GOOD MORNING MY PEOPLE!!!

2011-09-17T19:50:00.001+01:00

Good morning my people!

It's been a roller coaster ride for me and the country as a whole. What with Boko Haram and the violence going on in the east, not to mention the violence on a smaller (but no less violent) scale in homes i.e. Titi Arowolo's brutal murder at the hands of her husband whom I assume promised to love and cherish her blah blah blah! I was part of a news conference for her alongside Josephine Chukwuma of Project Alert on Violence Against Women, Stella Damasus Aboderin Nigerian Nollywood superstar, Weird MC Nigerian music icon, Agatha Amata Nigerian TV talk show host etc. It is disheartening when one cannot trust those who profess to love you and love is repaid with violent death.

It is my firm belief that, in small and big ways, we have all contributed to situations like this becoming increasingly prevalent in our society. The society pressures young women into marriages that they may otherwise not have gone into. Our first reaction when we meet a young lady is to look at her hand or ask if she's married. Some even operate under the myopic, prehistoric and chauvinistic misconception that an unmarried woman (or even man) who is of marriageable age is irresponsible or immature.

We women, too, contribute to this as well. We throw ourselves at men shamelessly and accept shabby treatment all in the guise of keeping the relationship so it progresses into marriage. Some of us go as far as deluding ourselves into thinking a partner will change after marriage. What are we...Joseph the Dreamer?! I have had a friend tell me to drop my standards and "manage" the next man who comes along. Why set myself up for a lifetime of pain and regrets? No, thanks! What about the women who believe that life is on hold till you are married and rather than improve themselves, making themselves worthy of a great man, they waste their lives waiting.

Parents would rather their daughter suffer on in an abusive marriage than face the "disgrace" of telling their church friends they have a daughter who is separated or divorced. The daughter in question is likely to cover up the beatings and psychological abuse because she has been brainwashed by society to believe that it is always her fault. She believes that if she leaves an abusive marriage then she is a disgrace and a failure who is irresponsible and weak.

The religious groups (the church to be precise) tells you to stay put in a violent home and keep praying. How and where can you pray when you have to watch out of the corner of your eye that you're not about to be stabbed?! I say, get out of a danger zone then continue with the praying while you seek reconciliation.

Agatha Amata said something which made absolute sense to me: Mothers are the main culprits in this dilemma because they raise daughters to believe it is OK to be ill-treated and bearing it is a sign of strength and responsibility, a virtue while sons are raised to believe they are superior beings to females and it's OK to smack a girl to put her in her place.

So who gets the most blame for this growing trend of domestic abuse in marriages and sibling-relationships? Or is it equally shared? I'll leave you with this profile message I lifted from a male friend's Facebook profile.

"The mark of a true Spiritual woman is the ability to submit to her husband's authority joyfully and finding her God given role in supporting her man. She is content carrying out his orders as a mark of her love for him."

God bless us all!

Valentine with the Down Syndrome Kids

2011-03-20T10:18:00.000+01:00

Hello GirlFriends! (and boyfriends, too!)

It's good to have you in our corner. The GirlFriends Nigeria needs you in her corner so we can help alleviate some of the hardships faced by women and children in our society (especially the girl-child).

Last month, the month of love, we decided to share our hearts with the children of the Down Syndrome Association of Nigeria (http://www.dsanigeria.org/). This NGO helps families with members who have Down Syndrome. Headquartered in Surulere, Lagos, this association provides schooling and boarding facilities for these children and also guide parents and families on how to care for their relatives and friends with the syndrome.

The GirlFriends decided to help out by throwing a party for the children and their families as well as provide some necessary items to the association, contributing towards the upkeep of the boarders and their carers.

It came as a pleasant surprise to find that most of the staff there are wonderful young people, most of who are not related to the kids nor have any member of their family with the challenge! They are just regular everyday people who have dedicated their time and energy towards helping these people get beyond their "predicament" and live life normally. I was greatly inspired by these young men and women.

Another source of inspiration were the "children" themselves. The way they open up to you, show you unconditional love brought tears to my eyes and made my heart hurt, but in a good way. They are certainly not stupid (as some people think) and calling them retards is highly offensive and derogatory. I have come to understand that they are highly intelligent and creative people who sometimes find it hard to express this intelligence and creativity without some help. Example is Solomon who is a gifted dancer. He's even been out of Nigeria for dance competitions! Yes, they'll probably never become scientists (though never say never!) but they have a lot to offer and contribute to the nation's economy. If you're close to one of these wonderful people, ask them as you would any other person what their skills are, what they enjoy doing, what they hope to become in future then help them achieve it. Believe me, there's nothing greater than being part of an inspiring success story. They can be accomplished swimmers, actors, public speakers, professional dancers etc. The kids here made hair cream which we bought (Solomon is an aggressive salesman! The banks might wanna check him out!). They are very good and I still use mine on my hair. All they need is to be treated with love, respect and dignity and assisted to achieve their dreams, which like all of us, they also have.

To buttress my point, you may check out this website with the stories of famous people with Down Syndrome and their achievements: http://www.about-down-syndrome.com/. I already knew about Andrea Friedman who is an actress (she's been in Law & Order, ER, Saving Grace and Life Goes On), she works (has a regular job besides her acting career), lives alone and drives a car (a Mercedes Benz) which she bought with her own money! Andrea is also famous for having a run-in with Sarah Palin and holding her own gracefully. She didn't have any "special" education; she was just fortunate to be surrounded by people who didn't see the handicap before the person but the person first before anything else.

If you need more information on Down Syndrome, Google is the way to go!

See below for pictures of the party with the kids.

P.S. If you want to partner with us to do more for this cause, leave us a comment here or please contact us on thegirlfriendsng@gmail.com or 08023629988.

Life, Love & Laughter!

2011-01-31T08:00:00.000+01:00

Hello and Happy 2011!

Thank you for visiting us again this year! It means you're willing to continue our partnership towards helping our fellow Nigerian women be the best they can be and give the best of themselves towards re-building this country of ours. Thank you so much!

January was a month for strategizing for the year so there was no event. However, we've got the rest of the year covered! Ensure your're a part of The GirlFriends this 2011 because there's a lot to be gained.

Last year was awesome! At least December showed me how much support we have from fellow girlfriends and our menfolk. We asked for donations to make the December event an unforgettable experience and my heart almost burst with the joy that filled it at the response!

The plan was to bring some love and laughter to some of the downtrodden women in our soceity and share some of our experiences to let them know that their situations are not peculiar and are not insurmountable. With the right support system, they'll overcome.

We partnered with Project Alert on Violence against Women (http://www.projectalertnig.org/) to do this. Project Alert has a shelter where victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse etc are housed for safety reasons until their situations are resolved.

The GirlFriends visited them aiming to put back laughter and love into their lives.

We visited them at the shelter (which is an undisclosed address) and shared food items, clothes, money and other necessary items. It was heartbreaking watching these women and children who should be basking in love and warmth at home seeking a safe haven in the arms of strangers. However, we thank God there is such a place where they can run to for help and protection. We received a nice "thank you" letter from Project Alert which covers you, our esteemed donors.

We hope that in future we can do more for the shelter and the housemates such as organise skills acquisition and entrepreneurship classes for the unskilled women, support the children with scholarships etc. However, we cannot do this alone; we need YOU! If you're not a girlfriend blessed enough not to find yourself running helter skelter looking for help, then you have a mother, sisters, daughters, nieces, aunts cousins and/or friends who may one day need help (we hope not, though!). It would be nice if they had somewhere to go to if they are not comfortable involving family.

Below are some of the pictures and the letter. The faces of the housemates in the pictures have been edited for safety reasons.

To ensure you are kept updated on our events and plans, you should become a follower of this blog. Or you could contact us in 2 ways: e-mail: thegirlfriendsng@gmail.com; phone: 08023629988

Enjoy the month of February! We'll let you know what the theme for February will be...very soon!

Battered but not Broken!

2010-12-09T17:28:00.000+01:00

Hi!

Thank you for visiting our blog. It means you're a darling girlfriend (even if you are male!)

The GirlFriends is a not-for-profit platform established to address issues that affect the Nigerian woman here and in the diaspora.

We had our inaugural gathering on 27th November, 2010 and our theme was "Battered but not Broken". The issue addressed was domestic violence. It was an issue determined by a poll; needless to say it came as a shock to me that it was so common especially amongst beautiful, young, educated and exposed couples, Christian and non-Christian! We had beautiful young survivors share their experiences to unburden their hearts and also teach others how to avoid and handle similar situations. We also had in our midst marriage counsellors, psychologists and clergy who advised and guided us on dos and don'ts.

The session was quite emotional in some cases and in others left participants in a state of shock with skin crawling! Truth be told, one of the survival stories would rival the most horrifying of Nollywood story lines featured on African Magic! You begin to realize that these home videos are based on fact!

All in all, it was an eye-opening event; one from which a wealth of useful information and networking opportunities resulted. If you were there, then you know what I'm talking about. If you were not, you better sign up for the next event! Catch a glimpse in the pictures below! Also see invitation details for December's event.

INTRO... MY NEW NIGERIA; CAREER DEVELOPMENT!

2010-08-19T18:50:00.015+01:00

Good morning my people!

My absence in cyberspace via my blog can be summed up thus: all bark and no bite! I regularly accuse relatives, friends and even strangers of just sitting and whining about the diverse ills in the society and doing nothing in their own little way to help the situation.

On retrospection, I realised I wasn't any better! Sure, I had this blog dedicated to re-orientation of what is popularly called "the Nigerian Mentality". That, in my opinion, is equal to saying "the Nigerian Madness"!

Anyway, I felt that this, added to my efforts at living what I "preach" got me thinking that was all I could do to help my Nigeria and my Nigerian brothers and sisters (that would be you, my sibling from another mother!)

After realising that I could do more by virtue of my occupation, I have decided to address a matter that affects nearly every family in Nigeria and that is unemployment, employment, entrepreneurship, career planning and development etc. These are all part of what I do in my chosen profession as a Consultant in Human Resources and Organizational Development. I have decided to use my skills, knowledge, education and professional experience to help and encourage as many Nigerians as I can in this regard.

By virtue of my job, I am aware of most vacancies in, and sometimes, outside Nigeria. I can also give career advice.

On this premise, I have created a new page called Career Development where I will be discussing all topics related. The very first article on this page is, naturally, employment opportunities. Please, look to your right, under the google adverts (I'm not sure which ad is visible at this point, apartments in Dubai, maybe!) but under the list of pages, you'll find the right one.

I'm sure you noticed the change in the name of my blog (mynewnigeria.blogspot.com). I'll explain next Thursday or Friday. I know I've been a bit tardy in the consistency of publishing posts here. Ok, a lot tardy! But I've repented. Truly. Now, I pledge to Nigerians my siblings, to be faithful, punctual and... can't find a word that rhymes with "honest" but I'm sure you get my drift! So, Thursdays or Fridays it is! You may check and if you find nothing new, feel free to...em...well, just feel free!

You may now proceed to "Career Development" for the latest vacancies. Feel free to share this blog on facebook, twitter, etc usng the share buttons below.

Enjoy your weekend!

God bless us all.

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!!

Do Unto Others...

2010-07-18T15:51:00.003+01:00

We all preach certain principles because it's the acceptable thing to say. But how much of these principles do we really believe, deep down in our hearts? And how many of these principles, as a result of our beliefs, do we embody? It is hard, I can tell you, to always live what you preach. Sometimes, it's simply because we are unaware of our true self, our true ethical bias.

