The GoofyGrub Blog

Visiting: Simplified

Mon, 3 Nov 2008 14:57:46 -0800

So many times I�??ve hesitated to suggest a visit with a friend because of the never-ending question of where to go and what to eat. As a result, I�??ve gone through dry spells in my social life, which, well, let�??s just say I don�??t enjoy that very much. I like my friends, and cherish their company!

Lately, I�??ve been trying something different.

Instead of planning to get together for lunch, etc., I�??ve been suggesting that we go for a walk. Turns out, it�??s an idea that�??s working really well! Lots of folks seem to enjoy the opportunity for a little exercise in all but the most inclement weather, and instead of adding calories we burn them!

A visit + ( �?? calories) = a great time!

Frequently, we stop en-route for a cup of coffee. This poses no food-related challenges for us, and if all either of us want is water, that�??s readily available, too. Added bonus: if my friend decides to have a biscotti, no sweat. Somehow, that�??s a simple enough food-event it doesn�??t demand my participation. (See Mirror, Mirror? for more.)

Why on earth didn�??t I think of this idea a long time ago? Sometimes the forest (the joy of time with friends) is so hard to see with all those pesky trees (stupid food issues) in the way.

And yet, now it seems so simple...

e <shaking her head at herself> a/

The �??Wonderful People (Weird Food)�?? Tribe

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 14:31:17 -0700

Seth Godin defines a �??tribe�?? as a �??group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea�?? (2008). Jon Morrow adds, �??Sometimes, you don�??t get to choose the tribes that you belong to. They choose you, and there�??s nothing you can do about it. I�??m a member of one of those tribes. It�??s called the Tribe of the Disabled�?? (2008).

You and I are members of the �??We Have to Eat Our Food Selectively�?? tribe. How did we get there? Well, unless we chose to become vegetarians, we probably had a health issue that put some limits on our choice of foods in order to regain and/or retain our health. In some cases, ours lives depend on it. Like Jon, above, we didn�??t choose this tribe, it chose us.

When people hear that I can�??t have anything with wheat, dairy, corn, or eggs in it, they give me a slightly glassy-eyed stare, and then ask, �??What�??s left?�?? Even my own doctor chortled at the thought of me surviving on �??ice chips and water!�?? The fact is, there is a lot of great food without those four ingredients: the trick is getting used to it and learning not to miss those four cornerstones of western diet. Shoot, I gained 30 pounds in two years of heavy studying without once touching any of those foods! (Not something I�??m proud of, but it does prove a point... Oh, and btw, I�??m down three, 27 more to go!)

For you, it may be sugar, or fats, or gluten, or peanuts, or fibre, or portions-too-many-and-too-large, or any number of other food items you �??should�?? be avoiding and/or controlling.

Instead of thinking of it in terms of what I can�??t eat, for whatever reason, I�??m learning to think of it in terms of what I *can* eat. It�??s much more positive, and makes conversations on the subject a lot less depressing. Instead, I like to think I�??m a member of the �??Wonderful People (Weird Food) Tribe.�??

Are you with me? Let�??s survive �?? no, let�??s *thrive* �?? together!

ea/

Godin, S. (2008). Tribes: We need you to lead us (Unabridged Audiobook). Audible, Inc. (Downloaded October 18, 2008, from the iTunes Store.) [Also available in text format at http://www.sethgodin.com/sg/books.asp]*

Morrow, J. (2008). Tribes you don�??t want to belong to. In Godin, S. (2008). The Tribes Casebook: A companion to Tribes. triiibes.com. (Downloaded October 16, 2008, from http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2008/10/free-tribes-ebo.html)*

*I receive no financial benefit from mentioning these resources.

Mirror, Mirror?

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 12:26:42 -0700

I�??ve long been intrigued, and a little dismayed, at the distress my refusal of food creates for other people. They mean very, very well when they encourage me to �??have one,�?? or ask me �??why are you eating that instead of this food?�?? and I feel sad about disappointing them.

Materials I�??ve read over the years on interpersonal communications tell me that people in conversation tend to mirror each others�?? actions, especially when the conversation is peaceful and the parties are in agreement.

