Gospel Testimony

Hell Is Real, I Went There!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 5 May 2013 04:17:00 +0530

Jennifer Perez

God Bless you brothers and sisters, I'd like for you to open your bible and turn to Joel 2:28

"And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions."

My name is Jennifer Perez and I'm 15 years old. It's hard for a teenager like me to come to you and recognize my own mistakes. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, He will help me, and give me the strength I need. First of all I want to say that this is for the Honor and Glory of my Lord Jesus Christ. I don't want to say any doctrine or make up any new doctrine; I'm only going to tell you what I saw, what I heard, and what I felt.

I'd like to tell you a little bit about my family. My parents are Christians, and they always taught me good

examples, and the way of the Lord. I became a Christian 3 years ago, when I accepted the Lord with the brother Nicky Cruze. I walked in the ways of the Lord for 2 years. But when I started High School, I started getting rebellious and left the way of the Lord. I was rebellious to my parents and I got into drugs. My friends taught me to do those things.

I thought I was a Christian, and that I would bring my friends to be Christians. But instead, they brought me back out into the world. I was being rebellious to my parents, and they thought it was just something teenagers go through. But in fact, it was what the drugs made me do. Evil spirits got into me, that was when I was being rebellious to them. They were strict on me, they never let me go out anywhere, not even spend a night over at a friend's house. I always had to do everything sneaky or behind their back. I would skip school. I would hardly even go to school, just to keep my habit. I was at the point of getting addicted, but the Lord took me out of all that. Like I said, I was a Christian.

My testimony starts on May 2nd, 1997. I had a friend, and we were only friends, nothing more, and he knew that. I thought I had gotten to know him, but in fact, I didn't really know who he was. That night, he called me and asked if I could go out. My parents weren't home. They were at a prayer meeting, like every Friday. I told them I wanted to stay home because I felt sick. I was also mad at them because I had plans to go out that night with a different friend, but my parents didn't let me go. So I asked to stay home, and they let me. When they went to the Prayer meeting, my friend called me. He said, "Why don't you go out, everybody else is going out?" I thought to myself, "I don't want to be disobedient to my parents, but maybe if I sneak out, my parents would never know", so that's what I did.

That night when my parents got home, and they fell asleep. I was all ready to sneak out so I called my friend and told him to wait for me at the corner of my street. I told him not to pass by my house, because it might wake up my parents, and ruin everything. So I put pillows under my blanket and climbed out of my window. I live in a two story house, and all the windows of my house have screws in them. But since my parents trusted me, my window didn't have any screws. So I took advantage of my parents trust. Since I live in a two story house, I jumped off the roof and I landed on the ground. The Lord had everything planned, because I could have broken my leg, and that would have stopped everything the Lord had planned for me.

I walked down the street, and my friend was already there. But when I got in the car, I saw 3 guys and 1 other girl. I thought to myself, "I'm not going to do anything, yea, I'll get high, do drugs, drink". But when there are 3 guys and 1 other girl, I feared they could take advantage of me. But I got in the car, and we left. Before, when I was talking to my friend on the phone, he said that we were just going to go cruising around the town. I said "OK that sounds like fun", that's why I went. I never thought he was going to take me to a motel. That's where they took me.

When we got there, they dropped me off at a laundry service room, belonging to the motel. They told us to wait there; they said that they were going to pick up another friend. I said ok, but I guess they left to rent a room. When they came back and picked us up, they took us to that room. They said, "Don't worry, put your trust in us! We aren't going to do anything, we're just going to wait for our other friend to come, and then we'll all leave together". So I put trust in my friends, I thought they would never hurt me, but in fact I really didn't know who my friends were.

At first, we were just talking, so I said, "while we're waiting, why don't we get something to drink?" So my friend and I left the room, and walked to this little restaurant in front of the motel. We bought three Sprites and then walked back to the room. They started pouring the Sprite into cups. They didn't bring a bag or anything that looked suspicious, that would make me think they were going to put something in my drink, or do something to me. It all looked innocent.

I went to the restroom to fix my hair and do girl things, and when I came out my cup was already served. I put some gum in my mouth, strawberry, and I drank what I thought was my Sprite. After this, I don't know what happened.

But when I could see, I felt my spirit come out of my body. I was already at the hospital; I saw the doctors and nurses all around me. When I was out of my body, I saw my body on the bed. You know how you look at yourself in the mirror, you see a reflection. But I didn't see a reflection of myself, I saw my body there on the bed. When I turned around, there were 2 men dressed in red, "come our way" and they grabbed me, one at each arm.

They took me to a place, and when I looked to see where I was, it was heaven! The first thing that I saw was a great big wall. It was white and stretched out so far that it didn't have any end. In the middle of the wall was a door, a long door, but it was closed.

In the Old Testament, Moses speaks of the tabernacle and describes its features. And I remembered this, and I saw that the wall looked like it. Right beside the door, there was a large chair, and there was a smaller chair on the right side. And they looked like they were made out of gold. On my right side, there was a large black door, it was so dark around, but I knew it was a door because of the knob. It was an ugly door. But on my left side there was a paradise, there were trees, a crystal clear water fall, and grass. It was such a peaceful place, but there was nobody there.

I looked and I saw the Father in front of me, I couldn't see His face, because His glory, it was so big, so bright, it shined and lit up all heaven. His glory made everything bright. There was no sun, no moon, no stars, He was the light. I did see His body, and his body was with the Son, they were one inside each other, they were together, you could see the separation of them, but they were one inside the other, they were together.

Right beside them were 2 angels, Gabriel and Michael. The reason I knew their name was because it was written on their foreheads in Gold.

When I was in front of the Father, I felt dirty! I fell to my knees and cried. I was very ashamed of myself. Even if I could see their faces, I didn't want to, because I was ashamed of myself. As I was there in front of the Lord, He showed me a movie of my life, from the beginning until now. He told me that the most important part was the things that I did after I was saved. I told my friends I was a Christian, but in fact I didn't show my fruits. And He told me that I was destined to go to Hell.

The angel Gabriel came and grabbed me by my arm. He took me to that ugly black door that I didn't even want to look at. I tried to stop myself, but I was in spirit, and we went through the door. When I was on the other side of the door, it was dark all around, I couldn't even see myself. Then we started to fall really fast, like a roller coaster. As I was falling it was getting hotter and hotter. I closed my eyes; I didn't want to see where we were.

When we stopped, I opened my eyes, and I was standing on a great road. I didn't know where it leads to. But the first thing that I felt there was thirst. I was really thirsty! I kept telling the angel "I'm thirsty, I'm thirsty" But it was like he didn't even hear me. I started to cry, and when the tears ran down my cheeks, they completely evaporated. There was the smell of sulfur, like burning tires. I tried to cover my nose, but that made it even worse. All my 5 senses were very sensitive. When I tried to cover myself, I could smell the sulfur even more. Also, all those little hairs on my arms, they just disappeared. I felt all the heat, it was very hot.

When I started looking around, I saw people being tormented by demons. There was a lady there suffering, a demon was torturing her. This demon would cut off her head and with his long spear he would stab her everywhere. He didn't care. In her eyes, in here body, in her feet, in here hands, he didn't care. Then he would put her head back on her body and would stab her and stab her. She would cry with screams of agony.

Then I saw another demon, this demon was torturing a young man about the age of 21-23. This man had a chain around his neck, and was standing in front of a pit of fire. This demon would stab him everywhere with a long spear, in his eyes, everywhere. Then the demon would grab him by his hair and with the chains he would throw this man into this pit of fire, then take him back out and would stab him and stab him. This would go on continually, and every time he would go inside that pit, I couldn't hear his screams, but when the demon would take him out, he would scream with agony. I tried to cover my ears because the sound was so horrible, but I could still hear. My hearing was more sensitive.

I looked at another demon, and this demon was ugly, the other 2 were ugly to, but this one was the ugliest. He had characteristics of many different animals; I can't even explain it with words. He would go around and scare people, and the people would be really scared.

And then I saw another demon, but this demon was a beautiful demon, he looked like an angel of God, but he wasn't. The difference between the angels of God and the demons was that the demon did not have their name written on their forehead with Gold, but the angels of God did.

After that, I looked back at the angel Gabriel, and he was looking up. I thought he didn't want to see the others being tortured. I thought to myself, "why is he still here? Aren't I suppose to be there waiting for my turn to be tortured?" I was also thirsty. And I cried out to the angel, "I'm thirsty I'm thirsty," I think he heard me because he looked down on me; and he said, "the Lord is going to give you one more chance."

Immediately when he said that, all my thirst, all my agony, all my hurting, it just went away. I felt peaceful. And then he grabbed me by my hand and we were about to rise, but suddenly I heard my name being called, "Jennifer, Help me, Help me!" I looked down. I wanted to see who it was, but when I did the flames blocked their face. It sounded like a girl's voice. I could only see her hands stretched out, wanted me to help her. I had such a desire, such a want to help her. When I tried, I couldn't, because my hand went right through hers. I wanted to help her so much, but you see, she didn't have any hope. I couldn't help her.

And then I looked around and I saw my friends, people that I knew, and other people. They looked familiar but I didn't know who they were. I didn't know their lives, but when I saw friends from my school there, it hurt me!. I thought to myself, "maybe the bad testimony that I was giving them, of saying that I was a Christian but turning back, made them not want to know about God, and turn away from Him. Maybe it was me that brought them their". That's what I thought. I saw that in Hell there is no time, there is no past, present, future, everything is the same, and they are destined to go there. But like I said in the beginning, I don't want to make up any doctrine, but that is what I saw their. The people that I saw there are still alive today.

Then the angel took me back into the presence of God. When I was standing before Him I was on my knees crying and crying. I still didn't want to look upon His face, because I was ashamed of myself. But the Lord, with such sweetness in His voice said, "I love you." His love is just like He loves you who are listening to me. But He told it directly to me. He said He forgave me for everything that I have done when I offended Him. He forgave me.

God looked at me and He showed me many things. He showed me the world, the earth. Around the earth I saw something soft, like the ozone layer, it was around the world, it looked very soft, and I had such a desire to touch it. When I touched it, I realized it was the Holy Spirit, because it baptized me, and I began to speak in other tongues.

During that time, I looked up and many evil spirits came out of me. When I would get high and do drugs, that would mess with my mind and would open doors, and these evil spirits would come into me. They would torture me. The way that I would act was not really me, it was the evil spirits inside of me. In the Word of God it says that when your house is cleaned, evil spirits would try to come back by bringing 7 other evil spirits. My house was cleaned when I got saved. And I saw these evil spirits when I was being baptized, they have 7, and those have other 7, and those had other 7, and I couldn't even count them all! But the Lord cleaned me of all those evil spirits.

He also showed me the future. He showed me the Earth and how things were going to happen, events that were going to happen. The vision I was given was from now until rapture. He didn't show me the rapture, but He showed me the things that were going to happen before that. Each day we are getting closer and closer, and I'm telling you that the rapture is near! You need to examine yourself, your life, and ask yourself, "am I ready to go with the Lord?" The Lord showed me this, but He told me not to tell anybody, but to wait and see that the end is near, I don't want to tempt God, that is why I won't tell you what I saw. But I am telling you and warning you that the rapture is near.

I read in Joel 2:28, it is one of the last prophecies; all of them have been fulfilled. This prophecy is the only one that hasn't been fulfilled, and I tell you now that is it being fulfilled. Many young people are rising up and preaching the Word of God. The devil wants to make an army of young people, but the Lord is more powerful. And if you really accept the Lord and want to serve Him, He will give you the strength to overcome the devil, so you can preach the word all around the world, just like He commanded in the Bible.

He told me that I had a mission, and this mission was to tell all the young people about my vision. Even if I don't want to do this, it's a commandment that the Lord gave me, and I will complete it.