Recently, I have made a discovery about myself and it's not a pretty discovery. I have learned that I can be a de-motivating factor! I was mildly upset by this revelation. Mildly because I decided to look at the positive side to this self-discovery – now that I know, I can now make a conscious effort to become a motivating factor!

I've read books and listened to talks and speeches that advise that before you criticize, you must first praise. The positivity of the praise will soften the blow of the negativity which the criticism will inevitably exude. Even from personal experiences I knew this and firmly believed that I got it right when dealing with friends, colleagues, subordinates etc. I have discovered that I am not quite the motivator I assumed I was in this regard!

My office is very serious about developing its workforce and so we undergo a lot of training and learning opportunities are made available to everyone. One of such development tools is what we call Knowledge Sharing Sessions; is a daily activity where each staff, having been previously given a topic and time to carry out research, is expected to give a high-powered presentation on the specified topic.

I was made the manager in-charge of coordinating these sessions. We are expected to score the presenter of the day using a specified scoring matrix, highlighting strengths (the praise part which encourages) and discuss their weaknesses (the criticism which may demoralize).

In the course of these sessions and resultant discussions, I noticed that my jottings and focus on the presentations are usually all negative. I'm not the best of presenters or public speakers so I wonder where I get off being so critical of others!

Last week a young lady was to give a PowerPoint presentation on a book review. The book was "How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie". Though the lady is not a consultant, the organizational policy on employee development does not exempt her from participating in this. By virtue of her job and role in the organization, she does not get to stand in front of a roomful of people and utilize a projector to make her point. Though she didn't present like a professional, I failed to see the positives. Instead, I had a notepad filled with criticisms and I was in a rush to point out these criticisms so I could look like the knowledgeable professional. I saw her efforts as half-empty rather than half-full and which, with practice and a guiding hand, could become full someday.

At the end of her presentation, a few of my colleagues commended her, listing out positives and my first reaction was; "WHAT THE !%£*&$?! Are they blind?! Are they deaf?! Have they lost their minds?! How can they be so biased?!" etc... I was itching for an opportunity to reel out my long list of faults. A comment another colleague made gave me food for thought. She said that no matter how bad someone is, there must be something good we can find to eulogize. That made me rethink my strategy.

Now I do not agree with my colleagues who had only good things to say; if you do not also point out the bad, how will the person improve themselves if they think they are excellent? I believe they did her an injustice by not criticizing her presentation. I also realized that criticisms alone will kill a person's spirit and will not motivate them to try harder (in most cases). So if I had opened my mouth, I would have become an instant enemy and the thought behind the criticism, which was to point out areas for improvement, would have been defeated.

I realized how tunnel-visioned I was. I failed to realize and acknowledge the effort she must have put into her slides and her presentation, the guts it must have taken to stand up in front of colleagues (who may be better skilled in this regard) and who will be judging your every move and utterance. I failed to factor in the point that this was not quite her area of expertise.

I called to memory, those occasions when I prepared a proposal, report or template for a boss and all I got was criticism for my efforts and not one word of praise. I recalled how hurt and downcast I felt. Last week, I actually made my boss defend himself when I felt he didn't recognize my effort! The poor man had to start explaining himself! And here I was not treating another person the way I demand to be treated!

How often are we so filled with self-righteousness and the zeal to do the right thing that we stomp on people's feelings? How often do we try to see the good in others no matter how terrible they seem? We are so quick to blow up the negatives but gloss over the positives. When the president rescinded the ban on football most were quick to call him a coward failing to see that it takes a great man to admit he could be wrong. Some of us castigate anyone who praises Governor Fashola for the good he is doing. They ask why we get excited over a governor who is simply carrying out his responsibilities. And my response is "Why not?". It is not that we do not know our rights and that we aree entitled to good roads and electricity, but it is only fair to appreciate anyone who does the right thing (or attempts to do the right thing). The praise and fan-fare will, I believe, encourage others to do the same.

Not one of us is perfect so it baffles me when we seek perfection in others!

I remember sharing my dreams and ambitions with some friends and I got not one encouraging word. They told me it was impossible, it could not be done in Nigeria, it would never flourish, that Nigerians are not supportive of anyone who tries what I'm proposing, the economy will crush me...etc. I was downcast until I read somewhere that you are only a failure when you do not try.

I thought I'd share this imperfect side of me with the hope that it would encourage someone to stare into the mirror of their soul and judge themselves as harshly as they sometimes do others; confront the ugly truths of their deficiencies and work at enriching lives; theirs and those of the people around by fixing the deficiencies.

As you forge ahead into a new week, remember to do unto others as you would want others to do unto you!

God bless us all.

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

A Disease Worse Than Cancer!

2010-06-20T21:24:00.009+01:00

Good Morning My People!

Another dry spell from me, right? I know and I'm sorry. It's this disease I've got that's plaguing me and hindering my progress. And it's killing me softly and silently!

Bet you're sitting at the edge of your seat with bated breath waiting to read what horrible disease it is that I've got! This disease is a big one and it's deadlier, in some regard, than cancer. Truth be told, you have it, too! Yes, you! Do I hear "God forbid"? He forbade it ages ago but we, who have been careless and have not heeded the word of the Lord are plagued by this disease.

This deadly disease that we (you and I) suffer from is PROCRASTINATION! Do I hear you heave a sigh of relief? Do not oh! It's a serious problem! If you do not think so, how come you're way behind on all those dreams and ambitions? How come you've done nothing about that wonderful idea that the good Lord has blessed you with? How come you keep postponing actions for today till tomorrow until it's too late? How come you look back and mutter to yourself "If only..."? Why do you sometimes lie awake at night lamenting at how life seems to be passing you by? Let me give you one answer that addresses all these questions and some others I do not remember; it is because you are afflicted with the spirit of PROCASTINATION! Now let's begin to cast it out!

On a more serious note, this is something we are all guilty of. Psychologists say that when you engage in a counterproductive, needless and delaying activity or inactivity then you are procrastinating.

Personally, I'm tired of talking about my lofty plans, dreams and ambition! I'm tired of running around in circles and achieving nothing (for the most part!) I'm tired of waking up everyday to seeing my dreams materializing but being anchored by someone other than me! I'm tired of saying to myself; "I will start tomorrow", "I will go there tomorrow", "I will do it tomorrow"! What if tomorrow does not come? All those ambitions, poof! Gone with the wind! The hopes and dreams! Maybe not entirely gone with the wind; God will simply bless some other Nigerian with those ideas and hopefully that person will run with it. My friend Lola had the dream of a crèche. Actually had a location in sight but she kept putting it off with excuses and voila! One day, she woke up and there was a crèche located at precisely one of the buildings she had admired as a suitable location. Another friend had a dream, today the dream is a reality in the form of Ice Cream Factory in highbrow V.I. but guess what? It's not owned by my friend. We think we are so smart with all the revolutionary ideas. There are others with the exact same idea as you. It's a race, so start sprinting!

Are you thinking, I must add another degree to my B.Sc but there's no money? There's never enough money. Scrape, scrimp, save and as Nike (the sporting goods label not the Yoruba girl) would say: Just Do It! There are a lot of information swimming in cyber space about scholarships (especially for women), student loans etc. So what are you waiting for? More to the point, what am I waiting for?!

Wake up! How old are you? What have you got to show for your time here so far? Do you think you've done enough? We can never have done enough! That's why we're still here! Today is a gift from God to make the world a better place for you, for someone or for some people. It's not for us to preen and pamper ourselves alone (some days we need the preening and the pampering, but certainly not a lifetime of underachievement!)

For the past few weeks, maybe months, I've been thinking about all the great ideas I have and have had (and mostly lucrative ones, too! I am, after all, an Igbo girl!) And I wonder why I have not acted on a single one of them! Not a one! Of course I'm smart enough to come up with wonderful, believable and excusable excuses to excuse my inaction! (Grammar! Do I really need more education?!). But that's all they really are; excuses! There's no money (the usual culprit!) There's no time (culprit number 2) What if I fail? (Fear! The greatest crippler of dreams!)The Nigerian economy cripples new ideas (this is fast becoming culprit number one!) Hello! People come up with new ideas everyday and they thrive!

I have decided to quit deceiving myself, get off my Chinese butt and actually DO something instead of just thinking about it. I'm sure by now with all the thinking I must have thought things through! All I need to do now is speak to people who will contribute positively to my ideas; who will advise me with the fear of God in their hearts and not people who will have nothing positive to say and effectively kill my dreams. Then I'll just do it! And if I fail, well, at least I tried so one of my regrets will not be; "If only I had tried!"

Have you seen a forty year old individual with broken dreams and unrealised aspirations? They look like the living dead; just existing but not really living. They are so bitter and angry with the world. They taint everything and everyone around them with their bitterness and kill the natural empathy and support they would have garnered from those around them. Now do you see why I speak about procrastination as a deadly disease? It eats away at you slowly and for the unobservant, you wake up one day when you're 50 years old and ask yourself what you've done with a lifetime? Let's rid ourselves of this disease before it's too late. The only time it's late is when we're at our deathbeds. This means even if you are fifty, you can reach into your heart and dust off those ideas! Yes you can! You're never too old to start over. Anyone who tells you different knows nothing at all!

I hope you will take my cue and join me in taking a step toward further self-fulfilment. A fulfilled citizen makes for a fulfilled nation and that's my goal.

This is the start of a new week so you are already psychologically psyched (forget the grammar!) to start refurbish those ideas and take action with the new week.

Have a wonderful week and ensure that at the end of this week, you can look back without muttering "If only..."

God bless us all!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

Armed Robbers, a Dead President Etc.

2010-05-10T18:06:00.008+01:00

Good Morning My People! (Finally, eh?)

It's been a long while! How have you all been? I'm so sorry for being MIA! It was due to circumstances beyond my control. Let's play catch up, shall we? What's been going on with you?

A lot has happened in my life since the last time we hooked up; I quit my job with the telecommunications company. It all got a bit too much for me. Our partnership wasn't working for me anymore. So rather than force issues till something broke (it probably would have been me breaking!) I decided to make a clean, quiet and peaceful exit. Unfortunately it was anything but quiet and peaceful. Actually, it was somewhat controversial as most things with me are but that's gist for another day.

Good news: I've got a new job! Not long after I left the old place I got another job in the sector of my dream; HR Consulting! You know, when you've got certain competencies which certain employers will always want and appreciate, you cannot be out of a job for long. I've never had to actively look for a job; most times I'm sieving job offers to make a pick! I got this job in a special way; I walked up to (now) my employer, introduced myself; gave a presentation on myself, my experience, my achievements, my competencies, my weaknesses, my plans for the organisation... And the rest, as they say, is history. For now, we are in a beautiful relationship, on the same path to achieving our mission and vision.

Besides the change in my employment, I lost then regained two friends whom I felt were butting into my personal affairs. Then I realised it was out of love and concern (I hope!). I've made peace with one and intend to do same with the other. I do not have the constitution to keep malice. It's just not in my nature. I'm so peace-loving I ought to be working for the United Nations!

I've recently been brought to my knees by my emotions; humbled into submission to that oh-so common worn-out word – love. Being in love is hard work, I tell you, but I've never been lazy about anything (well, except maybe kitchen work and laundry!) So I intend to work at it (not the kitchen work and laundry!) Good practice, I reckon, since I hear marriage is hard work too!

