When examining modern ideas about the process of aging in terms of female beauty, people are likely to find a rather dichotomized set of camps. Some posit that women should embrace the process, allowing themselves to find new ways to look and feel beautiful. Others focus on the availability of advanced treatments and steps that can be taken to minimize the signs of aging. These issues are central to a new book published by a pair of mental health professionals who were once models themselves. Discussing the psychological impact that feelings about aging can have on women, the work promotes the use of counseling and other services in tandem or instead of a reliance on specialty products.

As scores of issues involving rejection, from difficulty in securing a job to denied lines of credit or foreclosed homes, are breaking into the lives of people throughout the United States and around the world, many may feel confused about their rejection or may develop elaborate and unnecessary reactions. A recent editorial published online, however, reminds those facing rejection that the subsequent opportunity to receive feedback can be a very powerful tool for achieving positive change. Though asking for feedback can be difficult, the author notes, it can lead to remarkable discoveries about oneself that ultimately hold the power to make future successes all the more enjoyable.

While suicide is often thought of as a rare if regrettable occurrence, statistics have shown in the past few years that the issue is actually one of the leading causes of death within the United States, and is the second most prominent killer of people aged fifteen to twenty four. An editorial recently published by a prominent psychology specialist discusses the need for helping at-risk people and their families understand that assistance is available, even in the most seemingly dire of circumstances. Through promoting suicide hot lines and creating greater awareness of therapy, the specialist argues, suicide may retreat from the front lines of mental and emotional difficulties in the years to come.

We are pleased to share with you ten of the week’s top news pieces related to mental health, psychology, and therapy. Happy reading!

• Mother Is ‘More Essential’ to Orphans Than Breadwinner Father, Research Suggests
• Basque Study Confirms Link Between Child Aggression, Conflict-Heavy Homes
• Difficulty Trusting and Reaching out to Others May Shorten Diabetes Patients’ Lives
• Over-Testing Singled Out as Major Modern Health Issue
• Medical Workers Cope with Haiti Quake Relief’s Emotional Toll
• ‘Hearts And Minds’ Promotes Wellness; African Americans Living With Mental Illness Have Higher Risk For Other Illnesses
• Learning May Be Tougher for the Teen Brain
• Family Travels
• Pillar of Human Potential Movement Dies
• Mental Health Board Sees Increase In Services Provided

In addition to these articles, you can also view the top psychology, therapy, and mental health news articles from previous weeks on our Psychotherapy News page, located under the “Therapy News” tab of our main menu.

Click here to contact Sarah and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

I write this on the heals of just having driven to Flagstaff, AZ, an attempt to “wind down,” my soul craving down time, rest, and moments of pure “nothingness.” Yet, I notice my anxiety increasing, for my ego is not happy with me. In fact, it is seething. It doesn’t want to sit. It doesn’t want stillness. In fact, I have noticed, of late, that its internal chatter has become more persistent, attentive, and even petulant at moments. I don’t seem to notice my ego peering over my shoulder, examining the book I’ve read, The Shift, by Wayne Dyer; it arrived from Hay House Publishers for my review. And now, my ego is concerned; it’s not happy with me. It knows the gig is up.

With a constant barrage of agitation surrounding his work, the man sitting next to me is on a rant. I struggle to avoid it. Those “other people” at his work “don’t get it” they are “too small minded to see the value of [his] work.” My stomach is turning and I feel like I am going to be ill. I am viscerally experiencing what Dyer calls the “very twisted world of ambition,” that nurtures the ego’s desire towards “being better than everyone else, winning at all costs, accumulating more stuff, and being seen by everyone else as being brilliantly successful.” My anxiety increases while I feel my energy draining. I struggle to meet the man with compassion, for know I have to. I have been him. I am him. But, I still can’t be near that vibration because it feels too overwhelming. My ego tells says I’m “just being to sensitive.” But all of a sudden, a reassuring inner voice tells me that I’m onto something, and Dyer’s book seems to anchor me in reality.

What Dyer summarizes is that through a focus on ambition, we have bought the idea that what we do, own, and how we are perceived is really who we are. As if a highly skilled snake oil salesman eying us from across the street, peddling his wares, the ego is a trickster. For the glittering goods we buy from him, our self-serving ambitions are the very things that lead to suffering. We fear losing what we have accumulated, thus working harder to get more and more. And, like the man I overheard at lunch today, we become attached to the idea that we must defend our ideas and things because they are “ours.” It is ironic, asserts Dyer, for we are still connected to each other, and to the divine. My, and your, ego would love to keep us separate, but we are connected energetically, albeit that we all bought that snake oil that our egos peddled.

