GoochiCoo Blog

A Mum's Nightmare

2010-08-05T11:14:00.002+01:00

I like to think we bring our little son up in the best possible way....but reminded today of

...when we had some renovation work at the house the builders were lovely and let my son Jack who was four at the time help them out, they gave him a toy hammer and I even bought him a Bob the builder construction workers hat.
At the end of the week they even gave him a little ‘wage packet’which he quickly wanted to spend.

So I took him over to the local newsagent where I explained that jack was now a working lad. “And will you be working next week as well?’ the kind shop keeper asked, well sighed Jack in a builder sort of way – if the bloody bricks turn up!

And the moral of the story is never think they can't hear!

Apparently crying babies are annoying

2010-07-02T06:00:00.000+01:00

Apparently crying babies are the biggest irritant on a flight according to this article in The Independent. A survey was carried out to discover this. Did anyone need to carry out this survey? A crying baby is probably one of the most stressful sounds anyone has to listen to.

If your baby decides to cry in public you get a lot of scornful glances. My second son cried a lot as a baby. He had colic in the evenings and he cried a lot in the day too. Once, on a shopping trip, he cried constantly. Someone told me it was because it was very boring for him lying in a pram looking at the ceiling (he was about a month old). Another person told me it was because he was uncomfortable in his pram. Complete strangers were full of unhelpful advice on why my baby was crying.

As a parent you dread your child carrying on like that when you're out and about. Just as you dread your newborn baby crying, you dread your toddler having a tantrum and you dread your four year old being rude to someone. But unfortunately it sometimes happens. And after a while you learn not to let it bother you, I find I'm past caring what people think when my children are playing up.

Being stuck on a plane with a crying baby must be horrible. Which is why we hardly ever fly on planes at the moment. The second most annoying thing on a plane? People talking loudly apparently. And whistling passengers aren't popular either. I find whistling really annoying. In fact give me a crying baby over someone whistling any day.

The dreaded developmental milestones

2010-06-29T06:00:00.000+01:00

My sons always seemed to meet those 'milestones'. They both rolled over at 4 months, sat up at 6 months, crawled at 8 months and walked at a year. I've always maintained that milestones don't mean anything, but I was also secretly pleased that my boys did things when they were supposedly meant to.

I have a little girl who's six months old. She's rolled over three times by accident and surprised herself by doing it. She's nowhere near sitting up and at this rate she might not even be crawling before the year is out. If she'd been my first child I would have been frantic with worry by now. I used to read all the books which told me what my child should be doing. And I used to see the health visitor regularly who would quiz me on how my son was progressing.

There's nothing wrong with my little girl, she's perfect. She's happy, smiley and very, very chilled. She's a completely different baby to my boys. They were always so desperate to be on the move and to be doing things. My daughter is different, she seems in no hurry to grow up and I like that. I'm quite happy with her staying babyish for now. She chills out in the baby gym or in the beanbag, plays with her toys and watches the world go by. And she loves lots of cuddles too.

It goes to show that each child is so different, even children with the same parents. My advice to anyone who's worried about their child not doing things when they 'should' is: don't. Plenty of my friends' children have met their milestones in different ways. I've experienced enough babies and young children to know that milestones don't mean very much. Obviously some children will experience difficulties as they grow and if you're worried then you can probably speak to your health visitor.

Other than that, don't stress about when your child does stuff, it makes no difference to how they'll be when they're older. And I'm certainly in no hurry for my daughter to move about that's for sure!

Toys: outside, inside or both?

2010-06-25T06:00:00.000+01:00

As I emptied sand out of a toy bendy bus yesterday I remembered that a friend of mine won’t allow her children to take their toys outside into the sandpit. They have a strict indoor toy / outdoor toy rule.

I don’t usually give this any thought, the children are allowed to take toys outside and roll them around in sand and mud baths, etc. The space shuttle did untold damage to one of my plants the other day.

If I started to get strict on what toys my children took into the garden on a summer’s day it would become a full-time job. “Fireman Sam and his fire engine stay in the house please,” “Did I just see Lightning McQueen on the patio?” and so on. To be honest there isn’t enough time to be vetting what they’ve got in their hands as they wander in and out of the house. Like some mummy doorman.

The problem is if you let your children outside with toys, then the toys are more likely to get damaged. They get filled with mud and sand, buried, left out in the rain and scraped on the gravel.

My children have lots of toys, over the past few years they’ve been given loads and loads of things. So if toys get damaged in the garden maybe it’s not a big problem. Am I teaching my children not to value toys with this approach? But maybe toys aren’t important and it’s better for children to value the really important things in life rather than the material ones.