I lost my president (but I feel he was president in name only). Though I mourned his passing as he was a man whose enemies had nothing negative to say about him and perchance he would have achieved much if he were healthy, I couldn't help but be relieved this saga was over and the nation could move forward. I honestly felt like the kidnappers had lost their victim and could no longer demand ransom. I'm honestly hoping President Goodluck Jonathan would bring some much-needed good luck to this country before we move from being brought to our knees to lying flat on our backs! I liked his interview with Amanpour; I think he held his own admirably.

An assassination attempt was made on a member of my family but thank God he escaped unscathed. When will we learn that politics is not a do-or-die affair and that we can't go killing off our opponents? Let's just prove that we are the better man in whatever we are competing for. Besides, I thought politics was about serving the people? So wouldn't it make sense that the people get to choose who will be their servant? So, if they choose me, be happy with that! Except of course, the people (Nigerians) have no say in who serves them. And this is only because we have refused to vote. We sit at home and condemn the government forgetting that in our passivity we have installed and empowered a corrupt government.

We would do well to go and vote in the next election!

I survived an armed robbery attack...actually, two robbery attacks. One was at home. The other was on my way back from the gym. The (home) robbers could not gain access via the doors or the windows so they decided to try the roof. Now, my house is built like a fort (my father was not Commissioner for Housing only because he was a handsome dude! He knew his onions!) They went at the roof from 2:00am till about 4:00am! Believe me, I was petrified! My sister and I plus my little cousin huddled together in my bedroom calling everyone and anyone we knew. We called my brothers who called all the security operatives they knew in Nigeria! We even called friends abroad who were calling Nigeria for help! It was crazy! But it paid off because the police station nearest my home was besieged by phone calls and radio alerts. They arrived (very many of them) very heavily armed, shooting sporadically into the air. Believe me; I have never been so overjoyed to see our Men-in-Black! At that point, I kept whispering to myself "Police is your friend today oh!" But I also whispered to myself "Why not arrive stealthily so you could catch the thieves rather than scare them away?!" Nevertheless, I was happy they came to our rescue even though they did not get beyond the gate not to mention search the very large premises (this said with a roll of my pretty eyes!).

As for the roadside robber, I was almost angry enough to get out of the car, whip the gun out of his hand and club him into a stroke with it! How can some idiotic moron with a wooden toy of a gun (my suspicions only, not something I cared to confirm!) demand I wind down so he could rob me simply because I was stuck in traffic?! I thought to myself "Who on God's green earth does this fellow think he is? Who does he think I am to hand over my hard-earned cash and property simply because he waved a gun at my head?" I simply stalled by telling him to calm down while I look for the window winder. The idiot patiently stood beside me waiting for me to find it! HELLO, YOU DIM-WITTED OX! IT'S THE LATEST MODEL HONDA CITY SO ITS WINDOWS ARE ELECTRONICALLY POWERED! I DO NOT NEED AN EXTERNAL WINDER LIKE IT WAS SOME 1926 COROLLA TAXI!!! That action enraged me further causing me to engage my James Bond driving skills. The ape ran away when I nearly ran over his foot! I was so angry. I wished I wasn't seated in a car, maybe standing beside him. I would have used him for Karate practice!

I think this is the summary of my life experiences since we last hung out. Unfortunately, I haven't done much by way of helping the less privileged in the society but I still uphold traffic rules, respect other road users, my neighbours and every one I encounter in my day-to-day activities etc. I still do my own little bit to move this beautiful country forward. I must vote in the coming elections. And I will not vote based on state of origin or party but on the candidate's past achievements, life-style, values and what his plans are for Nigeria and Nigerians. You should do the same. I implore you.

So, what about you, what have you been up to? As usual, it's always nice to hear from you. Thank you to all those who kept calling, emailing and texting, demanding their weekly dose of Vitamin Uwalicious! I love you, too!

God bless us all!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

We’ve Got The Power!

2010-02-17T19:42:00.004+01:00

Good Morning My People!

How was your Valentine's Day? Any earth shattering moments worth sharing? Mine was a blast! I spent the whole day indoors with a friend's kids who came over for a visit, except when I went to fill up my tank. Some Valentine's Day; you might think but you don't have all the details! And guess what gift I got! A day of pampering at any spa of my choice! Isn't that romantic? Eat your hearts out! Ha! Just in case you're wondering from who; remember the guy who caused my run-in with the men of the underworld... em ...I meant men of the law (Whew! That was close!) See archives for "Arrested for Love" posted Monday Nov. 9, 2009.

Now that the "Season of Love" has come and gone, everything's back to business or so it seems. Power, in Nigeria, seems to have changed hands from an ailing president to a shadow of a VP (I hope he proves me wrong now he's got the power). Power, in some banks, are changing hands as directed by the CBN (Central Bank of Nigeria). Power, has left the hands of Mr. Aondoakaa as the Attorney General of Nigeria as he has fallen victim to the Acting President's cabinet reshuffle. Aondakaa is now "Minister of Special Duties". God alone knows what that ministerial office will be responsible for. Would it improve the lives of Nigerians?

But in all these (power changing hands), there is one constant; Nigerians have still refused to take hold of the power that is theirs. Yes, we have. All we do is sit by the sidelines and cheer or boo but very few of us actually make any moves to change or fight situations that we believe should not occur. We are vociferous in our clamour for change, in deriding those who are responsible (directly or indirectly) for the steady spiral of the nation into a level below pitiful. But when there is a call for action, our voices dwindle to silent whispers. We prefer to look out for our own immediate interest never understanding (or refusing to understand) that some of the actions we take believing it is for our good will, in the long run, be poison to us directly or indirectly. Did you ever wonder how our children will grow up in a corrupt society if they are not corrupt? To survive they will have to be as ruthless and unscrupulous as the society. If we teach them to be upright and accountable for their actions, they will NEVER survive in the Nigeria we are all building today. And they will NEVER be acceptable to other countries who still believe in the dignity of labour and not short cuts. Unlike the Nigeria we are building now (you and I) where the size of your bank account and how ostentatious you are in displaying its contents are all that matters regardless of the source of the wealth, they will NEVER survive in other countries where they will mostly be judged by the contents of their character. (I'm beginning to feel like Martin Luther King here!) They will NEVER thrive in other countries where honesty, trust and accountability still play a role in one being recognised as a force to be reckoned with.

We get all ruffled when other countries condemn our actions and decisions, our silence when we should be screaming blue murder and our empty mouthing off when we should be diplomatically quiet; rising up in righteous indignation to defend our ethics and beliefs. What ethics? What beliefs?

It breaks my heart when I think what this nation could be. The true patriots are dying out. True patriots like Obafemi Awolowo, Nnamdi Azikiwe, Gani Fawehinmi, my father and those people who lived when Nigeria was a great nation filled with good people. Because they have seen what Nigeria can be, they fought to relive that lost glory. But they are here no more. What do we do? What can we do? We don't have any excuses. We cannot say because we didn't see it then Nigeria cannot change for the better. Let's look around us! A lot of you (I would have said "us" but you all know I haven't done much travelling; lest someone exposes me!) travel to other countries and experience the joy of an accountable government; a responsible populace and a functioning system. What makes us disbelieve a Nigeria with all these and much more is possible? Ghana has achieved a semblance of this and is on the way to achieving more. I think it's because we disbelieve we, as individuals, can change for the better. Let's personalise this; I (Uwa Obasi Odefa) do not believe I can change. You, my wonderful reader, do not believe you can change for the better. You can't stop lying, cheating, breaking laws, jumping queues, being selfish, intimidating less privileged Nigerians...

Besides, what is the purpose of vision, dreams and ambition? Alexander Graham Bell had never seen a telephone before he invented one. Thomas Edison hadn't seen one before he invented the light bulb. Henry Ford had never seen a car except in his head before he invented one. The Wright brothers had no blueprint for an airplane before they invented one. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak invented the Personal Computer (Apple Macintosh computers). Close your eyes for a moment (when you get to the full stop!) and imagine life without your mobile phone, the light bulbs in your house (never mind whether NEPA gives you "light" or not!), having to walk every distance you need to go (imagine riding a donkey, horse or camel in your Garment Care laundered suit!) and ultimately, life without a computer and my blog! (You can shut your eyes now and imagine life without these!). Let's open our eyes and see the vision, the dreams around us. I know we have these visions of a greater Nigeria; so let's do something about it! We've got the power to invent the world we desire! We've got the power to create change in our environment! We've got the power, plain and simple!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!

God Bless Us All!

P.S. Someone sent me a mail; a letter from God if God could have written to us directly and specifically. It made some sense to me and I apologise if anyone finds it offensive but it's the message which it contains that I want you to focus on. To read the "letter from God" go to the "Crazy Stuff!" page on the top left of this page.

What's Love Got To Do With It?!

2010-02-08T19:00:00.000+01:00

Good morning My People!

How has it been the past two weeks? Guess you are all experiencing varying degrees of excitement with the progressive arrival of Valentine’s Day. For women, the excitement is in the gifts they expect to receive from the men in their lives, the “tush” places they will be taken to for a grand romantic dinner for two and/or a marriage proposal! (Do I hear sighs of wistfulness being released? Don’t worry, e fit be you oh!) For the men...hmmm...for the men. The excitement could come from the only one thing we (women) understand them to want and expect in a special package for Valentine’s Day. If you are a man, you know what you want; if you are a woman, you know what they expect. If you do not have a clue what I am talking about, your gender is indeterminate; you should see a gynaecologist!

Valentine’s Day! Ha! I’ve had my fair share of happy, sad and unnoticed February 14ths. When I was in secondary school, we used to hide the gifts and the cards from and to our school dates because we had this really mean teacher who would confiscate everything! Mr. Akinkowo was mean to us back then because he insisted on very high moral standards. I understand that now but back then, to me he was the prince of hell!

Between SSS3 and my first year in university, Valentine’s Day was fun; I had this beau who was as romantic as they come. I got the whole works; chocolates, cakes, dinner in cool places and teddy bears (one of my favourites besides a diamond ring!). Sometimes, I got all of these on one Val’s day! Ha! Eat your heart out!

From then till now, no Val’s day stands out in my mind. (sigh) Too bad.

But after dwelling on this for a while it has made me understand that there is a huge misunderstanding of the concept of love and Valentine’s Day. I’m not going to dwell on the history, meaning and ideals of Valentine’s Day. Nope. You can do that yourself! Use Google!

The whole concept of Valentine’s Day has become so commercialised. Love has been taken advantage of. If you do not give expensive gifts on Val’s Day then you are made to feel less than mortal. We spend so much on that day; so much time, energy, emotions, money etc! Why is love tied to how much material gifts you can give and/or receive? What has love got to do with all these commercialised sensationalism of Valentine's Day? Besides, I don’t believe one day should be set aside to celebrate love and appreciate the people who matter to you. And those who matter to you should not be limited to your husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend. Not even someone you are toasting. I remember when my brother’s fiancé bought underwear for my mum for Valentine’s Day! I nearly had a heart attack thinking the poor girl was gay and was making a pass at my mum!

Let’s not be selfish about Valentine’s Day; show some love to people who have very little to be grateful about. For us Christians, I’m sure there are people in your church you notice who are underprivileged. Stretch forth a loving hand not just on February 14th but on other days.

You and your beau can spend the day with the motherless children, inmates at the prisons, detainees at the police station (you’d be surprised to know some of them have been there as long as months without bail and would appreciate signs of love). Those relatives you haven’t visited in ages; go visit them, they would appreciate it. Let’s use our imagination, there’s so much we can do and fortunately this year’s Val’s Day is on a Sunday so hopefully it won’t be characterized by the usual insane traffic of yesteryears! (If you live in Lagos, Nigeria then you know what I mean!).

