your heart that refuses to be seen.  That hidden piece of your history is being guarded very well by your Inner Saboteur.  Some where you hold a belief that Love is disappointing, exquisitely painful and ultimately not worth it.  "Not me!" You might be thinking. "I am 100% sure I want to be married."  Really…I don't think so…

How do I know?

Is there a ring on your finger?

Your Inner Saboteur has one purpose.  She must keep your beliefs intact.  Especially beliefs about your safety and well-being.   With a part of your heart still frozen in time, believing that Love is painful, Your Saboteur believes she is protecting you by keeping that pain out of your view.  What does that have do to your Love life, or lack of?

The Inner Saboteur is running the show and you are the only one who can convince her to share the stage.  She is a Master Time Vampire.  She keeps you distracted and focused on mediocrity while time races right past you.  Check it out.  Exactly how long has it been since you have been head over heels in Love?

How do you know if your Inner Love Saboteur is activated?  Here are 5 signs to watch for:

1.  Procrastination.  No matter what your preferred style of sabotage, procrastination is always a major player.  A vicious cycle of perfectionism, unproductive busy-ness and poor planning result in a kind of quick sand.  You are pulled continually into a wasteland of excuses and inertia.  There is often a lot of self criticism that appears here and nothing drains your vibe like that inner critic.

2.  Distraction. Similar to procrastination but this one is more entertaining.  You know, you start one task in the kitchen and on your way to throw a load of laundry in, you notice the mail man is coming.  He is really friendly so you pop out to say hi and get the mail.  Then you remember you haven't checked your email.  Then it is noon.  You get the idea.  It is said that Distraction is the number one obstacle in manifesting your dreams.

3.  Complaining.  A sure sign that your Love Saboteur is up and around.  Finding fault with other people, places and circumstances is one of her favorite activities.  Gossiping about the missteps of others can be entertaining.  Maybe you feel better after telling someone else's sad story.  Go on a Complaint Fast.  Choose to stop complaining for one week.  Practice catching yourself and just stop. If you can't say it in front of the person, just choose not to say it.  Practice Lovingness.

4. Indecisiveness.  This is the most common sign of sabotage among the singles I talk to.  99% of them are completely undecided when it comes to what they want from a soul mate.  Try it:  "Do you want to be married?"  Did you say some form of:  "Not necessarily, I mean, you know, if it ends up like that, I don't mind, but I don't really need marriage."  This constant fudging about what you really want will ultimately put your manifesting into total stall zone.

5. Social Awkwardness or Anxiety  Many times, the part of the heart that is frozen is adolescent.  It breaks my heart to hear the stories of heartbreak in 6th through 12th grade.  Adult women, beautiful accomplished women, melt into little girls as they tell me the tale.  If you get overly shy or withdraw in social situations or under stress, The Saboteur goes into overdrive to protect you.  Just stepping outside and getting a breath of fresh air can be a life saver.  Simply remind yourself of another role in your life that reflects one of your strengths.  You can snap yourself out of it if you catch it early enough.

So what do you do?  First of all, don't freak out!  Your Saboteur looks at herself as a super-hero.  She believes she is saving the day.  I have a picture of Cat Woman as my Facebook Avatar to remind me not to be too hard on that part of myself that indulges in sabotage.

Remember, Your Saboteur wants the same thing you do….to be loved and feel happy.  If you convince her that you want to take a risk on love again, you will have a powerful ally to help you manifest the Love of your Life.

How do I know this?  Think about it.  This part of you, Your Inner Saboteur, is an amazing manifester.  She has manifested singleness…overcoming all odds to make it happen.  She is brilliant and not only is completely under-appreciated, she is blamed for the unhappiness that is resulting.

Food for thought, no?

What would be possible for you if self sabotage was a thing of the past?
                                               ♥♥♥♥♥

Curious? Check out the upcoming Complimentary Teleseminar:  How To Get The Perfect Man Into Your Bed: http://www.attractyoursoulmatenow.com/blog/how-to-get-the-perfect-man-into-yo…

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

"She poisoned his mind against me. Things were going fine until he started spending time with his ex. It is her fault.  He would be with me if she would just disappear."

Why is it so appealing to blame someone else for your heartbreak?  Sit in any Starbucks around the country and you can listen in on a similar conversation.  Frustrated women tell and retell the dramas of their love lives to anyone who will listen.  And most of them stay alone, frustrating them even more.