I suppose when they start having more expensive toys like games consoles then they’ll have to learn to be more careful with them. So for now I’ll let them do what they want with their toy cars. To be honest it keeps them happy. Anything for an easy life, even if the occasional bendy bus gets ruined along the way.

What do your children have for a comforter?

2010-06-22T06:00:00.002+01:00

This is Fifi with her GoochiCoo doll which her Mum, Claire, won in our GoochiCoo doll competition a little while back. Apparently Fifi spends a lot of her time wandering about like this. So cute! This photo made me think about comforters and what children use to comfort themselves.

My four year old is very attached to the muslin blankets he had as a baby. He takes them to bed with him and has them whenever he's feeling sad or tired. He also sucks his thumb which the dentist has told us he needs to stop doing. Thankfully he has lots of muslin blankets so I can sneakily replace and wash them without him noticing too much.

My two year old doesn't have anything like this, but he sucks his thumb too. My six month old is too young for a comforter yet. All of them had dummies as little babies but lost interest in them.

Some children I know get very attached to a certain cuddly toy as a comforter, and if you don't have a spare it must be worrying. We all know comforters get filthy, so how do you wash them if you only have one? And it must be horrifying if that one comforter gets lost somewhere. How do you deal with that?

I find it interesting that children feel the need for a comforter. I guess it's just a little bit of familiarity and security for them. I had bits of cut up bed sheet (for some reason) and a cuddly panda who sits on my chest of drawers even now. Yes, sometimes he still gets a cuddle.

Thank you very much to Claire for sending us the picture!

Celebrity Dad of the Year is Peter Andre

2010-06-18T06:00:00.001+01:00

Have you heard that Peter Andre has been voted Celebrity Dad of the Year? Over 35,000 people voted on the Bounty website and Peter came out tops. In second place is Jeff Brazier and third is Gary Barlow.

It makes me wonder how you decide on Celebrity Dad of the Year. What are the criteria? Most celebrity dads are no doubt good dads. But I wonder how hands on they are. Celebrities have quite a lot of staff don't they? Celebrity parents almost always have nannies. And cleaners. And assistants. And stylists. And drivers. In fact their lifestyle means they have people to do all the mundane stuff while they do the fun stuff.

Do you think this applies to their parenting too? Nannies probably do all the mundane stuff like discipline, dressing the children and getting them to eat their greens. And then celebrity mums and dads do the fun things with their children. When the children start a tantrum or get overtired then they probably get handed back to the nanny.

This is how I like to imagine celebrity parents, I've no idea if it's true or not. I quite like the idea of only doing fun stuff with my children. Most of the time I'm saying things like, "Get your shoes on now or I'm leaving the house without you," "Sit on your chair properly," "No you've watched enough telly today." And so on. Wouldn't it be great having a nanny to do all that for you while you had a photoshoot with OK! magazine or went to the salon? And when you got back you'd have perfectly behaved children to play with.

Honestly though, motherhood for me will always have to be hands on. Yes it can be difficult at times, but when my children are upset it's me they come to for cuddles. That's because I'm there for them through the rough and smooth. Some people choose to do it differently and that's fine too.

So I'm happy Peter Andre is Celebrity Dad of the Year (stop snorting at the back). Because, really, who are we to judge who's a good dad or not? It's a bit token, but celebrating parenthood is a positive thing.

Yes I know it isn't Peter Andre in the photo but I didn't sort out a copyright free picture of him. If you click on the Bounty link you'll see Peter in all his gloriousness.

When do you get your child a pet?

2010-06-15T10:58:00.001+01:00

Pets supposedly teach children important lessons about life: how to care for someone else and how to cope when they're not around any more. Because pets are invariably shorter lived than us, most of us have memories of being distraught when the family pet died.

I think children can learn from pets but only once they reach a certain age. My four year old wants a dog and a rabbit and a hamster. But I know that a lot of the caring and cleaning out would become our responsibility. I think it's good to wait until your child can do the looking after bit themselves.

My brother got two guinea pigs when he was eight years old. We thought they were the same sex until one got fat and had some babies. Then they kept escaping out of their hutches and two guinea pigs very swiftly became 14. That's a lot of guinea pigs for an eight year old to look after. At the same time my sister had a wayward rabbit which also kept escaping and digging up the neighbour's lawn. My Dad would repeatedly reinforce the rabbit's enclosure until it resembled Fort Knox, but the rabbit still got out.

My sister had hamsters which never lived very long leading to numerous family funerals and burials in shoeboxes. We also had a cat and then another who sadly died after being hit by a car.

This past weekend I've been reminded of the emotional rollercoaster of having a pet when one of our cats was hit by a car. She's very injured but she's recovering after a stay at the vet's. It's made me realise the children are too young to have pets of their own, my four year old understands she's poorly but doesn't give her much thought.