Ladies, let’s not sit back and wait to be given; it is better to give than to receive as the good book says. So start thinking, what can you do for people who are unlikely to give you anything in return? Sometimes, just saying “I love you” is enough. Sometimes we take our loved ones for granted; how many times have you told your wife, husband, mother, father, brother, sister or brother you love them? We think to ourselves; “he/she knows I love him/her. I don’t need to say the words! I’ll buy more gifts”. Sometimes, the nice and expensive gifts do not make up for the words. Honestly, they don’t. To be sure, take an opinion poll. I did and that’s how I came to my conclusion. (But that is not to say you may not send the nice gifts you got for me oh!)

Let’s express love now, on February 14th and then-after.

I love you My People! Happy Valentine’s Day.

God bless us all!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

READING = FEEDING THE MIND, SPIRIT, SOUL & BODY

2010-01-26T08:05:00.006+01:00

Good Morning My People!

How has the past week and weekend been? Hope you have not been picking fights because I talked about being assertive; speaking up and speaking out! You have to apply wisdom when doing these things o! Especially if it doesn’t come naturally to you! Please o! Ehen! If you do not know how to go about it, ask someone whose assertiveness you admire. Or read up on it! These days you have access to information on every topic in this world and even beyond! There are books and there’s the internet. For those of you going “really?!” here’s a newsflash: The internet is not just for Facebook, email, chatting and downloading music and movies! Truly! Try using Google; you’d be amazed at the vastness of the information at your fingertips!

I know this might be a tough call; reading and researching. We don’t do a lot of that any more in Nigeria and most parts of the world. Reading is fast becoming extinct. Facebook and Twitter have taken over. We use up our time participating in mindless chatter and meaningless activities that does nothing for the mind and the thinking faculties except slow them down! If you think I’m being a drama queen (as I’m sometimes accused) ask yourself these questions; “How many books did I read last month alone?” “How many books did I read in 2009?” “What’s the title of the book I’m reading now?” “How many books are there in my reading list for this month?” Now let’s be honest with our answers. Use your tongue to count your teeth!
I’ve always been someone who loved to read and write from a young age. Up until now, I will read anything and everything…well, almost everything and anything, just leave out the blood and gore!

Some people might ask: Will reading increase my bank balance or create opportunities for wealth? I say a resounding YES to that! Bet you think I’m crazy, right? Not so. If you look at the greatest people that ever walked the earth; they were people who read even in times when reading wasn’t available to everyone. Abraham Lincoln, Bill Clinton, Benjamin Franklin, Henry Ford, Donald Trump, Oprah Winfrey, Larry King (and moving closer home) Nelson Mandela, Obafemi Awolowo, Nnamdi Azikiwe, Odumegwu Ojukwu, Wole Soyinka, Gani Fawehinmi, …and so on and so forth! There are a zillion people who are success stories as a result of having an active reading culture.

Reading improves your vocabulary. Do you know how many times you’ve lost an opportunity (maybe a job at an interview) because you came across someone who has no tolerance for wrong tenses and grammar! (E.g. I am application for the post of Personal Assistant. God forbid!).

Reading is an active mental activity or process. Reading makes you use your brain; your sense of reasoning is heightened thus making the grey cells in your brain think and become smarter.

Reading gives you a glimpse of worlds that are alien to you. We know a lot about other countries of the world and what’s going on there, can list the names of streets, states and municipalities, discuss how foreign governments work even though we’ve never been to these places.

Reading improves your concentration level. Unlike magazines, internet posts or emails that have brief chunks of information, books are lengthier and tell a whole story; requiring you to concentrate for a longer period of time.

Reading builds your self-esteem. The more you read, the more knowledgeable you become and the more knowledgeable you become, the more your self-confidence grows, the more your self-confidence grows, the more your self-esteem improves. Because you are knowledgeable, people will look to you for answers which will make you feel good about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself, you can attempt anything! The sky will be your limit!

Reading improves your creativity. It exposes you to new ideas and thinking over the new ideas makes the brain include innovation into the brain’s thinking process, the creative side of the brain is made active.

Now tell me, if you do not have a high sense of self-worth (self-esteem), do not have the ability to stay focused and concentrate on a particular task or goal, if you do not have any clue as to what is happening anywhere in the world besides your immediate environment, if you cannot think creatively and come up with new ideas or innovative ways of carrying out certain functions, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU HOPE TO BE SUCCESSFUL AT ANYTHING?! If reading, which is a relatively cheap habit compared to others I could name, can do all these and so much more, then what’s stopping you? Laziness? My friend, get up and go! Procrastinating? As the sporting goods company Nike would say, just do it! Lack of funds? Fortunately, reading a book once doesn’t exhaust the information in it, so you can borrow from those who have the funds to buy them or you could join or form a book club! Besides, as Benjamin Franklin said “If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.” I wholeheartedly agree with him!

I recently met a young intelligent man who happens to be the CEO of his own company (which is very successful and pretty popular in Nigeria) and his parting shot when I was leaving was to give me a book. I know a few more people like that; successful young people who read a lot. Make friends (not just associations or acquaintanceships) with such people and they’ll pull you up as they go up.

I know not everyone will find this easy but this will also help improve your self-discipline; decide to read at least one book a month (for the slow and unenthusiastic readers) or two a month (for those who just let their reading time get swallowed up by work, family and other everyday activities). Make out a time in each day or week that is reserved for reading. And please, when I say reading, I do not mean romance novels (though they can have their uses I guess!) but books that will contribute positively to your existence, to your quest to become a success story in your chosen area of expertise. If you look around at the CEOs and top officers of most companies (especially blue-chip organizations) you’ll find that they read a lot, they have books in their cars; in their drawers…I even have a friend who has a shelf of books in her toilet! That’s how much she reads! She is one of the smartest young management executives I know.

My mentors (LB, Amos Habila and a few others), now that I think on it, are people who encourage me to read, read and read some more. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to improve yourself and one way to do this is by reading.

A reading people are less selfish, more understanding, more imaginative, more creative, innovative and inventive, have a can-do attitude, are more successful, more law-abiding, and more patriotic. If Nigerians (already an intelligent people even with the illiterate population far outnumbering the literate) become a reading people, imagine what Nigeria can become!

Start reading today! With our books in our hands, we can build ourselves and this nation into a force to be reckoned with!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

P.S. For these and more on why you should read try:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/importance-of-reading.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Importance-Of-Reading&id=354498
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_importance_of_reading_books
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_importance_of_reading_books

For some books to read (we’ll start small)

Speak Up and Speak Out or Roll Over and Die!

2010-01-19T07:27:00.002+01:00

Good Morning My People!

How is the new year treating you? Or should I ask “how are you treating yourself in this new year?” Has any of your resolutions or goals for the month of January been achieved or met? One of mine has! I actually gave myself the first quarter but it’s happening in the month of January! And all because I put fear aside and grabbed the bull by the horns; I spoke up and out! There’s something to be said for taking the initiative, believe me. I’ll give you details later.

Something happened to me recently that really got me wondering at the uniqueness of the human mind! It made me realize how we go around daily minding our own business never realizing that we have hurt someone or bruised some egos. And if unfortunately that person happens to be someone who bears a grudge, keeps quiet and just fumes; watch your back!

I had tried to change the looks of my blog for Christmas but because I was in a hurry and somewhat impatient, it came out horrible! (I’m pretty certain some of you must have puked at the colours! I actually had a complaint!) Now imagine my excitement when my friend (whom I love and admire a lot and will probably always will) who’s got a blog as well changed the looks of her blog for the new year; it was exquisite! I promptly decided I was going to make mine even more smashing! (I am a very competitive person. Almost everything is a competition for me though I may not let on. Be warned!).

I was at my computer well into the night trying to figure out how she did it. Studied her blog with a microscope till I figured it out! I found the Free Blog Template Download site, went there and downloaded almost all the templates they had there, trying to figure out which best personifies me. Bet someone is wondering why I didn’t just ask her outright. That’s me; the sense of accomplishment wouldn’t have been there if she had helped me. Unfortunately, after much trials, uploads, downloads and deletions, it turns out the template she picked out was the cutest of the lot. And I used it.

Now, I get to the koko of the matter (the meat of the gist for the non-Nigerians or the “tush” Nigerians). Imagine the excitement and pride with which I told her my ordeal the night before and my triumph! And imagine my shock a few days later when she called me to let me know she was unhappy that I “stole” her idea, how this was equal to copyright violation, how I didn’t give honour to her in my blog, how I should have asked her permission before downloading the template from the internet etc. The long and short of it was copyright violation of some sort; I was now a PIRATE! (I feel like Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean! I love that guy!)

Though I’m still not quite sure about this, I am glad she voiced her sentiments and didn’t bear a grudge. I’m glad we were friends enough to discuss this and put it behind us such that neither one of us is uncomfortable with each other nor our friendship affected (I think!).

I believe voicing out boldly is something we Nigerians don’t do enough of. If we did, our problems would be less, I reckon. But we just keep quiet or hide in anonymity. I was reading today’s Guardian (Tuesday 19, 2010) and on the front page was the story of our absent, sick, comatose or dead president (choose your choice!) and what the senate was doing about it. A lot of senators and members of the House were quoted entreating the President to hand over to the Vice President but all of them pleaded anonymity! Only former governor of Lagos, Tinubu spoke out boldly in his name. We are afraid to speak our opinions for different reasons but sometimes we should stand for the right thing regardless of whose ox is gored. We are guilty of this (I, very recently so, ashamedly!)

Sometimes we find that all the situation needs is someone to stand up for what is right. The march in Abuja got mentioned as one of the reasons why the Senate (or was it the House of Reps.) was taking action. If you do not speak up, you will be ignored and relegated to the background. I heard tell of a woman who was in labour at a hospital but the nurses ignored her because she wasn’t yelling off her head while they attended to someone else simply because she was about to bring the roof down with her screams!

If you won’t speak up be ready to be swallowed up by the tide of events because no one will notice you are there. You’d be surprised to know that in discussions after the fact people always ask of those who kept quiet and got hurt; “But why didn’t you say something?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” Most people would appreciate being told when they’ve stepped out of line because it helps them work towards being a better person.

I have determined that I will be more vocal about my feelings, my needs, my pains...everything! I will try as much as possible to be diplomatic and not hurt anyone in the process but I will not spare your feelings and damage myself in the process. I have included this as one of my 2010 resolutions! (That my spreadsheet is getting crowded!). I will speak up when the wrong decisions are being taken. I will speak up when someone is doing the wrong thing, breaking a law etc. I will speak up! And I hope you will, too because one voice trilling alone is nothing to the roar of a crowd.

God bless us all.

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation. Amen!

New Year Resolutions Going Extinct?!

2010-01-06T19:54:00.001+01:00

Good Morning My Precious People and Happy New Year!!!

We made it! Yippee! We made it to the first year of a new decade! Isn't God good, kind and generous? Because between you and I, we know that that young chap who died on 31^st December was not any more deserving of his fate than we are. Or the young lady who hung herself on Christmas day (only God knows why). Or the couple who died in a car crash on their way to their hometown. Or the young man who was kidnapped on his way to bury his father. Don't you just want to thank God again and again for this beautiful year with all the opportunities, promotions, love, greatness and goodness ahead of you? I know I do. And I have. And I will. Again and again…

In times past, once the beginning of a new year comes around we begin to make a list of "new year resolutions". We want to quit smoking, drinking, premarital sexing (ehn, leave the English like that; it's called literary license!), adultery, extravagant spending (I'm most guilty of this, God help me!), wife-beating, husband-abusing/disrespecting, procrastination, laziness, lose weight, gain weight, get another degree, start saving, take a trip abroad, get married, buy land, a car, a house…the list is endless of what could be a new year resolution.