Dyer’s message echoes various ancient texts, including the Upanishads and the Hua Hu Ching, that all of us have forgotten who we are. That in our desire to become, that we have forgotten a shining light within us, our dharma, what we are here to bring into the world. We have forgotten that we already are. That in our focus on the material, we have been consumed by ambition, driven to create lives that look, sound, and feel good from the outside, but are merely costumes. We have forgotten why we are on this journey, forgotten that we were born from an energetic connection to the divine, that formless spirit, God, Source, The Tao. Dyer details that, ironically, the universe is always ready for us to shift, remembering that this place we came from, but instead we buy into what the ego has sold us, that this is where we should be.

The good news is that we were born with a round trip ticket, one we can always use to return to that part of us that always knew its divinity. We just have to be willing to cash it in. We have to close the door on ego’s desires, opening another door, moving towards a life of meaning. And as I eagerly write this, I can note that my ego sarcastically chimes in that “ when one door closes, and another opens, it’s the hallway in between that can kill you.” It’s still persistent, that shady, snake-oil seller. I’m onto it.

The Shift reinforces that if we don’t want what the ego sells, a “U Turn,” ensues, one that involves specific steps to returning to and remembering our connection to Source. To me, this is the most valuable part of The Shift. Dyer thoughtfully, consciously, and skillfully summarizes a 7–Step Summary and 4 Cardinal Virtues that can shift us towards living a life of meaning. And, while echoing the inspiration of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, Dyer’s language transforms what are often seen as inaccessible Eastern principles into a usable and easily understandable Western text.

We can U Turn from what our egos are attached to, challenging ourselves to “be,” to move towards meaning and away from the unreal. Dyer has successfully taught us why, and how to, avoid that ego driven snake oil sales-man. Because of Dyer, we know the ego’s tricks. This time, we have The Shift, and we’re ready for it.

©Copyright 2010 by Sarah Jenkins, MC, LPC. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Sarah and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

The ample medication of people experiencing symptoms of a wide variety of psychological concerns has been heavily criticized in recent years, with many professionals working to push for greater attention to psychotherapy rather than pharmaceuticals. Amidst concerns over such medications and over the psychiatric profession as a whole, some within the community have taken to questioning the validity of psychiatry as a science, wondering if it may in fact be more of an art. In either case, many community members agree that while pharmaceuticals may be capable of helping to improve or even save the lives of many, there are also considerable issues surfacing within the field that must be addressed in order for the art –or the science– to move forward.

One of the greatest concerns brought to the fore in recent discussions about psychiatry has focused on whether rising rates of depression and anxiety are a logical result of a world that has grown increasingly complex, and, in some ways, more stressful. Proponents of the idea suggest that more widespread depictions of violence, increased distance between families, changing forms of social interaction, and other important lifestyle and environmental factors may be largely responsible for the presence of depression, anxiety, and other common concerns in the lives of modern people. As a result, they question the rationality of medicating such symptoms, arguing that doing so without promoting the resolution of these issues may lead to a population less able or willing to face its most important social concerns.

Of course, there are others who posit that the pursuit of easing unnecessary mental and emotional suffering is necessarily relevant and good, and that psychiatry has been and will continue to be a major contribution to the well-being of scores of people. Through continuing the debate, mental health community members and concerned professionals are bound to help enhance their understanding of the meaning and the utility of psychiatry.

While a direct relationship between aggressive behavior in children and difficulty in relationships at home has been studied in some length in many parts of the world, researchers in more remote places are adding their data to the collection, presenting a strong case for the need for more nurturing and stable home environments. Recently, a researcher from the Basque region in Western Europe produced a study of eight year old children, discovering that of the few who exhibited aggressive behavior, there were high rates of disruptive home environments, especially the absence of one or both parents. The work may help family counseling and health advocates make a stronger case for the creation of greater family services.

After first meeting another person, whether for a job interview, a date, or some other purpose, people often attempt to discover how well they’ve performed, though making an accurate assessment can prove challenging. Recently, a research team from Washington University in St. Louis and Wake Forest University conducted a study aimed at measuring how good people are at assessing the perceptions of others after making a first impression. The study was especially notable in that it incorporated a question as to whether the participants felt confident about their scorings. After a study session involving opposite-sex meetings, participants were queried about their own perceptions of success and their idea of the perceptions of their partner, and researchers found that those who reported being confident about their choices were far more likely to be accurate than those who were uncertain.

Click here to contact Darlene and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Women are notorious at finding fault with themselves. A Dove study last year found that over 40 percent of women are unhappy with their looks, and over two-thirds suffer low confidence about their bodies. Many blamed the airbrushed, ideal models for setting unrealistic, unattainable standards. Our societal attitudes are a major cause.

It starts in childhood. Girls’ self-esteem starts to plummet at nine years old, found Dr. Emily Hancock (The Girl Within (Ballantine, 1990). A 1997 Commonwealth Fund survey determined 25 percent of teenage girls didn’t like or hated themselves compared to 14 percent of males, and 27 percent of the girls had had suicidal thoughts. Girls admitted to being very self-critical particularly of their looks and weight. (The New York Times, “Women’s Health,” 11/4/1997) Things have gotten worse instead of better. A new survey by Dove Self-Esteem Fund reports that seven in ten girls are dissatisfied with their looks and/or their performance in school or in relationships. Sadly, many engage in self-destructive behavior.