Sure enough, when I�??m chatting happily with someone, can be a friend or a new acquaintance, at the dinner table, very often we both have our elbows on the table at the same time, we both lean backwards in our chair at nearly the same time, and when one of us leans forward, animated, the other responds with some kind of gesture as well.

On the other hand, when I�??m in disagreement with someone, we no longer match each other at all.

You can see this body language when you watch other people, say, at the food court, too. Just sit and watch for a few minutes. Who�??s on the same page? Who�??s ill at ease or in disagreement? You can�??t hear them, but you can see them. Fascinating!

I wonder if this non-verbal communication custom of matching body language extends to matching food behaviour? Is there a similar connection between the message of harmony that comes from mirroring body language and that of mirroring food intake in social situations? Could it be that by not eating one of the Tim Horton�??s (yummy! at least in my last-tasted-in-2001 memory of them...) doughnuts being passed around the room I�??m breaking the non-verbal peace-code of mirroring what the other people are doing, therefore creating a division them and me?

I�??m definitely going to have to reflect this some more. (What an interesting research project that could be!)

What do you think?

ea/

The Tie that Binds... or Breaks?

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 08:11:07 -0700

�??Food, not blood, is then the tie that binds�??
(Bakhtin, 1984, in Kifleysus, 2002:251).

gheidi (�??gheidi�?? is a username) suffers from celiac disease and cannot eat anything that contains gluten (e.g. wheat, barley, etc.) without becoming quite ill. Here is gheidi�??s story, as told by her on Christmas Day, 2007, on the http://www.glutenfreeforum.com [sic]:

I so understand what you are saying!!! My MIL has been living us for just about 14 weeks... (can't wait for her to get her own place) and she just doesn't get it. I had Christmas dinner and snacks all planned out.. and she went and ordered a bunch of stuff that I cannot even eat!!! and I have to figure out where to put it all!! She ordered some kind of meat wrapped in philo dough, a ton of pastries (looks way to dry to me anyway) cheese cackes.. scones, and I just don't remember what else!! But needless to say I didn't put any of her stuff out, and my husband supported me... because we had already planned what WE were serving at our house, and she just can't over rule us!! She even opend on of the boxes of pastries in front of me and offered me some, and I said no thank you it will make me sick, she rolled her eyes, and said "oh I am sorry" I think she is secretly trying to poison me hee hee... JK!! (gheidi, 2007)

On the one hand, she has a supporting husband who took her side against his own mother on Christmas Day. On the other hand, I think the tone of her message conveys distress at the challenge of meeting her own health needs and avoiding days of illness during the holidays, while at the same trying to preserve peace with her mother-in-law (�??MIL�??).

I wonder what is happening with gheidi�??s MIL? What messages is she conveying through her actions around the Christmas food? Does she have closely-held associations with certain foods that are symbolically important to her at Christmas? Does she really think that gheidi is making up her illness and symptoms? Perhaps scones are a way for her to feel �??at home�?? when she hasn�??t been �??home�?? in months. There are lots of possibilities, and they aren�??t all malicious. They may not even involve gheidi at all, even though to her they feel like an attack because of how important avoiding gluten is for gheidi�??s health.

I wonder how gheidi�??s husband feels in all of this? (Wow, tough spot, eh?)

I think I need to go and give my food-supporters an extra hug today. You know, they really are wonderful!

ea/

REFERENCES:

gheidi. (2007, December 25). Mom cooked wheat[Msg. 4]. Message posted to http://www.glutenfreeforum.com/index.php?showtopic=41651

Kifleyesus, A. (2002). �??Muslims and meals: The social and symbolic function of foods in changing socio-economic environments.�?? Africa72(2), 2002, 245-276. Retrieved January 20, 2007, from EBSCOHost.

Breaking the Rules

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 12:42:48 -0700

I guess I�??m learning that sometimes it�??s OK to stand up for myself, even if �??they�?? say I�??m breaking the rules.

On Friday night I was meeting people at a pub before heading out to a concert. Pub fare, while wonderful for many people, is impossible for me, so I brought along my own serving of homemade chili.

The hostess at the front door nearly had a heart attack.

�??You can�??t bring that in here!�?? she said. I think she was nearly panic-stricken, judging by the look of horror on her face.