When I went back to my body, I woke up and found myself in the Hospital. I looked around and saw needles in my arms, things checking my heart, tubes. Soon my parents walked in and I started crying. They looked very mad, but the Lord told me to tell them everything, and that's what I did. I told them everything.

When the nurse walked in, she told us they were very worried about me. She said I would leave and then come back, then leave and come back. I'd be unconscious then conscious again. This happened three times. They said that one of those times, I didn't want to come back, and they were worried about me. They also said that foam would come out of my mouth, and I would blabber words that they didn't even understand.

Also that night, my mom was having bad dreams. The little dog that I sleep with went into my parent's room and scratched my mom's arm and tried to wake her up. When she woke up, she walked to my room and saw the pillows fixed there. She thought that I was there so she walked back to her room. Then she saw police lights outside the window. When she looked out the window, she saw policemen walking to our house so she woke up my Father. The police told them to call the police department to find out about me. My parents found out that I was over intoxicated in the Hospital. At that moment, the Lord spoke to my father and told him not to worry, because everything was in HIS hands, so my father didn't worry. I spent three days in the hospital.

A week later we talked to the detectives, and they told us about that night. They said that the other girl I was with, she was not supposed to go out either, and her father got all worried. He went looking for her, driving around, but couldn't find her. So he went to the police department, and the police announced the kind of car that my friend was driving to all the patrol cars. A certain off duty officer, was across the street at a car dealership. He was looking to buy a used car. He glanced over and saw the car of my friend, so he called the police.

When the police went to investigate, my friend's car was parked in another spot, so they didn't know where she was. We were on the 2nd floor in the corner room. The police wanted to start from that room, and walk down to check each room, asking for the owner of the car outside. They weren't looking for the girl; they were just looking for the owner.

When they knocked on our door, they opened the door and saw me on the floor. But then they left. My so called friends thought that the police left for good, but in fact they left to get an ambulance. Soon other police came up there to see what was happening. When they opened the door, at that moment, my friend, the one I was talking to, the one I trusted, he was at the point of raping me. But the Lord used the police to stop all that, and they didn't do anything to me. That is why I thank the Lord, because He had mercy on me.

And also the prayers of my parents, I'm talking to you parents. Don't ever stop praying for your child. If they aren't walking with the Lord, keep on praying for them, never give up. My parents never game up, and look where I am now, preaching the Word of God; telling young people to come serve God, because they need Him.

And I want to give a message to all the young people, I want you to think of yourself, examine yourself. Think, why should I care what anyone says about me. I used to think what other people might say about me, but now I understand that they don't even care about me. They are not going to be there when the Lord is right in front of me. I remember when I was in front of the Lord, my friend weren't there to help me, my family wasn't there to help me, my pastor, the church wasn't there to help me. I was there by myself, and I had to defend myself. In front of Him you can't lie, because He is so holy. And when I was there I didn't feel like I belong there, because I was in sin and in Heaven it is holy.

I told you today that if you haven't accepted the Lord Jesus, to accept Him today. This is the most important decision in your whole life. I'm not telling you all this to scare you into Heaven, but so you can see the mercy, the love that He has for us. He the Father, sent His Son to die for us. So each little drop of blood that was shed would forgive all of our sins. If you want to accept the Lord, it is the most important decision in your life. Come to the Lord, don't care what anybody else says about you.

If you want to server the Lord, then do it with all your heart, don't just say it with your mouth, say it with your heart and mind. Don't worry about the future, worry about today, you never know when you are going to die. I'm only 15 years old and in my mind I never thought that I was going to die at 15, never.

But you need to think about that. My life isn't mine, your life isn't yours, we are borrowing our lives, our lives belong to God. We take advantage of this by not caring, by going into the world, by doing the things of the world. The world has many things to offer, but remember God has even more things to offer. The world has hell and death, but God has eternal life. Eternal life is forever.

Right now if you want to accept the lord, I want you to bow your head and close your eyes, "Lord God, in the name of Jesus I come to You, O my Lord God at this moment I want to accept You as my Savior, I want You to come to my life. Like the sister said about her testimony that Hell is real, she was there. Lord God, I don't want to go there, I don't even want to think of going there. Lord God I ask You to forgive me for all the sins I have committed. Forgive me for everything that I have done. Every little secret sin, my Lord God, I reveal them to You, so please forgive me for all that. Lord God I believe that You died on the cross and that Your rose from the dead. I believe that You will come into my heart and that You will reign in my heart, and be in my heart. I will read Your word, and I will be more in the Word. I'll go to Church, my Lord God because I know that You are there at Church. You said that when two or three are gathered together, You are there. My Lord God I want to be where You are. I pray all this in Jesus name, Amen"

If you prayed this prayer, I want to welcome you into the Kingdom of Heaven. Now you have brothers and sisters all around the world. This is the most important decision that you will ever make so don't take advantage of it. Don't go back into the world. The world leads to death, but God leads to eternal life. At each moment you need to live like it is the last day, and the last time of your life. If this testimony has touched your heart, give it to a friend, so that they might also accept God into their heart. Don't let this time just pass by, because this could be your last time.

Hell is real, I went there!

by Jennifer Perez

Late Y.S. Jayamma

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 19:58:00 +0530

Late Y.S. Jayamma

Smt. Jayamma was the only surviving child of her mother. She lost her father at an early age. Though she lost her earthly father, the Heavenly father led them to a devout Christian Sri Y.S. Venkat Reddy, the first person who accepted Jesus Christ in that village and a cousin of her mother. He was the first one who put the seed of God into her little heart.

Her childhood was spent with Rev. and Mrs. Y. Satya Joseph family. This couple completely dedicated themselves to Jesus and went to Papua Islands on His calling to spread the word of God among the illiterate islanders and died there. He stayed in London Mission School compound where Smt. Jayamma did her primary education and she also stayed in the school compound with her mother.

They looked after them very well during their time of need and grief. It is God’s plan that Smt. Jayamma should grow under their care. There she was attracted towards Christ because of their love and care.

Since then she started her journey with Christ and never looked back. She did not know any other God except Christ. She was very loyal to Jesus Christ from the beginning to the end.

She can join the voice with Paul “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept my faith” (2 Timothy 4:7).

Read More - Click Here

Dr.Saini Raj Kundapati

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 19:42:00 +0530

Dr. Saini Raj Kundapati

I came to God in 2001 because of some situations I had, but I was not able to continue because of not having right person in my life to guide me to grow spiritually. Anyway I could understand something about God. I was also scared of Him that He will punish me if I do something wrong. It is not in anyway a genuine personal relationship with Him. In December 2009 I moved from NY to Chicago, where I met a nice spiritual couple called Azariah and Sasikala. It is a pastor’s family. On the 29th of December 2009 they visited us. They counseled me regarding my spiritual relationship with God and explained me how I can have such relationship with God. Then I was convicted that I didn’t have personal relationship with the Lord. Then Pastor Azariah led me to confess my sins and then prayed for me. They have been helping me to know more to grow spiritually. My life has been completely changed. Now I don’t see God as just God anymore, but I see Him as my Father also.

Since January 2010 I have been looking for a part time job before I can get into residency, and I have been sending my resume to different hospitals and clinics but no one had called me for an interview. Meanwhile as a new believer, I have been growing spiritually experiencing intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father and at the same time I have also been praying for residency (specialization in medicine ) for which the selections would be finalized in march and I hadn’t gotten anywhere. My faith was strong and I knew in my heart that my Father wouldn’t leave me as an orphan but would surely help me and show me a way.

God gave me peace and joy and nothing seemed bad for me. Actually I was the person who used to think about the future in advance and plan things accordingly. I was always used to become tense and worried and also make my parents worried too along with me. Now I am completely different staying peaceful because I know my Father who is greater than any thing I am facing now or going to face in future.

As I was being peaceful and praying one day I received an e-mail from a research company on 23rd of March asking if I can come for interview for the job of Research Assistant. They told me on the 31st of March that some doctor, whom I don’t know, sent them my resume. I wasn’t sure whether to go or not but prayed about it, and I finally went for the interview. Four persons interviewed me and they asked me one question; “Do you think you are the right person for this job.” The day before the interview I read Paul’s words in the Bible that we shouldn’t boast about ourselves. At that time these words came up to my mind and so I answered them, “if you ask me whether I can do what I need to do in my job I will say ‘Yes’, but if you ask me whether I am the right person for the job I can’t answer with ‘yes’ as I don’t like to boast about myself.” I continued saying, “instead of all that, I like if my co-worker, who has seen my potential, says Saini is good at work”. In general I was a type of shy and scary person and usually get anxiety attacks before public, but that day I was bolder than ever before. I could talk boldly only because of the grace of our God who is my strength. I rejoiced in the Lord as I came outside for doing what pleases my Father.

Two days later I told my neighbor about this. He, who enquired from his primary care physician, later suggested that it will be good to accept this research job if I get it and told me that I should call and also e-mail them with a motive to show them that I am interested in their job. The next day I withdrew writing email which I began, as I became restless and I felt that I shouldn’t write it. I again started applying for more jobs at least 3-4 a day. And the days going by while I was spending more time with God, who has been talking to me through His Word and helping me to fix myself in the things that God do not like in me and which are against Him such as pride. This way I was growing as a new person in Christ.

My sister called me on the 26th April, Monday, and told me that I and my brother should go to India to celebrate my dad’s 60th birthday on the 8th of May as she was arranging a big party with all my relatives in India, and also with my mom and dad who went to India to take care of some family things and stayed there. I replied to her that I should need to pray before I let her know. Meanwhile I and my brother started looking for tickets for the 4th and 5th of May.

The next morning, on the 27th of April, I woke up with so many thoughts in my mind that I would go to India and preach Christ to the near and dear and also talk about God in the party. But the thoughts were so many that I wasn’t able to take them all and so I asked God to take them away as I had no peace in all of them and they gave me nothing but pressure. Then I went to gym and came back and took a shower and prayed to God. Then God spoke to me that I should not go to India. Then I realized how Satan can use the things we like in God only sometimes to get us away from God’s plan. I told my brother about God’s direction in not going to India. And now I was thinking how I can tell my sister about this. That day I was watching Joyce Meyer’s sermon online in which she mentioned that When we say ‘Yes’ to God and we have to say ‘no’ to our family, friends and anyone in some situations. I thought that the Word is for me and I called my sister and told her that we won’t be coming to India for now; but if God reveals something else we will let her know.

The next day on the 28th of April, Wednesday, for some reason I thought that I should wash my dress shirts and so I did accordingly, and while doing laundry I was asking God ‘why you are making me wash my clothes; are you giving me a job’, and laughed at myself .

Days passing by and on the 4th of May, Tuesday, I received an e-mail from the people who interviewed me asking if I could give them a call. Then I called them and it went to voice mail, but they called me back in an hour, around 10 a.m. asking me that my references are not answering their phones and asked me if I could give a new reference or ask my old ones if they could give them a call. So I called my cousin whose name I gave as a reference and explained the situation. So, she called them and in 30 min. she called me back saying that they had given me the job. It is paid research work and they also contacted my new reference my spiritual father Pastor Azariah, who responded to them giving the report of my spiritual life. But they hadn’t contacted me till 2:30 pm and asked me if I could go in there that day or the next day morning to sign the back ground check papers. I replied that I would go tomorrow as I was not sure if it was God’s will and as the delay would provide me the needed time to pray. Then I called my spiritual father asked them to pray about it and I also started praying and asking God “Lord if it is your will I have to feel your presence You have to go with me and when I talk to those people I should have a huge laugh on my face and I should be happy.

The next day, on the 5th May, Wednesday, while I was driving to the work place I felt so much God’s presence and I was almost crying and was asking God why He loves me that much and again asked ‘God are you loving me as much as you loved Enoch’. Then I called my spiritual father, and he prayed for me. That time I turned on Christian radio. Amazing! My favorite song “who am I “was on the radio, and then God also reminded me of the reason why He told me not to go to India. Actually that was the day we were supposed to leave for India as planned.