By the time girls mature, they have an eagle eye that notices what’s wrong far more than what’s right. Self-Criticism is a major contributor to low self-esteem, and although it hasn’t been shown to cause depression, it’s a symptom of depression and often the cause of feeling down or having the blahs.

If you lived with someone constantly complaining about your cooking, your body, your work performance, your ability as a mother, daughter, wife, lover, home decorator, housekeeper, and on top of that also nagged you to diet and exercise more, read more, maybe even pray or meditate more, you’d know why you were depressed, anxious, and wanted to scream all the time. Maybe you do live with someone like that, YOURSELF.

Increasingly, since women have had careers, they feel pressured to excel as mothers, wives, homemakers, and as entrepreneurs and professionals. Perhaps, if you didn’t work you’d have the time to be a better cook, to be with your family; without a family, you’d have more time to focus on your career; if you had neither, you could grow your own vegetables, pursue your hobbies, or spend the day at a spa and feel sexy by evening. But women more than men expect themselves to be topnotch at everything. In truth, one person can’t.

A solution is to accept this reality. What ever you work at, you will improve and excel in. Examine your priorities, and take responsibility for your choices. Commitment to a goal may require hard work, but that’s an option. Changing your perspective and consciously choosing your lifestyle will lift a huge weight of guilt. You may decide not to change anything, but then accept that you’ve elected to divide your time as you do in order to accommodate your different roles and the needs or yourself and family, because they were important to you. If you later criticize yourself for what your not doing or not doing well enough, remind yourself that you’ve chosen to compromise and do less at one thing to make time for something else as well.

Another tactic in combating your critic is becoming more self-aware. Self-criticism is pernicious, because it leads a stealth life, remaining concealed from consciousness most of the time. It’s a psychological axiom that our unconscious controls us. Hence the more conscious we become of our negative self talk, the more power we have to rein it in. Here are some suggestions to shine a spotlight on the critic to chase it out of hiding:

1. Sit quietly and notice your thoughts. You might hear yourself saying you can’t. You’re not good at it. Listen to that string of putdowns!

2. If you talk to yourself using “should,” “always,” or “never,” your critic is probably at work.

3. Make a list of all the things you don’t like about yourself in each area of your life. Complete the sentence, “I don’t like myself when I…”

4.Watch out for criticisms as they pop up during the day, and add to the list.

5. Look in the mirror and assess what features you like, those that are neutral, and those you dislike.

6. If you’re feeling bored, frustrated, down, or having other uncomfortable emotions, they may be a symptom of negative thinking. Trace back to what event preceded them, and what thoughts you had about it and about yourself.

7. Notice the voice of your critic – the tone, volume, and words. Do they remind you of someone who has spoken to you that way in the past? Young children easily emulate the words and tone of their parents and internalize those voices.

You can find 10 Steps for Disarming the Critic at www.DarleneLancer.com

©Copyright 2010 by Darlene Lancer, MFT. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Darlene and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Click here to contact Deborah and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

People who struggle with eating and food issues often also struggle with poor self-esteem. I say “poor” rather than “low” because I believe the concept of high and low self-esteem to be problematic. If low self- esteem means perceiving one’s self to be inferior to others, it follows that high self-esteem means perceiving one’s self to be superior to others. Healthy self-esteem is neither high nor low. It is defined by the lack of concern about one’s worth, coupled with a sense of competence and a belief in one’s innate value. When one is comfortable in one’s own skin and doesn’t worry about whether they are good enough, being neither better than nor worse than anyone else, that’s good, solid, healthy self-esteem.

Years ago, I worked for a foster care agency, where I taught classes to prospective foster parents. Out agency used an excellent curriculum called Model Approaches to Partnerships in Parenting (MAPP). MAPP was designed to help prospective foster parents understand the experience of children coming to live in their homes. One of the MAPP modules was on self-esteem. It explained that, in order for a child to develop a sense of healthy self-esteem, they have to be taught, by virtue of the way they are treated by parents and caregivers, that they are four things: loveable, capable, responsible and worthwhile. It’s not just about what children are told, it’s also about how they are treated, and what kinds of responsibilities they are given and when.

Getting three out of these four isn’t enough. It’s like a dining room table: all four legs are needed for it to work as designed. When parents aren’t able, whether because of their own experiences earlier in life that failed to enable them to develop healthy self-esteem, or by circumstances that interfere with their ability to parent well, to convey to their kids that they are these four things, children look outside themselves for indicators that they are good enough. They compare themselves to others using the criteria available: the grades they make, athletic abilities, physical appearance, popularity.