I replied, as I continued to walk in, �??I�??m here to meet some friends who have already arrived. And yes, I can bring this in because you can�??t feed me.�??

�??No, you can�??t! It�??s against the health rules!�??

�??Well, lots of other restaurants have allowed me to bring my own food in.�?? I replied, still moving.

�??Why can�??t we feed you?�??

�??I can�??t eat anything with wheat, dairy, corn or eggs in it.�??

Silence.

Then, �??Let me talk to the chef and see what he says. What�??s the name of your party?�??

�??OK!�?? Then I gave her the name. She pointed them out, and disappeared. I sat down and joined in on the conversation.

She returned a minute later and said that if I get sick eating my own food I can�??t hold the restaurant liable. If I agree to that, then they will heat it up for me in the microwave.

Deal.

From there on, they did a lovely job! My food arrived hot, delivered with a big smile, and they even washed my container for me. The folks at my table were a little bewildered, at least the ones I hadn�??t met before, but I just shrugged and said something like, �??I have allergies, how nice to meet you, tell me about yourself...�??

Used to be that I wouldn�??t have even entered the pub after the first refusal, and I would have left, upset, not to mention hungry. Worse, I�??d be all alone outside, waiting for them to finish, and I wouldn�??t be enjoying the party!

Funny how I�??m learning to be a �??rule-breaker.�??

And it�??s OK.

ea/

Check, Check, and Then Check Again

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 22:45:57 -0700

The web is a wonderful resource that provides nearly-worldwide access to information. I love it! However, sometimes the information that is relevant in one place is not true in another, and it is a good idea to remember to check where information is coming from. Here�??s an example.

Lea & Perrins�?? website specifically states that their Worcestershire sauce is gluten-free (http://www.leaperrins.com/lea-perrins-faq.aspx). In fact, they repeat themselves �?? a technical error, I think, therefore amusing, but it makes it feel like they are trying to drive the point home.

The trouble is, that�??s true in the US, but not true in Canada. The Lea & Perrins Worcestershire sauce that is sold in Canada is not the same recipe as the one in the US.

The Canadian version of L&P�??s sauce lists �??Malt Vinegar (from barley)�?? as their number one ingredient. Barley is not considered a �??safe�?? food for people who are on a gluten-free diet (e.g. http://www.csaceliacs.org/gluten_grains.php#B).

I use L&P�??s Worcestershire sauce because I�??m not specifically on a gluten-free diet; however, it is a problem for others. I�??m really grateful to one reader who contacted me to point out that, while L&P�??s sauce is wheat-free, it is not gluten-free, and I realized I should make a comment about that in my Mac & �??Cheese�?? recipe. (Thankfully, I hadn�??t stated it was a �??gluten-free�?? recipe, just �??wheat-free,�?? but still... I�??ve now updated it to make this distinction clear.)

For Americans travelling to Canada, this is important information. If you are on a gluten-free diet, our Worcestershire sauce is NOT safe for you. Not realizing this could ruin your trip.

On the other hand, for Canadian folks who would like to use Worcestershire sauce but can�??t because you are on a gluten-free diet, the US version of this handy, yummy sauce might be OK for you! Nice to know the next time you pop south of the border for a little shopping... I can�??t speak to other factors, such as whether or not it is corn-free, but I will check the next time I�??m State-side, or if you know already please add a comment or drop me a line!

The moral of the story is: Check everything. And check again. Even my recipes and shopping suggestions. Check it all. Always.

ea/

It�??s Not Just About Weight Loss

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 08:28:25 -0700

If you have seen this blog (Your Weight Loss Will Help Me, Too!) about how my weight gain or loss has the potential to affect yours, especially if we are good friends, then perhaps you are already starting to figure out how this can affect food choices beyond just weight control.

If I suddenly have to go on a modified diet, say because I learn I have food allergies or because I discover my gut is a mess because I have celiac disease, how will my ability to stick to my new regime be affected by my friends? Or how will I, in turn, affect my friends�?? food choices?