By now I reached the work place. My director asked me to tell her before I signed the papers why hadn’t I contacted them to express my interest if I was interested in it. I replied to her that I wanted to e-mail them earlier but God said ‘no', and so I hadn’t contacted them. (See! if I had sent them e-mails earlier she might not have asked me this question and I would not have witnessed to her about God’s hand in this. Thus, above all, God’s name was glorified with this answer). Then I asked her if I could talk to her about God and she replied o. k. Then I told her that I didn’t just ask God for the job, but I asked Him to give me the job wherever He likes me to work, and I know that she would call me if it is my Father’s will. And then she gave me the paper for the background check and asked me to sign on it. While I was doing, she explained me how much I get paid hourly and also said how much I get paid even for mileage, and if I need to travel by flight they will pay for the flight and hotel. Astonishingly, they are paying more than what residency pays. Another thing is that I can make my own schedule for the job. I became very happy at the information and thanked God. After signing she told me that she would call me on the following Monday, i.e. the 10th of May if once they receive the results of the background check. I started telling all that I got job, but Satan started inducing doubts in my mind saying what if my background check comes bad and I won’t get the job and thereby I would feel ashamed. Then I felt my Heavenly Father’s presence strongly, and I could understand that it would be fine as it is His will. So, I started telling more people and on the following Sunday I shared donuts to our Bible study class at the church telling them how I got the job. I told more people in our church and invited them to come to our next week’s Bible study, so that I could share the testimony to them.

On Monday the 10th of May the director hadn’t called me till 11 a. m and so I began getting little worried about it. Then I prayed to God, and at 12:15 p.m. the director called me and told me that she had just received the background check and asked me if I could go in. I went to the office and the director brought me contract papers and I could see the ending date of the contract as June 30, 2011, and actually the general residency for the next year starts on July 1st of 2011. I marveled at the way God did this in a planned way, and then I said to God how He is not giving me even a day off after I finish my research work as I shall start residency the very next day, and then laughed within myself. The whole week (May 10th to May 14th) I was getting my certifications done. They said that it took for my director and her assistant three weeks to finish these certifications, but I could do all of them by Thursday in the same week. It is really God’s grace. During that week God showed me different e-mails and resumes of those who applied for this job. Some are more qualified than me and some e-mailed them every week expressing their interest in the job, and moreover two of the directors were more favorable towards some other candidates but my name was never mentioned in those selective candidates. How great our God is! Thus I realized how our God can do great things. When God is on our side it doesn’t matter, nothing or no one stands against us, and God will take us to the higher places against all hurdles. Now God gave me this job, and I know He will give my residency too in 2011. He is my heavenly Father and He is more concerned about my future in the way our earthly parents do.

I applied for a few hundreds of jobs but God took me only to one interview and gave me that job. Probably He doesn’t want me to feel ashamed because of going to many interviews without being selected. He knows even my sensitive nature and my psychological weaknesses, and probably He does things accordingly because He is my Loving Father. He also feels pain when His children are going through temptations or hurdles. Sometimes they are needed in our lives to grow or to face something even greater than them, but He gave us the promise that says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

If anyone of you are an unbeliever and are still living with the world, I like to say something now. When He first made our great grand parents Adam and Eve, He took time to (Almighty God took time to make us) make them with His own hands in His own image, and that’s how much He loves us! In return God expects from us only one thing; it is obedience.

In Genesis 6: 6 it says “The Lord was grieved that he made man on the earth and His heart was filled with pain” – It is because of our wickedness and evil that filled our hearts.

I can suggest only one thing; whoever may be reading this “please accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior in to your heart and become obedient to Him and then see what amazing, impossible, unreasonable and great things He will do in your life”.

Dr. Saini Raj Kundapati

E-mail : sainirajk@yahoo.com

Cell : 917-432-4249

Naveen's Letter To His Parents

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 19:33:00 +0530

August 01, 1994

Dearest Amma & Appa,

I know it has been a while since I have written to you. Have received both of your letters. Please forgive me for this procrastination and I have been really busy this summer as I have taken three courses and have so far completed about two of them with the top grade. How are you? How are you doing healthwise? It rends my heart into many pieces to see that our relationship is not the same as before. I do realize that this is on account of my conversion to Christianity. I am being sincerely honest with you. I have done some serious ‘soul searching’ and this is the Truth that I end up with always. I have always been in search of the True Living God, the One who created us, the One who sustains us and the One who gives a purpose and a meaning to the life we live in this mundane world.

You taught me and raised me in the best way you knew how and I am eternally grateful to you. For the love you showered upon me and I thank the Lord for that. You nurtured me in a culture in which you were brought up and bred in me the traditions you learnt and conditioned me with religious rituals and imparted to me that only an education would add dignity and honor to one’s life. I think you are the most wonderful people in my life and I love you guys. For the sacrifices you made to accommodate happiness and joy in my life.

In my pursuit of the Truth for the living God, I did become ritualistic and did worship idols in the temple out of fear and reverence. Still there existed an emptiness in my life as I sought to fulfill my heart’s desire by joining the Yogoda Satsanga Society with Sunil so that there would be joy, hope and peace. Trying to seek God through a teacher who was dead way before I came to be in this world did not certainly fit the bill. I tried transcendental meditation coupled with yogic exercises and it only increased my impoverished (heart) existence to being a void. I could see flashes of light but nothing really happened to fulfill that emptiness in my life. I certainly recognize that one needs to be blessed with material things of this world (like a good house, car, job etc.,) but when they become a goal (god) in themselves, you are back to square one, once you achieve them. In this capitalistic and materialistic world even this increases your misery, as guilt permeates your conscience (soul) when certain things are not accomplished in an upright manner. When everything else failed, I started going to church not to become a Christian, even though at that point of time I certainly was against their narrow minded view of things. Church to me was just another place to seek and worship God whom I wanted to know. It did not certainly bind me in any way or was any restrictions imposed upon me. As long as decorum was maintained, it was just like a temple, a place for meditation upon God. The people in the church and especially in my Sunday School class started to witness to me their faith in Jesus Christ.

In the beginning, I just listened to what they had to say, but my mind was certainly made up to stand firm to my beliefs. As time progressed, I became very defensive and virtually was cynical about their conservative view of God. I shared with them that there existed a world far superior with people of different religions and cultures. As I adhered and persevered with the beliefs I had, they asked me to share my beliefs and pointed out inconsistencies. I pointed out as long as I did good works and did not hurt anyone intentionally and as long as I was happy, for a loving God would want me to be happy, I would be fine. They shared with me that God wanted me to be more than happy and that He wanted me to be His child and to be in His presence forever. This troubled me since in Hinduism, a person’s life is governed by one’s karma.

Since there is (virtually) no concept of sin in our Hindu beliefs, a person seeking forgiveness or even atonement is a far cry for we do not see ourselves as sinners before a Holy God. For when you sin, you incur the wrath of God and that is not a pretty place for one to be in. Having lived in such a philosophy for over 25 years, it becomes scary when one is confronted with sin in one’s life. This is what the Bible proclaimed and it was their stance. For when I was presented with a Bible since I had no intention of buying one, I did not start reading it since I did not feel a need for it.

I started praying earnestly and always (mouthed) said the same words “God if You exist, if you are real, reveal Yourself to me” for my faith always rested on a God who was Supreme. I felt a nudge in my heart to start reading the Bible. Instead of dismissing it, I picked up the Bible and started to read from the beginning. It was interesting since it was like a well written story and probably read about 300 pages before I gave it up since I was burdened with my studies. When summer approached I was without funds, had no means of support and was left in the lurch to fend for myself.

I started diligently to read and understand the Bible in a totally new light as God started to reveal Himself to me. Even as I read it in part but on a continual basis, I came to grips with my Hindu beliefs. I asked God “How could this be? If what You are saying in the Bible is true, then why did I live a lie all these years?” I never got an answer as I struggled with my beliefs over the next few months. This was not just a fight with my mind-set beliefs and it became a quest for survival. The truths I began to decipher were shattering and were in conflict with what I had believed. I was hardpressed not knowing whether I was in the right path or not. I could not comprehend the severity of the situation I was in. Was what I had trusted for years not true? If so, why? How can over 750 million (Hindu) people in India alone be in error, strayed away from God’s Truth? No answers were forthcoming! But the Gracious Lord opened my heart to show me His Truth as He made me understand that I have sinned against Him and Him only.

The presence of sin in a human’s life does not (necessarily) make one evil. People can still be good (morally) and yet sin against God. Sin is being disobedient to God and hence one needs to seek His forgiveness. Emancipation from sin is only through His forgiveness. Being Just, God is justified to send each one of us to hell, forever banished from His Presence. It just takes ‘1’ sin for one to be a sinner. But God who is so full of love does not want us to perish but wants us to fellowship with Him. In aspiring to know God and to know Him personally, there needs to exists a desire. For those who loved God, He did not leave them in the lurch.

One needs to understand that we are separated from God because of sin in our lives. And sin needs to be punished by God, if He is a just God. The wages of sin is death, the Bible says. The worst part being “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” This ofcourse was the most difficult aspect for me to hold on to. The word ‘All’ seemed a ‘misnomer’ and yet is the truth since I look back at the life I have lived, I have been disobedient not only to you but to Him and thus sinned against the Holy God. Remember it just takes one sin for a human to be a sinner. Another fact that was revealed was ‘every human is made in the likeness of God.’ This does not mean that God looks like a human being but we are created morally and spiritually in His image, for God is Spirit. We were created for His glory, for fellowship with Him. By sinning, we have fallen out of that fellowship.

Then as these issues began to press on me, I wondered why not God, Who is merciful, Who loves us so much just say ‘you are forgiven’ and restore that fellowship. As I reflect on His Word, if He just forgave us our sins by being merciful, He would not be just. For God to be just as well as merciful, someone had to pay the price. Since none was found worthy, God had to look within Himself, to send forth the Lamb who would take upon Himself the sins of the world and offered as a Sacrifice so as to penalize the sinfulness of mankind. That Lamb is Jesus Christ.

Jesus born of a virgin, Mary, by the power of the Holy Spirit came to be and He committed no sin for He is (both) God as well as Man. He is the Son of God who willingly came forward and became sin for us. He paid the ultimate price of death - which was the wages of sin and the Ultimate Sacrifice on the cross at Calvary for the sins of the world. He did this to enable those who believed ‘ON’ His Name to have eternal life and thereby restore that fellowship. Jesus died on the cross, Crucified, abandoned and forsaken by God the Father, for God could not look upon sin. Jesus was buried and God raised Him on the third day to establish His everlasting victory over death. He opened the doors for all those who believed, sought His forgiveness and He gave them the right to become the children of the living God. Those who accept Jesus into their hearts and lives as Lord, Master, Savior and Redeemer, they were given the gift of the Holy Spirit and eternal salvation of God is bestowed upon them.

I cannot comprehend why God loves me so much as He loves each and every one of us, but I’m glad He does. I accept it by faith for even faith is given to me to believe in Him. As the Lord opened my heart and poured His Love and Faith into it, I went on my knees before the Awesome God and sought His forgiveness for my sins. I acknowledged that I was a sinner and asked Jesus to cleanse me from all unrighteousness, to touch me, to kill me and to raise me to a new life in Him, and to come into my heart and be my Lord, Savior and King. He has blessed me with His Holy Spirit from that day on to lead a life ( a new creation) in obedience to Him as He sets Himself as an example. The emptiness in my life finally was eradicated as Jesus Christ reigns as Lord and Master in my heart. I have never known such joy and such peace. He has filled me with a desire to love others and tell others about His love and Sacrifice for them. He has given me the much needed meaning and purpose in life and finally my faith has found a resting place in the Sovereign Lord of the universe.