When eating problems develop, comparing one’s self to others intensifies. The act of comparing functions as an attempt to decrease feelings of insecurity and anxiety. The person who struggles with eating and food usually compares his/her body size and shape to others. A smaller body means relief and reassurance; and bigger body means anxiety and shame. The disordered eater judges him/herself harshly, to keep him or herself in line with food and exercise. This judgment erodes self-esteem even further, and perpetuates an unhealthy relationship with food and body.

The antidote is self-acceptance. This is bedrock. It means zero self-judgment, no self-criticism, no comparing to others, no using external criteria as indicators of worth or value. It means affirming that, “No matter what I do, think, feel, say, or look like, I deeply and completely accept myself.” It’s not about whether one is acceptable in the eyes of others. The active practice of accepting one’s self is healing.

Acceptance doesn’t mean liking or approving of something. It means not fighting reality. Not fighting the body one is living in today, or flagellating one’s self for eating or exercise behaviors, but simply acknowledging, without any judgment, what is. For it is axiomatic that nothing can change unless and until it is first accepted.

The idea of self-acceptance often raises concerns: “If I accept myself as I am, it’s condoning unhealthy behaviors.” “If I accept myself, I’ll never be motivated to change.” “I can’t accept my [body/behavior] because I find it repulsive. I have to improve it before I can accept it.” I’ve often said that I’ve never seen anyone whip or beat themselves into making positive changes. Practicing non-judgment of one’s self creates safe space, an arena in which there is no pressure to better one’s self, but instead an opportunity to heal.

©Copyright 2010 by Deborah Klinger, MA. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Deborah and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Click here to contact Arthur and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

There are a number of ways to think about Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy. One way is to consider what are the essential components of this evidence-based, effective, and empirically validated treatment, which was developed by Dr. Daniel Hughes. The following list is a listing of what are some of these essential components. Future articles will describe these elements in more detail.

Main Components of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy:

• Therapist use of self
• Process focused: It’s about connections not compliance
• PLACE & PACE
• Intersubjectivity
• Reflective Capacity
• Affective/Reflective dialogue
• Commitment
• Insightfulness
• Coherent narrative
• Co-regulation of emotions
• Co-creation of meanings
• Follow-lead-follow
• Interactive repair
• Nonverbal-verbal dialogue

The basic principles of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy may be summarized in the following four paragraphs.

1. Both the caregivers’ and therapists’ own attachment strategies are organized and resolved before the onset of the child’s treatment. Previous research (Tyrell et al. 1999; Dozier et al. 2001) has shown the importance of the caregivers and therapists state of mind with respect to attachment for the success of treatment.

2. The therapist and caregiver provide the intersubjective experiences for the child that were seldom present in situations of abuse and neglect. These intersubjective experiences are characterized by shared emotion (attunement), shared awareness and attention, and complementary intentions. Intersubjective experiences are the primary means by which the infant and young child learn about self, other, and the world (Trevarthen 2001). Intrafamilial and Complex trauma will significantly disrupt the development of concordant intersubjectivity and increase the risk that the child will be unable to create a coherent meaning for many events, particularly traumatic ones. The therapist must provide intersubjective experiences for the parent that help create a secure base within which the parent, child, and therapist can co-create new and more therapeutic meanings for experiences.

Whenever possible, the child’s primary caregiver (biological, adoptive, or foster parent or primary caregiver in a residential setting) is an active participant in the session. The therapist must provide to the caregiver support and guidance in communicating thoughts, emotions, and intentions to their child. The primary caregiver serves as the primary source of safety, security, and comfort while the child explores events, experiences, and emotions that may generate fear and shame. The caregiver’s presence allows the therapist to facilitate the successful exploration and resolution of behavior problems in the home by modeling for the parent PACE as an effective means of achieving conflict resolution and increasing emotional and behavioral regulation within the home. The therapist will generally only see a child, usually a teenager, as an individual client when a primary attachment figure is not available. In these instances, the treatment will proceed at a markedly slower pace since the child is essentially emotionally alone the rest of the week in the process of integrating the therapeutic themes. The lack of a primary attachment figure is a severe impediment to creating the security and safety necessary for exploration and integration.

3. Use of PACE and PLACE. These acronyms describe the ‘attitude’ of the therapist and caregiver. PACE refers to the therapist setting a healing pace to treatment by being playful, accepting, curious and empathic. Through PACE, the therapist is able to both generate and regulate, through empathy (and playfulness when appropriate), the emerging emotion that is associated with the events being explored. The therapist is also able to facilitate an open, reflective attitude to reorganize the experience of these events through the therapists accepting and curious stance. PLACE refers to the parent creating a healing environment by being playful, loving, accepting, curious and empathic. All interventions are utilized within the context of PACE along with the other principles presented in this chapter. Any technique may lead to dysregulation if these basic principles, which are needed to generate general safety, are ignored. These ideas are described in more detail in Becker-Weidman & Shell (2005), Becker-Weidman & Shell (2010), and Hughes (2006, 2007).