I haven�??t spent half a million dollars testing my theory like Christakis and Fowler did for theirs, although I�??d love to! (Anyone out there willing to fund me?) But everyday life suggests this to me: that folks who have to eat differently than everyone else, whatever the reason, find it really, really hard to stick to it. Besides cravings, I think that the social isolation that results from not participating in one of the most primal forms of social interaction, that of eating communally, is one of the biggest and yet most invisible barriers to success.

Here�??s one example. How many people do you know who have been told to eat differently or risk becoming a diabetic? I know several. How many of those folks start out great, and after three or four months have noticeably lost weight and are starting to look terrific? They seem brighter, healthier, and more energetic, as well as trimmer. It�??s wonderful to see!

But another six months later, how are they doing? This isn�??t true for everyone, but it is for some: they look like they did nine months before. I ask them how it�??s going, feeling a little concerned. They say that they were doing great, but that it was so hard to keep it up, and they let it slip a little. They seem stressed. They seem defeated. They seem sad.

When I dig a little deeper, nearly always it�??s not the WHAT to do that defeated them. They were figuring that out and were doing great! It�??s the HOW to keep doing it while swimming against the social stream.

I struggle with that question nearly everyday, too, as I work to avoid the foods that make me sick. In fact, if my consequences weren�??t so closely connected, if I didn�??t find my heart pounding, my hands swelling, my cough reappearing, my overwhelming need to lie down and go to sleep after I eat something that is bad for me, I would choose to be part of the group feast, too. I want to eat pizza at the work-bee party, too <stomping of foot>! I don�??t like feeling left out! If I didn�??t have to �??pay�?? for that pizza slice so directly, if, instead, the effects didn�??t show up for a few weeks or months, well, why not have a piece �??just this one time?�??

So, what can we do to use our social network to help us? Maybe they can even help us improve our chances of success by 57%!

I�??ll take all the help I can get.

ea/

PS - One of my goals with GoofyGrub is that this site will eventually have enough information resources to help our friends know how to help us, and we them, too! Any thoughts?

Your Weight Loss Will Help Me, Too!

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 07:34:12 -0700

Check this out...

In 2007, two researchers, Christakis and Fowler, published an interesting, counter-intuitive study on the link between relationships and weight gain in the New England Journal of Medicine (2007, July 26). They reviewed data, collected over 32 years, from a social network of over 12,000 people.

What they found was that �??obesity appears to spread through social ties�?? (p. 370). OK, so non-athletic people like to hang with, um, non-athletic people? Well, it�??s not so simple.

In fact, if I gain weight, and you are my friend, you are 57% more likely to gain weight than if I didn�??t. Here�??s surprise number one: that effect works even if you are all the way across the country from me. Surprise number two: if you are my sister or my brother you will only be 40% likely to pack on the pounds. And surprise number three: if you are my spouse you will only be 37% more likely to gain weight if I gain it, even though we graze from the same kitchen, shop together, and eat the same meals.

Wow. Really? My weight gain will affect yours, all the way across the country? In fact, it spreads through groups of people like a virus? Zowie.

They even eliminated several influencing factors, one being the idea that clustering according to body size occurs because overweight people befriend other overweight people, and likewise with thin people. They did this by only looking at pre-existing relationships where both people started out at a normal weight, after which one of them gained extra pounds, and then looking at what happened to the other people in their network.

The exciting potential this brings to mind, then, is that if this effect works one way, maybe it will work the other! If I lose weight then maybe it will be easier for my friend to lose weight, too. Even better if the weight loss goes �??viral!�??

Cool! Two (or three or four!) for the price of one! (Woo hoo! A good virus!) Any friends want to help me out?

Can I help you, too?

ea/

NB - Dr. Christakis�?? comment in his video is that �??weight gain in my friend might increase my probability of gaining weight by 70%,�?? whereas in the published article he and Dr. Fowler state that the effect is to increase the likelihood of my gaining weight too by 57%. Either way, it�??s a lot!

Reference:
Christakis, N. A., & Fowler, J. H. (2007). The spread of obesity in a large social network over 32 years. The New England Journal of Medicine, 357(4), 370-379. Retrieved on May 26, 2008, from www.nejm.org.