Even as I wrestled with the consequences of my decision, either I had to accept it or reject it for you mean so much to me. This decision was a great cost not knowing if you would still accept me just as I am, just as the Lord Jesus accepted me. I do realize the cost that I have paid fades before the cost that God had to pay through His Only Son Jesus Christ, Who is at the right hand of the Father, for my sins and for the sins of the world. It is not a question of one displeasing the other but accepting the Truth as is. I did not commit myself to this decision so that I could fit into this society and culture, for I see salvation under no other name. The Lord recognizes that one cannot work one’s way into salvation and hence provided the way for those who believed on Him, through Jesus Christ, His Son.

You might be wondering as to why I went to such great length to explain and interpret what I have done. Because it is the Truth and every individual is responsible for their own actions, decisions etc. I want you to know that I love you and it originates from the eternal God who Himself is all love and wants me to tell you. If I did not firmly believe in it, I would not have told you that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Born of the Spirit, I submit myself each day in obedience to His will. The question of why (are they) do some religions exist, if Jesus is the Only Way to the Father, needs to be addressed. Can idols made by men speak? Can they bless? Can they redeem? The devil (Satan) has played on each individual mind and has torn us apart from God’s Truth and to live a lie. There is more at stake than we see and encounter in our lives. The spiritual realm in which the dark, deceitful , slothful creatures exist play havoc on the human mind and since we tend to reason with our mind so often that we give in. Please do understand that I am not trying to reason out my conversion or even win the case by argument. I want you to ask these pertinent questions yourselves and answer them truthfully. The Lord looks at the heart of each created being. Being good does not take us anywhere before God Almighty for the sin in us makes us naked and shameful, for the darkness in our hearts is contrasted against the glory of God. Hence each individual needs to make a choice - for God or against God. If God is one, why do we have to worship tens and hundreds of gods in our lives to live a greedy life? Are we worshipping God because He is God or are we worshipping Him so that our ‘wants’ will be met?

I believe only God can answer these questions and a number of others that you would have. He says in His Word “Ask and you will be given; Seek and you shall find; Knock and the door shall be opened to you.” It is my earnest prayer and my heart’s desire that you would read the Bible atleast once for His’ sake who loves you so much. “So shall My Word be that goeth forth out of mouth; It shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it” is the promise that God gives in His eternal Word. Open your hearts to the Lord and see what the Lord has in store for you. No matter what you want to do with the Truth or whatever you may choose, my love for you is not going to diminish in anyway.

In September of 1993, I received God’s call to the ministry of the Gospel (Good News). I have been obedient and applied to Erskine Theological Seminary for the Master of Divinity program. At that point of time, neither did I have the resources for the tuition fees nor transportation not boarding/lodging. I was accepted into the program within 15 days and the Gracious Lord gave (made available) me a tuition waiver for the program and through the pastor’s wife Mrs. John Compton Jr., I received a car for transportation and through Ruth and Ted Canupp, boarding and lodging at no cost. This is just one instance of what the Good Lord is doing in my life. I started the program at the Seminary in January 1994 and have so far completed 21 hours towards a 90 hour program for the Master of Divinity program. The Lord has blessed me with patience and endurance as He has given me much wisdom to receive His Truth. The point of the matter being I am serious about what I am trying to tell you honestly. If I am persevering to become a minister of the Gospel by the Grace of God who sustains my very breath, I am not voicing a lie to you.

I have been praying for God’s intervention in your lives, that you may see His Truth in the light of His grace, because I would like you to be where I am with the Lord Jesus Christ. It may seem that I am pointing fingers at you, however, it is not my intention to do so, for I want you to confront God’s Truth in your lives and set yourselves apart from Satan’s lie. No matter what is said, I cannot elucidate to you on every single aspect of my faith, since some of it has to be accepted in faith trusting the everlasting and eternal God for deliverance, for I know in part and prophesy in part, but when perfection (Lord Jesus Christ in all His glory) comes, I (we) shall know fully.

You might wonder ‘How is this pertinent to me?’ Jesus might have done what He wanted to do and How does this fit into my scheme of things and how do the consequences of the decision I make affect me? First of all, God who created us exists, for we have not come into this world accidentally. Sin exists no matter how much we want to deny it. The presence of sin means absence of God in an individual. Jesus was the atonement of our sins for God loves us so intensely that we cannot even fathom the length, breadth or width of His love. He has given each individual either to accept His plan of salvation through Jesus Christ, His Son, or reject it. The consequences of the choice you make - 1. For God (Trusting Jesus Christ as Lord, Savior & Master) - gift of eternal salvation, forever present in His kingdom (not earthly) to come and the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide our lives in Him. No fear of physical death since Christ has already overcome the world; 2. Against God (Rejecting the work of the Holy Spirit in one’s life) - forever banished from the presence of God, (fate of Satan) and to burn in hell forever. Pursuit after earthly things which satisfy for a while and become redundant; life without joy and without peace of God and a life of misery with emptiness overwhelming one without hope for the future.

These words seem harsh but it is the Truth. You may not get the complete picture in one reading of this letter for it has been written over a period of days led by the Spirit of God. I encourage you to read this letter two or three times and also to read the Bible for God offers His solution to man’s inherent sinfulness in a pristine and succinct manner. There is a lot more to heaven and hell than I have illustrated.

Since God has saved His people by grace, He will come again in all His glory (in the fullness of time), with all His angels to redeem His children from a wicked and perverse world to a sinless heaven. Even as I wait for the Lord Jesus Christ to come back to receive His children unto Himself, I hope you too would make a commitment to Him, before He comes. The choices you make determines the life you lead. Moreover these choices have eternal consequences.

You might then ask me, why it took me so long to address you regarding this matter. One reason and probably the only one being unable to express my thoughts and beliefs, since I had trusted myself to doing it. Once I let God to work and express Himself through me, there was clarity of thought as I sought His eternal wisdom. It is my heart’s desire that you will use this is as a stepping stone (a foundation) in your pursuit to seeking God’s Truth in your lives. For those who seek Him, will find Him unfailingly. May the Blessed Lord of joy, peace and comfort endow you with His glorious riches in Jesus Christ as you confront and accept His everlasting love and that there may be peace between you and the One who created you. No matter what you decide or which way you choose to go, I love you more than ever, from the depths of my heart and I thank the Lord for you. If there are any questions that you need an answer to, I pray you would confide in me and the Lord will give the directions you need to take.

How are Navneeta and Ganesh? How is my niece? How is Satish? Do let them know that I still love them and May God pour His choicest blessings upon you. Convey my regards to friends and relatives and I love you both.

Luv,

Naveen.

**P.S.** PLEASE DO REPLY

Mary Vishalam Balakrishnan

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 8 Sep 2011 02:12:00 +0530

Mary Vishalam Balakrishnan

Precious in the sight of the LORD... Psalm 116:15

Mary Vishalam

Mary in NICU

Mary was born July 31, 2001 at 1:16 PM. She weighed 5 pounds, 12 ounces and was 17 1/2 inches long. She was born with a head-full of dark hair just like her big sister, Rachel.

She was diagnosed with Turner's Syndrome with hypoplastic left heart syndrome. She underwent open heart surgery (the first of three stages), called the Norwood Procedure, on August 6, 2001. She was in surgery for over 9 hours and the surgeon had trouble keeping her oxygen saturatation at a reasonable level following the surgery. Once stabilized, she came out of surgery at 7:30pm and had a rough time the following night because her blood pressure levels were fluctuating. She was given various medications to keep her blood pressure stable, but it proved to no avail when the doctors started giving her CPR at 5:00am on August 7, 2001. She was ushered into the LORD's presence at 5:49am when the CPR proved futile to keep her alive.

After 7 short days on Earth, she is with the LORD Jesus Christ in glory enjoying His Blessed Presence.

We want to thank all of you for your prayers and intercessions made on behalf of Mary and our family. It has indeed been a tough time, but we take comfort in the God of Comfort to Whom all things are known from the foundation of this world (Acts 15:18). Also, that He has been Good (Psalm 100:5; 145:9) and Faithful (1 Thessalonians 5:24; Lamentations 3:22-23) and with us through this time of loss and grief, for He has promised to never leave us nor ever forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8; Joshua 1:5; Matthew 28:20; Hebrews 13:5). We rejoice, knowing that we will be re-united with Mary someday, yet are sorrowful that we only spent such a short time with Mary on Earth. We thank the LORD for the time that He gave Mary to spend with us (Psalm 139:13-16).

Mary would now be 7 years old and enjoying another year. Your big sister, little brother, and little sister would love you so much!

I miss you, Mary, so very much. And look forward to being reunited again someday. My arms ache to hold you, but I know you are safe in the arms of Jesus. I love you, my precious angel. -Love, Mom

Naveen Balakrishnan - Testimony

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 8 Sep 2011 02:01:00 +0530

Naveen Balakrishnan

I come from a country named India, which is between one-third and one-half the size of the United States of America, about the land mass on the east side of the Mississippi river. The estimated population of the country is around 1 billion, and it is a crowded place. The country has been fed by three civilizations: Aryans in the North, Mongolians in the North-East and Dravidians (who came from Australia) in the South. The society is agriculturally oriented, and 80% of the country's population lives in its villages. The staple food of the southern part of the country is rice, while it is wheat in the northern part. I was brought up in the fifth largest city in India, Hyderabad, which has an estimated population of around 4 million. The literacy rate of the country is around 57%, and some of the people do not know even how to sign their names. Contrary to the Chinese, whose main language of communication and instruction is Chinese, the medium of instruction in most schools is English in India.

There are seventeen officially recognized mainstream languages and over 200 other languages that people use. There are over 2000 dialects prevalent which further compounds the problem of communication. It is generally safe to say that one who knows English can get by without many hurdles. India is secular (as per its constitution) when it comes to its religious traditions: 82% of the population adhere to Hinduism, 11% to Islam, 2% each to Buddhism, Sikhism and Christianity and a number adhere to other beliefs constituting a very small minority. The Christian population in India is around 21 million of which 18 million are Roman Catholics. Christians are severely persecuted for their faith in scattered parts of the country. Some of the Hindu fundamentalist groups have vowed to eradicate the name of Jesus Christ from the country.
I am the eldest son of the three, brought up in a bourgeois Orthodox Hindu Family. My dad was the sole earning member in the family, and my mother was a homemaker. There was barely enough for us to get by. My dad was an alcoholic and a chain smoker. To add to our grief, he gambled his income away in horse races and the like. He was very short-tempered, and there was absolutely no respect for him, even though my mother did tolerate his behavior. I was not doing well at school until the sixth grade, and my dad got concerned. He started looking out for me, and that gave an impetus for me to do well; and within a couple of years, I was at the top of the class. My parents always homed in on the point that an individual could survive only through having an education. Being the eldest, I had to set an example for my younger brothers to emulate, and they hated every aspect of it, for they could not match up! Getting into engineering or medical school is only through fierce competitive written exams, and it is virtually a privilege to study in a government-sponsored school.

I believed in what my parents believed, as it was handed to them through the traditions of their fathers. I worshipped the idols, the trees, the sun, the moon gods and the like, diurnally. I was taught that God manifested Himself in His creation; and hence it was appropriate for one to worship the creation, for He was present in it. All the heavenly planets, including the stars, had some significance, and they had to be worshipped, if one cared to be successful in life. It was a religion of penance -- Be good and do good. This religion was inherited, and I never questioned what I believed - after all, my parents could not be off the mark. The order of worship incorporated giving reverence to the mother first, father second, teacher (guru) third and finally God. God took the last place, for it is the mother who gives birth, father who guides, teacher who teaches the way of truth and of the Lord, and then the Lord gets our attention. If the Lord and the teacher appear at the same time, it was required for the sakshya (disciple) to bow down before the teacher first, before paying homage to God.

