tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52128692015145347762024-09-16T16:57:11.939-07:00We are a family of six through birth and adoption through the foster care system. Our days include a mix of reactive attachment disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, visual and language processing disorders, and general strangeness mixed with joy, peace, and healing.Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.comBlogger270125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-55820710690934527532013-01-22T04:02:00.000-08:002013-01-22T04:08:25.842-08:00

Yesterday was a rare quiet day. A day that showed how bone tired we all are. And Peanut said, "here Mom! I wrote you a story!" Then she giggled and ran away. Once opon a time ther was a monster named Princess. She scard evreone but my wonderful mom her name is Captin beautiful mom. She alwes saves everone from the monster. People been screaming intil the superhero came. She tried to scar off the

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-58697607418272414892012-07-09T15:17:00.000-07:002012-07-09T15:17:21.931-07:00

I sat in Princess's therapists' office, depressed, exhausted, numb, defeated. She explains to me something to try against a reoccurring behavior that sets me off like a grease fire at a shrimp boil. I listen. Then I startle. Because what she is saying? I am a pro at. Or I was. A year ago, I would have done exactly what she was describing without even blinking an eye. I was great. Was. "I used

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-89329549461753871222012-06-20T06:28:00.000-07:002012-06-20T06:28:26.507-07:00

I've lost my ability to see ahead for Princess. I used to be so in tune with her. I could see a trigger a mile away. But it got to the point where everything was a trigger; it was too overwhelming, and I started trying not to see them, just so it wasn't constant. And the past six months have been so filled with hurt. Princess's new-ish doctor evened out her meds, which is an amazing thing, but

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-58884800876895402962012-06-14T04:50:00.000-07:002012-06-14T04:50:39.166-07:00

You know that feeling when suddenly you turn around one day and realize: your baby has a "schedule?" Not one you made up for her, but her own. You've got a good idea of what she's going to do when, and you know what everything she does probably means even though she can't tell you with words. Ok, so maybe it's not quite so exciting when your baby is nine. Or maybe it is. And that it's only Day

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-41993717054703174722012-06-12T10:22:00.000-07:002012-06-12T10:22:04.044-07:00

Hmm. I wonder what that is? There are those things that I can't really put two and two together on, and I know asking questions will not get me anything useful. Or even close to true. So I file the information away for later. Cachink! I cleaned the kids' bathroom last week (have I ever mentioned how estatic I am that this house has a master bathroom that no one! can enter! without permission!?

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-81130168178244854552012-05-17T05:31:00.001-07:002012-05-17T05:31:56.231-07:00

I signed Princess up for Girls on the Run this year. Other activities I've tried with her have come to bad ends. With sports, she wants to do certain parts (being goalie, throwing in the ball, batting), but not the rest. She simply won't participate in 90% of said sport. She took tap. She was good. I mean good. But there was one girl who was better. So Princess quit. And by "quit," what I mean is

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-24324191539972162242012-05-09T16:59:00.000-07:002012-05-09T16:59:17.063-07:00

Brought to you by Kerrie. Be jealous. You know, I think it's really great you're excited about your new deodorant. It's ok to be excited about it: it's new, it smells good, and it's a clue that your body's changing into a grown-up's, which is pretty cool. The thing is...well, the thing is that it's not the kind of thing other people are going to get excited about. They'll get excited about

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-86023555591742424672012-05-04T05:05:00.000-07:002012-05-04T05:05:37.598-07:00

There's a quarter mile between my kids and their bus stop. Much to their chagrin, we walk. Anyone who wants to complain about it gets treated to my lecture series: "Why This Is Good For Your Brain." It also gives us time to work things out. The day didn't start so well. It was one of those mornings where Princess took all my suggestions and ground them up in the garbage disposal. It was not one

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-5412393188552252432012-04-30T15:01:00.000-07:002012-04-30T15:01:16.854-07:00

because I realize this blog might as well have the catchy name: "A Whole Bunch of Homework Interactions." But you know what? I embrace that. I accept that I bore random people to death with How Homework Went Tonight, by Kerrie. It's ok with me. The real reason is that I don't think anything that happens with Princess harrows my soul more than working on homework. Not the pee. Not the rages. Not

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-79411657806443381192012-04-27T14:28:00.000-07:002012-04-27T14:28:57.007-07:00

Josh wants Princess to clean her room every morning before school. I'm kind of meh on it, so I let him follow up and all that fun stuff. However, the other day I realized that she has been folding her sheet and placing it at the end of her bed. When I inquired, I received this response: I don't know. It's just faster that way. Except it's not. It's not faster to take your sheet off your bed and

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-8882293434811173602012-04-26T13:02:00.000-07:002012-04-26T13:02:37.062-07:00

"When Princess comes here, we're all about her. She gets all our attention, and she hasn't hurt any of us. So we end up seeing some different things than you're going to see at home. And one thing I'm seeing is a very, very, VERY remorseful girl. If she's done something big to you, she walks right in and tells me, 'I beed really mean to my Mom." After your vacation, she made a b-line to the

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-16780852163340561572012-04-25T07:35:00.000-07:002012-04-25T07:35:52.281-07:00

Last night, Josh walk in from the kitchen with a piece of paper. You got another check. For your blog.  Mmmm? Oh. Yeah. You're still making money? You're not even writing. Mmm. The check's still made out to our street. Maybe our whole street can take it to the bank and cash it. Mmm. Yeah. I should really change that. You should really write again. Yeah. No. You really should write again.