4. The inevitable misattunements and conflicts that arise in relationships are directly addressed and repaired through the ongoing qualities of the relationship using PACE. The creation of concordant intersubjectivity facilitates the co-creation of meaning and the co-regulation of emotions. The need for interactive repair is especially important as the themes being explored are often characterized by shame and fear. Repair helps with both affect and behavioral regulation, and directly addresses the child’s convictions that the child must face stressful events alone, or that any conflict will lead to abandonment. The attachment figures – parent and therapist – are responsible for the initiation of repair, not the child. These same principles apply to the therapist-caregiver relationship. Inevitable misattunements between therapist and parent are directly addressed and repaired thought the relationship. It is the therapist’s responsibility to initiate the repair, not the parent.

©Copyright 2010 by Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Arthur and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Click here to contact Jeffrey and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Communication is the lynchpin of relationships, including the relationship between our children and ourselves. If your child has been caught lying, it can be difficult not to react harshly as a parent. Lying causes most parents to worry “will my child always be a liar,” “was the truth so bad that he had to lie?” and other negative thoughts and feelings. As parents, we want open honest communication with our children. One lie that goes uncaught often turns into more lying. There are ways to stop a pattern of lying. Foremost why do children and teens lie to their parents and other adults?

If a toddler age child veers away from the truth, it is not typically a serious problem. Toddlers can often they can be redirected to tell the truth. Most toddlers “lie” because they are telling a story and embellish for more attention.

It is important to understand why your child is lying in order to change this pattern of behavior. Older children and teens will lie for self-serving reasons such as avoiding punishment and having to engage in extra work. They have done something wrong and in an effort to avoid an immediate consequence they will lie. They are encouraged to continue lying when they are not caught in their initial lies. They think that “I got away with that and avoided getting into trouble”, so they will lie again each time hoping that they will get away with their lie. This leads to larger and more elaborate lies and eventually being caught. Adolescents also lie to protect their privacy, and to save others from feeling bad. As teens grow, they seek out more independence and privacy; and will lie to protect it. They also have become old enough to understand that telling a lie can preserve another’s feelings. Socially we have all done this from time to time. Who has not told grandma that they love the fuzzy orange sweater she bought them for Christmas. This sort of socially acceptable “lie” is to spare another’s feelings and is not what we are discussing here.

Lying becomes a more serious problem when a child is telling stories to seek greater amounts of attention, it has become a more repetitive behavior that is easily fallen into, or your child is covering up another more dangerous problem.

When you discover that your child is not telling the truth, take time out to deliberate and think through your responses. Your response will either set the child up for another lie or encourage them to be more open and honest with you. Next, find out what the truth was, and why your child avoided it. Stay calm; an emotional reaction only makes your child fear the worst: a harsher punishment. Work to resolve that problem with your child. As you do this you can explain that the lie only makes it more difficult for you and your child to work together to solve a problem or deal with consequences of their actions. No matter how bad the truth is, by remaining open, calm, and listening to your child, it will set the stage for your child to be open and honest with you. Then you can both work together. If lying has become a repetitive problem, ask for help from your child, and work to focus on the issues that are causing your child to lie and resolve those issues. Maybe your child needs alternative ways to communicate with you. An example is writing in a journal back and forth to each other. Praise them often for telling the truth, especially when it is difficult for them, be open and forgiving.

Remember that children and teens watch the adults in their lives and by being a consistent role model, we can demonstrate to them that lying is not an acceptable way to handle difficult situations. Make sure to talk about honesty and truthfulness at a variety of random times, not just when your child is in trouble for lying. If lying continues, escalates, or maybe is masking a different problem, seek out the advice of a knowledgeable therapist or pediatrician.

©Copyright 2010 by Jeffrey S. Gallup, MA, LPC. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Jeffrey and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

One of the most powerful tools in the effort to help treat and support those with psychopathic tendencies and behaviors is to understand the root causes of such issues, a tool that has been investigated and refined in recent years. A major contribution to the evolution of this tool may be found in a recent study performed at Vanderbilt University which looked at the brain’s reward system in participants displaying various traits of psychopathy.

Traditionally, research on psychopathic behavior has focused upon popular ability to disregard fear and dread and to exhibit a poor or weak response to punishment or other common deterrents. Yet the Vanderbilt study looks at elements that may be driving certain behaviors, rather than elements that might fail to prevent them. The researchers administered a dose of amphetamine to participants, who were examined to assess various psychopathic traits. The participants were then given both a PET scan and an MRI scan to obtain imaging of their brains. Those participants exhibiting psychopathic traits had a much more significant reaction in their brains surrounding dopamine release with the drug, likely creating a more intense feeling of reward. Similarly, when psychopathic participants were given a task that they believed could earn them a cash reward, they showed a significantly stronger reaction in dopamine activity than other participants, suggesting that the drive to achieve the reward is especially heightened.