Hinduism teaches that there is One God (Brahman - "Great Soul") and that there are a number of ways that one can use to reach God. It believes that all of the ways lead to the truth. It advocates Bhakti Marga (The way of devotion), Gnana Marga (The way of knowledge), and Dharma Marga (The way of righteousness - doing good) to attain salvation from the cycle of life. It believes in reincarnation and states that one has to excel in one's good works over bad works to attain a better life in the next one to come upon the earth. The course of the next life on the earth is determined by one's karma (either good over bad, or bad over good). If one has good karma, then the next life would be better than the present one. If one has bad karma, then the next life would be degenerated to a lower level - probably be born as an animal or a bird, if not a rotten human beggar. Vimukti (Salvation) from this cycle of life is through one of the above mentioned ways by which you seek the Lord diligently. Some forsake their families and go to the mountains and live like hermits, seeking God in the wilderness for the rest of their lives. For those who love this worldly life and are ignorant, there is no redemption from this vicious cycle of reincarnation. If you are lucky, you may get out in ten lives (one more than the cat!!!). To sum it up, Hinduism at its core is a works religion and beliefs are very flexible, so that one can adapt to whatever one chooses. As to salvation, it is what man does, and there is absolutely no participation of God.

I hated all the habits that my dad possessed, and I made a promise to myself that I would be a better parent to my offspring when they come in due time. I was very self-centered, haughty in appearance and attitude. I could never take no for an answer, and could never think of being the second best, with the urge to being the winner all the time. I offered sacrifices (not animal) to idols, trees, planets etc., to appease them and to win favors for my rather greedy living. I was not sincere in what I did. In other words, I was the master of my own destiny. As we brothers grew out of adolescence, we began to reason with our dad about his habits and stressed to him the importance of our education. He saw merit in our ideas and abstained from drinking, smoking and gambling for a while, and his attitude towards us, his children, improved. He has since started all these things again to a very limited extent. He has committed his life to idol and sun worship since then, encouraging us to follow in his footsteps.

After competing with nearly 100,000 students to get into an engineering school (of which only 1000 make it), I worked hard to get into the mechanical engineering program in a very prestigious government school for my undergraduate curriculum in 1985. The idea of the New Age movement appealed to me, that it would make me a better person in the world. It promised a better life, filled with meaning, while in the world it was a humdrum existence. Seeking God through transcendental meditation (TM) excited my being, and I was taught by disciples of a guru Parmahamsa Yogananda, who was dead in 1952, way before I came to be in this world. I was supposed to be meeting with God during the hours of transcendental meditations. I would see flashes of lightning and bright lights and some times just utter darkness. I would get an eerie sensation of my soul leaving my body, while it floated the heavens. TM teaches that one will be able to tap into 90% of the brain that remains unused in the lifetime of one's being and recognize that one is a part of the Eternal Consciousness. One dangerous aspect of TM is addiction. Once you get into it, it is difficult to get out, though not impossible. As long as I was involved in meditation, it made me feel good; and the moment I came out of it, I felt miserable each time. The outside world began to lose its meaning as long as I was involved in it. The New Age movement, in contradiction to Hinduism, even though it is a part of it, emphasized the importance of the teacher to be above parents and above God Himself. I did not experience any of these feelings for any sustained period of time. Not wanting to be left out, I would concoct stories to prove to my friends that I was better than they were. I did not want to be ridiculed and labeled not spiritual, for much was at stake. About 25% of the Americans were a recognized part of the New Age movement in 1988. This number has been growing steadily in the last few years. The emptiness in my soul was driving me crazy, for I longed to know the Creator of this Universe, for Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 3:11 "that He (speaking of God) has set eternity in their hearts." I persisted in this dream world for five whole years before the Lord Jesus Christ encountered my thirsty soul.

After finishing my undergraduate program, I worked for an year. My classmates who had proceeded to the United States for higher studies prompted me to apply to various schools, so as to pursue my higher education and then to seek a better life out there. I applied to eight schools and was accepted at seven. I chose to go to Kansas State University, in Manhattan, Kansas to do my master's program in industrial engineering. When I went to apply for the student visa in Madras, India, I was rejected, for the lady who was interviewing me (behind a bullet-proof glass) was not convinced that I was going to come back after I finished my studies. My friend who had gone with me to the embassy for the student visa, who was also rejected for the same reasons, told me that he was going to try one more time the very next day. Please keep this in mind: if you get rejected twice, you cannot apply for the student visa for the next two years. I was not willing to take such a chance, but he prevailed over my stubbornness. We left for the embassy at 2:30 in the morning on July 17, 1990. There were already twelve students in front of us. Within the next fifteen minutes, the crowd grew to more than 200. The embassy opened at 7:30 am, and we proceeded to reapply. My friend, who was before me, was told by the one examining his documents to come back and pick up his visa at 4:30 in the afternoon. I was utterly amazed, for this was the same guy they had rejected yesterday, and I became very nervous. I had never stammered before, and I was too dumbfounded. I was next in line, and the man examined my documents to see if they were in order and proceeded to ask a few questions of me which I stuttered to answer. He asked me to come back at 4:30 to pick up the visa. I was so exhilarated at the whole scenario, that I ran out of the embassy, lest they should change their mind about it. When we came back to pick our visas at 4:30, they asked us to go to the interview room, for they realized that we were rejected candidates. We waited for thirty minutes and we could see the same lady who had interviewed us the day before sitting behind the glass. It seemed like thirty years. Finally, a lady called and gave us our visas without any questions. We sighed a huge relief! The only thought that crossed my mind, at that point in time, was that Americans were a bunch of hypocrites. The Lord would show me how erroneous I was in my assessment at a later point in time, when He pointed out to me that it was His grace that brought me into this country and that I did not make it on my merits. I ended up at Kansas State University on August 16, 1990. Four months later, I transferred to Texas A & M University in Bryan-College Station, Texas. Eight months later, after having a disagreement with my advisor, I moved to Clemson University to pursue my master's program in mechanical engineering in September of 1991.

I applied for the Clemson Area International Friendship program, which enabled international students to meet with resident American families and become conversant with their culture and traditions. This was a forum through which cross-cultural relationships could be fostered and nourished. This would also enable the international student to adapt to his / her new surroundings. I and my roommates were assigned a couple in Anderson (they were in the process of moving from Seneca to Anderson), Cheryl and Andy Solvig. We were told that this couple would be contacting us within the next couple of weeks. Two weeks, and there was no response from these people, and so I ventured to call the Student Coordinator, Becky Powell, and the Host Family Coordinator, Ruth Canupp, to inquire as to why we were not contacted. They called us back after a couple of days and said to us that we will be contacted by the couple in the next week or so. Two months had passed and nothing was established. This couple, we assumed, were just not serious about their commitment. I was really frustrated with this whole program and was planning to give a piece of my mind to Becky and to Ruth. On November 1, 1991, the day that I was intending to call these two ladies, Ruth called me in my laboratory and asked me as to what I was doing that evening. She invited me to go eat dinner with her at a restaurant. Ruth and Ted came and picked me up, and we went to eat at a Chinese restaurant with another Indian student, Rajat Charan. At a later point in time, God would reveal to me that Ruth and Ted were His chosen vessels from the beginning for me to come to know the Lord and that He knew what He was doing.

Ruth invited me to go to her church, First Baptist in Westminster SC, on December 1, 1991 (it was Ted's birthday). This was the first time that I had ever stepped into a Protestant church. Church to me was just another place for meditation. Being involved in the New Age movement, it did not bother me, for Christ was indeed one of the gods that I worshipped as part of the TM. The Sunday school teacher, Audrey Smith, was very excited that I had come to church, and I could not understand her. There were at least 10 American students in my class, and not one spoke. I can understand their apprehensiveness, for I was too feeling apprehensive in a like manner. It felt odd to be in a Caucasian class. A few weeks later, I was given a Bible to read and was asked to read the Gospel of John, for I was going to the church on a regular basis.

I had read a lot of the 'so-called' Hindu Scriptures, for my mother used to translate the teachings of Upanishads and the Vedas from Sanskrit into Tamil (my mother tongue) and explain to us the mysteries with great illustrations. I wanted to know what the God of the Bible had to say about Himself. So I started reading from the first book, Genesis. There were interesting stories in Genesis and Exodus. The book of Leviticus began to drag a little bit and the book of Numbers was the final straw. The same stuff was repeated over and over again without exception in relation to the twelve tribes of Israel. It could be likened to a record player gone bad, when it begins to repeat the same things over and over again. I could not decipher that such a God could be so redundant. I dropped the book like a hot potato.

The people from my Sunday School and the church in general, especially Ruth, began to witness to me about their faith in Christ as the only way to salvation. I was flabbergasted, that they would even dare to communicate that I was a sinner and need of God's grace. I became very cynical, and began to explain that there was a world much bigger than the United States of America, with diverse cultures, traditions, religions etc., and that it was ludicrous on the part of one to believe that Christ was the only way, truth and the life. It was my understanding at that point in time, that all religions lead to the same God, for we all believe in One God. To clarify my point of view, I used the mountain as an illustration. To climb to the top of the mountain, not everyone uses the same route. So also, (God is sitting upon the top of this mountain), different people use different routes (ways, methods) to get to this same God. We call one route (method or way) Hinduism, an other Islam, an other Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism etc. Since no one who witnessed to me did know how to answer this question, while knowing that illustration was faulty at its core, I always had my way. They persevered in communicating the same message to me. Yet there was not one to point out to me, (which the Lord revealed to me at a later point in time), how this illustration fails.

When summer of 1992 drew near, I was bankrupt, having exhausted all my funds. There was no more money for school or for living. I was in debt to the tune of $15,000 to my friends and to various credit card companies. Ruth and Ted helped me financially through this time, though I was no relation to them, to help pay some of my outstanding bills. They volunteered to help me find a job during the summer. This was the first time that God humbled me. I had a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering and yet could manage only a job as a trash picking laborer in a construction company. I began to repay some of the loans that I had taken and was hoping that I would be in the clear in about 18 months. The job lasted six months and I was laid off in December of that same year. During that summer, I began with a new fervor to read the Bible from the beginning and I went through the first hurdle in Numbers and hit the next spot in 1 Chronicles, and yet I persisted on. During September, while working at the construction company, an African - American man asked me if I believed in the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior, to which I answered 'yes.' I do not know even to this day why I answered in the affirmative even though I had not come to believe in Him as my Savior. I had grown a tremendous respect for His name and came to regard the Lord Jesus Christ as a Good Teacher. This troubled me day in and day out. When I was laid off, life came to a standstill. I did not plan to save money for the future, and honestly I was left with $8 in the bank. I was too ashamed to ask for help, for I was not responsible in my stewardship of the resources that God had granted me.

I survived on noodles for a month or so and was depending upon some of my friends who would invite me to come and eat dinner with them. I could not live in this manner any longer. I decided to end my life, hoping that my parents would be able to collect the money from the insurance and pay my bank loan (I was not aware at that point of time, that the insurance companies did not pay any amount in case of a suicide). As I pondered as to what I had done with my life, I had failed myself (in not accomplishing for which I had come to this country), my friends from whom I had taken large loans and more importantly my family, who had put so much hope on me that I would do well. This led me to the conviction that life was not worth living anymore since I would only be a burden and would not have contributed in any positive manner. As I stood on the bridge of Lake Hartwell on one evening, as the sun was peering down the western sky in January 1993, I did not have the guts to jump over the bridge. I was well aware that if I jumped, I would not come out alive, because I did not know how to swim and the water near the bridge was over a hundred feet deep. Even if I had realized that it was a mistake after I had jumped into the lake, it would have not helped me to come to the shore, and I surely would have drowned.

Like a bolt from the blue, I heard a voice saying to me, "Naveen, go home, for I have better things in store for you." I am sure this is not the first time that the Lord had spoken to me, but definitely it was the first time that I was all ears. Having nothing else to hold on to, I went back to the apartment pondering upon the promise that had been made to me. Two weeks later, I was offered a job at Dynacast Seneca (presently called SPM - Seneca) as a product machine operator on January 27, 1993 on the third shift. This meant that I had the whole day to myself.