But these days I hear less about resolutions at the end or beginning of a year. And why is that? I figure it's because half the time we find that we lose our drive and momentum by the second month of the new year and abandon most (if not all) our resolutions. From personal experience, this is usually because the challenges come; the obstacles, the disappointments and we lose heart, become frustrated and give up. Believe me, I understand that the present situation in Nigeria does not encourage one to plan for anything beyond a day; a missing president, a questionable justice system, a heart-rending government, a political time-bomb, economic instability, non-existent infrastructure, a selfish and corrupt citizenry, a non-existent police force (in the true sense of the word) and to cap it all, we have now been added to the list of terrorist countries thanks to that misguided spoilt and idle young man! So how can we in the face of all these have the zeal and optimism to plan for a year of achievements?

Well, knowing all these will be there anyway, wouldn't it make more sense to expect them, prepare to overcome them rather than roll over and allow circumstances to kick us in the teeth? Or worse still sit back and watch the world roll by because we have lost hope? God forbid! (Reminds me of the parable of the talents (Matt 25:14-30); the guy just buried them and folded his arms! Talk about wasted opportunity!) If we keep letting every wind that blows bend us in the direction it wills and we shrug and bend simply because it is easier, then why are we humans? God has blessed us with the gift of choice. It is our choice to succeed! Yes it is! It is our choice to be happy and to stay happy! It is our choice to stand firm in the face of adversity! It is our choice to say "Enough!" It is also our choice to chicken out and run; to throw in the towel and give up on life, our dreams and aspirations; to live a life filled with regrets, bitterness and blame-casting. Never mind that there's always someone handy to blame, the government, the politicians, Babangida, the colonial masters, Soludo/Sanusi, your rich but stingy uncle, your boss, PHCN...; in our hearts we know that we could have stuck it out longer, worked harder, chosen to react to certain situations differently for a better outcome. The situation could be different if we had "chosen" differently. Well, we still can. Let the past go with 2009. Today marks the beginning of the rest of your life. Let's not give ourselves more cause for regret.

So why don't you get cracking with that list? While writing it, create a column for the different challenges you may face before each resolution is achieved; that way, you are prepared. Also have a list of people who have done what you are resolving to do; you may need to call on them when unexpected obstacles pop up (as they are wont to do).

I have gone an extra step and created a spreadsheet and have categorized my NYRs (New Year Resolutions for short! I too much ehn?!): Finance (which is a category close to my heart being an Igbo girl and all!), Career (draw up a PDP [not the political party! A Personal Development Plan!]), Health, Social, Body (fitness and beauty are covered here; I am a babe and I want to stay a babe!), Soul (covers my walk with God), Charity (for those things that are not about me but about others), Nigeria (everything that will help make Nigeria a better place; no bribery, no one-way driving, timely payment of tax and other bills, intimidating less-privileged fellow Nigerians etc and persuading as many Nigerians as I can that this is the first step towards a reformed Nigeria [changing our mindset]) and Extra for those things that don't fall into any of the aforementioned categories i.e. motorbike-riding and intercontinental cuisine cooking classes!). I have also broken the year into four and given myself targets for each quarter and the months in each quarter have targets, too. So in each quarter I must have achieved a certain number of my goals. That way, I don't procrastinate and find myself at the end of the year scrambling to achieve everything. I have also figured out that any achievements recorded will motivate me to stick with the plan. I have also given myself REALISTIC targets! Now feel free to borrow a leaf (or more) from me. Get a journal or a diary and keep track of every goal achieved, every good deed. When you read through it on your down days, it'll lift you up and make you feel better about yourself.

While making this list, try not to make it all about yourself. Intersperse the resolutions with things you must do for others even if they are people who have done nothing for you or are total strangers. Include random acts of kindness and you'll find a special kind of satisfaction and sense of well-being which would increase your drive for personal achievement! This is true! Ask Oprah! Or me!

And like I always say, if more of us do the right thing, change our current mindset then we will outnumber the lawbreakers, the bribe givers and takers, the corrupt people, the gutless lookers-on who will sit on the fence so they can swing either way. And when we outnumber them we can intimidate them into shaping up or getting out!

Don't contribute to the situation in Nigeria! Dare to be different!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

P.S. Hey guys! What do you think about the new face of my blog? Pretty ehn? Like the owner. Quit beefing and appreciate a good thing! There's CNN, Inspirational Quotes, you can even access facebook without leaving the blog! Plus beauty and health tips. Let me know what you think and know that I am open to new and different ideas. Love you all!

My Village Style Christmas!

2009-12-16T20:23:00.001+01:00

Good Morning My People!

How are you preparing for the festive season? I guess for those with kids you must be done with the Christmas clothes and shoes shopping; the rice, tin tomatoes, live chicken (if you are doing frozen chicken you've taken the excitement out of it for the kids!). I'm not doing much by way of preparing for Christmas. Maybe it's because I'm not feeling the season yet. Where's the harmattan? Where are the white bodies and the cracked lips? The dry coldness in the air? Where did it all go?

I remember Christmas when I was a child. First of all, as an Igbo girl brought up in a typical Igbo family by a very traditional Igbo man (my wonderful father, God rest his soul), the star attraction for me was the trip to the village (yes o, I come from a village and I really hope it remains the way it is so my children will enjoy the benefits of going to the "country" away from the city). I looked forward to the long drive despite usually suffering from motion sickness and I do not recall the roads being what I hear they are now. Thank God for the good old days!

First the preparation: The clothes shopping. Ah! The clothes shopping! Much as I loved the idea of owning new clothes (usually 2 sets; one ready-made, the other was native sewn by a tailor, two pairs of shoes, socks and handbags to match) I hated going shopping with my mum. Being a typical mum shopping for 7 children, I understand (now) she was looking for a bargain. We (usually my big sister Ada and I) would trudge after her from store to store at Aswani Market (oh the good old days!) nibbling at whatever treats she gave us for the "chore" of shopping. Despite the tedium it was great fun. Then when we got home, we'd model everything for my dad who would exclaim how beautiful we looked and thank my mum for taking care of us. Imagine the pride and joy we had in the clothes and shoes (even though they were usually a size or two too big so we'd grow into them!).

Before leaving Lagos, we'd spend time with our neighbors, exchanging rice and chicken, eating in each other's houses and then the kids would go off to play in any uncompleted building, undeveloped land or abandoned vehicle while the parents sat around the dining table drinking something or the other (can't recall what they drank but I figure there was beer in the list).

Then the trip: We'd have spent the last week packing up everything from the huge can of petroleum jelly (which my mum would smother us in every morning for fear the harmattan would dry up and crack our skin & which I hated dearly because the smell would snatch my breath for a few agonizing moments) to multivitamins not to mention our savings (monies uncles and aunties had "dashed" us during the course of the year. My mum always tried to cheat us out of this money by claiming she had spent the money on feeding and clothing us and that we even have to balance her! Imagine! So we all switched to our Dad despite threats of dire consequences).

The arrival: It's always a joy arriving at the village in the night and listening to all the relatives and neighbors from nearby compounds rushing out to greet us and exclaiming at how we'd grown (I usually know we're near home when the graded road makes the bus rattle and every bone rattle along with the car!). Then the generator would come on and the maids (we usually had three of them at a time but what do you expect with a family of nine?) would begin to move our substantial luggage into the house. The morning-after was always a time of exploration, discovery and reunion.

Christmas Day: In my village, regardless of when the 25^th of December is, if it does not fall on a particular market day (Eke) then the Eke market day after Christmas is the official Christmas Day. And that is the day every child, adult and even the animals (if they've got any consciousness) look forward to with varying degrees of excitement. (Bet the goats and the chickens would not be overly excited…) We would wear one of our new Christmas outfits and after the lunch of rice, stew and chicken at home, all the kids would proceed to the market. Now, we never went there straight even though it was a straight road from my house. We went from house to house, eating all the way and collecting different kinds of gifts (usually either cash or sweets but cash was usually preferable so we could buy toys and other kiddy stuff; I was never a fan of bangers though and this was the only time in our young lives it was permissible to spend undeclared cash gifts!). In the evenings we would return home, tired, sometimes scratched and bruised (occasional fights broke out but nothing serious) but totally ecstatic at the joys of the day.

This was Christmas for me as a child. And, truth be told, it was a blast! Even knowing now that we could have been travelling to other parts of the world, if I had it to do all over again, I'd choose the village with all the dust, clean air, presence and love of friends, family and strangers!

Looking back at these memories something strikes me; the innocence of those days. How many of us now would let our children eat in our brother's or uncle's house let alone the neighbor? How many of us would let them receive money from distant relatives or even strangers? How many of us let our kids go out into the street to play with other kids? It's a sign of how much we have lost. There is no trust, no love, and no true friendship. Everyone is suspicious of everyone else. Even siblings don't trust each other.

I just thought to share this because I know a lot of us have similar childhood experiences, maybe different but the essence of it remains the same; there was freedom to express love without fear. There are some people I remember till today because of some good deed done during the Christmas period.

Set aside your distrust and suspicion and express love to your friends, family and strangers this season. It doesn't have to be something expensive; a kind word, a compliment, an e-mail thanking them for being in your life this year.

Merry Christmas and a Blessed and Positive 2010 to all Nigerians and Nigeria!

Another Birthday...So What?!

2009-12-02T00:07:00.002+01:00

Good Morning My People!!!

First of all, before you proceed beyond this point, take a deep breath, shut your eyes and begin to pray for me. Pray! Pray that it shall be well with me! Even more so than it is now! Pray! Pray that I shall discover and fulfill the purpose for which I was put on this earth and in Nigeria in particular! Pray! Begin to pray that I shall be a blessing to others, that I will make myself available as a helper of the helpless! Pray! OK. Begin to round up your prayers now! Begin to prophesy that I shall see many more years! In Jesus' name we pray! Amen!

Thank you very much. The reason for all these prayers? It's my birthday today! 2nd December! Isn't that something! I can't believe that I have lived so long on this earth (closer to thirty than I'd care to admit & don't you dare ask!). It seems like yesterday that I fought with Ifeoma in primary three (or was it four?) over who would be the class leader. She won; not the fight but the follower-ship! What about the time I left my school books in front of the school gate on a dare and went home? I got the beating of my life from my mum that evening when she asked for my school books and I could not produce them! (I still cringe at the memory! Aaagghh!) It also seems like yesterday that my Dad used to carry me on his lap whenever I was down with malaria (the usual culprit) and fed me pepper-soup (Ah! The good old days!).

So much has happened in my 20-something years (evasive ehn?) on God's green earth; I can (vaguely) recall the birth of a younger sister, watching her grow and protecting her interests every time it was necessary (imagine my chagrin whenever she's rude to me and I have to pummel her!) but I know she's got my back anytime.

I remember the rare occasion when I told a lie and got a sound beating from my Dad or Mum. Seems to me not enough children these days have experienced their mother's slipper on their backside for a wrong deed. It's now fashionable to have rude children who are incapable of greeting their elders, who are "creative and imaginative" with the truth or materialistic children who do not know (nor care) how hard Daddy has to work to buy those designer stuff (who the heck is Paco Rabane [pronounced kpako by me]?)