So I know he's too young to have empathy with an animal and that it needs to be a few years before he understands the needs of a pet and what he can do to care for it. Otherwise it would be another dependent in the house needing our attention.

But I suppose that's what happens with family pets, ultimately they're you're responsibility. I grew up with animals around and I think it's a lovely experience for children. But animals can also be hard work and don't even get me started on vet's bills. I think you have to think carefully before you get your child a pet, and hopefully everyone benefits then.

The long and tortuous road of potty training

2010-06-11T11:43:00.000+01:00

I'm trying to potty train my toddler at the moment. Even though I've already been through it with his older brother, I'm finding it hard. When I did it last time my son was my only child. But now I have two others to look after while I'm also trying to chase around after my toddler with the potty.

This GoochiCoo character is called Pooperman, a very good description for babies and toddlers! Sometimes the nappy changing seems endless, especially as I have two children in nappies at the moment. I can't wait to get my toddler potty trained but getting there can be difficult.

He understands what the potty is for and he tells me when he's doing something but we haven't yet managed to get him on the potty in time. I know it helps if you can get them to sit on the potty for a while and hopefully something will happen during that time. But I can't master that yet. I bribed his older brother with chocolate buttons to do that, but he doesn't like chocolate buttons.

Yes I know you're not supposed to bribe children with chocolate buttons, the writers of baby advice books would be horrified. But you can follow all the calm, logical steps in a book to potty train your child and they just resist you or do something completely unpredictable. I think you just have to a find a way which works with each child because they're all different.

And as for these claims that you can potty train a child in three days or similar, I'm not sure I believe that. Maybe it's possible if that's all you focus on solidly for three days. But to be honest, life happens as well doesn't it? I've got two other children to look after and I work from home too so potty training has to be squeezed in with everything else I do. And one thing my toddler is very well trained in at the moment is having an accident while I'm feeding the baby.

We'll get there. Eventually.

What's the best age to have a baby?

2010-06-08T10:03:00.000+01:00

Did you know the average age for a first-time mother is now 29? Last year more than 27,000 babies were born to women over 40. In 1989 this figure was just over 9,000.

We're all having children later in life. Probably because we want some sort of a career before children come along and we might want to buy a house first too. And sometimes you don't meet someone you want to have children with until you're older.

I had my children at 31, 33 and 35. Ideally I would have been a few years younger, but these things don't always go to plan. I like to believe young children keep me young (I'm probably wrong but I like to believe it anyway).

If I'd had my children in my twenties I don't think I would have struggled so much with the tiredness. You definitely have more energy in your twenties and lack of sleep doesn't seem to affect you as much. I have some friends in their early forties with young children and they say it can be completely exhausting at times.

However my twenties were useful for working, fun, travel and general life experience. I'm not sure if I was emotionally mature and confident enough for children ten years ago.

I'm not sure I would want to have a baby at 40. But what do I know? I'm not 40 yet and maybe I won't feel too different to how I am now,

It's impossible to say that a 40 year old parent is better than a 20 year old one and vice versa. Younger parents probably have more energy and older ones probably have more wisdom. I don't think it matters what age you are when you have children, it's more important that you have the ability to give them what they need.

So are you an average aged parent? A spring chicken? Or a wrinkled granny?

These figures are from the Office for National Statistics. And while we're on the topic, apparently the average woman has 1.97 children. So not quite two children then. How does that work? Lies, damn lies and statistics.

Do you buy designer clothes for your child?

2010-06-04T06:00:00.000+01:00

Suri Cruise has a wardrobe worth £1 million apparently. I found this out in this article earlier in the week. There's a nice picture of Suri trotting about in heels. Yes heels. She's four years old.

The article also talks about parents who like to splash out on designer label clothes for their children. It's easy to snort at people like this and accuse them of replacing love and affection with money. But if you were really, really wealthy maybe you would spend a lot on your child? £200 on a designer dress for your daughter would be nothing if you were worth millions. You'd no doubt love your child just the same.

This same article mentions some parents who spend a fortune on their children's clothes but only earn an average wage themselves. I'm not sure how they manage that, maybe they don't eat or something. Again, it's easy to be critical but if their children have love and attention too then perhaps it's not a problem?

I suppose if you spend a lot of money and time on how your child looks, they could grow up thinking appearance is more important than anything else. That's not an ideal message for them. But it does reflect society, isn't the media obsessed with looks?

I don't see anything wrong with buying expensive clothes for your child as long as they still have a loving, balanced upbringing. And even those of us who are trying to be perfect parents and give our children a balanced upbringing are going to mess up somewhere along the way.