During the month of February, as I was reading through the book of Romans, I came to the verse "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God" in 3:23 and was certainly aghast. The word 'all' seemed misleading and I thought that it was probable that someone might have made a mistake by incorporating it in that verse. I did not believe people like Mahatma Gandhi, Ramakrishna Parmahamsa, Shirdi Sai Baba, Guru Nanak Singh, to name a few, could have sinned, for they led very pure lives and gave themselves to the service of the people and to the nation. I was flustered to read that "the wages of sin was death, but the gift of eternal life was through the Lord Jesus Christ" in Romans 6:23. As I reflected upon the very words of Jesus "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me" in John 14:6, I asked myself how it is possible for so many people to go astray. That was indeed a very bold statement, and I somehow felt deep within my heart that it was true. The way of salvation that Paul proclaims in Romans 10:9-10, 13 "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God had raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved. For with the heart, you believe unto righteousness and with the mouth, confession is made unto salvation . . . . For whosoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." confused me all the more, for I did not truly understand the meaning thereof. The problem was further confounded, when Paul writing to the Ephesians in 2:8-9 states "For by grace are ye saved and this not of yourselves. It is the gift of God and not of works, lest any man should boast."

It was at this time that Ted shared with me his testimony as to how he came to know the Lord. Why he did at such at a time, I do not know. At the age of 29 years, after coming back from the Second World War, he walked down the aisle of a Baptist church when the invitation was given at the end of the preaching hour. The pastor asked him a few questions such as "Do you want to be baptized? Do you want to join the church? Do you want to become an active participant in the Sunday School program? Would you be faithful in your giving and attendance in this congregational body?" To all the above, Ted answered yes, and he was baptized the very next week. One day, when Ted was reading through the same passages that I have quoted above, he was in a real dilemma. He questioned his "Christianity" and was at odds for not having asked the Lord for the forgiveness of his sins and then turning to Him in faith. The Lord opened his eyes to His marvelous truth and Ted came to receive pardon for his iniquities and was saved by the Eternal God. Ted shared this testimony about three times with me in a matter of seven days. God used Ted's testimony to break my heart and made me realize that I was a lost sinner who was in need of His forgiveness. I went on my knees and pleaded for His mercy and forgiveness.

The Lord gloriously saved me that very day in February 1993 and granted His transcending peace to rest upon my heart. I asked God, "If You indeed are Who You claim to be, what about my brothers and parents?" He pointed to Luke 14:26-27 "If any man does not hate his mother, father, brothers, sisters, children and even his own self, he cannot be My disciple. If any man does not take up his cross and follow Me, he cannot be my disciple." I was scared to share what the Lord had done in my life with anyone, including Ruth and Ted. Another reason that I did not share was of the fear of being rejected by the congregation at First Baptist in Westminster SC. The church was totally Caucasian, and I did not want to be left out, for I had come to love a lot of people in that church. I continued to study His word with great fervor and learned the importance of prayer and fellowship with other believers, even though they did not know that I was one of them. After three weeks or so, God placed a call upon my heart to leave everything and follow Him. I was scared and I did not make much sense out of it. I called upon the pastor, Rev. John Compton Jr., and asked him if he could answer a few questions that were bothering me and if he had fifteen minutes to spare. He set the time at 1:00 p.m. on a Tuesday afternoon in March 1993, and I made it to his study with some apprehension not knowing as to how he would respond. I began to share with him as to what the Lord had been doing in my life since the time I had come to this country to pursue higher education in the field of mechanical engineering. His countenance was one of amazement, as God began to open 'windows of vision' of how He had worked in unusual circumstances in my life, even as I was relating to the pastor. I could not believe what I was seeing and what I was saying. The God who my heart longed after was there by my side all the time, and I had failed to recognize His presence and His work in my life. I did not share all my fears with him that day and asked him to pray that the Lord would open the doors to lead me where He would want me to be. However, the pastor gave me an invitation to join the church if I chose to do so. I thanked him for the gracious opportunity and for his prayers concerning the Lord's will for my life. When I left his study, it was nearly 5:30 p.m. that afternoon. The very next day, I looked into some of the catalogues of seminaries, though I was not very serious about it. I picked out Erskine Theological Seminary, for our Minister of Education and Music, Rev. Timothy L. Bowen, was a graduate of that seminary and decided to call them. I never followed through on that, but Ruth had called for an application from that seminary in my name, and I received an application a few days later.

I prayed about the decision and joined the church the next Sunday. I informed Ruth and Ted about my decision to join the church beforehand, though I suspect that they knew all along. It had snowed the previous day, and yet there was a strong crowd on that Lord's day. A lot of the people came forward with tears in their eyes and welcomed me into their family as one of their own. I had never such an outpouring of God's love anywhere before. I came to realize only after a few months later that these people were praying in one accord for my salvation and that they had sacrificed their sleep a part of the night to pray for me. My heart was overwhelmed with deep gratitude and joy for having found a home with my brothers and sisters in the Lord. In that day I had received a hundred times as many brothers and sisters in the Lord, fulfilling His promise to me in John 10:10 " I have come that they may have life and have life abundantly" and in Mark 10:29-30 " 'I tell you the truth,' Jesus replied, 'no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields-- and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life.' " I did not pursue the calling which God had placed on my heart and reasoned with my own self, saying that it was my whimsical idea, recognizing how important the salvation of the Lord really was and the great need of proclaiming His salvation to the lost world.

The next six months were to set the stage for what was to follow in my Christian walk with the Lord in His Spirit. I devoted myself diligently to the study and meditation on His holy word, communicating with the Lord in prayer and in fellowship with other believers to worship and adore the Lord Jesus. The Lord opened my heart to understand His Word in the light of His truth and grace. I learned to pray publicly and yet had not shared my testimony with any congregation, though I did talk to a few friends of mine about the salvation of the Lord Jesus. I did not let my parents know that I had become a Christian, for I was afraid of being excommunicated and ostracized from the family. Being the eldest son, I had betrayed the family and its traditions to embrace and serve the One True and Living God. However, I did inform my parents that I was going to church on a very regular basis and they assumed that I was trying to conform to the western society while being here. I was beginning to enjoy life out here and looked forward to the good life that was in store for me in this country in the future. I had stayed here for three years and I liked it here and wanted to spend the rest of my life out here.

Towards the end of September in 1993, the Lord burdened my heart one more time, asking me to leave everything behind and surrender my life to His calling. I began to reason with God and tried to bargain that if He would wait for a few more months, then I would get my green card and then I would follow Him. I cried to Him and there was no answer. I struggled with Him for five whole days and my days were miserable. I could not sleep, could not eat properly, lost interest in Bible study, could not pray, lost interest in work, etc. I even pointed out reasons that I did not have the money to pay for the tuition, which was a staggering $2,000 per semester. I did not have any form of transportation except for a used motorcycle in a dilapidated condition. If I heeded the Lord's calling, I would not have a place to stay; and being a student full-time in the seminary meant I would not be able to even have a full-time job. I, a puny character, was challenging God to take care of the situation, for I had no avenue, since I was still on the verge of paying my debts both in India and in the United States. I have often wondered looking at this incident retrospectively if God was smiling at me, as He says in Jeremiah 32:27 "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for Me?" Nevertheless, I conceded to His will and the day I posted the application to the seminary in September of 1993, God's sheer and transcendent peace rested upon my heart and I knew it was the Lord's will for my life. Fifteen days later, I received a letter from the seminary stating that I had received a full tuition scholarship for the 90-hour Master of Divinity program. The pastor's wife, Mrs. Anne Compton, graciously gave her old car, a 1976 Oldsmobile Cutlass (it still runs, by the grace of the Lord), as a gift. Ruth and Ted told me that I could stay and eat at their house without cost. God had now taken care of three of the four hindrances that I had pointed out. I went to the Quality Manager in Dynacast and informed him of the Lord's calling upon my life and asked him if I would be able to work there (for there are no part-time employees in that company). He told me that he would have to ask the General Manager and abide by his decision. One month passed and there was no answer from him yet. I dared to ask him if I would be allowed to work part-time, and he said, 'Yes!' I could not believe my ears, for the Good Lord had taken care of my every need, even before I had started taking classes at the seminary.

I joined the seminary in January of 1994 and was very apprehensive about the whole program, for theological education is a whole different arena. The transition took its toll on me, for it is was very vexing, as if one was going from the concrete to the abstract. I had to develop, by the grace of God, a whole different attitude to theological learning, for the concepts were mind-boggling to say the least. I was contemplating whether the Lord intended for me to be in the seminary in the first place. It was at this time, that Dr. Merwyn Johnson and few other seminarians who asserted to me, that "this too shall pass." It was their encouragement at that moment which has kept me going strong even to this day. It was in the summer of that year, after taking two classes in the Hebrew language, that I went with the youth group to Ridgecrest Conference Center in Asheville. During that week, the Spirit of the Lord convicted me of my need to write to my parents concerning the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. So far, I had only told them that I was going to the church with Ruth and Ted. They were unaware, even though they might have suspected, that I was a sinner saved by grace.

I began to elucidate in a warm and courteous letter, as to what they meant to me and how they nurtured me in a culture in which they themselves were brought up. I wrote to them concerning the desire of my heart to know the Lord of all creation and how in that aspiration I had ventured, in vain, to various traditions which promised me that I would find God. I wrote to them, how the Lord, whom I was seeking, sought me and saved me. I wrote to them, how I came to understand His grace and His providence for my life and the calling that He had placed upon my life to follow Him and also, how the Lord came to fulfill every need to prepare me for His service. By the time, I was finished writing, it took me eight days and ten pages.

To read that letter click on the following link, Naveen's Letter To His Parents

I mailed the letter the first of August in 1994 to them. I called my parents after ten days, so as to allow enough time for the letter to reach them, and spoke to them. They were very heartbroken and my mother in tears, asked me to pack my bags, forget the seminary and come home. She told me that I was misinformed, deceived by the people into following something that was not true. My dad stated that it was okay for me "to do as the Romans do while one is in Rome," implying that once I moved out of this country and went back to India, I could return to my former way of life. I had to respond to my dad and indicate to him, that it is one thing to do as the Romans do when they are in Rome and to be a Roman no matter where in the world you were thereby emphasizing my conversion to Christianity was not merely cultural but an ongoing reality. It was not conformity to the western fad of living. My brother, Ganesh was aghast and asked of me as to why I was intent to force another heart attack / stroke in my mother's life. The conversation did not end in a peaceful manner, and even some of my Hindu and Muslim friends were opposed to my conversion. It has been a hard road since then, and I pray for them diurnally, asking the Gracious Lord to intervene in their lives.

My mother had suffered a heart stroke when my brother, Ganesh, informed his intention of marrying his girlfriend of eight years, who was of a different caste (Kshatriya) than my parents, who were Brahmins (a step higher than the Kshatriya) in 1992. She was hospitalized as a result of this stroke for the left side of her body was completely paralyzed, and she later came to know that a part of her brain had suffered permanent damage. She had to be carried to the wedding ceremony of my brother, for she was unable to walk. My mother did not talk to this girl (Navneeta) for over 6 months, while living in the same house. Such prejudice is prevalent in that society, though people will not openly declare it. The Shudras (the lowest caste - 3 notches below the Brahmin) were being saved by the glorious Hand of the Lord as they turned to the Compassionate One, and Christianity has always been treated as a low-caste man's religion in India, by most Hindu believers. My mother had recovered from the paralysis after 1½ years, though not completely. That resulted in a remark from Ganesh, stating that he was responsible for her paralysis on her left side, and he asked me if I was trying to kill her by paralyzing her on the right side.