If your food was dished (under your personal supervision) and you failed to finish it, say your last prayers (more or less); wastefulness was a mortal sin! Not so these days. Then you had to eat what was made for the whole house. You could only demand a different meal if you were ill (though you'd be too ill to appreciate the joys of that privilege!)

God help you if you were not among the first five in your class after every examination. Lucky for us in my house, we did good in this regard though with varying degrees of ease.

I remember losing my Dad in 2004. I remember thinking my life was over because we were so close. He put his children first, was always present at school events (Open Day, Inter-house Sports, Christmas parties etc) Not for him the "busy executive" image. He made out time for his children, doing everything to make our lives easy. He molded me into who I am today. I try hard to be like him; a kind, thoughtful, generous and selfless human. Sometimes I fail at this and it hurts because I can almost feel his disappointment. But I know if he were here still, he'd say "don't worry, try again".

Today I look back at all these memories and wonder; am I where I ought to be? If I hadn't made certain decisions in the past, would I be singing a different song right now? Would I be writing this post for this blog? Who would I be?

I'm a year older today, so what? What have I got to show for it?

Well, I don't think I've done too badly; I've got a family I love and whom I know love me. I've got a job most people would envy. I've got a wonderful family in the Body of Ushers (which I belong to) in my church. I've got friends whom I know would walk through fire for me if I asked it of them and they know I'd do same for them if it's required of me. I've got great mentors who point me in the right direction when I'm contemplating deviating (LB, Habila, Cathy). I've got what I call "Motivating Factors". These are people (friends, strangers, colleagues and even enemies!) who encourage me in whatever I do and are non-judgmental. I'm healthy, intelligent, beautiful and fit. I've got so much creative juices flowing in me I'm at the risk of drowning in it! Above all, I've got an improved relationship with Jesus and my life has become better for it.

Another birthday...So what?! So much! So much to be thankful for! So very much. Despite the conditions trying hard to cripple Nigeria (lack of power supply, life-threatening roads, fuel scarcity, a corrupt citizenry, an ailing/absent president etc) there's a lot for which I am grateful for today. I've counted my blessings and they have left my mouth open in awe. You should try it (be it your birthday or not), you'd be amazed what there is to be thankful for.

Thanks for the prayers.

God bless us all!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

And So…What Is the Point?

2009-11-20T07:00:00.002+01:00

Good Morning My People!!!

Isn't it incredible how bone-weary it all gets sometimes? You are tired of everything; your husband/boyfriend (or wife/girlfriend), your friend, your job, your family, your financial situation, your neighbors and even your country! Sometimes I wonder what it's all for? What is the purpose of striving to be the best if there'll be people telling you you're not good enough and no one appreciates the efforts, of fighting to change things for the better if there'll people hell bent on maintaining the status quo for their own personal selfish agenda, of keeping a job when it can be lost at the whim of someone who doesn't even know you or when you're unhappy at it, of staying in a relationship where the other party isn't making any effort or sacrifice and you seem to be doing it all, of making money when millions of naira can depreciate to thousands for reasons you do not quite understand or when the money can cost you a whole lot of tears and blood and brings its own problems

What is the point of falling in love when the love could be unrequited or the person could die at any moment, of bagging all those degrees when you will likely spend 5 years searching for a job (constantly being told you're over-qualified or that you do not have a foreign degree), of studying hard to pass an exam when the lecturer is likely to fail you or "misplace" your script because you refused to sleep with him, of making friends who are likely to stab you in the back, of working hard on a report or project when your colleague or boss would take the glory, get an award/promotion and you're left out in the cold…

What is the point of living, of making the best out of life, of trying to be "someone"? What is the point when we are all going to die and will take none of these riches, intellect, certificates & degrees, loved ones, fame etc with us into the grave? What is the point of it all?

Well, I don't know for a fact what the point is. Maybe someone can tell me. But I'll hazard a guess:

Could it be the point is that every day you wake up alive, you can look back at yesterday and pat yourself on the back for helping someone, for making a difference to even one person's perspective of humanity and/or for living an exemplary life (or at least making every effort to live one)?

Or could it be that the point is to ensure that when you are at your deathbed there will be very few bitter regrets?

Maybe the point is so when you face your maker and your existence on earth is being judged, you would get a good report.

Who knows what the point is because I'm really wondering?

For Gani Fawehinmi what was the point of a lifelong battle against corruption and fighting for the underdog?

For Dele Giwa what was the point of standing for the truth even unto death?

For Kanu Nwankwo what is the point of the Kanu Heart Foundation; giving a new lease of life to those children?

For Tara Fela-Durotoye what is the point of helping young women become entrepreneurs at little cost (when compared to her counterparts)?

For Babatunde Raji Fashola what is the point of a more beautiful and functional Lagos?

For Dora Akunyili, what is the point of fighting so hard to put a stop to the mortality rate as a result of fake/expired drugs?

For YOU (reading this post) what is the point of your existence?

What is the point?

Recently, I have taken to ruminating on life's weightier issues. Maybe it's the malaria/fever (I've been plagued by it for a week now and I hear fever makes you hallucinate!) that has brought on this melancholic mood because I know it's not the effect of my brush with the law some weeks ago (I've fully recovered from that, thank God!). I believe this is something we should do more of once in a while to get our bearing (thinking about life and our role here on earth). Granted, you may feel like throwing in the towel, giving up. You may even feel like crawling into a hole and staying there (maybe not literally but in your thinking, your actions and reactions to situations around you). Some may turn to the bottom of a bottle for the answers while others will search for it in the arms of loved ones (sometimes total strangers).

But if you ask me, I'd say the answer is in your heart, my heart, our hearts. This is one perspective and I believe there are so many other perspectives out there. If you know what the point is, let's hear it. if you do not know what the point is, let's hear what you think anyway.

In the mean time while you try to fathom this whole thing, take care of yourself, your family, your neighbors, your society and your country because what affects these affects you whether you agree with me or not.

God bless us all.

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!!

P.S: My apologies for not publishing any post for this week; I really have no excuse except…What Is the Point?! Some of you hounded me but this is my reason; guess it's not a very good one after all!

ARRESTED FOR LOVE!

2009-11-09T07:00:00.000+01:00

Good Morning My People!!!

How are things? As for me, things are great! I think I’m in love! Is love too strong a word for something so new? Well, the reason I’m considering love to be what I’m suffering from is due to the fact that I got arrested on Friday night! (6th Nov. 2009. I’ll never forget that date!) And only love could achieve that! (I hope!)

Previously, whenever I heard of people whose excuse for breaking the law was “I was distracted”; “I’ve got issues I was thinking of at the time” etc; I always said in response: “wetin dem dey think so tay dem pass red light...?” Well, now I know what they could possibly have been thinking!

There’s this guy I’m liking and who’s liking me in return (judging by the things he says and does). Well on Thursday night (which was the 5th of Nov.) we had a fight; I accused him of being unsympathetic to my plight (Honda Place dealt me another blow which I discovered at about 10pm but that’s fodder for another day) and he accused me of being manipulative and rude amongst other things. Suffice it to say that we went back and forth through the night till the early morning of Friday. Throughout the Friday neither of us did the usual calling, texting, IMs, mailing or facebooking that we usually did daily. After hours of not being at peace with him (I usually cannot quarrel for long; gives me a stomach upset!), I sent him a funny e-card to apologise. That started off another wrestling bout as he misunderstood me (yet again, I might add!) but then he sends an e-mail apologising! Now, this is where the police and my arrest come in...

I was driving from Kofo Abayomi heading towards Law School both in V.I. and he called. I usually have my mobile phone on hands-free when I’m in the car so I took his call. Imagine how excited I was that we were at peace with each other again that I beat the traffic lights at Law School junction! As soon as I passed I thought to myself “Oh God! The light was RED!”. Before I had finished thinking the thought a battalion of police and mobile police men (seemed like a full battalion at the time!) descended on me with the usual screams of “Park well!", “Clear well!”, “Inner light!”, “Come down”! I was in a state of shock; I’ve never broken any traffic rules before! Never even had any encounter with a police officer before! I told “him” what had happened and said I’d call him back. I did as they ordered (minus getting out of my car). The Mo-Pol guy who stayed with me asked me if I knew what I’d done and I admitted to beating the light. I could see his joy at my ready confession. To this he asked me what he should do. To that I replied “You will forgive me and I will thank you!” (Did I hear you say “Ignorant JJC”?). Well, he asked for 10,000 NGN at which point I decided to appeal to his romantic nature (not knowing that to be a policeman, every romantic cell in your body would have been killed off during training!) by telling him how come I was distracted...yes, the whole “fight with the boyfriend” story came pouring out. He replied “Madam, na one of those things ehn? No fight with Oga again o! You no get right to fight am.” Then in the next breath “So wetin you get for us? Do fast before we carry you go station!”

To cut a long story short, I refused to bribe them and they refused to let me go for about an hour! But all is well that ends well.

Now I have more sympathy for some law breakers. Notice my emphasis on SOME! I’m still up in arms against lawlessness of any sort especially coming from a Nigerian. I say especially because I’m a Nigerian and I refuse to believe that a typical Nigerian is one who breaks laws, is a cheat and is selfish amongst other evil things. Now with the international community it’s a case of “give a dog a bad name...” As soon as you identify yourself as a Nigerian, you can feel the animosity. Every black person who commits a crime and is caught claims to be Nigerian because we are notorious for crime. This is the reason we have to work harder to tear apart that horrible image by showing the world who we truly are: a warm, honest, hardworking and strong-willed people.

So this week, do something outstanding that throws positive light on Nigeria and that encourages other Nigerians around you to make more efforts to show that 9ja factor (everything good, everything warm, everything great!)

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

God bless us all!

AM I THERE YET? MORE TO THE POINT; WHERE AM I GOING?!

2009-10-31T07:00:00.001+01:00

If you had your life to live all over again, what would you do differently?
In what profession would you have liked to build a career in?
Why that particular profession?
What are your talents/gifts?
What are you doing with them now?
How has taking advantage of these gifts/talents helped you?
How have you used these gifts/talents to help others? How?
What singular decision have you taken that you would have made earlier in life?
What decision have you made that would have been side-stepped totally?
Who would you have helped (more)?
Why this person?
Who would you have refused to help?
Why not?
If you were told you're going to die right now, what would be your greatest regret(s)?
If you were told you're going to die right now, what would be your legacy to the world?
What is/are your greatest fear(s)?
Why is this a fear?
What is your biggest current challenge?
How long has it been a challenge?
Why, in your own estimation, is this a challenge for you?
What have you done to surmount it?
What is your biggest character flaw?
How do you know?
What have you done to erase this flaw?
What is your most commendable character trait?
How often do others commend this trait?
In all honesty, can your life be likened to a rat-race or a runner on the treadmill; running but going nowhere?

Bet some of you are wondering if I actually expect anyone to answer these questions. The answer is a resounding "YES"!!! Why? Because it just might help someone. In some foreign newspapers I've encountered (not much mind you but enough to matter) when people die, they put the cause of death in their obituaries. This helps keep track of the number of people who die of certain causes and precipitates research into how to reduce the number of people who die of that cause. In Nigeria, when people die we say "…brief illness" even when it took the person months to die or when the person was 96 years old! What I'm trying to say is this; if we do not share difficulties, challenges and how we have dealt with them, other people experiencing similar situations will have to suffer long while they find an answer or solution. We can help others with our testimonies. They may be different situations but you would have pointed the person in the right direction either by changing his/her mindset to believe that they can get out of it someway, somehow or by showing them how to find help from a specific quarter out of that situation.