Direct Link to Article:
http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/357/4/370

Direct Link to Video:
http://hms.harvard.edu/public/video/obesity.mov

More Resources: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry: The Spread of Obesity, Nicholas Christakis (1 hour, 10 mins)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX9ijcrNKqo

NB - All links created October 21, 2008. Hopefully they endure for as long as you need them to! Drop me a note if you run into trouble and I�??ll see what I can do.

Where's the Turkey?

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 12:20:55 -0700

Imagine this for a minute.

It was Christmas Day, and dinnertime in the Windsor family home was fast approaching. Tara was busy in the kitchen, the boys were playing hockey in the cul-de-sac, and Lawrence was entertaining the family guests: Pat, Tara�??s father, Sarah, Tara�??s mother, Ray, Lawrence�??s Dad, and Mary, Lawrence�??s mother, along with Debbie, Tara�??s younger sister. The tree was lit, the fire was roaring, and the candles on the decorated table were glowing.

Finally Tara called everyone to the table, and they scurried to their places, hungry. Tara disappeared to the kitchen, refusing help with the serving dishes, and returned with vegetables: broccoli, carrots, and beans. Her next trip to the table stopped everyone in mid-sentence for, instead of a steaming, brown turkey, she carried out a giant casserole of macaroni and cheese and placed it in the center of the table. After the first moment of surprise, everyone began to laugh, thinking it was a joke, but the laughter began to fade when the realization that no, there was going to be no turkey this Christmas, began to sink in.

Food has symbolic meaning. Not all food, of course. Sometimes oatmeal is just, well, oatmeal. Or is it? Oatmeal for a snack? No. Usually we think of oatmeal as breakfast. The start of the day... well, maybe for a health nut, at least!

Well, how about a cookie? Can�??t that just be a cookie? Well, for one person it�??s a treat. For another it�??s a snack. For a little girl whose big brother just got a cookie, getting a cookie too represents a right to equal treatment. For another, eating the cookie symbolizes a slip-up in the quest to lose weight. (Oops.) For the office worker on coffee break with the other �??girls,�?? not eating the cookie flags her as not part of the group, as stand-offish, as a food fanatic, or, worse, somehow better than the rest for exercising self-restraint.

Hmm...

I think I�??ll just go and start my day with a cup of coffee. Catch you later!

ea/

A Thorny Problem

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 21:19:56 -0700

I�??m not sure quite how to describe the combined shock and excitement I felt as the doctor explained his conclusions about the source of my health troubles. Excitement at the possibility that I could finally become healthy again; shock at the thought of no longer being able to put butter on my toast, or eat corn with my dinner.

I think if I had really understand the extent of the impact on my daily routines, my shock would have been closer to panic. It was so challenging that I would have given up a long, long time ago, except for one thing: it works.

Corn is in �??everything,�?? or so it seems. Dairy is just simply a staple of life, both necessary and luxurious. Wheat is not called the �??bread of life�?? for nothing. And now eggs, which were my go-to food, are off the list.

About six weeks in to my cold-turkey change of diet, after spending countless hours researching corn allergies, gluten-free diets, and dairy-free alternatives online and in books, I found myself immobilized in my kitchen, half-starved, unable to think. As I pondered the monumental question of which snack could I safely eat, the floor began to wobble beneath me, tilting more and more violently. Then the June sunshine started fading into darkness.

I was passing out.

And I was all alone.

Those twin realizations hit me like a thunderbolt, giving me a brief moment of clarity. Before the kitchen faded into blackness again, I found the sugar bowl. One spoonful. And then another. Some water. Then some more sugar, only I held it under my tongue this time so I could absorb it faster. Gradually the sun grew brighter again and the floor stopped pitching.

Wow.

That was scary. Worse, I could have been driving down the freeway, with my son in the car and no sugar bowls nearby.

<shudder>

I�??d been too busy obsessing about all the foods that were lost to me: popcorn, ice cream, macaroni and cheese, pizza, cereal, sandwiches, lasagne, scalloped potatoes, canned soups, hamburgers, chicken fingers, salad dressing, ketchup...

(I have some good news on all that - but I�??m saving it for another day!)

Now? I was going to have to get a whole lot better about finding good things I COULD eat.

But how?

ea/