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-495128473600063042012-02-23T10:02:00.000-08:002012-02-23T10:02:15.007-08:00

Princess? Come here please. What? Have you looked at this reading bench mark test? (blank stare) Come look. 68%. Did not follow directions. 52%. Did not follow directions. 55%. Did not follow directions. This is a test that's supposed to show the state what you know, and you did not even read the directions. Mom? Do not ask me if you can play Wii. Uggggggggh....I wasn't going to. Good. Mom? Yes?

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-31670343143249466362012-02-14T09:57:00.000-08:002012-02-14T19:33:58.233-08:00

...continued... Wednesday Josh and I went into school. Josh wore his sport coat. Just to be extra scary. We retrieved Princess from her room and went to wait outside the conference room for Mr. Principal and the laptop. We did not tell Princess why we were there. She did not ask. I imagine because she did not want to know. She looked like she was going to jump out of her skin (a good sign) when

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-86739139094333007992012-02-04T07:55:00.000-08:002012-02-04T07:55:09.954-08:00

So it finally happened. I'm impressed she made it two quarters- I had given her a month. Princess is suspended from the bus Monday and Tuesday. I'm not even remotely disturbed about the suspension, considering how she's been rolling lately. What I'm upset about is how it went down. Ok. The part about being not disturbed was a lie. Anyway. Her medications have been considered "balanced" since

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-68854848451192235842011-11-16T10:08:00.000-08:002011-11-17T05:29:34.687-08:00

Yesterday one of the more dreaded numbers showed up on my screen: the upper elementary. Hello? Mom? Hi Princess. What's up? I need some pants. (Long involuntary silence) Ummmmm, there are some in your backpack. No, I had to use them when I fell in the mud puddle. (Deep inward sigh) Ok. I'll be right there. So I took in the pants. However, now my entire insides were liquified, because I know

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-6838822059963245112011-11-15T11:08:00.000-08:002011-11-15T11:08:26.237-08:00

Every time I've thought, hoped, and prayed that Princess would one day be healed, that's what I focused on: the "being healed" part. The end result. Abra-cadabra, voila, you are healed. Sadly, that is not the way it is working out. Apparently. I mean, I was right: there is Being Broken, and there is Being Healed. Unfortunately, I'm finding out there is also this giant pile of grossness in

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-91857181559092417352011-11-13T11:47:00.000-08:002011-11-13T11:47:07.862-08:00

We are in it. And it's hard to put into words what's going on, so smart me thought, huh, it's a labor word. I'll look it up. The first site on the list was Amazing Pregnancy.com, so being lazy, that's what I clicked on. Here's what they had to say about it: During transition, you may feel unable to relax or to get comfortable.  While you may have handled labor well up to this point, it is

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-64379191732270696752011-09-29T06:17:00.000-07:002011-09-29T06:17:16.923-07:00

Two years ago Josh and I were badly betrayed by someone the children knew as well. This person had been outwardly kind to them, and there was no way to hide the betrayal from them, so they've had a great need to process it. Over. And over. And over. Every few months one of them (usually the Cuddle Bear) randomly brings it up, and I have to relive it. Big Girl Panties- ON! So again, last night, in

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-47531645229492035732011-09-20T13:04:00.000-07:002011-09-20T13:04:27.059-07:00

Homework continues to be the o joy that it was last year. So far, there is only one difference, and that is that Princess did not give us a honeymoon during the review month of September. Yesterday she had a math sheet that involved a calculator, and she had clearly been taught how to operate it in class. She did some of her general toying around (9+4+4+7+4+4+7+9 instead of 9447+4479, for

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-5716946030711097772011-09-14T08:21:00.000-07:002011-09-14T08:21:50.842-07:00

and it's not often I can say that, so I think I'll say it again. Just to make myself feel good: Clearly, I've done something right. I find that major transitions, such as school beginning or ending, are excellent times to sneak stuff into the routine that you know the kids aren't going to be super crazy about. They're usually reeling from change and so bleary-eyed from either too little or too

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-78517471459275435762011-09-02T08:59:00.000-07:002011-09-02T08:59:10.912-07:00

Today I got the accusation every mom dreads: "You don't go outside with me because you're always typing on the computer to your little friends. Nyah!" This summer I've restricted Princess's play with others to within my hearing. She gets irritated so easily (like because someone's breathing too close to her), and when she's irritated, it's zero to sixty in under two seconds. She can earn 15

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-4774517150137828332011-08-29T06:56:00.000-07:002011-08-29T06:56:52.664-07:00

We are one of the last states in the nation to begin school. One of the ways we try to keep out of bankrupcy is by getting people to come here and pay for stuff, but you have to have employees to take the money, and the only people who want to be paid to take money for just the summer and no longer are... students. So, while the rest of the nation is happily buried in textbooks and icky school

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-41394371149236549962011-08-19T07:56:00.000-07:002011-08-19T10:55:30.803-07:00

Me last year: For Pete's sake! Can't I be outside for five minutes without someone making someone bleed?! Me today: Come on, you guys! Can't I be outside for fifteen minutes without someone making someone bleed?! And that's how I knew things have gotten better on the whole. It's hard to tell, you know. Kids don't heal on a continuum. It's more like that hose you found in the barn that hasn't

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5212869201514534776.post-76118036914637948052011-07-25T07:39:00.000-07:002011-07-25T07:39:48.777-07:00

Physicals. They giveth. And they taketh away. Four-something years ago we were informed our daughters's first mother's rights to them were terminated, and their last name was magically now the same as ours. My first reaction was, wow. I now almost officially have four children, ages 6, 5, 4, and 2. My second was, wow. What if I had a baby, too. I ran into my doctor's office the next day. "I

Kerriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11619612090329550267noreply@blogger.com4