I would like for as many people as possible to answer these questions ANONYMOUSLY here on the blog. I'm also carrying out a survey to find out as much as I can about Nigerians, what makes us tick, what brings us down, how hard we fight against being brought down, what has molded us into the people that we have become today etc. Now I emphasize ANONYMOUS because I don't want husbands and their wives quarrelling on my account! Abeg o! Even if you do not answer these questions on the blog, you can get your personal journal out and list out the answers these questions (you do not have a journal! Gasp! Double gasp!! Get one quickly!). It will help you take stock of your life; measure how far you have come and help chart a new course if it's required. If you are on course then you can be encouraged to know that you are doing something right. If you do decide to share, know that you might be encouraging others; giving them hope that the challenge they have is conquerable. There are so many other questions that come to mind but I cannot put all of them up here. Feel free to add/share questions that come to your mind that would help us be our best; realize our hidden (and not-so-hidden) potentials. A candle doesn't lose anything by lighting another candle! A good exercise for the heart is to stoop to help another up!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

God bless us all!

IT'S THAT OLD WITCH IN THE VILLAGE!

2009-10-23T07:00:00.001+01:00

Good Morning My People!!!

Have you ever had things not work according to plan or found yourself in a situation you are uncomfortable in and decide it's not your fault but someone else's? The Super Eagles didn't win because Coach Shuaibu doesn't know his left from his right. Shuaibu didn't take the Eagles to victory because of that corrupt and disorganised NFA. NFA is corrupt & disorganised because of Sani Lulu. Sani is there in the first place because there's nepotism involved in his appointment by the Presidency...on and on it goes. I'll paint another picture; we complain we are not at our best or experiencing hardship because the economy is bad. The economy is bad because infrastructure is non-existent. Infrastructure is non-existent because the funds for it are being embezzled by corrupt and greedy government officials. Corrupt & greedy officials are in authority because we voted them in. We voted them in either by selling our votes for short term benefits or by tucking away our votes & not using them because we do not care about our country... I find that you can apply this to every and any area of your life. Casting blame, pointing fingers etc.

I'll start with a young friend of mine who has been having issues with his boss (or so he feels). He has made all sorts of allegations (I call them allegations because I don't know the other side of the story). So because he is disgruntled he has allowed himself to become demotivated, uninspired and has stopped making any effort in his work. He blames all of this on his boss being a poor people manager, picking on him, the company not being fit for humans to work, not a place where you can grow, where ideas are not welcome but stifled etc. So now he just does what he is asked to do, never initiates any changes, doesn't share his ideas on how processes could be improved on etc. And in doing all these and much more (or less, depends on how you look at it), he has succeeded in making himself unhappy, miserable, unsure of his competencies and abilities not mention make his boss question his contribution towards the achievement of organisational goals and well on his way to being chucked out!

Now I know we have all at one point in time or the other experienced this or situations similar to this (I know I have). Our first reaction is always to blame someone. For some, a series of misfortunes is caused by some elderly relative back home in the village who is jealous that you're in the city and his kids or grand kids are not (see any Nigerian home video for further illustration!). Anyway, I've got news for you (and for myself, too). EVERY SITUATION YOU FIND YOURSELF IN, YOU HAVE, IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER CONTRIBUTED TO IT. Yes! Be honest to yourself if not to anyone else! Now, that you know it's not the village witch alone, there's no need for regrets or self-recriminations (men, I go school!). Make a choice; do I accept responsibility and chart a course out of this storm-tossed sea or do I insist it's someone's fault and rail at God, man and the government while insisting that another fixes the situation while I stand by and tell them how to fix it? (If you notice, we do a lot of talking in this country and no action).

It is so much easier to blame someone else but turn a completely blind eye to our deficiencies and contributions to the problem. We say government is inefficient. Who put the people in government in that position of authority & power? You and I did. By not voting the right for the right reasons (if we voted at all!). We claim the education system has crumbled but how many of us belong to the Old Students Association of our Alma mater? If we do, what have we done to sustain them? We say politicians and public office holders are corrupt and flaunt it openly. Why won't they? When there are only a few people who gainsay them. What have we done about their corruption and lack of respect for the populace? We celebrate them, give them chieftaincy titles and honorary PhDs; welcome them into our homes, sing their praises and all the time hoping to get in on the action. Either these or we turn a blind eye and shrug then decide it's really got nothing to do with us. But in actual fact, it does! Everything does! And that's why we are here; in this situation of stagnation. It is a curse when a nation is so totally irresponsible it has seeped into the nursery schools! What are parents doing?! I'll tell you what they are doing; NOTHING! Why? Because they cannot give what they do not have! If you do not have any principles how then can you instill them in your children? It will be false and believe me, children can tell when things are false.

I ask myself, "Uwa, where are you going with all these?". and the answer is simple: "We need to begin to accept that we are a part of the problem (if not all of it!) in our lives, our society and in our country!". We need to reinvent ourselves to something better. Change our thinking. Insist on changing things. It may be likened to swimming against the current but hard as it is, if you let the current sweep you along, it will take you wherever it pleases and that is usually to destruction! Let's stop allowing the mud stick to us because when it does, we blend in with the dirty, murky muddy puddle. But when we shake off the mud, we stand out clearly and sooner or later someone's going to notice you. Notice that it is very frustrating standing still, complaining and whining about a situation but when you take action (even if you fail) you will be fulfilled and say to yourself "at least, I tried". If your kids ask you what you have done about a bad situation you so often grouse about, what will you say?

So, what will it be? What's your choice? What will you do about that situation in your home, your office or the situation in Nigeria? For Nigeria, it doesn't have to be anything major or drastic because it's the little things that add up. Start with not breaking basic simple rules & regulation; drive without being selfish (stop taking one-way), get rid of waste in the appropriate way, cultivate a high standard of responsibility, pay your taxes...you know what to do so DO IT!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

God bless us all!

AAAAND IT'S A GOOOOOAAAAAL!!!

2009-10-16T14:03:00.003+01:00

Good Morning My People!!!

I have just recently discovered that I cannot play soccer to save my life! In the past two weeks, in my search for some excitement to spice up my existence (I have been agonizingly bored!!!), I have participated in several activities that have educated me and opened my eyes to new facets of my person. Some of these new knowledge I could have lived my full 120 years without knowing or suffering from it! (such as my lack of dribbling, passing, shooting or goalkeeping skills!).

What activities did I get up to? I decided to give back to society. (It’s not just the prerogative of multinationals, you know!) It is the responsibility of every living human being to give back to the less privileged around. I know there’s a lot of blessings tied to it. You do not always have to give back in monetary terms. You could give of your time, knowledge, skills or just by your presence, kind words or gestures.

I was privileged to team up with the Down Syndrome Association of Nigeria; hereinafter called DSAN (I love speaking legalese!) through a friend of mine who is the MD of an oil services company in Ikoyi (so you cannot give the excuse of lack of time unless you’re the President of a country! If you are the President of a country; any country and you read my blog, please let me know o! Abeg! So I can call you to the high table!).

The DSAN is a not-for-profit NGO catering to the needs of children (and adults) with Down syndrome, rendering help and support to their families and caregivers. They had an awareness week filled with different activities to bring the plight of the aforementioned people to the consciousness of society. There was a Press Conference on 30th September (I was not a part of this for obvious reasons), a Walk on 3rd October (we walked from Sheraton Hotels Ikeja, through Mobolaji Bank Anthony Way through Opebi, Allen and to Aromire Avenue in Ikeja. With the band it was a blast!), a Seminar on 6th October (couldn’t make it because of work), a Fundraising Dinner at Golden Gate Ikoyi on 8th October (went there from work dressed to the nines! It was an eye-opener about the artistic abilities of these wonderful people!), then finally, the Family Fun Fair Event/5-a-side soccer tournament (which was where I discovered my lack of soccer skills!) on 11th October.

I didn’t spend much money being a part of this association (I’ll have money soon in Jesus’ name! Amen) but gave my time, my voice, my presence and I can confidently say that none of those children will forget me in a hurry because I made sure they mattered in every interaction I had with them (I have been adopted by a few of them!). I do not know anyone with Down syndrome (as I have been asked often when I speak about it) which goes to show that we should not limit our offer of help to only those who are directly connected to us.

Stop being selfish; always thinking about yourself and your problems! Open your eyes and look around you; there are people whose problems are worse than yours. There are people whose problems you can solve. Try that and God just might send a helper to solve your own problems. Helping could be as a mentor to some young person around you who needs a guiding hand, saying a kind word to people around you and just generally being a civilized human being in your community. The government cannot do it all or alone. There are people who will not need the assistance of the government if only their neighbors can become ‘neighbors’ in the true sense of the word. Let us be neighbors to our neighbors. Start from your street, office and spread the love from there. We complain the government does not care about the people; do the people care about the people? If we did, I wouldn’t be getting that mail about ritual hotspots from everyone in my address book (even strangers are sending it!), we wouldn’t be driving with such careless abandon and disregard for other road users (driving one-way), we would own up when we have messed up instead of looking for a scapegoat, we would pay our taxes, we would hold people around us accountable when it is required…I could go on and on but I bet you get the picture. Let’s do what is right, do your part, I’ll do my part and Nigeria will be more conducive for human beings to live in. Let’s score one for humanity and Nigeria with one shot.

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

P.S. These links will help you decide which charity organizations you want to volunteer with (if you’re interested).
http://www.nigeriagalleria.com/Agencies_and_Organizations/NGOs.html (lists published are not exhaustive)

http://www.nnngo.org/membership/mlist.htm (lists published are not exhaustive)

IS YOUR JOB YOUR JOB?

2009-10-12T07:00:00.006+01:00

Good Morning My People!!! (if it's not morning at the time you're reading this...sorry o!)

Thank you for all of your compliments (if you didn't compliment me, don't worry; I know you planned to but got distracted!). Some of you have even suggested a change in occupation! (Gasp!) Isn't that a bit too drastic?! I mean, do we have to turn everything we love doing into a career? I do a lot of things well and believe me, there's no way on earth I can earn a living out of all of them! For instance, I love to write, teach/lecture/public speaking, design and sew clothes, draw and paint, make-up and accessorize, interview people, fiddle with mechanical equipment, decorate homes, put together gift packages, plan events (have actually planned a social/political event that had governors and other political heavyweights in attendance!), dance and eat! (whew! I was running out of breadth!). I not only love to do these things but do them effortlessly! (seriously! jokes apart!). But imagine trying to turn all of them into occupations at the same time! I'd end up not doing any of them well (or probably end up in the hospital! [psychiatric ward!]) which is where career planning comes into play (not the psychiatric ward!!! Stop at "...doing any of them well").

In Nigeria we do not really plan our careers but stumble on it. I personally never really thought of Human Resources (not sure at the time I was in secondary school I knew what that was!). I wanted to study Mass Communications and build a career in electronic media (did I hear you say "Ehen! I talk am!"? Whatever!). As I was saying, we really do not plan our careers. Several times as an HR professional, I have had to speak to fresh graduates about jobs and careers; whenever I ask "what's your career plan?", they are clueless! Or when I ask what they want to do with their lives, they say "anything"! At which point I get on my soapbox! Even now that we know better (or should know better) we still just trudge on from day to day without a thought as to where we are going, when, how and with what. Even if you are a stay-at-home mum/wife (I hate the term "housewife"! Reminds me of "housefly"...something mean and nasty!), you should still plan your future as a mum and wife and how to succeed (this is, to me, even more important than being the busy exec; your staff [the kids] will be a lifelong testimony of your success or failure!).