But heels on a four year old. I have to draw the line at that. Surely she's going to grow up with strange shaped pointy feet? And wearing heels suggests no running, jumping and climbing trees. Isn't that what four year olds love to do? Maybe I'm just a little bit jealous of her £1 million wardrobe. Mine's probably worth fifty quid.

Photo credit

Baby facts and figures

2010-06-01T06:00:00.003+01:00

Here are some facts and figures on babyhood I've put together:

2,190: nappies a baby gets through in its first eighteen months

1,825: bottles of milk a baby gets through in its first year (if bottlefed from birth)

852: hours spent breastfeeding if you do it for baby's first year

5,475: hours a baby sleeps in its first year. That seems like quite a lot, I might have got it wrong

2,190: hours of sleep you get in baby's first year. That also seems like quite a lot

157: times you get asked if your baby's walking yet

253: how often your baby empties their food bowl onto the kitchen floor

15,875: times your purse or wallet gets emptied

465: times you notice your purse or wallet has been emptied when you're about to pay for something in a shop

8,123,478: how often you have to wipe your baby or child's nose before they read the age of 3

I think I maybe making up some of these figures now. I did genuinely work them out at the start of the post. I've just thought of another:

123,457,112: items of clothing washed in baby's first month

Okay so I'm guessing a bit now. Let's just say it feels like that much.

The half-term headache: glad it's not me. Yet

2010-05-28T06:00:00.000+01:00

Next week is half term. Up and down the country parents will be wondering what to do with their offspring. Unless they’re teenagers and then I suppose they sit about in their bedroom playing game consoles (is that what teenagers do? I don’t have one).

It must be hard work suddenly having to entertain your children during the school holidays. Thinking of imaginative things to do so they don’t get bored. I like to go out and about and spot the frazzled parent who would probably much rather be in work than trying to do stuff with their demanding, bored children.

That’s a bit mean of me really. But I also feel a bit smug because I can do what I want with my children whenever I want. I’m not constrained by school terms and school holidays. My four year old does a few days at pre-school each week, but we still have plenty of time to please ourselves.

I’m not constrained by school terms and holidays. Yet. But my four year old starts school this September. And suddenly I’ll have to do the school run every day. With two younger children in tow. I’ll have to be on time too. I was often late for school myself, but I can’t be any more. This is for my son, it’s not fair to impose my poor timekeeping on him.

We’ll no longer be able to do the cheaper out of term holidays. Well we could try, but teachers get a bit annoyed about that sort of thing don’t they? It’s suddenly dawning on me that my son starting school is going to be really constraining.

Some people choose to home educate, that keeps your days flexible. They’re brave people in my view. My children barely listen to me as it is, the second I'd start trying to sit them down and teach them things I’d have mutiny on my hands.

I’m making an effort to do some educational things with my four year old. But I have to catch him when he’s in the right mood, and that happens rarely. I’m sure a teacher would do a much better job than me.

So next week I’ll stay away from the visitor attractions and shopping centres because they’ll be filled with families on half-term. And after that I think we need to do a whirlwind tour of day trips and make the most of being able to do stuff in term time.

My little boy’s starting school and he’s growing up *sob*. That’s a blog post for another time.

Keeping children cool when it's hot

2010-05-25T06:00:00.001+01:00

"Mummy I want it to be cold again," this is what my four year old said to me yesterday. My children are very sensible about hot weather, whereas I'm the first to leap out and sun myself in the garden they prefer to keep themselves cool indoors.

And because my children run a mile whenever I produce the sun cream or a sun hat, it's probably a good thing that they stay indoors when the weather's scorching hot.

A paddling pool is a great way to cool children down in hot weather. But ours always burst. I don't know how or why but we go through paddling pools like other people go through toilet roll (I'm not sure if that's a nice comparison actually). We buy a paddling pool, pump it up, fill it with water and then it deflates a short time later.

You can get puncture repair kits for paddling pools. Have you ever tried to find the tiny puncture hole in a paddling pool? It's impossible. Last year we went through three paddling pools. And that was with hardly any hot, sunny weather too. Friends of mine just re-use the same one they've had for years. How?

We're not sure that we'll get a paddling pool this year because we're so bad at looking after them. Buying a paddling pool and then throwing it away a week or two later is not good for the environment. I blame the children, and I blame the cats. I think I'll blame my husband too.

My four year old probably won't miss a paddling pool because he's learnt how to turn on the outdoor tap. And attach the hose to it. And then spray his little brother with cold water. He did it in February. I think I'd rather be sprayed with cold water on a hot day than in February.

I've found the children like having various buckets, bowls and watering cans filled with water. They like to put things in them and then throw the water around. The end result being a soaking of course. And I've just remembered water bombs from my youth, we used to fill balloons with water and throw them at each other. My boys have yet to own those enormous water pistols too, they'd love them. Our neighbour has an enormous water pistol. It's a water machine gun. Slightly violent connotations maybe. And he doesn't have children either. Hmmm.

The easiest way to keep the children cool in really hot weather is to stay indoors. And then you don't need to worry about sunburn, sun stroke, dehydration, heat rash or any of those other hot weather ailments. And staying indoors is better for my skin too when the sun's very strong. But staying indoors is something you usually do when it's raining. I'm confused now, we can't cope with extreme weather can we?

Can you have a relaxing holiday with young children?

2010-05-21T06:00:00.001+01:00

We spent a few days in Devon earlier this week. We crammed half the contents of the house into the car and set off down the motorway hoping for a bit of relaxation.

I’ve learnt that almost two year olds are baffled by holidays and mini-breaks. They don’t understand why they’re suddenly having to sleep in a different bed and eat different food in different bowls with different spoons. A holiday is too different for a toddler. They tell you this by shouting a lot and refusing to go to sleep at bedtime.

Babies somehow know when they’re somewhere different too. I was certain my baby wouldn’t be able to tell between one travel cot and another, but she did. The result was a baby, and a toddler, refusing to go to sleep at night. This wasn’t very helpful when we’d arranged to meet friends for an evening and a friend’s parents were babysitting.

Call me fussy, but I don’t want to go out for the evening when two of my children are wailing because they’re in a different place. I wanted to wait until they were quiet. So I did. I sat by the bedroom door reading Steve Wright’s Book of Factoids (there’s always good reading material in a holiday cottage) in between settling the children. I don’t think my friends were too impressed, but what can you do? I felt sorry for the children being totally baffled about where they were.

Four year olds, on the other hand, get very excited about going away. A little bit too excited. Jumping up and down and repeatedly yelling, “Can we go to the beach?”. Yelling “Can we go to the beach?” at 7am. Yelling “Can we go to the beach?” at bedtime and leaping around and shouting the rest of the time too. And when he wasn’t yelling about going to the beach, he was on the beach. He loved it.

A completely unrelaxing break. I didn’t know how lucky I was when we could laze around on holiday reading books and having stress-free meals in local restaurants.

Holidays these days are unrelaxing. But they’re fun. And in years to come they’ll be even more fun. When all the children are old enough to understand what’s happening.

Have you got a Mucky Pup?

2010-05-18T06:00:00.001+01:00

I've definitely got a child like this. Imagine the biggest, fattest, juiciest worm you've ever seen. That's what my toddler had in his hand the other day. Big fat worm was given a tour of the garden then put on a toy bus and rested on the toy garage the children had out there. This was too much for my four year old who didn't like big fat worm. We finally managed to persuade toddler to put big fat worm in the flowerbed.

Some children seem to love creepy crawlies, my toddler often brings something to put in my hand and, all too late, I realise it's an ant, woodlouse or spider. But my older son thankfully doesn't go near things like that. He likes mud though.

Both my children love mud. Whenever they're in the garden they manage to come up with a combination of sand or soil and water. Within minutes they can be coated in mud. My first instinct is to tell them off for getting dirty, but I bite my tongue each time. Children should be allowed to get dirty, it's an important part of growing up. Spreading mud everywhere is er... creative.

Muddy children means extra washing, but I do a lot of washing anyway. And playing with mud does make children very happy. Until older brother dumps some on younger brother's head and wailing starts, that's the point when I have to intervene.

But as for the creepy crawlies, they still give me the shivers. I always make sure they survive though. A spider nearly got squashed a by a squeezy Thomas the Tank Engine bath toy recently but I saved its life. Probably to be picked up and played with another day.

GoochiCoo character: Mucky Pup

How to cope with toddler tantrums

2010-05-14T06:00:00.001+01:00

One of my least favourite things about young children: tantrums. Why do they have them? Because:

They're trying to influence events around them
They've suddenly realised they're not the centre of the universe
They're testing the boundaries and your limits
They don't know how else to express themselves
They want attention
They're frustrated because they can't communicate properly
They need to let off steam (don't we all?)
They're tired
They're hungry
It's Wednesday
You're trying some clothes on in a very quiet changing room in a shop
You took your purse away from them after they posted your credit cards down between the floorboards

In short, toddlers tantrum for any reason at all. And sometimes no reason at all. It's often a shock when you discover how early on they do it. My almost two year old can tantrum for England, he's much worse than his brother was. I swear he had his first tantrum at 10 months old.

How do you stop tantrums? You can't. There's a theory that if you deal with them in the right way then the tantrums are less frequent. The best way to deal with a tantrum is to ignore it I think. I'm not sure they tantrum less often but it can make the tantrums shorter if they realise screaming isn't getting them anywhere. And there's another theory that if you let them get on with kicking and screaming then they get to vent all their anger and are cute and sweet again in no time.

Tantrums in public are the worst. It's not so easy to ignore these because your child is irritating everyone within a 500 metre radius. But ignore them or distract them are probably the best things to do. And don't worry what other people think. I've overheard people moaning about my tantruming children before, but so what? Yes it's annoying, but you're only doing your best. I've given up worrying about my children embarrassing me, after all, I'll be embarrassing them when they're in their teens.

I think the important thing is to give your child attention as soon as the tantrum stops, wait until they're quiet and then chat to them or give them a cuddle if they got very distressed. That way you're giving them the message: screaming = no attention, calm = attention.

But what do I know? These are just my ideas. And to be honest my children scream and shout a lot. My four year old still does it. I think it helps to breath deeply and go to a happy place in your head when your child is having a tantrum. In fact, I think I do that most of the time anyway.

The easiest age when bringing up children

2010-05-11T09:37:00.001+01:00

I'm trying to work out what the easiest age is when you're bringing up young children. I've come up with this table to help me:

Age	Good things	Not so good things
0-3 months	Cute, easily transportable	Cries a lot, wakes up at night
4-7 months	Begins to play with own toys, interactive	Weaning is very messy, teething
8-12 months	Starts to move about	Starts to move about, teething
13-18 months	Develops cute babble talk	Pulls wires out of the back of the telly, covers the cat with talcum powder, throws car keys down the toilet, starts throwing tantrums, teething
19-24 months	Learns how to play on their own or with siblings and friends	Screams when you don't understand the cute babble talk, draws on walls, learns to throw a tantrum whenever you're trying to do something else, teething
24+ months	Oh dear, terrible twos...	More of the same. And the crying and waking up at night doesn't really stop at the newborn stage either. And there's teething

I'm worried I've not painted a very positive picture here. I haven't come to a conclusion on what the easiest age is either. There isn't one. Friends I know with younger children than mine ask if things get easier as they get older. It's hard to reply with a 'yes' isn't it?

Never mind, I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes it would be nice to have a quiet life in an immaculate house. That will happen in twenty years time and then I'll be nostalgic for these years and wishing my children were babies again.

Who's in charge?

2010-05-07T09:37:00.001+01:00

So after yesterday's election we're not really sure who's in charge of the country? Should we worry? No, I'm sure they'll sort it out amongst themselves.

More importantly, who's in charge in your house? I like to think my husband and I are in charge in our house (well just me actually). Most of us like to think this, but in reality the person in charge can be two years old. Or a dog. My sister once had a rabbit which was in charge of the house.

When I give it some thought I realise my children are in charge of the house. My baby girl dictates my sleeping patterns and I only cook food that the boys will eat because the stress of doing otherwise is too much. And as for getting out of the house, the children are definitely in charge. I get ready to leave at a set time but then the children have hidden one of their shoes, refuse to put a coat on, need to go to the toilet or refuse to leave unless they've got five carefully selected toys with them.

This obviously means I'm mainly late. And when I blame the children for my lateness people give me a harsh look. I now realise it's not the done thing to blame your children for these things, you have to be a responsible parent who's in charge. It's hard to feel like one though isn't it?

One of our GoochiCoo doll competition winners, Sarah Cruickshank, has sent us a photo of her with her GoochiCoo doll. Thank you Sarah!

And another winner, Susan Mann, has written about her GoochiCoo doll on her blog. Thanks very much to Susan too!

So remember for this weekend: make sure you're in charge. Someone needs to be!

How much TV does your child watch?

2010-05-04T10:23:00.000+01:00

Another one of those reports has come out saying that too much television at a young age can affect your child's educational ability. It's recommended that a two year old watches no more than two hours of television a day.

That's quite a lot isn't it? Am I right in thinking most two year olds wouldn't sit still anywhere near long enough to watch two hours? And it's not clear whether the two hours is broken up throughout the day or one long session.

The article I've linked to quotes the National Literacy Trust as saying that watching some "high-quality, age-appropriate educational" television is good for two to five year olds. I think CBeebies provides lots of programmes like these.

So it's not necessarily how much your child watches, but what they watch too. And surely what's also important is what they do the rest of the time? If your toddler has attention from you and has time to play, look at books and get out and about, then watching television can't be too harmful. Surely it's all about balance?

The reports about the harm of television can strike fear into some parents. Many of us use it to give ourselves a little bit of a break in the day. We all know children shouldn't sit in front of the television all the time and we know children should only watch what's appropriate for them. There will always be families who don't worry about too much television, and they won't worry about the latest report either.