Then if some cheerful Law of Attraction afficionado comes across your path and starts chirping that you must be creating all this drama and you are ready to pinch their head off.  You can't be manifesting all of this heartbreak, all you want is Love and you have been chasing it for years to prove it!

So what is wrong?  One word.  Sabotage.  Since starting my coaching practice nearly 10 years ago, I have met the most engaging and beautiful single women all with one common fatal flaw…a part of themselves bound and committed to keep them single, a personal inner saboteur.

This powerful force, similar to an actual force field repelling True Love, comes from inside your own heart.  This True Love Saboteur has spent her life with one goal.  Ironically it is the same goal for the Outer You….to be happy and feel safe.  Somehow, many singles carry a belief that Love hurts more than it heals.  For many, Love has been something you have needed protection from.  True Love is supposed to protect you.

Every time I ask, "Do you think a part of you actually likes being single?"  I get a quick no but on further questioning, many long time singles admit that there are parts of the single life that work for them.

Aha!

Inner conflict will always bring a luke warm mediocre vibration resulting in…..luke warm and mediocre results.  Could this be you?  Here are 5 signs that your True Love Saboteur has been working hard under the radar to keep you happy, safe…..and single.

1.  Isolation.  Are you spending too much time alone?  Have your friendships shifted?  Do you complain that you are the one who calls friends for social events and no one calls you?  Is Facebook your main connection to the world?  Isolation is safe, but at what cost? Besides, how can you meet anyone if you don't get out! Your True Love Saboteur works overtime providing reasons to be alone.  Any little reason to miss a chance to be with people is enough.

2.  Procrastination.  Are you re-writing the same things on your to do list every day?  Do you even have a list?  Are you so busy doing the stuff of life that never gets done that you have zero fun going on in your life?  The Saboteur loves using this tool, it is so easy to nurture procrastination.  Look what an expert you are!

3.  Self Criticism.  Not only are you isolated and procrastinating, now you pick on yourself about it.  Do you compare yourself to others?  Do you dislike parts of your personality or physical appearance?  Deep self unacceptance is one of the most powerful tools the Saboteur can use and she can wield it like a dagger.  After all, if you don't accept yourself, could a Soul Mate ever have a chance?  This is the Saboteur's use of victim energy in disguise.  Not many recognize the victim vibe making it a sneaky block needing little maintenance.

4.  Excuses.  "I don't have money for the nicer dating sites."  "I am so busy with work and the kids, there is no time for dating."  "I hate my clothes.  I would need a new wardrobe before I could date."  "I hate my underwear."  It doesn't matter what the excuse, it is still an excuse.  Time is racing by, we are well into 2010.  How long will you let an excuse stand between you and fulfillment?  Your Saboteur is doing everything to keep you from making the decision you need to make.  Choose what you want, make a clear decision and move forward.  Do you want to be with a partner no matter what it takes?

5. Insatiable Need to Keep Trying.  I love this one.  As I said before, your True Love Saboteur wants the same thing you do.  To be happy and feel safe.  Somewhere deep inside, she as well as any part of you that is hesitant to try again, can't stop the desire to be loved and loved well.  You deserve it and I am here to tell you it is possible. At 57,  I am celebrating my fifth anniversary in Hawaii in a few weeks.  Meeting Larry and taking the risk of getting close to a man again was the best decision I could have made.  If I can do it, you can do it.

Your Saboteur is only valiantly doing the job you depend on her to perform.  Her one and only purpose in life is to police your beliefs to make sure they stay true.  Not talking about the wish list beliefs here or the affirmations you prepare.  I am talking about the true deep secret beliefs that you hold about your self worth.

The cool thing is, once you start to recognize your self-sabotaging thoughts, behaviors and beliefs, you can do something about it.  When your Saboteur realizes that you can feel happy and safe in new ways and that so can she, you will relax more deeply than you have in years.

We all want the same thing here after all.  It feels amazing to be loved and accepted.  Of course you are going to pursue that.  Address your sabotage tendencies and take action steps to address each one.  You will dramatically increase your personal magnetism as you accept yourself at this new level.  There is nothing more irresistible than a person 100% comfortable in their own skin.  It is always possible to deepen your sense of self worth.  Make a decision, research your options and take action.  As Gramma used to say, "Times a'wastin."

Wonder how strong Your Saboteur is?  I have a few time slots available for my last Love Magnet Readings.  Beautiful Jeanice, my assistant, will be doing the readings starting in September.  She is fabulous and you will love her.  If you do want to speak to me personally, however, you can register right here:  http://ResetYourLoveSetpoint.com

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous