Gossip Girl TS

Breaking Dawn (Zalueta): La Greta’s Triumph!

2011-12-03T09:14:00.000-08:00

The marital dialogue started a few days ago but it was only on that breezy yet warm Sunday morning that Mr. & Mrs. Stone finally agreed on the best conclusion to their amazing narrative of two years.

La Greta’s room looked rather solemn on that particular day despite its colorful décor of various mementos collected by her and her husband from their travels around the world. Neither the neatly piled collection of books nor the colorful packs of Tipco & Squeeze Orange Juices could reduce the solemnity of the room. The somber mood was further emphasized by the view of the always poised La Greta standing by the window with eyes transfixed to the receding water of Chao Phraya River from the distance. Mr Stone meanwhile was at the bed, sitting there nervously, perhaps awaiting La Greta to speak. On a normal day like this, Mr & Mrs Stone would have been in each other arms, lying on bed talking about the future, a truly romantic sight that could send Rexona Gomorra into a fit of rage.

La Greta couldn’t help but see herself from the subsiding water. It’s the metaphor for her struggle and current disposition, for what she has gone through since the dialogue of goodbye has started. Like the river overwhelmed with floodwater hence swelling like never before, La Greta was overwhelmed with pain at first that her feelings got the best of her. She cried and questioned her worth. However, a few days more of talking, slowly but surely, La Greta, independent and mature woman she is, was able to understand and accept the reality. That true love allows you to set someone free however you still love to keep that person.

The goodbye episode must have been really seamless that La Greta’s friends never noticed the difference on both. On that particular Sunday noon, both La Greta and ex husband came and join the picnic at the park organized by the mother of perpetual drama, La Dehada, without any trace of trouble from their faces & actions. This prompted Juliana Corona-Horn to keep on repeating how relaxed Mr. Stone was unlike before. Undeniably, this made Mr. Stone uneasy as he thought, La Greta had already divulged the news and that Juliana was being sarcastic to him. He opted feeding the monitor lizards as a result.

“I never wanted to spoil the day!” La Greta said when asked why she never shared the news during the picnic. I couldn’t help but admire her class and level of maturity.

Breaking up is certainly not the most pleasant situation to be in, but, in La Greta’s case, since the dialogue was between two mature adults who were fully aware of their wins and losses over the ending they were headed to, the conclusion arrived at was bittersweet yet friendly. Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher, there you have the picture!

Indeed, the former power couple ended their story on a very good note. A very good precedent for those who are next in line. Miss Rexona Gomorra, please don’t look at me or Martina Negra or Lady B!

Jezabel Fakasta and Carlota de la Renta: The Rise of Natasha Ladies!

2011-09-06T21:39:00.000-07:00

I am finally over the gossip-writing block which bugged me down for a month or so and which explains the dearth of written gossips about our fabulous office gals. Alluding to some office gals’ preoccupations recently, I would like to confirm that I had not been in a hiatus or hibernation mode. Just kidding Carlota and La Gomorra!

Perhaps the grandest way to to make a comeback to the gossip scene is the formal introduction of two new popular office gals whose unparalleled performances whether in kneeling, squatting, splitting or simply lying to receive the graces of gods have been consistently overshadowing the lascivious legacies of their predecessors especially that of Juliana Urdaneta Montemayor and Rexona Gomorra. The new It gals subscribe to their famous mantra: Reach for your QUOTA!

Jezabel Fakasta and Carlota de La Renta are echoing the same philosophy, vision and mission of Natasha ladies, famous for their determination in reaching their quotas. They go out from their houses very early in the morning with loads of Natasha goods on their heads, knocking every door on the street, convincing customers with their sales talk, offering discounts and the like. Our Natasha gals are no different when translating the Natasha philosophy in the man hunting business.

“A clear quota motivates you to strive further… it gives you a clear direction!” Jezabel hurriedly explained as she was taking a short break from her kneeling activity at a dark room at Ratchada. It’s her 3rd for the day and she’s a bit behind her quota.

“A quota is a quota!” Carlota butted in as she moved quickly to the next guy unzipping her fly. It’s her 4th for the day and she was determined to increase her quota further.

Not far from the two gals was Juliana Montemayor who couldn’t help but laugh as she listened to her friends gasping, moaning and chanting like there’s no tomorrow.

After their short stint in Ratchada, the gals moved hurriedly to Saunamania where they immediately reached their quotas in 30 minutes. They capped their eventful night with a live show viewing in Tawan, Juliana’s former hang-out!

Leaving the gals’ quota philosophy, let’s dig into their colorful biodata supplied by jobstreet.

Carlota de la Renta is a former socialite in Burma, having worked for F Burma for a decade. She earned the moniker Miss Bee of Burma owing to her reputation of sucking nectar from one flower to another. A product of Lithuanian and Filipina Marriage, Carlota de la Renta is fluent in Spanish, Burmese, Thai & Filipino. Currently, she works as a marketing executive for an advertising firm in the city of Fallen Angels. With her amazing portfolio, we can say that Carlota is not Most People.

At the other end of the spectrum, there is Jezabel Fakasta, a city gal with a humble origin. She’s named after a famous biblical character, the evil queen, Jezabel. Her last name meanwhile speaks of her mission in life. Jezabel is not a mermaid. She’s a maid. A fashion maid to be exact. A lot of gals would kill for her job owing to the countless perks that go with it. There is the opportunity to travel to the fashion capitals of the world attending fashion shows, jewelry exhibitions and brushing your elbow with the who’s who in fashion. Plus, there are the free goods from the fittings and photo shoots. If you have seen Jezabel’s LV bag, you would know what I am talking about.

Jezabel and Carlota, two gals who believe in a Quota! Let’s welcome them to the gossip land!

Why Lady V's Bday Bash a Success Despite the Rain?

2011-07-07T02:41:00.000-07:00

Downpour and traffic jam didn’t stop Lady V’s friends from traveling all the way to Pridi 41 for her pre-birthday bash. The birthday gal who chose to don a bright red Valentino dress for the occasion was feeling anxious earlier as none of her guests made it to the call in time. An important realization suddenly struck her which hopefully will put an end to her own issue of perennial tardiness. For the first time in her City of Fallen Angels life, Lady V was not late. Let me repeat, Lady V was not late. In fact here she was, reflecting on the golden rule and waiting anxiously for late people. Rexona Gomorra, a girl known for her punctuality developed via her regular meetings with foreigners, didn’t miss the opportunity to offer her side comments perhaps to reinforce the lesson of the night.

“So now you know how it feels being on the waiting side.” She told Lady V before posing fiercely beside the dishes then asked me to take her photo.

Two hours later, they were all there, all people who matter to Lady V’s life. Andrea Delos Santos, the bed supperclub Dj and her friends, Sameraa Paparazzi & her local tote, Khun Chumpoo were the first to arrive. The feline-eyed (achieved through an aquamarine contact lenses & Cleopatra inspired eyeliner… there’s the secret) glamazon Sushmita Sen arrived with her handsome boyfriend, Vashi Vishnu. Sexier than ever, Sushmita Pakasta Sen attributed her slimmer figure to working out and reduced carbs intake. Meanwhile, Juliana Montemayor & her delegation arrived a bit later after their driver brought them to the wrong place initially. They finally managed to arrive 30 minutes later. Arriving in style, prolific designer slash entrepreneur Donna Sommers of Cambodge was wearing an earthy colored jumpsuit elegantly cut in the waist through a fabulous belt. She paired her dress with an amazing pair of Doc Martens black patent boots which was just purchased a few hours earlier from Siam Paragon. They were meant to add masculinity to her dress she explained the boots combination. Juliana Yutenda Montemayor arrived in her colorful braces and surprisingly slimmer frame. Thanks to her body hugging purple shirt and drapey, double-layered white pants which effortlessly accented her main asset. She would later bring back the lost carbs when she ate large portions of rice dishes to Carlota de La Renta’s delight. Carlota who was new in the scene didn’t waste the time to impress her new acquaintances through her spontaneous reporting of current events with comical twists owing to her choice of words and marketing-laden language. Certainly, not most people, she held her own as she effortlessly blended to the crowd, distributing her cards on the side to prospective talents and delighting her new legion of fans owing to her undeniable beauty & congeniality. To say that Carlota de La Renta was the new IT gal that night was widely agreed upon by everyone in silence as the night was after all dedicated to Lady V. Her debut to the elite circle of office gals was a success to say the least.

Martina Negra arrived an hour before the celebration ended. As expected she was also the first to leave. Rexona Gomorra who was the life of the party owing to her innocent questions about life’s ironies didn’t waste time to introduce herself and flirt clandestinely through her usual hypnotizing stare to the farangs in attendance. The alluring Mona Lisa Dakila-Teriyaki-Gibson-Suharto-Dodding was also there with her new husband Mr. Dodding. The sudden shift from Indonesian flavor to English seemed to work well for the beautiful lady.

Finally, there was Filipa Jones and boyfriend of the moment, Crisologo Ibarra de Francia. The gal was undeniably sexier than ever with her slimmer frame. Rexona Gomorra would stare at her every now and then to do some quick measurements. Convinced that Filipa is now way thinner the gal immediately stopped finishing her plate of Paella and had some grapes instead.

Lest I forget, kuyas of all office gals, kuya John had his final walk as he bade good bye to the city of Fallen Angels. He was not leaving of course without taking enough shots of us through his amazing camera!

While it was planned hurriedly, Lady V’s party was a celebration to be reckoned with. With everyone’s attendance except for La Greta who was busy filming “Bombahan sa Burma” with her husband in the land of thousand Pagodas and the power couple Lady B and Emelda Poppin who are now permanent residents of the lego land, the event was truly a success!

Walking Out: The Martina Negra Way

2011-06-30T01:36:00.000-07:00

Territoriality in the corporate world is a sensitive issue especially among beautiful and competent office gals. The reason is obvious. Everyone is looking forward to climbing the corporate ladder with their 9 inches Louboutin heels. It’s thus advised that you mark and own your corporate area of responsibility as indicated by your expertise to cement your value in the company. If not some cunning gals will do everything in their power to claim your areas as theirs thereby increasing their market value in the company. Faced with this situation submissive office gals just go with the flow then backstab the culprit later on. The gutsy ones will boldly assert their rights and demand job protection from the management. And there are the fierce ones who do nothing but just WALK away from their posts, wait for the management to fix the problem before they report back to work! They are indispensable assets of the company and they very well know that!

Best friends forever (at least from the outside) Martina Negra and Rexona Gomorra are currently at loggers head after the former fiercely walked out from the Kingdom of Babyllonia when the latter crossed the border line for the nth time.

“It’s definitely not the first time!” said the seemingly pissed off La Negra while boarding the sky train after leaving her office hurriedly.

“I told her to start doing the leg work of the services so she will know the consequence of misinforming a client” she managed to say before the train door closed, leaving the baffled Lady V who just arrived from the grocery store (in the middle of a normal working day). The two were surprised to bumped into each other at the station.

At lunch time, Rexona Gomorra was extolling the virtues of competence and responsibility to Maria Juana De Vega, the new gal from Las Islas.

“I totally hate incompetence. No to incompetence!” she said shaking her head. I thought it was her way of initiating the new recruit but her musing was in fact an offshoot of the event which took place prior to the lunch break.

“Martina and I had a quarrel” she eventually said half-jokingly which unfortunately I didn’t entertain as she seemed not very serious. A wrong move I would regret later on especially when La De Hada began spilling the beans at the office.

“But, you always do” Maria Juana who is apparently a quick learner butted in.

Rexona Gomorra just laughed and finished her fried dilis.

When Lady V calls it a day!

2011-05-29T03:39:00.000-07:00

Lady V was finishing a stick of Hope while reading a draft of letter when she caught a glimpse of her doctor arriving at the Mission hospital’s spacious corridor. She hurriedly finished the stick, threw the butt into the small bin under the stretcher, put chewing gum in her mouth and pretended to be totally consumed with the letter she’s reading. The gal was at this apparent state of activity (or inactivity) when the doctor entered the big room. She pretended to be surprised and promptly greeted the doctor with her most graceful wai and sweetest smile.

“You know it’s bad for you!” the doctor started the conversation after returning her patient’s greetings as she proceeded to arrange the makeshift room intended for patients’ follow-up treatments. In Lady V’s case, she was there for her daily check up and ritual of wound cleansing, the aftermath of her successful operation a week before.

“It’s like using your wound as an ashtray “she continued and as if Lady V lacked the necessary imagination to connect wound and ashtray semantically, the doctor demonstrated her point by precisely mimicking a smoker’s action of putting a stick of cigarette in her mouth then gently shaking it off letting the ashes fall but instead of an imagined ashtray on a table the doctor reached for her buttocks to shake the stick there obviously as a reference to Lady V’s place of wound.

Lady V certainly didn’t expect such an opening remark and the slightly graphic demonstration that it took her a minute or two to react. She was absolutely speechless.

“I am sorry!” she eventually said.

“It’s your body, your wound. It’s up to you to decide when you want your normal body back.” The doctor snapped while checking the wound for any healing progress. She reiterated the freshness and seriousness of the wound. Lady V couldn’t help but to be continuously startled by her doctor’s unusual act of belligerence.

“One thing is for sure though, smoking doesn’t help it in the healing process.” The doctor went on. Afterwards she pressed the button from the bed’s post giving signal to the nurse to come in to do the actual wound cleansing. Then she left and worked the amazing corridor all by herself. Lady V was left dumbfounded as she heard the sound of the doctor’s high heeled shoes slapping the floor fiercely. Things suddenly became blurry and as if it was the right thing to do to redeem herself, Lady V reached for her bag, took the half-empty pack of Hope and the lighter laden with prints of naked gals all over it and looked at them for the last time.

“I definitely want my butt back!” lady V murmured before throwing the stuff to the bin.

“You definitely have your butt back ka!” the comely nurse who just entered the makeshift room and who apparently heard Lady V’s soliloquy answered jokingly.

“We just have to clean it daily na ka!” she continued smiling while preparing the solution for washing the patient’s wound. Lady V who was slightly mortified over the unexpected eavesdropper composed herself.

“Ka!” she said to herself and let the nurse inspect and clean her wounds.

The following Monday Lady V confidently reported back to work. She’s consumed with mixed feelings of anxiety and euphoria. As the day progressed the former began to take over Lady V’s being until the moment of truth arrived. First she took a deep breath, took the freshly printed revised letter, excused herself from her excited colleagues and went to queen D's office. She stood there for a bit specifically acknowledging Rexona and Darria's presence and eventually submitted the letter she was reading back at the hospital.

Queen D couldn’t help but smile in disbelief. She thought she was being bluffed again by an employee who’s been asking for bonus diligently and which she’s consistently ignored. But when she looked at Lady V’s eyes and all she could see was anger and determination to quit, she knew that was it.

“Everyone is replaceable” she sighed as she typed fast at gtalk to order Darria Sodomma, her most trusted assistant, to look for Lady V’s replacement.

All such events took place and well chronicled by who else but the gifted Rexona Gomorra who was seated behind the queen and whose 20-20 vision and powerful aural senses accurately captured everything that was going on.

The gal immediately gtalked Martina Negra for heads up and just like that the whole Kingdom of Babyllonia including the ones at Las Islas knew of Lady V’s impending departure. Plans for Lady V’s grand exit was immediately laid out via Sushmita’s initiative and all were but in awe in anticipation for lady v’s emancipation!

Lady V’s bold move the last day apparently contributed to her current positive aura. So positive that she was even invited to join the Shangrila meet & greet with Las Islas’ presidentcia, PNoy.

“I definitely feel lighter these days!” she says enthusiastically but immediately add “emotionally speaking” to qualify her statement before the weight conscious Rexona Gomorra starts rolling her eyes.

Lady V is set to leave the Kingdom of Babyllonia on June 10. While queen D continuously overwhelms her with tons of works and assignments she maintains positive outlook. She's leaving anyway in a week or two.

Back at the hospital, Lady V's doctor was spotted smoking a stick of Hope freshly retrieved from the bin.

The Kaleidoscopic Life of Ms. Juliana Montemayor

2011-05-26T03:59:00.000-07:00

Juliana Montemayor's would-be outfit if she was invited at the royal wedding

After her successful South East Asian sojourn last month which culminated in her long overdue homecoming (after a decade of being away from home), Miss Juliana Urdaneta Montemayor finally returned to the city of fallen angels, tanned to perfection, a bit heavier than usual, feeling alienated and full of angst. The latter concerned most of her friends who waited patiently for her return to the city.

“I never felt at home during my entire stay in Las Islas…No excitement as I got off the plane and strolled down the small, dilapidated airport” she started venting her angst during Rexona Gomorra’s post-bday dinner which was especially organized in her honor. Arriving in style, the gal was wearing a Donna Sommers Fall/Winter Collection, a black sleeveless top accented with generously flowing white drapes in front paired with sleek, soft black trousers that can be easily transformed into stylish shorts through a precise knot tying technique. A former Girl Scout platoon leader as she was, Juliana obviously executed the shorts version of the pants perfectly through monkey’s fist knots. The dress effortlessly highlighted Juliana’s sun kissed skin and it was also the perfect outfit for the once in a blue moon chilly weather in the city of Angels.

The muse & the designer

Earlier at Facebook, the gal lashed out at Las Islas immigration officers for imposing 12K penalty fees on her because of her failure to obtain the proper permits to leave the country and work abroad. Surprisingly, the gal decided to just settle the fees without the usual protestations. Apparently her recent Bali vacation brought back her sense of balance and composure so instead of raising her voice and question the proceeds of the fees, she calmly took the receipt, paid the fees and smiled at the cashier. “There is facebook to turn into” she consoled herself.

“Las Islas is certainly not home to me anymore…nor the city of Fallen Angels…but I definitely feel better here. This city has taught me the meaning of freedom and to be flamboyant” she reiterated her point while handing the bottle of red wine to La Gomorra. It was a gift of appreciation from the Chef whom she serviced earlier that day but she found it fitting bringing the bottle to Rexona Gomorra to help her restore her depleted wine collection.

“If Las Islas is not home nor Bangkok…where is home? Or does it mean you are homeless?” the tipsy La Gomorra was testing Juliana’s coherence.

“I always have to look forward…look for the better!” Juliana answered meaningfully.

Those nipples and amazing gams mesmerized the locals of Chaam during the gal's recent visit of the town

The following weekend, Juliana was seen aboard a bus bound for the Kingdom of Cambodge. Her facebook status revealed that she will be working as an apprentice for the divine Donna Summers, Cambodge’s renowned fashion designer. Her facebook posts the following days however, showed that she was actually there to indulge in the local’s gastronomy, night life and exotic boys. Work only began the following week when she was commissioned to style one of the shoots. While the project was a success, she returned the following weekend as the ladies in the city petitioned her return to resume her duties as the most in-demand entertainer in town. The gal arrived in the city one fateful Sunday phoneless. She lost her phone in Cambodge after hallucinations at the pool brought by high fever. She immediately replaced her phone but lost it in the taxi. She bought a new one afterwards which she planned replacing it with BB torch the soonest.

The lady in her prime..chos!

As soon as she got to the city, the lady was immediately subjected to emotional torment brought about by the persistent temptation of forbidden love. Would she completely severe her ties with the chef after realizing that the latter doesn’t meet her emotional and psychological standards? The physical had always been amazing teetering to perilous at times when the inevitable issue of bare backing and drugs come to the picture. The lady made up her mind after a few days after consulting with La Greta who reinforced the advice of Ms Donna Summers. She began her journey of slowly disentangling herself from the web of desire she is currently in. Corollary to this, the gal began her provocative no-meat diet!

Meeting Juliana recently, the gal was still obviously on her journey towards emotional emancipation. She still mentions the chef once and a while and when the thought of him proves to be too much to bear, she diverts the conversation to her dear Antonia, her biggest love in the city of fallen angels.

“You can’t compare the chef to A…the latter is at the pedestal.” She quipped when Rexona nagged her about the difference between the two men in her life.

au naturelle, the gal's favorite state of being!

True enough, Antonia came to fetch Juliana that night to bring her to his newly renovated house. As Juliana proclaimed his arrival, lush hairs began sprouting uncontrollably on the gal’s fierce skin head leaving Rexona Gomorra and Martina Negra green with envy. She collected her belongings, bade goodbye and hurriedly aimed for the door to meet he r beloved Antonia.

Highlights of Rexona Gomorra's 24th Bday: What did you miss?

2011-04-05T21:51:00.000-07:00

One of La Gomorra's many fabulous cakes

The much publicized birthday bash of Ms. Rexona Gomorra finally took place last Thursday at her Predeesipseeyaeksee mansion amid cheers and felicitations from her friends, colleagues, special some ones and strangers who came to join the celebration.

The 24-year old athletic gal who looked rather formal in her 24-Club Paragon purchased office attire which she had been wearing for the last 24 hours and which highlighted her enviable 24 inches waistline achieved through a 24-time session with an elite fitness trainer at True Fitness and a 24-time visit to California’s dry sauna managed to invite 24 beautiful gals and boys to partake in the 24 highlights of her 24th birthday on the 24th of March 2011.

For the sake of those who were not able to attend the party, I am presenting to you the 24 amazing things which you missed during La Gomorra’s big day.

The bday gal was very happy with her new toy from her fellow office gals

Madame Rexona Gomorra, the birthday celebrator herself. Being the ultimate reason for the gathering, it’s just fitting to acknowledge La Gomorra’s effort to organize the party through the assistance of La Negra and La De Hada. Her natal day was also the right moment to recognize the gal’s contribution in upholding beauty, friendship, sportsmanship and camaraderie in everything she does whether in her pursuit for Mr. Right or in her dealing with her underprivileged fellow office gals. The always financially stable but emotionally disturbed gal is known for her magnanimity and benevolence when it comes to assisting her fellow office gals. She is the secular and modern equivalent of Mother of Perpetual Help to say the least. La Negra, La Dehada and La Sodomma can attest to the gal’s generosity.

The gal's amazing collection of wine

24 bottles of Red Wine. If you weren’t wowed over Rexona’s extensive red wine collection especially purchased for her birthday property, you probably are not a Bacchus devotee. Those who share La Gomorra’s passion for wine would surely have appreciated the experience of being able to practically visit and taste the world’s vineyards by tasting a bottle or two of the gal’s amazing wine collection.

Lechon

Lechon. One of the undeniable standouts on the table was the gargantuan roasted pig prepared together by top rival lechon producers in Las Islas, Mila’s and Lydia’s Lechon which was commissioned by Komple was flown all the way from Las Islas via FedEx cargo on the day of the party. The two prominent Lechon Makers sent two of their staff to oversee the proper carving and chopping of the delicious chow!

Gorgeous gals from the Kingdom of Babyllonia

The Kingdom of Babyllonia delegation. The usually ethnocentric employees of Kingdom of Babyllonia were first to arrive to grace the occasion. There were a lot of new faces but those who stood out were Ms. Frog, Ms. Knay, Ms. Pui, Ms. Pen, Ms. Oh and many more.

Mr. & Mrs. Stone. The power couple didn’t arrive together as Mr. Stone had an earlier appointment with his friends. La Greta had a time for herself for a while socializing and entertaining the other guests. A tipsy Mr. Stone would arrive later to face La Greta and La Gomorra.

La Greta Stone & Sushmita Sen

Mr. & Mrs Stone and La Gomorra’s tête-à-tête. The legitimization of La Greta’s status as the present and the legal spouse was sealed. The meeting was truly a sight to behold as Mr. Stone jokingly asked the birthday gal some on the spot questions in front of Mrs. Stone who remained graceful and played it cool. La Greta and La Gomorra couldn’t help but laughed their hearts out for the spontaneous questions about the past which both gals had been dodging to answer. At the end of the meeting, all parties were happy to establish their formal connection.

Sushmita Sen. The Indian beauty was stunning in her Emilio Pucci nude dress which she resourcefully accessorized with Pratunam purchased silver chains. As she always does in every party she attends, the gal was on hands with maintaining cleanliness and peace at the party area. She went as far as washing the bed sheet of La Gomorra when a glass of wine was spilled over it.

Blue Vibrator. While the size (8”) is rather small for La Gomorra, she’s happy nonetheless to have such an alternative to the real thing. The kinky toy was an unexpected gift from her fellow office gals who had a hard time deciding what to give to a gal who has everything (except having a permanent boy toy). That’s the keyword hence, the Amazon-purchased sex toy.

Ms. Mona Lisa Dakila, Meal Gibson & Company. While Mona arrived at the party with gal pal Andrea Delos Santos instead of her former spouse, Meal Gibson, there remained the excitement to see the two gals reuniting in the city of fallen angels. Ironically, Meal arrived with another guy from Las Islas and they looked rather sweet. Both gals played it cool throughout the party. It’s safe to say that Mona and Meal are officially over the relationship based on their actions.

A beautifully wrapped gift from the landlady, Khun Ngor. It's a brown robe.

Juliana Montemayor’s phone call from Las Islas. The seemingly intoxicated, party gal tried to connect via phone from Malate, Manila to extend her greetings to La Gomorra. The phone patch which lasted for an hour was punctuated with the usual Juliana’s antics.

Listing all the highlights of the birthday bash proves to be a bit time and space consuming so I stop here and will just discuss it with you in person. The thing is everyone had a good time at the party and the birthday gal was happy for the time and effort we spent to attend the event.

Meanwhile, the ultimate highlight of the gal’s 24th birthday in fact would take place the next days after the party as La Gomorra would embark on a weekend of honeymoon with a young British guy in the flooded areas of the south. How the gal and her man of the week survived the calamity will be the subject of the next post! Let the provocative photo below whet your appetite.

La Gomorra & David at a hotel in Hatyai

The Saga of the Ladies in Waiting

2011-03-22T02:45:00.000-07:00

“Good things come to those who wait” seems to be the proverbial inspiration behind the fortitude of our amazing ladies in waiting.

Three beautiful gals in the persons of Kumander Jeffa, La Greta Stone and Mona Lisa Dakila are currently counting every second that passes as they eagerly await the return of their men. Nervousness and indescribable excitement consume our gals as they wonder about the feeling of being reunited again with their loved ones after such a long time. Will the spark be still there? Those who had kept their chastity belts intact at all times have nothing to worry as they can face their men with clear conscience. Those who played around may have some explanations to do if they can summon the courage to do so. Otherwise, they can always play the role of innocent, faithful gals who preoccupy themselves with cross stitching day and night as they patiently await the return of their husbands. Yes indeed, being a lady in waiting challenges you to be creative!

Let’s go over the couples who have been physically separated all this time but managed to maintain the spark in their own simple ways hoping that when the reunification comes, the relationship becomes stronger.

Mr. & Mrs. Jeffa Bass

The couple bade goodbye during their infamous departure to Desert Land

The mega couple’s mega failure in the desert land brought in some severe offshoots ultimately resulting in the couple’s forced separation. Angela Bass headed back to Las Islas and Jeffa was left to fend for herself in the south of Iran, where she stayed for a month before she could take the flight back to the city of Angels. Ms. Bass attempted to return to the city of fallen angels shortly after the holidays to join her husband but Las Isla’s immigration officers were not kind to her though she had repeatedly invoked humanitarian considerations. But, there is no stopping Angela Bass. Now looking bustier than ever, the now flawless gal is set to come back end of next month to revive her stalled love life, career and her status as the gimmickry queen.

As Angela Bass prepares herself for her trip to the Kingdom of Babyllonia, Jeffa meanwhile is busy preparing their new love nest which if I am not mistaken is the room next to La dehada’s abode. The couple’s excitement for their nearing reunification is very evident at their facebook status messages:

Angela Bass....I myself spent three years in an insane asylum and I never had the obsession of suicide, but I know that each conversation with an ETCHUSERANG FROGLETS, every morning at the time of his visit, made me want to hang myself, realizing that I would not be able to cut his throat.

Jeffa ..... I wish that your were here with me,but were stuck where we are and its so hard,you're so far...this long distance is killing me...

On a final note, the couple’s misadventures in the desert land should serve as a warning among couples out there not to decide and act on impulse. Think twice before you decide as Lady V puts it. Look at Lady B and Emelda Poppin who planned their relocation for a few months. They are now making major waves in Merlion land.

Mr. & Mrs. Lara Stone

Upon learning her husband’s decision to come back to the city of angels earlier than scheduled, La Greta did what a normal devoted housewife would do. She packed her bags and cut short her well-planned holiday to the shock of her friends Juliana Montemayor, Donna Summers and the three lovely San Franciscan ladies, Sarsi Yamashita, Paloma Palparan and Isadora Gaston who were left on the island of the gods and goddesses to finish their one-week holiday.

The lady would have wanted to charter a private jet to fly her to the city of Angels in her hurry, but there were no available jets so she calmed herself and settled with Asian Air. She arrived in the city amid chilly and stormy weather but that didn’t stop her from calling La Vinia Spa for a whole-day treatment appointment the next day. The lady had one goal in mind: She has to look divine when Mr. Stone finally sees her again. After the ugliness and darkness of terrorism and poverty in Pakistan the lady thought that through her divine beauty Mr. Stone’s depleted vigor during his stint in Islamabad be easily replenished. Did I just see Rexona Gomorra roll her eyes to no end? Come on, give Mrs. Stone a break! You have a birthday party to think about.

We believe that La Greta had handled her on-my-own moments very well. For her, Skype is the limit and as the lady didn’t change to MSN or YM till this day, it only means that everything is well. Hence, a fabulous reunion with the amazing Mr. Stone. Their trip to Las Islas in the next days to come in order to scout a church for their 2015 wedding is expected to fortify their relationship further. Ain’t that fabulous? Did I just hear Ms. Gomorra snaps “CHE”?

Mr. & Mrs. Mona Lisa Dakila Teriyaki-Gibson

Who could forget the once heartwarming turned heart wrenching love story of Mr. & Mrs. Gibson? No one as theirs was a relationship history which epitomizes the idea of a good love gone bad. Both gals have moved on but the ghosts of their unsettled past continuously haunt them till this day. With the impending visit of Meal Gibson to the Kingdom of Babyllonia next week, Mona Lisa Dakila is excited to revisit the wonderful past with her erstwhile husband. If everything goes well with their reunion there is a big possibility that Meal Gibson will abandon his studies in Las Islas and move permanently in the city to join Mona. It’s only then that both gals can be considered to have moved on. Needless to say, moving on for some is rekindling dormant feelings suppressed by pride and other circumstances. Just like you, I am rooting for both gals to finally resolve and reconcile their differences towards love and domestic bliss!

The return of Angela Bass, Mr. Stone and Mr Gibson is definitely a momentous event especially for the waiting spouses. We wish them the best of luck and happiness!

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Czarina*:Martina Negra's Ascension to the Throne!

2011-03-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

La Negra at 24, a portrait by her former beau, Darria Sodomma!

When Martina Negra decided to leave La Vova one evening, after the latter dumped the food she worked hard to prepare, her fellow office gals whom she first informed the bad news thought that the gal was just going through yet another phase of her seemingly endless initiation towards martyrdom - the ultimate requirement for one’s anointment to the czarina status. Though this time, the lady seemed more serious in her attempt to escape her destiny if only through her fierce outfit which shocked Lady V and Rexona Gomorra upon seeing her at La Gomorra’s mansion on Pridi 14.

A modern Czarina, the ultimate end of Martina's struggles

Clad in baby blue skimpy shorts which she paired with a see-thru shirt and knee-high, red military boots, the gal could be pictured working the stretch of Narathiwat highway with her two hurriedly packed suitcases in her desperate effort to flee the house after the Russian broke the final straw. But, as there are no taxis when you badly need one, the gal had to walk all the way to Rama 4 to secure a ride. Talk about life's many ironies! A delivery truck would stop at her once and a while and the bearded driver would look lasciviously at the already sweaty gal. Martina Negra, in turn, would swear from the top of her lungs complete with the obscene hand gesture. The truck sped away while the gal followed its billowing smoke. She took a break from the worn out tires piled by the road and started to reflect on her 15th sudden decision to leave. Tears started to fall from her eyes but she had to hold on. It was not the right time to expose her vulnerability with the dark and dangerous road ahead of her. She immediately thought of her always supportive best friend, Rexona Gomorra, whose unique beauty she always belittled. She also thought of La Dehada, the mother of Perpetual Help but the thought of her already crowded room immediately disqualified her from the list of possible temporary shelter providers she could go to. Finally a vacant taxi arrived and took Martina Negra's worries away.

As the taxi trudged the intricacies of Rama IV and Sukhumvit on its way to the Phrakanong area, Martina Negra, meanwhile, was trudging La Gomorra’s vertical soft spot line via a melodramatic phone call. In her rather sobbing tone, the gal narrated the whole story and asked her best friend to share a roof for the night. Boy, this melted Rexona Gomorra’s heart away that she immediately said yes although she knew that having La Negra around would mean sudden soaring of her electric and utility bills and most of all her priceless privacy be compromised. But, her kindness and compassion prevailed above all especially when Martina Negra who looked rather dark and greasy arrived and knocked at the gal's immaculately polished door.

Friends forever...La Negra and La Gomorra

Martina Negra voluntarily narrated her story further after she refused the plate of food she was offered. She apparently lost her appetite. She was trying to explain herself, her not-so-good situation. She obviously needed moral support which we readily offered. And then an SMS arrived which suddenly changed her mood. She excused herself, took a shower and without further ado, took a bottle of Breezer and off she went. The Russian wanted to speak with her at a gay bar in Ratchada according to her explanation. But, she proudly said she refused not the invitation but the idea of meeting in a bar. So they agreed to meet at home. Could you believe that?

Rexona Gomorra, Lady B, myself and the seemingly confused Minorka who wasn’t oriented yet on Martina’s love life swigged the remaining wines from our glasses and wished La Negra good luck and peace of mind.

The gal returned the next day to La Gomorra’s abode and has since then dividing her time between Narathiwat and Pridi. Last week, the Russian was spotted at KHouse at Pridi paying the deposit for Room 602 after Martina succeeded in convincing him. This ironic development of events begs the question:

Is La Negra finally reaching the Czarina status? Are her efforts all these years worth after all?

The gal and her man, sober times

*allusion to Milan Kundera's novel

Rexona Gomorra’s 24th Birthday Bash – Everyone is invited!

2011-03-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

La Gomorra @ 23...a portrait by Darria Sodomma

As part of her preparation for her upcoming 24th birthday or her 210,408th hours on earth to say it in typical La Gomorra-Nano-Speak, Rexona is frequently spotted these days at either California Wow or True Fitness gyms working her ass off towards perfection. Indeed, the lady has enrolled in both fitness centers in her determined efforts to trim down her now voluptuous frame.

Red wine is the name of the game

On the days she’s not at the gym, she’s practically touring around the city looking for decent bottles of red wine. Now a certified oenophile owing to her devotion to Bacchus, the lady is looking forward to having the best 24 bottles of red wine on her 24th birthday this 24th of March 2011. For some, this maybe an ambitious feat but for La Gomorra, there is nothing impossible as long as you put your heart into it. As of this writing the lady has already accumulated 14 bottles of red wine from various vineyards around the world.

The lady in Versace Cigarette @ Koh Samet with Ms. Mona Lisa and Darria Sodomma

3SOME

Apart from the above preoccupations, there is one more thing La Gomorra is very busy with currently. She has been reducing her body into a filling for the right bodies. Starting with a Hamburger couple which left her paralyzed for half a day, the lady then made a side trip to Pattaya the following week to indulge being sandwiched by a Russian couple which left Martina Negra a bit slighted owing to Rexona’s blatant display of superiority when it comes to the Russian meat business. He got back to Bangkok and via grindr he met a Scandinavian couple who really utilized her with their brawny bodies. An ambulance from Bangkok hospital was hired and conveniently parked outside the hotel just in case Rexona will get in trouble. With the apparent trend, the lady couldn’t help but announce at her facebook that ‘3some is trending’.

@ Silom with Herr T, a friend from Germany

Birthday Wish

Rexona’s colorful life is an open book so I am sure everyone knows her ultimate birthday wish. As there’s nothing we can really do to help her achieve this wish perhaps we can just help her pray to the gods to grant her wish. If it entails conducting a Novena or offering some food at the Wat, by all means, let’s do it. For those who are going to Las Islas any time soon, please drop by either at Quiapo or Baclaran to offer a mass dedicated to La Gomorra’s birthday wish and light several candles to boot. Kidding aside, of course the lady’s wish comes true in due time. Our role therefore is to give her company and support for the time being as she waits or better yet works towards the fulfillment of her wish.

@ Lady B's farewell party with La Greta Stone (holding mask), Juliana Montemayor, Lady B

Birthday Celebration

It’s guaranteed that there will be flood of wine on La Gomorra’s birthday. Those who prefer white wine should message the lady in advance so she can accommodate your request in her next wine purchase.

It’s not yet very clear where the birthday bash will be. Once everything is finalized for sure La Gomorra will order her secretary (La Negra) to send the official invites either by facebook or by post.

The infamous Lydia-Mila's lechon

As for food, La Gomorra had pre-ordered a whole roasted pig also known as Lechon since January 2011 for the event. La de Hada and yours truly shall prepare the other dishes. There will be a lot of Las Isla’s chow to be featured at the party so come with an empty stomach.

Who will cum errr come?

All of Rexona’s friends are of course invited. Juliana Montemayor who would be in Las Islas during the event will be updated via facebook especially about all the good things she has been missing.

Mr & Mrs Stone at their annual excursion at the Elephant Trek Park, Phan Nga

Other noted guests will be La Greta Stone and Mr. Stone, two important people who helped Rexona figure out the difference between love and lust. Sadly, Rexona who at that time was still in limbo (the Mr. Professional days) mistook the latter from the former. Now, Rexona knows the difference but she seems to be more inclined with the latter choice as evident from her current 3some preoccupation.

Final Word

Happy birthday Ms. Rexona Gomorra! A young, gorgeous gal like you doesn’t need to hurry. You have all the time in the world to figure out what is best for you. Just a tip, seize the gold before it turns into a cold stone as the next chance to catch one may be light years away. It’s the only way to save you from sighing and having what-a-waste moments in the future.

with Rexona's favorite colleague and the main reason the lady still goes to work till this day

Meanwhile, continue being sweet and kind to your less fortunate sisters! Happy birthday and Mabuhay!

Thoughts on the Man Hunting Business

2011-03-09T02:58:00.000-08:00

“A good man knows a good food when he smells it” – Perish Hilton

Have you ever wondered why Martina Negra is still chasing La Vova and not the other way around? Or why Rexona Gomorra despite her brown swan beauty remains single? Or Vivianna de Hada’s prolific cyber romance never translates into reality? Or why Juliana Montemayor’s quest for the right physical and emotional fit seems endless? In other words, why these amazing, gorgeous gals are not yet taken despite their assiduous desire to get hitched?

“It is not yet time” most of us conveniently say.

Alibis certainly are our most convenient defense mechanisms when struck with these realizations. Instead of reflecting on our actions and learning from our mistakes so we can move forward confidently, we prefer the easy way which is to pile up alibis. We fail to realize that alibis are only temporary escape as the next day we are confronted again with the same sad realizations. Of course, we readily come up with new alibis to suit ourselves and the cycle continues.

Truth to be told, we don’t like to face reality and learn from it or worst we can’t identify reality as most of us are living in limbo.

It’s time to turn the table. Why cry over spilled milk when a guy you fell in love with at Cyberspace never came to visit as he promised many times? Or why not show an iota of sincerity and desire to get hitched when you meet the seemingly ideal guy? In short, why get misled with the thought that the next guy maybe better? And why do you expect commitment when you yourself can’t commit? Indeed, it’s high time we reevaluate ourselves.

While I may be spewing the above didactic remarks as if I were Dr. Phil, at the end of the day, each of us knows what is best for ourselves. Hence, don't believe in my epiphanies completely. You know what is best for you. You just have to do it.

Be yourself and hunt fiercely as fierce as the Danica Magpantay's photo above!

When Kao Man Gai is not Enough: Lady B and Emelda's Invasion of the Merlion Land

2011-03-07T00:58:00.000-08:00

Aside: Below is a tribute to Lady B and her husband, Emelda Poppin who have successfully made their relocation to Merlion Land a few days ago. Their amazing farewell party participated by their friends of various ethnic and cultural backgrounds took place on February 25 @ their fabulous abode. No thanks to the Royal Thai Police who raided the area and failed to recover any evidence of wrong doing from the revelers. Martina Negra who prioritized her lust over her friends was the only gal missing in the event.

Lady B is moving to Merlion land any day this week. Expectedly, she will not go there alone as her forever young, wonderful husband Emelda Poppin will be accompanying her. Is this for good? As far as the sight of their well- vacated unit at My Condo is concerned, it seems to be the case.

As the power couple embarks on their new adventure which entails leaving the City of Angels and the Land of Smiles in general, it’s just fitting to look back and reminisce the joys and pains of being in a relationship in the city of Angels as epitomized by Lady B and Emelda’s heartwarming love story. It is the story that has been motivating Rexona Gomorra, Martina Negra and Juliana Montemayor to continuously believe in the power of love despite their incessant failures. Needless to say, if you see any of these gals in their relentless pursuit for true love, you can’t be wrong to assume that lady B’s love story is the inspiration behind their determined efforts.

How it started?

Lady B came to Thailand to escape from and chase something. She badly needed an escape from her lonely past and Las Islas’ 7100 islands seemed all teeming with memories and reminders that moving on in her home country was impossible. So she packed her bag and found refuge in the city of fallen angels through Maria Victoria Shinawatra who lured her to become an indentured servant at the Kingdom of Babyllonia.

In the city of Angels, Lady B quickly found her voice as a woman in love through Emelda Poppin, a music student slash lover. They met via ZOOSK, an online dating site which showered Lady B a lot of boyfriend potentials. But she got enamored with one guy owing to the guy’s music background, tattoos and hair not necessarily because he was sensible and nice. The guy’s character echoes much of Lady's ex who she was desperately trying to escape from.

The online romance blossomed quickly. So quick that Lady B just woke one day in her bed with the guy by her side. The ritual of Ceiling Cleaning began and the whole Preedee apartment was abuzz with the new ceiling cleaning drive.

Higlights

Among the highlights of the super couple’s 2 year relationship are as follows:

a. Lady B changed job and moved in with her husband in a posh apartment at On Nut. This was really a highlight because Lady B began to live like a real housewife of Phrakanong. She cooks, does the laundry and cleans the house despite her hectic work schedule.

b. The super couple and their friends went to Ko Chang for honeymoon over new year in 2010.

c. Lady B fought for her love when her husband shooed her away many times during that unforgettable 7-11 Kao san road episode. It’s best to ask the granny who saw this episode for the sordid details.

d. Emelda Poppin visited Manila to have a feel of the life he will be living should he and his wife will move to Las Islas in the future. He felt sorry for the country but he appreciated the not-so-pricey alcoholic drinks.

e. Lady B sported gargantuan kiss marks from her lover all over her neck as a sign of her devotion and loyalty to their relationship. The kiss marks would later disappear sooner than the lady expected and temptation began to consume her. Rexona Gomorra would deliberately follow suit by sporting the same giant kiss marks from a German playmate and then showed them excitedly to her next date. The gal eventually lost a prospective boy friend with her acts of indiscretions but seemed destined to be so considering how happy the boy now with her gal.

The Future

The future is never bleak for a smart gal who doesn’t only uses her heart but her head in running the relationship. Needless to say, Lady B is the epitome of a woman on top literally and figuratively speaking. She clearly has mastered the recipe to a balanced relationship paving the way to her current domestic bliss.

Final Word

Lady B has clearly outshined the shadow of her lonely past by simply moving forward. In her new endeavor she’s bound to chase the bucks she truly deserves. With the support of her fabulous husband, I am sure the chase won’t be long.

Good Luck Lady B and Em. We will definitely miss you!

The Daily GrindR

2010-12-19T05:59:00.000-08:00

Rexona's Grindr profile boasts 100 chat invites a day

Maintaining your lead in the most competitive game among office gals doesn't only entail beauty and confidence. It also requires enough bucks. In this digital age, those who can invest in the latest technology are sure to succeed in the man hunting business. Precisely this is the case among our popular office gals who went as far as getting loans, changing jobs, sleeping with their bosses and cash advancing their monthly pensions just to provide themselves with the latest gadgets which hopefully could boost their popularity in the business.

Let's take the case of whoelse but the reigning queen of the manhunting, the now VOLUPTIOUS pensioner, Ms. Rexona Gomorra. Indeed, there's no more PETITE gal as La Gomorra has started embracing her new figure. Undeniably, full figure. Go figure!

Anyway, La Gomorra has everything except that one elusive thing called BOYFRIEND. This thought has been frustrating her so much because she vowed getting hitched at the age of 23 (which was a year ago) but didn't happen and she had vowed anew to get a bf before 2010 ends. She has done everything to realize this promise, exhausting all possible means. Sadly, there remains no clear prospects in the horizon even after tabulating and evaluating the 171 men whom she bedded with this year. She's almost lost hope and contemplated on giving up when her savior arrived in the form of a phone APPLICATION- GRINDR, the second most popular gay friendly invention next to Dildo and gayromeo. The catch is this application is only available for Iphone and Black Berry, two expensive phones which ordinary office gals will not bother buying. La Gomorra being always financially stable was among the first few people in the city of fallen angels who got hold of the new Iphone 4. GRINDR has definitely changed La Gomorra's outlook in life. From a frustrated gal ready to give up to a gal back in her game, prompting her to coin the word TRENDING to highlight the consistency of her conquests, race and size wise, through the help of this new amazing invention. True enough, Grindr has revitalized La Gomorra's appetite for love thought most of the time she only ends with satisfying her lust. But, the efficiency of Grindr in catching boys is enough to ignite the gal's onced vanishing hope.

Martina Negra's profile reflects her pseudo bf's Russian influence

Afraid of being left behind, the bored Russian mistress slash La Vova's governess, Martina Negra bravely loaned a whopping sum from a friend so she would be able to buy an Iphone 4 for herself. At Fay's book the lady justified her ridiculuos action by claiming that the expensive phone was her well-deserved Christmas gift. La Gomorra of course has another explanation.

" You can't blame a lonely pseudo housewife from desiring to be in vogue. It's her only way to amuse herself but at what costs? Overtime for the rest of the year and a Spartan lifestyle for 12 months? Well, it's her choice so I just have to respect it." the gal answered meaningfully when asked about her thoughts over Martina Negra's sudden decision to purchase an Iphone 4.

One of La Gomorra's Grindr conquests

Mona Lisa Dakila's Lady Gaga inspired profile proves to be effective in catching users' attention as evident from the number of chat invites she receives daily.

Henrik's message

Henrik is a Swede guy whom La Gomorra dated for two days

La Vova's message to La Gommora is always hostile and not to forget malgrammar. Many believe that La Negra is behind these hostile messages.

It's too early to tell whether La Gomorra's investment in her daily grind is worth it. At least for now, we see the change in the gal's outlook.

La Vova, Good Bye!

2010-12-04T22:38:00.000-08:00

Sawasdee Khun Pak.

Koon raak La Negra mai?

555

ménage à trois

Those who can decipher the meaning of above jargon can immediately tell Martina Negra's current relationship status. Those who can't has nothing to worry about as La Negra provides clues over here and there concerning her recent conquest. The most telling one is her conistent Fay's book's status messages which her bestfriend La Gomorrah diligently follows for some apparent reasons.

Khun P

... is sick but working and happy :)

November 29 at 10:12am via BlackBerry ·LikeUnlike · Comment

It all started with a baffling stat message which aroused everyones' interests as evident from their overflowing comments. Some commend the gal's proactivity while wanna-be models admire the lady's skill in channeling pain to something worthwhile and stunning. Others urge the gal to get a good rest and stop imbibing Vodka so she may recover immediately.

The next day, the gal's status message was even more baffling considering how playful miss Negra is. It went:

... i Love you.... :)

November 30 at 10:05am via BlackBerry ·LikeUnlike · Comment ·

La Vova

Interestingly, La Vova, La Negra's live in partner, immediately commented saying the guy in question was too young and called La Negra a stupid Monkey. La Negra whose short hair suddenly gained length and volume took the comment gamely saying 'stupid love'. Whatever she meant by that gibberish, she was obviously ecstatic that somehow her pronouncement made an impact to her pseudo boyfriend. However, it was the seemingly irate La Gomorrah's fierce comment that really shocked and consequently, prompted me to do some backtumblings.

"Cut the drama bitch!" her comment reads.

La Negra's indulging comment continued the next day. This time she became more specific naming her accomplice.

...i miss you P! kiss :)

December 1 at 7:25pm via BlackBerry ·LikeUnlike · Comment

To make sure she was really understood by her intended audience, she attempted to write her message in local speak.

... phom rak khun ผมรักคุณ :)

Thursday at 4:28pm ·LikeUnlike · Comment

Desperation and passion couldn't be denied from the gal's latest stat message which went:

... is missing his P so much! :(

Friday at 6:02pm via BlackBerry ·LikeUnlike · Comment

That Martina Negra is currently in love to a certain Khun P is undeniable. A fact the lady confirmed via Gee Talk the other day. This truth prompts us to ask the next logical question: how about La Vova?

"You eventually get tired..." she started our conversation languidly.

"I did try my best to win him but to no avail. I couldn't transform my petite body into a hunky frame overnight, ya know? Well, I tried with his help but it didn't work. I had so much pain with the Chili-fat Burner Creams he bought for me." she continued as tears began dripping from her amazingly beautiful eyes.

Rexona Gomorra in a fierce Versace pose..

"Sorry but I also wanna be loved. I can't be kept as a slave all my life." The gal sobbed uncontrollably.

"Of course, if a guy comes to profess his love and devotion to you and accept regardless of your dirty past, it only means he is IT and only crazy gals would turn him down...and gladly, am not crazy just yet!" she smiled.

Asked to describe the current apple of her eyes, La Negra has this to say:

"He complements who I am so he's the perfect fit, literally and figuratively speaking!" she boldy said.

"Well, it can't be XXL gal?" La Gomorra suddenly reacted and rolled her eyes. She claims that La Negra has the loosest hole ever.

"Shut Up bitch...I am not all surprise when you start hunting local men starting today. I am not all surprise" La Negra finished the conversation.

To La Negra, may you finally find true happiness with the new object of your obsession. To La Gomorra, we won't be surprised at all if one day we will hear you speaking the local speak fluently. Finally, all can we say is Chook Dee na ja! We love you xoxo!

CYST and DISEASE: BEWARE of the NEW PLAGUE!

2010-12-01T00:35:00.000-08:00

Cyst

A growing malignant cyst awaits maturity.

Soon, it explodes and spews animosity.

It spreads uncontrollably

crippling the host’s corpulency.

Here is the deal...

Take the right dosage and reap convalescence

Ignore the scourge and you will be in pain.

Or play the game satisfying the host's whim

at your body and soul's expense

pic source hoboken 411

Disease

The malignant cyst was infact a prognosis

of a long existing, on-going disease

Long been observed, long been told

But the host chose infections prevail aboard.

An the show goes on...

Symptoms persist

The host can't help it

Discerning slave resigns

and leaves

Cyst and Disease

however, you wish to state it,

is but a blunt statement of insecurity,

of a lame attempt to intimidate.

... Seized and Deceased

CONFIRMED: Koh Samet is Office Gals’ Destination for Christmas

2010-11-28T20:52:00.000-08:00

pic source twirp.org

Mark your calendar office gals. December 24, 2010. Please don’t go to work because this year’s Office Gals’ Christmas Ball will be held in the amazing island of Koh Samet. You read it right! Office Gals are gonna be wet and wild this Christmas. Miss Juliana Paradise and La Greta Stone, Koh Samet Gurus, are currently polishing the final schedule and the events to be staged in the island.

If you are keen at joining, feel free to leave a comment. Or if you have any ideas about the food, the drinks and the activities to do, write it in the comment page as well. Please confirm if you can attend so we would know the number of people to attend and the Beach Front Villas to be reserved. Do so as early as possible.

Advance Merry Christmas! And Mabuhay xoxo

P.S.

The fantabulous promoters have posted the below guidelines at the comment section. I am reposting it here for your guidance and more emphasis. Please read it carefully.

To All Concerned:

Based on the initial consultation and with the collaboration with the Ministry of Culture, DJ Station, Telephone and Balcony Bar, basic guidelines have been formulated and more to come.

Themed as the “Samed..Uhaw..Wala ng Gagandah” Christmas Party which will be held on December 24-25 at the tropical Island of Samed.

1. Prepare for a gift. Priced not less than 200 baht. Remember it is better to give than to receive. (wish list…. Accessories from TOPMAN) just post your own wish list :P

2. Prepare for a speech. We need to know what you think about everyone guys. This is the best time to re-evaluate ourselves for a much deeper friendship. And beyond….

3. Suggestions are open now on how will we spend Noche Buena and a place to stay. Not that I want to eat but you know for the welfare of Ms. Gomorra and the OTHERS, they need to be feed.:D Sharing is always an option. I will give my part to Ms. Rexona :D

Remember these informations were just preliminary meaning you can object, suggest (if you have better and probably sensible idea).

We are here to ENJOY… so make the most out of it. Malay natin….Si Ms. Martina next year asa Russia na, si Ms. Rexona next year asa Germany na.. La Gretta might be in Islamabad and GG might be based down under… just fearless forcast… anything can happen :D

The Secretariat

La Greta's Marital Woes; La Gomorra's Delight

2010-11-28T00:13:00.000-08:00

If there was a true housewife in the city of Fallen Angels it would be the ever chic, miss Congeniality, La Greta Van der Hultsen-Stone. The lady who succeeded in fusing fashion with domestic bliss had been the epitome of a great housewife or the dakilang maybahay (in Pinoy speak) until her recent ordeal -she was suddenly abandoned by her vegan husband. In fairness to Mr Stone, he did explain himself and assured La Greta that his decision to leave was not only for his own good but for theirs as a couple. Apparently, Mr Stone received a very good job offer but which entailed him to go living and working in a far away place. Surely, it was a difficult decision for him to make but his love for his wife (let's not forget La Greta's expensive taste!) and their future prevailed above all so he went for it despite the consequence.

"He's working hard so I have something to spend!" La Greta enthused jokingly when she was asked where her husband was during Juliana's bday. The gal then came to the party alone carrying her newly purchased Marc Jacobs' BB Oistrich Bag.

While Mr. Stone's reason for leaving is justified by the wonderful ends of it, his sudden departure from the city remains a sad news not only for La Greta but also to her friends who have grown fond of Mr. Stone. Well, except for one lady who welcomed the news with much excitement making her alive and restless these days. You guess it right! Whoelse but the reigning queen of manhunting, La Rexona Gomorra. The petite lady's renewed interests in Mr Stone have been very obvious recently. She immediately volunteered to foot the bill during a gathering last night when she learned the news. She has also been probing diligently for more details about Mr Stone's whereabouts from La Greta herself noting specifically future plans and terms of relationship for the now physically separated couple. La Gomorra would grin and laugh after La Greta's explanation to everyone's surprise. And stepping her game further she has been spotted reading about Pakistan specifically Islamabad, Mr Stone's new place of work; she concerned herself with topics such as how to get there, proper way of dressing and the best time to visit. As the lady is inherently full of wanderlust, it would be unfair to give color to her interest in visiting the country any time soon. It might just be one of the countries she wishes to visit. What do you think La Bubbles being La Gomorra's mentor?

"I will send her to Pakistan in my behalf" La Greta answered gamely when she was teased about Rexona's sudden plan to visit the country.

"She may want to cross the border and visit Afghanistan as well to spread love among the Talibans" she continued grinning.

What is truly admirable in the current development of events is how La Greta is embracing her new life now that her husband is away. She doesn't necessarily play as other housewives do. She is undeniably in control of the situation although she admits finding it hard adjusting the first days after the sad news sank in. The lady then was wont to spending her time with her hubby after work and at weekends. Now, they only have cyber space to rendezvous.

"Currently, our relationship is at the mercy of Skype." the gal says. "We will see each other again in March. ..hopefully...a few months to wait..." she added and smiled optimistically.

When we saw her that Saturday evening at soi 4, La Greta was looking fresh and gorgeous in her new coif and modelesque frame.

"I was at Siam to treat myself!" she said as she spread her shopping bag on the table. A pair of fabulous Levis Jeans, her new acquisition, slid out of the paper bag. We never expected the news she would share with us afterwards owing to her very positive aura. We thefore surmised that she is doing fine and on the right track despite the current inconvenient marital set-up she's in.

To La Greta, we love you and are always here for you if you need company.

Mona Lisa Dakila's Theory of Exclusivity

2010-11-24T19:56:00.000-08:00

As Mona Lisa Dakila prepares for her departure from the Kingdom of Babyllonia, she is also preparing to divorce her current jowa the one who sent her bouquets of imported flowers for 7 consecutive days during the courting phase of their onced flourishing relationship. Luckily their marriage took place in the Land of Smiles so Ms. Dakila can divorce her husband any time. Calling attorney Revecca Mugabe, Thailand's most prominent divorce lawyer!

I chanced meeting the tipsy Ms Dakila last weekend at soi 4 looking fresh and bubbly as usual. She joined our table and immediately caught our attention through her intriguing smiles and probing questions addressed to La Gomorra and La Negra. Apparently, this was her means to divert the sadness and emptyness she was feeling inside which La Gomorra immediately realized so she broached the topic on Ms Dakila's love life. Pretending to be listening to the conversation, the already drunk Ms Negra, flirted with the guys on the other tables shouting random names and laughing out loud. She would mention her dear Vova once and a while and lamented over their 'undefinable' relationship status along with the flamboyant Russian lifestyle they are living which is costing her an arm and leg.

Ms Negra's issues aside, Ms Dakila demands exclusivity in a relationship and her current guy seems incapable to abide by the gal's simple rule. Exclusivity Rule? La Gomorra frowned then rolled her eyes.

"Didn't you just tell me the other day that you were seeing this guy and that guy and then another guy the next day?" she started the bitching right after she chewed and swallowed a piece of muutot (fried pork), her favorite dish @ Telephone Bar.

"Alex was it." La Gomorra continued and swigged the remaining red wine from her glass.

Martina Negra immediately butted in to Ms Dakila's defense.

"You never know coz you have never been in a relationship before" she said with such a conviction that Rexona was speechless for a while apparently struck by a sudden realization.

"My point is you should only require exclusivity if you practice exclusivity. Exclusivity begets exclusivity! Gets mo?" Rexona retorted as soon as she regained her composure.

Ms Negra who was looking forward to borrowing 3K that night to the always financially stable, La Gomorra, just nodded her head in agreement. She would have wanted to counterargue but the risk of turning a gold into a stone with her words was apparent in the horizon so she just shut up and proposed a toast for Ms Dakila's immediate recovery.

"This is so over!" Miss Dakila said and gulped her Vodka Tonic. She lit a cigarette and puffed a cloud of dark smoke to La Gomorra's direction resulting in the gal's temporary disappearance.

Miss Negra meanwhile began sweet talking La Gomorra and a few minutes later she was holding the 3K in her hand. She hurriedly excused herself and rushed to the nearest K Cash Deposit where she replenished Vova's empty savings account. The Russian was currently in Pattaya enjoying his weekend with his own kind. Earlier that day, Miss Negra had successfully arranged a hot session with a guy from the other side of the river and she was determined to go there to cap her amazing night.

"Spell EXCLUSIVITY...x..k..l.u..c..v..t...T..T" the gal recited smiling as she walked back to her friends' table.

To Ms Dakila, we wish you the best in your next endeavor. We love you! xoxoxo

Rexona's Unparalleled Russian Exploits Reduces Martina Negra's Russian Resume into Ashes

2010-11-24T02:31:00.001-08:00

Rexona Gomorra has taken a Russian lover in her effort to keep up with the Joneses or the Negras to be more precise.

“Russian is trending!” the petite lady exclaimed while we got in the jam packed elevated train at Phrakanong station, the gateway to the infamous Pridi Banomyong , office gals’ haven in the city of Fallen Angels. Her cryptic and personally indulging comment was the least thing I needed to hear that hazy Monday morning but I gave in as I sensed true excitement in her voice and gestures.

“I was at soi 4 last night as my German friend told me that he would go there.” She said which made me frown as I didn’t see the connection between a German and a Russian except for the fact that both meats are the gal’s current favorite main dishes.

“Where is the Russian in the story?” I retorted right away to discourage her from her irrelevant epiphanies. A fellow passenger in a red suit who seemed to detect an interesting subject coming motioned her head conspicuously towards us giving her really big ears an advantage to Rexona’s 2-decibel voice. That sight triggered the bitchiness in me so I moved without delay, blocked the would-be eavesdropper’s view and cut her excitement right there and then.

“Just holding the hand rail” I smiled at her when she glared at me. I gave Rexona the green light to proceed and off she went to narrate her ongoing Russian- themed romantic exploits.

“Before I headed to Soi 4 last night, I was in fact at the house of a Russian admirer to check things out (Only God knows what Rexona checked but I know she was just being decent not to blatantly mentioned the word C or D)”

“And she did not disappoint!” she quickly continued.

“Was this the same Russian boy you were seeing over the last weekends” I probed further as the gal had been happily & proudly telling everyone her new conquests. One of note was the 21 year old Russian who’s currently engaged with a local but managed to rendezvous with Rexona every now & then. This to the gal is a true test of her undeniable pulchritude which her best friend Martina Negra continuously belittles.

“No, a new one!” she said grinning while untying her tightly tied tie to reveal some kiss marks below her neck down to her prominent clavicles. I felt the gal in the red suit at my back moved to have a glimpse of Rexona's proofs of lewdness but I was quick to block her to her chagrin.

“I am being swarmed with Russians these days. I don't understand at all. Is it because it’s the peak season? And I don’t even have a porcelain skin like that of Martina nor a strong stomach for liters of Vodka!” the gal pretended to ask innocently.

Right there and then, I already knew where our conversation was heading to and I was just glad to hear the gal in the red suit commanding the attention of everyone through her announcement in a loud voice.

“Tan poroi san samaat pleeian seentang pai root pai fa mahanakon dai…tii satanee ni kha” her familiar voice reverberated inside the train.

And she wasn’t yet done.

“Next station Asok. Interchange with the MRT!” she continued.

“See you Tuesday!” I told Rexona and bade good bye.

Without our knowing, Miss Negra who's at Nana Station at the time was in fact composing an SMS to report a gal whom she claims to be lacking of originality and who finds satisfaction in outdoing her achievements especially in the field of manhunting. As I worked the narrow footbridge leading to my office, my phone beeped and voila it's Martina Negra on the loose with her usual tantrums.

"All I can say is GAYA GAYA sya! She has no future" went the last lines of her SMS.

ANGELA BASS: A DISTRESSED BEAUTY IN THE DESERT

2010-10-24T17:51:00.000-07:00

The hostile desert air was slapping Angela's face mercilessly that the gal had to fix her improvised burka many times. The lady's face which earlier that day was fully covered with Menna was now looking reddish as the creams melted away leaving traces of white lines on her still unbelievably pretty face. A glint of fear and irritation could be gleaned from the lady's sunglassed eyes as the unbearable heat continuously ravaged her make-up. A few meters away, Angela's Dubai-based brother whom she conveniently called Kuya Mark, one of his many Kuyas spread around the world, was finalizing the deal with some Bangladeshi and Ceylonese caravan guides while Angela's spouse, Kumander Jeffa was consumed with the sight of the camels peacefully huddling around the makeshift tent. A while back, the gal was raging at the sight of Angela Bass and Kuya Mark's act of coquetry while they were on the pick-up on their way to the desert. However, the beautiful sight of the harmless animals seemed to have calmed her down and the more she looked at them the more she became tolerant of the sight and thought of Angela Bass and Kuya Mark's indescretions.

The waves of sand dunes in the seemingly endless desert was for Angela Bass an outlandish and overwhelming sight to behold. The lady took off her sunglasses to have a raw view of the vast horizon. Instantly, she saw a fata morgana of herself - she was looking absolutely wilted in the middle of the dessert and yet, she was sitting comfortably atop a beautiful camel being ushered by the fresh and robust looking Jeffa, her husband. This unpleasant mirage startled Angela Bass that she had to force herself right back to reality if only to escape the nightmarish hallucination. Jeffa who saw the paleness in her wife's face immediately offered her handkerchief and the box of chinchanzoos and menna, their favorite miracle creams, which they had successfully smuggled at the immigration two days ago. Dismissing the mirage as a mere psychological reaction to her new environment, Angela spread a generous amount of menna in her reddish face and told everyone she was ready for the adventure. Without her knowing, the mirage was in fact an omen for the next days to come.

It's been two months since Angela and Jeffa's arrival in the Land of Camels and Oases but Angela Bass remains unemployed. Jeffa, on the other hand, got a job instantly the next week following their arrival and Dirham started pouring in to their tiny abode generously. While this was an immediate source of joy for the immigrating couple Miss Bass who's used to be the breadwinner hence, the head of the house, suddenly found herself teetering on the brink of becoming a full-fledged, totally dependent housewife. This was something Miss Bass wouldn't easily accept so she summoned her courage and began contacting her friends back in the city of Angels expressing her desire to come back owing to culture shock, hygiene shock, weather shock and electric shock. Competitive as she was, she of course didn't mention the household shock and her domestic status. She did however state that her husband found a good job and he's all good.

Two weeks later, Miss Bass was called in for an interview by a Marketing Firm. She seemed to have impressed the boss in the interview that she was asked to start the job on November 15. Miss Bass has since started working for the firm but maintains her desire to come back if there's a chance.

Lady V's response sums up the general reaction among office gals concerning Miss Bass' woes in the Desert Land

"Think twice before you decide... there's a scholarship in Germany, a managerial job in Chiang Mai, a voluntary work in Kenya, a secretarial position in Singapore but you chose to be an entertainer in Dubai...work and save for your air fare ticket back to the city and i will be there first thing in the morning waiting for you at the airport!"

La Bubble's Birthday Bash - A Night to Remember

2010-10-05T08:05:00.000-07:00

Ditching her colonial-sounding surname, Vela, and sporting a slimmer frame, Miss Bubbles Paradise celebrated her 20th birthday at Madame Noreesa’s flat one auspicious drizzling Saturday evening.

La Bubbles was all but charming as she started engaging everyone with her usual priceless antics. Clad in a plaid vermillion shirt which she contrasted with tight black pants, the lady presided over the initially small coterie of friends and effortlessly played the role of a gracious hostess.

“I gonna be more manly from now on.” she replied when her guests unanimously asked about her change of outfit.

“It’s my bday resolution” she immediately added before Lady V could retaliate over the apparent irony.

While her face exuded exuberance, an outsider would easily notice the tinge of giddiness in the lady’s happy gestures. It was made obvious by her terse, nervous smiles and controlled laughter. Indeed, she was but overly giddy. Minutes passed, the height of the lady’s giddiness reached the pinnacle when she checked her phone and read the message.

“Ohh, he’s been here all along” she said gingerly and then hurriedly excused herself to usher the newly arrived special guest, the obvious reason for her giddiness.

Her name is Antonia na Promphong, Miss Bubbles’ on and off lover in the city of Fallen Angels. If you have followed La Bubble’s stat messages on Fayz book, you would probably remember the name Antonia in the following order “will watch movie with A”, “enjoyed road trip with A. so happy!” , “learned the XYZ of love and breaking up with A”, “Love is Freedom”, “seeing A” and “A said he will be there for me forever!” And the litany of love, despair, triumph and optimism goes on… all with A attached to it. Well, that was just an assumption as a result of a shocking revelation that for 3 days in a row Ms. Paradise was all tears following her break up with A or her dethronement from the legal wife status. However, on the 4th day Martina Negra spotted her at DJ with an Omani prince while at the same time she was flirting clandestinely with a Latino on the side. I didn’t know if Ms Negra mixed up the two (considering Ms Negra’s Soviet Union concentrated mindset) as the next day Ms. Paradise told the press (that’s us) that she escorted a royalty the other night. But, the fact that A made such an impact-reducing our wonder gal into tears for three days – only fortified the office gals’ mounting curiosity about her! If there was a gal itching to see and finally meet Ms. Paradise’s raison d’etre, she would be P Na Dindaeng, Bubble’s BFF.

Antonia Na Promphong was definitely a charming lass. Her presence was immediately felt not only because Ms. Paradise’s whole attention was with her the whole time but she’s also got an amazing voice which was exploited the whole night. Ms. Paradise couldn’t ask for more but to savor the romantic moments… her face was aglow and brimming with happiness. Ms. Gommora who couldn’t stand the heartwarming sight couldn’t help but extend her felicitations to her idol on the fine squeeze.

The celebration went on smoothly and as more guests arrived the merrier the party became. Among those who arrived in the middle of the celebration were Miss Martina Negra na On Nut with her Russian pseudo boyfriend slash employer, La Vova de Vulva na Narathiwat. Quite unexpectedly, the taciturn Russian participated in the discussion to Martina’s delight as she’s tired apologizing for her boyfriend’s antisocial character. Ms. Gomorra can elucidate this aspect further should you need details on this. Another gal arrived almost by midnight, Kristina Babaji na Silom. She brought with her a fabulous invention from Las Islas which brings magic to non-singers as their voices suddenly become bearable when singing in the special microphone. Ms. Gomorra insists that wireless microphones remain the best. Apparently, she’s not thrilled about the invention.

Other gals in attendance apart from those mentioned above were Lady V Na Klongtan who disregarded her doctor’s advice (that she stays home and recuperate) just to be able to attend to the event, La Greta Na Rattanakosin who had to leave earlier to fulfill her domestic duties as a dutiful wife, the co-hostess Madam Noreesa Na Ladphrao who along with the birthday celebrator made the event truly memorable.

Out of curiosity, I was at Fayz book to fish for some aftershock of the event especially for the bday celebrator, and boy, this stat message really shocked me!

..... is finally fucked hahaha

Well, looks like the above is the actual birthday resolution after all. That assumption aside, happy birthday La Bubbles and more amazing years to come! We love you. xoxoxo

UNCOVERING an OFFICE GAL'S FANTASIES from her STATUS MESSAGES

2010-09-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

A recent study from the Online Networking Engineers of Columbia University reveals that people who constantly update their status messages at Fay’s book or any networking sites are sexually suppressed and in fact are actively looking for potential mates online. Those who seldom update their status messages are no different. They are just shy. Finally, those who never update their status messages are plain perverts. Fortunately, this is just pure GG or else we would have discovered the gals who are brimming with testosterones by merely visiting their profiles at Fay’s book. Please don't roll your eyes Angela Bass, Rexona Gommorra, Martina Negra, Lady B and the queen of stats, Madam Juliana Vela.

To begin with, I love reading status messages especially from the modern, industrious office gals who after a toilsome day at work find time to update their Fay’s Book, Gee Tok, Yoyo Mess or MSN to touch base with their friends. Some status messages automatically raise my eyebrows in disbelief while others naturally make me smile, laugh hard and cry.

In no particular order, the following are the status messages that have caught my attention recently. I made some petty comments in parenthesis after each to give you inkling on the owner of the status message.

………… is overwhelmed to have Sunshine in Bangkok! Where were you when I was on the siege of darkness? Don't ever ever live me Miss little Sunshine ;) (Well, after a sudden dethronement from the legal wife status metaphorically referred to as “the siege of darkness” a ray of sunshine is indeed a relief!)

…………. looks forward for an eventful everning at the Gym and a three week celibacy moda! :)) (as if the 'eventful evening at the gym' would last you for that 3 week self-imposed celibacy mode...the next day would surely be an eventful evening at the veranda :))

…….. is in the mood for love... (after countless relationship fizzles it's just right to remain optimistic and to believe in love nonetheless)

…… is stressed and wants to get drunk tonight...(if you get snubbed by the apple of your eye or worst blocked you from gayromeo you would definitely go nuts and contemplate on getting drunk to forget the pain at least temporarily)

.... will get through this, whatever it takes. (domestic issues are but spices of marital life that if surpassed would make the relationship stronger...if not, time to find a new condo gal)

...i will never ever climb Wat Arun again!!! OMG! i was so scared! ( Is fear of heights the real reason or it's just that you're too heavy to scale the famous Wat?)

....patience...i'm running out of patience! (if you are dealing with bureaucracy and incompetent people you definitely need patience.)

.... I can't stand when someone says they want to save the planet. The planet is fine, the people are the problem.(hurry up in your lawyering aspirations to be able to say this with utmost authority!)

....Sa nangyayari sa Manila ngayon, mas kailangan talagang manalo si Venus para naman maiahon sa putik ng kahihiyan ang ating bansa. Go Venus! (patriotic gal is obviously into the current events not only of Las Islas but the whole world as a whole...take note Venus competed for Miss Universe which was a global event...hehehe!)

...Random thought of the evening: What ever happened to Maria Sovietskaya Bacud? Anyone? (Supposedly the most beautiful BB Pilipinas World but for more accurate profiling of the oriental beauty and its supposed magical effects please visit kawadjan.blogspot.com)

....SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!! STOP HURTING MY FRIEND IF YOU CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT WHY DONT YOU GO BACK TO YOUR MOTHERS WOMB AND LEARN SOME ETIQUTTE.. (coming from who else but the gal who always compromises grammar and spelling just to get her strong message across!)

.....it was a very competitive field.....high quality candidates etc.....anyone knows these cliches? (job hunting down under is definitely as serious as in the city of fallen angels)

...needs more time (more time specifically hours to travel by bus...sakit ng pwet ko)

... is feeling sick. So sick that I made at least 15 trips to the toilet today :-( ( The aftermath of food poisoning is definitely not the most manageable situation to be in so choose your food gal)

...pretty enjoying my cute small room at the roof top....on Tuesday (back at Las Islas... whatelse can a girl in exile do but to appreciate what she's having)

...I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number? (all these interesting minute details won't pass unnoticed to the critical lawyer turned resort manager)

...my goodness!!!!! my bangkok friends are seriously betting over the miss universe top 5!!! ang bet...100 baht...pambili daw ng manok for the weekend adobo!!! hahahahaha!!! where's the tambiolo??? (miss friendship is but all accomodating to her friend's betting game...)

There you have my list. If your status message was not included, it doesn't really that mean you were forgotten. It only means that something even more promising is waiting for you. You know you love me xoxo

LOVE OR CAREER? : AN OFFICE GAL'S DILEMMA

2010-09-02T00:31:00.000-07:00

There always comes a painful time when an office gal has to choose between her love and her career. This is because the two will never successfully coexist. At one point or another, one is to be compromised for the optimal success of the other. This may be a pessimistic view but the case of our dear Cynthia (not her real name) who is currently in dilemma should be something we can learn from. Read our RAW chat transcript below via Geetalk and please offer a solution to her problem by posting a SENSIBLE comment.