So I'm not going to feel guilty about my children watching television. Or guilty about those days when maybe they watch a little bit more than they should because I'm extra tired from a sleepless night with the baby. It's only CBeebies anyway. I can't see Mr Tumble doing much harm, or maybe that's where I'm wrong...

Some great photos and why bank holidays are different now

2010-04-30T10:58:00.001+01:00

One of our competition winners, Susan Mann, has sent these lovely photos of her 15 month old son Tyler with his GoochiCoo doll.

Very cute! Thanks very much Susan for sending them to us.

I hope you enjoy your bank holiday weekend. I've been thinking about how bank holiday weekends have changed now I have children.

Years ago I would look forward to three long lie-ins after working hard all week. These days there are no long lie-ins after working hard all week.

We used to go on a leisurely day trip somewhere and then have an impromptu evening out. There's no such thing as a leisurely day trip with young children is there? You can still do it but only after you've spent two hours packing everything you need and getting the children ready. Then you've got to get your timings right and make sure the baby doesn't need a feed while you're travelling. And if you're not home in time for bedtime you've got an overtired mess on your hands.

As for an impromptu evening out, those are a thing of the past too. These days we have to book a babysitter a few weeks in advance and then make sure we're back for a certain time so she can go home. We don't go out very often!

But I wouldn't have it any other way really. And if the weather's nice we can play with the children in the garden. Earlier in the week I let them draw on the patio with chalks and they thought it was one of the most exciting things ever! It's the little things that keep them happy sometimes.

Enjoy your weekend!

Where do you get your parenting advice from?

2010-04-27T13:52:00.001+01:00

Parenting advice is big business, wherever you turn there are books, magazines and websites telling you how to bring up children.

There is no shortage of experts either: Supernanny, Gina Ford, and Tracy Hogg the ‘Baby Whisperer’ to name a few. When I was a baby, Benjamin Spock was the child rearing expert. Baby and parenting advice goes back hundreds of years. And during that time there have been crazes and fads and endless debate around rigid routine versus something more relaxed.

You can easily be baffled by parenting advice, as if being a parent isn’t baffling enough.

So where do you get your advice from? When I had my first baby I read a huge pile of baby advice books. But the things he did and didn’t do were different to what the books said. By the time he was a month old they were ditched.

Family and friends can be quite useful for baby advice. However advice from older generations can often reflect what was fashionable in their time, eg the obsession with having your baby sleep outside in its pram. Advice on sleep and weaning has changed a lot in the past thirty years.

Advice from family and friends is all very well and can be helpful, but each baby is unique as is each parent. What works for other people doesn’t always work for you.

What about online? There are zillions of parenting forums where you can get your questions answered. It’s very useful to be able to post a question and receive lots of helpful suggestions. I find I can do it on twitter too.

I think other people can only help to a limited extent. You’re the one who knows your child the best and sometimes in life you’re thrown into the deep end and have to get on with it. Parental intuition is what many of us end up replying on. And when that fails us and things get tough, there’s cake.

Here’s a funny post on ten things the baby books wouldn't dare tell you

Give peas a chance

2010-04-23T09:00:00.002+01:00

This is one of my favourite GoochiCoo characters because it makes me think of my sons. Before I became a parent I thought fussy eating in children was the parent’s fault. I thought it would be easy to get your child eating everything as long as you were firm with them. How wrong was I?

When my first child was being weaned, I spent ages preparing various foods and meals for him. By the time he was a year old, most of these were spat straight back at me. I couldn’t believe a one year old could be fussy about his food, but he was. They have opinions at such a young age!

His little brother was quite good with food until he reached the opinionated age of one. And now he’s as fussy as his brother. Some of the behaviour is learnt. So if big brother refuses to eat something, the chances are little brother will refuse it as well.

There are some foods which both boys love: pasta, yoghurt, breadsticks and fruit. I’ve fallen into the trap of giving them these foods regularly because I know they’ll eat them and won’t be hungry and grumpy. Now and again I try something different but it’s usually rejected and I feel I’ve wasted a lot of time and effort.

It’s very easy to worry about your child’s eating. My second son won’t eat meat, fish or eggs and I worry about him getting enough protein. He likes cheese though so I’m hoping that’s enough for him.

I hope over time that the children will eat a wider range of food. I think young children love predictability and repetition, they’re not to keen on different things. My four year old will occasionally surprise me by eating something green, so there’s hope yet.

As for peas, my boys still haven’t given them a chance. But then neither has my sister and she’s *whisper* thirty something.

If babies could talk

2010-04-20T10:10:00.000+01:00

"You think I'm going to go to sleep in this cot just because you've put me in it?"

"I don't care if there's housework to do and other children to look after, I want you to pull stupid faces at me all morning."

