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Question: My girl did the dirt with my cousin. I only found out today my heart is broken. What do I do? I'm falling apart.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery:  Your girl did the dirt with your cousin!? That absolutely sucks. Of course it hurts. Of course she's not worthy of a single tear from you, and not worthy of your thoughts. And she was never even worthy of being your girlfriend. Telling you all this doesn't help ease your pain right now. It still hurts like hell! And that she did this with your cousin? What the heck was he thinking doing that to you? Unfortunately you can't pick your family.

Your broken heart feels very real. I know, I've had my share of them myself. And unfortunately it happens to EVERYBODY. Look around, everyone has had a broken heart or two or several. Thousands of songs have been written by broken hearts. Listen to the radio and you'll hear song after song about broken hearts.

I have found that it takes 50% of the time you were together to completely get over that person. Unless you keep letting them string you along - don't let that happen because then it might take even longer.

I promise that after the pain has eased and you can see clearly, you will wonder why the hell you ever dated her in the first place. You will feel nothing for her. You will find another, wonderful girl, who won't do this to you. Please don't be the guy who never trusts any other girls after this one "rotten apple."

I know of a guy who caught his girl cheating with his best friend in high school. He's in his late 40s and still won't open himself up to women. He has never been married or even had a long-term girlfriend. Don't let this cheating, lying girl ruin you for future relationships! Don't give her that power over you.

I know of another guy who caught his WIFE cheating with his BROTHER! He got divorced, then his ex-wife married his brother! His broken heart healed and now he realizes that he's actually very lucky and his brother's now stuck with this girl.

I promise you are lucky to find out what she is like now instead of later. Time does heal all wounds.

Mr. Know:  There's no need for you to fall apart. Drop her like a hot potato and don't look back. This girl is bad news. And please, don't try to think of million reasons why you should stay together.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: I have been asked this question more than anything. Girls are easy to meet! Sure there are some girls who just aren't friendly and if you find one of those, then just walk away. Many girls are open to new friendships which can lead to love or sex. Why do you think our world is so overpopulated? All these baby's came from somewhere.

Whether you've met before or not, all you have to do is strike up any kind of conversation. It doesn't really matter what you say. Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself.

You can say something like "Have you been to this (park/coffeeshop) before?," "What are you drinking/reading?" or "You have beautiful eyes" (only if you mean it). Ask an open ended question that requires an answer other than "yes" or "no". If you're feeling really brave then be funny. Say something like "Wow, that couple in the corner needs to get a room" or tell a joke.

Say something! Anything. Then the girl will respond and then it's your turn. What do you do when you meet new guys? Don't put more pressure on yourself than when you meet guys. Your are simply meeting a new PERSON... perhaps you can be friends, perhaps more... time will tell. Just relax and be yourself. If the girl is interested she'll do her half to keep the conversation going. If not, simply walk on and find someone else to talk to. Remember: Girls are just people.

Mr. Know: You're asking two different questions. It's a lot easier to strike up a conversation with someone you've met before than with someone you don't know.

First of all, women are NOT from Venus. They are not aliens. They have the same wants and needs that you do. And a lot of those women are shy two. Shyness is not gender-specific.

For women you know, you can talk about anything because you've already met. The best way to start the conversation is to ask questions. The best conversationalist is someone who asks questions and listens. Striking up a conversation is all about confidence and practice. You should have no hidden agenda.

If you're trying to pick up a girl, you have to think of it as a numbers game. You're going to get turned down a lot - unless you look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. But you're going to hit some as well.  It's very important not to sound or act nervous.

This is a tough question for me. I've never picked up a girl because I never looked at it from that perspective. I always tried to just chat with people.

The best way to learn how to talk to women or anyone is to read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It's a great book. You can even use it to communicate with aliens. I've read it more than three times (and so has Ms. Mystery). Good luck and Godspeed.

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Question: I'm a 15 year old boy, in high school. A year ago a new girl moved to my school. She was in my class and after a few months she and I became close friends.

I developed feelings for her and during a conversation on instant messaging I asked her, "Have you had any feelings for anybody at our school?" She replied that she liked me and another boy. She wasn't aware I had feelings for her. A month later, I told her I had feelings for her but I didn't want it to affect our friendship. And she replied that it wouldn't.

A few weeks later I decided I wanted to take things further with her, so I asked her out. She said she didn't feel the same way and she was sorry. She and I stayed friends after that - best friends.

She told another girl from our school that she thinks these two other boys are hot, and the word got around fast. One of those boys was the same boy she had liked before. The other was a good friend of mine and I got very jealous. I felt that she changed when she was around him, and this lead to three fights between she and I over the next few weeks. The arguments only lasted a week or so, but they still happened. We always ended up talking in the end and things have been good since then.