Cynthia: aloha porgy
Cynthia: you there?
GG: Connie
spoke to dehada already ?
Cynthia: hahaha noooo its ok
GG: she will transfer the dats eni eni today
Cynthia: i know shes still with her mom thats fine
GG: ok
Cynthia: just wanted to ask you kung nakalipat ka na ba
GG: ahahaha true
teh
i did
Cynthia: kareeee
GG: 911 remember
Cynthia: yaha
eek september naaa!
how time flies!
GG: true
so what's new gertrude
?
tell me
Cynthia: what's new, well, there seems to be trouble brewing, nothing major yet
but there's some domestic issues
GG: OMG
not a good sign
Cynthia: true that
GG: but knowing your dominatrix tendencies
Cynthia: i landed a good job but i think i may not have the same success with my personal life
GG: ohhhhhhhhhhh
those two don't really coexist well
so choose!
Cynthia: so i dont know how this will affect my life in the city of fallen angels
hahaha
i cant choose!
sort of trapped in this arrangement of living with you know who
GG: well, you have always been a self-proclaimed celibate
and independent woman
Cynthia: hahaha
GG: so u can always go back to the old ways
Cynthia: celibacy is not the issue at hand at this point
GG: but please no more phubet and palawee
Cynthia: hahaha
where am i to go, thats the question
GG: there are still vacant rooms
Cynthia: i love my condo
i wanna stay there
so i cant leava
*leave
GG: i understand
hiyang mo nga dun eh
with ur drastic weight loss
Cynthia: hahaha
GG: and serene aura
Cynthia: my drastic weight loss is a byproduct of all the stress i have endured
slash happiness
GG: ahahahhaha
Cynthia: hay!
ano ba gagawin ko teh, gusto ko naman magstay dun sa condo bilang love ko na yung place
GG: wala na raw ba ceiling na malinisan accrdg to miss dehada
Cynthia: hahaha!
thats not the main priority these days
oh well
GG: i know
ok, what u can do is
try to fix things..make an agreement
with him
Cynthia: maybe i shall get in touch with you one of these days if i need a place to at least sleep in, to keep my mind off things
agreement? to move out?
GG: ok, why not
it's high time magda
u owe us a lot of chika
magbonding tau sa bago naming balur
maganda balcony doon
chos!!!
Cynthia: hahaha
will let you know...i know i owe you guys a lot of stories
GG: ja
Cynthia: since i moved out my life has not been the same
GG: of course all we know is that it's just pure bliss
Cynthia: hahaha
no way
just like a good PR person
i made all the good publicity
but then you know it's more than just a press release
GG: understand but you see at the end of the day the bottomline of everything is
do we still look beautiful after the trials???
lol
Cynthia: correct
that is indeed the main concern
at this point
GG: true
Cynthia: fabulosity is key
but thats the thing
GG: korak
at all costs magda
Cynthia: my eyes got awfully big circles
i look more panda than cat nowadays
GG: oh no
keri lng yan wag lng black eye
see martina's face
Cynthia: hahaha di naman
its just cos of lack of sleep
GG: from the violent russian
Cynthia: hahaha
LOL
but i truly owe you loads of kwento
and maybe you can enlighten me
as you are the main perpetrator of my being here in this crazy city
LOL
GG: ahahahahha
seven heads are better than one
so we will convene

Whether one chooses love over career or vice versa, at the end of the day, what matters most is that we are happy and satisfied with our decision!

Office Gals who are making 'major major' waves! Congratulations!

2010-08-26T22:32:00.001-07:00

Gossip girl is delighted to share with you some 'major major' good news about the lives of some office gals who are doing their best towards personal and professional successes in their own cunning means. Amidst life's adversities which plague most office gals the last months, let these office gals inspire you with their achievements.

Lady B as Mikaela Blomkvist

While everyone was shocked when Lady B suddenly decided to cohabit with her young boyfriend, the continuous successes of Lady B in the field of love and career in the next months that followed would prove to be more shocking. Just recently, Lady B's review on Oprah's Unauthorized Biography by the infamous biographer to the stars Kitty Kelly was published in Bangkok Post's Leisure section. In her review Lady B lambasted Kelly's abuse of sensationalism and lazyness to look for original materials about her subject if any thing left considering Oprah's very public life. Lady B highlighted some of the supposedly dirty secrets of the Queen of Talk and labeled them as 'not so dirty little secrets' after all. In the end, Lady B concludes that Kitty Kelly is the queen of GGs alive. Thanks for the vindication Lady B. At any rate, the book which failed to sell enough copies to make it to the Best Seller's List, has 500 pages and weighs 5.5 kilos according to Lady B. It took Lady B 5 straight days to skim and scan the biography before writing her amazing review.

Click here to read the review.

Cementing her undeniable journalistic skills and aptitude, Lady B will be leaving her current job any time soon to start working as an editor for a magazine. The name of the magazine is not yet known as of press time but it's a fashion and life style magazine as per Lady B's chika. She promised however to provide everyone a copy of the magazine's first issue once it's available. Congratulations Lady B on these successes!

ANGELA BASS as the next Charice Pempengco!

She is not only famous in singing on wireless microphones or Karaoke machines as Angela Bass is in real life a good singer capable of belting high notes with her 6 octave voice. While her voice is way behind Charice's 10 octave voice, Angela's voluptuous figure compensates for the necessary remaining octaves thus qualifying her for the diva status. Unlike Charice, Angela ventured first in the world of xtube.com and other pornsites to showcase her talents. Unfortunately, she had moderate successes in these industries. She eventually discovered the more wholesome youtube so she immediately repackaged herself and started honing her singing. And boy, she succeeded! Miss Angela Bass and her boyfriend are set to fly to the Land of the Camels and Oases anytime soon to become lounge singers in several luxury hotels in the country.

Discover Miss Angela's winning audition here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT8uctaZgaU

Let's not forget the minor achievements of Miss Martina Negra. She has finally learned to deal with heartaches with grace and confidence. She no longer goes gaga over the Russian whenever the latter calls. In fact, she ignores the call sometimes. Just the same, she is often seen sobbing in her corner at the office. The good thing is Miss Gomorra is always on the rescue especially noting developments about the lady's moving on and relaying them to yours truly diligently as if I required her to do it. Just the same thanks Ms Gomorra for the updates.

Finally, there is Miss Juliana Vela who is back to being single and is currently the head of TAT's Rediscovering Thai Culture and Traditions. The recently divorced lady is now channeling her time and energy to preserving the Siamese cultural heritage. And how does she do it? By going window shopping in historical sites such as Sanam Luang, Victory Monument, Ratchaprasong intersection and Pratunam.

And lest I forget, the sexually active Miss Gomorra just had her HIV test yesterday as part of her preparation for the next big thing (to be tackled in the next post) and the result of the test was NEGATIVE. So congratuations Ms Gomorra.

Minor or 'major major' achievements, clearly the gals above are but the living proofs that if they can, why we can't. Hence, I urge everyone to follow their dreams as out tito Paolo says through the Alchemist " If you really want something the whole universe conspires to make your dreams come true!"

At Room 412 I Sat down and Wept: Rexona Gomorra’s Ultimate Emancipation from Bad Romance

2010-08-17T03:42:00.001-07:00

As Rexona Gomorra picked up the bouquet of dried roses from her vacant dresser, the last trace of her one year and 5 months existence at room 412, a surge of persistent bygone hankering began to consume her especially when a familiar photo of a man in his striking salt and pepper hair a la George Clooney fell off from the wilted flowers.

“I swear” Rexona gasped as she took the picture from the floor and her eyes generously welled up with tears. Contrary to the gal’s emotion, the man in the picture was smiling, apparently, proud and thankful for the b-day cake at his side. His name was Mike as far as the writings on the cake were concerned. As Rexona surveyed each letter from the man’s name which she herself inscribed owing to the illiteracy of the cake vendor who couldn’t spell the 4-letter name correctly, the lady was suddenly transported back in the past, exactly 11 months ago, when she just stepped in the city of fallen angels.

Monday evening of July 2009, the gal was seating strategically at Suda’s open air restaurant waiting patiently for her order, kai tod aka fried chicken. A group of men fresh from work arrived who even from a distance Rexona had already detected through her sharp eyes. The lady swiveled her mono-block chair to face the guys’ table particularly focusing on a man in his late 30s with a gray head. His elegance and professional look immediately caught Rexona’s attention especially the way he flicked the stick of Philip Morris in his dainty fingers. Rexona could not help but sip her Fanta Orange and savor the pleasant view. After her rather uncomfortable dinner as she became uneasy when the guy began looking at her, Rexona rushed to the toilet to wash her hand before she'd off to work and if she would be lucky tomorrow evening, she might be able to see Mr. Professional again. Rushing to the toilet seemed a good decision as the guy followed there afterwards to wash his hands. Face to face, Rexona summoned all her courage and strength and introduced herself. The guy looked into her nervous, pretty face, smiled and took her hand... and just like that their whirlwind romance began.

Tuesday evening of July 2009, Rexona was no longer seated alone on her monoblock chair as she was seating beside Mr. Professional playing the role of an enthusiastic, giddy wife. By the end of the night, just like good wives in movies, Rexona knew Mr. Professional’s likes and dislikes, his favorite books, soccer team and the like. Of course, she had made plans to bring these likes into realizations especially that the guy’s b-day was imminent.

Wednesday evening of July 2009, Rexona was at the movie house not alone but with the apple of his eyes clinging to her once really thin waist. She knew she had to be at the office at 9 pm but she could hardly care. Earlier she sent sms to her boss saying she was very sick which forbade her from going to work that day. Her first movie date was what mattered most at that time.

Thursday and Friday, Rexona and her guy met at Suda but this time they were seating on a separate table. They would smooch once and a while shocking old Suda and delighting her waitresses whose youth and naivete minus their eagerness for tip added to the attraction of the restaurant as one travelogue online claimed.

Sunday, Rexona got off hurriedly from the BTS with her big bag and rushed to the nearest S&P shop. She asked for the cake she pre-ordered and asked the lady to write a name after the word HAPPY B-DAY! The lady seemed to have a hard time spelling the word that she wrote MAYD instead of MIKE. Flabbergasted, Rexona took the cake writing apparatus and wrote the name by herself. Then she was off to Lumpini Park, their meeting place.

Thank God. She was not late. Rexona always made it a point not to be late when meeting a foreigner. She believed that a gal who’s late has no future just like a gal who doesn’t wear perfume (referring to Coco's quotes). After she finished spreading the mat, setting the cake and the set of paperbacks, she sat slowly to compose herself. But strong hands suddenly held her small shoulders and the exhausted gal began to melt while her mane grew in miles. Rexona woke up from her reverie at that point.

She looked again at the picture intently, smiled back to the man and kept the photo in a box almost full with other mementos. She took the dried flowers to her face, smelled them for the last time before shoving them in the dark plastic bin.

“I swear Mike, I loved you!” Rexona sighed as she reached for the door knob. In the next room, Lady V was playing a song with a lyrics that went “I remember the boy but I don’t remember the feeling anymore!”

Rexona locked the door, pulled her suitcase and worked the narrow corridor fiercely.