The research may help psychiatrists and other professionals better understand what may trigger some psychopathic behaviors, and how they may be addressed, as well. Through further research that focuses upon the root causes of mental concerns rather than suspected traits that fail to prevent their manifestation, the lives of many people affected by such issues may greatly improve.

As criticism has been rising over excessive diagnosis an potentially harmful and unnecessary treatments within the psychiatric field, many professionals are hoping that the publication of the new DSM-V, which is promising to remain open to community critique, will help address the issue. In particular, a group of psychiatrists from Australia are rallying support for the inclusion of “melancholia” in the new edition, a move they hope would allow for more particular and appropriate treatments for various types of depression, rather than a range of blanket treatments they suggest may be less effective. Critics point out that there is little to no biological evidence for the issue, tho others have show their support; whether the concern will make it into the DSM-V remains to be seen.

As issues of access to psychotherapeutic care become more pressing, many professionals and entrepreneurs are devising new ways to bring soothing treatments to potential clients, some of which are necessarily more effective than others. A major trend in alternative treatments has emerged in recent years as online psychotherapy, a practice recently denounced by a professional psychologist who insists that suggesting that such services are simply a “different type of psychotherapy” may be dangerous for clients. The psychologist calls for greater discussion and disclosure for types of care that are, in their essence, an alternative rather than a replacement.

Click here to contact Lynne and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

The weather’s slowly warming across the country, and along with snow melt and longer days comes that familiar family travel time known as Spring Vacation. And though they may not be, as Charles Dickens’s wrote, “the best of times, the worst of times” in your family’s lives, travels together as a group can be some of the happiest as well as most stressful times you have together as a family.

Time away from our regular routines is essential for good mental health. We do tend to thrive with a healthy balance of the familiar and the different, and vacations are one way many of us create difference in our lives. We can put away the same responsibilities, schedules, foods, sights, people, and weather for something different, a change that can make for a sense of escape as well as renewal upon our return. When we travel with our families, we get a chance to make shared memories and then recall them again and again in the future. Many of us remember the time spent in the back seat of our family station wagons going somewhere together as hallmarks of our childhood.

But like everything else with our families, traveling together as companions is a mixed blessing. While we can anticipate one another’s reactions and find pleasure in those shared experiences and understandings, we also make instantaneous assumptions, judgments and responses to each other that can zap the joy out of the newness of travel. In other words, it can be great and awful at the same time! (Recall the Clark Griswold’s of the 1983 movie, “Vacation,” and you’ll instantly know what I mean).

So, before you come unglued in your rush to close the house and get on that plane for that long-awaited winter escape, consider a few things that may make for a more relaxed, pleasant and renewing family trip. If you have some more ideas to share, be sure to add your comment at the bottom of this post.

1. Stay Within the Budget

Nothing can kill the joy of a family trip than spending more than you can afford. No one wants to be paying off credit card travel expenses 11 months after that dream visit to Disneyworld. Do all you can to stay inside your planned budget, making room for the spontaneous and unexpected, and you will have a much less stressful time while vacationing, and particularly, upon return.

2. Prepare to Travel

Don’t wait until the night before you leave to know if you have enough cash, if you have or need your passport, if your favorite shorts still fit, if the car needs an oil change, or if you have renewed your daily prescriptions at the pharmacy. None of us needs the emotional turmoil of last-minute, rushed packing. It can take all the pleasure out of the first part of your vacation, and can really stall your trip through airport security!

3. Lower your Expectations

No destination is going to be as great as the travel brochure, the website, or your dreams set you up to expect. Even Hawaii has problems. Lower your expectations of your perfect honeymoon or family trip, and instead, ready yourself to be pleasantly surprised and flexible. More fun will be had by all!

4. Manage your Job

Most successful employers know that we are better at our jobs when we can leave them for awhile. While it’s tempting to stay connected via email, texts, photos or even phone calls to work, unplug from the people at work and turn toward the people you’re with. After all, it’s your family that will stick around long after that job is over. And if you are self-employed like I am, make a plan to limit the contact you need to have with your business and stick to your plan.

5. We Bring Ourselves with Us

Your son isn’t automatically going to be well behaved just because he’s visiting grandma, and your spouse isn’t miraculously going to be easy going, generous and relaxed just because you’re in a different place. Remember that while your family is pretty much the same wherever they go, so are you. Cut everyone a little slack.

6. Staying with Extended Family

Nothing says “emotional overload” like traveling with your family and staying with even more. Be sure to treat the family you visit with respect, do your share of the extra work you create, and make time to get out from under their feet, and you will probably be invited back!

7. Returning

Some of us appreciate more time at home before the rush back to the normal begins. I know I need time to get some of the laundry done, to make sure there’s enough milk in the refrigerator, and to sort the mail before I go back to work. Others don’t need much re-entry time, eking out as much vacation time as possible. Know your preferences and honor them. That way coming home will be as pleasant as possible.

And in all journeying, safe travels!

©Copyright 2010 by Lynne Silva-Breen, MDiv, MA, LMFT. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Lynne and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Click here to contact Laurel and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

I spoke to a friend the other day who, like many others, has been hit hard by the economic downturn. In spite of health problems and the great difficulties he is undergoing, he so badly wanted to offer the work he does (in the field of healing), that he conducted a workshop and donated all of the proceeds to the institution that allowed him to use their facilities. So it surprised him when, upon turning in the donations and asking for some reimbursement for some copies he had to make for the workshop (a paltry amount), that he was then told about others who used the facilities who were able to give more, and about how much it cost to keep the building he’d used up and running, even as his receipt was micro-analyzed and questioned. Although the workshop went wonderfully well and he made a sizable amount of money for the organization, he left feeling confused, inadequate and ashamed.

He told me that at first he felt defensive, wanting to explain his own situation and to somehow get the administrator to understand his position. The bad feelings lingered for a long time before he realized that the person scrutinizing his receipt, although always speaking in a “nice” tone of voice, had, very nicely, shamed him. Once he really tuned into this shame and was able to feel how much he had wanted to give, and how difficult it was for him to ask for reimbursement, he was able to feel his own pain, and extend compassion to himself. After this, he was then able to give the institution the benefit of the doubt. As a non-profit, he was certain it was also struggling, and that the person who had dealt the blow (although in a voice that made it difficult to for him to notice what was actually going on), was just trying to protect his own job and livelihood.

When I asked my friend how he managed to connect with his shameful feelings and extend compassion to them, he told me that two things helped. First, he talked over the situation with a loving friend, who understood him. Next, he took a walk in the nearby woods, which helped him soothe himself. While out in the woods, he reconnected with his original intention–how much he wanted to help and extend his healing practice to others. He realized how much we are all in distress right now, and he was able to sympathize with all of those who were undergoing financial distress, including the non-profit. He also became much more clear about how to set up such events in the future, and to take no one’s generosity for granted. He realized that he had believed, since he was being more generous than he really could afford to be, that others would know this and extend generosity to him–but he hadn’t stated this need in a clear way to anyone.

The difficult economy is creating a lot of contraction and tightness in many people right now. Many of us are feeling especially vulnerable and fragile right now, and often it’s difficult to tune into how we are tightening up and defending ourselves. I missed a ferry by a few seconds the other day, and realized how much I wanted to blame someone for not extending those few moments of generosity to me, as I was on foot, and would not have delayed the boat by much more than 10 seconds. My anger rose in a flash, and I mumbled some invective under my breath. And then, remembering my breath, I turned to look out at the nearby water and seabirds, tuned into the sensations in my body, and finally calmed down and experienced compassion for myself. My tightness made me think I was entitled to the ferry ride. My rush had created a sense of disturbance and urgency. In fact, I had not originally expected to make that ferry, and it was only when it became close and possible that it became a problem. My contraction probably had to do with unexpected cancellations and some bad news I’d received earlier in the day.

I don’t want to gloss over the difficulties anyone is having, or say that it’s a bad thing that I or my friend, were contracted, felt defensive, or indulged in angry feelings. This is normal, and it will continue to happen for the rest of our lives. Sometimes we will find some soothing in nature, and sometimes the feelings will just have to run their course. What my friend discovered, however, was how his sense of shame fueled his defenses, and caused them to linger for awhile. It was so difficult for him to feel the pain underneath the shame, and the sense of inadequacy, he spent quite a lot of time bolstering his defenses. I did the same thing with the ferry ride. When I was able to let go of my story about how I needed to make the ferry, I was able to feel the pain of not getting the extra hour or so with my family that I had so briefly hoped for. When my friend let go of his defenses, he was able to go deeply into the pain of his illness and financial crisis. We were able to slow down, feel, and only then could the letting go happen. In both of our situations, connection with breath and nature helped us make that critical connection to ourselves.

We hear a lot of talk about having compassion for others. Until we can connect with our own breath, and with something soothing, such as a tree, a garden or some other part of the green world, and give ourselves the comfort and compassion we so urgently need right now, we won’t have it to give to others. Our ability to connect with our own pain depends on getting past our stories and defenses that are so often caused by a sense of shame or failure or loss. And contact with nature, I find, is one of the best ways to start to connect with my body and feelings underneath the blame stories.

©Copyright 2010 by Laurel Vogel, M.A. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Laurel and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Click here to contact Lynn and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

The magical age thirty scares people. Women especially start hearing their biological clocks ticking louder and louder, the alarm goes off, and they get frantic about establishing family and career.