She is a difficult girl and very confusing. She does random things which I believe she does in order to have an effect on me. Things like putting me 2nd on her Top Friends List after another boy from school, and listening to songs with titles like "I Love You" while chatting with me online.

When I don't talk to this girl or show signs that I still like her, she acts like she likes me. But the minute I make it obvious I like her, she acts like she just sees me as a friend. She flirts with me on a daily basis.

I don't want to give up on her. I've tried getting over her but after three days, I give in and realize I'm in in love with her. Any advice you offer is much appreciated.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: Love has been like this throughout history. You love someone who loves someone else. It happens over and over until your are older and ready to find the 'right person.' There have been thousands of movies, songs, and books written about that very thing. It causes pain, suffering... it is life.

There are so many other girls out there! This girl simply enjoys the attention you give her. She likes having a guy around who loves her. You can't blame her. But she gives nothing back. Trust me, even when you act like you don't care, she KNOWS you do.

Don't let her waste another minute of your time. You aren't on Earth to follow her around and make her feel adored like a puppy dog. Stop being her 'fan club.'

Of course you feel jealous! That's normal. But it's the most horrible feeling in the world. You seriously need to get away from her and find another girl.You deserve better.

As soon as you're over her (really over her, not pretending to be over her) then she will try harder to flirt and get your attention back. But that is only for selfish reasons. Don't fall for it. I wish I could have recognized selfish people like that when I was your age. It would have saved me a lot of time.

Mr. Know: You are wasting your time with this girl if you want her as a girlfriend. She can't make up her mind what she wants. You are 15 and there's a big life ahead of you. There are lots of beautiful and nice girls out there. You may think she's the only one but she is not.

You sound like a very nice guy and if I were you, I'd cut her loose. If you continue to be "best friends" with her it's only going to make it worse for you. I know, I know. You may think she the only one and you can't give up on her. She is not the right one for you.

Let me repeat it again: Dude, cut her loose, find new friends and get yourself a new girlfriend. One day, you will thank me.

p.s. Please do not get "serious" about relationships at your early age. Enjoy the friendships and dating. There is plenty of life ahead of you.

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Question: If I see a girl I don't know in a cafe, and she keep looking at me and our eyes meet, what should I do if I want to meet her? What if she's alone at the table? What if she's with friends or family? Sometimes I feel shy when girls look at me! Please help me.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: If a girl keeps looking at you and catching your eye, she is obviously attracted to you.  Remember that girls are people too. They want the same things and have the same worries that guys do.

Don't put pressure on yourself. Simply say anything to her. Comment on the weather, ask if you've met before, comment on the food, or even better, tell her she has the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen. Then she can reply and you can simply talk and see where the conversation goes. It's probably easier if she's alone, but if she's not you just have to go for it.

Very important: if the girl is with a friend when you talk to her, be sure you include her friend in the conversation. If you ignore her friend and treat her like she's invisible then her friend won't like you. If her friend doesn't like you then the girl probably won't either.

Mr. Know: You should smile first, then offer to buy her coffee is she is alone. If she is with friends, he could do the same. If she is with family, forget about it. Good luck!

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Question: I'm 17 and dating a girl who I love to bits. The problem is that last night we tried to have sex (we're both virgins) and I couldn't get it up. I get an erection fine when I'm alone.  We're both kind of shy and she doesn't like showing herself off much, but I need some help!

I felt really nervous sorta, and I was a little tired. I'm quite a nervous person anyway but I'm not sure that could be the cause of it. It was so embarrassing and now I permanently feel inadequate and... like crap. What is wrong with me? LOL

Secondly, this is REALLY stupid... I got it almost stiff but soon went very floppy again when I attempted to have sex with her. Being a virgin, I had no idea what I was doing or where to put it exactly. I Googled a bit but really want a basic picture to give me an idea of where it should be going in case I ever do manage to get an erection around her again (LOL). I wouldn't want to make a mistake and hurt her.

Answers:
Mr. Know: Teen sex is very stressful. I do not recommend it for any teen because so many things can go wrong. First of all, I hope you were wearing protection. If you plan to have sex again, wear protection. I don't want to hear any crap about not being able to feel. Teen pregnancy happens and I do not think you want to have a child at 17 or catch a disease. You could not get it up because you were stressed out. This is normal. It happens. Do not worry about it. Most likely your brain was telling you that you are not ready for it. Do you have to have sex at 17? Can you wait? What is the hurry?

Ms. Mystery: I'm going to go with Mr. Know's answer 100%.