They saw God's salvation of my life as a betrayal of their faith. They thought that I was trying to shirk the responsibility of the eldest son of taking care of my parents. Yes, I had responded in faith (which again was given to me), but it was God Who had saved me. Luke 14:26-27 became a reality in my life. I sincerely did not know how to deal with these people, torn between my love for the Lord Jesus and my love for my parents. They could not understand as to how I could love them and still do something contrary to them and to their beliefs. I have since been praying that much more fervently, desiring that the Lord would graciously intervene in their lives, for Scripture reveals to us in Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

In November of 1994, I was really overwhelmed by the amount of work at the seminary that I had to do, due to which I was spending eight to ten hours each day just writing papers for the various classes. The amount of time that I was spending studying the Bible was about ten minutes and another five minutes devoted to prayer life. My social life was non-existent. The Lord began to deal with me and asked me as to where my priorities lay? I was really ashamed of myself, and in the effort to do well at school, I was sacrificing my precious time with the Lord. I committed to the Lord at that time, that I would spend at least two hours each day, come what may, and started studying the Bible from Genesis to Revelation every 3 months.

The Lord has since then blessed me in such marvelous ways that I had more time at my hands than I ever did before. He has given me a tremendous hunger to know His Word, and I am thankful for His grace that continues to uphold me, even in difficult times. He has brought to remembrance a number of things that He has taught me when I was perplexed by difficult questions posed by my friends who tested to see if the faith I professed was real. It was about this time that the Lord showed me how the illustration of the mountain failed. If all paths lead to the same God, with Whom there is no shadow of turning (in simpler terms - He does not change), then the paths ought to be harmonious with each other, i.e., one path cannot contradict another. However, it is very easy for one to see that each path contradicts the other and hence that illustration fails. Moreover, if we could make it to the top of the mountain by ourselves, why do we need God? For salvation does not depend upon what man does, but what God has accomplished through His Blessed Son Jesus Christ.

Then came January of 1995, when I was short of funds in regards to paying the insurance on my car and for the purchase of books for the following semester. I was out of work, due to the company closing for about two weeks, and hence there were no paychecks to supplement the costs that were ahead. With five days left to pay for the car insurance and not knowing how to resolve the predicament that I was in, I committed this matter into the hands of the Lord according to the promise that He makes in Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." Amazingly enough, at that very moment, a transcending peace rested upon my heart, and I knew the Lord was going to take care of this matter. The third day, someone had deposited about $500 in my bank account, a church sent me a check for $300 and another church sent me a check for $135, and by the time the loose change added up, it totaled more than $1,100 in less than five days. The Lord blessed my life more and beyond my need. Such a Generous and Gracious God that I do serve.

More and more of these instances have crept in my life, and the Lord has been faithful in every circumstance, reminding me of Matthew 6:33 "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you," and of Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." I have often wondered about His goodness to me and I am convinced that He cares for each and every one in the same manner, for there is no favoritism with Him. I thank Him for the life that He has bestowed upon me and continues to encourage me in my walk with Him. He has bolstered me to be a strong witness for Him and continues to uphold me, inspite of my inherent weaknesses. I have had my struggles with Him and have often questioned where my life was headed, for He was silent for a long time for, you see, the Lord works in His own time.

Through these times, Ruth and Ted have been very gracious in putting up with my infirmities, and the heartaches that they endured on account of me cannot be described in words. I am so thankful for their prayerful support and understanding. I am also thankful to some of the precious brothers and sisters in the seminary who enabled me to keep my focus on the things that were important and to maintain my priorities. The Lord granted me a number of opportunities to bear witness to Him and to His work in my life to which I have been faithful. I have been called to preach / teach the word of God in a number of churches, and I am grateful for all these marvelous experiences as He continues to equip me in the work that He has for me.

I had been praying to the Lord Jesus for 2 ½ years to show me the way where He would minister through me. The Lord asked me to wait upon Him, and it was really frustrating for I was nearing the end of my preparation at Erskine Seminary. On March 24, 1996 (Friday), while I was in the New Testament II class taught by Dr. John Blumenstein, the Lord spoke to me through His word - specifically, the Epistle to the Philippians and said to me to follow Him to a place where they have had not had the best which I interpreted to mean that He was calling me to go to India. Only later He would show me how wrong I was in that interpretation. I was very apprehensive of that call, for one, I am not even going to have my own family to support me in the God given ministry. Moreover, I know only a handful of Christians, (Indians - not the "wahoo" ones), the ones who had come to this country for a visit during the past two years. I was sincerely desiring in my heart that He would ask me to stay in the United States and minister as His servant; but I have committed to the Lord that I would do His bidding.

I called home on the following Sunday, to share the good news that I was finally coming home and for good for the Lord wanted me to do so. I did not get to share that with them, for Ganesh informed me that my mother was hospitalized because of congestive heart failure and probably needing a coronary bypass surgery. See the irony of God, the day He calls me to go back as His minister was the very day my mother ends up in the hospital. They were contacting a number of doctors to ascertain her present heart condition, and nothing really came to any avail for a week or so. They came to know that three arteries of her heart were completely blocked and that they needed to conduct the surgery at once. They tried a few hospitals and came to realize that this surgery was above and beyond their means. My dad had decided to sell the only apartment that was in his name, so that he could provide for the surgery. As an act of desperation my dad asked me if I would be to contribute $ 6000 to $ 7000 for the surgery and the medication that would ensue, which could thwart his plans of selling the apartment. At that time, I had only $ 50 in my bank account. In case if he had to sell the apartment, where would he and mother stay?

I cried to the Lord and laid this matter before His throne of grace. I had asked a few people to pray concerning this situation and many of them responded with their prayers and financial support. I am so thankful to Dr. William Kuykendall (my Old Testament and Hebrew Professor) and to Myong Paik (my Korean sister and seminarian in the Lord) and to Timothy A. Erskine (not the founder of the Seminary, only a precious brother and a fellow seminarian in the Lord) for their diligent prayers and for their precious financial support and concern for my mother. There were a number of others both at the First Baptist Church at Westminster SC and at Erskine Theological Seminary who assured me that the Lord would take care of this matter.

Within six weeks, the church and the Seminary collected $ 3,500 each to pay for mother's surgery and all I could say was, "Thank you, Lord, for Your faithfulness," as He reminded me of Joshua 1:5, "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." I sent the money immediately to India, and they were able to pay the cardiologist, Dr. Prasad, before the surgery. The surgery took longer than expected, and mother was having breathing problems following the surgery and had to be put on the respirator. I could not sleep on the night that she had her surgery and the night following the surgery, because she had breathing problems, and prayed for her recovery. She was out of the Intensive Care Center within a matter of days and was discharged from the hospital 9 days prior to her scheduled departure, and in that itself the Hand of the Lord was upon her.

The Lord has been really gracious upon her life, and maybe this will lay the foundation for her to recognize that the Lord Jesus is very real and not only her but the whole family. During this time, I was not able to concentrate on my studies, and the professors were very gracious in helping me out and giving me extensions to finish my class work. I still have a long way to go, but "He is the same yesterday, today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8). He has granted me to grow in the grace and knowledge of His dear Son, my Savior through these incredible situations where He enables me to rely upon Him alone. These are only a few instances that have been written down, and God will add many such chapters in the days to come.
The LORD in His time sent me a very godly woman by the name of Trena and confirmed in both our hearts that He had chosen one for the other. We were married in February 1998 after which we moved to SC to pastor a church. When I was pastoring Warrenton church, He indicated to me that this was the place He wanted me to serve. He would confirm His call that I was in the right place where He wanted me to be because I was still under the impression that I was going to be called back to go to India as His servant to preach and teach the blessed gospel of our LORD and Savior Jesus Christ. While we were in SC, the LORD blessed our household with the gift of a beautiful daughter, who was named Rachel in Sept 1999. We moved to Iowa at the LORD's bidding at the end of 1999 and this is where we have been since. We both are waiting on the LORD for an open door wherein we can proclaim the gospel of the Blessed LORD Jesus Christ with all boldness. We would covet the prayers Of God's people during this time of transition.

This transition would last about two years during which time He would indeed lead us through some very difficult situations to teach us concerning how to be dependent upon Him for our every need. It has been a difficult passage but we are thankful for bringing us through it to remind us that He is faithful and He knows what He is doing through our lives for His honor and glory. When we found out that Trena was pregnant with our second child in January 2001, we were elated. The pregnancy progressed without much incident this time around (unlike with her pregnancy with Rachel wherein she was dehydrated a couple of times and ended up in the hospital). On July 17, 2002, on a routine checkup, during an ultrasound the sonographer got concerned and sent us back to the doctor. The doctor then scheduled for us to do a level 2 diagnostic ultrasound concerning the heart of the child in Trena's womb the very next day, July 18th. After 3.5 hours of testing and going through three different level 2 diagnostic, Dr. Mahone, the attending physician, informed us that Mary had a condition called the Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. We had no idea what this entailed or meant. We were then scheduled to meet with doctors in Iowa City at the University of Iowa Hospital on July 19th since the hospitals in Des Moines were ill-equipped to deal with the baby's heart condition which required immediate open heart surgery.

Our trip then to Iowa City was made on the following day, July 19, 2001 wherein we waited an entire day trying to meet with the different physicians to get an understanding of what this heart condition meant and what were the consequences of having such a heart condition. By about 5pm that evening it was informed that this condition was pretty serious and that it needed immediate attention. We could not meet with the neonatologist or with the pediatric cardiac surgeon on that day and it was scheduled for us to meet with them on the following Tuesday July 24, 2001. At that point, we met with the OB-Gyn who was going to spearhead the delivery and they indicated to us that they were planning to induce Trena on July 31, 2001 and our presence was requested there at 6 a.m. on that day at the University of Iowa Hospitals at Iowa City, IA (about 125 miles from where we were living in Norwalk, IA (suburb of Des Moines). We met with the Neonatologist that afternoon and then with the Pediatric Cardiac Surgeon who did a level 2 ultrasound and indicated that the child's heart condition was pretty serious but now we were in good hands.

We proceeded to travel to Iowa City the afternoon before and spent the night at Trena's sister's place. The next morning we got to the hospital early in the morning and they got her hooked up at about 8:00 a.m. The child was born at 1:16 p.m. weighing 5 lbs. 12.5 oz and 17.5 inches long. We had waited to find out what God had blessed us with and found out that the child was a girl and Rachel that day became her big sister. We named her Mary Vishalam after her two grandmothers. She was immediately taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and it was nearly 3.5 hours before we were allowed to go and see her. By this time Mary was hooked up to a IV drip, called prostaglandin, to keep her blood vessel (PDA – patent ductus arteriorus) which connects the Aorta to the Pulmonary Artery open so that she could have some oxygenated blood flow through her body. This medication was put in place until such time she could be operated upon. The very next day, August 1st, they had to put her on a nitrogen controlled environment so that they could monitor her level of oxygen intake. Mary looked peaceful and calm on the outside while on the inside she was battling for every breath to survive on her own. She was then moved to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) on Friday afternoon.

On August 06, 2001 she was taken to the operating room at 8:00 a.m. and we did not hear any news until 5:00 p.m. that the doctors were still working with her in the operating room. Finally we got word that she was not doing too well and our pastor from First Baptist Church in Norwalk, IA, who was with us, started the prayer chain and within an hour or so, her heart was functioning as it should be and the surgeon was confounded, but we knew it was God at work hearing the cries of His children and responding to them.
Mary finally got out of the recuperating room at 7:30 p.m. and the surgeon met us and explained to us that she was not out of the woods yet. They had lost her on the table, but she was given CPR and brought back within a couple of minutes. She had about 15 tubes coming out of her and with an open chest wherein one could see her little heart beating. We stayed around until 12:00 a.m. in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) before calling it a night and retired to a Ronald MacDonald House a couple of blocks from the hospital. At 4:15 a.m. Trena called the PICU and was informed that Mary had a rough time but by now she had been stabilized with medication.