"That's a lovely looking new top you're wearing. Uh oh I can feel something coming up."

"I think everything looks better when it's coated with a layer of pureed butternut squash."

"I know that pushing me around in the pushchair usually gets me to sleep, but today I've decided it's not going to."

"Grandpa might be pleased to see me, but I'm still going to cry when he tries to talk to me."

"Yes I know it's three o'clock in the morning but you have had some sleep, surely you can play for a bit?"

"Why would waving a noisy brightly coloured plastic thing in my face make me stop crying?"

"You spent some time making me this food did you? Well I'm not in the mood for eating."

"I'm going to roll over so you can't get my nappy on."

"I know I'm the most grumpy and badly behaved with you, but it's only because I love you the most."

It would help if they talked wouldn't it? But then again, once they are talking they argue with you. I think the cooing and gurgling is a nice stage.

Do you know someone who's just had a baby or a little one turning 1, 2 or 3? You can send them a GoochiCoo card free of charge via moonpig! To use the GoochiCoo Birthday Club just e-mail the details of who the card is for to blog@goochicoo.com. We won't use the information for anything else.

What you need in your hospital bag

2010-04-16T06:00:00.001+01:00

One of my friends is about to have a baby. Last weekend she had some regular contractions and thought it was labour. She went into hospital and had to stay there for 24 hours. The contractions stopped and she was allowed home again.

While she was sitting about in hospital my friend was bored stupid because she hadn't packed anything in her hospital bag for entertainment such as a magazine, book or iPod.

We got talking about this and agreed we wouldn't think to pack anything like that in our hospital bags. After all, if you're rushing to hospital in labour you're expecting to have a baby shortly and we all know that leaves no time for reading magazines.

But labour is unpredictable and sometimes you get a false alarm like my friend did. And if you have to stay in hospital for one reason or another then having something to do is helpful. So that's my tip for a hospital bag: pack a magazine or book. The chances are you won't read it, but you never know!

What else do you need?

Baby:
- Baby vests, sleepsuits, hat, jacket / snowsuit
- Nappies, wipes, cotton wool and nappy bags
- Muslin squares
- Blanket
- Towel
- Top and tail bowl for washing
- Bottles and formula (if using)

You:
- Nightwear, dressing gown and slippers
- Towel
- Change of clothes
- Underwear (including nursing bras and breast pads)
- Maternity sanitary towels
- Camera
- Snacks including bottles of water
- Toiletries
- Antibacterial wipes
- Magazine or book

These lists seem a bit short, I think there are things I've forgotten.

I've just thought of another top tip: have another bag with changes of clothes in for you and the baby packed and left at home. If you have to stay in hospital longer than expected after the birth, you'll need your other half to bring in this bag. Otherwise they'll be frantically going through all your clothes and the baby clothes with no idea what to bring in. I speak from experience.

And if you don't read the magazine you pack in your hospital bag, then you'll probably get round to reading it when your baby's three years old. Maybe.

How many children is enough?

2010-04-13T07:00:00.001+01:00

There are currently rumours that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting another baby. If this is true, then it will be their seventh child. It's probably easier to have lots of children if you have nannies and other staff. But ordinary people somehow manage with big families too. My cousin has five boys. And she's still able to brush her hair and remember birthdays. I'm not sure I would.

What makes you decide how many children you have? Money? Your age? Your health? Space in your house? Or maybe the sheer amount of work involved? Sometimes the decision on how many children we have isn't ours. It's quite sad when you hear someone say they wanted more children than they have. But any children at all is a blessing. I'll remind myself of that next time one of mine is screaming in a shop or refusing to go to bed.

Some people think three children is a lot. Maybe it's not the amount of children which is hard work but the age gap between them. I think if mine were more spaced out things might be a bit easier. Three children under five are very dependent on you. Trying to get them all dressed, fed and out the door in time to get somewhere can be tricky. At least older children can do more for themselves.

But by all accounts, older children are hard work too. Just in a different way to young children. So really I don't think it matters how many children you have or what the age gap is between them, parenthood is hard work.

Fun hard work though isn't it? That's what we have to convince ourselves. But it wouldn't do any harm having some of the assistance Brangelina are used to. I can't imagine having nannies and staff though, I'd be too busy sticking my nose in and making sure everything was being done the way I wanted it. Which is probably as much hard work as doing the parenting yourself.

So do you know when you've had enough children? Or is there always a thought at the back of your mind about having more? It's a tricky one and something I'm undecided about.

For the record, Brangelina have Maddox, 9, Pax, 6, Zahara, 5, Shiloh, 3 and twins Knox and Vivienne, 1. I didn't know that off the top of my head by the way, I googled it.