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Question: My husband seems to be attracted to our neighbor next door, I just have a very sick feeling that he likes him more than just for a friend. My husband gets upset and looks for him when he is not at home, he mows his grass and, water his lawn for him.... I feel a strange connection between them and I feel very uncomfortable around them. The neighbor does not like me around when he is with my husband, they always sit closer than others, there are so many things that I notice I can't write them all down... Most of all my gut feeling isn't a good one, what can I do to find out for sure?

Answers:
Mr. Know: I have some very bad news for you. One thing I have personally learned, being a guy, is that woman's intuition is one of the most powerful forces on the planet. Most men do not have this type of intuition and we are the inferior sex. Personally, without doing any spying, I think that your husband is cheating on you with this man. I find it insane that he would be mowing his lawn. Think about it. If you husband was mowing a woman's lawn, what would you think?

You need to confront him immediately, because I'm concerned as much for you physical health as you mental health. There are many bi-sexual men and women on this planet. This is not a strange situation, it happens all the time. Good luck and Godspeed.

p.s. Go get tested for HIV.

Ms. Mystery: Trust your feelings. You can hire a private detective but I suggest you save your money and ask him directly what is going on between him and the neighbor. This kind of thing happens and you must protect yourself. Trust your woman's intuition. When you ask him he may lie and say there is nothing going on. Most men accuse their wives of being crazy when asked if they are cheating. Don't buy it. It's a smoke screen. Look into his eyes and you will know the truth regardless of what he tells you.

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Question: Okay guys, a little advice here please, I just found out that 9 months ago my girlfriend had an affair. I only found out because her phone bills went from £30pm to £140pm. When I confronted her she told me it was a female friend who was going through a difficult patch. This did not wash and although I could not prove anything. I kept digging.

6 months later she finally admitted to texting a bloke, again it did not wash so I kept on digging. A few nights later she admitted to meeting him 5 times over the 3 month period. One of these times was at MY HOUSE while i was OUT WORKING for our family !!

She admitted to kissing on these occasions and going to meet him, and meeting him at her friend's house. However she will not admit they were intimate!!!!

I find it hard to believe, if not impossible, that 2 people can have an affair over a period of time and not be intimate!! She said he tried to "go down on her once and she told him to stop and leave." She says that was it that was the only intimate time!! Why cant she TELL ME THE TRUTH???

Them being in my home killed me. Surly being honest about sex won't make me feel any worse.

She says it was never physical on her part, and that she was going through a bad patch with me and he was saying all the right words. She says she never found him physically attractive, and it was all in his patter. She says she never had feelings for him only for the things he said. If this is so why risk a seven year relationship? Why risk leaving 2 children fatherless? Why risk it at all?

She says she loves me and want us to get married and live happily ever after, BUT I NEED to know THE TRUTH. How can I get her to finally come clean and tell me everything? She claims she has but she also claimed for 9 months while I was asking her to come clean that she had not been unfaithful??

Any ideas greatly appreciated.

Answers:
Ms. Mystery: Every relationship goes through a rough patch. Just ask your grandparents! It's all a matter of getting past it and forgiving each other and moving forward.

If it is true, as she said, that you were going through a rough patch and this guy came along saying all the right things, then you must resolve the problems of your relationship and why.

She did have an affair, whether it was consummated or not. She may never tell you all the details and it really doesn't matter. She doesn't want to tell you everything (if there is more to tell), because she is afraid of losing you! She loves you and wants to marry you. If you don't want to marry her then it's over. If you do, then do it and never look back. Be happy you got through this and give her your love. Tell you you realize you are partly to blame and you love her too.

Mr. Know: Unless you absolutely find out the truth or re-frame your mind, this entire nightmare will drive both of you crazy. From what you have said, it is evident that she had an affair at your friend's house and at "your"house. I do not understand why you refer to the house as "my" house after having lived with her for seven years and had two children. I do not know English law but if you have the attitude that is "your" house only after being together for so long, there are major issues between the two of you.

Dude, she is lying to you because she wants to stay with you because she loves you and realized she made a mistake or she needs to stay with you for financial reasons. If she stopped him from going down on her that means they were naked together.

This is tough one. It really comes down to whether you can take part of the blame for the issues you had with her, which drover her to another man. If you do not believe you caused her to go to another man, then you both have bigger problems.

Do you love her? Do you want to stay with her? Can you handle it emotionally that she slept with another man? Can you re-frame your mind and forget the past and look to the future? Do you want to stay with her and "both of your children?

You have to make up your mind what you want to do with your life here? Please do not spend years trying to make a decision. It is not fair to her, you or the children.

Good luck and Godspeed.