Golf Instructions by Mr Golf

2016-07-19T01:45:00.001-07:00

Golf Club Sign

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.

3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.

5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.

8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.

10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL,

GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.

The Golfboard - a fun way to play golf

2016-05-27T02:04:00.001-07:00

Funny Professional Golfer Bloopers - Volume 5 (No repeats from other vol...

2016-05-27T00:35:00.001-07:00

2013-01-11T05:32:00.000-08:00

Testicle Therapy
>
> Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her
> ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
>
> The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands
> together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around
> in agony.
> The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
> 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physiotherapist and I know I could
> relieve your pain if you'd only allow me,' she told him.
>
> 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man
> replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still
> clasping his hands there at his groin.
> At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She
> gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his
> trousers and put her hands slowly and carefully inside. She then
> administered a tender and skillful massage for several long moments
> and softly asked, 'How does that feel'?
>
> 'Feels wonderful', he replied; 'but I still think my bloody thumb's broken! '

2012-10-24T03:25:00.000-07:00

OMG a golf magician - truly amazing!‏

This is what you call amazing

2012-10-15T03:24:00.000-07:00

OMG Look Out... What would you have done?

2012-09-30T23:21:00.000-07:00

Magnificent comeback; 4 down & win, by 14½-13½ congratulations to the 2012 Ryder Cup Captain & team, great job. Seve Ballesteros’s is :)))))

Ryder Cup 2021

2012-09-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

Good Luck to both sides may the best side win...

2012-08-24T04:19:00.001-07:00

parteecentral The day is finally here - Partee Augmented Reality Golf FREE - http://t.co/F6kdDOVc

Rory McIlroy at the top of his game - Golf, Sport - Belfasttelegraph.co.uk

2012-08-14T06:02:00.001-07:00

Rory McIlroy at the top of his game - Golf, Sport - Belfasttelegraph.co.uk

2012-07-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Ernie Els, the 2012 Open Champion Golfer of the Year.

4 worse golf shots els woods mickelson watney 2009 hsbc

2012-04-09T01:05:00.001-07:00

2012 Masters Champion.

2012-04-08T23:31:00.001-07:00

Congratulations Bubba, 2012 Masters Champion.

Phone Call‏

2012-04-08T01:37:00.000-07:00

Several men are in the locker room of the Golf Club. A mobile rings and a member presses the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I am in the Shopping Centre and found this beautiful leather coat in the Sales. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: “£68,000” MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ...The house I wanted last year is back on the market They're asking £895,000" MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of £850,000. They will probably take it. It's really a pretty good price." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..... He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

OMG Gator fight on golf course

2012-04-07T01:18:00.000-07:00

Martin Kaymer's water-skimming hole in one at Masters 2012 practice round – video

2012-04-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

Custom Golf Carts

2012-02-29T02:17:00.000-08:00

A new game was invented in Scotland.

2012-02-18T22:37:00.000-08:00

A new game was invented in Scotland. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only.Ladies Forbidden' & thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.

For the Love of Golf

2011-12-19T04:57:00.000-08:00

Four old friends were playing their weekly game of golf. One remarked
how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed
and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his pals
and play a round.

His friends all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a
priority; figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the
golf course.

The first player says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my
wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."

The second guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning
the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."

The third man says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car,
reading the manual."

They all turned to the last one of the group who is staring at them
like they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to such
expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the bum and said,
Well babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning for sex or golf,” and
all she said was, “You'll need a sweater.”

The Fifth Annual Eric Trump Foundation Golf Invitational

2011-10-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

Wimbledon Common Golf Club

2011-09-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

Wimbledon Common Golf Club
Looking to join a Friendly Golf Club? Look no further.. we are always accepting new members of all ages and abilities!

Par-Tee App Promo Video

2011-09-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Female golfers.........

2011-09-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look at the time!
I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He'll be so pissed if it's not ready on time."
When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf.
She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it.
"Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day?"
Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her golf partners about it, and they were all horrified.
"You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed!?
Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the clubhouse, and one of them said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the windowsill while he was licking his arse."

The Golf Fix: Chip it Close!

2011-09-12T02:07:00.000-07:00

Funny

2011-09-05T07:24:00.000-07:00