At 5:00 a.m. the phone rang and the PICU nurse informed that the intensivists had started CPR and told us to come right away. We made it there within 10 minutes and the doctors were furiously working on her trying to revive her. After 15 minutes or so, the surgeon (who had spent the night at the hospital) pulled us aside and informed us that they had been giving her CPR for over 25 minutes and it was difficult to ascertain the brain damage that she had already suffered. He gave us two option, one to stop CPR or the other to put her on EKMO Machine (Electro-Kardio Membrance Oxygenator -- in layman terms.. heart lung bypass machine). We asked for 5 minutes and we went out to pray. We cried to our God and asked Him to grant us wisdom concerning the life of this child and what decision to make. He made it clear to us that He wanted us to let her go into His hands. This was the most difficult decision we ever had to make. We went back to the PICU and informed them to stop the CPR but the doctors asked us to give them five more minutes since they had injected her with some medication and allow them time to work through it. After our second insistence they finally quit CPR and we let Mary into His loving hands as He had commanded us. We held the lifeless body of our child in our hands at 7 days old as it grew colder and colder with each passing moment. There was a smile on Mary's face as if saying, "Daddy, Mommy, I beat you to Jesus."

To check our second gift from the LORD, please click on the following link, Mary Vishalam

We would learn a very difficult lesson through this struggle of losing Mary. God would indeed teach us that He does not put upon us anymore than we are able to bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). He also reminded us to Cast our every burden upon Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). He promised to sustain us by His grace through every difficult situation (Psalm 55:22; 2 Corinthians 12:9). Finally, He would teach us that He is working in all things for our good to us who love Him and are called in accordance to His purpose (Romans 8:28). He reveals through His Son in John 13:7, "What I do now you do not understand, but you will understand hereafter." He is Sovereign and we are thankful He has kept Mary from suffering further upon this earth. His love was made manifest to draw us closer to Him as He met our every single need through Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:19).

God would then proceed to provide for all our financial needs to meet Mary's hospital and funeral bills. We not only were in shock but God would bring us into a midst a number of people who had lost loved ones. He granted to us an opportunity to share with that community of people how God had shown Himself faithful even as He says in His word in 1 Thessalonians 5:24, "Faithful is He that calleth you, He also will do it." About six weeks following Mary's passing we were contacted by a Baptist Church in IL. Over the course of the next three months, God would set into motion to bring the church and our family together. He opened the door with an unanimous vote to be called as their pastor and we started at the end of December. The LORD has been blessing our ministry even as we had sought to put Him first in our lives and orient our priorities unto His Own.

In February of 2002, when my dad's health worsened because of a stroke followed by a heart attack, the church granted us a month's leave and allowed me to return to India to visit my parents. My dad had lost over 60 pounds and was down to a meagre 100 pounds. We made our trip at the end of March 2002 and it lasted for four weeks. Trena and Rachel accompanied me on this trip. We were able to share the gospel with my dad and he has started reading the Bible. It is our prayer that God would open his blinded eyes to the glorious Gospel of His Son, our LORD Jesus Christ. Since our return, God has been doing extra ordinary things at Paxton. The church celebrated its 50th anniversary in 2002 and we are thankful to the LORD for being in the midst of it. We saw God at work at First Baptist Church to conform it to His will and to the image of His Son that He may be glorified all in all through her. During our ministry in this place, the LORD allowed us to see over 50 individuals start reading through the Bible on a yearly basis. There is incredible power to the reading of His Word alone and much more if we obey it (Revelation 1:3).

In May 2005, the LORD blessed our home with a young boy, who we named Joseph Naveen, and to our surprise the LORD added unto our family a fourth one 15 months later in the form of Hannah Sunita in August 2006. In July of 2005, my mother passed with a massive cardiac arrest and 13 months later my father passed in August 2006, 13 months to the date. My father passed 3 days after Hannah was born.

In September of 2006, the LORD moved us from Paxton, IL to Adams Run, SC in the boonies of the Charleston county. We have seen His hand move in a way like never before since April 2008 at Hopewell Baptist Church which is where we are presently at.

These are only a few instances that have been written down, and God will add many such chapters in the days to come.

May the LORD bless you and keep you steadfast in the days to come as you look unto the Author and Perfecter of our Faith even the LORD Jesus Christ to whom be the glory forever and ever (Hebrews 12:1-2). Amen!!!!!!

To the Reader:

Maybe you have not been confronted with the gospel of the blessed LORD Jesus Christ in this manner before. You may be asking what do I do now? Do not be concerned, the Bible gives us clear direction how you can know Christ and have eternal life by believing on His Name.

The first stage is to Acknowledge Your Need. First, Agree with God that you have sinned, for the Bible clearly tells us in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” You may wonder what sin is. Ask yourself this question, “Have I ever told a lie?” What does that make you? A Liar!!! “Have I ever stolen anything (value is not important – if I take one dollar from your wallet or $1000, I am still guilty of stealing)? What does that make you? A Thief!!! This one gets me, ‘Jesus said, “If a man looks upon a woman to lust after her, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”’ Have you ever lusted after another woman? So you see, by your own admission, you are a lying, thieving, adulterer at heart!!! So if God judges you by these commandments on the Day of Judgment, “Will you be innocent or guilty?” You know in your heart you will be guilty just as I was.

It also reaffirms to us that we have been created in sin and that our nature is to sin from our birth (Psalm 51:3-5; Ecclesiastes 7:20; Isaiah 48:8). Furthermore, God clearly states the consequences of our sins is death in Romans 6:23, “The wages of sin is death,” which is reiterated in Deuteronomy 24:16; Ezekiel 18:4; 18:20; Jeremiah 31:30 and in James 1:15, where He categorically states, “The soul that sinneth shall die.”

Secondly, Admit to God that you cannot save yourself even as the Bible informs us in Titus 3:5, “Not by works of righteousness which we have done,” or in Ephesians 2:8-9, “Not of works lest any man should boast.” Furthermore our lack of righteousness to suffice the wrath of God is clearly stated in Romans 3:20 and Romans 3:28, “Therefore by the deeds of the law shall no flesh be justified in His sight for by the law is the knowledge of sin.” The Bible makes it abundantly clear in Romans 7:7, “I would not have known sin except through the commandment,” and in Romans 7:13, “by the commandment, sin became exceedingly sinful.”

Thirdly, Accept God’s Provision for you in Jesus Christ as He tells us in a nutshell in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” For God made His Only Son, Jesus Christ, our atoning sacrifice as stated in 2 Corinthians 5:21, “God made Him to be sin for us Who knew no sin so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God,” and in John 1:29, “Behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the world.” In other words, Jesus took your punishment and my punishment for sin paid our penalty on the cross.

God could not send an animal to take our place or to die in our place because He tells us in Hebrews 10:4, “For the blood of bulls and goats does not take away sin.” He could not send another human being to take our place since he would be born with that same wretchedness that we are born with (Genesis 6:5; 8:21; Isaiah 48:8) where the propensity of the intention of the thoughts of our hearts is evil continually. He would be guilty of his own sin much less for someone else. He could not send an angel to take our place because He tells us in Job 4:18, “Behold He puts no trust in His servants, His angels He charges with folly (error).”

So there was nothing found in creation that could take our place. So He look within Himself to send forth His Only Begotten Son, the One who knew no sin (Hebrews 4:15; 1 Peter 2:21) to become sin for us. So Jesus was born of a virgin (Isaiah 7:14; Matthew 1:21, 23), lived a perfect sinless life (cf. John 8:29; 1 John 3:5) and so was able to take our place on the cross. So He confesses to being the liar, while in fact we are the liars. He confesses to being the thief, while in face we are the thieves. He confesses to being the adulterer, while in fact we are the adulterers. He owns these sins (yours and mine) as His own and faces the wrath of God (John 3:36; Romans 1:18; 2:5) which was against us upon Himself on the cross and dies in our place.

His death on the cross brings reconciliation for us with the Father (Romans 5:6, 8-9) and His resurrection imparts to us life (Romans 5:10) to those who would turn from their sin in repentance and believe in His finished work on the cross (John 19:30) and you will pass from death to life (John 5:24). All you need to do is turn from your sin once and for all in repentance towards the LORD Jesus Christ. The Bible says in Proverbs 28:13, “Whosoever covers up his sins shall not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”

Remember a time when you disobeyed your parents, and when your parents realized, they disciplined you by either spanking you or by removing certain privileges or by grounding you. As you sat in the room crying, you came to the realization what you did was wrong and that you had broken the heart of your parents, “What did you go and tell your parents?” Often, these words with tears in your eyes you said, “Mom & Dad, I am sorry for what I have done, and I will not do it again.” This is what the Bible calls repentance. When you come before God in brokenness and in repentance, God will hear you and forgive you for the sake of Christ upon Whom you have trusted. God requires that brokenness as He tells us through David in Psalm 51:17, “Sacrifices and burnt offering You have not desired or else I would have given it. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite (repentant) heart O God You will not despise.”

The second stage of your need is to Become His Child. It is really not that complicated. First, Believe in the LORD Jesus to save you as He states in Acts 16:31, “Believe on the LORD Jesus Christ and you will be saved and your house.” He has given you a simple proposition in Romans 10:9, “That if you confess with your mouth Jesus as LORD and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, then you will be saved.” The Bible further tells us in John 1:12, “As many as believed on His Name, to them gave He the right to become children of God.” The moment you surrender to the LORDSHIP of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit will come and take up residence in your life (John 14:16; Luke 24:49; Acts 2:38-39).

Secondly after you have turned in repentance and believed in the saving work of the LORD Jesus Christ, you need to follow the LORD in obedience to Him in Baptism by immersion. Jesus commanded us in Matthew 28:19, “Go therefore, and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.”

Thirdly, you need to start living a life that brings glory and honor to the LORD Jesus Christ. You cannot do this in your own strength, but on the strength the LORD Jesus provides you on a daily basis, for the Bible states in Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” For Jesus said in John 15:5, “For without Me, you can do nothing.” You gain strength as you read the Bible daily (1 John 2:14) to get spiritual nourishment even as God reveals Himself through His unchanging, eternal Word. Read four (4) chapters a day, (one at breakfast, one at lunch, one at supper and one chapter before bedtime). If you do this faithfully starting from the first book of the Bible, which is Genesis, you would have finished reading through the Bible in 10 months. When you get done, start all over again and keep doing this till the day He calls you home.

Also learn to Bring your requests and burdens to the LORD on a daily basis meaning pray (Colossians 4:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:17). You learn to pray by praying and don’t give up (Luke 18:1). Prayer is nothing but talking with God. I did not say, “talking to, but talking with.” You listen to God as He speaks to you through His Holy Word. Then you need to find a church where you join fellow believers to worship and to fellowship with one another (Hebrews 10:25). This mean you need to find a local church where the Bible is preached and taught.

Last but not the least, you need to Bear witness to others. In other words, you need to tell others about Jesus Christ and what He alone has done (Mark 5:19). Keep the focus on Jesus and not upon your own self since Jesus commanded you to be a witness for Him (John 15:27; Acts 1:8).

If you do know Him as your Lord and Savior, let this encourage your heart, and please continue to bear witness to the All-Glorious Name Lord Jesus and may your life continue to be blessed by the Lord God Almighty. Understand the passion that the Lord has for His people, and wholeheartedly accept that which He lays upon your heart. For you see, He is the One who cares for you and asks that you cast all your burdens and anxieties upon Him (1 Peter 5:7).

Praise the Lord, for He alone is Worthy. May the Lord uphold you in His Grace and keep you from stumbling until He comes again!!!

Amen and Amen and Amen

Bro. Bhogi Santha Ram Testimony

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 22:11:00 +0530

Bro. Bhogi Santha Ram

Address : D. No. : 38-31-85, Green Gardens, Marripalem, Visakhapatnam - 530018, Andhra Pradesh, India. Phone : (0) 9849331923

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