Men sometimes feel this urgency too, and men and women both need to put down roots about this time, or they may never, instead floating though life, head in the clouds, feet off the ground, then find out when it’s very late in the game that they are alone in space.

Wendy was 28 year old, at a turning point in her life. Would she ever get married and have children? What kind of life would she have, who would love her, and who would she love? Her career hadn’t progressed as well as she had imagined, not with the bankrupt economy. She did have a boyfriend though, but was he the right one?

Wendy thought about breaking up with Peter – a really nice guy but not quite ready to make a commitment. He loved her, he said, but he needed to stay free so he could “make the best choices for himself.” They had been dating for several years. Was it wise to ditch him? They had put in a lot of time together, and a lot of loving too. Would she ever find anyone else? Anyone better?

And what did he mean by “the best choices for himself?” She wanted him to make good choices, of course, but why wasn’t she included? Why didn’t he say “the best choices for us?”

Peter was smart, attractive, with many good qualities, but scared to be close. And he still wasn’t that clear about what he wanted to do when he grew up, either. He was like Peter Pan. Remember Peter Pan and Wendy? Peter Pan never grows up, but his friend Wendy does.

Peter and Wendy didn’t come to therapy for relationship counseling – they could have, but they decided to try a trial break-up instead. Statistically such trials end up permanent – no relationship. Wendy decided to work individually with a therapist, and discovered that it wasn’t only Peter who was scared to be close, she was too. She needs to “show up and grow up.” Maybe Peter will find other ways to speed growing up, or maybe he’ll start therapy.

Lots of people need help negotiating the space between twenty and thirty something – the choices that you make at this time in your life can have permanent, life altering consequences, and you should make them with all the heart, soul and brain power that you can muster. A therapist can’t make these choices for you, but can help you find the best ways to make them.

People can be so afraid of making mistakes, making the wrong choice, that they don’t make any choices at all – which is still a choice, but of an inferior variety. It’s just a passive going along with the flow. Polling your friends to see what they would do, waiting to see what happens, wanting the decisions to be out of your hands – it’s just too scary to make up your mind, but it’s your life, and only you can decide.

Sometimes the smarter you think you are, the harder it is to decide, to know what’s right for you, to look inside your deepest self and go with what you find- those treasures can be deeply hidden.

Wendy and Peter are both decent, smart, good people, but they were raised by demanding parents who insisted that they perform to certain standards to be acceptable. Wendy mainly knew how to please others. Peter was scared of being trapped in a relationship with no room for himself.

They were both stuck in the fear of making a mistake, which kept them from finding and being their true selves.

How can you find your true self?

There are many roads – individual or group therapy, creative arts therapy – but they all include a connection with a skilled therapist who is able to help you negotiate the give and take empathy and honesty that is the bedrock of deep connections.

Sometimes I recommend books that illustrate what I’m trying to say lots better than I can say it. Want to know what it’s like to grow up? Recently, Rafael Yglesias wrote a book, called A Happy Marriage, about his life with his beloved wife. They married when they were young, and they brought each other up; then she died. The book shines with honesty, love and tenderness. Read it.

©Copyright 2010 by Lynn Somerstein, PhD, RYT. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Lynn and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Feeling down during the winter may be a fairly common experience, yet for many people, the experience is especially pronounced, seemingly uncontrollable, and potentially debilitating. Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is a major concern among much of the world’s population that lives in areas receiving low levels of sunlight during the winter, and clients facing this challenge have traditionally had to choose between psychotherapy and medications, both of which may be effective yet may also be difficult to access. The easy access and simple format of light therapy for the treatment of SADhas been celebrated, and has also recently been gaining support and popularity among professionals and clients alike.

Consisting of a portable unit, light therapy can help some people affected by SAD avoid the impact of low sunlight levels on neurochemistry, and may also receive a boost from the positive aspects of the light itself, even in as little as three days. Of course, some clients report that simply spending time outside during the day –whether to take a walk or engage in another activity– can have the same benefits. But in areas where sunlight may be especially low, or for those on extremely busy schedules, personal light units may prove invaluable.

Further research into the capabilities of light therapy, especially in combination with psychotherapy or medications, is bound to help reveal still more effective ways in which clients can treat and ultimately overcome the symptoms of SAD. As professionals continue to help clients work through feelings of depression, lethargy, and hopelessness during the grayer months, winter may find itself more often appreciated for its beauty and wonder –and its potential to bring happiness and comfort to those previously plagued by winter doldrums.

One of the early pioneers of the Human Potential Movement, and a colleague of Joseph Campbell and other psychology figures interested in myth, Paul Rebillot has recently died from complications with an earlier episode of respiratory failure. The man, who traveled globally to present his lectures on the Hero’s Journey and published several works both in the academic and mainstream spheres, had a pronounced impact upon the field of psychotherapy as well as drama, incorporating his extensive years of work in theatre to the practice of therapy and inner exploration. He will be missed among scores of professionals and students alike.