On this premise I challenge you to think about your future as a professional, entrepreneur etc. Some careers are based on personality. i.e. you cannot be in sales if you are an introvert. There are some tests you could take that would help you. I have attached a link that should help. It's never too late (or too early if you've got kids) to consider career planning (or re-planning as the case may be!).

It's not enough that you earn "armed-robber salary" (as we say); Are you happy (to a reasonable extent)? Do you wake up every morning dreading going to work (and it's got nothing to do with the boss or colleagues)? Do you have a yearning to be someplace else besides at your job? Do you get excited at other people's projects? Do you find yourself torn between 2 or more possible-occupations? If you answered "yes" to at least 2 of these questions, then you need a re-think about your choice of occupation! Believe me, life's too short to spend it hating every moment, every one and every thing including the world because you're frustrated at your job. Chances are; if you enjoy what you do, you'd excel at it! And before you know it you're 60 and wondering what you spent your life doing and too old to learn or do the things you love. A sad picture that would be.

If you are in the right job for you, you'd be happy. If you are happy, your output will be excellent. If it is excellent then you have contributed to the growth of Nigeria in one way or another! Or what do you think?

Let me know if the link and this post helped. If the link didn't help, do some research! The Internet was not invented for Facebook alone, you know!

GOD BLESS US ALL!

NIGERIA! GOOD PEOPLE!! GREAT NATION!!!

http://careerplanner.com/

How I Spent My Last Holiday (Prologue)

2009-10-02T15:18:00.002+01:00

Good Morning My People!!!

I AM BACK!!! Bet you all missed me. I do not need to ask; I’ve got mails, sms and phone calls to prove it! You love and missed me!! Say it!!!

I quite enjoyed my vacation; Ghana was great except I really did feel like a third wheel (some of the time), what with having my friend Jane and her fiancé The Law (as I call him in my head!) there with me! Some of you may not know but I was “seeing” someone up until August so going away on vacation with The Lovey-Dovey Couple (hereinafter called "The LDC") was not my idea of a get-away vacation! But they were great.

Besides this, my visit to Ghana left me depressed, upset and with a mild feeling of hopelessness. Why? BECAUSE, NOT TOO LONG AGO, THEY SOUGHT REFUGE IN NIGERIA BECAUSE THEIR COUNTRY WAS UNFAVORABLE, WERE CHASED OUT OF NIGERIA BECAUSE WE COULD NOT HARBOUR THEM ANYMORE (remember Ghana-Must-Go) AND NOW THE PLACE IS WHAT I PRAY EVERYDAY THAT NIGERIA WOULD BECOME! Clean streets, good roads, no okadas (commercial bikes), no frustrating traffic jam, uninterrupted power supply (at least for the 4 days I was there the current didn’t even fluctuate!), polite citizens, civil policemen (most of who did not carry arms), unselfish & patient motorists...I could go on and on but just look at it this way; list all the negatives in Nigeria, they are positive there. It was really disheartening but it made me realise that it is achievable. All we need to do is get off our butts, move out of our comfort zones, quit being selfish, stop accepting mediocrity, stop blaming the government, the politicians and everyone but ourselves. Yes, ourselves because we play the most important role in fixing this country. We are the ones who drive one-way, who bribe PHCN officials for fake meters, illegal connections or clearing of meters without paying bills. We are the ones who want to make a 500% profit on everything yet refuse to pay taxes, who are selfish and reckless in our road use, who toss garbage out of moving vehicles into the street, who are so lazy we do not want to work but scheme and plan to cheat our fellow Nigerians (not to mention foreigners) whichever way we can. The government is not messing up this country alone, we are right in front of the race to destroy Nigeria!

I am on a mission o; to clean up Nigeria! Who’s with me?! NIGERIA, GOOD PEOPLE; GREAT NATION (not true really as of now but by the grace of God & our hard work...)

FIRE + BRIMSTONE = ACTION!!!

2009-09-17T10:17:00.002+01:00

Good Morning My People!!!

Firstly, I'm still all excited at the responses I've gotten from My People who visited me here; thanks for making me feel important. Some of you peeps still insist on sending your comments to my mailbox...well...I'm not offended o but I'd really like for you to make the comments here so others can share in it.

I'll be taking a one week leave starting tomorrow so officially, today is my last day of work till the 29th of September (it's more than a week really counting the public holidays and the weekends!). I'm gonna have a blast! I'm going to Ghana (My REAL People would know) and I'll be sure to give you guys all of the details with pictures to boot! (Ok. Maybe not quite all of the details...)

Another good news! My car gets out of prison next week Wednesday! Yippee!!! But it's funny the way we operate in Naija; if I hadn't raised hell and damnation on the staff of The Honda Place, I would still have been hearing stories ("we are expecting a shipment of parts from Japan"...or is it China?). I made several calls to everyone I know who could do something, making threats of dire consequences and eventually their Workshop Manager calls and in two days he achieved what could not be done in almost 2 months! My questions:
1) Why wait till the customer's patience wears thin?
2) Why take action only when you have been threatened with bodily harm and a vacation at a police cell?
3) If you know your job why not do it because it's your job?
4) Why do we have to operate like this in Nigeria; people being so lazy with a careless disregard for their employers, their customers and their sense of accomplishment?
5) We all are ready to throw stones at the policticians (or more recently, sacked bank MDs) for the corruption in Nigeria when in our own little ways we contribute to it probably moreso seeing as they make up the minority of the country's population.

...I could go on and on but to what purpose? I enjoin you to do the best you can at your workplace knowing that though noone else notices, God does and He has promised to reward us for our diligence (1 Corr. 15:58)

P.S. If you've got answers to my questions, please, feel free to share them here.

God bless us all.

Official Welcome Speech

2009-09-15T15:17:00.000+01:00

Good Morning My People!!!

Is this cool or what?! I've got my very own blog! Me! Uwa Obasi Odefa The First! The Aka N'enyelu Oha Aka 1 of Oshiri Autonomous Community of the Salt of the Nation (if you do not know which state is the Salt of the Nation, then you ought to be ashamed of yourself! You are not a true Nigerian!)

Anyway, I'm so excited about this blog! Maybe it's a bit too early to have one but...hey! who cares?! It's costing me nothing!!! (I so love free stuff and 'awoof' no dey run belle!)

If you are visiting this blog for the first time (Duh...Uwa, it's a NEW BLOG! Everyone is visiting for the first time...including YOU!). I should have said; if you are joining "My People" list for the first time then I love you and thank you for your time. I believe somewhere on this blog you'll find previous (episodes, articles?) of "Good Morning My People!!!" (I haven't quite figured out how to do that but...hey trust me; it's a done deal).

If you are an old name on "My People" list, I love you more now than ever! Thanks for all your support.

Now, you all can share your thoughts, experiences and your love for me without clogging up my inbox!

Enjoy!

Uwa Obasi Odefa The First
(The Aka N'enyelu Oha Aka 1 of Oshiri Autonomous Community of the Salt of the Nation!)

MY TRIPLE R STRATEGY!

2009-09-14T17:56:00.000+01:00

Good Morning My People!!! (for first-timers on "My People" list, this is a not-so-recent "madness"! Welcome aboard!)

How was your weekend? I had a somewhat tense weekend; I had to be at work all day Saturday. It was not a laughing matter especially as it rained and I had to depend on public transport which is unreliable at the best of times. But a friend advised me not to allow situations steal my joy and smile and I took her advice. Now I laugh in the face of difficulty and look for an escape route! You should try it too.

I'm planning a trip to Ghana this weekend. I've never been there (OK, truth be told, I've never left the shores of Nigeria as an adult, not even to Cotonou!). Unfortunately, I'm going with a girlfriend and her fiance so I'm going to be sort of a third wheel! I've never been a third wheel! Wonder what will happen, how it'll feel. Reason for this trip? I'm going away to think about my life; Re-plan, Re-make and Re-launch! (I too much eh! No try my rhyming skills!). When I come back, I'll be a whole new me! Outwardly I'll be the same (fine girl no pimples!) but watch out for the Remix of Return of The Uwa.

There are a few people in my life right now I do not like very much (and I have my suspicions that the feeling is mutual!). They seem to be doing their level best to make my life miserable. Well, they are also part of my Triple R Strategy (you know, Re-plan, Re-make and Re-launch!). I got this short message that helped me Restructure the idea of my Triple R Strategy as well as change my approach to handling these people (OK. Seems to me there's a lot of "re"-ing going on). I know some of you have people in your lives you firmly believe have been sent by the devil to lead you straight to hell! (I know I have!). Well, see a guide below on how the bible suggests we handle them...

P.S. Have a wonderfully blessed week ahead and think of something fun you will do during the long weekend (I hear Monday and Tuesday are Islamic Public Holidays! Yippee!!). If you feel like you are stuck in a rut; then feel free to borrow my Triple R Strategy (Re-plan, Re-make and Re-launch). Stay blessed!

Thank you all for joining me in thanking God for the miracle of Friday. God will deliver you as well when you need deliverance. Amen

OVERCOME YOUR ENEMIES WITH GRACE
One of the best ways to overcome your enemies is to make them your friends.

I made a friend like this back in college. When we were taking an English Literature class together, it seemed like we were always at odds. I was always defending King Arthur as the hero of the books, and she was always defending Queen Guinevere. In class, it seemed like we’d never agree on anything.

But one day we both showed up for tryouts at a college musical. We realized we had more in common than we thought, and both of us softened up in our approach. That softening had such an effect on our friendship, that a few years after college was over, she even agreed to sing at my wedding.

There are times when God calls you to overcome your enemies by destroying them so completely that they no longer have an effect on your life. But there are other times when God calls you to overcome your enemies by winning them over with your love, realizing that the battle may not be against them, but against spiritual forces that may be turning them against you.

The Apostle Paul talks about these battles in his letter to the Ephesians, and the kinds of weapons that God gave them to fight these battles. You might call these “weapons of grace,” weapons that can turn your enemies into your friends!

Listen to these words as Paul describes this spiritual “armor of God.”

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints” (Ephesians 6:10-18).

The next time someone comes against you, speaks against you, or tries to overpower you, go ahead and put on your battle gear. But instead of gearing up with all your usual defenses, try some of God’s. To paraphrase the Apostle Paul:

Be truthful. Be righteous. Be eager to share the gospel of peace. Keep up your faith. Keep in mind that Jesus has already saved you. Speak the truth in love. And keep on praying, continually.

These are God’s weapons of grace, weapons that you can use to defend yourselves, and disarm your opponents, oftentimes with a greater impact than physical weapons could have.

It was through Jesus’ love and grace that He turned you from being His enemy to being His friend (see Romans 5:10 and John 15:15). So it shouldn’t be surprising that God wants you to use these same weapons to overcome your enemies, making them your friends as well. It may not happen overnight, but over time you may just find their hearts softening towards you, as the real enemy, the power of darkness, has to flee when the light turns on.

Remember that your battle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces in the heavenly realm. In a spiritual battle, you need spiritual armor, which is much softer and more gracious than physical armor, but in the end, is much stronger and more powerful.
Put on your spiritual armor today. Clothe yourself with truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, God’s Word and prayer. Let God’s love flow through you to those around you and watch what happens.